in-my-thinking

[in-my-thinking]

[in-my-thinking]

I wrote this poem way back but we are now realising it’s sentiment ❤️ actually on our European road trip ❤️

so this modern life is a game

but the rules are insane

so let’s pack it all in

just let the others win

liquidate those assets

while we’ve still got our facets

instead of sanity unraveling 


let’s just go travelling

see true wonders and sights

instead of slogging day and night

wouldn’t take much imagination

to ditch this frustration

this mundane stagnation

opt out of the rat race

and it’s satisfaction sapping pace

live out all our hearts’ desire

before the crematorium’s fire

[in-my-thinking]

Mosaic

And so life Will break you Into pieces But with strength You will build A beautiful mosaic Each tesserae A testament To your existence Each tile coloured by Pleasure and pain Until your mosaic Is all that remains

[in-my-thinking]

Maybe the reason I haven’t found the answers I’m looking for is that modern life makes me ask the wrong questions?

[in-my-thinking]

What if the present we give up for their gifts of a better future is not worth the trade? What if the greatest gift of all is the present time? Carpe diem everyone.

[in-my-thinking]

And

And your thoughts, I can read them, Then commit them, To a verse

And your heart, I can touch it, But not release it, From it’s curse

And your delicate fingers, I can grasp them, Intertwine them tightly, Together with mine

And your grief, I can understand it, But not relieve it, Just takes time

And your tears, I can see them, Kiss them away, taste of, salty brine

And your pain, I can feel it, You can’t conceal it, Deeply broken heart

And your future, I can return to you, Once more believe in me, That’s a start

And your soul, I will hold for you, Until you’re whole again, in My safe hands

And my love, We will live again, You growing old with me, Best yet to be

—— for JH

[in-my-thinking]

Love is Like a Butterfly

The oft seen Cabbage White bridal purity, hearts sweet desire The vibrant Red Admiral colour splashes fuel to passions blazing fire

But how can we catch love’s fluttering creation? Desire for her drives our lives in besotted obsession Some chase her with open arms, hands to embrace Others with large nets her delicate wings to encase But even if you chase her catch her finally entrap her How do you keep her Love? She can never be A prisoner

Released from cupped hands she will just take flight Yet fingers damage delicate wings if held too tight Inside glass walls the insane might place her beauty on show Transparency maybe but still the cage of her jailer though The dark, truly self-centred will draw out her very last breath Before drying & pinning to boards in morbid collections of loves death The truth is, though we might chase those delicate wings She flourishes best fluttering free, pulling on heart strings The only true way to attract the hearts Lepidoptera Is to lay bare your soul, that being simply irresistible to her So focus on your personality’s disposition hour aft hour Mirror natures lure to become your own beautiful flower Build petals of desire from a heart made of gold Emanate promises that stem from commitment to uphold Make rivals invisible your kindness her blinding As she, after all, looks for places where comfort’s residing Become vibrant colours radiating your passion’s multiple hues Do all this And loves butterfly will float willingly to you

Once you’ve attracted this butterfly in perfection Then comes the challenge of keeping her attention Do not try to trap nor contain, no forceful retention But feed her with nectar of your own sweet creation Provide her with everything this delicate being desires And you’ll see loves natural growth blissfully transpires

Maybe then you become scared that once more she’ll take flight Loves wings whisked away on winds of a dark stormy night But if you’ve wisely invested then for you only her heart burns Just keep your flower blooming and she, loves butterfly, always returns

Love is like a butterfly Treat her delicately

[in-my-thinking]

happiness came the moment I realised just how much you loved me

sadness came a moment later when I realised nobody would ever love me like that again

not even you

[in-my-thinking]

“experience”

as day bleeds its light into night he sits under dripping vines crafting lines from sins now trapped under his skin yet his words are but silent screams from nightmares not dreams and questions he repeatedly asks of the past get no chances of answers until with so many I told you so’s lined up in neat little rows everything is rearranged yet nothing’s changed still the names remain the same and though he always writes deep into the night there’ll be no peace nor blessed release from the curse of losing his purpose while a welter of experiences still question his very existence yes there’ll be no swan song but still he will go on as each new day again bleeds its light into ever darker nights with so many wrongs to right he’ll just write and write and write dying a million times in the spaces between the lines of his words in rhymes

[in-my-thinking]

The Place

Take me to the place where my dreams went Not sure why they left me were they discontent Take me to the place where they now hide Reasons for departure in me to confide Take to the place of runaway dreams Away from this place where nightmares scream Take me to the place of things life promised So I can ask why were you so dishonest Take me to the place source of life’s current deceit Need to cut a deal and get back on my feet Take me to a place Take me Now

[in-my-thinking]

When life delivers your version of calamity

You just need to accept the new reality

Move on

[in-my-thinking]

