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Shutdowns and Unspoken Pain: The Weight of Repressed Emotions and Unmet Needs

For years I survived by shutting down and hiding my true self, but now I'm working to break free from shame and find emotional safety and acceptance.

Isolated. Hurting… Ashamed. I’ve spoken about the reasons I feel that Autistic overloads are not that different from overloads in non-autistics in the past (on multiple occasions). Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much more I’ve been asked to “put away” and repress (because our world and the people in it don’t understand NeuroDivergent People and often place unfair expectations upon…

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Why Your Anxious Neurodivergent Friend May Disappear Sometimes - My Autistic Perspective

I'm sorry to everyone I ghosted when I assumed you hated me.

I do something to people from time to time. I don’t mean to, but my mind tricks me, so I do it anyway… I ghost people. I disappear and drop contact, leaving people feeling like I don’t like or care about them. I’m sorry to everyone I ghosted when I assumed you hated me. ID: Lyric, a pale skinned nonbinary person with long black hair hair with dark green ends and shaved sides (down). is sitting…

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Shattering Stigma: Beyond Autistic Meltdowns - Normalizing Big Feelings and Overwhelm

I learned to repress (instead of express) because people reacted poorly to me whenever I tried to share what I wanted, needed, and felt. I swallowed my rage, discomfort, worries, and pain over and over again...

I learned to repress (instead of express) because people reacted poorly to me whenever I tried to share what I wanted, needed, and felt. I swallowed my rage, discomfort, worries, and pain over and over again (because I was used to people around me not giving me space to express my feelings and needs). I learned to “bottle it all up” because I had no external outlet for my…

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Rebooting the Matrix: How I Manage My Wonky Memory

People around me seemed to have trouble believing when I told them "I didn't remember" things (and would often suggest that I was not listening, intentionally forgetting, or pretending to forget things on purpose), which made me feel ashamed and inadequat

My memory is a bit wonky. I don’t trust myself to remember things, especially in the short term. Growing up, I used to worry about my memory (because adults often told me I was “too young to be so forgetful“). I would forget the show I was watching if the commercials came on, forget what I was trying to say to someone (mid-sentence), not remember something I’d been told, or that I was supposed…

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Autistic Speech Patterns - Autism and Echolalia, Palilalia, Scripting, Vocal and Verbal Stimming

I'll discuss three main types of Autistic vocalizations: echolalia, palilalia, speech loops, scripting, and verbal and vocal stimming.

Though every single Autistic Person is different, many Autistic People make different noises, repeat sounds, or make other vocalizations. In today’s video, I’ll discuss three main types of Autistic vocalizations: echolalia, palilalia, speech loops, scripting, and verbal and vocal stimming. Despite being 37, I still have all three of these (as well as several other) NeuroDivergent speech…

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Beyond Labels: Empowering NeuroDivergent Individuals Through Inclusive Support & Why Disclosure & Medical Diagnosis Shouldn't Be a Requirement

Beyond Labels: Empowering NeuroDivergent Individuals Through Inclusive Support & Why Disclosure & Medical Diagnosis Shouldn't Be a Requirement Why NeuroDivergent Empowerment is not about the diagnosis or brain type but about advocating for...

In my work with organizations that want to be more Neuro-Inclusive, focusing on individual needs for success rather than categorizing based on brain types has been a more effective approach (than depending on assumptions and stereotypes about people). When looking at diverse minds in this way, the labels are secondary to the person’s needs, desires, strengths, and abilities, allowing us to…

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Autism NeuroDivergence & Sensory Processing - My Personal AuDHD (Autistic and ADHD) Experience

No two individuals, even those with similar brain types, will have the same sensory profile and needs.

What exactly is sensory processing? One might (falsely) think that every human on this earth experiences the world in the same way, that we all experience the sun’s brightness the same, or the level of sounds in the room the same. However, this is far from accurate. It’s important to understand that each of us has a sensory experience entirely our own. People with sensory processing…

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The Realities of Autistic & NeuroDivergent Camouflaging (Masking)

NeuroDivergent Camouflaging is a survival skill that can be engaged in consciously or subconsciously. It is not something we do to be manipulative or deceptive.

Neurodiversity, a normal and natural part of human variation, encompasses the diversity of the brain and nervous system. The human brain, body, and nervous system can exhibit variety in various ways. Still, these differences may not be readily apparent to outsiders (due to misunderstandings and assumptions because of these differences being hidden within the person’s brain). The world we live…

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Burning It to the Ground: How I Lost Myself in the Pursuit of Success - My Journey of Self-Discovery and Rebirth

I burned my old life to the ground, but I rose stronger and more authentic from the ashes.

