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[sailor-opy]

Dare to fall (in love): chapter two

Hey look! There is a new chapter for this story! And finally it has a name.

Word count: 5 130 (these chapters just keep getting longer)

Warnings: There is some kissing, does that need a warning? Maybe, if someone isn’t interested in that. Then there is one thing that I think really needs a warning, but I’m not exactly sure how to put it. Maybe internal panicking due to a fear of intimacy?

Previous chapter: Chapter one

Chapter 2

When I wake up, it takes a while for me to remember where I am, but then it comes back to me. I’m at E’s place since last night I had no other option than to stay here and sleep on his couch. It seems that E is still asleep, so I get up and quietly wander around the house. I open the curtains in the living room and notice that it’s raining quite heavily outside. From the kitchen I find a clock and see that it’s already past ten o’clock. I realize that I’m actually rather hungry, and debate whether I should wait for E to wake up or if I could just go and take something from the fridge.

“What are you doing here?”

I startle and turn around when I hear E’s surprised voice behind me. And then I turn right back around again when I realize that E is only wearing shorts and nothing to cover his upper body. Even from my quick glance I was able to see that he was in good shape. Apparently E realizes what made me so flustered and explains apologetically:

“I was going to take a shower when I heard some noises from here, and just through something on to find out what it was.”

Part of me is glad that he did put something on before coming out of his bedroom, but some tiny part wishes he hadn’t. Damn this crush, I feel like I’m getting more and more enamored with E each day, instead of getting over him.

“But seriously, how are you here?”, E asks again.

“Ah, yes, I’m sorry. I don’t know if you remember, but last night Sam gave us a lift when we left from Matt and Jenna’s place. I tried to ask him if he knew where to take us, but he interrupted me before I had even finished the question and assured me that he knew where he was going. I didn’t want to keep going on about that too long after that, because I was afraid he might get annoyed. I don’t think he likes me very much,” I explain and turn around again to face E.

“Don’t mind about Sam. He’s not exactly what you’d call a people person and it takes some time for him to warm up to new people,” E explains to me.

“Well, anyway, when we got here, I got of the car to help you in here. I thought Sam was going to wait for me in the car, but when we were at the door, he just drove away. I would have called me a cab, but my phone had died during the evening, and you were passed out so I couldn’t use your phone or charger. I didn’t know what else to do so I stayed here and slept on your couch. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Why on Earth would I mind? I am a bit embarrassed though. I feel that I haven’t been a very good host for you so far. Are you hungry? The least I could do is offer you something to eat,” E offers.

“Breakfast sounds lovely. But I don’t mind if you want to take that shower and get dressed first,” I say, even though a tiny voice in my head screams that I definitely would mind that. Both because I’m actually quite hungry and because I don’t want to lose that mouthwatering sight of E topless.  But I sternly silence that inner voice.

Before going to the shower, E gives me his charger so that I can get my phone working again. I turn the phone on and write a short message to my mum to let her know that yes, I’m still alive. She always gets so worried about me if I go too long between messages while I’m traveling.

“Would you like to take a shower? I could borrow you a towel,” E asks when he reappears in the kitchen.

“Yes, that would be nice. Thank you,” I I answer. I don’t have any clean clothes here to change into, but a shower might at least help refresh me a bit.

After the shower, I find E in the kitchen sitting at the table with a large cup of coffee in his hands. He has set me a cup and a plate across the table from him, so I sit there and start to butter a toast. I take and closer look at E and notice that he doesn’t look very good, even though he tries to hide it.

“Is the hangover bad? It seemed to me that you were almost totally passed out by the time we got here,” I ask him.

“It’s not as bad as it could be. To be honest, I don’t even think I was that drunk last night. I’m a bit ashamed to say that I become sleepy quite quickly when I get drunk,” E explains. ”Though I hope you’re happy with being stuck here for a while. I don’t think I’m up to going anywhere just yet. And anyway, before we can go anywhere, I have to call Matt and ask when he can bring me my car back.”

“A quiet morning is fine by me. The weather seems a bit depressing anyway, so I’m in no hurry to leave the house quite yet,” I reassure him.  

After breakfast we spend the next few hours quite quietly watching some reruns of an old sitcom and occasionally commenting something about the episodes. It feels comfortable and natural, like we’d had spent countless days like this already. In the beginning we sat down in the opposite ends of the couch, but quickly we start to gravitate closer together, until I realize that I’m sitting there leaning against E’s chest and he has his arms around me. It’s still raining slightly outside, and I feel like we’re in our own little bubble, just the two of us. I want to stop time and stay in this moment forever. Until my stomach crumbles rather loudly.

“I guess someone is getting a bit hungry,” E teases me playfully and checks his watch. “Well, I guess it is about time we get some lunch. I’m afraid I don’t have much in at the moment, since I wasn’t expecting lunch guests. How about if I call Matt and ask if he could bring me my car, so that we could drive to the town and have something to eat there?”

I agree and after a short phone call E tells me that Matt is on his way. Jenna is doing some shopping in town and Matt tells that he can come with us to meet her there. That way we don’t have to take him back to his place first. He has agreed to meet Jenna at the parking lot in front of a small shopping center. When we step out of the car, we see Jenna already rushing towards us.

“Oh my God, it’s so nice to see you again!” she exclaims and gives me a big hug without even thinking about it. “Have you been all morning here by yourself, since E’s car has been at our place? I thought that I could have asked you come shopping with me today, but I didn’t have your number,” she asks worriedly.

“No, actually she spent the night at my place,” E interrupts before I have time to answer.

“Wait, what?” Jenna exclaims.

“Yeah. By the way, you might wanna teach that brother of your some manners. Not everyone is accustomed to his charms, and it can cause some a bit unfortunate misunderstandings,” E continues to tease Jenna, pretending to be annoyed.

“Oh no. Tell me what happened!” Jenna insists.

“Oh well, apparently during the car ride last night, this one here was trying to make sure that Sam actually knew where he was supposed to take us,” E starts to tell, gesturing towards me, and continues: “Sam assured, in his usual grumpy way, that he did in fact know that, so she didn’t push it more. You see, she’s under the impression that Sam doesn’t like her. Anyway, it turned out that Sam actually didn’t know where she was staying and left while she was helping me into my house.”

“That’s weird, I’m sure I told him where to take you two”, Jenna ponders innocently. I remember that Jenna had teased E about me not staying at his place, so I wonder if she was pranking us by not telling Sam where to take me.

“Oh yes, sure, if you say so”, E mutters sarcastically. Apparently he suspects the same.

“But wait a minute. That doesn’t still explain how she ended up sleeping at your place”, Jenna realizes and gestures towards me. E looks a bit embarrassed, so I jump in and explain the rest of the story of how I ended up sleeping on E’s couch. Then we say goodbye to Matt and Jenna who head back to their car, and we head to the mall to find a restaurant to have lunch.

After lunch it has stopped raining and the sun is shining again.  E suggests that we’d go on a short hike to the forest near his house, where there is a nice, easy trail that has great views over the surrounding area, and I agree. On our way we stop by my hotel, so that I can change into something more appropriate, since I’m still wearing the same clothes I put on yesterday for the barbecue.

***

About half an hour later E parks his car by the side of the road near the start of the nature path, and we head to the forest. We follow the path upwards a slope of a hill for a while. The air feels fresh and sometimes drops of water fall on us from the trees that are still wet from the rain. We reach the top of that first small hill and when we continue down the other side, I feel the slippery mud under my start to move. I try my best to keep my balance, but in a blink of an eye I’ve fallen down and rolled down to the ditch by the path.

“Oh my God, are you ok?” E worries when he hurries to me.

