onthedecrease

[onthedecrease]

S'MORES QUEST BARS!!!!!! ALL of the happy :)

[onthedecrease]

While I'm feeling absolutely miserable, an awful thought just hit me:

I'm going to be fighting this for the rest of my life.

I'm tired of it.

I wish I could turn back time and eliminate this fucking stupid illness from my life.

I even hate the word....I HATE BULIMIA!!! THERE I SAID IT!!!!

[onthedecrease]

I Miss You All!

I really do!

I am so busy with work right now it's crazy and going through a lot of recovery ups and downs.

Lots of love xxx

[onthedecrease]

Monday PT Session done and dusted, in the afternoon today instead of my usual evening. I knew the empty car park was a good sign, so much room to move today. Today we did a weight and cardio circuit, can't say I smashed it because I feel like crap...... @goodlifehc @lornajaneactive @cottononbody #goodlifehc #ptsession #cardio #weights #strength #muscles #gym #fitness #exercise #workout #training #selfie #gymselfie #fitnessfashion #lornajane #cottononbody #fitgirl #fitblr #fitchicks #fitstagram #fitfam #instafit #movenourishbelieve #activeliving #girlswholift #girlswhosquat #strongnotskinny #boobsnotbones

[onthedecrease]

Back on the wagon! Banana smoothie with skim milk, honey and cinnamon. I have dearly missed my blender #breakfast #smoothie #banana #fruit #health #diet #nutrition #balance #lifestyle #healthy #healthyfood #fitgirl #fitblr #fitchicks #fitstagram #fitfam #instafit #movenourishbelieve

[onthedecrease]

I'm missing my old body today, I don't look anything like this pic anymore....or fit into that dress either!!!

[onthedecrease]

Good morning from my car! Today I have my final B12 Injection and a check up in regards to my anti depressants. Also doing a new mental health plan to get my psychologist appointments back to affordability! I don't know why I'm so nervous today, just that everything feels so final today, like I'll well and truly be on my own. Deep breaths.......

[onthedecrease]

Arrived home after my PT session to find a parcel of wonderful HEALTH AND FITNESS gifts! We all know that I'm LJ crazy but I also have a mega Kikki K obsession, use a ton of their stuff for planning. This journey is a lot easier with amazing support by my side ♡ Thank you @msdanaclare I really need those socks! @lornajaneactive @kikkik_loves #lornajane #kikkik #stationery #fitnessfashion #fitgift #parcel #presents #spoilt #lucky #thankful ##health #fitness #fitblr #fitstagram #fitgirl #fitfam #activeliving #movenourishbelieve #organised #motivation #prepared #lifestyle

[onthedecrease]

[onthedecrease]

Question?

It's a random one but I'm curious. How do you store your gym clothes? I have mine all folded up but I see all of these pretty pics of everything hung up in the wardrobe.

[onthedecrease]

gosh I’m so proud of all the people recovering from their eating disorder

like you go champ, you’re doing fantastic

please never give up

you’re all going to be so amazing

[onthedecrease]

Transformation Tuesday time. What a journey I've had! On the left was the day I decided to change my life - I was unhappy, overweight and unhealthy. In the middle after I lost weight I became unhealthily underweight. I was tired, hungry, miserable and just as unhealthy as before but in different ways. The right hand photo is from Monday night. I'm actually 7kgs heavier now than in the middle picture and I couldn't be happier. I am healthy, strong, fit and have energy! I'm still working towards loving my body for what it is but I'm well on my way #transformationtuesday #transformation #throwback #weightloss #weightlossjourney #weightgain #journey #beforeandafter #bodyimage #bodyacceptance #strongnotskinny #health #fitness #recovery #livelovenourish #movenourishbelieve #activeliving #fitgirl #fitblr #fitstagram #selflove #confidence #selfesteem #happy #proud #strength #courage

[onthedecrease]

How does Monday always come around so quickly?! Honestly I didn't work hard at all tonight but STILL have blisters on my palms...... @goodlifehc @lornajaneactive @camelbak @scivation #goodlifehc #ptsession #cardio #strength #workout #health #exercise #training #fitness #fitnessfashion #lornajane #camelbak #xtend #intraworkout #gymselfie #gym #strongnotskinny #activeliving #movenourishbelieve #fitquote #fitgirl #fitblr #fitstagram

[onthedecrease]

[onthedecrease]

Big Breakthroughs and Big Decisions

Today's therapy session was confronting - and rewarding!

A few months ago now I had to make a list of all of the foods I felt safe with, felt okay with, avoided mostly and avoided totally. I also had to write down all of my food rules.

Today we revisited them...and WOW! Some of the rules are the stupidest things in the world. I don't even know how or why I made them but at some point they made sense. Some of the foods I avoided were ridiculous.

So this week we have the first food challenges. I have to eat:

An apple (used to think it was too carby), carrot sticks (also too carby) with hommus AND have CRUMPETS (ahhhhhh) for breakfast one day.

It seems so stupid now! Being scared of fruit and veggies is ludicrous. The crumpets I'm not completely sold on.

I've eaten pretty much all of the foods that I would have mostly and totally avoided and broken most of the rules I used to have without realising. My therapist is so happy with my progress. Still haven't counted calories.

The last step now is anti depressants to help stabilize my moods. They arrived today and they're sitting next to my bed. I'm so nervous about taking them tomorrow, I just don't know what to expect or how I'm going to feel or if I'm going to have side effects................I don't like things I can't control.

Wish me luck!

[onthedecrease]

Boom boom POW! Backed up last night's Attack class with some Tabata boxing alternated with squats in my PT Session this morning plus some strength on the TRX, the rower and then some core work. Surprisingly not too sore after last night but I think that tomorrow will be rest day @goodlifehc @lornajaneactive #goodlifehc #ptsession #cardio #strength #boxing #exercise #workout #training #fitness #tabata #workoutwednesday #fitnessfashion #lornajane #gymselfie #selfie #girlswhosquat #strongnotskinny #fitgirl #fitblr #fitstagram #activeliving #movenourishbelieve #fitquote

[onthedecrease]

This was one of the hardest but most important lessons I've learnt. I've gained 5kgs over the last 6 months from training regularly and eating a relatively healthy diet - and guess what?! MY CLOTHES STILL FIT! My body is thriving and replacing fat with muscle so my size has stayed very similar. I feel vibrant and full of energy. I'm not a number and I won't let a number define me as my whole worth. In all honesty I don't own a scale anymore, I got rid of it! Regram from @pinkbarbell #scales #weight #weightloss #weightgain #muscles #strongnotskinny #lifelesson #notanumber #strength #recovery #fitgirl #fitblr #fitquote #pinkbarbell #regram