izder456 - Tumblr blog

[izder456]

If a nonbinary person shows the slightest hint of masculnity they get shoved in the boy box, where they will be hated either for being a "trans man" or a "cis man invading queer/trans spaces" based on their (assumed) agab. And then if a nonbinary person shows the slightest hint of femininity they get shoved in the girl box, where they will be hated either for being a "trans woman" or a "cis woman invading queer/trans spaces" based on their (assumed) agab. And if a nonbinary person never ever shows any hints of femininity or masculinity, they are hated anyway and people demand they pick a box to be sorted into.

[izder456]

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Incredibly lazy and casual attempt at barely edited and impromptu OpenBSD gaming seshs from yours truly.

Join me, as i take on some:

weird gaming

on a weird system

running on a weird laptop that looks exactly like the iPod you had as a kid, probably.

and NO im not gonna improve my mic quality.

i bought a laptop, i am going to use it, and every crappy piezo mic it might come with, whether you like it or not. laptop mic FTW. :3

This is the OttoMatic Port I have been working on.

my ports are here, currently working on getting bugdom and bugdom2 in the openbsd ports tree. see ports@ for progress there.

[izder456]

Why “no politics” as a rule causes more issues than it solves.

(an opinion piece)

wait, isn’t this a good thing?

no- not necessarily.

the basic expectation in any community is that you should respect people first and foremost.

political or politicized, if you’re being a dick, you are being a dick.

but what about how politics can get hostile?

if you want “no politics” you need to clearly state, no politics. which fwiw, is also a completely vague concept.

now- if someone is being an asshole, “politics” aside, they are just being an asshole. any preconceptions about moderators, admins, etc, do not apply.

thus, administrative roles can not be, and are not except from this.

so, the alternative?

instead of being vague about “no politics” or simply not saying it, you need to dig deep into why these perceivably “political” things, create such a hostile atmosphere.

hint: it’s not the topic, its how people handle them.

what the hell does that mean?

since a good portion of modern “politics” stems from reactionary politics to politicized topics, all that it takes for a topic to be “bad” or “controversial” is that someone declared that they dislike the topic itself.

it’s never about “politics”. its about how much people are willing to ignore/neglect actual issues that can present themselves in a community thats largely apolitical.

this excuses bigoted actions, since when someone contests the bigoted action, it is brought up in a reactionary way.

which- unto itself appears political. but in actuality, its just something that was mistaken as such.

when a community tries to go “no politics”, they conversely get more political, and silence any level of personal responsibility for respecting others.

TL;DR: “no politics” won’t solve hostilities in a community, but rather makes the discussion of hostilities nearly impossible.

[izder456]

so, i did a thing

http://bsd-hardware.info/?probe=45836fafc3

this termcast was taken before i got emacs up, but i even managed to clone, build, export, and even host my neocity *locally*

all on the java 17 jvm backend with single-channel 1gb lpddr2 ram, and a 1.5GHz non-PAE single core pentium mobile cpu

termcast

now- thats 1337.

i forked some random guys suckless surf browser patch for the sole purpose of debugging/developing on this pentiumtatotop, so i don’t even need to rely on links anymore

look at these wonderful screenshots:

doom emacs, running a cider repl on the jvm, and viewing said website hosted via a single-thread ring server on suckless surf.

get this: its still surprisingly responsive considering the erm *hardware*.

since stumpwm isn’t in the i386 ports, i had to compile it from source.

the sbcl implementation on i386 openbsd assumes that you won’t use threading, but stumpwm wants threading to be available.

easy fix: slightly patch stumpwm to get it to build & run on a sbcl implementation without threading, but it was as easy as clobbering the macro for sbthread in a new lisp file, and loading that file into core.lisp:

(cl:in-package :sb-thread) (defun make-thread (function &key &allow-other-keys) (funcall function) (values))

mfw i literally started learning lisp 4 months ago, and i still manage to get into seek out insane endeavors like this.:

[izder456]

Why “legalizing” is actually not as simple as it seems.

