leaderlamby - Tumblr blog

[leaderlamby]

Barnaby just got here and already causing problems smh

[leaderlamby]

LMAO I WAS CONFUSED ABT WHAT PAST ME WAS TALKING ABT HERE

THAT WAS BEFORE I FOUND OUT IM CAINE

HELLO ANONYMOUS CIRCUS KIN MEMBER <3

BELOVED FOLLOWERS, PLEASE BRING TADC FICTIONKIN TO ME

OUR WORLDS MUST COLLIDE

[leaderlamby]

SCREAMINGGGG MY GLOW IN THE DARK BARNABY FINALLY CAME IN, IM SO HAPPY

yes I did instantly go around taking pictures

[leaderlamby]

So I'm sure other people have said this same thing, but-

Imagine being sad, so you take antidepressants, but it just makes your mood worse and fucks up your mental schedule because you weren't depressed and took the wrong treatment

Then you take your experience and use it to try to get rid of all medication and treatments for actual depressed people because you "know what it's like" and it "doesn't help anything"

That's what it looks like to me when detransitioners become anti-trans activists.

[leaderlamby]

TW: Depression

Ran out of meds a little bit ago, so I made another vent drawing of unfiltered depression

[leaderlamby]

HA imagine someone pretending to be me

Sorry bestie, the God of Death supports healthy coping mechanisms <3

TW: Kinks, p*dophilia and inc*st and r*pe as kinks, unspecified trauma mentions, long post

So, we definitely need to talk about kinks. There's so much people still don't understand about the concept. People are naturally quick to judge, everyone is, and unfortunately, many people judge others based off of what they're into, a lot of the time, without even understanding their own reasons for judging.

First of all, a kink does not reflect who you are as a person. It CAN, but they are not mutually exclusive. It's okay to be into taboo concepts. It's normal, even. Someone may be turned on by a rape fantasy, but they absolutely most likely will not want to actually *be* raped. This goes for other kinks. Being into incest fantasies is not the same as actually wanting to copulate with a family member. Being into pedophilic fantasies is not the same as wanting a child in that way. There's a difference between fantasy and reality. Especially if these fantasies are strictly between fictional characters.

"It doesn't matter if it's fantasy, it's still-" no, it DOES matter. As I said, huge difference between fiction and reality.

Secondly, don't assume someone having any of those things as a kink means that's who they are. It's more than likely a result of them being victim to those scenarios. Engaging in harmless activities like writing about it can actually be a very valid and healing coping mechanism. I'm not just speaking for myself, I've met other people who heal this way. Do not assume you know why someone is the way they are. They don't owe you an explanation on anything, especially not their trauma and the way they're affected by it.

Now, does everyone have to be okay with reading stories with incest or rape or pedophilia? No, of course not, it's perfectly fine to be uncomfortable by that... which is why you should simply not read them.

AO3 has a wonderful tagging system that allows people to be well forewarned about what a story is about. If there's something in the tags you don't like? Don't fucking read it. Don't click on it to see how "bad" you think it is, don't harass the creator in the comments, just ignore it.

In conclusion, people who write taboo porn aren't bad people and aren't necessarily advocating for the subject. They could be coping with their own trauma. If you don't like that, don't engage with it.

[leaderlamby]

So it's actually a perfectly normal and fairly common thing for those with predator kintypes, such as myself, to feel a certain fascination with wanting to gore other animals

...And my friends convinced me I was wrong for it and "of fucking course no one is gonna feel safe around you"

I'm genuinely so pissed and frustrated I was letting someone control me and I didn't even realise

[leaderlamby]

EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE AUTISTIC AXOLOTL 🩷

[leaderlamby]

TW: Rant/Long post

Alright so I've been thinking a lot about something and I just need to get it off my chest

No, nothing happened, I just need to vent a bit

So it's come to my attention recently that I have low social awareness, probably the autism

And because of that, I really tend to speak before I think. Even when typing and there's no pressure to respond immediately and I have all the time in the world to formulate my message so it comes off the way I mean

