lilyslittlewritings-blog1

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

The true struggle of negative thoughts. [update I finally found out the artist thnx for letting me know : meli-lusion]

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

I need death in my life to live.thats my excuse. Instead if looking after me I'll kill every plant I see . This will distract me from my suicidal tendencies till I realise I also could put myself out of misery.

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

Recently I think I've been needing to die or to be shocked alive. No such greater pain than being dead but forced to live . No such greater pain than living but wanting to be dead . I know a cure for my madness but it's too reasonable to think about. Yet everyone is shocked by my solution.where did thier will appear from. What did it took like. Because for me it's blank . For me its nonexistent for me it seems it only is given to the living.this is my hell and after will be my sanctuary. Of silence and rejoice as it will stop any thoughts appearing.

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

It's so cold here , my limbs are more numb than ever but that means nothing when your minds numb for forever. Atleast my body and my mind seem to align ,yet its for the wrong reasons which is a shame since I really tried this time

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

It's finally happened. I've hit the bottom floor of depression. I never thought I'd make it here , I thought I'd be stronger but time has a sick way of chipping away of what little things brought joy. I care for nothing anymore, not art, not friendship or even adventures. It's become a struggle just to eat and get out of bed most days. I wish I could blame it on how comfy I was instead of my motivationless life. I want to die but that won't happen, I can't do anything but cry.

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

This year's already been crazy for me , not only am I studying change management but I'm changing along with it .I now have a voice and people listen. I'm still having nightmares related to real life traumatic events but I feel like i can now face anything.

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

Am I alive or just living, when my vision blacks out ,am I blind or just wishing?0

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

You still rule my life even though the throne is empty , even though it's decrepit. I can't help but remember the past and forget the present. What sick mindtrick has forsaken me.Never mind thats my lack of mental stability.

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

As time moves on so shall I , or atleast I'll try .This time is meant to be different a new fresh experience but it makes me think of the past so how long will this refreshed feeling last.

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

Untill now drawing at 3am , have I realised I'm an artist who needs a muse. Wow.

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

My ex messaging me, brings me joy today , just like when he ran off a bus to get a away from me.

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

I don't want to forget you , but I've gotten into a bad habit of forgetting everyone else I knew.

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

That awkward moment when nextflix and chill turns into I might have feelings for you and chill...

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

I use to love definitions, being black and white but now my life's full of grey which blackens out the sky. People tell me weather changes all the time , but I'll never see the sun. The most I can hope for is a rainy day because that saddens everyone. But even then when I stand on the street others have umbrellas and I just have me.

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

Thanks dude <3

What’s it like to have a family that cares about your birthday .what’s it like to have friends who want to hang out on your birthday what’s it like to live in a society where your birthday feels actually like its something special?. Instead of just wanting to die over and over and over and over and over again until the voice talking just disappears and your left alone in silence . I guess what I’m asking is whats it like to be happy ?.

[lilyslittlewritings-blog1]

What's it like to have a family that cares about your birthday .what's it like to have friends who want to hang out on your birthday what's it like to live in a society where your birthday feels actually like its something special?. Instead of just wanting to die over and over and over and over and over again until the voice talking just disappears and your left alone in silence . I guess what I'm asking is whats it like to be happy ?.