numberonesnarkfan

[numberonesnarkfan]

New video has some interesting hints but mob. Mob we see through his "pov" istg mob if you canonise the fanon that he can somehow see through screens because they're displaying a png of an eye I'll throttle you. MOB. RAAAAAGGGGHHH

[numberonesnarkfan]

Still fixated on an AU where Elliot adopts Harley. And SO I have some ✨ situations✨ for them.

— Harley’s first night home at Elliot’s. Being amazed that he has a room with a proper bed in it. Doubly amazed that it’s so BIG and so… clean.

Elliot cooking roast dinner to commemorate the event, but instead of eating, Harley just… stares at the food.

E: “Everything okay, Harley?”

H: “…Can… can I eat this?”

E: “Of course! I made it for you.”

H: … Takes a tiiiiny hesitant bite.

E: Smiles, nods. “Enjoy.” Goes back to reading his paper while eating his own dinner.

H: (… He’s not mad? It’s really… okay? …)

H: “……” STARTS DEVOURING THE FOOD LIKE A RABID ANIMAL

E: O_O ;; (I need to teach that boy some table manners…)

— Imagine the first time Harley initiates a hug between them. It’d seem random, but in actuality Harley’s been thinking of it, planning it, anticipating it for weeks. Then one day in the morning he’d come downstairs and just quietly go “Elliot.” Elliot giving him a bemused but worried smile— only for the boy to silently walk up to him and very nervously… very awkwardly… lift his arms and rest them ever so lightly around Elliot’s back.

Elliot embracing him in return, equally as gently. Just a nice, quiet moment before they go into the factory for the YGP classes.

— The first time Harley calls Elliot “dad”. I don’t think he would do it very often (normally just sticks with Elliot), and when he does it’s usually by accident or when he’s feeling vulnerable. But oof. There’d be tears (Elliot).

— If they want ANY hope of a happy ending, they’d both have to get therapy. And apparently in the 1970/80s, family therapy was becoming popular. So, just imagine the chaos of Elliot Ludwig and Harley Sawyer in family therapy. You’re welcome.

— Harley developing an unusual hobby, like taxidermy. Elliot trying his best to be supportive, but Harley keeps “finding” dead animals and bringing them back home and it makes him a little worried (and nauseous). OH— and the look on the man’s face when he one day opens the fridge only to make direct eye contact with a deceased possum. If Harley was around it’d get a rare laugh out of him.

But they’d have a, err, talk, after that.

— Now Harley’s in a safe environment he’s got a lot of trauma processing to do. Neither he nor Elliot even think about that… until the panic attacks start. …And the random crying. Angry outbursts over things that are ridiculously trivial, even for Harley. Hell, maybe even (rarely) some age regression, too.

Me and @/numberonesnarkfan (gonna reference them as Snark because we yapped a LOT lmao) were also talking and they suggested Harley having FND (which can in rare cases be caused by trauma/abuse which is the case for Harley) which manifests in dissociative seizures/drop attacks, and functional limb weakness (especially in his legs). I also think if he’s specifically triggered by something kid Harley would get vocal tics and uncontrollable shaking.

All in all Elliot feels in WAAAY over his head, and definitely questions whether he’s done the right thing by taking the little guy in or not; not because he doesn’t love him, but because he’s not sure if he’s the best person to handle this. He also finds it super hard to discipline him because, freshly in recovery, Harley’s so easily triggered. The situation’s made even worse, because Harley really NEEDS disciplining since he’s already showing a few symptoms of antisocial personality disorder, and is just generally… a bit of a little shit at times.

— The. ARGUMENTS. I like to think they wouldn’t have full blown fights that often since (at least my) Elliot is so mild-mannered, but… Elliot definitely has his own issues as well, and if they’re both having bad days, disagreements very easily turn into full arguments. Harley in particular can scream the house down if he so chooses, much to Elliot’s frustration. Lots of slamming of doors. Sometimes an “I HATE YOU” from Harley, too.

If you wanted to get REALLLY angsty with it, again me and Snark were like. OOP. Punishments that would be considered abuse or at least be frowned on now were common in Elliot’s era, so… if Harley hit a nerve one day… Elliot might just grab him by the chin, yank him in close and give him a shake, and really verbally lay into him— only to trigger a panic attack and/or an FND episode in Harley. Little guy bursting into tears out of shock and fear, because he’s just started to adjust to a home without that kind of violence.

Elliot would feel so bad after that. Harley doesn’t come out of his room for a week. It takes a while for their relationship to heal again.

