icallmyselfdee-blog

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

I think maybe I should leave Tumblr

Why not, instead of derailing a post concerned with race to yourself, you seek out some help? Suicide isn’t the answer, but neither is suicide ideation on a post about race when literally nobody was judging you about your health and ability to “fight for others.” People were mad that you turned it on yourself and derailed the whole message. Please seek help

Sorry

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

Why not, instead of derailing a post concerned with race to yourself, you seek out some help? Suicide isn’t the answer, but neither is suicide ideation on a post about race when literally nobody was judging you about your health and ability to “fight for others.” People were mad that you turned it on yourself and derailed the whole message. Please seek help

Sorry

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

Reason # 2 why I want to kill myself.

I’m a mentally ill crip.

Yes I’m a coward - but I also lack the strength for the fight.

I can hardly get through my own days.

I failed to fight for MY OWN rights under DDA legislation.

It is selfish as fuck - but I have nothing to give to the 209 fights I care about.

So -- maybe if I killed myself but left a good note... that would be something?

And most white people don’t actively fight to eradicate inequality and injustice because they usually benefit in some small way. The Southern economy was built on evil slavery. Jim Crow laws maintained a national order with white people firmly planted atop the social hierarchy. Systematic injustice keeps black people in their place, but it also comforts white people to know that the big black bogeymen are being kept behind bars.

Inequality and racism exist not because of evil but because the unaffected majority put their interests above all others, and their inaction allows inequality to flourish. That is why I believe that silence in the presence of injustice is as bad as injustice itself. White people who are quiet about racism might not plant the seed, but their silence is sunlight.

Many of those people don’t speak out because they fear alienation more than they hate racism. For them, the fear of having someone furrow their brow in their direction outweighs their hatred of sending children to an underfunded school knowing that they don’t have an equal chance at success because of the color of their skin.

Reading this article, on Juneteenth of all days, allowed me to take the first calm breath I’ve taken today. It changes nothing but it brings perspective to everything I have been feeling and struggling with. White cowardice is the conjoined twin of white supremacy, locked together and working toward a world of evil and injustice.

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

What scares me MOST?

The 30s and 40s are still LIVING MEMORY.

People are still alive who were teenagers in Nazi/SS camps. People are still alive who were forcibly sterilised under racist and eugenic legistlation.

The Holocaust isn’t 250 years ago and something you only know about if you are a history major.

And we as a species, we as racist gits are still willing to go there. Not only in America but in Europe.

Roma, Sinti, Gypsy, Jew...

Muslim, Hispanic, black...

Non-White

Non-Protestant

Non-Catholic

Non-Orthodox

We’ve SEEN where “You are less human than I am” ideation takes us.

Over and over again.

And we’re still fucking doing it.

If ever a generation deserved the Deluge, it’s us. God, for the love of man, just wipe us out and start over.

Salvini, who has seen a jump in his approval ratings in the little under three weeks he has been in office, has called for a new census of Roma and for all non-Italian Roma to be expelled.

He also praised on Twitter the demolition of an “illegal” house used by Roma in Turin - which had been ordered by a local council controlled by Salvini’s League party - even as he was condemned by rival politicians and a top Jewish leader.

The Roma community has long been a target of Salvini, whose rise to prominence often involved press appearances at Roma camps, which he has frequently threatened to raze. Few minorities are treated with as much contempt in Italy as the Roma, who face prejudice and stereotypes that are deeply ingrained in the social consciousness.On Monday Salvini ordered the census and the removal of all non-Italian Roma – which he called an “answer to the Roma question” – and said he wanted to know “who, and how many” there were.

ex-fucking-scuse me? 

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

Language Changes

I recently described one of my winter anoraks as “Pouffy” to my mother.

SHE had a five minute gigglefit.

When I asked, “What the hell was that?!”

She explained, “POUFFY??!! Like ‘Pouff’??!!”

The light dawned.

Only (1) that term is both out-dated and homophobic and no longer part of *my* vocabulary; and (2) apparently my mother has a 12-y-o sense of humour.

I’m not sure which is worse.

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

I think the most pertinent question is: can you engage this mode when driving through farmland when they’ve just fertilised the fields or past the pig farms on the A14?

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

I am less concerned about the tree than about how as a world and a species we have to keep its location secret - OTHERWISE SOME ASSHAT WOULD CUT IT DOWN.

Geez.

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

I am enormously fortunate.

I am on Benefits but my parents Gift me the money for my gas, Electric and Water bills.

My rent is covered by Housing Allowance.

So my actual benefits are to cover Council Tax, Groceries, Toiletries, Phone & Broadband and extras/gifts/donations.

It’s the Extras/Gifts/Donations that get me.

Online writing/drawing course sounds good -- where do I take it from?

