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kayfeefgtrghh · 2 years ago

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Connor (RK800) x shy reader

Did I just write 2984 words? Maybe…

Body image is talked about here as well as other topics that might be sensitive. Read at your own accord. Also, apologies since this is the first fanfic I’ve written in over 10 years. The last 5 years I’ve spent writing university papers. If it’s not the best I’m sorry!

*Reader is addressed as ‘little girl’ and has long hair.

*Does include swear words but I’ve tried to censor them a little.

“Hank the paperwork is due today… And-“ His head tilts “detective? Your temperature is very high. Are you sick?” Putting his hand to my forehead. Throat dry, I try to speak but nothing comes out and stare at Connor, red in the face. Glancing to a friend hoping he can help but Hank just looks back at his screen. Great. I’m on my own. Well. “Yes” squeaks out before you feel a shoulder bump into my back. Sharp breathe in. Turning to make eye contact with Derrik Fedpilzt. He got off on me being quiet. Said I make a shit cop. Too fat, not smart enough, too slow, can’t keep my “female” emotions out of work. Looking down, surprised he kept quiet. I apologise before getting back to my desk. 2 close calls in one day was enough. Writing this report is such a waste of time. Its not like it’s real. I saw it. That deviant was protecting a child… It didn’t deserve to die. Email? Shit. Should I say something to Hank? No. No. I can’t be weak. I can do this. I can’t drag others into my own problems.

‘Don’t think I didn’t figure you out. Meet me in the carpark at 8pm tonight.’ – DF

I need to take my mind off of this. “Heyyyy Hank. Is that seat free?” pointing to his lap. He had such a priceless face before shaking his head mumbling, something about kids these days, under his breathe. Making me giggle. “Okay, but really, I’m going for coffee if you want some?”

“Yeah, Connor should be back soon.”

“Ahh I just meant the-‘

“Lieutenant. Detective.” Connor starts to which I just avoid his gaze and nod to my title. “My apologise for interrupting the conversation.”

“No worries, Connor.” Hank straightens his back, “we’re all heading for coffee.” Connor simply nods in reply to his partner. I try catching Hank’s eye but he just smirks.

-------------*Time skip to coffee shop*---------------

“Soy latte please.” Cringing at how quiet my voice just came out.

“Yes. I-I couldn’t pass up fireworks. It’s nostalgic. What about you both?” Hoping to get away from the spotlight. Hank finally feeling nice speaks up,

“Sorry can you repeat that for me please” the Barista inquires politely. "Soy latte. Thank you.” Connor interjects for me. All I can do is nod and smile shyly to the server while paying. Sliding into a booth opposite Hank. Connor right after me. Oh. My. God. I can feel his body so close to mine. Keep it together (y/n)! Fingers pulling my coat closer self-consciously. “I heard there is going to be ice festival with fire works tonight. Will you be going Detective?”

“Nah. Kid wants to go so maybe you could go together. Me and Sumo are watching sport, drinking, and sleeping at midnight.” Well… there goes him helping you.

“Ahhhh. No. I mean yes!. I’m- I- I… I just remembered I have a meeting soon, sorry. I’ll see you both around? I’ll meet you outside the office at say… 9pm?” Turning on my tail before they can speak.

---------------*Time skip to car park*-----------------

Skin going cold and fingertips numb, from the cold and the fact Derrik brought friends. I feel a hand around the back of my neck. “You know, if you weren’t so fat maybe I wouldn’t have bumped into you.” Coming into my face, I lean back instinctively. “Or maybe if you were smart, I would have seen you resign. Save the rest of us time picking up your slack. Which judging by your size is a lot,” erupting with laughter from his own comment. “You must have slept your way up with older guys because how else would sone with such a pathetic track record get in. You can’t write reports properly, can’t shoot because you think that what? Androids can have feelings. Ohh look at me I’m so desperate to be loved I’ll turn to something that can’t say no. Isn’t that right?” Not letting me speak, “you don’t deserve this job title, the badge, hell to live! You’re worthless. Undeserving, fat, ugly, stupid. Is there ANY good quality about you? No. Just kill yourself already to stop burdening others. This time, me and my buddies are gonna teach you a lesson on behaving like a good little girl.” Pulled back and shoved into a pillar. There’s laughter, I can hear it, but it blurs for a minute. Shit I feel something wet drip into my eyelashes. Hold the tears. Confront. Come on. “Hey! I said I was sorry. Why are you doing this?”

“Because,” another guy steps closer, “we don’t respect people like you. Spiting on my face. It had been bad before but never physical. He raises his hand and I turn to flip him over my shoulder. Thump. “You fc*king bit*h!” he wheezes out. Every muscle in my body feels like stone. He swipes my leg from under me as the others make a circle shouting “fight! Fight!”