— …HAPPIER SITUATIONS AGAIN yay:

Elliot and Harley doing normal, domestic activities. Watching a movie together… maybe Harley falls asleep against Elliot, who carries him to bed. Elliot taking him out for ice cream. Elliot teaching him how to cook (first time ends in an absolute mess).

Harley actually getting the giggles over something and Elliot deliberately trying to get him to laugh more because the sound makes him so happy.

— And finally. One of my favourites. After Harley is well and truly settled in his new home and trusts Elliot, he very shyly, very embarrassed, comes to him with a request.

Could he read him a bed time story?

Little guy has never had a story read to him outside of being in school before, but has heard of other children being read to at night, and he’s so curious— but more than curious, he wants to feel like a child who’s loved.

Elliot’s surprised at the request at first because isn’t 12 y/o Harley a little old for that? But when he hears his explanation, his soft heart just melts. Of course he’s going to read his baby a bed time story. Knowing Harley, he’ll probably pick out either a sci-fi or non-fiction book. He’s probably all embarrassed as Elliot tucks him in and starts reading, but he gets into it surprisingly quickly and settles down.

As he’s starting to fall asleep, Elliot reaches over and starts combing a hand through his hair, stroking his head nice and slow… and Harley’s out like a light. Dadwig gives him a little kiss on the forehead, turns out the light and leaves him to sleep.

[numberonesnarkfan]

thinking about how Sawyer delivers the "It was supposed to be mine!" line as one of the last things he ever says, and he knows that.

Despite calmly wondering about the tolling of the bell as death comes to his quarters, he still cannot bring himself, despite his proclamations, to be any more than a man, an animal who cries and screams as it's shot to death through the bars of a cage.

Among his last-ditch effort to keep himself alive, the petulant and defeated child comes out, wailing, "it's not fair! it's not fair!"

He keeps himself haughty in all of his dialogue up to that point, and only during the boss fight does he break down and use his last maybe ten minutes of breath to slam against the bars of his cage and feel the hurt as it overwhelms him. He's not really talking to the player anymore.

Plus his dying line as he realises that everything he'd ever done is useless - the ends can't justify the means, because this is the end, and it all means nothing. He wasn't Dr. Semmelweis, he was Dr. Freeman.

that's the lobotomy guy, not the Gordon.

The thing that makes Harley Sawyer still human is not what remains of his flesh or blood, but the fact that the animal in him still hurts, it still lashes out at its captors and cries when it dies.

[numberonesnarkfan]

"[character] will come back in the next chapter!" is the ppt equivalent of the Friendly Foxy Theory

[numberonesnarkfan]

I am now certain this is true

idea: Harley talks slowly and enunciates carefully both for dramatics and also because he has a minor speech impediment that NO-ONE CAN KNOW ABOUT

[numberonesnarkfan]

☂️

"Do they crave touch or fear it?"

Dr. Sawyer is hard to read in that regard, one would notice.

He keeps his distance from others, always part of his mind focused on being able to gracefully sidestep any attempted contact. A stray hand that manages to touch him is quickly slapped away.

Stella noticed, of course. She knew how to pick up on signs of psychological trouble and took note.

The only people that he allows contact with are the children. In the instances that he personally interacted with the children, he was noticeably more open, even initiating in attempts to comfort upset children. Most said his hands were too cold.

Stella thought the way he held Quinn in the few times he cried seemed almost unsettlingly sincere. Why?

-

If you were trying to get close to him, you'd need to treat him like a frightened cat. Remember that he makes eye contact out of freeze response, the moment he stops staring near unblinking at you is when he's growing comfortable.

Contact that forces him to focus solely on the contact still intimidates him at this point, but he wouldn't slap you away if you gave him a quick pat on the shoulder or the like. He may even mimic it in return. Nothing any more sentimental, though.

When you catch him tired and overwhelmed, you can get him to talk more easily. Never directly, but you can read through the lines to see the desperate fear hidden in his words.

When you give him a gentle side hug after he trails off, he almost leans in, but stops completely. He doesn't tense, but he doesn't *un*tense. You turn the side-hug into a proper hug, and he releases a tired-sounding breath, his arms limp at his sides, a rarity of itself.

After this, he starts to seek you out. When he's sure nobody could be looking, he looks to take in your warmth. He's surprisingly up front about it - in a roundabout way, hiding behind the idea that it's only a natural human urge as a gregarious species to desire contact. The reason he's chosen you is just because you initiated, nothing more. There's nothing to be said about the fact that he immediately latched onto anyone who made him feel safe, despite the danger, over and over again.