“I have few scratches and bruises, but otherwise I think I’m fine”, I reassure E when he helps me up from the ground. But when I try to take a step, I feel a sharp pain in my left ankle. E has stayed right by my side and watches me so attentively that he sees immediately my face wincing in pain.

“What is it?”

“My ankle hurts. I think it might be sprained,” I explain. When I see E’s worried expression I hurry to calm him.

“It’s ok, I don’t think it’s anything too serious. Look, I can stand on it just fine. I’ve sprained my ankle like this before, and I just need to keep something cold on it for a while, and then it simply needs some rest. I probably won’t be hiking any more during this vacation, but trust me, it’s nothing serious and I’ll be fine in no time.”

“I think I should still take you to the hospital, just to be sure.”

“I’d prefer if you took me somewhere where I can take a shower and wash all this mud off of me.”

E helps me get back to the path. There E offers to carry me back to his car on piggyback, but I refuse. I argue that the path is still slippery and if he falls down, we might both end up hurting ourselves even more. He grudgingly agrees with my reasoning and we start our slow return to his car.

*** And so, I find myself in E’s bathroom for the second time that day. After helping me to his bathroom and leaving me a towel and some of his clothes to change into, he left me to clean up myself and went to look for some first aid supplies to tend my injuries. I wash all the mud off me, I wrap myself in the towel and step out of the shower.  E has left me one of his t-shirts and gym shorts to wear. They are both way too big for me, but my only other option are the wet and muddy clothes I had on earlier. I glance at the pile of my dirty clothes in the corner of the bathroom and debate whether I should do something to them. My ankle is really starting to ache though, and I just want to sit down and rest it, so I decide to deal with them later.

I get dressed and limp out of the bathroom to look for E. I find him in the kitchen where he has laid out all kinds of first aid supplies on the table. When he turns to look at me, I suddenly feel very self-conscious about how I look. In general, I think myself as average-looking at best, but wet hair, no makeup and ill-fitting, borrowed clothes isn’t really my best look. And even though I have no reason to think that E would be interested in me, I’d like to look good around him.

E moves towards me to help me walk, but I wave him off and hobble towards the table on my own. E has really been hovering over me ever since my accident, and I feel really conflicted about it. On the other hand, it feels so good to have him take care of me. I would just want to let myself sink into it, and simply enjoy being taken care of. On the other hand, I have to constantly remind myself that I shouldn’t get used to it, and that it doesn’t mean what I would like it to mean, so it might be better to not have it at all. That’s why I try to ease his worrying by acting as normally as I can, to convince him that my injuries really aren’t that serious and that I can manage on my own.

“Hop on here,” E says and pats the table when I get to him. I push myself to sit on the table and E starts to go over my wounds, cleaning them with disinfectant and putting plasters on the bigger scrapes. Then he moves his attention to my injured ankle. He pulls a chair in front of me and sits down to get a closer look. He crabs a bandage that he starts to wrap around my foot and ankle to help with the swelling and to give some support when I walk.  Then E holds my foot in his other hand, and grabs something cold wrapped in a towel and presses it against my ankle. All this time neither of us says a word, and I just observe what he’s doing. I feel weird tension between us, and it makes me nervous. Even when I try to come up with something to say, it feels like all my words get stuck in my throat. Finally E lifts his face to meet my eyes.

“Now, are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital? You didn’t hit your head or anything like that that should be checked over?”

“No, I’m fine, really,” I say and smile reassuringly. And I’m not saying that just to stop E from worrying either. I might be slightly aching and sore all over my body, but I don’t feel anything more alarming.

“Do you need any painkillers?”

“All I need is a quiet night in, resting my foot.”

“Ok, good.”

We both fall silent after that for a while.

“What’s in there?” I ask and nod towards the towel bundle.

“Frozen peas,” E says, smiling a little.

“I hope you didn’t have any great plans for them,” I joke apologetically.

“Nothing I couldn’t sacrifice for the greater good,” E says nonchalantly. Oddly, I get the feeling that he’s only half joking. Then he glances at the clock and puts the towel, with the peas, back to the table.

“I think that’s enough for now. We don’t want you getting any frostbites, do we?” he says gently and lets go of my foot.

I feel the tension rise anew and words get stuck in my throat once again. E stands up and moves his chair away, but doesn’t step back himself. He seems to be impossibly close, and I don’t know where to look. Some of my hair have fallen in front of my face and E surprises me by gently brushing them back behind my ear.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he whispers.

“Wha…?” I stutter and look up to E’s face to see his small smile and soft expression. I feel like I’m not sure what’s happening, and the whole situation has suddenly become a bit surreal.

“What the hell, I’m just going to say it,” E mumbles under his breath, and then continues louder: “I was going to tell you this today, at a viewpoint along that hiking trail actually. It’s a beautiful place and I thought it would make it more special. Anyway, I’m rambling now.” E stops and takes a deep breath.

“I like you. I mean more than as a friend.”

“No. Are you teasing me? Is this some kind of joke, to see if you can make me believe you?” My brain refuses to believe what E is saying.

“No, this isn’t a joke. I really meant what I said,” E assures me with a serious expression.

“I don’t understand…” I whisper weakly.

“I haven’t said anything earlier, because I wanted to be sure about my feelings first. But now that you’ve been here, it has become clear to me that I really am attracted to you,” E explains. “Now, the most important question is, have you ever thought that you could be interested in me?”

I feel a big, uncontrollable smile spread on my face. I’m too excited to form words, but I nod eagerly.  E smiles widely too and leans even closer to me. He lifts his other hand to caress my cheek, while he leans to the table with the other.

“Could I kiss you?”

And just like that, I’m nervous again. The smile drops from my face and I instinctively flinch back. For a moment, neither of us moves or says a word. Then E sighs and looks away.

“Well, I guess that answers my question,” he says, disappointment clear on his face, and starts to move away from me.

I feel a new wave of panic wash over me, when I realize that E has completely misunderstood my reaction. Though in hindsight, it’s easy to see why. Frantically I crab a hold of his shirt to stop him from moving away. Then I pull him closer, wrap my arms around him and hide my face against his chest. For a couple of seconds E just stands there, but then he carefully wraps his arms loosely around my waist. For a while we just stay there, perfectly still.

“You know, I’m getting a bit mixed messages here,” E laughs gently, but clearly confused. I take a deep breath and lift my head of E’s chest, so that he can hear more clearly what I’m going to say. It still feels like there is a lump in my throat that stops my words from coming out of my mouth, but I know that I simply have to explain my behavior. But I can’t look E in the eyes yet.

“I just needed a bit time to get my head around all this. I had no idea that you might be interested in me, so it took me by surprise,” I explain quietly.  

“Oh, really? I feared I might have made it quite obvious. Jenna at least has been teasing me about it for ages already, though to her I have tried to deny it.”

“Well, when it comes to things like these, I really need it spelled out for me. With you, I just thought you were being kind and friendly with me,” I explain and finally lift my gaze to meet E’s eyes, with an embarrassed smile on my lips.

“And to answer your question: yes, you can. Kiss me, I mean. If you still want to,” I say feeling a bit nervous again, but this is different kind of nervousness. Good kind that makes butterflies fly in my stomach instead of earlier panic that made me freeze. I try to turn my face away, but E gently grabs a hold of my chin and lifts my face so that I’m looking in his eyes.

“I definitely still want to,” he growls, just before he presses his lips against mine. Our first kiss is sweet, gentle and absolutely too short in my opinion. I’m embarrassed by the desperate little noises I make when E pulls back, but he just smiles adoringly at me and pulls me to sit closer to the edge of the table. Now E is standing between my thighs and our chests are almost touching. Then he leans closer and kisses me again, this time more passionately. He also lets his hands to wander around my body. The kiss just goes on and I lose all track of time. I feel like I’m in Heaven.

