mira-kairos

[mira-kairos]

As If

I'll write. I'll write about you till the end of time, I'll write about you till my pencils aren't sharp, I'll write till my pen runs out of ink, till my hands are nothing but a tool to show my agony.

I'll write about how I felt, I'll write about what I thought, thousands of conversations going in my mind, of what you'll say, and with what answers I will follow.

All these arguments I have in my mind, yes, I think about them even after all this time, but God, should we pass by each other, I'll walk by quietly, as if you had never been there. As if I never saw you, as if I never recognized you, as if we never met, as if we never spent time together, as if there was nothing between us, as if I never wrote about you, as if I still don't write about you.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

First Rain

It was the first rain of the season today, with thunderstorms and strong winds, and I thought of the time we had spent together, before it all fell apart.

I grabbed my phone, recording the video, my excitement unparalleled, almost sending you the footage, before I remembered, we haven't talked in months.

I remembered the three seasons we had spent; each year I would post the story of a little snippet of rain, you'd be the first person to message me, "Oh, it's first rain already, I saw your story."

I remembered how you'd always say, "I wait for your story every year, how you celebrate it without missing, from wherever you are in the world."

It was the first rain of the season today; I remembered it all—did you too? Three first rains, and messages exchanged, did you think about me too?

It was the first rain of the season today, with thunderstorms and strong winds, like reflecting the state of my heart and mind, perhaps the first time both of them in a similar state.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

Chains of Past

She thought she made the right choice, Cutting all the ties for sake of her peace, She moved forward thinking she was finally free..

But the death of what once was- unnamed; Yet something, still haunts her everyday. She should forget it, she should move on, Yet there she was again holding onto chains that once hurt her.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

If I have to leave my heart at my doorstep to be with you, Then let me be. Return to your home, and pass your days with someone who bends to your whims.

If I have to break all my ties with people I love, to bind one with yours, Then find yourself someone new to keep.

If I have to forget all I know and immerse myself in only you, for you to give me attention, Then forget about me.

Do not try to change me, mold me into something new, If you can't accept my love as it is now, Then you might as well find someone new to take love from.

For I will not change myself, I will not forget my past, I will not leave everything behind, if you want me, Then accept me as i am now.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

“You always have earphones on.”

“Live in reality a little bit.”

If I could, I would, 

But my mind is too loud;

And music seems like only remedy.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

I realized depth of my cruelty, when I promised we would meet in my dreams, and then I never went to sleep.

Maybe it was cruel, no- it was cruel, unnecessarily so, but I let my fears and self-doubt cloud my judgement, even though you had given me nothing but love and kindness.

I guess this is what happens, when you move on but never heal, when you ignore your wounds, like they have never been there, like they weren't result of a life altering event, like it didn't hurt- it doesn't hurt, so, you end up hurting the wrong person, and end up losing them over nothing but your own problems.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

procrastinate

Why do I procrastinate so much? Is it because I know I'll get the things done? Or is it a result of some mental disorder I haven’t heard of? I sit there idly and watch as time pass by, sunrise to sunset, I let grains of sand pass through my dry hands, I walk till the edge of cliff, And then panic because i am about to fall, I panic because i am too close to outcome i always dreaded of, But i was the cause of it, and now I am facing the consequences, but i only get to blame myself, fuck it, Why can’t I be on the safer side? my body feels as if paralyzed, it just never moves, Even If my mind is screaming, to get up and start moving, i don't. I don’t understand, why do I procrastinate so much?

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

Untitled

Everything happens for a reason, And maybe that’s why you and I had a fallout, You weren’t meant to be in my life, Anymore, and our path were meant to diverge, But it was not for nothing, Lessons were learned, some bitter, some sweet, And some for forever to keep, I had front row seat, of how you showed yourself to the world, And how you actually were, It was interesting to see, how men’s mind worked, You learned how stubborn I could be, How I could throw away years of bond, Just to keep my word, something I had said, First time we met, It's okay though, everything… happens for a reason, And lessons are learned, some bitter, some sweet, And some for forever to keep, But You are someone I pray to high above Everyday To Forget.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

20’s

It’s weird to be in your early 20’s, so grown up, yet has nothing figured out, While you see your classmates walking down, On their already decided roads, going ahead, And achieving things they dreamt off,  While you are just stuck on, “Where do I start from?”

It feels so lost, while in your early 20’s, Don’t know where to go, what to do, When you are at age where, You should already have your life mapped out for you, It feels being a burden, on your parents, Every time you ask for something, Like you are in your 20’s, And you don't even make some money?

