purpleflameb0i - Tumblr blog

[purpleflameb0i]

Dihdidhsisjs can we stop finding more things wrong with ourselves

-S

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Why do I fit the criteria for npd. (Not that I'm mad or anything/gen, I'm just surprised)

-S

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WE SAW TWO THERIAN STICKERS AT A TOWN YESTERDAY !!!!! (THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE BUT WE DIDNT TAKE A PICTURE FOR SOME REASON :(((( )

-B

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Intro post !!

Hello, we're the Oculus System, and we have 9 members so far !!

Members are:

L (he/him)

S (he/she/it)

LC (he/him)

LL (he/she)

O (he/him)

P (they/it)

N (he/it)

B (any)

C (it/its)

(Names shortened)

We collectively use they/them and the name Fade ^v^

We're severely mentally ill, so we may not post very often :((

We struggle with isolation and social anxiety, so we most likely will not talk to people unless we're talked to first (plus we rarely interact with people's posts but we're trying to get better !)

Other accounts are:

@Fadedlilrat (mental illness blog, starting to be more active there)

And @Scopophobia-pfb (old art blog, barely active but we may post there)

We're bodily 15, so please no nsfw asks (or anything nsfw in general) !

We don't really have a dni, just please don't be rude or anything like that ^.^

I hope y'all enjoy our blog !!

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Ate some soup with chicken in it, doing better :33

-N

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Decided to look at surreal stuff that connects to my delusions !! Guess who's having another silly goober episode haha !!

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Amyways we split two new fictives and we might have DID, or more likely OSDD

We can't get an evaluation for it because 1. our therapist thinks we're all just because of "anxiety" and 2. we would have to go to a neurologist and we don't have the money, time, nor any way to get to one ourselves

[purpleflameb0i]

We should really start posting more often. We kinda just check our notes and then maybe scroll through a tag usually ? We never really know what to post anymore.

-?

[purpleflameb0i]

Okay so we’ve been having a really rough couple weeks and we got into Regretevator (a Roblox game) and we split a new fictive within like. an hour of playing

Fucking. Lampert is in our system now/lh

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Delusions are wild

Like, sometimes I completely believe that there are maggots in my arms or throat,

And sometimes I'm just physically a lil creature.

-O

[purpleflameb0i]

They should add a bite button to bite people

[purpleflameb0i]

HOLY SHIT WE GET TO BOOP PEOPLE !!!!

[purpleflameb0i]

Hey, you! You who suspect you might have PTSD, DID or another trauma disorder, but you think you didn't experience trauma "bad enough" to have developed a mental disorder from it? Let me suggest looking at it differently:

"If there's smoke, there's fire"

Do you experience symptoms of PTSD, such as hypervigilance, trouble sleeping, flashbacks, memory problems, dissociation, ect? Then yes, it was "bad enough". Maybe you don't remember anything "really bad" happening or you don't "feel like" it affects you, but listen to your body. The body remembers and the body doesn't care if you think it is "stupid" or "weak" to have a panic attack when someone touches you or that you still have nightmares about that thing you saw when you were 4 years old

Trauma isn't what happened. Trauma is the reaction to what happened. So what I'm trying to say is that if the reason you think you can't have PTSD/DID/OSDD/ect is because you didn't go through anything horrific enough for that, then maybe forget about what happened to you for a moment and just look at the evidence your body and mind are showing. And then, most importantly, be compassionate with yourself. You're going through a lot and it's gonna be okay in the end. Take it easy, okay? <3

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On one hand, learning that we’re a system (or most likely a system) is really cool and stuff and I’m glad I’m not alone in my head

But at the same time, it’s confusing and can be really stressful at times :((((

But, I still love all of us :333

[purpleflameb0i]

Been doing some self discovery lately,

And I’m probably a system !

I won’t get into detail and stuff, but I’m currently trying to get better at internal communication/communication in general o.o

Most likely traumagenic and nondisordered, but I cannot remember anything so I can’t exactly pinpoint our origins

Anyways, just so people know, we’re pro endo :33

I’m excited to know more about myself, but it’s also very anxiety inducing :((

Sorry about the ramble, have a good day, y’all ^v^

[purpleflameb0i]

Sometimes I forget that this is my blog and I can post whatever I want on it O.O

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“It’s just you being a teenager” “it’s just teenage mood swings”

I don’t think teens normally feel like they’re being ripped apart from the inside out and want to genuinely die/self harm when they feel emotions !!