I crash back to reality, when I realize that E’s wandering hands are sliding up my thighs and under the legs of the shorts I’m wearing. My whole body tenses, I break the kiss and then, reacting instinctively again, I grab a tight hold of his wrists to stop his hands. I keep staring at our hands to avoid looking at E, because I’m afraid of what his expression might tell me.

“What’s the matter?” E asks, confused by the sudden turn of events.

“I want… so much,” I close my eyes, hoping it would make it easier to get the words out, “ ...to do so many things with you… But it feels like everything is happening so fast. And I don’t usually do things like this. So I’m a bit nervous.”

‘A bit nervous’ is probably the understatement of the year, because honestly I feel almost like paralyzed by fear. I have been dreaming about something like this happening with E for so long, but never believed that it could come true. So now that against all my expectations it is happening, I’m afraid I might ruin everything by doing or saying something wrong. But at the same time, I’d really like us to slow down.

“It’s ok, we don’t have to hurry. We have all the time in the world,” E assures me. “And I’m not expecting anything,” he continues, probably guessing what I was trying to say with my disorganized rambling.

I slowly loosen the death grip I have of E’s wrists, and he lifts his hands to rub gently my shoulders.

“I hope you know that we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he says solemnly. I nod, because I do know that. And I trust E to listen to me and respect my wishes. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. So I can’t really explain why I’m still behaving like this.

“Good,” E sighs and pulls me in a hug. He rubs my back and slowly I start to relax again.

“I kind of liked the kissing though,” I whisper playfully to his ear.

“Oh, really?” I can hear the teasing smile in his voice and then he pulls back just enough that I can see it too.

“You know what? I kind of liked it too. So I guess we could just keep doing that then,” he continues and gives me one long sweet kiss. “But how about if we move this to the couch? There we might both get a bit more comfortable.”

I nod and push myself down from the table. I manage to take only a couple of steps towards the living room before I feel E’s arms wrap around my waist and his body pressing against my back.

“E!, What are you doing? We can’t walk like this,” I ask laughing.

“Too bad, because I’m not letting you go. I want to have you as close as possible, now that I can.”

Walking like that with my sprained ankle isn’t easy, but slowly we fumble to the living room. On our way there, E starts to pepper my neck and the side of my face with small kisses, which quickly turn to more heated ones when he notices that I clearly enjoy them. When we get to the couch, E sits down first and pulls me to sit on his lap.

“Now, where were we…?” he ask flirtatiously and I lean in for another kiss.

***

I have totally lost a track of time again since we got onto this coach. We have spent the evening alternating between intensive snogging and talking about anything and everything. At some point we have moved to laying on the coach side by side. At the moment E has propped himself up on his other elbow and he’s looking down at me. E seems incapable of keeping his hands off of me and so his other hand is running gently up and down my arm and side. He’s obviously thinking something.

“Do you always go silent and distant when you’re nervous?” he finally asks.

I’m quite taken aback by the fact that he’s paid so much attention to me that he has noticed that.

“Yeah, I guess so. Most of the time at least. Or maybe in certain situations,” I try to explain. “I don’t do it on purpose, but if I feel like I don’t know what I should do or say, I freeze and am incapable of doing anything.”

“Ok, that’s good to know. Is there anything particular that makes you feel that way?”

“Some times new or unexpected things make me nervous. Most of the time it’s because I’m not sure what other people are expecting of me. Or I might feel that I should do one thing but I’d actually really want to do something else and I’m unable to decide between them. And if there is someone waiting for me to answer, that added pressure doesn’t really help me think at all, so I end up freezing even harder. It feels like my brain is running overdrive but at the same time not a single thought is moving in my brain.”

E leans down and kisses me gently on my cheek.

“I hope that you would always feel comfortable to tell me what you want instead of what you think you should say or what you feel I’m expecting or wanting to hear.”

“I know. I promise I’ll try at least,” I mumble against E’s chest. Then a thought suddenly occurs to me.

“By the way, what time it is?”

E looks at his watch.

“Oh crap, it’s already past eleven.”

“Is it really that late already? Don’t you have to go to work tomorrow? Maybe I should head back to the hotel,” I say and sit up. E quickly follows me and puts his hands on my hips.

“Please, don’t go yet,” he pleads and kisses me on my shoulder. “You could even… maybe stay here for the night?” he suggests carefully.

I can feel a few tendrils of nervousness begin to rise within me after E’s suggestion, but they are nowhere near as overpowering as the ones earlier in the day. I’m definitely not against the idea, but at the same time I feel a bit apprehensive.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” I say hesitantly, “I don’t even have my pyjamas here.”

“I could borrow you something to sleep in,” E quickly counters my argument. “And if it makes you feel better, I could even sleep on the couch.  I just want to spend as much time with you as possible.”

I lean against E’s chest and he patiently waits for me to take a stock of how I’m feeling about this idea. On the other hand, going back to the hotel would be sticking to the plan, and in some sense a safe option. It’s what I was expecting to happen tonight. But on the other hand, I would actually really want to stay here. Finally I come to a conclusion.

“Ok,” I say and press a quick kiss on E’s lips. “But I stay on the couch.”

“I’m fine with anything, if it means that you’ll stay,” E breathes and pulls me into a hug.

***

Later that evening E offers to give another shirt of his, but I decide that I can sleep in the clothes I’m already wearing. The mechanics of his sofa bed are quite stiff, and E struggles somewhat to get it open, but in the end we manage to make me quite a comfy looking bed for the night. I feel slightly awkward when E kisses me good night and leaves me alone in the living room, but I try my best to get comfortable in my bed.

I keep tossing and turning, but there is something bothering me and preventing me from falling asleep. I realize that I feel disappointed with the current situation somehow. In the end, I come to the conclusion that staying on the couch was still a safe option and I was too afraid to do as I really wanted earlier. In a fit of determination I throw off my blanket and limp to E’s door. After a careful knock he opens the door wearing only boxer briefs. I hadn’t considered about that and the sight makes my brain short-circuit and most of my determination disappear.

“I-I was thinking… maybe I could… after all…” I stumble and gesture towards his bed.

“Do you want to sleep here?” E asks.

I can only nod. E takes a hold of my hand and leads me to his bed. We lay down, and E turns off his table lamp. Then he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him.

“I’m sorry I made you pull out the sofa bed for nothing,” I whisper into the darkness.

“Hey, it’s ok, you just needed a bit more time to think this through. And you’re always allowed to change your mind, I don’t mind that. Especially if it means that I get to have you here with me,” E whispers to my ear and then kisses my cheek. “Now, let’s sleep.”

“Alright. Good night.”

“Good night.”

[sailor-opy]

The Musketeers | The Exiles

[sailor-opy]

Dare to fall (in love): chapter 1

Well, it took way longer than I thought it would take to get this chapter finished. To be honest, this chapter became much longer than I thought it would be, but that’s not really a reason for it taking me so much time to finish it. I just tend to hog way too many things to do, and then those things without firmly set deadline usually tend to be pushed for later.

Word count: 3 794

Warnings: None I guess? Can’t think of any.

Previous chapter: Prologue

Chapter 1

I walk restlessly around the lobby of my hotel. It’s almost noon, and my friend E should be here any minute now. I’ve been awake since four in the morning, partly because of my nerves and partly because I’m still jet lagged. Yesterday I finally arrived to my hotel in the early evening after two flights and a couple of hours in a bus. After I had checked in the hotel, I barely managed to have a quick dinner at the restaurant of the hotel before falling in my bed, asleep almost instantly.