It’s now 11 years since you passed,

and death you see, does forever last

Miss you 💔💔

The Cruelest of Cs

In a second, even a millisecond, in a place to you unbeknown Could be anywhere, organ maybe blood, skin or bone  No consummation needed I give birth to myself, the cruelest C But no ship, no boat, no floating vessel is going to sail over me Yet you’ve no idea not the slightest comprehension So blissfully unaware are you I get not an iota of your attention  I am the ultimate parasite destroying my host yet right now unseen As you go about life go about your daily scheduled routine  Hiding myself from even your slightest perception  I begin my glorious but hideous deception Growing and expanding through perfect mutation  Yet still there is no hint that would give saviours detection  Symptoms (where felt) seem small my current plan insignificance So your life it continues completely missing my malevolence But I am worse than that nightmare in your darkest of nights  As once I’m discovered I’ll be here when you turn on the lights Day upon day via stupendous mutation I grow in exponential Sensing something’s amiss you visit specialist centre medical Tests & inspections finally words drip my detection slowly into your ears  Results have confirmed & your'e destroyed but I just scoff at your tears  From now on I will be described by many different biological names  But monikers matter not to me my conclusion is almost always the same  Glossy leaflets and fancy helplines tell you how best to survive  Communicating computed statistical chances of you staying alive  Doctors & surgeons sit describing in impassive monotone How grotesquely big inside you I have surprisingly grown Caught soon survivals chances are good but now balanced fine But what use is that to you now you can’t go back in time  All choices now Hobson’s but hurry you’ve got no time for contemplative hesitation  Numb with shock you somehow agree it’s chemo and surgical extraction In theatres made of real life nightmares deep chemical sleep is created As you fall into the darkness for a few seconds your whole life is contemplated Then in go the scalpels & scissors got to move fast, got to get it quick But at their well intentioned slashing & cutting I play my cruelest trick  Before they opened you up I was all in one place almost self restricted  Now released from my jail I’m off an adventurous journey unpredicted  No matter where I started there’s now no holding me back  So cell by cell, organ by organ your entire body I start my attack When you finally wake from darkest nightmares laying prone on hospital bed Tubes in your arms, pipes up you’re nose multiple monitors on your head  Semi conscious the prognosis like Armageddon hangs over you pending Have they kept me at bay or is it sorry, we failed, so your’s a slow painful ending   Through a barely conscious mind you grasp some minuscule understanding The blurred smiling faces of loved ones conveying hopeful meaning As the drugs take you back into the darkness you thank God for the relief Lifelong atheist, strange that you’ve chosen deaths door finally to belief  Yet even now in what appears the cure now in the moments of muted celebrations  I still rule, I still win because I’m not really done I’m just in my blissful remission Your body may have survived my assault and for you more living years earned  But your mind I will now torture you as every minute of every day you will fear my return  I am the Cruelest of Cs The oft whispered C word I am Cancer but You can call me C _ _ t

[in-my-thinking]

“glimpses”

glimpses of pleasure glimpses of pain we get glimpses of life until only glimpses remain

glimpses of yesterday glimpses of tomorrow happiness a paltry glimpse wish the same of sorrow

glimpses of adrenaline glimpses of the insane wish the rush was more than a glimpse staring daily at the mundane

glimpses of life glimpses of death everything a tiny glimpse until our very last breath

glimpses of the future glimpses of the past life is but a fleeting glimpse yet death forever lasts

I see a glimpse of you you see a glimpse of me is love to be the merest glimpse or will it forever be

[in-my-thinking]

And they think artificial intelligence is a big threat to the world

I say lack of human intelligence has already ruined the world

#

[in-my-thinking]

Venison Wellington with roast & fondant potatoes, red wine gravy, veg and a big yorkie 😋👍

[in-my-thinking]

as more words

unfurl

I realise they’ll never change

the world

yet isn’t their

resonance

better than just accepting

silence?

[in-my-thinking]

“grass stains and grazed knees”

grass stains and grazed knees rope swings hanging on trees meeting mates early in the park no tea for us as we’re out ‘til well after dark sliding down dry grass on cardboard sheet morning paper round bought weekly treats Friday night table tennis at the youth club Saturday left with crisps & pop at door of the pub river paddling and catching crayfish hiding behind trees stealing a kiss summer in the hay barns hoping farmer don’t see climbing into gardens to raid apple trees arguing and fighting with elder siblings thorny bush scratches and nettle stings catching frogs and newts in local brook night time ritual of Dr Zeuss books Cat in the Hat Green Eggs and Ham sitting on shop doorways playing kick the can making bows & arrows for cowboys & Indians summer bike rides taking pillions camping out in neighbours back yard getting caught smoking mom’s hand was hard lads playing football and picking your side pooh sticks and piggy back rides day trips to seaside on a charabanc making a bogie from planks & an old pram rope swings hanging on trees grass stains and grazed knees