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i’m beyond repairable.

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me & my obsession with spelling words deliberately wrong (just to make it funnier)

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Sometimes you need to sleep, sleep a lot. Not to escape, but to rest your soul from your feelings. Because everything, absolutely everything devours you. Completely.

—Brain

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i have so much to post, but now I’ll rant to Him (my Rabb) till I sleep.

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Your posts confuses me aik din aap ghamgeen hoti hay. Dusre din aap mohabbat mey hoti hay. Mgar aap jo bhi likhti hay mujhe pdhne pr aapsey mohabbat hojati hai. Agr aap kisi key mohabbat mey mubtala nahi hou to aapsey baat krna chahunga agar aapko muhabbat mey yakeen nhi to may yakeen dilawaunga aapsey wada krta hou.

Brother don’t consider me as a living person consider me as a temporary account on internet. Aur mohabbat jaise aazaab se Allah ki panah maangti hu maiñ. Meri tbhiyat ko mohabbat raas nahi aati hai. Aisa nahi ki mujhe mohabbat mein yakeen nahi, bs mere nazar mein ab mohabbat sirf ishq e haqeeqi ya uss paak zaat se hi hona behtar hai.

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if my whole life on tumblr was of a duration of 1 hour, then only 3 minutes are left for me to stay here.

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Mujhe unn logon se hasad hoti hai jo aasani se aage badh jaate hain, Jo bhool jaate hain, Jo apne ghamo ko dil se lgaye nahi baitha karte, Jinke paas sarmaye ke naam pr apne paale hue gham nahi hote. Jinke liye aasani mantakhib karna, apne aap ka nafa dekhna aasan hota hai. Jo bs aage badh jaate hain. Jinhe hnsne ke liye takleef nahi uthani pdti. Jinhe adakari nahi krni padti ki. Jo apne dil ka haal kisi se bhi keh sakte hain. Jinki dunya kisi ke bichadhne se ruk nahi jaati.

Aur dusri taraf maiñ hu, jo wahi khade reh jaate hain, Jiske liye bhoolna maut se zyada mushkil, Jiske liye uske gham hi uska sarmaya hai, Jiske samne aasani hote hue wo aasani mantakhib nahi krskte, Apna nuksaan krna aasan hota hai. Jo bas wahi ruk jaate hain. Jisey hansne pr bhi takleef hoti hai. Jo adakari krte hue hi zindagi basar karte hain. Jo chahe dunya ke sabhi alfaazon ko jod bhi lein tab bhi apna haal bayan nahi karskte.

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There is a certain clinical satisfaction in seeing just how bad things can get.

Sylvia Plath

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There's something daring about holding eye contact because it's no longer a "my eyes fell on you by accident", but rather something else.

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“Little moments? They are everything I could ever ask for.”

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"Mujhe muhabbat hai tum se”

"Lekin mujhe nafrat hai khud se”

"Kyun?"

"Kyun ke maiñ nafrat ke layak hu"

"Tum muhabbat ke layak ho"

"Kitni muhabbat karte ho tum mujh se?"

"Agar tum mera qatal kar do, aur mere jism ke hazaroñ tukray kar ke door kisi gaoñ ke kisi konay mein kisi andheri raat mein dafna dou, aur tumhein log poochein woh kahan gaya, aur pooch pooch ke tumhein tang kar dein, sirf itna kehna ke door pahado mein ek gaoñ hai, aur gaoñ ka ek kona hai, aur jis konein ki matti se meri muhabbat ki khushboo pooray gaoñ mein phail rahi hai, wahiñ dafan hai woh"

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“Aajao agar,

saansein meri,

tere pairon ki zanjeer karu”

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maiñ bhī bahut ajiib huuñ itnā ajiib huuñ ki bas

ḳhud ko tabāh kar liyā aur malāl bhī nahīñ

“I am very strange—so strange that I destroyed myself, and I don’t even regret it.”

- Jaun Elia

"In a sense, I'm the one who ruined me: I did it myself."

- Haruki Murakami

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"by one act I have ruined everything."

- Albert Camus

"In a sense, I'm the one who ruined me: I did it myself."

- Haruki Murakami

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"In a sense, I'm the one who ruined me: I did it myself."

- Haruki Murakami

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There is stability in self-destruction, in prolonging sadness as a means of escaping abstractions like happiness. Rock bottom is a surprisingly comfortable place to lay your head. Looking up from the depths of another low often seems a lot safer than wondering when you'll fall again. Falling feels awful.