But sometimes I say things and I just don't realise they could be rude until someone points it out

A while ago when I was still in high school, I unintentionally made fun of my friend with tourette's

And that guy was just way too nice to correct me- not that I blame him, I get it can be a tough thing to do, especially irl

But I did genuinely care about him. Eventually after educating myself on TS, I did slowly start correcting myself, like simply ignoring his tics instead of trying to make them funny like an idiot (unless it was like excessive and I asked if he was okay)

And history has been sort of repeating itself in my discord server. It's not like I'm saying anything horrendous, but they weren't very nice things either

Unintentionally insulting one of my friends and their system, saying something to another friend that could come off as dismissive and disingenuous

And now I have a friend who will call me out if I do something like that, and they have, which is why im making this "social awareness" realisation now

The amount of shame I feel when they do (not that I'm upset at them for it, a huge part of this rant is how thankful I am they help me correct myself) - it's a really shitty feeling and I can never apologise enough.

THAT is how people learn. That is how I'm learning right now. Like I said, I have no idea these things are rude when I say them, so this is definitely teaching me to, one, be more educated on some topics and two, slow down a bit with what I say

Ever since I started this server as a public thing, I wanted it to be a safe space, especially now when I've gotten so close to these people

I would hate to be the person who takes that feeling of safety away

I still somehow feel like I'm not getting my point across well enough- this is not a pity thing for me, I don't wanna hear any "Oh its okay"- this is just me needing to vent abt these feelings and wanting to acknowledge how insensitive I am sometimes

It's not a public apology either, none of this stuff is public matter, I just cannot express how upset I am with myself for being the kind of person I hate - insensitive and non understanding

And when it comes to my friends, I ALWAYS want to understand, I ALWAYS want to learn. I always want to be someone they can talk to about their problems and not worry about how I might respond

I just love my friends so much, yknow? So indescribably much, which is why I'm making such an effort to not slip and say shit that could hurt them

Still doesn't feel like I explained this well enough but whatever

[leaderlamby]

Full list of my fictotypes bc I'm really bored:

^ Lamb (Cult of the Lamb)

^ Blitz (Helluva Boss)

^ Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel)

^ Scrimshaw (Billie Bust Up)

^ Bonnie the Bunny (Five Nights at Freddy's)

[leaderlamby]

HHHHH FINALLY MADE SOME ART FOR @kovox

not that good but like

[leaderlamby]

"Everyone is always pro mental health until someone has ugly symptoms"

That's honestly such a good fucking point

The amount of times I was so depressed that no amount of reassurance was helping and the person just gave up in the end -

The amount of times people have laughed at me for having an intense reaction to loud noises -

The amount of times I was told by my own parent to deal with a phobia myself -

You really find out how much people actually give a shit about you when you're mentally ill

Yes, no one is OBLIGATED to help you with your mental problems,

But you don't get to claim to be pro mental health and then just give up on someone when you're faced with more than trigger warnings on a tiktok account

You don't get to judge someone for things they cannot control, like mental disorder symptoms, and you don't get to brush off their serious issues like they're just being dramatic

People forget that just telling someone like me that everything is going to be fine doesn't fucking help anything

Sorry this is out of nowhere, that quote has been in my head since I read it-

Invites to the discord are paused.

I'm sorry, but due to the actions of a recently banned member, the server is going to be age restricted and closed off for a while until we're sure it's safe.

Lucifer Morningstar/Narinder (limuluspolyphemus on tumblr) decided that me not wanting to participate in conversations about war in Palestine makes me a "racist piece of shit" and a "shitty human being".

He had multiple other people engaging in the conversation with him and decided to single me out specifically for not being there.

I chose not to get into the conversations because I know nothing of the topic and have nothing to contribute, and it makes me uncomfortable talking about an ongoing war.

But that was simply unacceptable for this person, so he personally insulted me (and even implied another member is stupid for defending me).