So here I am, walking back and forth the lobby of the hotel. It’s Saturday, so E has a day off, and he has promised to show me the town and the surroundings. I reach the wall of the lobby and when I turn around I see him walk in. I stop and feel an uncontrollable smile grow on my lips the same time as a blush creeps on my face. This is stupid, why am I so nervous about meeting him? It’s not like we haven’t seen each other before, we have talked in numerous video calls before this for heaven’s sake! To be honest, I know perfectly well why I’m nervous: officially E and I are only friends, but secretly I have a massive crush on him.

When E notices me I force my feet to start moving again and walk towards him. I have spent the morning debating how I should greet him: with a handshake (maybe not, too formal), a wave (but does that make me seem too distant?) or a hug (but is it too familiar?). So far I haven’t come to any conclusion and I’m running out of time now. In the end, I don’t need to decide, because as soon as he can reach me, E crabs me in his arms for a hug. My brains can barely register anything else besides how good he smells and how nice his arms feel around me.

“Hi. Nice to finally meet you,” he says. “I hope your travel went well yesterday.”

“Hi. It’s nice to meet you too. And yes, my travel went well. My first flight was a bit delayed, but I feel that that happens almost every time I fly somewhere, and I had still plenty of time to catch my second flight, so it didn’t really matter,” I hear myself babble nervously when he lets me go. “Though, when I got here I was ready to fall asleep on my feet, like I told you I’d be, so it was just as good that you didn’t waste your time picking me up from the bus station. I wouldn’t have been very good company.”

E sighs heavily.

“It’s nice to hear that your travel went well. But like I told you before, I would have gladly picked you up; it really wouldn’t have been a waste of time. But that’s enough about that now,” E ends the conversation that we’ve had numerous times already while planning my stay here, and he leads me out of the hotel. We take a quick tour around the town and its main attractions by foot before we jump in to E’s car. We spend the next couple of hours driving around the surrounding area, as he shows me the local sights. Around three o’clock we stop at a restaurant that he calls his favourite, to have a late lunch.

“What have you planned for the rest of the day?” I ask when we are waiting for our orders to arrive.

“Actually, my friend Matt and his wife Jenna are having a little barbeque party later tonight,” E tells me.

“Oh. Ok,” I say trying to hide my disappointment. I had assumed that since I had come all this way to meet him, he would have reserved this time to send it with me, but of course it was silly of me to assume something like that. He has a life and other friends too, and he’s not going to put all that on hold because I come to visit. And this is just my first day here, so we still have plenty of time to hang out later. “I guess I see you tomorrow then?”

“Oh, nonono, I didn’t mean it like that. You’re invited too.”

“Are you sure that’s ok? I don’t know your friends at all, and I would hate to intrude.”

“Trust me, it’s absolutely fine. Jenna downright insisted that I bring you too,” he reassures me and continues to joke, “I’m actually a bit terrified to think what she would do if I didn’t bring you with me.”

“Well, I guess it’s fine then,” I say a bit apprehensively. To be honest, I’m not sure if going to the party with E is any better than spending the night at the hotel by myself. I’m not exactly at my best in large crowds of people I don’t know. Especially, if other people in the crowd know each other already.

After lunch E drops me off at the hotel so that I can get ready for the party. He says he’s already ready to go, so he goes to the bar across the street to have something to drink and watch some football while he waits for me. Apparently it’s quite casual party and E says that I wouldn’t need to change either, but I want to freshen up a bit to make a good impression. Or at least try to, because I have no idea what to wear.  After going through my whole suitcase I end up wearing a simple red t-shirt and a knee-length dark blue denim skirt. I put on a bit make up and then brush my hair and leave it open. Besides a ponytail and a tight bun that’s pretty much the extent of what I can do to my hair, and I don’t want to keep E waiting for too long by trying to do something fancy. When I’m ready, I send a short message to E, slip on simple black flats, grab my hand bag and a white jacket in case it gets chilly later in the evening, and rush back out.

***

During the ride to E’s friends’ place, I’m quite nervous and quietly watch the scenery we drive past. With someone else, the silence might feel awkward, but not with E. I rather like sitting quietly in a car with him, a radio playing in the background. If I wasn’t worrying the evening that was to come, I think I would have enjoyed this ride a lot. E’s friends live a short drive out of town and sooner than I’d like we are already there. We are walking to the door when it’s opened by a woman in her mid thirties. She has short blond hair and she is wearing a loose yellow tunic and dark capri jeans.

“Hi E! Great, now everyone is here” she greets, before she turns her eyes to me. “And you must be E’s little friend. Nice to finally meet you. E has mentioned you a couple of times, but he has been rather dingy with the details, so it’s great to actually get to know you. My name is Jenna. Come in, come in, I’ll introduce you to the rest of the group,” she tells me as she leads me inside the house. “E! There’s beer in the fridge, help yourself. Matt and the rest of the men are in the back yard tending the grill, you can join them,” Jenna shouts over her shoulder to E before turning back to me, “Now my darling, what would you like to drink?” A bit confused by the reception I got, I look over my shoulder to E, but he just shrugs his shoulders, looking a bit confused as well but amused, so I decide just go with the flow and see what happens.

It doesn’t take me long to decide that I really like Jenna. She’s happy and bubbly, talks about a mile a minute and is probably used to getting her way since she doesn’t take no for an answer, but she makes me feel really welcomed and seems truly interested in getting to know me and hearing what I have to say. She leads me to the backyard and introduces me to the rest of the guests there: first to a group of men around the grill and then to a group of women sitting around a table on a patio behind the house, sipping wine and other refreshments. There are about ten of us in total, all guests either old school friends of Matt and Jenna or their significant others. They are all in their mid to late thirties, which makes me about 5-10 years younger than everybody else, but I don’t feel like that makes any difference at all. They ask me more about me and tell funny stories about E that I haven’t heard before. Then the conversation slowly turns to our work, families and what’s going on in everyone’s lives while some of us help Jenna set the table.

“By the way, I haven’t stopped by E’s place in ages. Has he already finished repainting his house?” Jenna asks me suddenly.

“I’m not sure. He hasn’t mentioned anything about it and I haven’t seen his place yet,” I tell her.

“What? Didn’t you come yesterday? Aren’t you staying at his place?” Jenna asks incredulously.

“No, I’m staying at the hotel in town. We thought that that would be best all things considered,” I answer.

Suddenly E appears behind me carrying a plate full of food from the grill.

“How are you getting along here?” he asks me. “If I had know that Jenna was planning on hijacking you and that I’d hardly get to speak with you the whole time, I’d had reconsidered coming here at all tonight.

“Hey E! What is this thing I just heard? Are you seriously making your guest stay at the hotel? That’s so rude; maybe I really should snatch her from you. At least then she would get to enjoy the comforts of home instead of an empty, lonely hotel room every evening,” Jenna gently teases E.

E simply rolls his eyes and takes a seat at the table next to me as the rest of the men join us too. Jenna’s husband Matt sits next to me on my other side and across the table there is Sam, Jenna’s brother. Matt seems just as easygoing and friendly as Jenna, but Sam makes me a bit nervous. He looks so serious and his comments are always short and curt. It’s almost like he’s angry at me, but I can’t understand why, since I’ve barely had time to say anything to him after our introduction. Despite that, we all enjoy of good food and lively conversation for at least a couple of hours until it suddenly turns dark and a few rain drops start to fall. At that point we have already finished eating so we quickly crab empty plates and other dishes and rush inside. One couple notices that it’s starting to get quite late and they’d better go home, because their babysitter is probably already waiting for them. The rest of us move to the living room. Besides Jenna, Matt, E and I there are Sam and three other women, but I’m too tired and have met so many people today that I just can’t get their names in my head.

