Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Text
Careless Accidents
jason todd x fem!reader
aka you get hurt and jasonâs pissed
warnings: readerâs wrist is accidentally sprained from being grabbed to hard



You could hear scuttling from somewhere else in the garden, an estate more than sizable enough than the game afoot.
You were under the distinct impression though that the bats and birds are playing with you similar to how they would a child. Slower, weaker, and less experienced than the big kids. You weren't complaining though. Because, frankly, it was stressful. They tend to operate more like theyâre in a warzone than a game, you felt like you were about to be sniped out at any second.
Rightfully so, apparently, seeing how silently Stephanie had crept up on you.
âHey,â Stephanie hissed, ignoring the way you jumped. âWeâre doing alright for ourselves,â she said smugly.Â
âYeah,â youâd nodded, like you agreed with her more than you probably did.Â
âOkay listen, I think the flagââ what flag? ââis by the fountain so, I think because thereâs three of us and two of them, we should bait-and-switch.â
âWeâre on teams?â you asked, no longer completely sure you know what youâre playing.Â
âWe are now!â she smiled, starting to run. âIâll bait!â
She stopped briefly in her tracks and turned back to you hissing, âDonât trust Cass,â before scurrying away.
Rather than sit around and wait there forâŠsomething?...to happen, you jumped up darting in the opposite direction with little to no indication whether this is a good move.
What you didnât see is Cass rapidly approaching from your rear.Â
What you also didnât see was Dick crouched down in a row of shrubbery, which gave him the perfect opportunity to snatch your arm up and yank you down with him. Youâd mewled a bit as your wrist made contact harshly with the grass, immediately buckling under you.
Cass was keen to your pain immediately, slowing her sprint to a stroll as she observed you.
âAre you okay?â she signs.
âYeah, yeah, Iâm good.âÂ
The response was instinctual and you didnât actually have time to register whether or not you were okay by the time you gave it.Â
You pushed up on your elbows, trying to figure out whether Dick is even on your team, but the way the others approached had you halting consideration. Theyâre savvy to the situation at a speed in which you can only attribute to their vigilantism, looking at you with concern.Â
âYou good?â Tim asked, approaching languidly.
âThat looked like it hurt,â Cass commented, crouching down next to you to see your wrist better.
Dick shook his head, âNo, sheâs okay.â He turned to you, prodding, âYouâre okay.â
âYeah, Iâm, umâŠâ you winced, looking at your wrist. âIt hurts a little.â
Cass examined it closely, tilting it gently to the side. âIt might be sprained.â
Dick paled.Â
âNo.â
Tim pointed a thumb back towards the manor, âWe can get it wrapped upstairs.â
âNo.â
You were only then able to clock the barely contained grin on Stephanieâs face, begging to break. Â
âOoooh. Heâs gonna kill you.â
Cass had then kindly offered to take you inside and wrap it up for you, which you accepted, unexpecting of the plus-one of Dick trailing behind you like a guilty puppy all the while.
âYou know I didnât mean to grab you that hard right? IââÂ
Cass laughs quietly as she wraps the bandage around your wrist, amused by Dickâs now-third explanation/apology for the incident.Â
âI know, Dick,â you say, trying to appease him.Â
âIâm sorry,â he tells you genuinely, but you can tell thereâs more there that he isnât verbalizing.
You nod, âI know, Dick. Itâs okay. It was just an accident.â
Cass pins the wrapping in place securely and with a smile, signs to you that sheâs all done.Â
You rotate your arm a bit, testing your movement under the wrap. As Cass leaves with the first aid kit, Dick remains sat at your side, leg thumping up and down.
He takes a deep breath, âWhat ifâŠwhat if you avoid him until it heals?â
âDick.â
He takes your uninjured hand in his with urgency in his eyes,Â
He looks down at your jointed hands before loosening his already mild grip significantly.
âAre you going to tell him?â he asks, looking like heâs bracing for bad news.
You shake your head sympathetically, âNo. I canât guarantee you that he wonât find out, but I wonât tell him.â
Dick takes a deep breath, looking at the ground with intense focus. âOkay. Okay.â He stands, âI need to go.â
You watch in amused bewilderment as he staggers out the door, looking around frantically.Â
Within the next few minutes, he creates and enacts his plan A. He walks into the living room, sitting down next to a very disinterested Tim, eyes forward and serious.
âIâll give you two grand right now if you tell him it was you.â
Tim barks out, âAbsolutely not.â He looks at his brother, still laughing. âNo fucking way.â
Dick breaks the serious facade immediately, looking at him. âFive.â
A deadpan from Tim.Â
âYou donât have five thousand dollars.â
Dick throws his head back, back thudding against the couch. âDude, please! Heâll kill me!â
Tim scoffs, âHeâd kill me!â
Dick huffs, âNo, itâs different for me! Do you have any idea how many times he told me not to do that?âÂ
âWell then it sounds like you fucked up,â Tim sneers.
âOh my God.â
He takes off again, combing through different rooms in the house with hope of finding a quick but effective hiding place for, say, the next twenty years?
He bursts through the study, unwittingly interrupting Bruce and Alfred having a discussion over tea.
The latter sits up with a tense brow, âMaster Dick?â
The former turns around in his seat, âWhatâs the matter?â
Dick struggles for a second before confessing, âI accidentally sprained someone's wrist.âÂ
Bruce scans his face slowly, nodding. âAlrightâŠyouâll have to take responsibility for their patrol dutiesââ
Dick cuts him off with a sharp breath, âSaid person doesnât have any patrol duties to be affected...â
Bruce processes for a moment before shaking his head.
âI canât help you.â
Dickâs panic takes over again, prompting him to continue his scurry through the room, towards the other door.
Alfred interrupts his process with a very logical argument, âYou donât think running away will make this worse, Master Dick?â
âIâI donât know!â Dick whines, stopping in his tracks. âI donât know what to do!â
Bruce purses his lips, gesturing, âDick, when you make a mistakeâŠyou have to submit to the consequences, you know that.â
Dick gapes, âThis is not a normal consequence!â
Meanwhile, youâve busied yourself with fiddling with the knick knacks and mementos lining the shelves of Jasonâs childhood bedroom.Â
Youâre admiring a picture of him and Alfred from when he was young as the door creaks open behind you.Â
âSweetheart?â Your boyfriend calls out, head barely poked in through the crack.
âHey, Jay,â you smile, setting the picture frame back on the shelf.