He also had apologised yesterday and recognised his wrongdoing, which I was happy about, but still didn't want to let him back. Same day, I find an ask submitted by him at @hazkin-server asking very rudely to have his "fucking name taken off the introductory" because he "wanted nothing to do with any of us, especially after what he found out about me".

So, now he's definitely not coming back. All bans will be permanent. The server is now 18+ ONLY, since it's evident a 14 year old doesn't have the maturity to remain respectful when things don't go his way. Invites to the server are paused until everyone involved calms down and is no longer paranoid that any new member is there on Lucifer's behalf.

Apologies.

[leaderlamby]

Hey,

So now that minors can’t interact with you, I don’t want to unfollow you, but not want to make you uncomfortable by leaving your Cult.

Is that okay?

I mean I don't really care if they just follow me or like my content

Also it's not minors in general, it's people below 16

But if you feel like leaving is the best decision, I won't be upset by it /gen

[leaderlamby]

No worries here, great leader! It has just been quite a moment. A minute. A time. Has passed. Hopefully I'll be able to pop in a bit more! I'm not very chatty, so the discord really isn't for me (eventhough I'm still in it).

Ofc! I don't really use this account much anymore though since I found other fictotypes!

If you want, you can also check out @blitzofucko and @angie-fuzzy-boots for my other kin content :))

[leaderlamby]

DNI if you are below 16 years

For obvious reasons, I am no longer comfortable talking to people that much younger than me online 🤍

[leaderlamby]

I have been gone for a while, unfortunately I've just been very busy with school and work. I've tried to interact when I can, but oh my.....I have certainly missed a lot.....

The whole drama going on right now isn't your problem, dw about it

Sorry he made it a public issue

[leaderlamby]

1. The dm was just the way I joke with my friends, everyone, including you at the time, understands its a joke. I even apologised for it multiple times later and you accepted it. Btw I changed your character out of the maid dress by now if it makes you happy :/

2. I don't even use tiktok anymore but- that was me at 16 having a fictional crush on a 15 year old character. Nothing really out of the ordinary.

3. Okay fuck you. Publicly posting a fucking vent that I had posted in confidence is not okay. Yeah I know, incest is fucked up, I never said anything good about it. I was talking about an unhealthy coping mechanism my brain developed to deal with grief. It's not like it's a choice. As Sal said, these feelings stem from trauma/abuse. How fucking mature of you to laugh at that.

Then again, you've made it so evidently clear that you are NOT mature. Of course that's too much to ask, you're 14 and clearly need a lot of help dealing with your emotions. I hope you remember these 4 years later and cringe at how fucking petty you're being. Pretty much everyone in the server was moved on at this point and you're STILL trying desperately to convince someone to agree with you.

Invites to the discord are paused.

I'm sorry, but due to the actions of a recently banned member, the server is going to be age restricted and closed off for a while until we're sure it's safe.

Lucifer Morningstar/Narinder (limuluspolyphemus on tumblr) decided that me not wanting to participate in conversations about war in Palestine makes me a "racist piece of shit" and a "shitty human being".

He had multiple other people engaging in the conversation with him and decided to single me out specifically for not being there.

I chose not to get into the conversations because I know nothing of the topic and have nothing to contribute, and it makes me uncomfortable talking about an ongoing war.

But that was simply unacceptable for this person, so he personally insulted me (and even implied another member is stupid for defending me).

He also had apologised yesterday and recognised his wrongdoing, which I was happy about, but still didn't want to let him back. Same day, I find an ask submitted by him at @hazkin-server asking very rudely to have his "fucking name taken off the introductory" because he "wanted nothing to do with any of us, especially after what he found out about me".

So, now he's definitely not coming back. All bans will be permanent. The server is now 18+ ONLY, since it's evident a 14 year old doesn't have the maturity to remain respectful when things don't go his way. Invites to the server are paused until everyone involved calms down and is no longer paranoid that any new member is there on Lucifer's behalf.

Apologies.