multigendered

[multigendered]

Finding Masculine Clothing in the Women’s Section

Kai says:

I have parents who only let me buy clothing from the women’s section, so I thought I would compile a list of places I know you can find masculine/gender neutral clothing in the women’s section for all the other transmasculine people who might be closeted or have parents like mine! If you know of any I’ve missed, please send an ask to my personal blog kaikev

Note that some of these stores/brands may be more expensive than others if they aren’t on sale. I also apologize in advance if these stores are not accommodating to plus size individuals; I don’t have any experience with that and if anyone has suggestions for additions to these lists, please tell me!

I also apologize for any problematic language I use in this post, so feel free to send any suggestions for better wording to my personal blog (listed above).

Button down shirts/flannels:

Uniqlo

H&M

GAP / GAP Factory

Old Navy

J. Crew / J. Crew Factory

Anywhere you can find button down shirts/flannels in general has masc/neutral style ones. Skate or surf stores/brands may have some.

T-shirts: (especially graphic tees)

American Apparel

Urban Outfitters

Hot Topic

Anywhere you can get unisex t-shirts (for example, custom designs or merchandise, stuff with chest designs, skater shops)

Pants:

H&M

RVCA

Zumiez

Pacsun

Levi’s

GAP / GAP Factory

Adidas (they have track pants that are pretty masc/neutral)

American Eagle

Generally chinos, joggers, track pants, and sweatpants are styles that are more neutral/masc and tend to have bigger pockets

For jeans, ‘girlfriend,’ ‘boyfriend,’ ‘tomboy,’ and ‘tomgirl’ fits are usually less tight and more loose and can hide hips

Don’t go for high-rise pants if you’re looking to hide the waist/hip ratio. Go for low-rise pants.

Shorts (these are hard to find in the women’s section unless you can get athletic shorts):

GAP / GAP factory (they have 9 inch or 10 inch shorts)

athletic brands or stores for basketball shorts like Nike, Adidas, Under Armour, Sports Authority, etc.

Generally, basketball shorts are masc/neutral and have pockets

Edit: also bermuda style shorts are generally longer. You can always each “9 inch shorts” on websites and see what comes up

Jackets/Hoodies/Sweatshirts:

Zumiez

Pacsun

H&M

Old Navy

Tilly’s

Vans

Urban Outfitters

ASOS

American Eagle

Athletic brands and stores tend to have masc/neutral jackets, hoodies, and sweatshirts (see above at Shorts section for links)

Edit: outdoor stores/brands like The North Face, Patagonia, REI, etc., surf brands, have a lot of neutral clothing in the women’s section.

Formalwear (specifically blazers/suits. If you’re looking for button down shirts, see the section above as well):

J Crew / J Crew factory

Nordstrom

Wildfang (this is marketed towards masc women, so some parents might not approve because they sell men’s section clothing there)

ASOS

Mango

Old Navy (for blazers)

Dr. Martens (for shoes)

H&M (for slacks/pants)

Blazers can range from quite feminine to very neutral, so it may take a while to find one you like. Suits might be easier to find in a neutral style, though they tend to be more expensive. For button down shirts, see above. Slacks/pants are not too hard to find as well.

Shoes:

Vans

Converse

Adidas

Dr. Martens

Nike

Athletic brands in general, especially skate shoes tend to be masc/neutral/unisex

Swimwear (rash guards and boardshorts):

If you search on Amazon, or online for women’s rashguards, there will be some that are more neutral. Kanu Surf brand looks a little more neutral, but I’m sure there are others.

If you search for 9″, 10″, or 11″ board shorts for women, you can find neutral board shorts like this Volcom one and Rip Curl one

Wearing a rash guard and boardshorts over a one piece swimsuit or a sports bra and a bikini bottom works for swimming

Racing/sporty one piece swimsuits might help with compression and holding your chest in place, so check out brands like Nike, Speedo, etc. for high quality racing one piece swimsuits that have a little bit of compression

Binders/High compression sports bras:

See our Transmasculine Resources for binders, though these are not from the “women’s” section, so transphobic parents might not let you buy it

Underworks Magicotton Sports Bra and Binding Minimizer Bra (marketed for cis women as a sports bra, so potentially transphobic parents might let you buy it. If you check the reviews, many people use it as a binder)

You can also find high compression sports bras from athletic brands like Nike, Adidas, Under Armour, etc.

