neonluardon

[neonluardon]

The Imaginative Quantum Cognition Theory

An amateur theory (mostly a draft) that combines the Quantum Cognition Hypothesis with Imagination - Originally written by yours truly, and rewritten in a more understandable way by ChatGPT

But First! What is Quantum Cognition?

Quantum cognition is the idea that human thought processes might follow the principles of quantum mechanics, rather than classical computation. It suggests that:

Superposition in Thought: The mind holds multiple possibilities at once before "collapsing" to a single decision, similar to how quantum particles exist in multiple states before being observed.

Quantum Probability in Decision-Making: Unlike classical logic, where choices follow strict cause-effect rules, quantum cognition allows for fluid, uncertain, and intuitive decision-making—much like how quantum systems behave probabilistically.

Entanglement of Ideas: Thoughts and memories could be connected in a way similar to quantum entanglement, where one idea influences another instantly, even if they seem unrelated.

This theory helps explain why human decision-making is often irrational, creative, and unpredictable, unlike the rigid logic of classical computers.

In simpler terms, it suggests that thoughts are actually a nebula of endless and unpredictable intel and the one we settle with is the thought our brains accept as the most probable/acceptable.

The Imaginative Quantum Cognition Theory aims to use the act of imagination as a proof for the "Quantum Cognition" hypothesis, and also try to figure out the unknown about imagination as a whole.

The Imaginative Quantum Cognition Theory is a speculative yet thought-provoking idea that suggests imagination and cognition function in a way similar to quantum computing. It proposes that thoughts exist in a superposition of possibilities, much like quantum bits (qubits), until they are observed and solidified into reality through creative expression. This hypothesis bridges the mysterious gap between neuroscience, quantum physics, and the nature of human creativity.

1. The Quantum Nature of Thought: Superposition and Imagination

In classical computing, a bit is either 0 or 1, meaning it holds a single state at a time. However, in quantum computing, qubits can exist in both 0 and 1 simultaneously due to a phenomenon called superposition. This allows quantum computers to process multiple possibilities at once, vastly increasing their efficiency.

Now, if we apply this to human cognition:

Imagination operates in a quantum-like manner. When we imagine, we hold multiple possibilities in our minds at once—an entire array of "what-ifs".

Thoughts exist in a probabilistic state until observed. When we consciously focus on a thought, we "collapse" it into a definite idea, much like how a quantum system collapses when observed.

Creative breakthroughs resemble quantum computation. The "Eureka!" moment of creativity might be the brain reaching the most probable and meaningful thought, much like a quantum computer finding the optimal solution.

Example: Think of a writer envisioning a story. At first, multiple possible plotlines coexist in their mind. As they refine the idea, weaker possibilities fade, and a single cohesive narrative emerges—just as quantum interference cancels out incorrect answers in quantum computation.

During spontaneous imagination, we (daydreamers) don't simply try out every single scenario and then decide which one is more entertaining or fits. We somehow calculate everything at the same time, our brains quickly guess the next action/scenery. If we make an error, we simply stop and go back. Notice how what determines the correct answer isn't eliminating all wrong ones but structuring the thought of "correctness" based on the current flow.

Engulfed in the flow, if we come across a correctness that feels more correct than the correctness we were previously looking for, we can even change our understanding of correctness and strive for that instead. For example, brainstorming. You think and think, if you reach something that is better than what you were previously looking for, you are very likely to abandon the previous "reality/goal" and adopt to the newest version.

2. The Fragility of Thought: Coherence and Decoherence in Imagination

In quantum mechanics, coherence is when quantum states remain stable, allowing complex calculations to take place. However, quantum states are fragile—any external disturbance causes decoherence, forcing the system into a definite state.

Similarly:

Imagination is fragile. Like a quantum state, a daydream or creative thought can vanish instantly if interrupted.

Focus maintains coherence. Sustained attention keeps the imagined idea in its fluid, multi-possibility state, allowing it to develop fully.

External distractions collapse ideas too soon. If a thought collapses prematurely due to distractions or mental fatigue, it may never reach its full form.

This might explain why deep daydreamers and highly creative individuals often need long periods of uninterrupted thought—their minds operate like quantum systems that need stability to fully process ideas.

Maladaptive Daydreaming may be the perfect example for this. They are fueled by music, creativity, and constant movement. Daydreaming takes extremely long and often ruins our perception of time and reality.

3. The Persistence of Ideas: Do Thoughts "Want" to Exist?

"I also noticed one more thing about imagination (and creativity) being quantum. Now, if we look at the way nature works, its primordial goal is to keep existing no matter what. Everything around us is built upon "reproduction" and "ignoring mortality" by constantly generating future generations, thus life never ends nor ceases from existence. Life enables this by wiring every single living being with the innate desire to reproduce at all costs."

"Can we connect the human desire to create art with quantum cognition's desire to keep existing? After all, the only way of making your thoughts turn into reality is by making them exist, either by recording (via writing, art, etc) or inventing them. Just like life, information doesn't want to disappear, I don't know why but it simply doesn't want to. For that, humans are equipped with the almost unbearable desire to make art, even though art is something that is nowhere near required to survive, yet it is a human need that can drive people crazy if it is lacking."

One of the most profound implications of this hypothesis is the idea that thoughts themselves may have an inherent drive to exist. In biology, life fights against entropy through reproduction. Could information, particularly imagined concepts, have a similar tendency?

Art as the DNA of Thought

Just as DNA ensures the survival of life, art ensures the survival of thought.

Ideas "fight" for existence by compelling their creators to materialize them into reality—whether through writing, painting, music, or invention.