“Wai-“ he straddles my legs. Hands instantly on my neck. Not like this. Please. Kicking, I try twist my hips. Gasping in air as I grip his wrists. “Enough Jake.” Another voice calls. The man above me lets go, standing and brushing off his jacket. Huffing. Before kicking my stomach and going off. The rest leave laughing and shaking their head with, “you showed her.” Coughing and feeling the air come back to me I push onto my arms. Shit! It’s 8:55! Connor. Legs shaking I push up and head up to the girls bathroom. The stairs make me feel so heavy. I can’t stop thinking about his words. He was right. I do burden others. I can’t drive. I have one of the lowest success rates. Am I really that unlovable? Do I just empathise with deviants because I see the hate in them as similar to the way people treat me?... Elbowing the door open I can help but say “shit” out loud looking at my reflection. Bloodshot eyes, since when have I been crying? And my neck. Jesus. How was I going to hide this from Connor?! But if I cancel, he’ll try ask why and I can’t lie to him. I pull the collar up and undo my hair. Lucky I’ve let it grow. Using it as a disguise I head out. “I’m sorry to keep you, had to talk to some colleagues from the lower floor before we left. Are you ready?” I feel him looking right through me. He wants to say something, but his LED goes yellow before red then back to yellow, “Yes detective.”

------------*Time skip to the ice festival*--------------

“SOOO beautiful!” I’m so thankful the weather is cooler outside to excuse me covering my neck so much and accommodating for my slower gate. My ribs really hurt now. But it was worth it. The snow glistened with the colourful lights. Children running around, giggling, as they have snowball fights. It was like a movie scene come true. The city really outdid themselves this year. I love winter. To be on the couch near my window watching the slow gently fall. Hot chocolate in hand and a nice, weighted blanket. Cozy. Safe.

I can feel eyes on me and look up to see Connor smiling, “I’ve never seen you look so childlike Detective.” I know it’s supposed to be an observation. I can’t help it. Thinking of it as an insult. A reminder I need to grow up. “Thanks.” Looking down at my feet. ‘Worthless… stop burdening others. He’s right.

“Ahh hey. How- How about going on the Ferris wheel? I can pay. My treat for driving.” He nods and we walk in silence. It’s eating away at me. “Hey. Connor? Do you have any fun facts on snow or winter? Festivals? I know Hank tells you to be quiet,” looking down blushing,” but I love when you talk all about things. He sprouts facts like, “the Sapporo Snow Festival started in 1950…” It was nice. His voice. His face. Errgh! I have such a bad crush on him. How couldn’t you? He’s smart, sweet, understanding, patient, fast, strong, and such a gentleman. I can’t help but stare. The light freckles sprinkled over his face. The piece of hair loose and flipping around in the elements. The small snowflakes sticking to his perfect brown hair. Those beautiful eyes I could get lost I for days. I’ve never felt this way about someone. Growing up focused on studies and work. Now for the first time, I look at someone and want to marry. To have children. To do domestic things with Connor. Have him look at me the way I look at him. Love struck as Hank put it. “Snow itself is just precipitation in the form of ice crystals. It originates in clouds when temperatures are below freezing point. It is currently 17.6 degrees Fahrenheit or minus 8 Celsius….” Putting up 2 fingers and paying for the tickets as he ramble on. Side track about drinks for winter festivals in different countries. “For example, in Japan, the initial festival I mentioned, they would drink something called Amazake. Dating back over 1,30 years. It comprises of rice fermented using aspergillus oryzae. The same fungus in natto. Its literally translation is sweet sake and has been described as a mellow sweet flavour…”

We step into the capsule and start our assent. Once we reached the top the breeze was beautiful. I had to take photos. To put on my wall. I lent forward, enjoying the breeze flow through the gaps and focus outside. Not noticing the silence from my companion. “It’s so beautiful don’t you think? I don’t normally like crowds but to see people enjoying themselves like this. It’s nice and the snow is always so- Connor?” His LED is red and I freeze. Following his line of sight. Blushing, I rush to cover the bruises, but he grabs my wrists. With the better lighting he’s seen it. The bruises. Does he think I’m weak. For a officer to get hurt so easily? He says my name sternly and my eyes flick between him and the floor. Jaw tensing and I can’t seem to swallow enough to take a breath. I rub my arm absently at the tense air between us. “Connor I can explain.” He just stares and helps me out before dragging me past the maze. We keep walking. His LED changing between red and yellow. His grips loosens and tightens as the snow crunches beneath us. It would be a nice sound if it weren’t for the anxiety.

He continues to lead me onto a path with no one around, under a streetlight, before turning to face me. Trying to catch a breath he doesn’t need. He just stares. “Connor?” It’s soft. But I know he hears. “Please. You’re starting to scare me.”

“Who?! Who did that to you?!” Flinching. Was he... mad? He’s an android, he shouldn’t react this way. “Are you deviating?” I whisper shout leaning in despite my fear. He’d never hurt me, right? His brows twitch and he tilts his head. Before his LED stays red. Stepping closer. “This isn’t about me (y/n). Who. Hurt. You. Names.” Now, as he stepped closer with each word, he’s less than a meter from me. I step back and avoid his gaze. “Why?”

“I want to protect you. Keep you safe and I can’t do that if you keep me out.”