(a brief opinion piece)

i try not to argue that addictions aren’t possible with THC and other Cannabinoids.

this is unhelpful in the long run. we shouldn’t lie to ourselves here, anything not normally produced/consumed for living should be considered as a potentially harmful chemical. this includes food, but more importantly, intoxicants in all forms.

however, objectively speaking, all intoxicants remain potentially dangerous and/or harmful for the user so long as the education around them is stigmatized from normalcy.

we are pleasure seeking primates, and unfortunately that makes a “simple high” much more complicated to tackle, especially since the negative impact that could have on the user’s social environment.

as of right now- in the US, a vast majority of drug related deaths are due to just alcohol, not heroin, not coke, not amphetamines. just alcohol.

if we are going to legalize anything that’s potentially dangerous we seriously need to have protections in place for the users of said substances so they don’t become harmful (ab)users.

I say:

legalize everything for any use-case

Tax the shit out of them

Use said taxed revenue for building infrastructure for education of, and rehabilitation/recovery programs, as well as prevention programs that don’t alienate the user.

I feel this is a win-win scenario, but a lot of mutual agreement must be met first. which is asking for a lot in the current clownshow that is the US political landscape.

[izder456]

Still Here, Still Genderqueer! is Out Now!

Still Here, Still Genderqueer! is a zine about the author's decade of living as a genderqueer person who came out in 2011, how it was living as an "other" gendered person in the 2010s, being forced into binary cis-passing transition, coming back around to love being genderqueer all over again, and why the term genderqueer is important. This a 28 page digital zine in the form of a PDF download!

Purchasing a copy supports a disabled genderqueer lesbian who is currently in the middle of escaping unsafe housing and potentially facing homelessness. Every copy purchased is appreciated. Reblogging this post and sharing our Ko-Fi also helps more than you know, we appreciate your support no matter what!

[izder456]

“the road to hell is paved with good intentions”

even though the immediate “danger” isn’t obvious, it’s unrealistic to weigh importance on immediate threats with minor consequences more, than to completely ignore prospective threats with extreme consequences.

chomsky is right.

History will hate us all, be “us” conservatives for fighting reality and science at the expense of future habitability of the planet, and all the rest who didn’t take sufficient measures to stop the atrocity being committed. We’re all riding the bomb thats being signed by our demise.

the bomb is signed by our demise, with love.

no one seems to question the bomb because it was signed with good intentions.

its a matter of feelings, not outcomes.

so i realize that the video could be construed as a defense of democrats, but i don’t think that’s what Chomsky’s point was.

to be fair chomsky’s argument can be easily applied to them as well.

no-one should defend bureaucratic distractions when human lives are on the line.

one could argue that the very distraction that a bureaucracy thrives on affects democrats, just as much as it affects republicans.

by arguing both sides of the coin, you are enabling those people who don’t care what side they are on, as long as they remain the sole arbiter of authority.

albeit- his specific mention of republicans, means currently the most dangerous organization is them, not that the democrats are completely perfect.

right now, the republicans, are the core reason so many problems persist, and the immediately obvious alternative is only marginally better.

soz for the rant, just wanted to get my thoughts out.

KThankZBye!

[izder456]

Imagine being so blissfully ignorant of lack of consideration for the worker. /s

wow.

Lmao.

[izder456]

i saw this fast inverse sqrt function somewhere online, and it fascinated me to no end. (the left is the fast inverse, and the right is the `math.h` impl)

`main()` is just some crappy test suite i whipped up for testing purposes

the code in question was made for quake III arena’s gameengine.

here’s a video that explains it pretty well:

i was thinking, how would i achieve the same level of elegance, but in the context of lisp?

my notes (probably not super accurate, but probably still interesting to see how my brain tackled this):

thinking lisp brain here:

i came across this stack-exchange question:

i can treat the array as a sequence of nibbles (four bits), or a “half-byte”, and use the emergent patterns from that with the linear algebra algorithm in this post.

we can predict patterns emerging consistently, cos i can assume a certain degree of rounding into the bitshifted `long`. because of that, each nibble can have its own “name” assigned. in the quake impl, thats the `long i;` and `float y;`

instead of thinking about it as two halves of a byte to bitshift to achieve division, i can process both concurrently with a single array, and potentially gain a teeny bit of precision without sacrificing on speed.

i could treat this as 2x4 array.

each column would be a nibble, and each row would be 2 bits wide. so basically its just two nibbles put next to eachother so the full array would add up to one-byte.

the code is already sorta written for me in a way.

i just need a read-eval loop that runs over everything.

idk if it’s faster, if anything it’ll probably be slower, but it’s so fucky of an idea it might just work.

a crapshoot may be terrible but you can’t be sure of that if ya never attempt.