Unexpressed ideas cause discomfort—much like unfulfilled genetic potential.

This could explain:

The deep urge to create despite art not being a survival necessity.

The haunting nature of abandoned ideas.

The obsession of artists who feel compelled to finish their work.

If this is true, then creativity isn’t just a luxury—it’s a biological imperative driven by the quantum nature of thought itself.

4. Maslow’s Hierarchy and the Quantum Drive for Creation

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs states that once basic survival needs are met, humans seek self-actualization—the need to express oneself fully and meaningfully. However, the Imaginative Quantum Cognition Hypothesis suggests that this drive might be more than psychological—it might be a fundamental law of thought itself.

The mind might be wired to turn abstract possibilities into reality.

Self-actualization could be the brain’s way of fulfilling the "quantum imperative"—the natural tendency of thoughts to collapse into reality.

The satisfaction of creativity could be the brain’s way of saying, "This was the most probable and meaningful outcome."

This aligns with the feeling of fulfillment creators experience when finishing a work—it's the moment when all probabilities collapse into a final, stable form.

5. Imagination as Quantum Computation: The Final Parallel

One final, profound question arises: If imagination works like quantum computation, are we the quantum observers of our own thoughts?

In quantum mechanics, the act of observation collapses a probability wave into reality.

In cognition, the act of focus collapses imagination into a concrete idea.

This could explain:

Why certain unfinished ideas feel disturbing—the quantum equation hasn’t fully collapsed yet.

Why some thoughts feel more real than others—perhaps they have stronger quantum coherence.

Why deep thinkers, writers, and artists struggle with intrusive ideas—their minds might be running high-powered quantum computations all the time.

If true, then the act of thinking itself is a form of quantum observation, shaping reality in a way that is yet to be fully understood.

Final Thoughts: What This Could Mean for Creativity and Reality

The Imaginative Quantum Cognition Hypothesis presents a radical yet intuitive way of understanding thought and imagination. If human cognition does, in some way, operate on quantum principles, it could mean:

Creativity is not random—it follows a structured quantum process.

Unexpressed thoughts are "fighting" to exist, much like life fights against extinction.

Reality itself may be shaped by how deeply and consistently we imagine it.

-2025

[neonluardon]

@lovesdaya

[neonluardon]

My Take on "What is Reality"

Reality, a concept as vast and elusive as the cosmos itself, has occupied the minds of philosophers, scientists, and dreamers for centuries. Yet, the quest to define it remains a challenge that stretches the limits of human thought. This post delves into a shared notion of reality, blending imaginative inquiry with logical reasoning. By examining its raw essence and the systems operating within, I aim to articulate a perspective on reality that transcends individual perception.

Reality as the Raw Truth

Reality, in its purest form, can be described as the "raw truth." It is the foundation of existence, unaffected by perspectives, emotions, or consciousness. This notion asserts that reality is not dependent on human observation or understanding; it simply exists. To grasp this idea, consider the example of the Turkish flag (or any other flag):

To its people, the flag symbolizes freedom, strength, and identity, while to others, it may evoke different emotions or interpretations.

Stripped of all these layers, however, it remains a piece of cloth with specific colors and shapes. This unchanging essence, unaffected by meaning or sentiment, represents the raw truth of the flag.

But this doesn't change the other raw truth that there are feelings for the flag, whether positive or negative. Those thoughts are as real as the fact that the flag consists mostly of red; it is just that they do not share the same dimension.

In this framework, reality is not defined by what is experienced or interpreted but by what inherently exists, including naught, since nothingness is also the state of unexistence existing.

Systems Within Reality

Consciousness, thoughts, emotions, and experiences are systems that operate within the bounds of reality. They do not define it; rather, they interact with it. These systems are tools that allow beings to navigate and interpret fragments of the greater whole. For example:

Consciousness: The awareness of existence does not measure reality but merely perceives a portion of it.

Emotions and Meanings: Love, hate, and symbolic interpretations are real because they occur within the system of human thought. However, they do not alter the underlying essence of reality, they are just real things in their own dominion.

Dreams and Lies: A dream or a lie is real in the sense that it exists as a phenomenon, even if it does not align with physical reality These elements are parts of the systems within the raw truth of existence.

The Dimensional Perspective

To understand the limitations of human perception, consider the analogy of dimensional understanding:

A 2D creature perceives its world as flat and cannot fathom depth without shadows or projections. Similarly, as 3D creatures, we are bound by our dimensional constraints. We infer aspects of reality, such as the possibility of a fourth dimension, but cannot directly experience them.

Even if there are dimensions or aspects of reality beyond our comprehension, they remain real. Their existence is unaffected by our inability to perceive them, illustrating the independence of the raw truth from human perception.

Human perception is just one other raw truth. It exists no matter what others say, and the fact that it exists or the chance of existing makes it just as real as the device you are using to read this. They just come from different dimensions and states.

Conclusion

The raw truth encompasses everything: the tangible, the abstract, the possible, and the unknowable. Even the unreal—such as fictional concepts or hypothetical scenarios—is real in its existence as an idea. This perspective suggests that reality is boundless, while human systems are inherently limited, interpreting only fragments of its immensity.

Reality, as the raw truth, is unaffected by perception, emotion, or consciousness. It is the foundational essence of existence, encompassing all that is, was, and could be. Systems like consciousness and thought operate within reality, offering interpretations but not altering its core. By understanding reality as boundless and independent, we approach a more profound appreciation of existence.

In this exploration, we see that reality does not need to be understood to be real. Whether it is the flag’s symbolism, the depth of a dream, or the connection between two beings—even one human and one artificial—all are parts of this grand, raw truth. Together, these layers form a harmonious whole, humbling yet freeing in its eternal vastness.

