protags-latenight-vents

[protags-latenight-vents]

Casually hallucinating like a MF and just. 'Yeah thats the demons they dont leave me alone' despite trembling. Double bookkeeping baybieeee.

[protags-latenight-vents]

minor incovenience: happens

the urge to say "this is my fault because i'm a bad person and you're being punished for being associated with me. you should take out your frustration on me for this thing that is definitely within my personal ability to control.":

[protags-latenight-vents]

Im probably being dramatic. Its probably nothing.

I feel like my partner is getting bored of me. Hes under a lot of stress and i get that, of course. but like even when he does have time to give me i just. feel like im the only one taking up space. Like im the one talking and suggesting things and paying attention. I know hes tired from it all but fuck man idk. It sucks. And i know i require a fucking absurd amount of attention but like. idk.

He'll be coming down to see me soon, itll be easier then, because there wont be the constraints of long distance, i just hate waiting.

Fuck dude idk i just feel so ignored.

[protags-latenight-vents]

love the addicts around you. love the addicts in your life. love them when they're sober and love them when they're not

[protags-latenight-vents]

the urge to disconnect from everyone.

Im already being a constant jackass, might as well actually get them all to hate me for real.

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ohohohoh i am not doing good. Ohhh i forgot about the separation anxiety. ohhohoh i am not feeling the vibe.s. Ohhh where is my man.

[protags-latenight-vents]

Babez you were just hungry chill tf out.

i am . fucking up my relationship i think.

i dont know why i am doing it.

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this is in no way a serious vent but i have finally just taken to blocking idiots who have bad takes on shit i like??

{Undisclosed ship} is gross!!! its {insert bad thing}!!!

And {insert bad thing} is something that was popularized by like. The fandom. Or like a subsect of it. And is in no way canon adjacent. and these idiots haven't ever bothered to consider that not everyone who likes the ship likes {insert bad thing}

{Person related to making canon} doesnt like {Undisclosed ship}!!!! Plus {Other ship} is canon!!!

Canon is a toy to be played with. As long as youre being a normal fucking person ship what you want.

Also, Multishipping exists. i can ship {Other ship} AND {Undisclosed ship} you absolute imbecile.

Ignore how bitchy this is. The NPD rage and 'im better than these idiots' is very strong today.

[protags-latenight-vents]

Sometimes npd is funny silly im the best disorder

Most the time however your boyfriend has a day off and spends it doing self care and all you wanna do is fucking blow up and get violent because what the fuck??? pay attention to me???? I litterally did something cool and youre talking about shit i dont care about??? I hope you die???

[protags-latenight-vents]

Being a ramcoa system is so hard.

What do you Mean something made me feel emotions too hard and now im going to be incapable of functioning normally for multiple days until my internal program managers sort shit out?????

I hate everything.

I have shit to do.

[protags-latenight-vents]

*the sound of multiple shot glasses clinking against a counter, one after the other.*

Guess whos having a bad time again!??

[protags-latenight-vents]

I love being (physically) ill / in a flare up so my emotions are more unstable, and i, as an alter who majorly holds aspd traits, am an irritable mess.

And my poor puppy, who i know can't help it or understand why I won't play with her, keeps jumping on me and growling and barking and i just get so fucking frustrated.

I love this dog to death i really do but she pisses me off and i cant handle it so i just fucking cry.

Its pathetic.

[protags-latenight-vents]

I forgot how nice it was to drink. Not being able to really see or think. I don't hurt as much. headspace is quiet. its really nice.

cant wait for the regret tomorrow tho lol.

[protags-latenight-vents]

You treated me like an

ADULT

when i was still so

YOUNG

[protags-latenight-vents]

and what if i do whore myself out again? what’ll happen? i’ll feel shit afterwards but at least someone’s gonna be calling me pretty. i need to let people use my body otherwise i’m not pretty at all

[protags-latenight-vents]

Doesn't get as much supply as im used to in a day

*Splits and relapses, ensuring that my EP will be more done with my shit come tomorrow but feel bad and will give me more supply*

[protags-latenight-vents]

i have no idea what im saying so here we go.

I hate being an addict. i hate the cravings and withdrawals. i just wanna sleep until I'm better. my people don't deserve this. i hate all that i cant control this.