sa-dnesss - Tumblr blog

[sa-dnesss]

I don’t know how to do this anymore. I don’t know how to get better. My head is a dark place and it only gets worse, day by day. and I have no idea how to stop the darkness from coming in. I have no idea how to save myself anymore.

[sa-dnesss]

[sa-dnesss]

I don't want to be this broken anymore, but pain feels like home.

[sa-dnesss]

This house does not feel like home

[sa-dnesss]

Another year is over. Time flies by. Shit happens. People come and go, some stayed and some did not. This year has literally been an adventure, with a lot of downs but with some ups too. I do not regret anything this year, but me being lazy as fuck and letting my life slip away. To be honest, I thought this was the year that my life was over. I lost myself. I really did not want to live anymore. Not only was music there for me. I also have this incredible person in my life that helped me find happiness in life again. I still struggle every single day. But it gets better, eventually it all will, I guess, I hope. For now, whoever is reading this. I hope you have a great start in the New Year. May your dreams and your wishes come true. May you find the closure you seek or the feelings and happiness you need. Please stay strong. Please survive another year. It will be worth it. Here is to another year to find happiness in the little things.

[sa-dnesss]

Sleeping next to you is something I will never take for granted. Waking up in the middle of the night and being able to snuggle in closer or giving a kiss or just feeling your arms around me. Being able to drift off easier with you by my side, feeling safe, loved and knowing what we have and share is so special.

[sa-dnesss]

I want to scream and cry and die, all at the same time. It feels like my heart is being squeezed and it hurts so fucking much but it’s also so empty at the same time. I just want everything to fucking stop.

[sa-dnesss]

The weather has turned cold and the season of long sleeves has come

[sa-dnesss]

This is the loneliest I have ever felt

[sa-dnesss]

I don't like who I am. There is nothing good about me anymore. I am sick of wasting my time. I am worn out. I am really tired.

[sa-dnesss]

In the least depressing way possible, nobody misses me while I am here so nobody will miss me when I am gone.

[sa-dnesss]

I feel like I am so far behind in life that I will never catch up. Everybody is doing so many things with their lives and I am just here.. achieving nothing. I wonder if that's all I will ever be, nothing.

[sa-dnesss]

It’s gotten to the point where I don’t know who I am anymore. I constantly feel like I am on the verge of breaking down. I feel like I am going crazy, and if my mind is an ocean, my thoughts are a tsunami. I can’t sleep, I can’t concentrate, I can’t even think straight. I am a fucking mess.

[sa-dnesss]

I am so goddamn tired but I am only 22

[sa-dnesss]

[sa-dnesss]

I am starting to give up on life

[sa-dnesss]

My home will be a home with no loud anger, no explosive rage, no slamming doors or breaking glass, no holes punched into the walls, no name calling, shaming or blackmail. My home will be gentle, it will be warm. No fear, no hurt and no worries. I may come from a broken and twisted place but I will build something whole and safe.