[numberonesnarkfan]

✎ㅤ. . .ㅤ𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.

₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of character analysis/headcanon questions to learn more about your character and your partners'! writing/headcanon prompts requested by anonymous. feel free to edit these as you see fit.

[ 🖐️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do their hands feel like: soft, calloused, trembling ? [ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ? [ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ? [ 🕊️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 💤 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they sleep ? curled up, sprawled, holding onto something ? [ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ? [ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ? [ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ? [ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ? [ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ? [ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ? [ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ? [ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ? [ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? [ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ? [ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ? [ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ? [ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ? [ 🪶 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they laugh ? [ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ? [ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ? [ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ? [ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ? [ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ? [ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ? [ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ? [ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ? [ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ? [ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ? [ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ? [ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who���s in it ? [ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ? [ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ? [ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ? [ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?

[numberonesnarkfan]

behold, an extremely self-indulgent Harley/Elliot hurt/comfort one-shot. (NOT ship content I'll put glue in your hair)

[numberonesnarkfan]

I've been expecting yooouu.... Welcome to my tunglr

G'day! You can call me Phoenix or Ithersta or whatever you prefer. All pronouns are chill.

I'm a jack-of-all-trades creative and hyperfixation hopper. I sing, draw, paint, write, voice act, analyse, animate, etc, etc, etc...

this is a DID system run blog!

Peruse my brain spaghetti at your leisure. Bone apple tit.

[numberonesnarkfan]

the fabled Robin Nelson Death Pose

[numberonesnarkfan]

@fastafeijoa I had a Thought and then this happened

[numberonesnarkfan]

Kevin, the middle child. (Faceless dog)

[numberonesnarkfan]

Limited-time collectors' edition!

[numberonesnarkfan]

workplace reunion.

[numberonesnarkfan]

thinkin about... Doey.. Ok here's some more autism

a while ago to start practicing writing dialogue for him, I went through all his dialogue and tried to identify which 'self' was speaking at any given time and what I found was pretty interesting.

except in extreme distress, none of the boys ever seem to talk fully individually, it's more like a spectrum between all three where Doey always leans toward one of his three 'parts'.

Kevin's voice is actually softer than the other two's. Unless he's really angry he generally speaks in a low murmur that sounds very practiced and controlled.

He also is a lot less angry than it seems the fandom thinks - I think because they take the word of the Evil Scientist's dehumanising monologue about him as gospel. (It's not necessarily, and is also talking about him in the PAST, from over TEN YEARS AGO)

Doey also really really seems to have parallels to the Freudian Trinity of Mind. (Matthew = Ego Kevin = Superego Jack = Id) if that's intentional, which I hope it is, that's pretty cool since it sort of brings the theming of chapter 4 back around to being about the brain.

Kevin is of course the most immediately interesting of the three since the most attention is drawn toward him but the other two have interesting characterisation as well.

Matthew is tired, he's been resigned to his fate all his life and took it on the chin with a weary smile even when the Things Just Never Stopped Keep Happening. As the caretaker, he sees himself as responsible for regulating not only his own emotions but everyone else's as well. It took a lot to crack him and cause him to become part of Doey's implosion.

Jack seems to be perpetually in a kind of state of shock, or maybe stunted development. Listening to the dialogue, it seems like he can't help but giggle and interject at strange moments, usually with a smile on his voice. His whimsical cartoon persona isn't just for display, it's how his psyche protects him. After a sudden, overwhelming major traumatic incident that completely changed his life, his unconscious mind needed a way to keep itself alive, and learned, 'well, the world can't be painful and scary if I perceive it as silly and fun!' ...Until, of course, pain of either emotional or physical kind shocks him out of it and causes him to shutdown or meltdown.

When Doey lost Safe Haven, that wasn't any of their first time losing their home. Not even their second time. Or third, if you count being taken from your body as losing a home.

I think Doey is both good and bad as system rep. The bad comes from the fact that we see him from an "outsider who is the victim of a violent attack by a mentally ill person" perspective, which is always going to be iffy no matter what.

The good comes from the fact that none of his parts are presented as malicious or even selfish, all of them want to protect, care for or improve the lives of the people they care about, and generally they work together in harmony. Doey is what a system is not just because he has multiple identities, but also because all of those parts work together in order to survive after a majorly traumatic childhood.

[numberonesnarkfan]

I don't post sys stuff super often but I figure y'all would appreciate "Harlaby", an alter fusion that I think you can guess the composite parts of.

[numberonesnarkfan]

www.guy-for-whom-the-bell-tolls.com/careers