kiindr - Tumblr blog

[kiindr]

really praying i qualify for my dream school. it’s kind of hopeless at this point but im still willing to give it a chance. my score might fall a little short but a girl can hope for a miracle. i’ll update u <3

[kiindr]

Your page and pinned post caught my attention. I noticed you used the word empathize rather than sympathize. And your statement of creating the blog as proof someone cares....that you care about others. It's easy to become jaded. So many seek advantage or personal gain. I would prefer not to allow past experiences with others to cloud my judgement. If you are true to how you present yourself...and understanding sharing the feelings of those in distress can sometimes be overwhelming especially if you are inclined towards empathy; then allow me to simply give a positive message to you. Thank you. You say you care...about others ...about strangers....about those you have not met. One might ask, how could you really care about someone you don't even know? But that is what makes unconditional love such a beautiful concept. To care and love and give freely without expectation. And if this concept has meaning for you...then accept it in return with understanding. I know you not, but I care about you. If for any reason you doubt my words, then your words become meaningless as well. Better I accept your words are true. That you truly care for this stranger, and this stranger also cares about you.

thank you for going through my blog so carefully and paying attention to the exact vocabulary i have used. all of it has been highly intentional so i’m glad someone noticed :)

i understand the skepticism some people might have when it comes to believing my claims that i really care about people’s well-being even if i don’t know them. that’s alright. i’m willing to be patient and let them have their time in coming around to this fact. and even if they don’t, it’s okay. i can’t control how others think, behave, or feel. i can only control what i do. and i don’t need other people’s validation in order to believe the credibility of my own work (although it’s nice to have).

in the meantime, i want to continue putting out the content that i do, which thankfully, i’ve been told, some people find helpful and that makes me happy. a lot of people also like the little study posts that i do and the snippets of my life as a psychology student that i post. all of it brings the readers of my blog and myself equal joy.

it would be a lie if i said that im doing it all solely for others. i’m not. being on this blog, interacting with people here, writing posts for it, clicking pictures for it, etc. it’s just as therapeutic for me as it can be for other people.

in sum, i’m grateful to have the opportunity to do what i do, to make what little difference i can, and it makes me happy to see that there are more kind, empathetic strangers who believe in the same cause as me!

[kiindr]

your therapist is not there to tell you what to do or fix your life. this is because you are the expert on your life and someone else “advising” you about how to live it can go horribly wrong. no one knows you or your situation better than yourself.

however, your therapist is there to be with you and help you navigate your issues in a way that is beneficial and not maladaptive.

[kiindr]

always remember this about anxiety-

it climbs up, reaches a peak, and then comes down.

it doesn't last forever even though in the moment it might feel like it does. you're going to be okay. please take care of yourself.

[kiindr]

”I know nobody cares but I finally cleaned my room after a whi-“ ME!!!! I CARE!!!!!!!!! I CARE SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE AMAZING!!! KEEP GOING!!!!!!!! IM PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kiindr]

My experience with being mentally ill and having a bad day isn't like, "Oh fuck, a bunch of unusually bad shit happened to me today and now I'm in crisis."

It's like, "Oh fuck, some completely normal shit happened today but for some reason I am dysregulated, outside my window of tolerance, and unable to apply my usual coping skills to deal with these completely normal daily issues so now I'm in fucking crisis because I can't find my pen."

[kiindr]

You're valid if other people's reactions to you being vulnerable and opening up about your abuse was more harmful than the abuse itself.

[kiindr]

I am so very sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I just want to know;

Have you remembered to hydrate yourself today?

Have you eaten something?

Have you remembered to forgive yourself for all of your past mistakes?

Have you remembered to take breaks throughout the day?

Have you listened to your body’s needs?

If you have done any of these things, then I am very proud of you. If you haven’t done any of these things, I am still very proud of you. I know how hard you are trying. Some days are just… rough. It can take alot of energy to do “basic” things such as drinking water, eating and so on.

However, please try to do atleast some of the things, which are listed above. Eating a little something and/or drinking something is a HUGE step! You deserve to give yourself forgiveness for your past mistakes. You deserve to heal and recover 100%!

Thank you so much for your time, you can now continue your scrolling! ♡

[kiindr]

the process of both finding and applying for internships in Psychology is so fucking exhausting it's insane. and then there's the issue of quacks and scams trying to make it all infinitely harder. i know all of this is part of the process for the goals that i have but boy is it taking every ounce of resilience within me

[kiindr]

reminder that my askbox is always open if you want to let anything out. share your sorrows and joys alike. we welcome it all in this house <3

[kiindr]

our thoughts have the power to affect the way we feel and consequently, the way we behave. it’s important to not blindly believe everything that we think. please try backing any negative thoughts you might be having with valid evidence of why or why not it may be true. seek a mental health professional for help if you find yourself unable to do this on your own.

please take care of yourself :)

[kiindr]

Therapist Red Flags

Therapy is important and can be really helpful, but not all therapists are good at their job. Here’s a few things to look out for when you’re seeing a therapist:

Not listening to what you tell them

Ignoring confidentiality (except in emergencies)

Making you feel judged or ashamed

Ignoring or trivialising your needs

Consistently being late

Making fun of your needs / accomplishments

Being judgemental or critical of you

Not taking your feedback on sessions into account

Condescending facial expressions or body language

Ignoring what you want to do / accomplish in therapy

Talking too much about themselves

Making you feel like problems are all your fault

Being insensitive to your culture or religion

They’re making you feel bad about yourself

Using the phone or getting distracted during your sessions

Attempting to make romantic / sexual advances on you

Making you feel stupid or invalid for what you say or how you feel

Forgetting important details about you / your life

Pushing you too hard before you’re ready

You wondering if their behaviour is a red flag. If you’re looking it up then chances are you already feel uncomfortable in therapy. You should never be forced into seeing a therapist who makes you feel uneasy. There’s no shame in leaving and finding a different therapist.

[kiindr]

when you keep yourself small all the time (swallowing the words you want to say, seeing everybody else as though they’re automatically above you, downplaying your feelings and achievements), the entire world will constantly be looming over you. that’s not the way to live your life. you’re supposed to be experiencing it, not be subjected to it. (this is your sign to take up more space)

[kiindr]

how to make someone feel heard (a small guide by a psychology major) :

make appropriate eye contact

give them space to talk

"go on"

nod

paraphrase what has just been said

ask questions if you're unsure about something they've said

do not make the conversation about yourself

self-disclose when necessary

validate their feelings

"I'm listening"

"That makes sense to me"

summarize things you've talked about and ask them to fill in things you might have missed

these are just some of the many many things you can do. i'll post more if this is helpful!

[kiindr]

why do people think saying “I would kill myself if I was you” is cool or edgy or interesting or something. it’s fucking pathetic and annoying

[kiindr]

Pass it on 💛

You deserve to hear any and all of the ones you need and I hope you take them and hear them, but pick the one that spoke to you most today.

[kiindr]

i want one of those war tunics ancient romans had so i could go write my exams. a battle requires a battle outfit.