nameless-ghoul-trash

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

I fear I am unwell. It's been a week since my ritual and I have worked every day since. Finally processing it. I'm not ok. Send me back!

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

What is happening?

Part 2

Word count:2.2k

Warnings: The usual. Sodo is a dick. Hurt/comfort?

-

It's here!! Sorry about the long wait time.

--

The following day seemed somewhat normal. Everyone woke up, had breakfast, and went on about their day, including Sodo. It seemed like you were the only one feeling a bit off. He appeared unbothered. So you decided that it shouldn't bother you. Maybe he just needed time. You can do that. After eating you go back to your room and gather the necessary items to freshen up for the day. Taking a quick shower you finish getting ready. Once your hair dried you ready to leave the den. Throwing on your helmet you begin the trek to the practice room.

   The halls were relatively busy, everyone trying to make it to their respective destinations. Among the many bodies passing someone reaches out to tap your shoulder. Turning, you're met with the tall build of Omega. "Hey (Y/N). Do you want to do lunch with our group again?"  You smile. "I would love to! I'm going to practice now, then I'll meet up with you guys after." You beam at him. "Cool. Someone will meet you in the hall after." "Ok! Thank you for inviting me!" You wave and turn with a pep in your step and continue your way. It was nice to be building friendships in the abbey. You loved being around the pack but sometimes you feel like it's a forced proximity bond. Being able to make friendships on your own feels different. Making it to practice you walk through the open door. A few of your bandmates were loitering around setting up their equipment, the others waiting. After removing your mask you check the clock noting you still had a few minutes. Your role was to be one of the backup vocalists.

    Humming to rats you walk towards your designated spot, the smile having not left your face. Aurora meets you halfway and walks with you. "You're in a pretty good mood." You guess you are. "It's been a pretty decent morning." "That's good! We need at least some good energy. Sodo came in here raging ready to pick a fight. Pissed Swiss off almost immediately. " Your brow furrowed. You hadn't noticed the tension when you originally came in, but looking around it's very much present. "I don't know what his problem is lately but he's been getting worse and worse." Aurora continued. He had been. Even your time together he had been. You knew things weren't great but had you really turned a blind eye to how bad he was being? What is his deal? All you offer back is a small "I don't know.". "Either way he needs to get his shit together." Swiss chimes in loudly as he walks by. Chancing a look at where Sodo is sitting, you see he's got his eyes locked onto the two of you, looking straight up pissed. "Would you all just shut the fuck up!? You're being fucking annoying and I don't need you talking about me." Your good mood from before dissipated completely. "Dude-" Phantom barely got the word out before you started. "What's your deal? Why are you throwing a temper tantrum today?" Standing he takes a step towards you. "The fuck you mean temper tantrum? You're the problem. You always got to be saying or doing something." "I have no clue what you're on about. How am I the problem? I just fucking got here! I didn't even speak to anyone this morning. So you have no right!"

   You can physically see his anger worsening. "You were literally just fucking talking. What? You think you can get away with anything? Huh?"  "Sodo, knock it off." Swiss tries to interject. You throw your hands out to your side. "For one, I-" You emphasize the I, "only said that I didn't know what crawled up your damn ass. Secondly, is this about me pulling on your tail yesterday? Want me to apologize? Fine, I'm sorry. Happy?" Cumulus tries this time "Guys can we-" Sodo stomps up to you and jabs you in the chest. "No this is about you being a clingy ass bitch. Can never be alone. Always have to have somebody. Getting away with whatever. You always have to have someone holding your hand." His words cut deeper than they ever have. Last night flashes across your mind. Is he tired of you? Is that why he wouldn't let you in? That must be why he's been the way he has with you. You just kept going back not getting the message. It kind of makes sense now. That doesn't stop it from hurting. With his finger still pressed firmly to your chest you bring your hands up and shove him back with a bit of force. Taking a step back you shake your head. "You have no right, Sodo!" You couldn't stop the tears. Nothing he has said has hurt this deeply. Hearing it from someone you care so much about?

   Sodo lunges to get in your face again but Phantom and Rain are quick to grab him. "That's enough!" The voice calls from the door. "What the fuck is this?"  Copia standing there very unimpressed, waits for an answer. "Lovers' quarrel." Swiss gives. Sodo whips his head towards the ghoul shoving the other two off. "We are not lovers. Never have been. " He says it with such finality and it caused the already there hurt to deepen. All you can do is look at him. What were you to him then? All that time. You knew you weren't in a real relationship, but you thought maybe there was something. You were a fool. Wiping your face you take a deep breath. You have stuff to get done and no time to dwell.

-

   After practice, you hang back waiting. Sodo did not. After the room cleared and the door was closed the a tired Copia takes a seat beside you. Silence hangs between you for a short while. Finally, he looks at you. "What is going on my ghuleh?" You study your fingers. "I don't know. We got in a fight." You shrug. "Would you like to talk about it?" Making eye contact you answer. "Not really." "Okie-dokie. Well if you change your mind." You nod again. "Thank you." Leaving the room you're surprised to find Omega, Pebble, Alpha, and Mist waiting outside. "I didn't expect everyone to be waiting. Where are the others?" You chuckle. Omega smiles "They'll catch up later."  As the group turns to head down the hall you notice Sodo leaning on the wall in the opposite direction watching you. His words had hurt. You weren't ready to talk to him. Turning your back on him you follow the group.

--

  Things hadn't been the same since that day, a little over 2 months ago. You and Sodo completely stopped talking outside of group stuff. No longer sought each other out. You had also somewhat pulled back from the rest of the pack as a result. Instead, you had found a place with the Meliora ghouls. You spent more time in their den than in the den you called home. You've built your strongest bonds with Pebble and Omega. Nothing in the romantic sense but in the sense of chosen family. You had never had such a sense of belonging.