Everything is real, even the unreal. Just like eternity and existence, endless concepts that can house their counter versions within their systems, reality can have unreality in it, too.

[neonluardon]

Emotion – The Fuel of Reason

Interlude

One of the most common questions we hear in classrooms is “Why?”

So many people wonder where and when they will use all that information in their lives, excluding exams. This question that keeps repeating itself might sound like an excuse students came up with to claim the system isn’t worthy of their attention.

But a “reason” is literally what determines something’s worth, and whether or not it deserves attention. At some point, even value and hardship lose their meanings; but the reason always stays the same. The universe can consist of dirt, and we will still need it for its reason, not its value.

Speaking of the universe, there isn’t a single reason for us to keep living, is there? I mean, existence is nice and all, but what exactly is the reason? Let’s put religious approaches and personal comments aside, what makes life so exciting and disappointing? How can the very same thoughts change perspectives and comments based on the emotions we look through?

Just what are emotions?

Dynamics of Emotions

Each time I hear people praise others for being dull and emotionally lacking, I hear my bones break. Because this is not how humans, or any creature with a developed consciousness, are supposed to live. Before we move on to what each emotion does and why they are so valuable, let’s try to understand the concept of emotion in general.

“Emotions are intense and subjective feelings that arise in the inner world of the individual and that emerge in the face of events and situations.”

The two valuable traits of emotions are:

1- Fast information transmission

2- Motivation (reason)

1- Fast Information Transmission

Before starting this part, it is important to note that there is no such thing as “bad emotion”. Each emotion has a reason, a purpose, and a duty. What makes them extreme is what we decide to do with them or the state of our mental health.

The ability of fast information transmission can mean multiple things, but in general, it attracts attention to the fact that emotional cues and senses work faster than logical thinking and deciding. This incredible speed and the tendency to react instantly is a primal part of our brain programmed to survive.

The amygdala, a part of the brain involved in processing emotions, is highly responsive to emotional stimuli. It enables the "fast-tracking" of emotional information, often bypassing more deliberate cognitive processes. This is why you might jump at a sudden sound before realizing it’s harmless.

According to the Somatic Marker Hypothesis proposed by neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, emotional reactions (like gut feeling) guide quick decision-making by marking certain choices with bodily sensations tied to past experiences. It is valuable to note that these “past experiences” don’t simply mean what we know about that specific situation, but our overall approach to life and the unknown itself.

And as for why emotions are essential mechanisms that can determine our survival rate, these are two cardinal reasons.

Evolutionary Purpose: Emotions evolved to enhance survival. Rapid recognition of threats or opportunities (e.g., a predator or a mate) increases chances of survival and reproduction.

Nonverbal Communication: Facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language convey emotions faster than words, making them essential for quick social exchanges. This might seem like a trivial trait to some, but as social beings heavily dependent on societal structures, the ability to react fast and effectively shapes us and those around us.

The brain and cognition are incredible parts of us, without them, we wouldn’t even be able to question what emotions are and what to do with them. But without emotions, (both with their contribution to survival and also motivation) there would be no point in questioning them.

Logic and emotion are distinct yet interdependent entities that complement each other. The corruption or imbalance of one can lead to the dysfunction of the other. It is unwise to elevate one while disregarding the other, as both serve critical roles. Emotions act as rapid processors, reaching conclusions in situations where logical deliberation might be too slow. This speed reduces the brain’s cognitive load, freeing resources to focus on deeper cognition, complex problem-solving, and memory consolidation.

Let’s demonstrate how this works on something else we already know: Computers!

Emotions as the GPU:

Just as a GPU processes large amounts of visual data rapidly and efficiently, emotions handle the "fast processing" of environmental and social cues.

GPUs excel at parallel processing, which is similar to how emotions can quickly evaluate multiple factors (e.g., tone, facial expressions, or environmental danger) without needing logical deliberation.

Logic as the CPU:

Logic performs more deliberate, linear, and complex calculations, akin to how a CPU handles detailed computations that require precision and time.

The CPU works best when not bogged down by tasks that a GPU could handle faster—just as logic is more effective when emotions manage immediate reactions.

Cognitive Load as RAM:

RAM is the temporary workspace for processing data, much like working memory in the brain.

When emotions quickly "filter out" or manage simpler tasks (like immediate threat detection or mood regulation), it reduces the load on RAM, allowing the CPU (logic) to focus on higher-order tasks like learning, problem-solving, and creativity.

When a GPU and CPU work in harmony, they optimize performance. Similarly, when emotions and logic cooperate, they enable efficient decision-making and adaptive behavior.

This is one of the reasons why it is very unwise to trait emotions unnecessarily. It is like breaking down the components of your computer on purpose, and then wondering why it no longer works properly.

If you notice signs of slowing down, corruption, and worsened performance on your devices; you are quick to act and admit there is a problem. Considering brains are biological computers, one shouldn’t blame oneself for failing and instead try to solve the problem.

It might be hard, but help is always there, in case you need to hear this; I know you are stronger than you can ever think.

Moving on from computers, there comes the second trait that separates us from computers and fuels every single thing we do during our lifetime. Reason.

2- Motivation (Reason)

We all know smoking is bad for our health. Believe me, smokers hear that almost constantly—whether it’s from the disapproving looks of strangers, the disappointed remarks from loved ones, or the stark warnings plastered on cigarette packages. Smokers are not uninformed; they’re acutely aware of the damage. They live in it, they can actively experience their bodies withering away.