He enters fully, covered in motor oil and grease, and smiles his sweet, easy smile when he sees you.Â
Moving onto the next trinket on the shelf, you pick up a stuffed animal placed intentionally at the front. Your gaze finds the mirror, watching his reflection as he pulls the stained shirt off his back.Â
You smile to yourself, noticing the way his back muscles flex as he adjusts. âHowâs the bike?â
âBetter than it was this morning,â he sighs. âWhereâve you been?â
He turns around to look at you, taking easy steps towards you.Â
You return the toy elephant to its place, moving to face him. âUh, we were outside, playingâŠat least three separate games at once.â
The second youâre in proximity, your hands join like itâs second nature.Â
He nods, all too familiar with the familyâs unique methods of gamefair.
âDid thââ He looks down at your intertwined hands, brow furrowing as soon as he spots the bandage wrapped around your wrist. âWhat happened?â
You glance down, shrugging. âOverexerted myself playing tag.â
He looks at you skeptically, but says nothing about it.
He turns your hand over gently, asking, âIs it sprained?â
You nod, relaxed. âYeah. Cass said itâs mild.â
âDoes it still hurt?â
âNo,â you say, sweeping his hair back with your other hand. âBarely hurt then.â
He nods, but he doesnât look satisfied with the conversation.
Regardless, he turns away again, shuffling through a drawer for a clean shirt.Â
âYou, uh, you wanna stay for dinner tonight?â he asks, pulling his arms through, his head following.Â
âYeah,â you say gaily. âAlfred said heâs making his âspecial spaghettiâ, apparently itâs a household favorite?â
He wavers, halfway to between decisions. âYeahâŠâ
He huffs quietly, turning back to face you fully. âCan I see it?â
You nod, happy to ease his mind.Â
You start to unwrap the bandaging, him doing half the work for you. The work is done silently until your wrist is exposed, revealing your bruised skin.
You both see it at the same timeâthe hand-shaped bruise wrapped around your wrist.
Youâre both quiet for a secondâhim putting pieces together and you waiting for the shoe to drop.
He takes off suddenly, clearly having come to a likely very accurate conclusion about what had happened.
âFucking idiotââ
You try for his hand but heâs out of reach before you can grab it.
âIâll be right back,â he grumbles behind him.
âJasonââ you sigh, âAt least help me wrap it back up first.â
He hesitates, halfway to the door, ultimately returning to you in defeat. He takes your forearm gently, scanning it over again before beginning to wrap it.
You watch his face closely, noting the clear vexation. âIt was just an accident,â you tell him.Â
He scoffs, âIt better have been.â
You drop your shoulders and lull your head to the side. âJason. Iâm not made of glass, you canât expect other people to act like it.â
âI donât. I expect him to mind his own strength, and if he canât do that, he needs to keep his fucking hands to himself.â
You sigh, âJust donât do anything harsh. Please. I think heâs worried youâre gonna punch him.â
âHe should be,â he says shortly. He finishes off the wrapping, pinning it in place firmly.Â
You grab onto his forearm before he can pull away, âYouâre not going to. Right?â
He doesnât answer so you try to make his gaze meet yours, âRight?â
His eyes roll, âYeah, fine.â
You smile, holding his face. âI love you.â
He huffs as though heâs inconvenienced, but confesses the obvious truth nonetheless. âI love you.â
He looks you in the eye, face serious. âYou promise me it doesnât hurt?â
âI promise,â you nod, brushing your fingers against his palm.

âDick!â
The angry voice bellows through the tall halls of the manor, heavy footsteps thudding.
He stomps into the living room, Tim, Cass, and Stephanie watching the entryway with wide eyes.Â
âWhere is he?â
Unwitting shoulders shrug and heads shake. Truthfully, at that. Dick, smartly, did not tell anyone where he was hiding.Â
Jason scans the trios faces, looking for any sign of apprehension.
He clocks the grin shamelessly plastered across his sister's face quickly. âStephanie?â
âI donât know,â she says honestly. âBut let me know when you find him, I wanna seeââ
But Jasonâs moving onto the next room before she can get the last words out.
He enters the dining room, looking right to left before finding his target, halfway to stuffing himself behind the fine china cabinet in the corner.
Thereâs a brief, tense moment in between where the pair realize what theyâre seeing and when Dick sets off in a sprint towards the kitchen, Jason quick on his tail.Â
âReally? Really?â Jason shouts.Â
âIt was an accident! It was a fuckingââÂ
He narrowly dodges a swipe from Jason, then ducking before a ladle could make contact with his head.
âAre you stupid? Are you the dumbest motherfââ
Dick rounds the kitchen island as fast as possible, Jason testing him on the other side.
Dick takes a breath, âDude, itâs fine now, itâs not that big of aââ
Jason recoils, ââItâs not a big dealâ? Come here. Let me sprain your wrist, asshole!â
He circles the counter quicker than the elder boy can think to move away and lunges at him.Â
Dick throws his hands up in front of him, âWait, wait, wait! Truce! Truce! Truce?â
Jason drops his shoulders, leveling his older brother with a look. âYou canât call a truce if youâre the only one who did anything wrong.â
âIâŠâ It doesnât take him long to piece together that his defense makes no sense, so he resorts to his last option.Â
âPlease?â Dick asks, nothing short of imploring.Â
Jason relentsâslightlyâupon hearing his brother's tone, but still finds it in him to shove him, though not nearly as hard as heâd been planning to.Â
âI told you a hundred fucking times not to grab her so hardââÂ
Dick nods heavily, waving a hand. âI know, I knowââ
âClearly you fucking donât!â Jason shouts. He huffs, running a hand over his face. âYou sprained her wrist. Youâve been doing this vigilante shit for fifteen years, how do you still not fucking know how to control your own strength?â
Dick grimaces, âI do! I do, I just screwed up, Iâm sorry!â
âDonâtââ Jason narrowly holds back a scowl, âDid you apologize to her?â
 âYeah, of course I did!â
For a split second, Jason looks ready to keep arguing before purposefully dropping the anger from his body.Â
The resulting relief almost drowns Dick.
It only lasts a moment though, before Jason looks at him again, sneering, âIdiot,â before pushing him once more.Â
âJason.â
Your voice has Jason dropping all turbulence in an instant. He and Dick both whip their heads towards the door, equally unexpecting of the interruption.Â
You tilt your head at your boyfriend with a knowing but disappointed stare.
He looks back at you like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, lips parted.
âI didnât hit him.â

âïž your options are: (1) reblog fics or (2) be a little bitch âïž
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
La Vie en Rose
jason todd x fem!reader
aka jason wildly preferring you over everyone else
4 in 1 blurbs
warnings: standard batfam arguing etc.



You sit curled up embarrassingly close to Jason on the couch, head on his shoulder. The team is still in their gear as they filter into the living room, masks and helmets discarded in scattered locations between here and the cave. The mission had been fairly simple and with all of them together it only took a couple hours to finish up.