I hate the 20's. I want to be in my…. I don’t know, just some other phase, Where I have my life figured out, Where I don't have to worry about buying something, Where I don't feel like i am a burden on my parents, I want to be where my life isn’t a mess, Here, it feels like every second is wasted, time passes so slow yet so fast, I have nothing planned for my life, I just want to be somewhere, Where I have my Life figured out.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

Denial

Friends, you say? we are only friends? all those nights and lingering touches, were those something that happens between friends? is that denial? or disgust? If i were to think? I gave up my dignity, my self respect, when I had to be, with you, when I had to choose, and you tell people, that we are just friends? If that’s what you want then that’s what I’ll give you, till the day my body wither and die, till my soul finally rests inside eternal divine, I will be looking at you with eyes of someone only a friend, my eyes will only rest on you amount socially accepted, my words will only echo of what’s of for only a friend, my body and actions will never betray. There would not be even a single indication, never of lover, never of other half, never of someone who is dying to have you in arms. never of someone who crossed half city at night, never of someone who lied to whole family and all I trusted. I’ll still love you, same as today, I’ll still die a little every time I hear you got hurt, I’ll still look at nature and think about your eyes, I’ll still think about your opinion, whenever I had something to Buy. but whenever someone will ask, if I love you or ever loved you, I will look in your eyes, and answer in denial.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

Spark

I like to think there is something between us,

surely, i wouldn’t have imagined all those,

moments when I felt your eyes and hands linger,

surely, i wouldn’t have been coincedence that,

your poems always have answer to my questions,

surely, it was nothing that you just had my favorites,

a mere alignment of fate, that you had,

my favorite flowers, my favorite colors on men,

my favorite drinks, snacks, chocolates, book,

with you.

we both felt the spark, i know, than why are we denying inevitable?

why are we avoiding the collision, that's bound to happen?

lets just cut the chase,

so that we don't have to say,

I wish I had been with you sooner.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

Glance

It was just a glance, but it felt like an eternity has passed, the world disappeared, and it was just us.

It was just a glance, but it felt like fireworks lit my soul, and my mind.

It was just a glance, between your eyes and mine, but I knew in that moment, that you were always meant to be mine.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

I wish that muses were as beautiful as poets make them out to be,

I have seen the artists and poets and singers,

I have seen their arts,

and then I have met their muses too!

Its love that makes everything beautiful,

we see people through rose-colored glasses,

and we artists convert that love into art,

even when they crush our heart into pieces.

It’s our abilities, to make masterpieces out of experiences,

It’s not them. Its us, darlings.

they did not make us artist, or writer, or poet.

we always were.

we always has been.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

am i just a slave to my emotions?

My past self screams at me, wanting to know, if the ink has ended, or my rage has subsided. why don’t I write anymore? as much as I used to? why has it become a habit to recycle through, old works, and unfinished poems, has my skill just vanished? now that I have healed? is that only what I was? just result of my rage? my hurt? so much I don't pick up a pen, to write down a decent rhyme, is it not possible anymore? am i just a slave to my emotions? they can make me write, pages for ages; but here i am sitting at desktop, with empty doc and healed heart. am i just a slave to my emotions? is that only what i was? result of my rage? My past self screams at me, wanting to know, if the ink has ended, or my rage has subsided.

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

was it worth it?

sleepless nights, and moonless nights brings more questions, They Forces me to face my demons, and listen to the whispers,

“Was it really worth it?” They ask, “to tear yourself apart? Was it really worth everything you went through? Was it worth it? When you changed yourself to fit someone’s frame? Was it worth it? Have you thought about When did you started to lose your identity? Did it hurt? When you looked at the mirror and didn't recognise yourself? When you look back on the past, and realize how miserable you are?”

So I think and think, and whispers becomes screams, Of my past self, who got buried under all the facade, Screams and questions so torturous, I give up my fight, In the end, the only thing remains, and i ask myself, If losing myself over them worth it?

©Mira Kairos

[mira-kairos]

List 5 songs you like to listen to, then publish this and send this ask to the last 5 people in your notifs🎶

though answer keeps changing all the time, lately I am into...

Try - Colbie Caillat Eye of the Storm - Ryan Stevenson Chemtrails Over the Country Club - Lana Del Rey La campanella - Niccolo Paganini This probably doesn't count as song, but I am lately also listening to Mario Kart music, cause I have exams and it helps me to read without distractions. Mario Kart Music

[mira-kairos]

Up to You

I don't know If I love you, or the love between us, and it drives me crazy, I ponder over it day and night, I long for the longing that comes with this love, the way I long and yearn your presence, you are the only one in the center of my mind, I am kinda in love with the way this love ruins me, and turns me into nothingness, i have stopped caring about what the world has to say, you are my creator, my destroyer, my god, I am in love the way this love leaves me bleeding at your door step, you are my comfort, to you I feel home, let people say whatever they want, they have nothing else to do anyways, I long for this, and I give myself up to you. make me happy or sad, it's all up to you, love me or ignore me, it's all up to you, let me live, or kill me, it's all up to you, for I give myself up, to you.

©Mira Kairos