Friend needs Patreon donations.

Two-year-old neice and six-year-old nephew - both their parents work and have good jobs - what do I do about gifts.

CHARITIES/GOOD CAUSES/PEOPLE I LIKE NEEDING DONATIONS.

What do I do?

Do I deduct from the groceries/toiletries budget?

Do I tell my neice and nephew that there are people who need what I can spare FAR more than they do, so no birthday/Christmas/visit presents this year?

WHERE DO I TAKE THE MONEY FROM FOR ALL THE GOOD CAUSES PEOPLE ASK ME TO SUPPORT???!!!

There’s always another disaster relief effort, cause of the moment, Patreon request, SOME-FUCKING-THING...

What do I give up to donate to it????

Maybe I should not buy food next week to help the illegal migrants in Texas this week - I know they are being treated like shit and families separated, I’m hearing it from 45 sources... but what do I gove up in order to be able to give?

Maybe I should cancel my monthly broadband subscription, get off-line and give that £30 a month to charity instead....

If it isn’t on social media, I get stopped in the street and asked to sign up to monthly donations, or it’s on TV....

Tell me: should I NOT buy my (spoiled by their parents, have LOTS of toys) neice nad nephew any more presents in order to give that to charity instead????

Please advise.... The chocolate on my grocery budget isn’t necessary... should I give it up and donate instead?

Where do I take the money I want to give FROM??!!

I last went abroad in 1996. I have never taken a vacation *I* paid for. I last stayed in a hotel in 2006.

What can I give up? Some of my clothes are 27 years old.

Oh God, I spent £45 on MCU DVDs this year.... that’s £45 that could have saved a starving family

I’m a selfish evil cunt.

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

Dear Nonny,

In your ask I noticed that you typed, “As a reader, I often find typos in fan fiction. Part of feels like I should say something, everyone hates typos.”

Are you being fucking ironic?

You wrote a four-line, five-sentence ask and either you can’t English or you missed a word.

But you want to comment on someone’s fan fiction - the FREE STORIES they are giving you, about characters you (presumably) love and tell the writers about their typos?

Really?

Do you still want to comment when you learn that writer with the occasional typo, homophone confusion and malapropism is writing in her third language, which uses a different alphabet/script than her first two?

Or that the writer has a chronic health problem but still uses spoons she can hardly spare to write fic?

Or the writer has mental health problems?

I have Depression and Anxiety - after I received a two-page “con-crit” on my first fic in a fandom which amounted to “how I would have written a completely different story from the same premise and because I was looking for this story not yours, I don’t think you know how to construct a story” it took me SIX YEARS to regain the courage to post something I had written.

Yes, typos can be annoying - especially if the writer tags the story “I wrote this instead of sleeping” or “I wrote this in one hour and am publishing unedited” and you can see how ten minutes spent editing could have improved it.

But unless the writer says something like, “Please tell me if you spot any typos/errors!” they are not posting for critiques. Unless it’s actually a critique/beta-read forum.

Comments on a fic archive should be encouraging. MAYBE if you love a writer but they really need a beta-reader you can ask if they are in the market for one. But tell them why you love their work enough you want to spend hours of your time going through it with a fine-tooth-comb FIRST.

Tell a writer why you left that kudos. Why you re-read the story and wish you could leave more kudos. Why having read that fic you went to see what else they have written.

Don’t tell someone what you have issues with - unless they have asked you to do so specifically. Even if they ask for con-crit, most fan-writers mean “generally”, not a line-edit.

I am really bad at leaving comments (see Anxiety) because I’m scared about what people will think of me if I say what I especially liked. And I’m particularly bad after two anti-Tony individuals took issue with my COMMENT on a pro-Tony fic - bad enough fearing attacks on my opinions for the fic I write without fearing attacks on my opinions for the fics I LIKE.

But commenting on a fic to discuss TYPOS shows some real chutzpah. Especially when you are not immune yourself.

I’m curious your thoughts on this. As a reader, I often find typos in fan fiction. Part of feels like I should say something, everyone hates typos. But on the other hand, is it rude? Is it one of those things that comes off condescending no matter what?

Ok, let’s start with…. I’m currently on the seventh draft of a novel and yesterday I found a typo. What should have been ‘chance’ was ‘change’. I’ve read this over a dozen times and it has had over half a dozen outside readers. No one caught that.

If you are used to reading books, you need to understand any professionally published book has gone through the hands of proofreaders and copy editors who get PAID to find errors (and yet who among us hasn’t found a typo in a book?)

When you are reading fanfic you are reading the amateur offerings of someone writing in their spare time. Even if they have a beta reader, as my chance/change issue illustrates, people miss things. They miss them repeatedly. And no money has been exchanged.