As you waited, Alfred had kept your mind busy in the kitchen while he taught you how he makes his famous ice cream from scratch.
The clamor of the heroic partyâs return had made itself known sooner than later, and you think your face must have displayed your emotions nicely because Alfred nodded you away with a small smile and no second thought.
Youâd walked into the living room, weaving through the mess of siblings until a hand snuck out on your left and grabbed your wrist. You barely had time to look at him before Jason pulled you down to sit next him on the sofa. He wrapped an arm over your shoulder, pulling you in and leaving virtually no space between you. His armor sits heavy against you, but a welcome weight on your shoulders.
Tim plops down on the couch across from you and you can just make out a bit of blood on the side of his head, aptly accompanied by an irritated look sprawled across his face. Itâs not enough blood to be concerned aboutânot for themâbut you can venture a guess that whatever they were up to shouldnât have called for any injuries and his pique is likely directly related to that.
Though Dickâs goading aura might have something to do with it too, as he comes crashing down next to him a second later, partially sitting on Timâs cape and pulling him into an awkward angle.Â
Nightwing doesnât seem too perturbed by the younger vigilanteâs agitation and curt manner of pushing him off.
The others are too caught up in chatter to pay much attention to you, and you can be certain thatâs why Jason takes that moment to press a kiss to the side of your head. He lets his lips linger there for just a second as you lean into him.
Alfredâs own entrance is the only thing able to subside the flurry of conversations skirting around the room.
âA job well done,â he commends with a nod. âA selection of ice creams awaits you in the kitchen.â
He gives you a sly wink before retreating back through the swinging door, leaving Stephanie and Cass to practically trip over themselves trying to beat each other to the kitchen. Robin follows after unhurried, mask still on, with his hands behind his back.
Jason kneads your thigh before pushing himself up to stand. He turns back, looking down to you. âWhat do you want?â he asks softly.
You hum, "Just strawberry's good."
Tim sits up, "Can Iââ
"No, you've got legs,â Jason grumbles, stalking off to the kitchen.
Dick barks out a laugh and you bite back a smile.
Tim looks absolutely aghast.Â
âThatâs such bullshit. You know, he used to be nice.â
âNo he didnât,â Dick laughs, shaking his head. âNot since youâve known him.â
Stephanie stumbles out of the kitchen then, the door hitting her back on the way, as she mutters a curse behind her. You can vaguely makeout Jason grunting something back before she rolls her eyes.
Steph looks at you, shaking her head as she returns to her seat, âYou live like this?â
You shrug, âHeâs nice to me.â
âYeah, I bet,â Tim grumbles.
Jason returns after Cass a minute later with a bowl of strawberry ice cream and two spoons. He expertly ignores Timâs unwavering glare as he resituates himself beside you.
He scoops your legs up over his lap and positions the bowl in between you, wrapping the sleeve of his jacket around it so that the cold porcelain doesnât make contact with your skin.
The others have set themselves up so that the four of them are stuffed up against each other on the sofa adjacent to you, very obviously examining you both.Â
And while youâre willing to acknowledge the amused stares and singular glare, Jason only sighs heavily, rolling his eyes as he glares at the coffee table.
Only a few seconds of this are allowed to go by before he pulls over a throw pillow and sets it over your knees, so that it rests atop your heads like a mini-fort, successfully blocking out his siblings' view of the two of you.
You smile and press a light kiss to his shoulder as he simmers.
Regrettably, you miss the way Damian side-eyes the pillow above you as he re-enters the room, perching himself atop the back of the couch behind the others.
âThis is so nice,â Dick preens. âHe used to just leave the room when too many of us gathered in one place. Now he has to stay.â
Stephanie watches the makeshift fort with wary eyes, scooping ice cream into her mouth. âYeahâŠI donât wanna freak you guys out but, uhâŠâ
Itâs quiet for a moment and you guess Cass is speaking.Â
Youâre proven right when Stephanie starts up again, âMy thoughts exactly.â Her voice drops into a raspy whisper that isnât really meant to go unheard, âI donât know who the hell that is, but it is not Jason.âÂ
âThis is unprecedented,â Damian mumbles, dipping into his own chocolate cup.
âDo they always talk about you like youâre not here?â you ask Jason quietly.Â
âYes,â he grumbles with a scornful look directed at the bowl.
A low hiss can be heard immediately after, âIâve never heard him whisper before, what the fuck?â
You canât hide your laugh as well as you mean to, but you know Jasonâs light swat to your thigh is nothing more than a rib.
Mumbles continue along the other couch, mostly going unacknowledged, until Tim busts out, âHe doesnât even like strawberry!â
Jason snaps the pillow out of the way, âThe fuck do you know about what I like?â
Tim resets his posture with one hell of an attitude, snarking, âWell I can name one thing you really seem to fuckingââ
Jason grabs the pillow harshly and chucks it at Tims head which connects with a loud thwack.
Damian swats it away before it can knock him off balance, though his scowl is only half worth what Timâs is.Â
âYouâre unbelievable,â he says with a sneer. âThis is why you donât get invited to movie night anymore.â
Jason doubles back at him, âSorry, is this not your own fucking house?â
Tim huffs, âYes, which iââ
âThen get your own goddamn ice cream!â
Tim huffs as he stands, sending Jason a pointed look. âIâm going because I want to.â
Jason barely gives him a sardonic nod as he stomps off.
âGet me some too!â Dick calls back, only for the back of his head to be met with a sideways grimace from Tim.
As he leaves, the focus of the room seems to shift towards Damian dripping chocolate onto his cape and it fades away from there.
You turn to Jason, lowering your voice to just below a whisper, âIf you donât like strawberryââ
âI like it,â he tells you, leaving no room to argue as he takes a bite.

Voicemail.Â
Voicemail.
Voicemail.Â
Voicemail.
Declined.
Voicemail.
Declined.
Declined.Â
âI swear to God, he better be dead,â Stephanie mutters to herself.
She shuts her phone off and tosses it into the passenger seat with a huff. Her fingers drum against the steering wheel as she scans the sidewalk across from her car.
The night before the majority of the team had been involved in a less-than-successful plan, which some have called âa display of complete idiocy and inability to circumspect.â
Then Tim had to go and make a joke about that word choice in what was apparently a bad moment. This gave way to a harsher punishment of the team being forced to clean the batcave foot by square footânotably, an impossible task.
So naturally, they had to retaliate.
The plan was to dismantle the batmobile piece by piece and leave it a collection of parts for Bruce to find. Problem being, the group as it stood didnât possess the capability to do so without doing a great deal of damage to the parts. Damage, that the family was not willing to face extra retribution for.