Generally, I’ve had good luck with skate brands, surf brands, athletic brands, brands/stores for teenagers like H&M, etc.

I hope this helps! Please feel free to send me more suggestions if you come across anything helpful - this post will probably be edited to add more links so check back every once in a while and reblog again for your followers and for updates!

[multigendered]

Hey. I'm a cis-passing trans man but I always felt like something was missing. Then I discovered genderfaun and it just felt so good and right and I think that's me? But it basically doesn't change anything. I still wanna go by he/him only and I always presented mostly masc with some little fem elements. Because of this, I dont even feel the need to tell ppl Im genderfaun, Im fine with them seeing me as a man. The only thing it changes are my personal feelings about my gender. Am I faking?

No, you aren’t faking. Your gender feelings exist whether you tell other people about them or keep them to yourself. If you think you are genderfaun, then you are, regardless of whether it will change something in your life or not.

[multigendered]

Do people without dysphoria genuinely believe they’re trans, or does some part of them know they’re cis? I really don’t understand how identifying as trans makes you trans. Given the choice, I’d be a cis girl instead of an enby who wants to rip off my own boobs.

First of all, I want to make it clear that I absolutely do support trans people who do not experience dysphoria. Now, I am dysphoric too, and I understand how the concept of being trans without dysphoria could sound strange at first, so I’ll try to explain it as best as I can.

You know that feeling you have when someone uses the right pronouns for you, or your chosen name, or anyway when your gender is acknowledged? It feels great, right? The first time someone used they pronouns for me I was just amazed. That good feeling is called gender euphoria, it’s basically the opposite of gender dysphoria, and that’s what non-dysphoric trans people’s experience is based on.

Let’s say there is someone named Alex who everyone considers a girl. Alex is not completely against being considered a girl, per se, it doesn’t bring any strong negative feeling. Overall, Alex feels kind of “meh” about it. But as time goes by Alex realizes that being seen as a boy feels better. Alex asks people to use he/him pronouns, he asks to be called a boy, he wants to go to the boys side of the gym at school, he always picks the male avatar in videogames, and so on. In all of this, Alex doesn’t hate his body, he doesn’t feel dysphoric over it. Maybe he’ll want to medically transition anyway, because while he’s not totally uncomfortable he knows he will be more comfortable another way. Or maybe he doesn’t transition, because he’s not particularly enthusiastic about this body but he doesn’t hate it either.

If this example doesn’t clear up things, let me put it this way: I like cherry pie. It’s not something I ever crave or that I would go out of my way to buy, but if I’m at someone’s home and they offer me slice I’ll take it. It’s not that great, but I’m ok with it. On the other side, I love chocolate cake. If I had the choice between cherry pie and chocolate cake, I would say chocolate cake without thinking twice about it. The fact that cherry pie doesn’t make me throw up doesn’t mean I find chocolate cake a lot more satisfactory. Alex, in my example, can deal with being considered a girl, he doesn’t feel too bad about it, but not hating it doesn’t mean being a boy isn’t a greatly preferable option.

Furthermore, a thing I have noticed in this dysphoria-or-not-dysphoria discussion, is that usually people seem to focus on purely physical dysphoria, which isn’t the only kind of dysphoria there is. Social dysphoria is nearly never mentioned anywhere.

Say you have Amy, who is a non-dysphoric trans girl, who is perfectly fine with her body the way it is, really, she doesn’t feel the need to change. But if someone calls her by her deadname, she feels horrible. She can’t stand he pronouns. People calling her a boy make her want to be swallowed by the earth and never reappear again. Being socially considered a boy is pure torture to her, but despite this she never actively hates her body. 

And another thing to keep in mind is, what if you stop having dysphoria? What of trans people, of any gender, who have transitioned, who don’t feel dysphoria anymore, are they cis now? If I could make my dysphoria go away - which isn’t likely at all because as a nonbinary and genderfluid person it’s virtually impossible for me, at the moment, to get rid of all of my dysphoric feelings - I would still be trans. Hell, there are days when I am not dysphoric at all, because since I’m genderfluid sometimes everything matches with my assigned gender, but I’m not like cis for a week or something like that.