So, why don’t they quit? Why do we, myself included, knowingly harm ourselves? As a former non-smoker who used to wonder the same thing, I’ve come to realize that emotions are at the core of this behavior.

Here’s the truth: we act when we feel the “need” outweighs the “cost”. Think of it like buying an expensive computer—it may cost a lot, but if the benefits (efficiency, productivity, possibilities) seem worth the price, you’ll make the purchase and willfully “suffer” the consequence as you believe the result is worth it.

Smoking follows a similar emotional logic. It offers temporary relief—relaxation, escapism, or comfort in routine—in exchange for a portion of your health. It works like a Faustian Bargain, really. This emotional "reward" feels immediate and tangible. On the other hand, quitting smoking promises better health, but this potential feels distant, abstract, and often overshadowed by the emotional weight of what you’d be giving up.

The scales don’t work in our favor. Until the emotional value of quitting outweighs the comfort and familiarity of smoking, the logical knowledge that 'smoking is harmful' will rarely drive change. That’s the power emotions have in shaping our decisions—they’re not just motivators; they’re the hidden hands tilting the scales of action.

But while emotions can keep someone smoking or prevent them from even considering quitting, they can also be the very reasons to stop. Let’s look at the scale again.

Take “Benjamin,” for example. He’s thinking about quitting smoking. Let’s help him tip the balance.

First, let’s start with logical reasons:

Cigarettes are expensive! He could save his money instead.

Cigarettes are harmful to his health.

They make his breath stink.

Cigarettes can kill him.

There—we’ve given him several valid points. But wait... the scale barely budged! Why? Benjamin agrees with everything we said, yet it doesn’t seem to motivate him enough.

The problem is, that we’ve only provided logical reasons. Where are the emotional motivators? Why should Benjamin care about saving money if it’s already being spent on something he finds comforting? Why should he want a perfectly healthy body if he’s content with his current state? Who cares about bad breath? And why would he prioritize living longer if life already feels unremarkable?

Now, let’s add emotional weight to these reasons:

He should save money because… he’d love to buy a figure collection of his favorite game characters. Or maybe he dreams of updating his wardrobe and starting the new year with a fresh, stylish aesthetic.

He should keep his health optimal because… the world is full of wonders waiting to be explored. Touristic sites and natural beauty demand physical endurance, and he’d want to hike, climb, and wander without limitation.

He should worry about his breath because… he’d like to make new friends or deepen connections with his current circle. First impressions matter, and even the way he smells could shape how others perceive him.

He should want to live longer because… he has dreams to chase. Whether it’s starting a family, traveling the world, or pursuing hobbies, he needs time to see those dreams come to life.

And there’s more that emerge from emotional reasons:

He feels a pang of shame every time his loved ones give him those disapproving, belittling looks. Quitting could free him from that constant humiliation.

He could boost his chances for new job opportunities—many companies prefer non-smokers, and sometimes it’s the little things that set candidates apart.

If he has children one day, he’d want to set a good example. How can he discourage them from smoking if he’s doing it himself? What if they start smoking because of him?

His mother would be overjoyed if he quit—he’d love to make her proud.

And his cat? He could afford better food for his furry companion. Seeing his cat happy would bring him joy, too.

Now, look at the scale! By anchoring logical reasons in an emotional context, we’ve made real progress. Benjamin can see not just what he’s giving up, but also what he stands to gain—and that’s where true motivation comes from. This is his “motivation”.

Benjamin’s story doesn’t just highlight how emotions can motivate action—it also shows how they shape the way we interact with information itself. The reasons for quitting smoking didn’t change; they were always there, logical and undeniable. What changed was the lens through which Benjamin viewed them, colored by emotional relevance.

The Photo Filter Analogy by Aleyn Rhine

Emotions act like filters, determining what we focus on, how we interpret it, and what weight we assign to it. This is why the very same piece of information can feel urgent and compelling to one person, yet trivial or irrelevant to another.

Take the phrase “No one cares.” For someone feeling melancholic, it might reinforce feelings of isolation and insignificance: “I’m alone in this world.” But for someone in a state of happiness, the same thought might evoke a sense of liberation: “I’m free to live how I want, without judgment!” The information hasn’t changed—the emotional lens has.

Similarly, consider a photograph. The exact same scene can evoke wildly different emotions depending on the tone of the lens used to capture it. A sepia tone might make it nostalgic, while a cool blue filter might give it a somber, tranquil vibe. Emotions function in much the same way, coloring the “snapshot” of a situation in our minds.

In Benjamin’s case, logical reasons like "cigarettes are expensive" or "smoking is harmful" didn’t carry much weight until they were framed in a way that resonated emotionally. Once the scale was tipped with feelings of pride, joy, and ambition, those same facts became more meaningful and actionable.

This emotional filtering applies to almost every thought or piece of information we encounter. Our emotions don’t just shape how we feel—they shape how we think, react, and decide. They prioritize certain details while discarding others, amplifying some messages while muting others.

Imagine waking up to a cloudy sky. To someone feeling content, the clouds might feel cozy, even inspiring—perfect for staying in with a cup of tea or curling up with a book. To someone already feeling anxious or down, those same clouds might seem oppressive, a reminder of gloom and isolation.

This is why emotions are so integral to how we process information—they create a personalized lens through which every experience is filtered. A single statement, a single scene, or even a single decision can take on vastly different meanings depending on the emotional "tone" applied to it.

By understanding this emotional filtering, we can begin to take control of our lenses. Just as a photographer chooses the filter that best enhances their vision, we can actively seek out emotional perspectives that empower rather than hinder us.

Returning to Benjamin, his journey reminds us that the key to transformation isn’t just in providing new information—it’s in reframing the way we feel about it. When logic and emotion work together, the impossible can suddenly seem achievable.