“No. Why do you care? I’m just another human. Replaceable. Less intelligent. Less capable, so why do you pretend to care Connor? Because you feel you have to? Did Hank tell you to say those things to me? “I feel my eyes burn and voice break. “Maybe I should go home I’m sorry and end up dashing off as a ground walk past.

-------------------*Time skip*--------------------------

I’ve been avoiding Connor for almost a month now. I was so close to confessing. Or breaking down. Either way I can feel his gaze burn into me and the questioning looks when I just turn and walk away or leave a half-made coffee when he goes to make one for Hank. Speaking of Hank tried to ask about what happened but now I’m avoiding them both. Everyone. Today is the day. I look up, eyes set on Fowler. I get up and knock on his door. “Come in.” Walking into his office reminds me of this nature documentary show I watches where the deer ventured right into the lion’s den. Keep calm. He eventually looks up from my silence and awkwardly standing around. “Sit. What do you want?”

“I quit.” There it was. Those 2 little words. “This is my 2 weeks’ notice sir. I wish to ask if I can stay in the office for my last week. To finish up my reports.” He looks shocked but it quickly morphs back into a scowl. “Fine.” I nod before leaving. I did it. Letting the air out my nose I head back to my desk and put headphones on and begin typing. The day continues like this. Quiet. Efficient. Lonely. It’s what I deserve.

--------------*Time skip to the last day*---------------

Alcohol. Mans real best friend. Sure, dogs make me happy, but they don’t help you numb out life. The dread of not being able to get enough job. The feeling of worthlessness. Alcohol though. A miracle. Especially 10 drinks in. I don’t even know at this point if my thoughts make sense let alone the out loud stuff. Hang onnnnn. I know that hair. “Hannnnnnk! I shout and stumble my way to him. By himself thankfully. I smother him in a hug, and he just shoves me off. “God. I’m so sorry. I’m a shitty friend Hank. I mean… oh oh omg that dog is so cute!” Seeing a golden retriever walk past.

“What have you been ignoring me What happened between you and Connor?”

“Hmmm. I love him, Hank. Not that I don’t love you too but not in that way” giggling,” it’s just. I had a run in and some guys at the precinct beat me up so-“

“What?! When?!” He goes to stand, and I shove his shoulders to push him back into his seat.

“SHHHHH! Hank, I don’t know where I was up to now. Anyway, long story short. Perfect android, Ferris Wheel, found my bruised neck, Unrequited love, I got scared and listened to the voice in my head.” Nodding. “Wait no. Not like that. I meant the things the people said about me. They were right. That’s why today was my last day. I quit. I couldn’t stand to look at you. I know you’d be disappointed and Connor. Fu*k Hank, I’d kill for him. Do anything he asked. But we both know that’s stupid. He dese- derggkrves… ,” pausing and squinting as the word doesn’t come out right, “deserves someone better. He’s PERFECT and look at me.” Flinging my arms out and hitting someone in the face. “Oh” covering my mouth and turning. “I’m so sorry!!”

“Detective.”

“Connor… I- I want you to know what happened at the festival… me avoiding you. Wasn’t your fault.” His LED is rotating yellow still. He then hooks his arm with mine.

“You are intoxicated. I will wait to have this conversation with you tomorrow. I will take you home.” I pout and lean into his body. Giggling before shoving my nose into his chest and breathing in harshly before confessing, “you smell amazing.”

-----------*Time skip to next morning*----------------

“Owww my head.” Tripping as I tangle into my bedsheets. Faceplanting. Sighing I just lay there face down for a while. Remembering what I said last night. How much did he hear of my confession to Hank? “Detective. You are finally up. It is currently 1:39pm.” I stiffen. Looking up at the android like a dear caught in head lights. “I will cook breakfast while you clean up and then we can talk.”

“I remember you mentioning to Hank you like pancakes.” They look so unbelievably good.

“Thank you, Connor. For everything. I really am sorry.”

“I accept your apology. As to begin our discussion I would like to start with the most defining aspect. That you confessed your feelings for me last night to Hank, did you not?” At this I choke on my food. Coughing and red in the face.

“Yess.. Well- I did. But you don’t have to-“

“I like you too. More than as a friend. You were correct I have become deviant and these feelings these last months have been difficult. However, after talking to Hank he said it was love. It explains my rash and inappropriate reaction to your bruising and the reason I still feel angry now when thinking about it. “

“It was Derrik Fedpilzt and his friends. I tried to fend one off by flipping him onto his back. So, he chocked me. I was scared that you’d judge me. For not being able to defend myself. “

“Like I said before I want to take care of you and protect you. There has never been a time when I thought you were weak. Or flawed in any way for that matter.” He puts hind hand on the table between us. I look up before timidly reaching to place mine across the table too. He moves to cover mine and smiles that dorky smile. Realising I am finished he gets up to do the dishes, but I block him.

“Why don’t we cuddle on the couch for a while? I can do them later.” LED yellow to blue. Putting my plate on the sink before grabbing a blanket. Sitting on my old couch, snow just outside. This was perfect. I look up at him admiring the view and kiss his cheek. Maybe I deserve love after all.

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