johnwalkerwaow

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bob: has anyone tried making edibles without weed? Like, virgin edibles or something?

John: ...you mean fucking food?

[johnwalkerwaow]

Yelena: my therapist keeps asking about my sister. Like girl why do you care so much? Did you have a crush on her?

[johnwalkerwaow]

Ava: Yelena got arrested in Malaysia

Bucky: what? Why?

Ava: because she's an idiot

Bob: they can do that?

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bob: hey. Are you crying?

John, clearly upset: I'm not crying! I'm- fucking doing my face muscle exercises. I'm exercising the muscles in my face, making my face more... muscular. Your face is skinny as shit, I can tell you don't do these exercises for your face. Some of them look like crying. They're not crying.

Bob: well, can you maybe teach them to me?

John: no!

[johnwalkerwaow]

Yelena: *skips to the end of the movie* I don't have time for their problems

[johnwalkerwaow]

John: *sneezes*

Yelena: oh my god Walker just dabbed

John: no I didn't, I have allergies

John: *tries to hold it in*

Yelena: ooh he's gonna do it again

Bob: hit it, Walker

[johnwalkerwaow]

Yelena: time for plan G

John: don't you mean plan B?

Yelena: no, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties

Bucky: what about plan D?

Yelena: plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago

Bob: what about plan E?

Yelena: I'm hoping to avoid it. Walker dies in plan E

Ava: I like plan E

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bucky: why aren't you helping?

John: because I can think of better ways of wasting my time. Like trying to eat my own face

Bucky: you wanna know what I think?

John: more than anything I have ever wanted in this miserable life

[johnwalkerwaow]

Ava: you can control white people by giving them cheese

Yelena: cheese is so good though

Ava: I got one

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bucky: don't get into the car with me if you're gonna scream every time we crash

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bob, peeling a banana: may I take your jacket lol

John: do you think we can't hear you

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bucky: care for another sundae, weenie?

Yelena: I am not a weenie!

Bob: relax, you’re among friends *raises his drink*

Yelena: my friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jr’s

Alexei: you tell ‘em, Lena

Yelena: Dad? What are you doing here?

Alexei: I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays

[johnwalkerwaow]

Ava: look, I have no interest in you other than your ability to fight with us. Just because you're handsome doesn't mean you're not a piece-of-shit murderer

John: you think I'm handsome?

Ava: oh my god, please fuck off

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bob: you wanna see how hardcore I am?

Bob: *punches a wall*

Bob: take me to a doctor

[johnwalkerwaow]

Sam, visiting the New Avengers headquarters: so what do you guys do for fun?

Bucky: well, it's different for everyone. I like to listen to music, Bob likes to draw. Yelena likes to annoy Walker, Ava likes to help Yelena annoy Walker, Alexei likes to annoy Yelena and Walker at the same time...

Bucky: come to think of it, I like to annoy Walker too

Sam, nodding: I see now. The key to happiness is annoying Walker

[johnwalkerwaow]

Yelena: okay, I have good news and bad news

John: bad news first

Yelena: the dog peed in the kitchen

John: we don't have a dog

Yelena: which brings us to the good news

[johnwalkerwaow]

Ava: seeing a mysterious portal open in the woods and just walking by. Not my business