ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Jumba: I do not understand! What did Jumba do that warrants this much arresting?!

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Pleakley: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Nani: Let me see what you have!

Lilo, running by: A knife!!! [holds up knife]

Nani: NO!!!!

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Jumba: At end of the day, Halloween isn't about candy or costumes. Or even scaring people. It is day when whole 'ohana can get together at one place and celebrate what really matters; PURE EVIL!!

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Pleakley: Yesterday, it was the maintenance man. And today, it was GOD who fucked my basil!

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Lilo: [reading a question from her math homework so she can get help with it] Wendy has 19 bottles of dish soap, and she gives-

Jumba: Wait, why is Pleakley having so many soaps?

Pleakley, who happens to actually have 19 bottles of dish soap: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, JUMBA! [pouring dish soap into his hand]

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Gantu, to Reuben: Your head would make a lovely ant farm.

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Nani: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter?

Pleakley: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes.

Jumba: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Angel, to Stitch: If meega run and leap at Jumba, he most certainly catch me in arms!

[she starts running at Jumba]

Jumba: NO! Holding coffee-!

Angel: [jumps at him]

Jumba: [Drops glass coffee pot to catch Angel]

Jumba: [Grumpily holds her and looks at the shattered coffee pot on the floor]

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Stitch: Can't you go any faster?

Jumba, falling back onto Stitch: Oh no! Gravity is increasing on me.

Stitch: [pushing against him] No it's not!

Jumba: It is so 626, same thing happened yesterday.

[he lets himself go limp and falls back on Stitch]

Stitch: Jumba rotten creator! Patookie is crushing me!!

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Jumba: GO TO YOUR ROOM!!

Stitch: Stitch already IN meega room!

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

[Jumba and Pleakley trying Earth marijuana for the first time]

Pleakley: Jumba, are you real?

Jumba: I… I am thinking I am…

Hallucination of René Descartes: That's actually some pretty solid evidence.

Jumba & Pleakley: René Descartes??!

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Lilo: Your lab is in the bathroom?

Jumba: Nani says this is perfect place for Jumba's work. I’m just now realizing that remark may not have been entirely complimentary.

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Reuben: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.

Gantu: What changed your mind?

Reuben: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Lilo: [makes Jumba a cup of tea but puts salt in it]

Jumba: [sips tea]

Lilo:

Jumba: [finishes tea]

Lilo: Didn't it taste bad?

Jumba: Yes, but I did not want to hurting your feelings so I drank it all.

Lilo, tearing up: Oh, okay.

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Nani: So, are you two dating now?

Jumba & Pleakley: Yes.

Nani: Why?

Jumba: I happen to find Pleakley very appealing.

Nani: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Pleakley.

[ohana-means-quoting-incorrectly]

Jumba: Something is burning?

Pleakley: My burning love for you of course!

Jumba: …

Pleakley: …

Pleakley: And the kitchen is on fire…