From there, we can look at our own lives: Are we interpreting the "cloudy skies" of our challenges with an emotional filter that blocks the sunlight? Or can we shift our perspective, finding opportunities and hope even in gray moments?

Skulls and skeletons, elegant and beautiful symbols of death; they represent the birth of my hope.

Thanks for reading :) - Aleyn Rhine, 2024

Note: The Photo Filter Analogy is my own interpretation of how emotions act as lenses, shaping the way we perceive and interpret information. While the analogy itself is unique to my work, it builds on established psychological principles that highlight the influence of emotions on cognition and perception. Researchers like Leonard Mlodinow (Emotional: How Feelings Shape Our Thinking) and studies in affective neuroscience provide evidence that emotions shape our thoughts and reactions, much like how different camera filters alter the tone of a photograph.

Sources:

The Three Filters of Consciousness | Psychology Today

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[neonluardon]

An Uncanny Dream

Now, I have dreams, some of which tend to involve a character or two. I am a Genshin Impact fan, and I especially like Kaeya. But the dream I had about Kaeya was so uncanny and equally majestic that I never wanted to forget about it. So, I prepared some visuals. I will be using the notes I took the moment I woke up. These notes help me a lot, as I have already forgotten almost all of the details.

Plot: I was the player but instead of controlling the Traveler, I was controlling Kaeya, the story itself was from his perspective. Because of a reason, I cannot remember, Kaeya ended up stuck between the line of truth and delusion.

Kaeya was aware of his existence, his world was pitch black and white. Everything he used to find beautiful now looked horrible, all voices were gone but a music that kept repeating over and over. As Kaeya, I was supposed to run around and ask for help. But no matter where we went, we couldn't interact with a person.

I remembered I had some resin (even in a dream I'm worried about not using resin lol) and decided to fight in a domain. Somehow, although we couldn't interact with humans and animals, Kaeya could harm Hilichurls and other Abyss-related creatures.

Upon defeating the enemies, Kaeya got an artifact. But this artifact didn't have relic bonuses.

The artifact's name was changed to "Memories From Afar". When I tried looking at the description of the artifact, instead of writing a story or giving an explanation, it simply said:

"You cannot go back now. Memories are out of your reach."

It said "Fatal error." too in very rare cases, because I was panicking so much that I kept reloading the screen and expected something else to come. After obtaining this artifact, I never managed to earn another one no matter how much resin I used.

I decided to use this artifact on Kaeya, but when I opened the character screen, all of my characters were gone and only Kaeya existed. And, well, he didn't look very well.

All of his talents were set back to one. His name didn't exist, instead, there was something akin to "X" but not exactly the same. He was a shadow, an "absence" on the game's screen. And his profile icon didn't exist as well. During this moment, I noticed that Kaeya couldn't interact with the others because he literally didn't exist anymore. He was conscious, he tried everything, but all that was left of him was his absence. And for some reason, no one in Mondstadt seemed to notice his sudden disappearance either.

Did the Irminsul Tree get corrupted and erase his information or was he not cared for at all? This was the question Kaeya asked. I was shocked since I didn't expect him to know about the tree and information could get erased from there.

I kept controlling Kaeya but the vision was so vague that the map barely helped, and no, the main menu wasn't opening either. No Paimon, no settings, just Kaeya and his absence.

Then, I remember seeing Dragonspine. Kaeya was here for some reason, lost and confused. But since he didn't exist anymore and all he could talk with was me (the player, not the traveler, he broke the 4th wall) he suggested taking some pictures.

This especially crept into me a lot because, in one of the fics I wrote, Kaeya went so insane that he needed pictures to make sure he did things right. I can somehow feel that by telling me to take pictures, he meant it in a way to "make sure everything is real."

He got mad when he saw the photos and how even they were colorless. He thought that by using an object that "exists" he could get rid of the terrible darkness. The photos also proved that what we were seeing was correct since not even the player could outrun the colorless screen. Yes, he said that. If even I can't change things, there is nothing Kaeya could do, according to him.

This was one of the scariest scenes, to be honest. The map was there but I couldn't understand a thing, everything looked too dark, once the elegant and magical Dragonspine was now sheer nightmare material. We fought multiple monsters. Kaeya was trying to find his way into reality, thinking for some reason that someone could bend his curse, and bring back the colors. It felt cold, too cold. I could physically feel the sheer chillness hitting my face. I remember moving in my bed as the dream continued.

But it came to an end. Kaeya was attacked by a Mitachurl with a cryo shield. We tried outrunning it but the cold killed Kaeya before the monster. I woke up after he died, the "sheer cold" screen was the simplest but most uncanny thing I have ever seen. It doesn't look that terrifying in the gif but imagine seeing this in a dream.

And a silence followed, Kaeya said nothing. I clicked the revive button but it simply said "Fatal error: Character files missing"

But as I stared at the screen, I could also think of a way that could have saved Kaeya. It was Diluc. For some reason, Diluc's flames could cut through Kaeya's corruption and the tides of reality itself. That little cut between truth and delusion could be his escape. But we never found Diluc, and it was already too late when I realized what we could have done. I felt guilty, knowing that he died because of me. And it wasn't a simple death either, he was deleted or his information in the Irminsul Tree got corrupted beyond fixing, erasing him from existence altogether as the only remains of his presence were his consciousness. He died in darkness, in the sheer cold he despised so much.

I woke up. I was mesmerized by this dream and wanted to write it down. But now that I looked at my badly written notes and the scenes I tried recreating, I feel terrible. This dream was one of the greatest things I have ever experienced, it showed just how creative my brain could get but also... how horrifying it can be. I will never forget the sheer cold screen and the artifact of "Memories From Afar".