Fortunately, they knew just the man for the job.Â
Unfortunately, said man has devoted his life to ignoring their messages, favoring to live peacefully and distantly from them. And because that peace and distance does come with an add-on of borderline complete secrecy from his family, no one had any idea where to look for him.
So, Stephanie decided to do the next most rational thing and track down your location. Sheâd hoped he would be with you like he always is, but for seemingly the first time in the last yearâheâs nowhere to be found.
Now, was revenge for a minor-slight by Bruce so important that it required Stephanie to take all of these steps to get a hold of Jason? No, absolutely not. Sheâs pretty sure that the others have already given up on it by now and started cleaning. But itâs about the principal. And also, she does not want to clean the floors of a cave.
She jumps up in her seat when she spots you exiting a store, scurrying to unbuckle and pry the car door open.
Sheâs across the street in half a second, running directly into your line of sight. It actually wouldâve been very difficult for her to miss your line of sight, considering sheâd landed only a good six inches in front of your face. âHey!â  Â
âOh, fuckââ you jump, grabbing your chest. You take a breath when you realize who it is, less surprised now by the theatrics of the introduction. âHey Steph.â
âHey,â she smiles casually, like she didnât do what she just did. âSo Jasonâs been ignoring us and I need to get a hold of him,â she tells you.
You nod, still collecting yourself. âOh. I donât know where he isââ
She shakes her head, âThatâs fine. Can I use your phone to call him?â
You frown, âIs something wrong?â
âWith him, yeah,â she snarks. âI called him, Tim called him, Dick called him, Cass called him, Damian called him, we used Bruceâs phone to call himâthat was a bit of a long shot, but still. This is our last option. Well, not our last option, if this doesnât work I could get really invasive, butââ She shakes the thought from her head, âNevermind.â
You nod blankly, taking in the mountain of information sheâd just handed you. âHowâd you know I was here?â
She scans your eyes back and forth for a second before her own widen in realization and sheâs shaking her head. âNo, no, donât worry weâre not tracking you! I just hacked into the traffic cameras to find you.â
âOh!â you exclaim, nodding some more. âOkay.â
You hand her your phone without any further questionsâfor your own sakeâand she happily accepts.Â
âYou know I texted him 115 times?â she tells you as she scrolls through your contacts.
You furrow your eyebrows, watching her click his name and press the phone to her ear. âDid you count?â
âWell, I had the time, diâyou son of a bitch! One ring?â Stephanie scorns into the phone.
You can hear Jason groan on the other end of the line.Â
He says something to Stephanie that she follows up with a firm shake of her head.
âNo,â she says defiantly. âShe let me use it.â
Stephanie rolls her eyes, not pleased with his response. âWhat if it was an emergency?â
She listens for a second, skeptical look on her face.
She gasps suddenly, âI am not overstepping, we thought you were dead!â
Over the course of about ten seconds the shock on her face drops into just-been-caught guilt. âWell, I mean we considered it.â
You imagine Jasonâs telling her to give you your phone back as she stands her ground, pushing, âIf you promise to text me back.â
A short response on his end.
âPromise to text me back!â
Thereâs a brief lull before sheâs giving a self-satisfied nod and jostling your phone back into your hands. âHere ya go. Thanks, babe!â She smiles wide at you before jogging back across the street, not waiting for the cars.
You smile as you watch her go, putting the phone up to your ear, âHey Jay.â
You can hear the relief on the other end of the line. âHey sweetheart. You know if you see Steph in public, you can just walk away?â
âIâm not going to walk away from your family.â You look again across the street, âAlso I donât think that was an option for me this time.â

âThat thing is fucking scary.â
Cass smiles fondly, signing, âI think heâs cute.â
Tim eyes the way Salem traipses around his feet, yellow eyes staring up at him. âWhyâs it even here?â
Jason rolls his eyes, continuing to scroll on his phone. âHeâs hers. Deal with it.â
Tim scrunches up his mouth. âShe knows I hate it. And she, unlike you, wouldnât subject me to this just for the hell of it. So again I ask: why is it here?â
Jason huffs, looking up from his phone. âWhat do you want me to say? He wants to be.â
Tim scoffs at that, ââIt wants to beâ? Youâre the one who put it in the car.â
âNo, I didnât,â Jason says factually.
Tim looks at him sideways as Salem leaps onto Jasonâs lap and nudges his hand up. Jason follows along as requested, petting the top of Salemâs head with an open palm.Â
Tim squirms to the other side of the couch with a look of disgust on his face. Salem watches him the whole time. Â
A smile adorns Cassâ face as she signs, âShe says he can read peopleâs energy.â
Tim huffs, resting his head against his fist. âWhat does that even mean?â
The conversation is cut off by the clatter of you and Dick stumbling into the room, carrying a freshly painted headboard. Blue paint coats both of your hands and has no doubt stained your clothes.
Youâre clearly struggling a bit to keep your grip on your end, the weight of the wooden frame dragging your arms down.
Jason stands and Salem flows along with his movements easily, leaping down onto the hardwood. He comes over and helps you lift your end of the frame with a stupid amount of ease, to the point that youâre not even holding any of the weight up anymore. The three of youâless so youâmove the headboard and lean it up against the wall. After it's set down Jason steps back and looks over it gingerly.
âIt looks good,â he murmurs to you, quiet enough to not give his brother the satisfaction of his approval.
Dick had asked you over to help him paint Damianâs bed frame as a surprise for him for not getting in any âaltercationsâ at school this semester. Youâd decided on coating it with his favorite color first and then fill it in with a collection of what Dick has âon good authorityâ are his favorite animals. Itâs a fairly random assortment that youâre not sure adds to or disproves Dickâs credibility. Youâd spent the better half of the afternoon googling animals youâd never heard of just to make sure you projected their likenesses accurately. Dick had been very clear that you had to be precise on the details because Damian would know if he was really looking at a komodo dragon painting or if it was âsome common lizard.â
You sigh, âI hope he likes it. Iâm worried we did it too childish for him.â
âHe is a child,â Jason says plainly.
âBut he is not childish,â you counter. And he sure isnât. Youâd had a hard enough time convincing Damian to watch cartoons, adding a colorful animal mural to his bedroom might be one step too far. Youâre still trying to figure him out.
âHeâll like it,â he says firmly.
You smile, slipping around under his arm and tucking yourself into his side.
Not a moment later, Dick slings an arm around Jason's shoulder, grinning as he pulls his brother in close.
Jasonâs immediately louring. "No, get away from me."
Dick, unfazed and still smiling, removes his arm and takes a big step to the right. You do the same, figuring he needs his space, but you get caught by the wrist before you can do more than sway to the side.Â
âNot you.âÂ
He pulls you back under his arm, wrapping it around the front of your shoulders. You hook your fingers around his forearm, letting your hand hang.