Someone suggests that we turn on the TV and watch some horror movie that they have been talking about watching. I’m not really into horror movies, but I don’t want to stop everyone if they want to watch it. I can watch one horror movie, and who knows, maybe it’s not even as scary as I think, I try to reason with me. And yes, it’s fine in the beginning, but after about half an hour all the gore starts to get too much for me. So, I grab my empty glass and mumble something about going to the kitchen to fill my glass. But when I get there, I don’t really know what to do. I don’t want to go back right away, so I just decide to sit in the kitchen for a while. I had left my hand bag in the living room, but my phone is in my pocket, so I take it out and start to scroll through my Facebook and Instagram feeds to pass some time.

***

“Here you are. I was starting to wonder where you went.”

I startle and turn my eyes to the kitchen door where E is leaning against the door frame, arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Why are you sitting here all by yourself?”

“To be honest, horror movies aren’t really my thing. The movie was starting to get too scary and gross for my taste,” I admit.

“Why didn’t you say anything? We could have chosen some other movie or do something totally different instead,” E asks.

“No, it’s fine, everyone else wanted to watch that. I just needed a short break, I’ll get back there soon,” I assure him.

E watches me pensively for a while. Then he pushes himself of the door frame and walks to the fridge to get a colourful can of some kind of soda while he starts to talk.

“How about we do this: we go back to the living room and you come sit next to me. That way, if the movie gets too scary, I’m there to keep you safe.”

Oh my God, why did he have to say that? I’m there to keep you safe. That sentence, coming from anyone, is enough to make me melt, and E isn’t just anyone. I’m trying to get over my crush on him, not even more infatuated. I’m sure my face is blushing so bad when I nod and follow E back to the living room. There E sits down on the sofa leaving me some room at the end of it, and puts his can of soda on the side table. I sit down next to him to the place he has left for me, but E’s not happy yet. He leans down and lifts my legs on the other side of his legs, forcing me to turn sideways, leaning against the armrest as well as the backrest. E has left his left hand on my shins, and his right hand is on top of the backrest of the sofa.

“What’s going on?” Jenna asks curiously. She’s been watching us since we came back from the kitchen.

“This one here was being overly polite and didn’t think to mention that she doesn’t actually care for horror movies,” E says and slightly tousles my hair.”I found her hiding in the kitchen and promised to keep her safe for the rest of the movie.”

“Well, isn’t that very chivalrous of you,” Jenna teases him before turning back to the TV.

At first I find it hard to relax, sitting this close to E, so I try to focus on the movie. But it doesn’t take long before the events on the screen force me to turn my eyes from the screen for the first time. Every time I look away, E notices it and rubs calmingly either my shins or my back, and without even noticing it, I start to lean more and more against him. It feels actually very nice: safe and warm, and in the dimly lit room my eyes start to close. It’s been a long day already.

***

When I first start to wake up from my slumber, I don’t remember where I am. Everything is calm and peaceful, and I can hear a few hushed voices talking around me. But then it all comes flooding back: I’m at Matt and Jenna’s place and still in E’s arms leaning against him, and I quickly pull away from him.

“Hey, look who’s up! Hello Sleepyhead,” E laughs and tousles gently my hair again.

I’m too embarrassed for falling asleep like that to say anything. I look around me and see that the movie has clearly ended a while ago. Other guests have left already and besides E and me there is only Matt in the living room. I hear a door close somewhere in the house and right after that Jenna walks in.

“Ok, now that Sam has gone there are only you two left”, she says to E.

“I think we should get going too”, E says and starts to get up from the sofa. “I think it’s about time I get this sleepyhead into bed.”

Jenna and Matt burst into laughter and I blush when I understand what his words are implying.

“Oh, shut up, I didn’t mean it like that and you know it!” E snaps slurring a bit. “I simply meant that it’s late, and she is tired so she should go to sleep. In her bed. At the hotel. Alone.”

That makes Jenna and Matt laugh even more. E starts to walk towards the front door, but stumbles seemingly over nothing. That seems a bit weird so I take a closer look on him. I can’t really put my finger on it, but something seems off about him.

“E, are you drunk?” I ask worriedly.

“No, I can’t be. I only drank one or two beers during dinner, and that’s hours ago. After that I’ve been drinking that weird soda,” he answers, but there is a bit of uncertainty in his voice.

“What weird soda?” Jenna asks.

“The one in the colourful cans. I haven’t seen them around here in the stores before. It tasted really good, it had quite fruity flavour.”

“Oh, nononono. My parents bought those cans from their cruise last week. It’s not just soda, it has alcohol in it. Quite a lot actually”, Jenna explains apologetically.

“Shit. I don’t think I can drive”, E states shaking his head.

“What do we do now? How do we get back to the hotel and your pace?” I ask looking from E to Matt and Jenna.

“Sorry mate, I didn’t think that I would need to drive tonight, so I’ve been drinking”, Matt says.

“I know! Sam can’t have gotten too far yet. I’ll call him and ask him to give you a lift!” Jenna exclaims and before anyone has time to say anything she has already taken out her phone and dialled Sam’s number. After a short conversation during which Jenna explains the situation to Sam she ends the call.

“He’ll turn back and gives you a lift,” she informs us. I’m a bit nervous about the idea of being confined into the car with Sam, but I don’t think I have any other choice. And it’s not like I would actually think that he would do something to me, so it can’t be that bad. After all, it’s just a relatively short drive.

While we wait for Sam it gets more and more clear just how drunken E really is. And in his drunken state he’s reasoned with himself that since he’s already too drunk to drive, he can keep drinking some more, and insists on finishing his last drink. He’s having hard time keeping his balance and he’s starting to get quite sleepy. When Sam finally turns to the driveway, Jenna runs to him, probably to give him some driving instructions while me and Matt walk E to the car and get him in the back seat behind the driver’s seat. I go round to the other side of the car and get in the back seat myself. After Sam starts the car I feel like I should say something.

“Thank you for giving us a lift. I hope it’s not too much trouble for you.”

“Yeah, well, whatever”, Sam mumbles.

“Did Jenna tell you where...“

“Yes, she told me where to take you,” Sam interrupts me before I’ve even finished my question. After that I don’t really know what to say, so I just sit there quietly watching out of the window. When Sam stops the car in front of what I guess must be E’s house, he turns to look at me.

“Do you think you can get him inside by yourself, or do you need me to help?” He asks and gestures to E.

“I think I can manage by myself, thank you”, I tell him and get out of the car. E has almost fallen asleep during the ride and it takes a while to get him out of the car and up the few stairs to his porch. I fish his keys from his pocket and open his front door. When we step in, I hear a car engine to start and when I turn my head I see Sam driving away. What’s this, didn’t Jenna tell him that I’m not staying at E’s place but in a hotel at the town? I can’t run after him, because E is leaning against me, so I try to yell and wave my hands, but Sam just keeps driving away. With a sigh I decide to get E inside and to bed first and think about what to do about my situation then. I help E to his bedroom and take off his jacket before letting him fall on the bed and taking off his shoes. He’s asleep almost instantly. Then I walk into the living room and rummage my handbag for my phone in order to call me a taxi.

“Oh shit!” I curse when I notice that the battery of my phone has died at sometime during the night. I get back to E’s bedroom to look for his phone. It’s in the pocket of his jacket, but it’s locked and I can’t get E to wake up, so it’s really no use for me. I open a couple of E’s drawers looking for his charger, hoping it would fit my phone, but it doesn’t feel good to go through his belongings like that, so I stop before I can find it. I walk back to the living room and sit down on the sofa to think what I should do. There really aren’t many options to be honest. I can’t call anyone, and E lives too far from the town for me to walk there. And I don’t think that would be a wise option anyway: walking alone at night in an unfamiliar place. So in the end I do the only rational think I can think of: I lay down on the sofa and try to get some sleep.

