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Hi! I just wanted to say that I LOVE your blog, when I’m between therapy sessions I always know I can come here and feel better, thank you for being so great! 💙

Hi angel!

This is such a lovely lovely thing to hear. Thank you for taking the time to let me know!

I am so glad that you find some comfort and help here on my blog, and I hope it continues to be a safe space for you!

I want to congratulate you on taking a step forward with your mental health and reaching out for help with therapy! That’s so amazing, and I hope you celebrate that! Asking for help is definitely not an easy thing to do.

Thank you again, and I’m wishing you all the best <3 much love to you!

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Today we let ourselves grow and change instead of going back to what's easiest

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to fight OCD, just be Raven

when OCD conjures up an awful intrusive thought, just be sassy like Raven

or calm and cool like Raven

or light and silly like Raven

tl;dr: OCD sucks, so just be Raven

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I don't believe I'm a map, and my intrusive thoughts have only gotten bad since I developed pocd, but recently I've been finding it easier to let the thoughts stay than to dismiss them. They're also no longer explicitly sexual, more about fully clothed physical affection, just always linked to the groin somehow (smh), so i don't find them as unpleasant. Is this my ocd finally getting better? Or does it mean I really want the thoughts and have gotten tired of lying to myself?

Hi lovely

As with any mental illness, they are never stagnant. They are always changing and switching things up in order to keep you struggling and the wind knocked out of your lungs. I know it can be confusing!

From talking to a lot of people online and in the community, I’ve found that it’s very common for people to go through periods where their intrusive thoughts become less frequent or less intense (or their anxiety is less intense). But, of course, this often results in doubts and fears such as “well what if i’m getting used to it? what if I actually like it? if i’m not anxious does that mean I don’t have OCD? what if i never really had OCD?” and other things like that. There are several reasons why these changes can occur, but it can all be chalked up to: mental illnesses change. You experience new symptoms, and symptoms can change or appear in new ways. 

Intrusive thoughts are not something can really be “gotten rid of.” They are, by definition, uncontrollable. Part of healing from OCD, is learning to allow these thoughts to exist in your brain, and accept that they don’t have to mean anything. Accept the uncertainty. You mentioned that you’d been having an easier time of letting these thoughts just happen to you. This could be a sign of progression, but of course, without treatment, symptoms almost always return even if you’re feeling better. 

I definitely think that it would be in your best interest to talk to a doctor or psychologist about what you’ve been experiencing! You don’t need to suffer in silence, and you don’t need to go through this alone! Your feelings and symptoms are valid, and you can get help (and deserve to).You can feel at peace within your own mind again. 

In the meantime, I think it might be a good idea to learn more about your own symptoms and OCD in general. Here is a website that can get you started!

If you ever want to chat or vent about something, please feel free to message me anytime. I hope that you’re doing okay, and I wish you all the absolute best <3

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im turning 17 in a few weeks. I’m a junior. I checked out someone i thought was 14/freshman in a certain photo n how they positioned. I do NOT want to date or have relations w a 14 yr old/freshman. But i feel absolutely fucking terrible for looking at them like that. My mom said it was normal as it was in my age range to check someone out THAT way bc u thought they were attractive but not wanna do anything w them bc they were too young for you. but I DONT KNOW. i just feel fucking terrible

Hey there!

I’m sorry that you had this triggering experience! I can tell that it really upset you! I know how awful it is to have your brain make you question and doubt your intentions and who you are. It’s a terrible feeling! 

Do you experience these kinds of doubts and worries often? Or have you before in the past? I noticed that you asked your mom for her opinion on if it was a strange thing to do, which could be considered a reassurance seeking compulsion. Its very normal for people who struggle with OCD. 

If you have been experiencing a lot of anxiety surrounding this subject, I definitely think it would be a good idea to check in with your doctor or a psychologist about what you’re going through. I think you might find it beneficial! I know how scary that can be. Especially because it’s so common to feel such strong shame and guilt about your thoughts.Though, its good to remember that shame and guilt (and doubt) are all symptoms. A lot of people put off getting help and treatment because of these symptoms. 