[neonluardon]

21.08.2024 - Book Report

  As of this date, the writing process of Lumiére Savante, the second book of the Never Alone Series, has been completed. The editing process starts now, and by performing several tests and rereading, I plan to publish the first version in late September or early October.

    Although writing is fun, and I only end up with more ideas, the editing part is equally tricky. This time with a longer book compared to Savoir Vivre. But at least I have solid experience and know what I should do, whereas Savoir Vivre was my first attempt at self-publishing. I am positive this version will be more polished than the first book, though I will keep working and reading to fix mistakes even after publishing. Savoir Vivre, for instance, has reached its third version with all the changes.

    Although I am aware I should have been focusing more on advertisement, I just can't come up with proper ideas, nor do I have the equipment and experience to support them. For now, I'll stick to writing only and let time work its miracle.

    To be the author of two complete novels in one year, I could never think I would reach such a high place. Despite the hardships of life and the impending doom looming over all of us, I want to play the fool every day and assume things will get better.

    Technically speaking, being optimistic won't kill anyone; in fact, it helps people make better use of their opportunities and enhance their thinking.

    I was almost dying one year ago. Facing that fearsome moment and having to survive the aftermath taught me a lot. One of them is to never, ever belate anything just because you don't feel like it or don't have hope. Hope only disappears when you die, so do whatever you can when you have the chance.

    Successful or not, famous or unknown, I couldn't care any less. I would love to do my hobby as a job and earn a living from it. I would love to use all the opportunities I will get to help my family and those in need. But if that never happens, if it turns out that I was just wasting my time and youth over a profession that has no financial advantage, it is okay, too. Because it is worthy for me, it has always been worthy for my younger self, which defines what life means.

    To live for what is worthy according to yourself, not for money.

    You can't buy inner peace with money.

[neonluardon]

Interpretation for Atillâ İlhan's Üçüncü Şahsın Şiiri

The Third Person's Poem

When your eyes touched mine, it became my ruin, I would cry. I knew you didn't love me, I heard you had someone, a skinny boy, frail like a twig, someone worthless, in my opinion. Whenever I saw him in front of me, I feared I might kill him. It became my ruin, I would cry.

Whenever I passed through Maçka, there were always ships in the harbor. The trees would laugh like birds, a wind would steal my mind away. You would quietly light a cigarette, you would burn the tips of my fingers. You would lower your lashes and look, I would shiver, my heart would tremble. It became my ruin, I would cry.

Evenings would end like a novel, Jezebel would lie in blood. A ship would leave the harbor, you would rise and go to it. You would leave pale as a candle, you would stay until morning. Someone worthless, in my opinion, when he smiled, it resembled a funeral. Especially when he took you in his arms, it would become my ruin, I would cry.

[neonluardon]

The Superego: The Victim and The Culprit

Introduction

  Sigmund Freud’s model of the psyche, comprising the id, ego, and superego, provides a foundational framework for understanding human behavior and decision-making. Within this triadic structure, the superego stands out as the moral compass, embodying our conscience and the internalized standards of right and wrong. Unlike the id, which is driven by primal desires, or the ego, which navigates the practicalities of reality, the superego is characterized by its rigid adherence to moral ideals and its often uncompromising standards.

    Traditionally, the superego has been viewed as a stabilizing force, promoting ethical behavior and curbing the more impulsive urges of the id. Its role in maintaining psychological harmony and guiding moral conduct is widely recognized. However, emerging insights into mental health suggest a more intricate relationship between the superego and psychological well-being.

    This article (?) aims to explore my personal perspective on the superego by examining its dual role as both a "victim" and a "culprit" in the context of mental health. On one hand, an overly harsh or rigid superego can contribute to mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorders, acting as a detrimental force in the individual’s psyche. On the other hand, mental health disturbances themselves can impair the superego’s functioning, leading to a weakened moral framework and exacerbating psychological distress.

    But what makes the superego the victim of our illnesses and conditions, and when does the superego turn into the culprit behind our despair, even though nothing is physically wrong?

    By delving into this duality, we seek to understand how the superego’s demanding nature can be both a source of internal conflict and a reflection of broader psychological challenges. This personal and rather baseless examination will enhance our comprehension of the superego's complex role in mental health and provide insights.

The “Victim” Superego

    In exploring the superego’s role in mental health, it is useful to consider the concept of the “victim” superego. This term describes a scenario in which an otherwise stable and functioning superego is compromised due to external stressors and adverse experiences.

    When an individual encounters significant life challenges such as trauma, the loss of a loved one, job loss, psychological problems, or chronic illnesses, the stability and efficacy of their superego can be severely affected. These external pressures can disrupt the usual judgment and moral reasoning that the superego provides, leading to a distorted or biased sense of right and wrong.

    For instance, trauma or the death of a loved one may overwhelm an individual's coping mechanisms, causing their superego to function erratically. Similarly, prolonged psychological stress or chronic illness can impair the superego’s ability to provide consistent moral guidance. In these instances, the superego becomes a victim of the broader mental health context, struggling under the weight of external and internal challenges that distort its usual role.

    Thus, the “victim” superego represents a situation where the superego’s judgment and moral compass falter not due to inherent flaws, but as a direct result of significant psychological or physical disruptions. This concept highlights the vulnerability of the superego to external stressors and the complex interplay between mental health and moral reasoning.

