mspea

[mspea]

Recently I'm hopping around a lot

Maybe it's time to see around

Or maybe I want to escape from those walls.

I'll eventually be there again —

That's the destiny.

But till that time let's enjoy hopping 🌚

[mspea]

Was sorting my jewellery pieces…🌚✨💖

[mspea]

To my comfort space

My beloved place

Where I reside

Where I hide

Return when I seek quiet

Bound yet freed in its silent riot.

[mspea]

I find solace in books especially those found in vintage book shops

I mean what can be better than taking you on a solo healing date?

[mspea]

[mspea]

But where do those who never fit in anywhere go?

Make their world or just disappear…

[mspea]

I've made this place my dumping ground

Like every other dumping yard— I created

But unlike others

I, abnormal me, couldn't leave it behind.

I go back to it again and again.

Whenever I sense my abnormality,

is about to be cured—

I run over and take a deep dive into it.

What is my dumping place you ask?

Well, everything a normal you can't fit into.

[mspea]

I often feel anxious about myself

The current state I am in, unable to escape and unable to stay.

I often feel there's a loop around my neck,

already tight, almost suffocating me,

Unable to even turn my head;

I fear I might choke to death.

I often prayed for others— happiness, peace, and well-being,

unable to ask anything for myself,

thinking it was merely nothing.

But now I want to be selfish,

pray for myself, my happiness, peace, and well-being.

Of course, not gonna ignore others,

but putting myself first will be my priority.

I don't want to be caged further,

because I feel now I've become water.

The more you hold, the more I'll slip,

And that's something I will never be anxious to be.

[mspea]

[mspea]

I found peace, wrapped inside a jewellery box.

The only dilemma was that—

i was not the owner of it.

So I chose to escape;

Escape to a faraway a place

Behind those mountains

Inside a small cottage house

Where there will be no existence of that jewellery box.

[mspea]

[mspea]

[mspea]

Today's blues added a yellow hue…

[mspea]

Normal not so normal

I believe to be brain dead

Despite being immortal

[mspea]

I stood by the lake,

humming a song

that didn’t belong to this world

or even to me.

The breeze kissed my nose

and turned it cold,

my cheeks reddened —

I was dazed,

like time had folded itself in half

and offered me a seat.

I sat for hours,

unthinking,

untouched.

Only emptiness sat with me —

not hollow,

but full of fog,

like a thought that slipped

before it could bloom.

[mspea]

I write my thoughts and tear it down again and again

I hide my own thoughts from myself nowadays

Is it important to explain each feeling to yourself and others every time?

Those leaves fall from the branches every day, just like I'm lost in my thoughts every day.

Had anyone stopped and asked the leaves why they fall 🍁

I would like to ask them but i believe I know the answer already

Is it important to leave ur loved ones so that one more person can make space in between?

Old leaves fall so that the new leaves arrive; is it not painful for those leaves to leave their branches?

Sacrifice…? Is it okay to sacrifice urself for the happiness of your loved ones?

But what about ur happiness?

I write my thoughts and tear them down, maybe because they're not worth reading.

[mspea]

I fed the crows my flesh

Piece by piece, only leaving the eyes

I plead to leave the eyes

It hold the hope to meet my beloved

It holds the hope that we will relive again

I fed the crows my flesh, piece by piece

Only leaving the eyes…