If you ever want to chat, I’m always here and happy to listen! I hope you’re doing well, and please know that you won’t always feel this way. These worries won’t plague you forever. <3

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Hey, thank you so much for posting such great stuff! My OCD has been really bad because if I get certain triggers I get an immediate groinal response without even any thoughts, and it has caused me so much trauma that when I get it now I have the original feeling and the flashbacks or even just the flashbacks and stuff and it’s really awful. I was wondering if anyone else has a similar experience or tips? I am in treatment but finding it really difficult. 💛

Hi lovely!

Thank YOU for joining me on this blog! I’m so happy that you’re enjoying the content <3

I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been experiencing a lot of triggers. I know how emotionally exhausting and scary groinal responses can be. They are confusing, and it can often feel like you don’t have control of your own body. 

It can be helpful to know the actual causes of groinal responses! I find that often clears things up for people.For people with OCD, one of the biggest causes of groinal responses is anxiety! So when you get a trigger, it can cause immediate anxiety, which in turn can cause an immediate groinal response. There doesn’t necessarily have to be a thought before for you to have a groinal response!Another cause of groinal responses are checking. When you check the area to see if you’re feeling anything, your brain will actually say “oh hey! Maybe I should be feeling something down there?” and will send a signal to the area, causing a response. So if you’re getting triggered, and checking the area to see if you’re responding to the trigger, that may also be the cause of your groinal responses.I also try to emphasize that groinal responses are a natural part of being human. They can happen randomly and to certain stimuli (sexual or not). But just because you’re body is reacting to it, doesn’t mean you agree with it or would ever partake in it. That’s just what bodies do! 

It can definitely seem like they become more and more common as time goes on, and I remember how awful it made me feel.

I’m really sorry to hear about all the trauma that your OCD has caused. It definitely sounds like a hard to thing to work and live through, and a hard cycle to come out of!I really want to commend you for reaching out the get help. It definitely is no small thing! OCD can be such a hard thing to talk about, and asking for help is one of the first things you need to do in order to feel better. You really should feel proud of yourself for coming that far!I know it can be hard when you’re still really struggling, but every part of the healing journey deserves to be celebrated. I hope you’re seeking therapy with an OCD therapist (someone who does Exposure Response Prevention and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). These are the treatments to help OCD. If your therapist is trying to treat you with other therapies, they cannot treat your OCD.

If anyone else wants to share or has something to add, please feel free to! I hope that you’re doing okay, and I’m wishing you all the best, angel. Things will get better <3

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hello!! just need some clarification: i was having intrusions while trying to read and because i was tired and annoyed instead of dismissing them i thought "carry on then, if you're so determined not to leave me alone." im fairly sure that my response was unproductive, but i can't tell if it was unproductive because i subconsciously wanted to check, or if it was unproductive because i then panicked that it meant i secretly wanted the thoughts. what're your thoughts?

Hello love

Sometimes it can feel natural to try and push the intrusive thoughts away. Often times it is automatic! But actually, trying to “undo” the thoughts or ignore them is a compulsion! It can actually make things worse in the long run.It’s similar to, if someone were to tell you “don’t think of a purple elephant,” of course, all you can think of is a purple elephant. And, just like any other compulsion, it can actually continue the obsessive cycle of OCD. 

Intrusive thoughts and bodily sensations are a normal part of being a human. They aren’t something you can stop or control. Unfortunately, for people with OCD, we attach untrue meanings and misunderstand these thoughts and sensations. So the goal is not to get rid of intrusive thoughts, but actually to learn to live with them! To learn that having a random thought does not reflect your inner desires or identity.Its actually a hard thing to achieve, and can take some perseverance and professional help and knowledge.

