pillofmoonlight - Tumblr blog

[pillofmoonlight]

"teri surat se hai aalam mein baharon ko sabaat, teri aankhon k siwa duniya mai rakha kya hai”

Faiz Ahmad Faiz

[pillofmoonlight]

I need a father, I need a mother, I need some older wiser being to cry to. I talk to God but the sky is empty.

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[pillofmoonlight]

dating??? how about we both become each other's habits and understand each other's weaknesses and not use them against each other.

[pillofmoonlight]

I have been told a gazillion times by a gazillion people on the internet and in real life, to be careful with people, to use my brain with people. How do I explain that I CANNOT??? And above all I DO NOT wish to use my brain to understand people because I want to understand them by my heart. I want to read into their souls and pour into them. Yes it will empty me, eventually and it often does but I'll refill my cup. My brain is meant for literature, complex machines, science, mathematics. If I have to use my brain to know people, I'd rather know none.

[pillofmoonlight]

I guess my roman empire is how often women ask the men who treat them right whether they are real or fictional. Like how used to mistreatment you have to be to believe a man is not real or is fictional for just treating you right like a human being???

[pillofmoonlight]

One of my biggest fears is that the last time I see someone I love, I won't hug them tight enough or I won't tell them how much I value them and love them. Losing people is an inevitable part of life and sometimes as a part of the gradual process of growing up. Now I might forget that all but I rarely forget people in my life. And in those moments in my whistling solitude I'll think of them and I'll think abt the day I last saw them and I didn't hug them tight enough. Just come back to my arms for one last hug and we'll part ways again for all the differences. Like agree to disagree for a hug?

[pillofmoonlight]

my femme girlfriend: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

me: [throwing on shorts and a tank top] okay baby i love you and you look so pretty

[pillofmoonlight]

it's October—

i feel myself in my skin,

i feel more alive,

than i've ever been.

it is the mark of my;

spectacle of spring,

the leaves that fall,

fade away my sins.

and i feel like me,

in this crimson whim.

— pillofmoonlight

[pillofmoonlight]

Everytime I tell someone that I don't think I can do xyz, their response is "yes you can do it" but what if I can't. What if I fail?? Because all my life i've learnt is no one loves a failure. No one loves you for failing to do things. Everyone wants and expects you to just never make mistakes.

[pillofmoonlight]

Wasn’t friendship its own miracle, the finding of another person who made the entire lonely world seem somehow less lonely? Wasn’t this house, this beauty, this comfort, this life a miracle?

Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

[pillofmoonlight]

are you a "mad woman" fan or are you completely free from the burden of being condescendingly treated whenever you are angry because you are a woman and no one likes a mad woman and which in turn makes your anger issues worse.

[pillofmoonlight]

I really want someone to ask what my favourite things are and then I want them to ask me the why and then I want them to listen to me eagerly instead of making me look dumb. And then I want to do the same for them. Is it too much to ask?

[pillofmoonlight]

The heat will soon be kinder,

As September knocks on the door,

And the wind might cheer up just a little

As I dance across my hardwood floor.

The dreams will be less sour,

Softness will settle in,

For the threshold to novelty,

Falls upon this brim.

— pillofmoonlight

[pillofmoonlight]

i cried because of that. tears of pure joy 😭

hey don't cry okay India became the first country to reach the south pole of the moon by the successful landing of chandrayaan-3 leaving it's colonizers who kept making fun of us for trying in dust <3

[pillofmoonlight]

i'll try to explain this for the last time in the simplest words possible:

If someone tells you that you said something that hurt them or did something that hurt them, stop trying to justify it by saying "i didn't mean to do so" or "i didn't mean to hurt you so try to understand my pov and stop acting out". Just apologise. Ffs APOLOGISE.

If you fired a gun at your friend by accident, it doesn't matter whether you intended to do so or not, they would bleed to death if you don't rush them to a hospital. You can't just tell them that you didn't intend to do that so they should stop bleeding. There's no harm in accepting that you can make mistakes. We don't always choose the words wisely because we can't. We are humans and we make mistakes. Miscommunications can happen. What's worse is not accepting that it happened.

JUST APOLOGISE. I see another person trying to gaslight someone into thinking that they are crazy because they are sensitive, i'll summon thanos myself.

Invalidating someone's feelings and telling them that they are overreacting will never solve a conflict and will only make it worse. grow up and become a better person. stop giving excuses for your bad behaviour.

[pillofmoonlight]

I watched One Day and the part where after Emma's Death, Dexter's dad tells him to live his life as if she were still there and Dexter finds it hard to believe that it's even possible and to which his dad replies "What do you think I've been doing for the past 10 years?" This part lives in my head. I was so caught up in Dexter's mom being Dexter's mom that I forgot someone lost the love of their life too. Someone who was used to spending hours of their day being beside her or sleeping next to her, had to sleep with her place empty for the rest of his life and with no chance of seeing her in this life.

[pillofmoonlight]

i have some morbid interests in media. Not in a serial killer documentary sort of way. sure they are cool. But what calls my soul is the death in movies and shows that drives everyone sad. I want to watch more and more of the sort of stuff that reminds me of death. I guess it's because it reminds me of how granted I take the people in my life and how much it makes me fall more in love with them. It is a sort of reminder that makes me so soft that I want to take care of people I love and wanna see them smile more.