inkdroptea

[inkdroptea]

there is a pinboard in my mind with notes and strings to connect everything and make sense of who I am

give reason to why am the way I am

the strings stretch outwards and leave the pinboard and I am left with more questions than answers

why can't I figure it out

I should know! I should know myself and yet I don't

[inkdroptea]

Does anyone else forget they have have people that care for you?

Nope? Just me? oh okay cool

[inkdroptea]

I should have a cat

I think a cat would improve my life by very much

[inkdroptea]

uhmmmmm Yep procrastination

[inkdroptea]

idk how

idk why

but my D12 dice found its way into my underwear drawer for some reason

[inkdroptea]

PATTERNS PATTERNS PATTERNSSS

there are flipping patterns everywhere around us there is pattern most social group follows and why does it seem I always broke the pattern in some way ... ending up with me finding a huge gap where I can't relate to and just looking like a doofus who missed ou on the most important class to pass the year

the pattern could be flawless but it broke and now we'll now it is less of a pattern or simply a pattern with a flaw

[inkdroptea]

If the life I am living were fiction and I were just some character in it

I think some people would wait for the episode, the chapter, the part where I finally crash out

[inkdroptea]

I'd like to rip of that name tag that is supposedly me and change it for something else

there are so many nametags on the floor, scattered across, some even teared beyond recognition

[inkdroptea]

how do I escape it

how do I escape the Internet, the need to keep myself busy with a phone

how do I return back to watching random movies or audio books I found at the local library

how do I go back to being able to read a boom I hold between both my hands way past my bed time

how do I go draw whatever comes my mind and look back at it all and think yeah i have been productive

how do I escape this Web the world has created to pull the world down and make it forget about the real world and real people

[inkdroptea]

a visual adaptation of this word collage i made from 2020-2023

[inkdroptea]

staring at my ricecooker

me: I don't think you know what your purpose is

[inkdroptea]

sits out in the cold

but freezing

fingers painfully cold

and this fool still drinks an ice cold energy

[inkdroptea]

I have free will, depression AND STRAWBERRIES

[inkdroptea]

sometimes I'd like to imagine people/fandoms taking some of my random thoughts and assigning them characters and such ...

honestly that be life goals

[inkdroptea]

sometimes it is easier to look at yourself as if you were a fictional character ngl

[inkdroptea]

Who taught you that the world works like this?

you know it's untrue yet you latch onto those 'rules' as if they were the golden law

[inkdroptea]

A part of me likes being in college and school for the reason that there is a reason for me to be there and meet with my friends

cause I know without it, it just be too easy for me to slip away