[sailor-opy]

[sailor-opy]

Dare to fall (in love): prologue

Hello! I have recently been spending more time on Tumblr again and after reading so many lovely fanfics I wanted to try something new: writing my own fiction. I still need to come up with a name for this story, but I wanted to get this out already.

Name: Prologue

Word count: 1 306

Prologue

”I must be totally mad”, I think for what must be at least the thousandth time in the last couple of weeks. The reason that makes me question my sanity is that at the moment I’m at the airport, waiting for boarding to start, so that I can fly half way across the world to meet a guy I’ve met online a couple of months ago. I’ve watched enough crime shows to know that, even though I’m sure my new friend would never hurt me, sometimes the bad guys are good at making their victims feel like that until it’s too late, and I could very well be on my way to meet some crazy murderer.

I have obviously taken some precautions in case something goes wrong. I have booked myself a room at a hotel, so that I don’t have to stay at my friend’s place if I don’t want to for any reason. And of course I have told a few of my closest friends and my brother exactly where I’m going. That was one of those conversations me and my brother sometimes have, which started with the words “Don’t tell mom...” My mom thinks I’m going to meet a former colleague who has moved to the States. If she knew the truth of where I was going, she would worry herself sick, and no one would be having any fun on either side of the Atlantic until I would be back home. Sometimes I wonder if my mother’s tendency to worry about everything is the reason why I’m having hard time judging if this trip of mine is stupidly reckless or actually nothing to worry about, if I just use some common sense.

There is also another reason why I think this trip might not be such a good idea, even though my gut feeling about my friend would be right and he would really turn out to be as great a guy as I think he is. At this point I really can’t lie to myself anymore, and I have to admit that I have a massive crush on him. Unfortunately tough, I really have no clue about whether he sees me only as a friend or if he feels the same as me. Sometimes, when I read his messages or talk to him, I wonder if he’s flirting with me, but usually I brush that thought away almost immediately, tell myself not to be stupid and that he’s just being friendly. It’s not like he has been very obviously flirting, and most likely I’m just reading way too much between the lines because of my own feelings.

Meeting with him now definitely doesn’t help me getting over these feelings, and it would really be better to meet after I’ve gotten over this crush. Even if he felt the same about me, I can’t see a future for our relationship. We live on different continents and neither of us is interested in long distance relationship. Furthermore, it wouldn’t be sensible for him to move in with me, because he doesn’t even speak my language, which would make it so much more difficult for him to find a job and life here in general. It would be easier if I moved to America to live with him, but I’m not sure that I would be willing to leave my family, friends and my whole life behind. But maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here, and I should really focus on worrying about whether my gut feeling about him was actually right, or if I’m lured into a trap of some sadistic criminal.

To be honest, I’m having hard time believing that all this is actually happening. It’s all been so out of character for me. You see, I’m definitely not social when it comes to social media or online activity in general. I do have some social media accounts, but I mainly use them to make my own posts and to stalk other people. I never really comment on anything except if it’s to answer a comment addressed to me. Occasionally, but very rarely, I might also comment on a post made by my relatives or real life friends. But then one day I stumbled upon this blog. Based on the posts and answers to comments, the person behind the blog seemed very kind and interesting, and instantly I got the impression that I would feel good with him. I couldn’t help myself and had to leave a little comment on one of his posts. And then he answered it!

I kept following his blog and leaving little comments every now and then and he answered to most of my comments. Slowly our communication started to move from the comment section of his blog to private messages and Whatsapp. First we only communicated through messages, but soon we started making video calls too, even though finding suitable time was a bit difficult due to the time difference. We talked about everything, and for some reason I felt comfortable telling him about things that I hadn’t told any of my other friends. But my crush, which feels more like an obsession to be honest, makes me always want more, and soon simply talking to him on a video call didn’t feel enough anymore.

About a month ago I mentioned during one of our calls that it would be nice to meet him. He agreed, but unfortunately he couldn’t take time off from his work to travel any time soon.

“What if I came there?” I suggested. “I have my summer holiday in July, and usually I make a trip somewhere during that time, so I might as well come to see you.”

“Are you sure about that? I would still have to work, and I would feel bad that I could spend so little time with you, knowing that you have come here just to meet me. And what if we don’t get along in person? I feel like it’s unfair that you would invest your so much your time and money coming here and risk it going to waste, when I had to risk pretty much nothing,” he hesitated.

“Don’t worry about it, if it turns out that we drive each other crazy if there isn’t an ocean between us, I can just spend the rest of my holiday travelling around the USA. I’m used to travelling alone, and I’ve never been there, so I’m sure I find enough interesting things to do and see there to make my trip worth it, regardless of how we get along. And the same goes for the times that you have to work: I can just spend the time exploring the area where you live. You can’t seriously tell me that there’s nothing interesting to see there,” I reassured him. I tried to keep my tone light and hide how desperately I actually wanted to meet him and spend time with him.

After a little more negotiation and planning it was settled: I’m going to the USA for two weeks in the beginning of my summer holiday. I will go to see him first and then we will see how things go from there. If we feel that we’ve had enough of each other before that two weeks are over, I’ll spend the rest of my holiday travelling around. But if things go well and if we get along well, we will have two weeks to spend together. I was hardly able to contain my excitement after that call. The nerves kicked in only later.

I’m waked from my memories by an announcement informing me that boarding for my flight has started. “It’s time to go,” I tell myself when I collect my belongings and head to the gate. “I really must be totally mad...”

[sailor-opy]

This kept appearing on my feed and every time I have found it amazing. But I thought I had already reblogged it, so I didn't do it again. Now I noticed though, that it was actually a different Aramis collage that I had reblogged previously, so I could reblog this too. 😅

Santiago Cabrera as Aramis in The Musketeers (x6)

[sailor-opy]

Santiago Cabrera as Aramis in The Musketeers (x9)

[sailor-opy]

Movies I saw in 2017

So, I thought it would be fun to list all the movies I went to see to a movie theatre last year and maybe say a few words about them. In total I saw 24 movies last year, and when you read the list, you’ll see that I have quite a varied taste in movies.

January

1.      Collateral beauty

This movie actually premiered already in the end of 2016, but I had time to go see it in the beginning of 2017. I remember that it was quite a beautiful movie, and the story wasn’t what I was expecting. I thought that it would be more about how Will Smith’s character interacts with Love, Death and Time, but actually it’s more about his friends interacting with them.

February

2.      Vaiana (originally Moana)

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I wasn’t that thrilled about Vaiana, though maybe I would warm up to it after watching it a few times. I’m not saying that it’s a bad movie, not at all, but personally, I just wasn’t that into it.

March

3.      Hidden figures

This was a thought-provoking movie. To me, it seemed incomprehensible how difficult white people made black people’s lives. And for seemingly no reason. But it was nice to see them succeed and knowing that it was based on true story made it even more amazing.

April

4.      Beauty and the Beast

Again, I wasn’t so thrill about this movie. I think I liked the live-action version of Cinderella more. But still it is a nice and funny movie with some amazing songs.

5.      Your name

This is absolutely one of my favourite movies in 2017. It was so beautiful and surpricing, and I’m totally speechless!

May

6.      Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge

I think this movie is better than the previous Pirates of the Caribbean movie. One thing that made this movie special to me was that I don’t really go to movie premieres, but this time my holiday was just starting and I decided to celebrate it by going to this premiere here where i live. It wasn’t any special event, just a first screening of the movie here, but it was still nice.

June

7.      Everything, Everything

This movie managed to have the ending I was expecting and still surprise me with it at the same time.

8.      Wonder woman

I liked that the fight scenes weren’t overly bloody, because that’s what I usually dislike in action or war movies. Otherwise I don’t think I have much to say about this movie.

