kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Maybe I’d get romance more if people didn’t talk about it like a myth.

“You’ll know it when you find it❤️”

Is it a sword? Are we talking about Excalibur because it sure sounds like we’re talking about Excalibur.

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

The second part should say "Aromantics don't need to be fixed and shouldn't have to deal with the romantic feelings others may have on them."

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Requested by ace1diots

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Starting off small: friendship isn’t inherently romantic

Getting bigger: living together isn’t inherently romantic

Even bigger: going on dates isn’t inherently romantic

Getting larger again: kissing isn’t inherently romantic

Oh my god is this too big: having sex isn’t inherently romantic

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Ah, a number of us would call that a gray-ace, but demi is also a good choice for sporadic attraction.

not aromantic or asexual but a secret third thing where I experience both of those kinds of attraction but rarely act on them and kinda think they're stupid as concepts

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Joker from Persona 5 is aroace!

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Seeing this post and realising “yeah that’s why people stay closeted because people just don’t understand” - https://www.tumblr.com/our-ace-experience/773647070940790784/hi-there-fellow-asexuals-and-other-tumblr-users

- 🤍

I skimmed this post, and I've talked about the issues Aros and Aces feel inside the queer communities.

It's important for all other queer people to apply the standards they want applied to themselves to aces and aros. Mainly, that what they do in their relationships and lives isn't anyone's business. And guess what, what we do in our lives isn't anyone's business even other queer people. You have no right to tell an ace, an aro, or an aroace, that what they do in their lives invalidates their identity.

These kinds of posts ingrain fear and reluctance of people who are aromantic and/or asexual that they will be "caught" doing something that doesn't align with their identity. It creates fear in their lives and relationships, or out and out denial of their sexual and romantic orientations.

Thanks for the ask anon, and thanks for the opportunity to remind aces/aros that what they do is their business and doesn't affect their orientation, and that queer people don't get to tell us how to live our lives.

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

I love (sarcasm) the genre of aro and/or ace posts here when someone goes like "those guys who are not like me have all the representation" and then those guys go like "huh, it is You who has all the rep"

and the truth is that we all just have pretty minimal amount of rep, especially in more mainstream stuff

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Heartstopper (which I haven't seen) is about a teen romance and is sad? I think.

The Magnus Archives is one of the best fiction podcasts ever released and the main character is an asexual (canonical). I will say that he is referenced to have been in a relationship that ends with them friends, and he does end the show in a relationship, but both are/were based on good friendships. It is in the horror genre, not fantasy, horror. Highly, highly recommend if you like horror.

I love it when people make lists recommending media with canon ace and/or aro characters, but don't really tell you what the media is about, or even what genre it is. Then you end up with stuff like The Magnus Archives next to Heartstopper. I dont believe those works are similar

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Just so we're all on the same page, if we want to get rid of compulsory heterosexuality we also have to get rid of compulsory sexuality and amatonormativity because compulsory heterosexuality is a subset of them ok thank you <2

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Little to no, includes the no.

When people like me make posts saying that aces and aros can be in relationships and have sex, it's to support the members of our community that do.

To validate all a-spec lives. Not to discredit those that don't.

Because plenty, and I do mean PLENTY of aces don't have sex (me included) and plenty of aros don't have relationships.

I feel the phrase “Aro/Ace people can still date/have sex” has just morphed into a new version of “you just haven’t found the right person yet.”

Yes we can. But it’s our call if we do. And it’s certainly not gonna be with anyone who tries to use the fluidity of our experiences as a clap back to break firmly set boundaries.

And that fluidity doesn’t make sexual/romantic repulsion that some of us experience any less true or valid.

I’ve never had sex and I never will. The sheer concept of it viscerally disgusts me.

I’ve never experienced any form of sexual attraction and know at this point i likely never will. I have zero framework for it when people talk about it. It confuses me.

“Little to no romantic/sexual attraction” has a no in it for a reason. Because aro/ace people who don’t experience sexual/romantic attraction at all regardless of circumstance are in fact real.

Other ace people have different experiences. They’re allowed to. Their experiences aren’t mine or anyone else’s to make. Nor are mine theirs.

Sexualities are complicated and often fluid sure. But one thing they’re not is negotiable.

Ace peoples boundaries are ours to make and yours to respect. No ifs or buts. You don’t get a say in it.

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Actually! I have suggestions.

A. Visit your local pride groups where you can meet like minded people, and be honest about the kind of relationship you want

B. In online dating apps where you set your interest by location, you can set what kind of relationship you want and your sexuality

C. Chat with your friends IRL and mention your interest in a queer platonic relationship and say that you're open to being set up. You'd be surprised the connections they might have.

Where does one find someone to queer-platonically date in the outer-net, y’all are here, where else are you guys?

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again;

YES 👏 ARO/ACE 👏 PEOPLE 👏 EXIST 👏 ON 👏 A 👏 SPECTRUM 👏 BUT 👏 YOU 👏 ARE 👏 STILL 👏 ERASING 👏 OUR 👏 TINY 👏 BITS 👏 OF 👏 REPERSENTATION 👏 BY 👏 USING 👏 THAT 👏 AS 👏 AN 👏 EXCUSE 👏 TO 👏 SHIP 👏 AROACESPEC 👏 CHARACTERS 👏

IF YOU WANT TO SHIP SOMETHING THAT BAD QPRS EXIST

LEARN ABOUT A NEW RELATIONSHIP TYPE OR JUST STOP SHIPPING ARO/ACESPECS FUCKHEADS

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Allos can choose not to have sex.

Allos can choose to be single.

Allos don't need romantic or sexual relationships.

Allos can choose to prioritize their other relationships.

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

A reminder that many aromantic people will never be in a relationship, want a relationship, have ever been in a relationship or will consider a relationship.

There are no situations where they will ever want to be in a relationship. There are no "i was like that until I met me partner!"

They don't want it, they don't need it and they're allowed to do whatever the fuck they want.

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

Reminder that many aces don't want or will ever want sex.

I am asexual and do not want sex with anyone. Period. End of sentence. I do not owe you a qualifier about "These Are Only My Experiences They Are Not Universal Other People Vary." That disclaimer is included for Free by virtue of We Are Talking About Identity, Which Is Deeply Personal And Varies For Everyone

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

happy pride month