    Tonight would be one of the increasingly uncommon nights you would stay in the Imperia den. You were going to have an early morning practice and thought it better to stay in your room. Getting to the den you smell heavily of Omega and Alpha having just left the ghoul pile in favor of going to bed a little early. Everyone minus Phantom and Rain was spread out across the living room when you entered. Cumulus beat everyone to saying anything. "Howdy stranger! What are you up to?"  She pats the seat next to her on the couch. You walk over and flop down between her and Mountain. Sodo was in the corner of the couch about 4 feet away. "Oh, not much. Planned on turning in a bit early. We got an early morning so I figured staying in my room was the best option." You roll your head back on the couch then lean into Mountain, who in turn wraps his arm around your shoulder. "Have a long day?" Cirrus asks from the floor. "Yeah and I practically had to peel Omega and Alpha off-" Suddenly Sodo is off the couch and leaving the room. "-so I could leave the ghoul pile. What's up with him?" You quickly finish and ask. The girls give each other a look. "Have you talked to him lately?" Aurora questions you. "No not really. I mean the occasional comment here and there but other than that not really." You answer. "Have you tried?"  Cumulus now questions. You turn your head to look at her. "No." "Why not?" She presses. "I'm not ready." Cumulus looks above you at Mountain. Mountain squeezes the arm around you. "Maybe you should so he stops moping around and being a dick." Swiss groans from his spot on the love seat.

    He's lying across it with one leg hanging over the back and his arm moving his eyes. "What do you mean moping around?" You inquire. Mountain speaks up. "He's been particularly moody since your fight and it doesn't seem to be getting better anytime soon." You settle further into his side. "Well at this point in pretty sure he resents me so." "I don't think it's that." Aurora tries to assure. "I don't know." You remark. Swiss sits up on the couch and looks at you. "(Y/N)." His voice was somewhat stern. "He's jealous. He has been this whole time." You stop and blink. You don't have to capacity to think about this right now. "I think I need to go to bed." With that, you stand from the couch and wander to your room. Finding your door open it and flip on the light. Stripping off the clothes from the day you shower. Forgoing washing your hair to avoid dry time you dress for bed.

     After about an hour of tossing and turning, you are finally on the edge of sleep. Instantly you are brought back by a knock on your door. You're tempted to ignore it. You wait to see if it'll happen again. Even though it doesn't happen again you roll out of bed. Padding over to the door you pull it open coming face to face who you suspected it to be. "Can I help you?" Silence. He just looks at you, but he doesn't say anything. His expression was unreadable.  "I'm going back to bed." You begin to close the door. He shoots his hand up to stop the motion. "Please don't close the door." You look back at him and scoff. "You know, at least it opened the door." A flash of guilt crosses over his face. "Can I come in?" You can't believe him. "Why would I let you in?" The man who had said horrible things about and to you. The one you let hurt you and you turned a blind eye. You should just shove the door shut and leave him there. Let him walk back to his room alone, yet here you are door still open waiting for him to say something. "I'm sorry." He says softly. You just stare at him. He looks you in the eye this time. "I'm sorry. I don't resent you." He was listening in. "I never meant for things to spiral the way they did. I got scared. I started feeling things I didn't know how to handle. I was afraid of you hurting me. Instead, I hurt us both and pushed you into someone else's arms." You almost laugh. "Okay. Okay. Wait. What do you mean another's arms?" He gives you an unimpressed look. "You reek of Omega most of the time." This time you do laugh. "You can't be serious. Are you?" He looks slightly embarrassed. "What?"  "I do love Omega, yes."  His face falls. "But, not in the way you are convincing yourself." He looks down and back up. "He's been my best friend. Him and Pebble. Especially after you hurt me. Which you did. You hurt me pretty bad." "I know. I'm sorry." "Sorry doesn't make what you did ok." "I know, but if you give me the chance I'd like to restart." You let out a long sigh and studied him. "I really shouldn't." He nods "You're probably right." You sigh again and open the door wider. "Get your ass in here."

  A fanged smile spread across his face and stepped in. "You're sleeping under your own blanket tonight." "I can work with that." You shake your head and close the door. "I'm still mad at you. We have a lot to talk through. " "I know." Crawling back in bed you curl up under your blanket and Sodo drags the extra blanket you keep up into the bed with him. Settling in facing each other you close your eyes. After a moment you open your eyes again to find him staring at you. "What?" You question. A flash of uncertainty and vulnerability can be seen. "I love you."

-

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

Chapter 5 is sent off! Chapter 6 started because damn I'm on a roll.

What is happening? 2 will be out this weekend with the chance of Chapter 5 coming too! It's been sent to be proofread and I'm waiting to hear back!

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

What is happening? 2 will be out this weekend with the chance of Chapter 5 coming too! It's been sent to be proofread and I'm waiting to hear back!

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

OK! So here's my plan! I'm working on the second part of "What is happening?" now, and then I'm doing part 5 of my Copia fic. After I have a plan to start a special fic but might save it for October. When I get a good portion of it done I'll post a snippet of it and let you guys decide.

Thank you to everyone who enjoys my work and is sticking around to read. I have a hard time staying motivated with life being as busy as it is but when I get a notification that someone liked/reblogged/commented it makes me so happy. Thank you again!

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

idk about yall but I've listened to skeleta and the vibe I'm getting from papa v is 'just left the catholic church, revelling in finally having an edgy rebellious teenager phase at the age of 55'

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

Listened to all of Skeletá....I'ma go cry in the corner now.

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

Papa emeritus IV X Ghoul!Mom!F!Reader

Chapter 4.

Word count: 3.8k

Lightly proof read

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You had stayed where Copia had left you, enjoying the peacefulness of the garden you had laid claim to. When you finally decided to turn in for the night, the moon set high in the sky. Sliding your feet down until they connect with the ground, you push yourself into a standing position. Dusting off any potential dirty from your clothing, you make your way to the dens.

Once you reach your destination, you push the solid wood door open. Quickly grabbing the necessary items, you slip into the motions of your nightly routine.

-------

The next day starts off well. You had slept pretty decent compared to other nights. Rolling out of bed, you begin the day. Stepping out of your room freshly dressed, you start off your Sunday. Dressing for the service you head to join the rest of the clergy in the chapel. It was not frequent that it was held this early in the day. Typically, it's an evening affair. It was posted days earlier that the time had changed, probably to accommodate other business happenings. As you watch Copia deliver the sermon, you can't help but think back to the night prior and the night to come. Your mind wandering. Afterward, you moved on to your normal duties. Cleaning the dens. Slowly but surely, you make your way around, cleaning each common room. The same pick up, clean, put away, and wipe down.