July

9.      Despicable me 3

This movie I went to see with a friend. It is a funny movie. Minions were great! I don’t have much else to say.

10.   The Circle

When I went to see this movie, I was the only one in a movie theatre for 100 people! This movie really made me think a lot. I don’t necessarily agree with the main character about making every bit of our lives public, and I didn’t really understood what exactly was the secret her boss was hiding, but I think it’s a good thing if a movie makes me think.

August

11.   Valerian and the City of Thousand Planets

I don’t have a lot to say about this movie. I didn’t think it was an amazing film, but it wasn’t totally bad either. But it was an ok action movie, and they are nice to watch sometimes.

12.   Spider man: Homecoming

My friend really liked this movie. Also, my favourite Avenger is Iron man, and I knew he was in this movie, so I decided to go and see this. I didn’t see Iron man as much as I would have liked (I think Peter Parker thought the same), but I think this movie was funny and better than some other Marvel movies that have come out in recent years.

13.   Cars 3

I draw plank with this movie. I remember its story, but I can’t remember if I thought it was funny, or how I felt about it afterwards.

September

14.   The Beguiled

I was somewhat conflicted about whether I go to see this movie or. On the other hand, I can’t stand horror movies or very gory movies, and by its trailer I thought that this could be like that. On the other hand I was really fascinated about its story and what was going to happen. IN the end, I decided to go to see it, and it wasn’t as scary and gory as I was afraid it could be, but it definitely wasn’t a happy movie. But that’s ok, because I was expecting that. What surprised me before the movie started was, that the audience was mainly middle aged women. As I was expecting to see some kind of mild horror movie, I didn’t think that they would be the main audience group.

15.   Tulip Fever

As I wrote in this blog after seeing this movie, I really liked this. I think it was beautiful and the story didn’t rely on some easily fixed misunderstandings.

October

16.  The Big sick

I really liked this movie. It felt so realistic, which it probably was too, because it was based on a true story. It also felt “small” somehow, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. More like that it was realistic (as I said already), and not so shiny and over the top like many big budget romantic comedies are.

17.   Victoria & Abdul

I have written here about my thought about this movie also, but during this year, I’ve realised how interesting it is to see movies and tv shows based on true stories. If they follow the real story really closely, they are often not clichéd and predictable.

18.   My Little Pony the movie

This movie was exactly what I expected it to be. It was hilarious and happy. Sometimes it was obvious that it was based on a tv show that I hadn’t seen, because it didn’t really introduce the characters and their back stories, as it was expected that the audience knows them already. Some of the ponies in the main group seemed to be a bit unnecessary since they didn’t really have a meaning for the story, but they probably had to be there since I guess they were part of the main group in the tv show too.

19.   Yösyöttö

This is a Finnish comedy about a man, whose wife leaves him right after the birth of their son, because she realises that she really can’t be a mom. The movie then follows the man as he tries to adapt to his life as a single father of a new born. I don’t really like Finnish movies that often, because usually they are so depressing and sad, or then people swear a lot in them, but I think this was ok.

November

20.   Thor: Ragnarök

My friend really loved this movie. For me, it was a bit too sci-fi. I like the previous Thor-movies (or at least the first one, I think I might not have seen the second one) more because they happened mostly on Earth, but this one was situated almost entirely on a planet in other dimension(?) or something.

December

21.   Murder on the Orient Express

I didn’t really like this movie’s portrayal of Hercule Poirot. He seemed somehow OCD, and that’s not how I see him. The role of Johnny Depp was smaller than I expected. Well, I mean, that yes, his character was important for the story, but he had less screen time than I was expecting.

22.   Star Wars: The Last Jedi

I’m not a big Star Wars fan, but there was so much hype around the first one of these new films that I thought that I should probably go see that. That’s kind of the reason I went to see this one too. In the last movie, when Han died, I thought that Luke and Leia are probably going to die in these following movies. It seems that I was right.

23.   Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

This movie was one of my favourites last year! I’m going to write about this more in detail in a post of its own, but I try to summarise my thoughts here. It is quite perfect combination of humour and action and the action scenes aren’t too violent or gory for my taste. Jack Black performance was hilarious!

24.   Ballerina

I’ve seen many negative reviews about this movie, and I don’t really understand why. I didn’t think it was that bad. Obviously it had some unrealistic bits, but come on, what movie doesn’t have those? Especially if it’s aimed at children. The only thing that I would have liked is that I would have liked to know more about why Camille’s mother wanted her daughter to become a ballerina. Why not something else?

Well, here they are, all 24 movies I saw last year, and some of my thoughts about them. I don’t know if this is actually interesting to anyone but me, but here it is anyway.

[sailor-opy]

Hello! I kind of disappeared from there for a while. Sorry about that… I just had so many things to do in the end of last year, that something had to give, and I thought that since my blogs really don’t have any deadlines, they were the best option. I still saw many movies and some tv shows too that I’d like to write about, and of course, there are many new movies coming this year to write about!

[sailor-opy]

Learning about British royalty through tv and movies

This year I have watched two tv-shows about British royals. I’m sure you all know the shows: The Crown and Victoria. Last week I continued the trend and went to see the movie Victoria & Abdul. I think it was and interesting movie, and even more interesting it became, when I thought that it was based on true events.

It was clear to me that in the movie, people around queen Victoria criticised her behaviour and Abdul’s position in the palace, because of racist thoughts and desire to gain power. But I can just as easily see, why some one could be sincerely conserned about queen’s mental healt and sanity. Seemingly out of nowhere this old lady takes a sudden interest on this random servant and his home country, and even gives him a high status in court and believes pretty much everything he says. Who’s to say that he isn’t taking advantege of her? I would probably get a bit worried and suspicious, if someone close to me would start to behave like this.

I think Abdul had an interesting character development during the movie. At first he seemed naïve and almost stupid, being so excited and interested about everything. (Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think being excited and interested about things is a bad thing, because I too, am interested and overly excited about many things.) But when he was made Victoria’s teacher (”munchi”), it seemed to get into his head a bit. He started to wear fancier clothes and got several servants. He also started to become cocky and maybe even a bit arrogant. After Victoria threatened to send him and his family back to India, he became more modest and less cocky again.  

One thing that I don’t understand was, that why did the other Indian man, I think his name was Mohammed, had to stay in England too. He didn’t want to be there and the climate was making him sick. I think Adbul at least should have asked the queen to allow him to return to India. A funny thing was, that Adeel Akhtar, who played Mohammad, was also in the movie The Big Sick, which I saw a week earlier.

It was difficult to get a sense of how much time passed during the movie. Apparently it took place during about three years, but it could have been less than a year if you would have asked me right after the movie. Obviously, if I had been more aware of historical events, like when queen Victoria died, I would have been able to better understand the passae of time. Also the fact that Abdul went to India and back during the movie should have told me that quite a lot of time passed.

All in all, I think the movie was interesting and in many places quite fun to watch. Maybe I should continue the trend by watching King’s speech next? ;)

[sailor-opy]

The Big Sick - a realistic portrayal of love

This month is a real movie month for me. Normally I try to go to see a movie at least once a month, but this October it’s more like once a week!

On October 4th I went to see The Big Sick and I liked the movie very much. In some ways, it reminded me of the movie ”My Big Fat Greek Wedding. One thing that I really liked was that portrayal of love in this movie seemed realistic. It was the small things, like Kumail and Emily sitting on the couch together doing their own things, that made me swoon.

In a way this movie felt like a ”small movie” to me. By this I mean that often in romantic movies, especially in romantic comedies, everything is over the top. The main characters do these big romantic gestures, that no one really does in real life, misunderstandings grow into epic proportions, even though they could usually be solved pretty easily by talking, and the character get into these horribly embarrasing situations. In this movie, everything seemed to be more down to earth and realistic. Well, everything except Kumail’s wife candidates his moher arranged for him.

