shotsofyellowpaint

[shotsofyellowpaint]

I’m so fucking stupid how could I ever believe that I could have a normal life

[shotsofyellowpaint]

15.11.2020 // 11:54 pm

It was stupid of me to delude myself with fantasies of a life with you

[shotsofyellowpaint]

15.11.2020 // 11:12 pm

The pain is always there, the words you’ve said and the nights we’ve spent together I have tried everything to erase them from my head and it worked because I have nothing but threads of memories when it comes to you but my heart still aches at your name because the one thing I could never forget was the feeling that I had when I was with you the way my thoughts stopped pressing against my skull because I thought you were finally the person I had been waiting to meet

[shotsofyellowpaint]

[shotsofyellowpaint]

Trigger Warning

Ever look down at your scars and, even though you may be in a stable point in your life, you just want to cut again because you miss the feeling? 

[shotsofyellowpaint]

[shotsofyellowpaint]

when i cut myself I like to think I’m cutting out the parts of me that i hate so the rest of me can bleed out 

[shotsofyellowpaint]

Keeping busy so I won’t have to think about how fucking sad I am

[shotsofyellowpaint]

I have never really known addiction until I fell in love with hurting myself

[shotsofyellowpaint]

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt1U3dDnwYs/

[shotsofyellowpaint]

14.2.2019 | 4:36

It’s Valentine’s Day and you’re asking to see me

Who are you looking for?

The girl you knew isn’t here

She’s scrubbed her skin raw to remove any traces of you

Scraping away whispers under the blanket and hands against my thigh

Yet I still seem to find traces clutching to the threads of my sweaters

- Haven’t you hurt me enough?

[shotsofyellowpaint]

https://instagram.com/p/Bthx5UAov4L/

[shotsofyellowpaint]

Why can’t I recognize the person I was six months ago?

- what in me has changed?

[shotsofyellowpaint]

My back’s against the wall and I’m trying to fucking breathe.

[shotsofyellowpaint]

“Sometimes you’ll come across in my memories and I wonder if we could still be possible, but I raise my hand to open the door to my heart and see the scars on my wrists.”

— tara love / you broke me and I have not yet healed

[shotsofyellowpaint]

Do you ever get in one of those moods where you’re like feeling okay but you’re really sad at the same time and you just want to talk to someone and make them hug you but you feel annoying so you kind of just sit there being really sad..

[shotsofyellowpaint]

“i miss how my life used to be. i want to get pieces of my past back, but i also cannot wait to run into my future. what an awful thing it is to miss out on today while worrying about many yesterdays and tomorrows.”

— a regretful way to live life.