Making it to the Imperia den, always the last, you enter only to stop dead in your tracks. Scanning the room, you try to make note of anything needing attention. While most things were done rather sloppy, they were done. Walking across the room, straightening a blanket on the way you check the kitchen, too. Finding no mess, you're not quite sure what to make of it. You also had yet to see any of the residents of the particular den. Looking at the clock and reading it at ten, you had another two hours. You didn't have that many other chores to do with the rest of the day, so your schedule was rather vacant. Fixing some of the slightly out of place items, you try to think of something to busy yourself with.

Shutting the door behind you as you leave the den, you still were not sure what you wanted to do with the rest of your day. Maybe cleaning your own room. Satan knows it probably needs a touch-up. Cleaning for everyone else can leave you neglecting your own spaces you have learned, though still try to keep them somewhat tidy.

Entering your room, you make a mental checklist to follow. Starting with the floor, you go down the list. Bathroom, bedding change, laundry, then finally organizing your desk. Shifting through the various items you pick up a folder, a piece of paper coming loose in the process. Watching the paper flutter to floor it landing blank side up. Leaning forward in your chair to pick it up, you realize exactly what it is halfway up. Slouching back in your chair, you give a long pause, just absorbing what you're looking at. The paper was old, the edges yellowing and withering a bit as it ages. It's contents a stark reminder of the missing piece in your life. The sketch on the aged paper perfectly captured him as you remember. The boy with purple eyes that took up much of your thoughts.

His lanky limbs and shorter stature. He would be taller now, having surely grown into size. You wonder if his personality changed much in the time you've been separated. You have missed so much of him. You had no doubt he could take care of himself, but as a mother, you should have been there for him. Setting the paper down on your desk, you clasp your hand and look to the ceiling. Closing your eyes, you recall as many memories as you can.

Having lost yourself in your day dreams, you are startled into awareness by a firm knock on your door. Shifting to look at the door, you sigh, trying to tuck your feelings and memories neatly into that little box you've created in your mind. Standing you head to open the the door. Once opened, you met with Sodo's masked self. "You missed lunch." His tone was flat as he eyes you. "What time is it?" "Two in the afternoon." Genuinely surprised by his answer, you truly hadn't realized how much time had passed. "I guess I got busy. Lost track of time." He grunts in response but still studies you. "I'll get something once I'm finished, don't worry." You offer a soft smile. You catch the moment his eyes leave you, taking in the room behind you. "Nah, let's go get something to eat now." It's all he gives before turning around walking away. Watching his retreating form, you let out another sigh and begin to fallow.

Sodo led you straight to the Imperia den. Holding the door for you, he remains quiet. Once both of you were inside, he beelines for the kitchen. Flinging the fridge and the freezer open, he takes in the options. A yellow bag catches your eye. Quick and easy. "Want to share some pizza rolls?" You offer. He looks to the bag before grabbing it. "Pizza rolls it is." Grabbing a plate, he dumps a bunch on it. Shaking the plate, he shoves it in the microwave and punches the numbers in.

You take a seat at the island and rest your chin on your plam. "So what's been happening today?" You asked Sodo. He removes his mask balaclava, long blonde hail tumbling down his back. Setting them on the counter, he turns to face you, leaning on the same counter. He doesn't look to you when he answers. he just picks at his nails. "It's been average. Chores, practice, shit like that." You hum softly. "Well, that good at least it hasn't been a bad day for you." He finally looks to you, putting his hands behind him on the counter. "How about you?" "It's been ok. I got done with the dens earlier. Decided to clean up my own room." You pause a second. "Speaking of dens, your guys den was pretty much done when I got here." He chuckles. "Yeah, the girls thought that we should help out a bit more. Especially with the possibility of you having a later night than usual." He watches you, gauging your reaction. You tilt your head slightly to the side. "What do you mean?" He chuckles again. The microwave let out a beep at the same time. "Oh, come on. We know about the dinner plans. We helped. How did it go?" He moves to pull the plate out.

You smile, looking down. "It was just dinner as friends. There was no late night together or anything, and he ended up being called away. It was fun, tho. I enjoyed it." Setting the plate on the island to let the rolls cool, he continues to eye you. "Mhmm, just friends." You see his tail flick playfully. You giggle. "Truly! Just two friends having dinner." "Well I'm glad you enjoyed it. You deserve something nice." Your smile grows just a little bit wider as you give a mental nod. "So, not trying to break the mood, but are you doing ok?" His question through you off a bit. You weren't sure how to respond to him. Taking a few seconds to think you give him a "I'm ok. Why do you ask?". "Your whole demeanor was a bit off when I came to check on you. I don't know. You just seemed off, I guess." Again, you were left unsure. It was the second time in the last couple days that someone's been genuine in their questioning. You were so use to being unnoticed by others to this extent, something of your own doing. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just, um, found something that reminded me of a long time ago." You hoped this answer would safice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He reaches for a roll and pops it in his mouth. You reach for one yourself. "No, I think it's ok." He looks at you with the kindest look in his eyes. "Well, if you change your mind, I'll listen. You always listen to us. It's the least I can do." "Thank you, Sodo. Really. I truly appreciate you. All of you."

You both finish eating together, continuing simple conversation. Once finished, Sodo said he needed to help Mountain with a couple of things. Parting ways you return back to your room. Deciding to finish your desk, you put the sketch back in the folder.

-----

After grabbing dinner, you decide to head to the garden early. Heading towards Primo's old green house, you just take it in. You had been taking care of it since he's been gone. You spend a lot of time in this specific part of the garden. The siblings and the occasional ghoul work in the garden too, but tend to leave the green house be. It was just kind of an unspoken rule that it was essentially yours now. Grabbing the necessary items, you begin caring for the plants. Weeding, watering, and talking to them. Primo always said in helps them grow and stay healthy.

