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Pen ONLY. No pencil used. No erasing. Had to work with all mistakes.

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First time ever doing a pen ONLY sketch.

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53 Days Later.

When the day came to take me away, you looked in my face & still claimed it'd be okay.

You stared daggers into my soul as I wept & begged for them not to take me away & you told me clear as day that I'd be okay.

Just have faith.

But faith has bled from the creases of every pore.

You looked beside you at the whore & said blessed are the wicked.

We came together & cried as you stood there watching us be led to our miserable deaths.

You told me "it will never get that bad, don't overreact. Its just a fad. It'll be gone soon enough."

But the day came & I was no longer there.

You went among the world & all were gone.

The world is in ruin & it's too late.

You've decided your fate as you continued to be complacent & have the belief that it'd never get so bad.

53 days later.... you found yourself fallen to the ground in mass defeat, not knowing how to make a sound.

53. Days. Later.

That's all it took before your best friend was swept under the rug, gone with no trace & hidden in little dark rooms surrounded in mazes of confusion & torture.

53 days & you have awoken to realize that you were being fed full of lies & lulled into blissful ignorance & complacency.

You swore they wouldn't come for you. For me. For your sons or your daughters.

You promised yourself & others that it'd all be okay, just stay the course.

Just wake up. Get dressed. Go to work. Come home. Pay your bills & do not make a sound.

Do not make ripples within the waves & it'll all be okay.

I promise, it's really going to be okay.

Just do NOT make new waves.

Do not let the tsunami take hold, because it's really not there.

But you saw the weather change & the shoreline swallow itself whole. Suddenly you're drowning in your own ugly blissful ignorance.

"Oh but I didn't know any better."

You plead & begged as they dragged you away.

"Please. You promised it would be different. That I would be saved. You swore my friends would be okay"

But they never did. They told you from day one they never cared.

You just convinced yourself that YOU would be safe.

Telling yourself they were the saviors, to keep yourself from falling into that abyss.

But now I am gone.

Locked in a tiny dark room, being bled alive.

I will never give up. You will have to pry my name, my dignity, my life, from the depths of the hells you have created. For I am so much more than your hatred & cowardice.

I am love & light within the hate & darkness.

I am community & peace.

I am the end of that long tunnel in the dead of night.

I will claw my way out of this if it's the last breath I draw.

You were wrong. They are here, knocking at the door.

You kept promising us it would be different.

You need to wake up. Wake up.

For it's all the same routine, but this time there can be big change.

You just need to wake up.

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Finally finished this piece.

Proud of it

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Currently working on this piece as well. The original base to it was found on tiktok, I added my own flare to it, however it is based off of/inspired by another's art.

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Need to color it in but I started this new piece. I'm pretty proud of it. I did take inspiration of certain elements, from other pieces of art I've seen done in a similar fashion.

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My newest works of art, still not finished.

These are insects infected by the "Ophiocordyceps unilateralis". Also known in short terminology as the "cordyceps" mushroom.

It is one of the species of mushrooms that infect insects and act as a sort of "zombie" mushroom..they take control of the neuropathways of the brain & basically take control of the insects, rendering the insects incapable of controlling their own body. These mushrooms take over as a way to spread their spores. This species of mushroom typically infect ants.

They are the mushroom that the game "the last of us" was based off of.

There's another species that takes over spiders, having a similar effect.

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Been really proud of this sketches. Love the colors. I feel it's so vibrant.

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Traversing the Journey of Self Love

Each day faces it's own new & unique challenges.

Prior to surgery it felt impossible to even see my reflection. If it wasn't a perfectly orchestrated self taken image, that masked my curves & chest, then I would never share myself.

Each time I looked in the mirror & saw who was looking back at me, it was a level of disconnect I genuinely thought would never go away. Like trying to see yourself but you see an imposter, an alien, someone/something that had an essence of yourself, but something was just so deeply wrong & off about it.

It gave extreme uncanny valley affect for me.

This feeling like I didn't belong.

Its been slowly changing as ive seen the effects of the testosterone do what it's meant to do.

As ive noticed my voice deepen, facial hair start to creep in & fill out, my jawline sharpen, feet growing, body hair growing thicker. Finally having chest hair...

Its given me a better sense of connection with myself. For each little change, brings me to one day looking in the mirror & finally start to see ME staring back into the mirror.

Its has been a cascade of emotions..

Self hatred seeped deep within myself, clinging to me like tar. Desperate for me to give in.

Thinking I would not live past 18. Feeling so trapped, so lost, so alone & yet so put on full display, all at once.

Now im nearly 3 months post op, & i can actually enjoy my self care. I actually speak love onto myself as I wash away the filth of the day, standing there, bare & naked. On display for my own self. A monumental moment for myself, as I finally faced my very own body without this drastic, desperate need to peel my own skin off.

I looked down for the first time post op, & even with tube's hanging from my sides, still attached within me, I cried. I cried hard. I cried tears of joy. Tears of relief. I cried for the part of myself that tried so hard to kill itself. The part of me who saw myself as a monster. The part of me that was so confused, so lost, so overwhelmed & so disgusted with my own body.

Each day i face myself in the mirror & i can actually smile, see joy. See ME looking back.

I face new challenges of self love. I am a short, hairy chubby guy. I've always been chubby but I had a chest to balance my body out. Now it's all belly. Now I look down & I see my chubby hairy belly. It sometimes is difficult because I'm not a stereotypical hot skinny trans dude that's conventionally attractive.

But even still, I can shower, bare & naked & i can do it with the lights on. I can do it & actually look upon my own flesh & not feel like i must tear it to shreds, desperately trying to escape it.

For I now look in the mirror, & i see ME.

No more feeling out of place. No more feeling hideous. No more fear over what my future of self love would be... for i have shown myself so much love, that I finally stood up, opened my eyes & truly saw my TV glow. I saw my TV Glow & i will never shut it off again.

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Never ever allow for Nazis to do their bullshit. It don't matter if they seem nice. You put them Nazis in their fuckin place.

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We don't take kindly to no weird Nazi shit round these parts

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One more big dump of my mushroom pictures. I love finding mushrooms to photograph!!!

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I'm so happy I found these clusters of mushrooms

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Some of my photography. I LOVE mushrooms 💜 these cute lil things were in my yard.