So, when you say something like “fine then, go ahead.” instead of trying to stop the thoughts, you’re actually practicing a type of mindset that can be helpful for people with OCD. Of course, this is not something that can be done willy nilly or without the proper understanding. Just as you experienced, OCD can still twist this exercise around, and attach obsessive thoughts to it: “maybe i’m just saying that because I secretly want the thoughts.”

A large part of healing is learning to accept uncertainty, which can be really frightening! And it can definitely be hard to know exactly what that means, or what that looks like. A lot of people use the phrase: “so what?” to disarm their intrusive thoughts. To take the power away from them. With OCD, your thoughts can feel so serious and frightening, but when you get a thought like “you like these thoughts,” responding with “so what?” takes the power away from it.

Of course, like I said, certain techniques require a little more understanding and knowledge, and sometimes the guidance of a therapist! This is definitely not something you have to go through alone, and from what you’ve told me, I definitely think it would be worth your time to inquire with your doctor or a psychologist about what you’ve been experiencing (assuming you haven’t already). I hope this was able to clarify, and I hope you’re doing well <3 wishing you all the absolute best 

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🌹 a flower for everyone not feeling their best today

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You are blooming. Please give yourself time.

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I think i migjt have soocd and i cant differentiate false and real attraction and its driving me crazy. I was doing really well not paying attention to it but then i saw someone and thought they looked attractive and got worried if i was attracted to them so i thought 'i wanna have sex with them' to see how it would feel and i didnt feel grossed out and it didnt feel wrong or off like normal and that scared me because what if it was real attraction and now i cant stop thinking about it

Hi friend!

Obsessions can be confusing enough as it is, but especially when false attraction or false memories are thrown into the mix. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re experiencing all this self doubt and anxiety, I know how much it can impact your life and mental health.

Unfortunately, when it comes to false attraction, there is no trick you can do to “test” if it’s real. It always makes the anxiety worse. Ruminating over whether its real is a compulsion. Checking how you react to thoughts or images is a compulsion.

You can’t stop false attraction from happening (ie. you can’t stop finding certain people good looking, and worrying “what if I’m attracted to them?”). But what you can do is try to resist reacting to these thoughts / worries, and accept the uncertainty.

This is often a phrase that people use in response to intrusive thoughts: “so what?” So what if I’m attracted? So what if I think they’re good looking? So what if the idea of sex with them doesn’t disgust me? It takes the power back from the disorder. Do keep in mind that using this technique that can be triggering or anxiety inducing, and it’s best to be prepared before trying it.

If you haven’t talked to a doctor / psychologist about what you’ve been experiencing, I definitely think that you could benefit from it! You don’t have to go through this on your own, or figure things out by yourself. You deserve health and happiness and you can get it! Please know I’m always here if you ever want to talk ❤️

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what up, i’m Jared, I’m 19 and I have fuckin’ ocd

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When you want to watch the Witcher really bad but know that all the sex and female nudity will trigger you hocd really bad 😪😪

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thank you so so much for everything you've done. you've helped a lot of us and i'm very grateful for that, i hope you have a wonderful day/night!!

Thank you!!

I really really appreciate you taking the time to write in. All I’ve hoped for is to offer whatever help and info that I can!

I hope you’re doing well, and wishing you the best of the best ❤️

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Do you know of any good exposure techniques for Hocd?

Hi dear <3

I can recommend some things and hopefully you’ll find them helpful!

1. Reading a book/fan fiction or watching a movie/tv show with a gay couple in it

2. When you get intrusive thoughts/ start obsessing about HOCD, write down all of your thoughts! Once your finished, read it over a couple of times (this one is a very common exposure technique that can be used with any obsession).

3. Sometimes people avoid clothes (or a certain way of walking, talking, etc.) because they feel it makes them “look or seem gay.” If you have certain clothes you avoid for that reason, where them in public.

4. Donating to help for LGBTQIA+ youth. (Obviously, not everyone can do this, or do this often. But if you can, it can help you expose yourself to the ideas/thoughts and donate to a good cause simultaneously).