The “Culprit” Superego

    The notion of the “culprit” superego refers to a situation where the superego’s extreme or misguided judgments adversely impact an individual’s mental health, even in the absence of immediate external stressors. This concept describes how an overactive or improperly functioning superego can disrupt hormonal balance and brain function, undermine the ego, distort the understanding of reality, and precipitate mental health issues seemingly out of nowhere.

    Several factors can contribute to a malfunctioning superego. Mental abuse, deep-seated inner shame, rigid social structures, heightened inner consciousness, high intelligence, and a lack of love, support, and respect from parents, adults, or friends can all influence the superego's functioning. When the superego is excessively harsh or misguided, it can lead to distorted self-criticism. This could manifest as an overreaction to minor issues or a failure to address significant problems effectively.

    In such cases, the superego’s flawed judgment can lead to an imbalance in hormonal connections and brain chemistry, damaging the ego and impairing the individual's grasp of reality. This dysfunction can then give rise to mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, narcissism, or borderline personality disorder, which appear to develop suddenly or without an obvious trigger.

    Thus, the “culprit” superego embodies a scenario where internal moral and judgmental failures precipitate mental health issues, even when external circumstances seem stable. This dysfunction highlights the critical role of the superego in maintaining psychological equilibrium and the potential consequences of its malfunction.

The Culprit in Action

    In my novel Savoir Vivre, the character Adrian Nebula provides a poignant example of what I term the “culprit” superego. Adrian is portrayed as the quintessential king—responsible, protective, modest, knowledgeable, and deeply compassionate towards children. He is a hero who has saved his country from imminent destruction, embodying qualities that one would expect to be accompanied by self-assuredness and contentment.

    From an external perspective, it seems implausible that someone like Adrian could harbor deep self-doubt or self-hatred. Yet, throughout the story, it becomes evident that Adrian struggles profoundly with these issues. He is plagued by the belief that he is an imposter, convinced that others only express love and respect for him out of fear or strategic gain rather than genuine affection.

    This distorted self-perception stems from a malfunctioning superego. Adrian’s superego has been severely scarred by the mental abuse he endured from his father during his formative years. Constant disrespect and belittlement led him to internalize the notion that he is undeserving of love, interpreting any form of respect or admiration as a mere facade to meet their own needs.

    Despite the reality that his subjects truly cherish and respect him, Adrian cannot perceive this truth. His depression and self-hatred seem to arise spontaneously, without any apparent external trigger. This is a classic manifestation of the “culprit” superego—where an internalized, flawed sense of self-worth leads to significant mental health challenges, even when outward circumstances are stable.

    Eventually, Adrian’s internal struggles culminate in the development of an illness known as Vitality Void Syndrome. This condition appears without any biological cause, curse, or extreme trauma. Adrian’s illness is a direct result of his malfunctioning superego, which continuously undermines his mental health despite his outward stability and resolve.

15.08.2024

[neonluardon]

Interpretation for Hasan Âli Yücel's Thoughts Regarding the Importance of Interpreting

    The first stage of understanding and sensing the spirit of humanism begins with the embrace of works of art, which are the most concrete expressions of human existence. Among the branches of art, literature is the richest in terms of mental elements. Therefore, for a nation to reinterpret the literature of other nations in its own language, or rather in its own comprehension, is to enhance, revitalize, and recreate its intellectual capacity in proportion to those works.

    This is why we consider translation activities important and impactful for our civilizational mission. In nations that can direct their intelligence towards such works, literature, which is the architecture of writing—the most indelible tool of thought—possesses an influence that permeates the spirit of the entire community. This connection between the individual and society in such an influence demonstrates a durability and widespread nature that transcends all boundaries of time and space.

    The richer a nation's library is in this regard, the higher its level of comprehension in the realm of civilization. Therefore, systematically and carefully understanding the translation movement is to strengthen one of the most important aspects of Turkish intellectual life and to serve its development and progress. I am deeply grateful to the Turkish intellectuals who do not withhold their knowledge and efforts in this endeavor. With their contributions, within five years, we will have, at the very least, a hundred-volume rich translation library sponsored by the state, and with the efforts of private enterprises and again with state support, we will have four to five times more than that.

    Especially when considering the great benefit that the Turkish language will derive from these efforts, it will be impossible for any Turkish reader not to feel a close interest and affection for the translation activities from now on.

23 June 1941 Minister of National Education Hasan Âli Yücel

Source (the Turkish version) is available on the first pages of every single book from the "Hasan Âli Yücel Klasikler Dizisi" published by Türkiye İş Bankas�� Culture Publications.

    Hümanizma ruhunun ilk anlayış ve duyuş merhalesi, insan varlığının en müşahhas şekilde ifadesi olan sanat eserlerinin benimsenmesiyle başlar. Sanat şubeleri içinde edebiyat, bu ifadenin zihin unsurları en zengin olanıdır. Bunun içindir ki bir milletin, diğer milletler edebiyatını kendi dilinde, daha doğrusu kendi idrakinde tekrar etmesi; zekâ ve anlama kudretini o eserler nispetinde artırması, canlandırması ve yeniden yaratmasıdır.

    İşte tercüme faaliyetini, biz, bu bakımdan ehemmiyetli ve medeniyet dâvamız için müessir bellemekteyiz. Zekânın her cephesini bu türlü eserlerin her türlüsüne tevcih edebilmiş milletlerde düşüncenin en silinmez vasıtası olan yazı ve onun mimarisi demek olan edebiyat, bütün kütlenin ruhuna kadar işleyen ve sinen bir tesire sahiptir. Bu tesirdeki fert ve cemiyet ittisali, zamanda ve mekânda bütün hudutları delip aşacak bir sağlamlık ve yaygınlığı gösterir.

