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Carol Rifka Brunt, Tell the Wolves I’m Home

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you don't see it? your mind's polluted

(my pinterest <3)

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Jennifer Saunders, from “When the Guest Speaker Told Us“

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Mary Oliver, from a poem titled "Work," featured in The Southern Review (edited)

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Andrea Gibson, The Madness Vase

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Celeste Ng, Little Fires Everywhere

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i miss you, do you miss me?

i drove by a sign for your old middle school and thought of you

 we haven’t talked since my birthday

 even then it was a measly happy birthday on your story at noon instead of midnight

i don’t think we’re friends anymore, you have shiny new ones

you still have my hair clip from eight months ago

i wonder if i’ll ever get it back

how many of my sayings and mannerisms are borrowed from you?

do you still say them the way i do?

do you have new ones i don’t know about?

new friends, new interests, new hobbies, new clothes, a new life?

how much has changed in your life away from me?

how much has stayed the same?

do you miss me the way i miss you?

or have you forgotten all about me?

it feels like you left me at a bus stop waiting for you to come back

maybe i’ll get a new best friend

maybe they’ll be a better one than you were in our half decade friendship

maybe i won’t

maybe i won’t ever have a best friend like you

where people mistaked us as lovers 

maybe its better this way

maybe its what needed to happen

maybe we needed to drift apart

have different lives

is it selfish of me to want you all to myself?

is it horrible to see bad things happen to you and think that its karma?

a year ago i couldn’t dream of thinking this way

maybe a year from now i’ll forget you all together

or maybe you’ll haunt the back of my mind like a ghost,

bringing up memories wherever i go.

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out of place

Its an interesting thing to be sober a family of alcoholics

You feel wrong for not wanting to drink

Weird

Out of place

At family events there’s mass amounts of alcohol

Mostly beer because its cheap and being alcoholic is an expensive hobby

Its always joking “do you want a sip of my beer?”

We both know they’re messing

But then it comes time for shots and that’s when the trouble begins

“hey take a shot with us!”

“please take a shot I wanna drink with you!!”

“just one shot!”

“just one sip!”

“no thanks”

“I’m good”

“I don’t drink”

“I don’t want to”

I’m pleading

I’ll say it a thousand times till I’m blue in the face for them to finally accept the “no”

Why isn’t that good enough the first time?

Now that I’m older everything is different

Am I missing out on the quintessential college experience?

Am I living my life right?

Why can’t I just take a sip?

Take a shot?

Why do I have such an adverse reaction to alcohol?

Am I scared to drink because of my family?

To fall victim to alcoholism?

Is it a reaction to the constant pressure to drink that I’ve had for half my life?

Am I scared I might like the feeling?

I feel wrong

Weird

Out of place

Its an interesting thing to be sober in a family of alcoholics

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What delightful weather we have had for a week! It seems more like smiling May crowned with flowers than cold February wading through snowdrifts. I have heard some sweet little birds sing, but I fear we shall have more cold weather and their little bills will be frozen up before their songs are finished.

Emily Dickinson in a letter to Abiah Root dated 23 February 1845

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may by Tom Disch

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I will wander down it and pick flowers, green cowbind and the moonlight-coloured May, wild roses and ivy serpentine.

Virginia Woolf, The Waves

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The birds were singing in their scattered way. The starlings in their bright mail were feeding on the grass. Dew shone, red, violet, gold on the trembling tips of the grass blades. It was a perfect May morning.

Virginia Woolf, The Years

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Emily Dickinson, from a letter to Lavinia Dickinson wr. c. May 1870

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Charlotte Brontë, from Jane Eyre

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— Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

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{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz from diagnosis,The glimmering room}