You hear a double-clap from the other side of the room that has you both turning around to face Cass.Â
She signs something to Jason with a fond smile on her face.Â
You look back and forth between them as Jason waves her off. âWhat?â
He shakes his head, âItâs nothing. She saidâshe said weâre cute.â
You smile up at him and he deflectsânot so subtlyâand starts nudging you back towards where the group is gathered, now all standing.Â
Dickâs quick to start bragging off to the room about how great of a job the two of you did and how really complex and daunting it actually is painting animals for a child.
As he talks, your eyes find Jason, whoâs definitely about to roll his eyes any second now. A bit subconsciously, your hand comes up to brush Jasonâs white streak of hair back, away from tickling his forehead.Â
On the other side of Jason, Tim does the same, sweeping Jasonâs hair back in a much more mocking manner.Â
This gives way to Jason smacking his hand away, harder than he needed to.
"WhaâYou let her do it!" Tim protests, overplaying how much the slap hurt.
Jason scowls, "She can do whatever she wants."
Tim drops his shoulders, looking at Jason as if heâd been scandalized. âOh but I canât?â
âNot if it involves touching me,â Jason grumbles.
Tim steps closer, putting a finger to Jasonâs chest. âYouâre such aââ
From the floor, Salem hisses up at Tim, successfully startling the teenager. âAuahhââ
He stumbles backwards, grimacing at the cat.Â
âFucking demon,â he hisses, walking away.
When Timâs far enough away and Salemâs seemingly satisfied, he brushes up against your leg, purring.Â
You peer down at him with a furrowed brow.Â
âWhatâs Salem doing here?â

âIâm not doing this shit with you.â
âNo, come on, 9 out of 10 times is what you said. How âbout just once? Beat me one time at anything, Jaybird.â
âAnything?â Jason asks like he knows damn well Dick canât swear on that word.
Rightly so, Dick backtracks. âSomething agreed upon.â
Jason throws his hands up, partially in exasperation, partially relenting.
Dick smoothly turns his back to him, announcing, âOpening up the room for ideas.â
Damianâs eye roll is almost audible from the corner armchair, where his attention is unmoved from intently sharpening a blade heâd recently come into possession of.
Bruce similarly remains unbothered in his seat, trying to read despite the distractions.Â
âOoh, okay. Okay.â Stephanie wiggles up a little on the couch. âYou could race!â
Dick shakes his head negatively, âI literally just busted my knee up two days ago, Steph.â
âConvenient,â Jason mumbles.
âYou were there!â Dick exclaims with an open mouth.
Steph continues, âUmâŠâ
Cass waves to the room from her position upside down on the couch, head hanging down next to Stephanieâs legs. Attention successfully acquired, she signs, âStaring contest.â
Jason grimaces, âThat sounds like a nightmare.â
Dick gives him a faux-smile.
âYou should play chicken,â Damian chimes in, holding up his knife.
âNo,â Bruce drones monotonously as he flips a page.Â
âTic tac toe?â Steph suggests.
Cass is already shaking her head as she scrunches up her mouth in thought. Â
Jason rolls his eyes, âWhat are we, five?â
Dick nods, cracking his knuckles as he thinks. âNo, we need something that really proves our worth.â
Bruce looks up from his book, staring numbly through his brow, but remains silent.
âYou could arm wrestle,â Steph suggests.
The elder brother twitches at that, âUh, no.â
Cass moves past that before a joke has the chance to be made. âHandstand contest?â she suggests.
Jason shrugs, âYeah, sure.â
The elder brother looks at him incredulously. âYouâll do a handstand contest with me?â
âThatâs what I just said.â
Dick scoffs, âJaybird, Iâm an acrobat, youâre just some guy.â
Jason, not giving him the courtesy of eye contact, pulls his sweatshirt off from his back. âWell, youâre a lot of things, arenât you?â
Dick throws his head back with a squint.
Jason fishes his phone out of his pocket and Dick follows suit, offended stare maintaining all the while.Â
No exchange is required as they both toss their phones across the room, landing together with a rough clatter on Damianâs lap. Damianâs resulting glare is borderline disgusted.
Dick starts them off, âAlright, go. OneâŠtwoâŠâ
Both men push up onto their hands, muscles flexing as they find their balance. Dickâs form is better, of course, but Jason looks to have a stronger foundation.  Â
They both hold strong as several minutes go by with the brothers only maintaining the attention of some of the room, and the interest of none of it.
Stephanie huffs and tilts her head, thoroughly unentertained with the consistency theyâre both managing.Â
âStarting to wish theyâd picked something that moved along a little faster,â she murmurs to Cass.
Dick glances over at the younger brother, clearly displeased with his lack of trouble keeping up with him. He shuffles closer one hand at a time, using the decreased distance to poke at Jason with his foot, trying to knock him over.
Jason kicks him back harder, âHey! Donât be a dickââ
âVery funny,â Dick leers.
They both end up finding a struggle to keep balance and are forced to mind their own. Â
A chime rings out from the corner that has heads turning briefly in his direction before coming back to the competition.Â
âWhose was that?â Dick calls out.
Damian leans over and inspects the screens with disinterest. âToddâs.â
Jason adjusts his position, âWho is it?â
Damian responds with your name.Â
âAnd?â
He picks up the phone shrugging like he couldnât care less, âShe wants to know if you want to go see some movie.â
Thereâs a brief silence before Jason drops out of the handstand, standing up.Â
Dickâs blood-flushed face peers up at him, bewildered. âWait, what?â
The family watches with wide eyes as Jason picks his sweatshirt up off the floor and tugs it back on.
Stephanie gawks, bordering on laughing. âAre you serious?â
âYeah,â he says simply.
Dick lets himself fall into a kneeling position with a huff, âYou would rather go to some movie you donât even know the name of than win a bet?â
Jason moues at him, âUh, yeah.â
He tosses a twenty at Dick, and plucks his phone from Damianâs hand as he strolls past him, typing out a reply.
Cass sits up a bit and signs up to Stephanie, âDoes he even like movies?âÂ
Bruce, now attention now fully removed from his book, watches Jason exit with the slightest hint of a smile. Dick sits dumbly on the floor, staring after him with an open-mouth.Â
Damian twists the knife in his hands around contemplatively before rising to stand.Â
âI will go,â he announces, dropping his blade onto the seat of the chair. Jason grumbles a no but Damian follows after him just the same.