Eventually, the sun started to set, so you decided to stop for the day. Standing you take your gloves and brush off the best you can. Putting everything away, you go to sit on your newly placed bench and wait. The minutes tick by without a sign of the man. Looking to the sun, you see the sunset almost gone. You try to think back. You were fairly certain that he had said before dark. Maybe you are just being impatient. Fiddling with a fray in your shirt, you wait some more. The sky continues to darken with nothing. Your doubt begins to take root in your brain. What if he doesn't show up at all. He does have a ton going on. He could just be busy. You had seen the amount of papers that littered his office. That was only a portion of his duties as Papa. More time passes with your wait, baring no fruit, early night having fallen. You decide to make the trek back to your room, feeling the slightest bit dejected.

Once there, you press your back to the door, slide down, and take a couple of deep breaths. Feeling the sting of tears begin to form, you feel stupid for hoping. You're not sure where to go from here. Tired of being alone but being afraid of the hurt. It's a monster of your own making. You know this. You had tried, and you now feel the hurt. You know he is busy. He probably has a perfectly reasonable explanation. He doesn't owe you anything. You are a ghoul living in the abbey, and he is Papa. Knowing this doesn't stop you from feeling the bite of rejection. You bring your knees to your chest, grip your tail, and cry.

About 15 minutes into you wallowing in your self pity a knock sound on the door at your back. Jumping slightly, you quickly wipe off the remainder of your tears. Standing, you blow out a slow breath and compose yourself. Opening the door with a smile, you are met with the sight of Copia holding one of the bottles from yesterday. He is without his papal paints, his eyes looking more tired than usual. He looks wore all the way around. The first thing he noticed when you opened the door was your red and puffy eye, making him feel worse. "Fiore mio mi dispiace tanto. I had not meant to be so late." You could see the guilt he wore so openly on his face. You felt silly for feeling so upset. "Copia, you have nothing to be sorry about. I know you are busy, man. I understand that." He shakes his head. "No. I told you I'd be there and I wasn't. I cannot promise it won't happen again, but I will try my hardest to never let this happen." You give him a nod.

"It's ok, really. I understand." He smiles at you, looking down to the bottle and the back to you. "If it's not too late, would you like to share this with me?" "I would love that." You agree. "Would you like to, em, go my office, or the garden," He pauses, looking down bashfully. "Or even my room." He glances back up to gauge your reaction. "It's completely up to you. I want you to be comfortable, il mio fiore." "I gladly join you wherever you want to go. I'm not picky. You do look tired, so if you would like we could go to your room of office." You gentle offer.

Copia had decided on his room, agreeing to being quiet tired, but still wanting to spend time with you. You had changed into comfortable clothes and met him in the hall. "Ready, il mio fiore?" You offer a yes in reply. The trek across the abbey from the dens to Copia's room had been done in a comfortable silence. He held the door open for you, fallowing you in. "I'm am sorry for the mess. I normally don't have others in here." You take in your surroundings. The room was quite large. A couch and TV on one end and a large bed on the other. The bed was left unmade, and the room had various cluttered areas, but altogether felt homie and lived in. "It's really no problem at all, Copia." You move to stand in the middle, still looking around. He gestures to the well loved couch. "Ehm, would you like to, uh, sit. On the couch with me?" Smiling, you shuffle around the small coffee table and take a seat. Bringing your tail into your lap as you look to him. He hurriedly sits next to you with a healthy distance between.

Suddenly, the bottle became increasingly interesting to Copia. Fiddling with the corner of the label. "Um, maybe I should find us some glasses." Just as quickly as he had sat, he was back to standing. Rummaging in a small cart against the wall, he produces two crystal glasses along a bottle opener and sets them on the coffee table. "Okie-dokie. Not as fancy as wine glasses." Reclaiming his spot on the cushions, he opens the bottle. Pouring some of the dark colored liquid into each glass, he hands you one. "Thank you." You bring the glass to your lips and savor the slightly bitter taste of the red wine. "How was your day, Copia?" You attempted to spark conversion. "It was pretty typical. Organized and unorganized chaos. Tons of people down my throat. It is.... never ending. At least the service went well today, with everything. " He makes a motion with his hand to emphasize his statement. "What of you, mi flor?" He takes a sip from his own glass. "My day was fairly uneventful. The ghoul dens were pretty easy to clean. Your ghouls specifically had done most of the work for me. Sodo said it was to make my day easier because of a "potential long night"." You let out a giggle, relaxing back in the couch. "After that, I cleaned my own space, found a couple things that I hadn't seen for quite a while. Had lunch with Sodo. Gardened. That's about it for me."

That's more than you would normally say, but after your small meltdown, you think it's about time you actually start letting a small group of others in. Baby steps.

The corner of his mouth quirks up. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you. Both content to sip from your glasses and just be. Copia just observes you for a couple moments. He seems to gather some courage to break the silence. "I am truly sorry about not meeting you in the garden." His tone serious but still soft. When you meet his mismatched eyes, they hold a level of sincerity you had not been expecting. "I, uh, I'm not going to make excuses for my tardiness." Holding his gaze you start. "Its okay, I un-" He cuts you off before you can continue. He turns his body to face you more, his voice steady and firm. "But it's not okay. I saw the hurt it caused you. Nothing will change the fact that I was not there. Im not making excuses, and I don't need you to make them for me." He inhales deeply. "Being Papa is a big position, yes, but it doesn't put me above keeping my word." You were taken aback by his little outburst. Something pinches in your chest. He was just as distressed by him not being there as you were. This isn't the Copia you've been used to. The Copia you have grown to know over they years was extremely awkward and hesitant in a way. Not that you really actually knew him, but he has definitely grown more confident in himself as Papa.

You nod and slowly begin again. "Copia, you are important. Your role here is important. Things happen. You had things going on. Matters that I'm sure needed your attention." He opens his mouth to interjected again, looking a little less sure of himself. Holding up a hand, you effectively stop him. "I know your role here demands a lot from you. You don't owe any of us, the ghouls and the siblings as a whole, anything outside of what you already do for us. Yes, I was upset. I have my own my own set of issues to work through. It was not all your fault. I accept your apology." You can physically see him relax. It was as if the weight on his shoulders started crumbling a little at a time. "I will try my hardest not to let it happen again. If it does, I'll come find you when I can." You smile and send a wink playfully his way. "I'm holding you to that, Copia." He cracks a smile and looks to the glass insulator his hand. "You know," He looks back up to make eye contact. "Your advice from the other day goes both ways. You can ask for help. You don't have to go through your struggles alone. You have resources. " He holds his breath as he waits for you to respond to him.