[izder456]

i notice little parity things with openbsd and gentoo linux that most people probably won’t notice, but they bother me to no end.

for example, in my stumpwm config:

^this is what i hackily wrote for gentoo instead of just:

^on openbsd

things like this, as well as automating use flags and whatever are why i often get frustrated with my own work.

managing something like that with this level of consistency is difficult enough already.

these get the format of data the exact same between linux and openbsd

`XX.Y degC` (with truncated digits)

my attention to detail is both a blessing and a curse tbh.

[izder456]

there, i fixed it.

whenever my program freezes

[izder456]

updated my homepage

(now has sicc gifs, and even more gaudy web design)

[izder456]

A long ramble of how much i appreciate semantics as an autistic person.

i was talking to a friend of mine, and she asked me how i was feeling.

i said, i can try capturing it in a spotify playlist maybe?

my friend’s name is [redacted], and i named the playlist like this:

the title "comijo sondecir, [redacted]" in my wordsmithery love can be approximately deciphered as:

"As I say, I express with sound, [redacted]."

(note: “express with sound”, and “say”, are a grammatical amalgam of how one’s expression is with music and the verb “to say”. essentially: the way one would “say” with the meaning of the expression via sound embedded grammatically. this is only an approximate meaning.)

i take into account the meaning of "comijo" as "as I" (formed from "como" meaning "as" and "yo" meaning "I") and "sondecir" as "express with sound" (formed as a chimaera of "sound" and "decir" meaning "to say" or "to express").

heres a montague grammar approach:

λx. (λy. (comijo(x) ∧ sondecir(x))) ([redacted])

Breaking it down:

λx represents the subject of the sentence, corresponding to "I" or "como yo" in the sentence.

λy represents an intermediate variable or placeholder, capturing the referential "as" or "like" component of the sentence.

"comijo(x)" represents the characteristic of being like or as, with the action applied where x is the subject.

"sondecir(x)" represents the action of expressing with sound, where x is the subject.

([redacted]) indicates that the subject of the sentence is the proper noun “[redacted]”.

i fxcking love semantics.

with an understanding of semantics at its core fundamentals- i can express myself in ways i would not have had the way to describe things with traditional semantics.

i love how my convoluted vibe-based thoughts, can by explicitly written with no context lost.

i love that.

it gives an avenue to properly explore my person with language i never had.

its like i unlocked a core function of myself that i would not have been aware of without my aspiration to learn more.

and the obligatory playlist link:

[izder456]

So- I just wrote this stupid short story:

Once upon a time, in the vast expanse of the digital ocean, there lived a pufferfish named Puffy. Puffy wasn't your ordinary fish, mind you. No, he had a sharp wit and a keen eye for detail, particularly when it came to scrutinizing the code that floated around him.

Puffy resided in a cozy coral reef, surrounded by an eclectic group of marine creatures. There were lobsters who lobbed bugs at each other, turtles who inched along at a snail's pace, and even a few curious octopuses with tentacles that seemed to be tangled in a never-ending spaghetti of code.

But Puffy had had enough. He puffed up with frustration every time he encountered yet another poorly written line of code. The sheer incompetence of his aquatic comrades was enough to make any fish lose their gills. So, Puffy hatched up a plan to make things right.

One starry night, as the moon illuminated the sea, Puffy assembled all the sea creatures and shared his ambitious vision. He proclaimed, "Enough is enough! It's time to rewrite the tides of coding history. Together, we shall embark on a mission to create the most secure and robust operating system ever known!"

The lobsters clicked their claws in agreement, the turtles nodded their heads ever so slightly, and the octopuses waved their tentacles in support. The underwater symphony of determination echoed through the reef.

