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joy-luvs-star · 7 months ago

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I rewrote one of my writings from around February :3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a revamp, obviously. but it's in the bsd fandom and it has oc x character, and poly relationships.

TW: Mentions of su!c!d3, sh, trauma (If I missed smth let me know)

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Pale.

Had she always been this pale? And the scars.... she couldn't bear to look at herself. As she glanced in the mirror, all she saw was a poor, pitiful woman. Why couldn't she just do anything useful with her life?

Fresh blood oozed from the new scars scattered on her wrists. They hurt like hell... but felt so good. Her eyes welled with tears as she looked away from the mirror, she regretted her choice yet couldn't take it back. How mad would her partners be? Would they even love her anymore? Maybe she shouldn't.... no. She made a promise.... if she had any of... those. thoughts. She'd not act on them... but.....

A loud knock on the door interrupted her thoughts as she jumped and looked up at the door. After a few seconds, the door opened, and Dazai stood in the doorway looking at her. She panicked trying to hide her arms, but it was no use, he'd already seen.

"Oh honey, what have you done...? What's the matter....?" He made his way into the room, shutting the door behind himself. He took the few steps towards his girlfriend and took her face into his hands. He gently brushed the tears away. "Don't cry.... tell me what's wrong.."

Silence.

She looked away but didn't pull back from his touch as more tears streamed down her face.

He sighed and kissed her forehead. "C'mon, my love... let's get you cleaned up.."

She let him lead her to the bathroom, as they entered, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Matted, greasy hair... she really needed to take care of that. Her face glistening where her tears streamed down her face.... god she looked like a mess. Her makeup was ruined now... and her clothes... she wasn't wearing her usual style, just something simple. A sweatshirt and some pants, very unlike herself.

Dazai sat her down on the toilet and then rustled through a cabinet for a first-aid kit. She stayed silent still, only almost silent, shaky breaths as she cried still, her gaze wandered down to her arms. She loved the pain so much from the cuts.. it made her... feel alive. Others might think, "How could she do that to herself?" but they don't understand. Not like she does, they don't live her life.

Dazai finally found the first-aid kit and glanced over at her. "...Do you want me to go get Chuuya or Al..?"

She looked up at him, squeezing her hands together as she gave a slight nod. Dazai nodded back and left to go get their partners.

A few minutes later, all three of them returned, Dazai going back to getting things to clean her wrists. Chuuya and Alastor, however... they rushed to her side, and Chuuya gently grabbed her arms to look at the damage she caused herself. Alastor, on the other hand, looked at her, "Are you okay, hun...?"

She tilted her head up to look at him and just nodded slightly. "I'm sorry.... it's just--"

She was then interrupted by him, "No no...! It's okay... I just... was wondering... how you're doing right now...."

They both stared at each other somewhat awkwardly, they both knew the real answer to that question. She hadn't eaten a true meal in days, she couldn't help that sometimes she repulsed food.... and her sleeping habits, well. She can't have anything said to her about those.

Alastor stepped back as Dazai came over with some wet rags to clean her arms, he silently worked. However now Chuuya was the one to ask questions.

"You didn't... have any thoughts did you...?" He waited a few seconds for a reply, a no he was hoping. Yet when nothing came his heart sank because he knew the answer, here she was sitting looking at him with such dull eyes. Where had her spark gone.. she wouldn't... actually right? Chuuya looked away and sighed. "Look baby... we love you... but you have to talk to us.... please.."

She looked at him with a fresh wave of tears in her eyes. "I-I'm sorry.... I'm... really sorry... Chuuya... Star... Dazai.... I'm sorry..."

Dazai smiled softly as he had finished cleaning the wounds and had moved on to bandaging them. "You have no reason to be sorry just.... we'll work on communication."

"None of you guys can be talking." Alastor spoke up from his position watching.

"Well neither can you." Dazai replied as he finished bandaging her arms. "There, all better. Now we match."

She wiped her face and looked at her three partners. "Thank you.... a lot...."

"Now let's get you something to eat."

LET ME KNOW HOW YOU LIKED IT/nf

ALSO DOES ANYONE WANT HER LORE???/j

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joy-luvs-star · 7 months ago

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A short story I wrote forever ago ft my oc Joy!!

She stood there staring at herself in the mirror. What had become of her? She was never like this before what happened? As she looked at herself she was so different her beautiful black hair was chopped off and unkempt. Her face.. it had lost its radiant glow and she just looked.. tired. So much had changed on the outside, yet on the inside.. She was nothing different, just putting on a poker face acting like everything was okay. In reality nothing was different nothing changed, she was still the same old pitiful self. She had pushed everyone away, even him. She knew he was worried shitless about her but she didn’t care she couldn’t even care about herself... All she could think about was how fucked up she was, and how she hadn’t cared for herself in weeks. He’d come by trying to check on her almost everyday until he just.. stopped. Like he’d given up on her, like everyone else in her life. Especially her family.

#oc #oc work #writing #writing prompt #oc insert

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