To wrap this up, I firmly believe anyone who identifies with a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, regardless of how much dysphoria they feel, to be allowed to call themselves trans because of it. If you want to know what I, personally, don’t understand, is why a cis person would ever want to deliberately call themselves trans and expose themselves to transphobia if they are just doing it because they want to look cool. Especially in real life, a cis person saying “I’m trans” would soon take it back if they didn’t mean it.

[multigendered]

yeah soooo this person? called nonbinary genocide? block her, please she’s violent really violent!

Oof yeah, I saw their crap posts just this past weekend and blocked her right away! I forgot to make a post on this blog telling people about it though! Thank you for reminding me!

@ followers: Block and report! Her posts may be triggering (suicide-baiting, death threats, usage of slurs, etc.) so I advise not scrolling through her blog! She particularly likes to reblog selfies of nonbinary people and people that use they/them pronouns and say nasty shit.

Again, block and report! Stay safe everyone!

[multigendered]

Gatekeeping for all trans people is bad enough, but it gets worse when nonbinary people aren’t considered in the system.

Small note: Merkle described capillaries breaking when they put on a new binder, which should not happen with even a new binder. If there’s bruising, it’s too small.

[multigendered]

There isn’t much trans representation in any media, and some people avoid adding to it out of fear of getting it wrong.

So I decided to give all trans people the option of sharing what they want. 

I will share the results in percentage, and hopefully the answers will take away the fear creators might have.

I will close this survey if it gets 2000 responses.

The survey is for non-cis people only. Everyone is allowed to share.

[multigendered]

is there a gendermae ('opposite' to genderfae, never feminine)

There’s genderfaun

[multigendered]

Why?

You need to be more specific, anon.

[multigendered]

These two asks came in very close and I’m not sure whether they’re from the same person or are two different anons. Since they are similar, I’ll try to answer them in one post.

First of all, gender is a very confusing thing. It’s normal for labels to not fit anymore or to find out that what you thought about yourself wasn’t true. It can be very upsetting, I know, but you are not a fraud or a liar because of it. You weren’t actively trying to deceive people, you just went with what you thought was right, and no one can blame you for that.

Many genderfluid people experience changes pretty often - their gender changes every few days or weeks - but it’s possible for your gender to stay the same for a longer time, enough to make one think that’s the gender they will always be, before it changes again. It’s terribly upsetting, yes. But one can’t control when or if that happens, so, again, you are not at fault for thinking you were male.

And experiencing changes in your gender doesn’t make you a fake. You can’t be a fake for not being able to control something you cannot control. It may feel like you are, I know, but you have no fault in this happening.

I don’t think you are copying your friend. Personally, I find that the idea of actively “copying” someone else’s gender is pretty far fetched. I would say it was most likely more a coincidence than something you consciously or subconsciously did. If certain pronouns make you more comfortable than others, then use them. I don’t think your friends would care if you use the same pronouns as another of them. They probably wouldn’t be angry at you if you told them you are still confused about your gender either.

As for what labels to use, I believe you could call yourself either demiboy, boyflux or nonbinary depending on how strongly you feel connected to being male. Demiboy indicates someone who is partially male and partially something else, so if you feel sometimes 100% male and sometimes 100% nonbinary maybe demiboyfluid or demiboyflux would be more accurate, although of course you could just say demiboy for short. Boyflux would mean the intensity with which you feel male changes, it usually indicates someone who goes between male and agender so if you don’t feel agender it could get confusing to people. Nonbinary can cover a lot of ground as long as you are not always only 100% one binary gender, so it could encompass also your experience. If you feel a strong connection to being male, you could try looking into solarian as a label.

I can also suggest you genderfaun, a subset of genderfluid where one never experiences female or feminine genders.

A note: ftm is considered outdated terminology by some, so if you wish to use it for yourself go on, but be aware some people are uncomfortable with it. This being said, if you believe you would be happier transitioning or presenting yourself as transmasculine, then you shouldn’t feel restrained by the fact you are not always a man. Just do what feels the best to you, and good luck!

