justcurlygirlthings

[justcurlygirlthings]

first hot tea of the year and a fleece sweater, pj pants and breath hovering in the air

fall is reaching for me with gentle fingers

[justcurlygirlthings]

gave me chills

[justcurlygirlthings]

gym moments #1

so i am sitting on the stationary bike, just finishing off my workout and these two guys come in and in the old room, the wardrobe was right by the cardio section so they put their stuff into the boxes and one of them STARTS CHANGING his pants right in front of my eyes.

i couldn't help but grin. like. dude was right in my line of vision what was i supposed to do?

anyways, he was really quick about it but his friend caught me looking, whoops

[justcurlygirlthings]

september book recap

this month's reads:

funny you should ask (2/5)

sapiens: a brief history of humankind (4/5)

the subtle art of not giving a f*ck (4/5)

boyfriend material (4/5)

husband material (3/5)

pick me girls (4/5)

maybe in another life (5/5)

that makes 52 books read out of the 60 i am planning on reading :))

currently reading: breaking the habit of being yourself AND carry me like water

my thoughts on it: taylor jenkins reid is a goddess and i hope nothing but the greatest things come to her. i DEVOURED those books like wow. wow. (literally same opinion as last month, every book i read of her only strengthens my opinion)

husband material was a kind of unneeded sequel, another example for the neverending tale of creators not knowing when to end, yet it was kind of endearing

[justcurlygirlthings]

[justcurlygirlthings]

do you ever think about how many people you fall in love with just a little bit every day?

strangers on the train like the girl with the nose ring and the woman with the scarf or the guy with his daughter or all the students with their purses and backpacks and the mom's with their strollers and you just look at them and wonder where they are going and where they came from and by what chance they sit right over there at the same time you do

[justcurlygirlthings]

all i want to do is read and sleep and eat a bit of chocolate and make pretty women smile back at me on the sidewalk

[justcurlygirlthings]

september 28th 2023

we have spent monday through thursday (today) on the beach and will continue to do so until saturday when we will pack up all of our things and leave here to go back home sunday morning

i have been soaking up all the sun i can and my white as hell skin actually hasn't burned but tinted the slightest bit brown plus the trillion freckles i get in my face, my arms and my shoulders (snapchat informed me that one year ago i got out my winter blanket, today i wore a bikini)

my beach activities today:

emma chamberlain's new podcast episode

audiobook: breaking the habit of being yourself

audiobook: i'm glad my mom died

ebook: carry me like water (benjamin alire saenz, loml)

i have finally listened to all the podcast 'build up' i had in my podcas playlist aka all the podcasts i couldn't listen to because i was studying

very happy and relaxed

xo

[justcurlygirlthings]

crazy how sometimes u dance alone to your favorite song in your bedroom and you are like oh yeah thats why im alive

[justcurlygirlthings]

rwrb + text dynamics

[justcurlygirlthings]

reflection

i am currently listening to the audiobook of a german satirist and feminist. the book is called 'pick me girls' and it is discussing becoming and bein a woman, with personal anecdotes and general observations made in a western society. both this and a podcast i listened to a few months ago are making me refelct upon the life i am trying to build

i am right in your pinterest girlie, meditation, yoga, gym girl type corner that loves her stuff aesthetic, has a trademark color and, decreasingly subconscious, is trying to be different. better. what am i using as means of comparison? the women around me

and now the aforementioned media make me wonder if the content i consume in this world, in this society, is all but preparing me to be perfectly curated, through my own doing, to be subject to and of a man

i know that that is only half true because a) i currently really can not imagine a relationship with a man therefore that's out of the questions and b) the habits and practices i am applying are science-based and therefore i am only doing my best to show up for myself

yet, it makes me reflect my thoughts, my patterns, my behavior and it makes me want to become more myself without conforming subconsciously :)

xo

[justcurlygirlthings]

ootd #4

a bikini. what better thing is there

black top and bottom

[justcurlygirlthings]

literally every time my best friend is late for our 10am sunday walk even though she lived right next door

[justcurlygirlthings]

I don't know; I kind of think that our culture is based around systematic denial of human limitations. I mean, there's the eight-hour work day (which is about 4 hours longer than most people are consistently able to remain productive); buffing your qualifications on job applications (which everyone needs to do to some extent, because everyone else is doing it); the expectation of multitasking, even though it's not really possible; academics are running around with impostor syndrome, ultimately because there's only so many books that an individual is capable of reading, while a bunch of liars and grifters pretend that they're experts at *everything* and are held up as thought leaders. Billionaires are held up as if they're just incredibly hard workers, photoshopped movie stars held up as if they're just incredibly beautiful. We feel guilty for not being something that never has and can never exist.

[justcurlygirlthings]

energy

today i woke up and it felt like this

like a phone only charged at 40% but you need it all day but it's also in french, you have to run a half-marathon while on a zoom group meeting and by 1pm you run on low power mode

i walked 17k steps today and visited a quite pretty castle and city. yet, i am seeing all of it through the filter of the relatively worst depressive episode i've had since 2019. i can take all of it in but there is no movement in my voice and no expression on my face. i am proud of myself for doing all of it, i am giving myself grace for having managed today. i never have to do today again.

there were a lot of homeless people there today (carcassonne) and it made me feel grateful to be able to fill my stomach and sleep in a bed. yet, i struggled and i am not at a great point. yet, how i am feeling is valid and this greyness will fade away to be colorful again

good night

[justcurlygirlthings]

sex education season 4

first episode down and getting ready to watch a couple more, i am so so hyped. i am excited where they are taking it!! i am not sold on maeve and otis really working idk man

[justcurlygirlthings]

ootd #3

black leggings, pale orange american eagle shirt with 'kindness' floral print, grey birkenstocks