For some reason I find it hard to say anything about the characters. Since the movie is based on a true story and real people, who are still alive, I find it disrespectful to comment on them.  Even saying something positive about them makes me feel like I’m objectifying them. I don’t have this problem with fictional characters though. I can go on and on about how cute, hot, lovely or funny some made up person is, even if they would be played by a real people. My brain is weird…

I don’t have much more to say about this movie. It was a lovely movie with funny and cute moments. I just wish that Kumail’s parents would have met Emily in the end.

[sailor-opy]

Tulip Fever left me speechless.

Tulip Fever premiered here in Finland last Friday, and I went to see it on Sunday. After the movie, my thought were: ”I don’t know what to say about this movie, but I definitely liked it!” The movie is based on a book, and sometimes I felt that the characters’ motives and background for events have probably been explained more clearly in the book, but it didn’t realli bother me during the movie.

I have seen some revews of the movie and it hasn’t got very good ratings. One thing that surprised me in the reviews was, that the movie was described as a love story. I never really thought that Sophie and Jan were in love. Their relationship seemed to start so quickly and suddenly, and I thought it was more lust and infatuation than love, especially considering how abruptly Sophie just ends it.

I liked how no one was made to be a villain or an obvious bad guy. I feel that in many movies with a similar setting, the main character’s husband is made to be this horrible person. In this movie, Mr. Sandvoort according to his own words, ”bought Sophie like a beautiful object”, but he treated Sophie so well and really cared for her. And yes, Sophie did wrong when she started an affair behind his husbands back, but I kind of understand her. She kind of had to marry Mr. Sandvoort, and she didnät seem happy in her reationship, even though she was treated well. At that time divorce wasn’t an option so what could she do?

Dr Sorgh was clearly written as a comedic character. What I liked about him is taht he wasn’t just a joke, but he had also real, serious moments and he really moved the plot forward in his own way.

I also liked about the fact that the main misunderstanding that sets everything in motion in the movie (Willem mistaking Sophia for Maria and thus thinking that Maria is cheating on him), is understandable. I feel that in many movies misunderstandings between characters could be easily corrected if they would just talk to each other. Obviously in this movie too, if Sophie had stopped and explained to Willem that she wasn’t Maria, everything would have been alright, but I think she didn’t even realise Willem was after her. The street was busy so she might not even heard him, and even if she did hear him, she mght not realise that he was calling her. Maria was sleeping so she didn’t know what was happening, and why on earth would Willem had returned to the Sandvoort’s house when he thought that his girlfriend was cheating on him? So he ends up drowning his sorrows with alcohol, getting into fight and sent to a ship for a year.

One question I realised only few days after watching the movie: who was the woman Mr. Sandvoort went to meet? She was mentioned a couple of times, but it was never explained.

[sailor-opy]

After a lot of debating, I went to see The Beguiled last weekend

I went to see The Beguiled last weekend. It premiered here in Finland on Friday, but there were only a handful of people watching the movie in the cinema.

Based on the trailer I thought that the movie could be some kind of horror story, and because of that, I debated a long time with me before deciding to go to see it. I was really interested in the story, but I generally don’t like horror stories or scary movies, so I thought I mght not like the movie. Movie reviews didn’t help me either, because they were really vague and didn’t really give me any impression about what kind of movie it was. But when I saw that it was only K12 (not recommended for children under 12), I decided it can’t be THAT scary.

Since I thought the movie was a kind of a horror movie, I was surpriced to notce that besides me, everyone else in the audience seemed to be middle aged women. I realised that I didn’t have a clue about what the intended audience of the movie was, but this wasn’t it. Not that there was anything wrong about the audience, I was just surpriced.

I didn’t really understand, why almost every woman in the school fell immediately in love with John. Was it that he was somehow exceptionally handsome? If that was the case I wish they would have made it more clear: maybe some of the girls could have been talking about how handsome he is while doing their chores. Or was it that snce there weren’t any other men around, all of their interest were focused on John?

Edwina’s behaviour in the end of the movie seemed strange to me. I never really believed it when John told Edwna that he loved her, but I think Edwina might have loved him or at least had a crush on him. So why wasn’t she more angry at Martha and the students for poisoning John? Or was she in the end also afraid of John and was relieved that he died?

I think The Beguiled is a captivating movie. It’s quite slowpaced and definitely not a happy movie, but I think it’s worth a watch. One think that I really paid attention to was the beautiful dresses the students and their teachers had.

[sailor-opy]

I think this is beautiful.

lyatt + progression     → requested in this post by @officerparker​ and @child-of-the-candy​

[sailor-opy]

I didn’t notice this!

Timeless Fun Fact

The date in time that the team will travel to during each episode is displayed as the first set of numbers on the Flip Clock in the opening credits where the word TIMELESS eventually appears. 

(I’m in love with this show)

[sailor-opy]

Timeless - travelling through history

I finished Timeless season 1 last weekend. I think it’s an entertaining show, even though it isn’t as captivating as some of the other shows I’ve watched recently. I especially liked that all the characters spoke he language they were supposed to speak. I mean, that French characters spoke french, Spanish characters spoke spanish etc. Also, popular culture references they used in the past were hilarious!

I didn’t pay too much attention to the logic behind time travel. My personal view on time travel is that you can’t change the past, because if you travel to the past, you were there and part of the events when the past was present (does this make any sense?), and so, you're supposed to do everything you do. Your actions are already part of the history. I think that this intepretation rises some interesting questions about free will (is it free will, if you know already what you’re going to do, and can’t change it?), but that is a theme for another post.

I think the show was written so, that Lucy and Wyatt are supposed to end up together at some point of the show. Though, at some points I also thought that Lucy and Garcia Flynn would end up together. But during this first season, both men were so focused on getting their murdered families back that it obviously wasn’t going to happend yet during this season.

The thing with Lucy’s parents left me with full of questions. At first I thought that Lucy’s father either didn’t know about Lucy or wasn’t interested in being in her life. But then, we learn that he actually knows about Lucy, has known since the day she was born, and have been following her life from afar. Why? Why couldn’t he be part of Lucy’s life? Was it because Lucy’s mother didn’t want him in their lives? At first I thought so…

Why was Lucy’s mom so reluctant to speak about Lucy’s father? At first I thought that this was because they hadn’t ended their relationship in good terms, but then it was revealed that she was part of Rittenhouse too, and apparently shared their values. So, since they belonged to the same organisation, and she didn’t seem to think that he was a bad man for doing what he did for them, so it just doesn’t make sense to me that she behaved like she didn’t want to have anything to do with him. And to whom did Lucy’s father call the first time Lucy went to his house? Was it to Lucy’s mother?!

I felt like I never understood Rittenhouse’s motives for their actions. I get that they wanted to change history to become more powerful and rule the world, but that alone seemed too vague for me. First of all, to me Rittenhouse seemed pretty influencial already. And they acted like Rittenhouse was going to do something totally horrible, but simply changing the past couldn’t be all, because they had already changed the past several times themselves, even though they tried to avoid it.

I was a bit disappointed about how they defeated Rittenhouse in the end. It seemed an anticlimax after all that they had done. Obviously everything didn’t go as planned in the end, but to me their plan was so boring. But I’m eager to see what’s going to happend in the second season. It seems to me like there are actually two story lines to follow: taking down Rittenhouse, and then what’s happening with Jiya. It will be interesting to see, how they are going to tie them together to make coherent and compact story for season two.

[sailor-opy]

Well, that's quite an unforgettable first meeting!

When Athos met d’Artagnan.