5. If there is a certain someone or a certain place that often triggers your thoughts, ask them to hang out / go there.

I hope these are helpful! Wishing you all the best

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I used to have really bad POCD back last year. But now it's mostly calmed down, but I dont have as much of a massive upset reaction anymore, despite having constant gronial reactions when seeing a trigger. I dont feel nearly as scared anymore too. Im concerned that I really AM a pedophile and i was just misdiagnosed. I want to kill myself, but I don't want to leave my best friend without his biggest source of support. What do I do?

Hello angel

I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing all this pain and confusion. Unfortunately, because OCD is such a painful disorder, many people develop depression because of the things they’ve experienced.

A lot of psychologists find it important to make the distinction about what part of the obsessive cycle causes the anxiety. The obsessive cycle is as follows: intrusive thought - obsessive thought - anxiety - compulsion - repeat

An intrusive thought is any random, unwanted or involuntary thought. An obsessive thought is when you attach a meaning to an intrusive thought (“why did I just think that?” What does that mean?” Etc). A lot of people worry when they don’t react immediately to an intrusive thought (ie. “I’m not feeling anxious, maybe I’m actually enjoying the thoughts now” “I’m not reacting, maybe I never had OCD,” etc). But it’s actually not intrusive thoughts that cause anxiety, it’s obsessive thoughts!OCD and how it affects you can change all the time. It rarely remains constant. A lot of people begin to not react immediately to an intrusive thought and then feel anxious about not feeling anxious (not realizing that “I’m not feeling anxious, what does that mean?” Is actually an obsessive thought).

Unfortunately, it’s very common for people with OCD to worry that they’ve been misdiagnosed or that they “tricked their doctors.” This disorder will make up any doubt to keep you anxious and obsessing. This is because OCD is not just about a singular theme (like POCD), but it’s a cycle that can attach to any theme (ie. having OCD about OCD: “what if my doctor was wrong? If they were wrong and I don’t have OCD, then that means my fears are true and I’m a p*dophile”).

Unfortunately, your symptoms won’t go away with a diagnosis, and it’s treatment (and/or medication) that can give you the peace of mind you deserve. I would really recommend talking to your doctor or psychologist again about receiving therapy, and all the struggles you’re going with currently. I will say to make sure any therapist you see is an OCD therapist (they do Exposure Response Prevention and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).

You can enjoy your life again, and you can find a reason to live for yourself. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been considering suicide. You can get help, dear.

If you’re feeling suicidal please call 1-800-273-8255 or visit www.suicide.org

If you’re in immediate danger, please call 911 or your local emergency number.

If you ever want somebody to talk to, you can try imalive.org! They’re trained to speak with people who are feeling suicidal, and help you get through urges. You can also just go there if you’re feeling low because of your symptoms. And I’m always here if you ever want to talk or get something off your chest!

Wishing you the best angel. You can get through this.

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hi! i'm sorry if this sounds childish but i don't really know another way to explain it... my intrusive thoughts feel like haters on my brain. Like you know those people on twitter that have nothing better to do with their free time than saying horrible things about a certain celebrity 24/7? that's exactly how it feels. And no matter how much i try to explain myself that what 'they' are saying makes no sense ("you are a whore" i'm LITERALLY a virgin ??) it just doesn't stop. Is this common?

Hi lovely :)

Intrusive thoughts are very common! Because these thoughts are unwanted and involuntary, it can often feel like it’s coming from someone else, or something else that’s not yourself.

Though, intrusive thoughts are just thoughts and not actual voices. You hadn’t indicated this, but I thought I’d say this just in case!

It can be about absolutely any topic but it’s normally of a sexual, violent or blasphemous theme. And while they are very common, the average person is able to brush these thoughts off without much thought, worry or anxiety.

If these thoughts are causing you anxiety, or you find yourself obsessing about them often, then it might be more than just intrusive thoughts! If they continue to bother you, I would definitely consider talking to your doctor about it !

I hope this helps love. Please feel free to message me anytime!