lastnightswritings - Tumblr blog

[lastnightswritings]

“It ends or it doesn’t. That’s what you say. That’s how you get through it. The tunnel, the night, the pain, the love. It ends or it doesn’t. If the sun never comes up, you find a way to live without it. If they don’t come back, you sleep in the middle of the bed, learn how to make enough coffee for yourself alone. Adapt. Adjust. It ends or it doesn’t. It ends or it doesn’t. We do not perish.”

— Caitlyn Siehl, It Ends or it Doesn’t

[lastnightswritings]

[lastnightswritings]

“The strongest people have a past filled with chaos, heart break and disappointment.”

— r.h. Sin

[lastnightswritings]

[lastnightswritings]

[lastnightswritings]

[lastnightswritings]

[lastnightswritings]

Please no.

I know so in my heart but I just want us back.

But I know so. That you moved on. And if you didn't, please just come back to me and we will talk and work it out or work out a new reality.

I miss you.

I also changed but those feelings for you didn't, no matter how hard I tried to bury them. Bury you.

[lastnightswritings]

Not this.

[lastnightswritings]

[lastnightswritings]

[lastnightswritings]

And even though I typed this out to you and deleted it, unsend so you wouldn't see it,

I'm still putting it out there by putting it here.

---

Thank you.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you for how you made me feel.

Thank you for all of it, but also just thank you for being there.

Thank you for listening and literally picking up the pieces when I was falling apart that night in June because I told you what happened to me years before.

Thank you for giving me all the right responses of support and love and just being there as I told you what was one of the worst periods of my life.

Thank you for not leaving me alone, for after all of it, somehow, after you comforted me, we ended up laughing at a stupid joke and we were , I was not that upset anymore. Then you sent me to sleep with murmurs and thoughts of sleepy cuddles, already taking my worries and hurt from me as if you were lifting a strand of hair from me, pulling them away from me as if saying that doesn't belong there. Because the self-hate I had for myself was still present because I hated myself so much years before and yet you, and my sister slowly took it away.

You made all the difference. To me. To my pain. To my hurt

Because of you, I am able to sleep soundly tonight after doing the start of my tell-all of this trauma in therapy.

Thankful for you.

Buenas noches, cariño.

Te quiero.

[lastnightswritings]

when taylor swift said "i've got a hundred thrown out speeches i almost said to you" and when lana del rey said "there's things i wanna say to you but i'll just let you live" and when harry styles said "comfortable silence is so overrated. why won't you be the first one to say? even my phone misses your call" and when louis tomlinson said "i can't get inside when you're lost in your pride but you don't have a thing to prove" and when phoebe bridgers said "and i can wish all that i want, but it won't bring us together plus i know whatever happens to me, i know it's for the better" and when ed sheeran said "it's so hard to say it but i've been here before, now I'll surrender up my heart and swap it for yours" and when niall horan said "if honesty means telling you the truth, then i'm still in love with you"

[lastnightswritings]

[lastnightswritings]

I'll wait

And keep waiting.

It's only until I know that my heart will know how to feel.

Either way, whatever you tell me, it's going to hurt.

I wasn't wrong in thinking that. It's going to hurt and this time it will be different because you're not leaving me. You're coming back.

I know you're going to break my heart all over again with whatever you say. But I'm here. I'm your heart to break, just like the song.

I just hope that in the pieces of my heart. Somehow you can pick them up and hold them up to your heart and realized you have a whole heart with me.

[lastnightswritings]

The lack of respect was the closure. The lack of apology was the closure. The lack of care was the closure. The lack of accountability was the closure. The lack of honesty was the closure.

[lastnightswritings]

“Repeat after me: My current situation is not my final destination.”

— Unknown