He's right. It's part of what you've been fighting with yourself over. Letting others in. Feeling alone. Not having anyone to lean on for a long while. Not since Primo. It's been 5 years. In the grand scheme of your life, it was a blip. It feels like an eternity when you feel truly alone. Even when he was here, it was really only him at that point. Others having come and gone just the same, but he was a constant for 30 years. The strong friendship having formed in his late 20s. Probably the strongest you'd ever had, and here was his youngest brother. Lending a similar shoulder. You sure weren't going to waste it.

You let out a sigh and give a nod. "I suppose you're right. I just have a hard time." You give pause. "If you are willing to listen." The man before you give a soft nod, offering no words. "When you brother died, I felt so much devastation. He was my person." Copia felt really pain in his chest. The guilt unimaginable. They died because of him. So he could ascend to Papa. "I was lost. I was angry. I felt like he was stolen from me. I had never given it a second thought that one day, he wouldn't be there. I had to come to the realization that he was not as untouchable as I thought he was." You feel the sting of tears for the second time tonight. You continue to pour into him. "He was human. I'm not. And that's hurt. At that point, I'd had two very important figures in my life. I didn't want it to happen again." You wipe at the first set of tears to fall and look to the side. Copia remains unmoving, just taking in every word you spill. "I didn't want to feel the loss and pain that came with it. So I closed up. I was still kind but did my best to keep everyone at arms length. I keep my quintessince on a tight leash. I don't want to feel anyone else's emotions or affect anyone with it. Ghouls and humans alike. If no one got close, the chances of feeling that way were slim. But that presented challenges of its own." You wipe your face again. "I feel alone." You turn eyes back to him. You are met with eyes that held so many emotions.

The silence overtakes you again, but the eye contact never breaks. He finally moves. Setting down his glass, he brings his hands up to rid you of a few stray tears. He rests his hands on your cheeks. "You don't have to be." His voice is so soft it is barely audible. He brushes a few strands of hair out of your face. More tears streak down your face. It has been so unbearable easy to open up to him. "I'm scared." The corner of his mouth pulls taught. "It's ok to be scared. I'm scared all the time. I was scared to become Papa. Ho sempre paura di deludere tutti. I am scared of what my future holds." He let's go of your face and grabs his glass and the bottle. Topping off both glasses, he raises his own. "To being scared -" You decide then and hesitantly raise your glass. "Together." The clinking of the glasses sounds through the room. "Together." You whisper back. In that moment, a bond was formed. One you weren't entirely sure you were ready for, but there was no going back now.

----

After the toast, you shared memories of Primo and his brothers with Copia. You had started to really get to know him and his personality before you both eventually fell asleep on the couch. The next morning, you both scrambled to get to your respective duties.

That was 3 days ago. Copia sought you out every night after. Both of you talking about the day and the past. Tonight was no different. A movie played, the volume turned down low. You lay into the back cushions with your legs drawn up and your tail flicking lazily. Copia was slouched back with his arms above his head. He turns his head towards you, calling out softly. "Hey, il mio fiore, I was thinking." You turn to face him. "Whats up?" You could tell he was nervous. "I would like for you to be there, eh, tomorrow." You continue you look at him, your face one of confusion. Tomorrow? "At the summoning of the new ghoul." Oh.

-----

Ho sempre paura di deludere tutti - im always scared of disappointing everyone.

Fiore mio mi dispiace tanto - My flower I'm so sorry

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

Remember.

Primo x reader

Lightly proof read.

---

Just a day of remembering. And that's what you did. Remember. Making your way to Primos' old greenhouse, you take it in. You had been unable to enter it after he had died. Hurt too much. But today, you were going to face that hurt head-on. Pushing forward, you place your hand on the door handle, forcing the door open. An explosion of emotions rushes through you all at once. Sadness, joy, anger, and more. This is a place that used to bring such solace, which was now a source of distress. A constant reminder that the man you loved so deeply was gone.

   This angered you to no end. Distress was never a feeling associated with your lover. Never should be. He was gentle, kind, and just plain good to you. You were angry because you let it become this.

   You step into the structure, absorbing everything about it. From the dirt strung about to the tools still set out as if he was going to come back any moment to utilize them. You remember. The joy Primo got from his small sanctuary. The escape. You could sit in here or in the garden and just existing together for hours. You remember. The first time he made love to you was on his workbench in this very building. He had kissed you as if he could never get enough of you. Had told you just how much he had grown to adore you. It wasn't to most romantic spot but it was undeniably Primo.

   You remember. The day he taught you to care for the garden. The names of the pants, what they did, and if they produced. You remember the love he had for this building and everything in and around it. You remember, and you decide. You decide today is the day you reclaim it all. The love, the joy, and even the sadness. It is yours. This place and the memories it holds. Because it is him. Whether or not he is here physically. He is here in this greenhouse, in the plants, and in the dirt. He is.

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

two autistic twins and one has a rat hyperfixation and the other thinks he’s a vampire… god bless sister imperator 💔

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

Small little sneak peek at part 4 of my copia x mom ghoul.

----

Shifting through the various items you pick up a folder, a piece of paper coming loose in the process. Watching the paper flutter to floor it landing blank side up. Leaning forward in your chair to pick it up, you realize exactly what it is halfway up. Slouching back in your chair, you give a long pause, just absorbing what you're looking at. The paper was old, the edges yellowing and withering a bit as it ages. It's contents a stark reminder of the missing piece in your life. The sketch on the aged paper perfectly captured him as you remember. The boy with purple eyes that took up much of your thoughts.

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

Apparently, my sister found my tumblr. No comments are made with ill intent. 😂

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

What is happening?

Sodo x ghoul!reader

Word count: 1,100

TW: angst?, cussing

Lightly proof read

-

You had been part of the band for some time now. You had become fairly close to everyone in the band, but with a certain ghoul, the relationship was different. In public or around others, you were still seemingly always at each others throats.

