keanathanharker

[keanathanharker]

2 weeks and you'll feel it

4 weeks and you'll see it

8 weeks and you'll hear it

[keanathanharker]

yes god. i have a specific blorbo i project so many of my issues onto, food/body issues being a huge one

Does anyone else push their eating disorders onto their favourite characters? Like if I gotta suffer like that then my silly cutie patootie also has to, writing stupid ass fanfiction in my notes projecting my problems onto them is like the only thing keeping me sane rn 💀

[keanathanharker]

one thing i will say since going into this round of restriction thats really helped is planning my meals and cals out. last time i didnt do that and have evidence in front of my face that i was eating okay i purged allllll the time bc id panic with no idea what i just put into my body. now i can like. budget for getting boba w friends and go to bed knowing i didnt overeat. i still panic and worry obvi but i havent had any of those true pits of ‘oh god what have i even done to myself’ fears. ive also had a lot of success avoiding binge trigger foods but successfully budgeting for Personal Faves for the most part

[keanathanharker]

meal plan for tomorrow so i can feel better 

breakfast total: 190 cal coffee w/ sugar free syrup and splash of skim milk: 30 cal chia pudding: 160 cal lunch: 55 arugula salad with feta and strawberries: 85 calories 1 pkg tuna: 70

dinner:  140

spiced roast eggplant: 139

snacks: 180

skinny pop mini bag (80) 4 prunes: 100

total: 654

[keanathanharker]

maybe i should just stop talking. i want all of my secrets back.

[keanathanharker]

god. i feel so guilty and like im not trying hard enough to lose weight. i’m eating under 1k daily (only exception was my cousins wedding) but i still feel like its too much, esp when i even budget for and make room for cookies and shit that i only eat for pleasure, they give me nothing. like if i hadnt eaten that cookie, my 950 day could have been an 800 day and thats STILL not as little as some of yall do. i didnt start already skinny either so im never gonna get there

[keanathanharker]

[keanathanharker]

Model: @thevampirevegan Photographer @hxlytrvp 🖤 For a possible feature please follow us and use tag 🌟 #eventide_phantasie 🌟 🖤 On this profile we share beautiful art connected with #gothic, #fairytale, #alternative and #fantasy. Creators of each artwork are credited in its description. ➡️All credit goes to the rightful owner⬅️ 🖤 #fineartphotography #fairytale #mysticalphotography #fashionphotography #instaphoto #instaphotography #goth #photooftheday #gothgirl #photoshoot #fantasycosplay #cosplay #instagood #fineart #gothgoth #vampireprince #vampire #redeyeshadow #romanticgoth #straightedge #vampiregoth #romanticism #interviewwiththevampire #boyswithlonghair #christiangoth https://www.instagram.com/p/Bui7PHfH3CT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1c88sqg8srvtv

[keanathanharker]

Black Goths Exist and Representation matters.

Photo Credit : Willis Gilliard

[keanathanharker]

The Red Nymph (1900), Plinio Nomellini / Standard Bitter Love Song #7, The Mountain Goats

[keanathanharker]

I need to use this blog again. I’m gonna. Do that.

I think i’ll make it a little broader though. Anything eerie, weird, creepy, some personal aesthetic stuff. maybe weird history.

I also might let my emo side and my goth side mingle a little

[keanathanharker]

[keanathanharker]

[keanathanharker]

I may never recover from finding out today that Winona Ryder married Keanu Reeves while filming in Romania in 1992 and legit does not know if it was legally binding or not,,, 25 years later and she’s just like lol idk

I BEG YOUR PARDON

[keanathanharker]

get you a girl who can do both

[keanathanharker]

A friend tagged me on Facebook. This is accurate.

[keanathanharker]

The Addams Family (1991)