lilviathan

[lilviathan]

@angsty-violet

Any idiot can like something thats good. It takes a real genius to like things that suck ass

[lilviathan]

Your friends watching something for the first time and getting to that scene VS you, the knower.

[lilviathan]

[lilviathan]

Done

Kind of interesting that there’s overlap in the aspec and poly spaces

[lilviathan]

[lilviathan]

hey you said you were agender? would you mind sharing a bit of your experience regarding that? thanks either way

--questioning genderqueer

I'd love to!

Around the time I was exploring my sexuality and romantic attraction, a close friend of mine began his own exploration too. This was in high school in the 2010s so it was sort of the in-thing for young people. What I could plainly see was that he was working on a case of the Genders, but willfully ignoring it (you know who you are). So I decided to take a trip down the Genders road myself.

Problem was, I felt no real connection to myself, my body or any of my gender presentation. I wore what was comfortable. I didn't wear makeup because it was work. I had a collection of jewelry but the pieces I regularly wore were low maintenance and good for stimming with.

When I found the term agender, it felt like an excellent fit. It was the same feeling I had toward romance. Just total indifference. And I just, never really told anyone. (this is in fact, a reoccurring theme in my stories) See, I had done the self-exploration, figured out who I was, and just settled down into sheer indifference.

Flash forward about five years and I'm decently comfortable in my identity. I decide that I want to start going by a nickname and let everyone know. And my two best friends, you know the genders and someone who would eventually end up to be his husband, were like "oh, we thought this was a form of coming out" and I realized that I had never told them I wasn't cis.

And suddenly, the thing that I had thought I was very comfortable with turned out to be something I'd been ignoring. So, I decided to do a little bit of a deeper dive into myself. Now, I usually tell people I'm nonbinary, because more people know what it is. But that's really not the truth. Enbies are people with a gender, but one outside of the binary. I feel that I have no real gender at all.

This new exploration didn't change me fundamentally, but I did start to change how I presented. Before I was determined to present as androgynous or occasionally fem as possible.

But again, the pursuit, at least for this agender, is comfort above all else. So, I started leaning into some more of the masc. I bought men's clothes, I started wearing my hair shorter and I just overall leaned into the otherness I'd tried to avoid and shut down.

I'd tried to tell myself that my agenderness meant that I didn't care about how I presented or the way people perceived me. But I do. So now, I dress to be comfortable and I dress in a way that indicates I have no strong ties to my sex or really a gender.

Okay, this was really long, and took a sideways path, and obviously not complete. I didn't even go into the dysphoria, dysmorphia and food issues. But that's a pretty good summary.

[lilviathan]

[lilviathan]

You taught us to be afraid of our own community.

I have more fear in a group of queers

Than I do at work where I can never be out

Because I'm not supposed to be part of their community

They can't throw me out because that's not me

But you can. And you did. But I'm not putting up with it any more.

Make room, or get the fuck out

[lilviathan]

REBLOG IF YOU ARE ASEXUAL, KNOW AN ASEXUAL OR REALLY LOVE BIRDS

[lilviathan]

Asexuals are forgotten and invalidated a lot. Especially if they identify as men or are masculine presenting. For that matter sometimes men in the ace community are even forgotten and invalidated by the community itself! So, men and masculine presenting members of the ace community, I want all of you to know that you just as valid as every single other member of the asexual community. I'm sorry if someone else has ever told you otherwise. You are a valuable and wonderful member of community and you deserve the space you take up in it. For those of you who aren't ace men yourself but one or more of your family/friends/loved ones is an ace man or an ace masc presenting person, please remind them that they're valid and loved any chance you get to.

I make a post with a reminder like this every year. I started it because I'd seen the way ace men were often left out of the conversation on ace issues and treated like an afterthought and felt that that was wrong.

[lilviathan]

here, have some bi-ace solidarity

[lilviathan]

You're not doing anything wrong using ace/aro labels and then stopping and/or moving on to other labels. It's normal to try multiple labels before figuring out which ones are right for you.

[lilviathan]

You can still choose not to have sex even if you're not asexual, you can still choose not to date even if you're not aroamantic. It's always OK to say no to these things if you don't want to do them.

[lilviathan]

shoutout to aromantics who feel sexual attraction

shoutout to asexuals who feel romantic attraction

shoutout to aromantic asexuals who don’t feel either but are in sexual/romantic relationships

shoutout to aromantic asexuals in queerplatonic relationships

shoutout to aromantic asexuals who don’t care for romantic/sexual relationships

shoutout to aromantic asexuals who are disgusted by romantic/sexual relationships

basically, shoutout to asexuals, aromantics, or any a-spec people

[lilviathan]

“but sex is what makes us human!”

in 1916 a French officer in his twenties writes his

doctoral dissertation under

heavy mortar fire.

he sends it by mail, a page

at a time, to his wife.

a week before he’s to step up to the podium and

defend his work…

[lilviathan]

Sex is optional. This is true for everyone, not just asexual people.

Romance is optional. This is true for everyone, not just aromantic people.