   The words shared between the two of you are always hateful. You did everything in your power to piss him off, but the moment you both were behind closed doors the entire dynamic changes. He took his time putting you in your place. He was not gentle during these times, but you loved it.

   The other ghouls could constantly smell him on you. Everyone could see the marks littering your body that Sodo had meticulously placed. There was no doubt on what was happening. No one had really questioned it. Only assuming it was a sort of hate fucking that was taking place.

   They weren't entirely wrong. It had started out that way, but the time that was spent together after was what had actually sparked the bond the two of you now shared. The time when he would clean you up, kiss your forming brusies, and talk to you. The actual conversation you shared that didn't involve insults or trying to get under each other's skin. You both learned so much about the other. To an extent, he is yours, and you are his, but you're not entirely sure what you guys are.

   Things have been slowly shifting. The fragile relationship being tested from both sides. The last month or so, he had grown some what quite. Quick to agitation and anger. He more frequently becomes moody and shuts you out to a degree or lashes out verbally. What started as a rare accurance behind closed doors has suddenly taken root in your time together. You being stubborn give it right back, which fuels his fire. On more than one occasion, his words and his blatant disregard for your feelings have cut deep. You try your hardest not to let it get to you.

   Currently, you were making your way through the halls of abbey with Rain, Phantom, Swiss, and Sodo. Mountain had asked for help in the garden when everyone one was done with their chores. Staying pretty much uninvolved in the conversion, you walked beside sodo on the outside of the group. Slowing ever so slightly you wait for a moment. While he's distracted, you discreetly reach for his tail. Giving it a tight yank, then quickly retreat. His ear press back and he immediately whirls in your direction, hissing.

   Realizing what transpired the others break out in laughter. "You little brat." Sodo growls. As he reaches out to grab you by the arm, you bolt down the corridor. "Get back here right fucking now." He hollers out, following you. "Man, you must've done something if she's resorting to tail pulling." Swiss chuckled out. "No, she just lives to piss me off." Sodo replied, watching you circle back around to hide behind mountain through narrowed eyes. He would get you back later. "She's gotten good at it too. Seems like you two are always going back and forth about something." Rain snorts out.

   'She's just a fucking menace. I can't help that she is the way she is. I'm not going to just let it slide!" Sodo defends, raising his arm in your direction. "You make it so easy! Quite being an asshole, I wouldn't need to." You speak up from beside mountain. He offers his arm, to which you happily accept. Linking arms, you and mountain start at a steady pace. If looks could kill the look Sodo shot mountains way would send him back to the pit. Letting out a breath he follows behind.

---------

   The day drug on after helping in the garden you had wondered off through the halls. On your journey through the halls, you meet up with some of the other ghouls who live in the abbey. You have become familiar with some of them as of late. Specifically, the meliora era ghouls. Omega and you have had several conversations. He seems a bit lonely compared to the rest.

  Omega is the first to note your presence. "Hey (Y/N)." You offer a smile in greeting. "Hi!"

"What are you up to?" "Nothing much. Just strolling the halls. What about you guys?" It's Alpha that replies this time. "We were just about to go find something to eat. Want to join?" Your smile widens a bit before nodding. "Yeah, I'll join."  You feel eyes on you from behind. Turning, you see Sodo standing at the corner of the ajoining halls. His back rim rod straight and tail trashing.

   Turning back to the small group to tell them that you'll be right back. Making your way to where he was previously standing, Sodo is nowhere in sight. Giving a confused look around, you walk back to join the group.

---------

   After the day started to wind down, you patiently waited to Sodo's knock. You two rarely slept in separate beds at this point, having become so accustomed to sleep near each other. He seemed to favor your room over his own.

   While doing your nightly routine, the time started to creep by with still nothing. You look to the clock. You had turned in a bit earlier than normal with it only being 9pm. You pick your current read, crawl into your nest of pillows, and continue waiting.

     After 3 more hours, you give up waiting. Setting everything aside, you get up and head for the dens common room. You find Phantom and Cumulus watching tv. Phantom sprawled across the corner of the larger couch that occupied the room. Cumulus on the floor. "Hey" You call out. "Hey, (Y/N)" "Hey, what's up?"  Niether look away from the tv. "Have you seen Sodo?" "Yeah. He turned in about an hour ago." Phantom replies. Both heads turned to look your way. "Oh. Okay" you give back. A frown crosses over your features. You decide to go check his room.

   Coming face to face with his door, you know he's inside. His smell is stronger. You rasp your knuckles against the wood. The room remains silent. You knock again and again, nothing. You try quietly calling out his name with no change. Standing there for a second, racking your brain for an explanation. Had something happened. Come to think of it, you had seen much of him after the garden. Had pulling his tail been too much today? After a minute or so passed with silence, you turn on your heels to make your way back to your room alone.

-

Part 2?

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

Hey guys! I'm not sure who's all still hanging around, but I'm alive (surprisingly). The last year and a half have been hell. I'm sorry that i just kinda disappeared. I never planned to abandon my works and still don't. I will get around to it, i promise. Just give me grace as things finally start to even out in my life. I appreciate everyone who enjoys my work, and I will be updating soon!

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

Welp.... here we are!

Saw this going around twitter, looked like fun. What? I'm not procrastinating (I am, I really am)

Make this picrew of yourself

Take this uquiz

Post the results side-by-side. No pressure tags: @alypink, @revnah1406, @madefordvarka, @deadbranch, @welldonekhushi, @kaitaiga, @applbottmjeens, @froglights-and-pearls

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

Lifetime

Terzo x Reader

-

Word count: 300

Warnings: death

Note: This is loosely based on the song Lifetime by Three Days Grace.

-

Your chest hurt. You felt like you couldn't breath. As you stand alone in this room looking at your lover, unmoving in a casket of glass. A pained scream pierced the air. Was it yours? You didn't know. Your knees gave way, and gravity pulled you to the marble flooring. "Why?" You cry out. "I wasn't supposed to lose him! Why did he have to be taken from me? I never got to apologize!" Your wails bounced off the walls and carried down the hall. Dragging yourself closer to him, you touch the glass. You just wanted to hold him.