Every author is going to feel differently. Fanfic writers are not a hive mind. Some people are pleased to hear about the dropped period in a fic they wrote five years ago.

Me? If it’s a chapter I posted very recently, I’ll go and fix it. Probably. But maybe not. Certainly not if it’s an old story.

And the bulk of the time, reviewers who feel the need to point out typos don’t say anything else and what I HEAR from those comments is, “You wrote a 200,000 word story but it’s all trash because of typos.”

Personally, the only time I point out ANYTHING negative is if I have been asked to alpha or beta read. Why would I dump on a fanwork, created and shared as a hobby?

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

i’m still PISSED about harry potter leaving draco to die because “oh boo hoo there aren’t enough seats in this minivan someone has to stay behind” like you fool. you fucking fool. i’ve ridden to walmart and back in an 11-person shuttle seating 17 people just bc i didn’t wanna wait to get some skim milk. are you really telling me that you couldn’t put a dude in the trunk for the sake of getting away from a collapsing island? you worried about not having enough seat belts??? people died bc of your poor minivan management skills, harry

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

Joy(!) 2

First allergic reaction to an insect bite of the summer!

My whole calf is hard and swollen, bright red, hot to the touch and painful! And I can’t take anti-histamines because of drug interactions with my prescription meds!

Yay(!)

(Annoying things about spinal injuries no one ever thinks about #497: your inability to chase and catch/squish the various flying creatures who come in through your windows in the summer.)

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

If I need to put up with someone taking the piss out of me in order to experience “love” I’d rather die alone.

Is this “he’s in love with you” or “a thirteen year old has a crush on you”?

Watch Full Video Here: 6 Clear Signs He’s In Love With You - YouTube

Subscribe to our Youtube Channel

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

While this is true, there is also, I believe, a talent “ceiling” for how good you can be/get no matter how much you study and practice, just as not everyone/anyone is capable of getting a PhD, no matter how hard they work.

The “you can do anything if you only try hard enough” lie is quite as damaging as the “only a pre-chosen elite are capable of this craft/skill/career” lie.

Wanting to do something and putting the effor in are only parts of the total sum.

Telling a child with a global learning disability (as a somewhat extreme example, but it’s not like it never happens) that “if they can dream it they can be it, if only they try hard enough”, is ultimately cruel.

You CAN learn to write or draw or paint - but that does not mean that you are capable of being another da Vinci, Michelangelo or Shakespeare and that if you fail to achieve their levels, it’s a failure of putting the time or the effort in.

you’re never too old to learn how to draw

never too old to learn how to write. or sculpt. or paint. or design.

learning an art is a decision, not a “talent.” you have to choose to devote time and energy to it. there are rare ppl gifted with the ability to pick up a skill faster than others, but ultimately it all comes down to the choice to invest in it.

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

Reblog to agree with all of this. (And a hint about a properly made Pimms: it doesn’t come out of a pre-mixed can. Talk about travesties.)

I miss London so much. Plays and concerts in the South Bank complex then the walk over Waterloo Bridge to the station in the dark, with the lights from the boats on the River; ENO at the Colliseum and Holland Park Opera in the open air theatre every summer; the public access rooftops around the Barbican and London Wall; Cass Art in Kensington High Street; Mushi-Mushi sushi in Liverpool Street station; traditional trattorias and bistros tucked away in back streets; the Amber Centre in St Christopher’s Place; Long Island Iced Tea Bar in Covent Garden; even the Canary Wharf complex. I don’t even know what’s still around.

After my friends, my research, the libraries, the South Bank, Thursday concerts at St. Martins in the Field, Foyles, and the bridge behind Embankment, out of all the things from the UK, I miss a properly made Pimm’s the most.

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

My instincts have habitually failed to give me any inkling about users, abusers and bullies.

I don’t think I have any intuition.

Now I just don’t trust anyone.

We also have a facebook page as well for discussing various topics, be sure to check it out: here

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

I will do a watercolour of your choice of subject matter i.e. landscape, animal/bird portrait, character/actor portrait (and scan and email it to you) for the first person to Follow me that isn’t a commercial blog or porn (and who doesn’t have a List of Criteria for Followers which excludes me, as the last actual person to Follow me did) but because of a shared interest in:

Netflix Daredevil (Matt/Foggy)

MCU Avengers / Iron Man (Bruce/Tony; Clint/Tony; Bruce/Clint/Tony; IronDad with Harley Keener, Peter Parker or both)

The Professionals (TV) (Bodie/Doyle)

Cabin Pressure (Douglas/Martin)

[icallmyselfdee-blog]

I haven’t read the full article, but according to this, Matt and Foggy were a happy couple at Columbia.

Read Full Article Here: 

12 Things Happy Couples Do For Each Other

For more, follow @psych2go :)