you know what happened to the last guy that didnât reblog? ⊠đȘđ§šđ„đ”â°ïžđȘŠ
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
At Least Iâm Not Alone at the Wake
jason todd x fem!reader
aka how jason feels safe even when he feels like heâs dying
HEY today weâre going to play a game where we practice reblogging fics: if you read this and like itâreblog!! ie, if you like and dont reblog i might block bc im getting sick of the lack of decorum
warnings: angst w comfort throughout



It took less than thirty seconds for the silence of the night to drift into sounds of shrieks echoing off the buildings along the street. The sharp contrast had you and Jason bolting upright on the couch, ears on alert. It only took a few seconds more of listening for you to realize youâre not hearing shoutingâitâs laughter. Maniacal, uncontrolled laughter.Â
Thereâs a beat as you both freeze upon the implication, the unsettling realization dropping in on you. You barely have a moment to process it before Jasonâs pushing up from the couch and heading towards the bathroom.
âClose the window,â he grumbles.
You blink as you register his words before jumping up to do as told, quickly sliding the frame shut and locking it. He returns soon with an armful of towels in hand, and you stand back as he stuffs a couple along the window sill with rough movements. He goes throughout the apartment, doing the same to the other windows. He rounds back to the living room window, looking down at the street with a heavy look on his face.Â
You trust that the towels will do their job in preventing the laughing gas from getting in the apartment, but theyâre unable to block out the bellows of hysteria.
He backs away from the window, letting the living room wall hold his weight. You both listen to the harrowing echoes with still bodies.Â
You watch him, waiting for a reaction. You donât mean to, but you know youâre looking at him like heâs a loaded spring. You try not to, you know how much he hates how his family does that to him, but fuck, itâs hard not to worry about him.
When Joker incidents have come up, theyâve usually been something youâre able to ignore or even get ahead of and drive out of the city. But this is raucous and chaotic, clearly enough to shut down the city from the inside. Besides, Jason would be booking it out of here if he thought there was any chance of a clean getaway in this.
But you know heâs got no interest in inserting himself in anything Joker related, especially something so destabilizing.
While you know Jasonâs family cares about him, of course they do, but youâve noticed they sometimes put Gothamâs needs first and his second. So the severity of this attack is concerning for you for two reasons.
âWill theyâŠâ you shuffle, âWill they need you?â
Heâs quick to answer, voice firm. âNo.â A long moment passes before he adds on, quieter, âThey wonât want me out there.â
You nod to yourself, trying to relax your body. You being on edge isnât going to help him.
You watch as his head thumps against the wall, eyes squeezed shut. Heâs toughâyou know heâs tough. He can withstand a hell of a lot more than youâll probably ever even know. But even for Gotham, this is a lot. And even for someone who hasnât been through what Jason has, the ringing repetitions of laughter are maddening. You wonder if this is what the Joker hears in his head. You wonder if this is what Jason heard.
The intensity of the laughing increases, more people likely becoming exposed to the gas. You think you can hear it in one of your neighborâs apartments too.
He thumps his head against the drywall again, hands clenching at his sides. It takes one more forceful thud for you to move over to him, cradling your hand to the side of his head, holding him still. He lets you, though he still doesnât open his eyes.
âJay,â you say softly, stroking his hair. âLetâs take a shower, yeah?â Normally youâd try for a bath to calm him instead but you hope the waterfall from the shower might be enough to drown out the noise.
He takes a second to respond, letting your hand bear the weight of his head. âYeah.â
His voice is splintered though, and his shoulders droop as he stands up fully. He waits to move until you start to lead him, flinching at every spike of laughter. You reach back and take his hand, giving it two squeezes. He squeezes your hand back but doesnât loosen his grip.
As you enter the bathroom he wastes no time getting straight to the shower nozzle and turning it on. You press the door shut behind you, sealing out a decent portion of the chaos. You decide against turning the overhead light on, opting instead to let the small pink-shaded lamp provide a warm glow that you can easily maneuver throughout the shadows in. You figure he needs a more tranquil atmosphere than the harsh white light the bathroom ceiling can provide.
You turn to him in time to catch him pulling his shirt up harshly, movements jerked and impatient.
You place a gentle hand on his forearm, âHey.â
He pauses his actions, eyes on the floor.
You donât say anything else, but he understands your objection regardless. You remove your touch and he peels his shirt off slower, kinder to himself.Â
You wait to make sure he continues this method with the rest of his clothes before you start to remove yours.
The downpour of water on the tiles does itâs intended job in creating your own little sanctum away from the noise. You climb into the shower after him, standing in the stray mist sprays that made their way past him. The bits of water that do manage their way to you are hotânot scalding, but hot enough that you know his chest is going to start getting numb very soon standing in front of the stream like this.Â
You trace lines over the muscles of his back, outlining them and every little indent of a scar. When you run out of canvas on his back you move onto his arms, right then left.
Itâs not until you trace down his wrist that you realize his head is angled down. You donât need to be standing in front of him to know that his focus is zeroed in on his scar and youâre not sure how long it's been that way. Too long, in any case.
âJay,â you say so softly that the water nearly drowns you out. âWill you look at me, please?â
He does turn to you, slowly, but he doesnât look up.
You hold his face in your hands, nudging him to look up at you. He looks tired, drained.Â
You know he has to hear that laughter in a different way than you do. Itâs uncomfortable and frightening for you, but for him, itâs layers upon layers of the sound he heard while he was being beaten to death. And even beyond that horrible trauma, the reminder of it brings forth every memory of what happened afterwards, not to mention the heavy baggage you know he feels over being here at all. And you can see it all mulling behind his eyes.
âYou know I love you,â you tell him with sincerity. His gaze stays heavy and you can tell itâs a struggle for him to hold the eye contact.
You lean up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, catching his bottom lip slightly. Your next kiss meets his lips fully. You have to push up on your toes a little bit but he does the work of meeting you halfway. Itâs a slow, intimate exchange, as fluid and serene as breathing.
âI love all of you,â you murmur against his lips. You let your hands fall to his chest, resting as gently as they can over his pecs. âEverything about you.â
You kiss the top of his Y scar, trailing down soft pecks to where it forks off. You feel his shoulders sag a bit, tension forcing its way out of him. You lean down to continue your kisses down the vertical line marking his abdomen, your hands lightly following in your wake.
He says your name painfully, like heâs begging you to stop. Youâll give him partial reprieve, taking his hands in yours and kissing his scarred knuckles. Itâs his instinct to push affection away, you know that, but you also know that he needs it. Thatâs why he doesnât stop you nowâhe knows he needs itâitâs just a lot for him all at once, emotionally. Which is why he gives no warning before he picks you up by your thighs and pulls you close.Â
Heâs got you a full head higher than him and he uses the difference to hide his face in your neck. Sometimes he feels like thatâs the only place he can go. He maneuvers you around so your back is pressed up against the wall as you hold each other tight.