You had an argument that morning. A stupid little petty one. You both said things you shouldn't have. Both had parted ways without resolving your quarrel, having duties to attend to. You had intended to talk it over when you had supper. That supper would never happen now. Did he die thinking you hated him? Was he mad at you while taking his last breaths? These thoughts had more gut-reaching cries leaving your body.

Heavy footsteps rush into the room. The form hurriedly makes its way to you. Strong arms wrap around your form and pull you close. "Omega." You bury your face in his chest. "They took him from me! What am I supposed to do? I thought I'd have him for my lifetime. I need him to wake up, 'mega! I was never supposed to lose him! I never got to apologize. I need him to know I'm sorry!" He just sat there rocking you as your heart broke apart, and your lover lay in eternal rest.

-

Short and sweet. I might make a longer version of this later. As always, I appreciate any feedback! Requests are open!

[nameless-ghoul-trash]

Papa emeritus IV X Ghoul!Mom!F!Reader

Part 3

-

Word count: 2.3

Lightly proofread

Warnings: Cussing

Part 2 / Part 4

-

The last two days had seemed the drag by. Your dinner plans constantly on your mind. It had caused several emotions to rotate through you. From anxiety to excitement, it seemed like a never-ending cycle.

Currently, you felt more anxiety than anything as you made your way towards his office. You had spent the last hour going through your closest. Trying to decide what you wanted to wear was harder than you'd have originally thought. You didn't want to just wear your everyday uniform. After going through every piece of clothing you owned, which turns out it wasn't a lot, you had opted for a simple black dress/romper. Doing some light makeup and wearing your hair down.

Coming face to face with his office door, your nerves were eating you alive. It had been so long since you had been in a situation like this, by your own choice. Pushing through, you knocked. The door opened before you had finished, a nervous-looking Copia on the other side. At least you weren't alone. Taking in his appearance, you note the nice black button-up and black slacks. He's not wearing his papal paints though. Just the 2 rings around his eyes and his upper like done. He looks good. "(Y/N)! You are here." He cringed into himself at his awkwardness. You give him a soft smile, trying to calm his nerves and yours. "Please come in, il mio fiore!" He stepped to the side and opened the door wider to let you in. "Thank you, again, for inviting me." Your smile had yet to fall. "Thank you for coming." He countered, gracing you with a meek smile of his own.

Scanning the room, it had changed since you had last seen it. It was tidier. There was now a decent sized square table, adorned with a variety of different foods, that now sat in the normally empty space. With quick steps, Copia moved to pull out a beautiful ornate chair for you. "Please sit!" Taking your seat you thank him. Waiting for him to take his place, you remove your mask. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I had a couple of different options made. So please help yourself!" He motioned to the table. Doing a quick scan of the prepared foods, your eyes immediately land on your favorite. Copia takes a mental note as you begin to dress your plate quietly. He finally takes a moment to just take you in. "You look absolutely stunning tonight, il mio fiore." He said it as if he was completely enamored by you, which in turn causes your face to immediately flush hot.

Making eye contact, you both sit with an awkward air surrounding the two of you for a couple of heartbeats. You let out a small giggle. You felt like a human teenager. "Thank you, Copia. You don't look so bad yourself." He flashed a small smile, and his eyes brightened. Breaking his eyes away, reaching for an already open bottle. "Ehh, would you like some wine?" He motioned to the empty glass to your right. "Yes, thank you." Sliding the glass closer to him, he began to pour the pale pink liquid. "How has your day been?" He asked, push the glass back and filling his own. "It has been good. Pretty normal. How was yours? Anything exciting?" You bring your glass to your lips and savor the taste. It was light and sweet with a lovely berry flavor.

"It has been okay. Lots of paperwork and band work mainly." He talks while dressing his plate. The silence falls back into place as you both begin to eat. It continues that way till Copia notices you glass empty. "More wine?" He offers. "Yes, thank you!" You smile politely, and he fills your cup. "So, what is it like being Papa for you?" You were curious. "It's a lot, honestly. There is always something that needs to be done or someone who needs me. Sono sempre stanco, but I make due. The other Papa's had made it look so easy." You chuckle. "It was not easy for them by any means, I can tell you that. They all had their own struggles."

"Were you close to all of them?" You take a sip before you answer. "I suppose in some ways. I've been around for a long time. I essentially got to watch them grow into the men they were. I even got to see Papa Nihil in his youth. I was probably closest to Primo out of all of them. Though most people have pieced that together. Even in his younger years, we just kinda clicked." Copia soaked up every word. He enjoyed learning about you and what you had to share. A sadness rang through his heart at the discovery, though. You had been close to his brothers. Brothers who are long gone from this earth. "What was it like?" The question confused you. "Was what like?" "Knowing them. What were they like? I never got the chance to know them beyond surface level." Studying his face, you let out a sigh. It hurt to think about them, but didn't he deserve to know who they really were? "Primo was strong-headed and passionate about his hobbies. He loved his garden fiercely and took his duties very seriously, but he had a sense of humor. He listened with such intensity and gave the best advice." You took another sip from your glass before continuing.

"Secondo was similar in ways but so different. He was wild in his off time. Confident. While he was Papa, he was strict. Terzo was wild, too. He was flashy, flirty, and flamboyant. He probably struggled with being Papa the most out of the three. Not that he didn't try." Sometimes Copia wasn't the best at hiding what he felt. This was one of those times, everything showing on his face. "Are you okay?" Your question seemed to catch him off guard. "Like really okay?" Giving a small smile, he nods. "Sí, il mio fiore. Why do you ask?" "Just asking. Sometimes, it's good to check with people." He quieted for a second, looking at you. "Are you okay, il mio fiore?" You opened your mouth to say something along the lines of 'I'm fine' but stopped yourself, pressing your lip together. You hadn't expected him to turn it back on you. You hold contact with his mismatched colored eyes.