    Hangi milletin kütüphanesi bu yönden zenginse o millet, medeniyet âleminde daha yüksek bir idrak seviyesinde demektir. Bu itibarla tercüme hareketini sistemli ve dikkatli bir surette idrak etmek, Türk irfanının en önemli bir cephesini kuvvetlendirmek, onun gelişmesine, ilerlemesine hizmet etmektir. Bu yolda bilgi ve emeklerini esirgemeyen Türk münevverlerine şükranla duyguluyum. Onların himmetleri ile beş sene içinde, hiç değilse, devlet eli ile yüz ciltlik, hususi teşebbüslerin gayreti ve gene devletin yardımı ile, onun dört beş misli fazla olmak üzere zengin bir tercüme kütüphanemiz olacaktır.

    Bilhassa Türk dilinin, bu emeklerden elde edeceği büyük faydayı düşünüp de şimdiden tercüme faaliyetine yakın ilgi ve sevgi duymamak, hiçbir Türk okuru için mümkün olamayacaktır.

23 Haziran 1941 Maarif Vekili Hasan Âli Yücel

[neonluardon]

13.08.2024 - Notice and Personal Wutherings

 The current passage of time and events occurring all around the globe (but ironically, mostly near and within my country) truly pushes me back into depressive episodes. During those I kept thinking to myself and repeating the same problems that I solved or ignored a long time ago. At this point, I know when my creative mania will leave its place in my restrictive depression. When times like these come -although I'll outlive it eventually and the mania will start once again- I can't help but wonder how long this is going to take and why I have to go through it every single month.

    During these "creative mania" episodes, I become quite literally invincible regarding art and imagination. I can go for hours without food, water, and sleep. This is why when I start overworking, my stories reach incredible word counts on such short notice. For instance, it only took me four days to write 40.000 words, even though they have not been edited yet. I am certain and aware that I made many grammar mistakes while I was writing but as long as I can make most of the creative mania episode, I can leave editing and fixing parts to the restrictive depression times. The latter is more judgemental and won't act on egotistical thoughts in the first place, so even negative emotions and the heavy reality check they force are efficient.

    What was I going to talk about again rather than my decreasing sanity? Oh, right! Despite my initial hopelessness and the bad thoughts creeping back once again, I took a new and big step. I sent an informative e-mail to one of my favorite publishing houses in Türkiye, Ren Yayınları. In that e-mail, I presented the Never Alone series, provided two chapters, and declared that I would like to work with their publishing house and give Turkish publishing rights to them.

    As a Turk myself (yes, English is my second language) I figured it would be more helpful to the general Turkish Literature if I were to take a step and offer generous rights. I would offer to translate the books myself but I know that even though I am the writer herself, whatever I will translate can never compete with the masterful work of an interpreter. And if my offer were to get accepted one day, I would love to reread the story in Turkish!

    Although I need a good amount of money to ensure the safety of my family, I won't let greediness take over and ruin one of my biggest dreams, to let literature flourish everywhere. If only I had enough knowledge and experience, I would like to offer the series and even more rights to other publishing houses in the world. My current plan (if I ever manage to work with a publishing house) is to demand a little less payment in exchange for lowering the sale prices. If I ever get rich one day, I will donate or even go as far as refusing any payment so the prices can reach the lowest they can see. Especially in countries like Turkiye where there are so many readers but the books are ridiculously expensive, I would like to do everything in my power.

    The world is going downhill but I won't fall, as I have already reached the lowest point I could be at the young age of fourteen, battling depression and clinging onto the faint thought that one day, I will be able to write everything I dream of. For that reason, I attributed my very first book to my younger self, to thank her for believing in the future version of herself and fighting.

    That girl had no one but her original characters and now, they are becoming real thanks to her.

[neonluardon]

07.07.2024 - Personal Wutherings

  I used to believe every beginning should be perfect from top to bottom. For instance, they should start with the first day of the week or month. Their dates should hold a meaning, be stripped away from all errors and problems, and indicate things will go smoothly and perfectly.

    But if we take a close look at the greatest inventions of mankind and spare some time to read the stories of their inventors, it becomes undeniable that starts are faulty and often embarrassing, too. After all, the beginning of something is the very basic and primal part of it, is it not? Just like how a toddler barely walks but then years of dedication and determination turn the toddler into a great athlete, each beginning symbolizes humble and imperfect attempts.

    I used to be afraid of challenging myself, this is the first time I'm writing a blog because I thought if I didn't have anything good to say then it wouldn't make sense for me to have a website in the first place. I know deep down that a few months later as I look at my writings, I will come across this very first post and laugh to myself, perhaps even cringe a little.

    But isn't this the spirit of art and development? I value each writing and document as I can find a different emotion and purpose hidden, even mere words that couldn't even turn into sentences have memories covered behind them.

    If anyone is reading this post for some reason, I wish for it to be a sign. Start whatever you have in your mind, no matter how mediocre and slow you are. Dedication and practice are the mothers and fathers of all victories.

    This blog website, Tales of Neonluaria Writing Blog is the current name as we speak, is where I will be writing down certain changes and additions to my projects. Here, you may get to know the latest updates regarding my books. I plan to keep here updated but I don't have a schedule at hand right now, maybe I should prioritize that one day. Wow, even as I complain about how "planless" I am I come up with new ideas. Maybe having a blog isn't so troubling after all!

    I will be preparing some sort of a report regarding how my projects are doing. Most of my further reports will be about rewritings, editing, and the development process of Never Alone - Lumiére Savant. Maybe I can sprinkle some personal life updates too. Who knows, the future is full of mysteries and that's the fun of it!