You stay in there like that until the water runs cold, and then some. You have to nudge him a bit into setting you back down then, but he does, letting you collect and wrap the both of you in towels. The second the water turns off you can hear the cackling through the walls.Â
As you return to the bedroom, he only bothers to pull on a pair of boxers before collapsing his weight onto the mattress. The lack of layers wonât help him any, but you know why he did it.
He canât always look after himself the way he shouldâhe disregards his own needs and has trouble even thinking of what could help him. Youâve developed a mind for it thoughâfor himâand you know that being exposed and vulnerable like this isnât going to help him calm down. He prefers being covered up when heâs stressed, it gives him more security, you think.
You open up the dresser and dig through for his most comfortable hoodie and sweatpants. He takes them from you, but he looks remiss at the thought of exerting anymore energy right now, so you help him tug on the clothes, successfully blocking out the now icy air from the AC.Â
Once heâs fully clothed he pulls you forward to sit on his lap. You stumble a bit on the way but he compensates by holding you very tight, not giving your body any option to fall. His grip on you tells you that heâs not concerned with you getting dressed too, which youâre perfectly willing to oblige.
You have to force him to let you break away a little bit so you can reach over to the nightstand and grab your phone and earbuds.
âMovie or music?â
He doesnât say anything, only nods his head once at the end of your sentence. You take that to mean music and open up your playlist on your phone, handing him the headphones.
Thereâs a harsh spike in the hysterics outside, mixed with what sounds like screams, and it has Jason flinching hard. You think you can see tears welled in his eyes as he fumbles to get the headphones in his ears. He takes the phone from you and picks the first song he sees and turns the volume up, up, up.
You shift yourself around so that youâre laying back against the pillows, giving him room to lay down over your legs, wrapping his arms around your waist with a firm grip. You pull the hood up over his head, but keep your hands woven underneath, threading through his hair.Â
His cheek mushes against your bare stomach, and with the way heâs laying, youâre sure the earbuds are digging uncomfortably into his ear. He makes no effort to move in any case. You can hear the song playing word for word, and while the noise exposure concerns you, if there was ever a time to let it go, it would be now.
Youâre both wrapped up nicely in the blankets and you can only see the tip of his nose and a few strands of ivory hair strewn past his forehead. Despite all the snug layers, he shakes a bit under your touch.
He falls asleep before the problem outside gets wrapped up, and you turn down the music. Not all the way, just enough that he can rest in peace.Â
After a while the giggles die down and aside from a few first responder sirens, things get quiet again. About twenty minutes later, Nightwing ducks in through your window and scares the hell out of you. The interaction does not, however, wake Jason up, which is how you know tonight took a very heavy toll on him.
Even though the lights arenât on in your bedroom you slide down from the pillows a bit more and let the blanket and Jason drown your chest out from visibility.
Nightwing gives you a silent, if not awkward, wave and scans over Jason. Even in the dark can see the worry in his eyes. He looks back up at you and throws up a questioning thumbs up with a tilt of his head.
You nod and he nods back slowly as he takes one more look at his brother before hopping out the window.
You peer down at Jason and brush his curls back gently. His hold on you tightens just a bit as he turns in his sleep.

reblog or get out seriously
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
My no-good masochist of a husband
A man comes for Cecelia.
We donât hear from her for months.
(The root of my surprise, of course, does not stem from the fact of someone taking Cecelia, dear no, that would be impossible considering her habit of making enemies quite eagerly, no, it stems from the sheer notion of no one taking such logical action sooner.)
Months after her disappearance we are generously graced with a letter, which accounts for all that transpired from the night of her departure to her current state of being.
Hello, Father, Mother and, unfortunately, Sister. (I feel the love)
I have been well. Though I cannot feasibly know how you have fared, I have been told that you have been given the best comforts of the world, as consolation for the Bastardâs kidnapping. He wishes that with this, all his heinous transgressions are to be forgiven while also arrogantly hoping of you allowing him to ask for my hand in marriage. Rest assured, with your forced approval or without it, I shall reject all advances he shall endeavor to make. I am a woman of virtue, and he is a most despicable man.
I am certain that you are most bewildered, for The Bastard that had so heartlessly taken me away, now most ardently imagines myself the bearer of his children. My charming wit has turned against me â is all I am to yet disclose.
You shall remember when he first appeared before your eyes, that he claimed to have known me, giving me the lovely name âwitchâ, and dearly dreamt of me paying âfor my sinsâ. He had decided to rudely skip my long line of adversaries, who had been patiently waiting for their right to torment me, to, instead, complete his own selfish desire. I find that this further lowered him in my eyes, as one has to be a barbarian to not conform to basic social etiquette.
After he crudely took me, he locked me in a carriage with the worst possible person â himself.
I assume, that, at this point, you are rather intrigued as to how I have made such a powerful enemy and it absolutely pains me to leave your curiosity unsatisfied, for, I shamefully confess, I have no recollection of crossing paths with the rotten Bastard. When I informed him of this, language abandoned him; thankfully, so much so, that uttering a word proved difficult for him and I was left with the much preferred company of silence.
With our arrival at his estate I had come to a beautiful conclusion.
Father, Mother, and, yes, even you Sister, I have made an enemy of an important figure, a Duke.
Sincerely, I have hit the jackpot.
From that moment on my plans came alive. It was all very simple. I shall annoy The Bastard Duke into insanity and claim all of his possessions, with a contract to seal the deal. However, as I have stated above, all went awry.
At first, everything was sailing smoothly. His thoughts of me were anything but pleasant, and never was it more apparent when he attempted, vigorously, to set me ablaze with his gaze. Around that time I found a friend in his younger brother, Julius â a sharp-minded intelligent, whose sole purpose for breathing was to drag his brother down to the pits of hell. We may as well have been soulmates.
I enlisted his help in the torture of his brother, and Juliusâs exuberance seemed greater than my own. We switched the milk with oil, the sweet sugar with bitter powder; the whitest of shirts became as dark as coal; and the Bastard's perfectly-maintained dignity plummeted in front of a lively audience when soiled with chocolate cake (which was done by yours truly).
But through these trials I had discovered a horrifying fact: the Duke was a masochist.
My constant irking has caused an undesired effect â The Bastard, after every humiliation, demanded more and more.
I have met my match. I admit defeat. This is a foe I cannot conquer. I cannot beat into submission. Â All is futile. In the face of his, and it murders my soul to say, love, - Â I am at a loss.
The Bastard is intent on driving me to the brink of insanity.
Now I have a not-quite sane Bastard Duke hanging onto my every word, as though Christ compelled it. (When he asked me to make a request of him I replied with âAll of your earthly possessions, Bastard.âHe did the unthinkable â he smiled, and stated in a grand voice all of his would be mine in the event of our marriage. Our. Marriage.