Puffy, being the pufferfish of action that he was, started organizing coding sessions. They worked tirelessly, debugging and refining, their fins gliding across keyboards with a finesse that would make even the slickest fisherman jealous.

The group named their masterpiece "OpenBSD," a nod to the ocean's vast openness and the security they sought to provide. Puffy envisioned a world where software vulnerabilities were as rare as a fish with wings. It was a utopian dream, beautifully encrypted in lines of elegant code.

As the reef dwellers tirelessly continued their mission, the story took an unexpected turn. Just when it seemed like Puffy and his cohorts were about to unveil their miraculous creation to the world, a colossal wave crashed upon their reef, obliterating everything in its path.

The ending? Well, my friend, that's where the shaggy dog comes to play. This story purposely leaves you hanging, with no resolution or plot buildup being resolved. But hey, who needs closure when you can swim in a sea of laughter, right?

So remember, dear reader, the tale of Puffy the pufferfish who dared to challenge the coding status quo. And although we may never know the fate of OpenBSD or the outcome of their noble quest, we can always appreciate the humor and wordplay that swim through the depths of tech folklore. Stay loopy!

[izder456]

Let’s discuss the anthropologic and sociologic aspects of transness

(an opinion piece)

there are burial sites in Mesopotamia of transfem and transmascs that got traditionally buried like their gender identity and with the respect a priest or priestess would have gotten.

trans people always have existed- and it seems to be that they were also revered with a lot of respect in their communities. so much so- they were considered spiritual people/beings.

okay- so this is interesting because the history of “transness” seems to go back many millennia. while i cannot recall any specific instances of this occurring between then and now, i find this fascinating. if all of those trans folk are long deceased, and effectively erased, why do trans people still exist and don’t carry the same reverence that they once did historically? so much so- that trans folk are historically more susceptible to discrimination and violence.

“transness” is about as new as left handedness.

the phenomena always existed- just societal pressures make the expression of those who are trans less obvious to non-trans folk.

before someone makes the “it’s basic biology” argument, remember that biological factors do not affect social relationships at all.

If you see people reduced to their genitalia, you are part of the problem- but i can’t seriously think anyone actually does this.

It’s funny cos the “It’s never been a thing when I was a kid” argument is inherently ignorant and blind.

the people saying this have probably not been exposed in their personal childhood- but it would be silly to conclude that the phenomenon does not exist.

if this is a recurrent pattern in sociological human history- thats not worth dismissing as a “trend”.

It’s worth studying. The recurring pattern of transness is enough of a reason to learn more about the social conditions that both lead to, and preserve trans human’s existence in society.

Its especially interesting because trans circles stay alive- despite human-on-human killing making every effort for trans folk especially difficult, but trans communities persist.

perhaps a darwinian fitness explanation could help tackle that.

here’s a more “modern” metaphor:

color televisions are a fairly recent technology all things considered. there are still people alive where “it’s never been a thing when they were a kid”.

you wouldn’t argue color televisions don’t exist simply because some people didn’t have them or experience them as a kid, right?

the fundamental physical and chemical properties needed to produce color television existed before the invention took place.

it is not magical- It’s a manipulation of things that already existed.

the technology behind color television is definitely possible.

however- this is not a perfect analogy.

unlike an invention- trans people have never been “invented”, just societally oppressed outside the ignorant’s worldview. and thus, these subjects of intellectual study have been smothered from significant research.

(ik this isn’t formatted very well. its more of a flow of consciousness for me.)

[izder456]

— Strong Female Character, Fern Brady

One date asked me when I’d first come out to my parents and I panicked that if I told the truth I’d have failed some gay authenticity test. This feeling is recurrent in autistics. If you’ve ever started school midway through the school year or been the new person at work and felt lost – it’s that feeling. Except you never just pick up on stuff or fall in line eventually; it’s a constant sense that everyone is in a WhatsApp group you don’t know about.

[izder456]

hello- hardened ff user here.

you may enjoy this easy flowchart.

I tried using brave browser for a week but I can not in good faith use a browser which thinks it's a good idea to spam you with web3 ads using push notifications in exchange for 0.0001 made up money.