[multigendered]

Hi! So Stellarian used to be my primarily label but I discovered recently that it's more about describing the axis of oppression than being an identity. I've been looking for a new label I can use but have come up short. The reason I liked Stellarian was bc it was distinctly unaligned and yet still open enough to account for my gender's fluidity/fluxes (all nb in essence) and had a sense of community that came with it. Is there any such other label that has these same qualities? Thx in advance

I’m not sure where you heard that stellarian describes the axis of oppression, because I only know it as being an identity. Lunarian isn’t “experiences misogyny/looks like a woman”, solarian isn’t “has male privilege/looks like a man”. Those labels were made precisely to describe how one feels about themselves, not by how society sees them and whether they benefit from privilege or suffer from oppression. They were made to replace terms such as man-aligned and woman-aligned, which some people interpreted as basically man/basically woman.

Besides, in a society that still sees people as always only male or female, where would stellarian fall if we tried to apply it to oppression people face? Would it be the level of privilege/oppression faced by people whose gender cannot be clearly interpreted as either male or female? What about combined labels such as sollunarian and so on, how do they work within the context of oppression?

The alternatives to stellarian I know would be simply saying that you are unaligned, or that you reject alignment language, if you feel that applied to you. But personally I would say you can keep using stellarian.

[multigendered]

DHT Interest Form

tw: genital mention

DHT is something that can safely boost genital growth for people on testosterone but it isn’t legally available anymore.

To help make it available there needs to be proof there’s a demand for it, so fill out this this google form to register your interest!

[multigendered]

Bigender?

More like

Brilliant

Interesting

Gorgeous

Ethereal

Nonconformist

Dashing

Enchanting

Radiant

[multigendered]

unaligned nonbinary people who are transitioning are valid in their identities. you can transition without being aligned to anything, gender alignment isn’t necessary to transitioning.

[multigendered]

Sta you have a bisexual person who is bigender/genderfluid and experiences being both male and female. They are female and attracted to women, so they could consider themselves wlw if they wished. But they are also male and attracted to men, so they could also consider themselves mlm. Are they supposed to just pick one? Who decides which one they can be and which one they can’t?

Since I’ve seen this discourse going around:

- if you are bi/tri/polygender and one of your genders is male, you can be mlm. If one of your genders is female, you can be wlw

- if you are genderfluid and only sometimes male, you can be mlm. If you are only sometimes female, you can be wlw

- yes, you can be mlm/wlw even if you experience both binary genders

- yes, you can be both mlm and wlw

- saying otherwise is exorsexist

[multigendered]

Since I’ve seen this discourse going around: - if you are bi/tri/polygender and one of your genders is male, you can be mlm. If one of your genders is female, you can be wlw - if you are genderfluid and only sometimes male, you can be mlm. If you are only sometimes female, you can be wlw - yes, you can be mlm/wlw even if you experience both binary genders - yes, you can be both mlm and wlw - saying otherwise is exorsexist

[multigendered]

Chill demiboy moodboard for anon

-mod royce

[multigendered]

Hi, I’ve been having a bit of trouble and was just wondering if you could help in any way? I have DID, and have a system with a variety of gender. This is generally pretty clear. But as a whole, I sometimes feel dysphoric (I’m afab) and don’t know what I’m feeling a majority of the time. I know I’m not ftm but sometimes I feel it, even if I am extremely feminine. And I just...i guess I was hoping for advice if possible? If not, I’m incredibly sorry, and I love your blog to bits 💛💛💛

When you say “as a whole”, you are referring to only yourself or about your system in general? I assume you are asking only about yourself, I apologize if I’m mistaken.

So, being feminine or masculine is not synonymous with being female or male. You can be very feminine but still have a gender that is masculine.

You say you aren’t a trans man but you feel like it sometimes, if you feel male at times but not always you might be genderfluid. You could also be demimale, so partially male and partially not.

If you want advice on how to question yourself, try to figure out if your femininity is only connected to your preferences such as your look, what you enjoy, etc, or if you actually consider yourself to be female, or close to it. Try to imagine if being considered male (or nonbinary) would make you happier than being considered female.

You can try asking someone close to you to refer to you with different pronouns or gendered words to see if you are more comfortable with them than with female ones, or if you don’t have anyone who you trust you can try the pronoun dressing room for starters.