I am definitely leaning towards purifying his corpse when he meets his demise. But I keep having the horrible thought that he might as well rise from the grave just to put a ring on my finger.)
That is all. Please do enjoy those luxuries, for they came at a horrible cost.
Everyday, I suffer greatly.
Sincerely yours,
The future duchess through shady means,
Cecelia Harrow (I hope this surname shall remain for a long time).
#husband#creepy#suffering#obssesive#love#maybe#i am not quite sure#masochist#run away#manhwa like#funny#joke#strong#female lead#annoyed#fancy#story#novel#realistic#not really#jokes
0 notes
Text
Sometimes I forget that Iâm alive.
Sometimes I forget that Iâm alive.
I do not wish to remember.
For If I knew I still breathed air,
I wouldnât see September.
1 note
·
View note
Text
âI am drowning in your loveâ
âI feel, as though I am drowning in your love. And you let me. Because you want me to suffocate. You want me to choke, so that I cannot breathe. So that I cannot refuse. You fear rejection. But most of all you fear mine.â
0 notes
Text
When your Dad is your arch-nemesis
D: Iâll kill you if itâs the last thing Iâll do.
F: Ha! You can try!
*Intense battle*
During the battle the villainâs mask gets torn off. The hero is stunned.
D: Dad?!
F: DAD?!?!?!
D: Youâre my arch-nemesis?!
F: Iâm sorry, who are you?
DAUGHTER takes mask off.
FATHER sudden intake of breath, on full lungs: DAUGHTER?!!?!?
D: So this is the âworkâ you were doing when you said you wouldnât be able to buy me chocolate, huh?! Liar!
F: Now, dear. I was busy terrorising innocent civillians.
D: Donât give me that crap. I know for a fact that you robbed a few banks last week! You couldâve bought some chocolate while running away from police!
F: I couldnât. You were attacking me from all sides!
D: Donât be a baby! I threw you into a candy shop! You could have, at the very least, stolen some candies!
F: I was feeling like a decent human being!
D: Youâre a criminal. You donât even know what decency is! See, this is why mom left you!
F: Donât bring your mother into this!
D: Oh, really? Â Try me!
DAUGHTER gone with a whosh and then appears with MOM
MOM looks around, then sees FATHER, her eyes narrow.
M: You. *with venom*
FATHER pales.
F: Hello, dear.
M: I will kill you.
FATHER whimpers.
M: You. You made our baby girl run around fixing your messes? Do you want to die?
F: Now, darling, I told our daughter that playing hero wonât suit her! *quickly, panicked*
D: Hey! Â You said I could be whatever I wanted to be!
F: Because I thought you would become a villain!
MOM cracks knuckles and tilts her head. FATHER takes a step back in fear.
M: ...Are you blaming our baby for all the shit youâve caused?
FATHER look as if death came to greet him early.
F: Not at all, my beautiful, amazing wife! Itâs all my fault! I take full responsobility!
FATHER loudly states, looks on the verge of combusting.
D whispers: Loser.
M: Ex-wife. *with killing intent*
F: Ex-wife. *energetically nods his head*
M: So this is where you were, doing âsome important stuff ,my loveâ. *dangerously quiet*
MOM says quietly, filling the air with ice.
DAUGHTER, eating popcorn: OH! Youâre in deep shit!
FATHERâs skin prickles.
M: You.
F: Me! *readlily agrees*
FATHER nodded with vigor.
M: I was watching my love-triangle show. And you.
MOM pointed a finger at him.
FATHER was as pale as snowman.
M:You cut off elecricity. For the whole city. I missed the confession scene. I missed the confession scene.
MOM pulls out a remote control.
M: You are dead meat. Iâll cook you for dinner.
That seemed possible. FATHER looked dead. No berating necessary.
Policemen in the distance.
P1:âŠ.Is that woman going to beat the most dangerous villain of the world.
Pause for emphasis.
P1, hysterical: With a remote control?
P2: Hey, stop that! Thatâs toxic masculinity! Donât underestemate woman. Especially when you get in-between them and their romance shows.
P2 shivers.
P2: Theyâre scary.
Pause.
P1: Is she really beating him, with a remote?
P2: Look heâs taking it like a champ! *with mirth*
P2 claps his hands in delight.
P1: Where is the superhero?! Isnât she, I donât know, supposed to stop this?
P2: Look, sheâs there, eating popcorn.
P1: What?! Isnât she supposed to, um, protect the woman, uhhh, protect the villain from the woman?
P2: Nah, she lives for the drama. She let a bank robber go so she could see how his wife tore him apart. *shivers* That was a teryffying case. The robber turned himself in, said that heâll take prison than take his wife. âCause he could only survive one of those. The superhero was there the whole time, sometimes laughing, sometimes clapping her hands, to praise the good show.
P1: So then what do we do?
P2: Nothing.
P1: What?! Why?!
P2: The manâs already dead.
And that was that.
The villain arrived at the police station. Willingly. With a note stuck to his forhead. âLending you the meat, can be treated roughly, return to me for further cookingâ. Even the policemen felt sorry for the man.
This case would baffle police for decades.
The woman will have a statue erected in her honour, for deafeating the most dangerous man on earth, with a remote.
#funny#dad#dad jokes#villain#hero#you killed my father#no i am your father#joke#satire#comedy#bamfwomen#bamf#women are scary#womenempowerment#women supremacy#remote#beating people with remotes
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
A guide to communicating with your Soulmate.
Trigger & Content Warnings:Â Explicit Gore; Kinda; Disturbing thinking;
Soulmarks.
They have graced humanity, from the moment we became intelligent beings, or at least we took heed of them when we evolved.
They are looked upon as sacred treasures of the soul and are perceived as the ultimate matchmaking tool.
The concept is simple. Whenever a scratch finds itself on your soulmates body, it shall make itself visible on your body.
Yeah, well. I decided it was my ultimate goal to abuse that. So I picked up a knife, carved out a heart on my arm (after all, it is rather important to inform my soulmate that I am still thinking of them, and what better way to do that, than have a scar remind them, every single second of every day, of every month, of every year ,of their whole lifetime?).
What was previously an unblemished patch of skin, was now bloodied beyond recognition.
I admired my work. It looked very nice around the edges and it was even red too! Perfect. I hope my soulmate appreciates that.
Not 10 minutes later, a pinprick of pain drags down across my skin, forming the words "I like your style, babe.".
I smile.
It seems the universe does know what it's doing.
#soulmate#soulmarks#prompt#stuff#random#idk#whatever#dark#love#dark love#romance#foryou#creepy#disturbing#gore
5 notes
·
View notes