I’ve had many jobs over the years. My plunge into the workforce began at a young age, 11, when I stepped into the family hair salon to assist my mother. Little did I know, this was just the beginning of a long and diverse work experience that would shape my professional journey. Under my mother’s watchful eye, I learned the basics of running a small business. This included bookkeeping, customer…

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Leaving No Trace - Better Than I Found It: A Guiding Principle for Life - My Journey Toward Leaving the World a Better Place

Leaving things (places, situations, people, the world) better than you found them and the personal growth and community involvement that comes with it.

Many years ago, in what feels like another lifetime, I was part of the Austin, Texas, AcroYoga, Circus, and Flow Arts community. My Cirque days in my early 20s were a time of personal growth, during which I learned the value of leaving things better than I found them. During this time, I lived as a hot pink and purple-haired clown – not a literal clown, but a clown in a broader sense (a comic…

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Breaking Free from the Critic: Learning to Love Myself and Others More Completely

I realized many of the traits I'd "filed away" and deemed as "bad," "shameful," and to "never see the light of day" could be attributed to being Autistic (or other forms of NeuroDivergence I embody).

Receiving my Autism diagnosis was a pivotal moment that plunged me into an identity crisis, reshaping my understanding of who I was. After a lifetime of living a lie (believing I was Neuro-Average), I was grappling with the daunting task of defining my true Self beyond the suffocating weight of societal expectations. Throughout my life, I’d packed up the parts of myself that other people had…

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I don't WANT to go back into the closet, but I don't know if I will have a choice.

I don't WANT to go back into the closet, but I don't know if I will have a choice.

David and I don’t ‘get out’ much. We also don’t have a habit of going places that charge admission fees very often, especially recently, because we’ve been in a period of ‘not spending’ since we’re trying to get ourselves to a place where we’ll be able to escape Texas in November when/if things get bad. We’re hoping to either fix our RV, which needs a few serious repairs (we also considered…

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The Language of Inclusion: A Guide to Neuro-Affirming Communication

A comprehensive overview of Neuro-Affirming language principles and best practices to support and respect Neuro-Marginalized Peoples, promoting inclusivity and acceptance.

Sometimes, personal growth involves updating and removing words from your vocabulary. Over the past ten years, I’ve changed how I describe and speak about various topics. When you know better, you do better. That’s growth. What is Neuro-Affirming Language? The language and symbols used to describe groups of people will impact how members of society treat group members (and how they see…

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Rethinking Giftedness: The Dark Side of "Gifted" Labels and "Superpower" Stereotypes - A Personal Perspective

Being labeled 'gifted' can be a curse in disguise, hiding complexities and misconceptions that can shadow our experiences.

As a former ‘gifted kid,’ I’ve realized that giftedness is more complex than many believe. It’s a label that often comes with its own set of challenges, expectations, and misconceptions. Gifted is a label that I personally reject. Being branded as ‘gifted’ in school was a double-edged sword. The label, once affixed, raised the bar of expectations to an unattainable height, doing more harm than…

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My Autistic Experience With Eye Contact and Having My AuDHD Traits Treated Behaviorally In School

Growing up, especially in school, I was often scolded for "not paying attention" (regardless of whether I was actually paying attention or not).

My Autistic Experience With Eye-Contact: I don’t need to look at you to speak to you (or hear you) Growing up, especially in school, I was often scolded for “not paying attention” (regardless of whether I was actually paying attention or not). NOTES/DISCLAIMER: It’s important that we all understand that, as Autistic People, there is not a unified autistic experience. We all have different…

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Two Microphones - I Invented the #AskingAutistics Tag. Here's why:

Two Microphones - I Invented the #AskingAutistics Tag. Here's why: We needed a tag that would allow our allies and those who were still unsure of their Autistic Identities to chime in and ask questions.

Yesterday, I spoke about the recent history of the #ActuallyAutistic tag and what that tag meant to me as a late-diagnosed Autistic person eight years ago (when there wasn’t a wealth of Autistic Bloggers and educators online yet). I also spoke about how self-identified Autistic People were always included within the #ActuallyAutistic community because some people were unsure about that. If you…

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What is #ActuallyAutistic (to me, a late identified Autistic Adult) - Finding Community in a Sea of Stigma

Recently, I stumbled across a discussion on terms and verbiage people dislike hearing within Autistic community spaces. I was surprised that a few people had mentioned they disliked hearing or reading the community phrase ‘ActuallyAutistic.’ These individuals felt as if the phrase ‘ActuallyAutistic’ was one of exclusion (instead of inclusion) because (in their opinion) the phrase…