This was an opportunity to talk to someone. To let someone know what you feel, but also an opportunity to get hurt. It was an opportunity to build an attachment that would inevitably end. Leaving you alone again. Could you take that risk? Would you even allow yourself? When you had lost Primo, it had been so hard. He had been your best friend for so long. Could you do that again? You already felt too close to some of Copia's ghouls, but even then there is a difference between a ghoul and a human. A tight feeling forms in the back of your throat as you try to hold your emotions in. You could feel your eyes grow watery. It was overwhelming. Having all these questions for yourself but no answers. 'You know, I honestly don't know.' Is what you should say. Be honest with him.

"I guess I manage." It wasn't a lie. His eyes lingered on you as if he could sense the inner turmoil but did not press. Shifting your attention back to your plate, you take a couple of bites. "Tell me about what being on tour is like." He perked up at the topic change. "Oh! Touring is both fun and exhausting. Getting to see different people and places, but it moves so fast." You listen intently as you eat. "When I am on stage, I can be confident and myself. I can mess with the ghouls, and they mess back. The crowds love it. It feels good. Sleeping on the bus isn't great. It's probably my least favorite part. " You give a chuckle at that. "You said being on stage makes you confident?" "Yes. I could say or do practical anyway, and the fans would eat it up." He makes a nom nom nom sound that causes you to laugh. "Sometimes, it feels like I have to keep up the raunchiness, but that's not hard." He wiggled his eyebrows, and you both laugh. "I bet."

As the laughter died down, Copia spoke up. "I have a bit of a, eh, personal question." Smiling, you nod, encouraging him to talk. "What was it like when you were summoned?" That was probably the last question you thought would be asked. "Oh, umm." "You don't have to answer if you don't want to!" He quickly amended, sensing the shift. "No. No, it just kind of took me by surprise. It wasn't - " You pause leaning back in your chair. "It wasn't good. I was summoned by Papa Nihals' grandfather in 1894. They were very inexperienced. Still trying to figure us ghouls out. When I was pulled from the pit, I was pulled away from everything I knew. I had to leave those important to me. I was confused and scared. It was all so different from what I'm used to. Even time moves differently. Unlike now, I had no one to help me understand. " Copia kept his eyes glued to you, listening to every word with intensity. "I was "farel". I attacked and killed 3 men that night. What did they expect? You back someone into a corner and expect it to go well. Doesn't work that way." You watch him, gauging his reactions to the information you were giving him.

Copia was hardly fazed. You were a ghoul. He had been around enough throughout his life to know better. "They kept me locked away from the majority of the clergy and siblings of sin. The rest of the summoned ghouls seem to have adjusted fairly quickly. It took me four years to come to terms with what was now my life." Copia was still processing it all. "I'm sorry. That must have been hard." You shrug. "Shit happen. It was a long time ago. Just make sure you are understanding of the new ghoul." You began to fill your glass again only for it to not even fill a quarter of the way. "Looks like we went through that fast." You laughed out. "Want to go for a walk and snag some from the good stash?" Copia asked with a look in his eyes that was new to you. Something akin to mischief. "Hell yeah!" You stand, swallowing the leftover wine in your glass and don your mask. Copia follows. "Let's go."

Leaving his office, Copia leads the way. Fallowing close behind you notice, he's not heading towards the celler. No. He leads you straight to Sister Imperators office. "No way." You look at him with wide eyes. He flashes another mischievous look and pulls out a set of keys. Unlocking the door, he quietly makes his way into the room. "Keep a look out. Wouldn't want to get caught." There was an underlying snicker in his voice. You kinda liked this new side of him. It was playful. You look both ways down the hall as he goes straight to a wood cabinet in the corner and pulls out 2 bottles from the back. "Let's get out of here." He scurried back out of the room, handing the bottles to you so he could lock the door. You definitely felt like a human teenager. Grabbing one back, he makes quick strides down the hall and in the direction of the door that leads to the garden. He looks back to you. "I have something I want to show you." Holding the door open, he waits for you to exit.

Once you're both outside, he grabs your hand and tugs you in the direction of the out edge of the garden. Coming to a full stop at the herb beds, you notice some new additions. A brand new stone bench sets in front of the lemon grass, which butts up against Primo's greenhouse. On either side of the bench are pots filled with (favorite flower).

This is your spot. You often come out here at night to think or spend some time alone. Turning to face him, you see him watching you. "You did this? How did you know?" His ears and neck flush, and he brings his hand up to rub the back of his neck. "As much as I would love to take credit, no. I didn't do it alone. I employed the help of my ghouls on this one. Sodo and Mountain mainly." You surge forward and pull him into a hug. "Thank you." He slowly hugged you back. "Sei il benvenuto, fiore mio." Pulling away, he gave you a smile.

Walking over to the bench, you plop down and pat the spot beside you, smiling back. As he was sitting down, another voice rang out across the garden. "Papa!" Groaning softy, he stands back up. "Sí?" Before too long, a Sister makes her way over, handing him a letter. "Papa, Sister Imperator has requested you meet her in her office." "Yes. Tell her I will be there shortly." Nodding the Sister turns and leaves. "Unfortunately, our time has been cut. Il mio fiore, please forgive me." Offering him a small smile, you reassure him. "It's alright. I understand." "Would you like me to hide these for another time?" He holds up the bottle in his hand. "I would love that." You hand him yours. "Goodnight, Il mio fiore." "Goodnight Copia."

A sadness spread through your chest as the feeling of loneliness came creeping back. Watching him turn away just made it worse. Before you knew it, your body reacted, reaching out and griping his wrist. A thought shot across your mind. What are you doing? Your actions seemed to startle him as he looked back at you. "Will you come back here? Tomorrow night? To meet with me?" You ask, desperately wanting him to say yes. "Of course. Right before dark. I'll be here." With that, you let his wrist go, and he walked away. With him out of eyesight, you bring your knees to your chest, wrap your tail around them, and enjoy sometime in the garden.

-

sono sempre stanco- I am always tired.

Sei il benvenuto, fiore mio.- You are very welcome, my flower

-

If at least one part of this gave you second hand embarrassment, then I portrayed the akwarkness the way I wanted to. Sorry it took so long to get this one out. I spent like 3 hours one day trying to work out dates for when (Y/N) would have been summoned and rewrote this part like twice. Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed the read. As always, feedback and requests are always appreciated and encouraged.

-

Tags

@maddie-21-skye

@seestorpopia31

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