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Peter: Why doesn’t MJ find me sexy when I bite my lip?

Tony: What do you look like when you bite your lip?

Peter: *bites lip*

Tony: ...Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?

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Steve: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

Tony: Please, just say fuck.

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Peter: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Bucky: Killed without hesitation.

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Nat: We need to open this locked door. Tony, give me your credit card.

Tony: Yeah sure, here.

Nat,pocketing it: Thanks. Tony, break down the door.

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Steve:What do we say when life disappoints us?

Bucky: Called it!

Steve: No.

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Steve: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Nat:

Tony: I'm gonna tell them.

Nat: Don't you dare.

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Tony: I'm getting married.

Pepper: t-to whom?

Tony: what do you mean to wh- wait a damn minute

Tony: haven't I proposed yet?

Pepper:

Tony: you're telling me that was just a dream?

Tony: nevermind. Pepper, the love of my life will you marry me?

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Steve: Tony isn't answering my calls

Nat: l'll try

Steve: I've tried eight times. What makes you think-

Tony: *answering after the first ring* Hey what’s up?

Nat: Hey, did you get any of the calls?

Tony: Whose calls?

Nat:...

Nat: You blocked Steve, didn't you?

Tony: First thing I did when he got my number, why?

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Y/n: I just fell-

Pietro: From heaven? Yes you did.

Y/n: No I actually fell-

Pietro: In love with me? Duh It's because you have good taste.

Y/n: Pietro! I think I broke my arm.

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Y/n: I love you so much!

Bucky: Aww, thank's doll I love you too.

Y/n: Um..

Bucky: You were talking to Alpine weren't you?

Y/n: Yeah!

Bucky: *Pouting*

Y/n: But I love you too!

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Strange: You have three wishes.

Tony: I wish for more wishes

Strange: No, you can't wish like that

Tony: I wish I could wish like that

Strange: That's not how it works

Tony: I wish that is how it works

Strange: *Crying* WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?

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Loki: * pulls out a knife*

Thor: How many of those do you have?

Loki, pulling out more: How many do you need?

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Fury: that's why we needed to get an expert

Tony: oh really? who did you get?

Fury:

Tony: oh right that's me

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Clint: In your opinion, what's the height of

stupidity?

Natasha: *turning to Tony* How tall are you?

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Yelena: I don't what I should throw at you-

Kate: Maybe don't-

Yelena:-myself or that table?

Kate: …can I choose?

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Steve, hearing a thud: what was that, Tony?

Tony: nothing, just my clothing falling to the ground.

Steve: it sounded a bit heavy to just be clothes.

Tony: yeah, I uh was in them… when they fell.

Steve: so you fell over.

Tony: i fell over.

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So hot for absolutely no reason 😗