sillylotrpolls

[sillylotrpolls]

Seeing the Gollum AU drawings come around, I felt compelled to report in that I actually wrote a fic for a Daemon AU after chewing on the drywall over the concept for a few months 😂

https://www.tumblr.com/thebeckster/780107418274316288/we-are-lost-we-can-never-go-home?source=share

Congratulations and condolences! :D

For would-be readers, here's a clickable link directly to the story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64482997

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These are delightful!!!

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23.5% + 7% of you really went right for my throat here, didn't you? :(

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Yeah, okay, I can see it.

And a few fun comments from the notes:

#the first fanfic i ever wrote was gollum inviting smeagol to a tea party#it was completely cracky and insane#i was like eleven .#so coffee shop is my vote @lolotr

#any love show is great#he's got so much potential for obsessive love @thedaughterofkings

#oh man i would LOVE to let gollum loose on a reality tv competition#something like 'survivor' or something where he can go ABSOLUTELY FERAL in all the physical contests#as well as having him in the confessional shit-talking his teammates and opponents as gollum#before talking much nicer about them as smeagol on top of all the backstabbing (possibly literally) @hobbitmajora

#what would Gollum's deamon be? would she change as his possession of the One Ring changed him too?#would she remain the same. the fragment of Gollum who cannot forget what they once were?#if she is not changed physically does she change internally in the saw way Gollum does#how long until she forgets their names too? does she ever?#does the One Ring corrupt her?#does it kill her?#because she is physically separated from Gollum does she age and die at the rate Smeagol would have with a natural lifespan?#does having the ring sever Gollum and his deamon?#is she there the whole time watching her beloved other half turn into something she no longer recognizes#but she can't leave because he is her too and she loves him#and she can't leave him alone in the darkness beneath the mountains#and sometimes he remembers her and sings her fishing songs and she'll tell him stories of their times in the sun#is she the remaining part of Golumn that loves him when he so very much hates himself#idk what her original name was but for a couple thousand years she's just been 'Precious'#chewing on the drywall @beck-a-leck

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I'm both unsurprised and surprised at the winner here. Unsuprised because of course "never read the Silm" was always going to win. However, I am surprised it only got as high as 32.5%. If you extrapolated that data without regard to the self-selection bias inherent to silly tumblr LotR polls, it would mean that in a group of 100 people, 68 would be able to correctly identify at least three times Fëanor looked hubris in the eye and said "bet."

Interestingly, in a previous poll about why people haven't read the Silmarillion, "I've read it" got 30.4%. This suggests that there is a certain number of people who will skip voting in any poll that doesn't apply to them even if given an explicit button to click. However, it also suggests that it's still a good idea to have that button, because in each poll that option got over 1,000 votes.

In second place (and therefore first place for people who did/will read the Silm) is "I liked the movies" (16.7%). This makes perfect sense; LotR fandom exploded in 2001 when we all first got a look at Elijah Wood's baby blue eyes. Right behind it, however, is "I enjoy reading mythology and histories" with 15.4%. And you know what? This is probably the best reason to read the Silm; you've got all the context for why it's written in the way it is and can appreciate both Tolkien's references and where he was truly original. I salute you, myth-lovers.

Then, in fourth ("third") is probably the highest placing yet for the "other" option (14.8%). And unlike every other poll where I include "other," this time y'all really did go into detail in the notes. <3 Related question: why were so many of you 11 when you first tried to read Tolkien?

A few other miscellaneous observations:

Some of you really, really want to be clear that you read the books BEFORE you saw the movies.

Although there were a lot of stories about how y'all first encountered the Sillmarillion and took it into your hearts, most of you preferred to use a dozen+ tags to tell the story instead of writing a comment. As a LiveJournal veteran, this preference continues to puzzle me.

Apparently "Found it at the library..." was confusing. This option was meant to imply "I read the Silm first, you mean there's a sequel called Lord of the Rings all about Mairon/Sauron?!" but I had trouble with the 80-character limit.

"Fanart appreciation" (4.4%) beat out "bullied by friends" (1.6%) almost 3:1, illustrating that it's easier to motivate people with treats than shame.

No one ever gets the lion joke. :(

[sillylotrpolls]

The hobbits use metal for a wide variety of things, including tea kettles and plows. Are there mines in the Shire, or are they importing metal/metal items from somewhere?

Valentine's Day approaches and hearts and polls turn once again to that age-old conflict: shipping wars.

*Better known as trade wars when one is not making a joke.

Tariffs are a tax collected when goods are shipped from one country/taxable region to another, paid by the importer. If you aren't shipping anything, you don't need to pay any tariffs, but the "wars" will still affect you as long as you consume any goods that you didn't make from materials harvested entirely by yourself.

From Wikipedia:

A trade war is an economic conflict often resulting from extreme protectionism in which states raise or create tariffs or other trade barriers against each other in response to trade barriers created by the other party. If tariffs are the exclusive mechanism, then such conflicts are known as customs wars, toll wars, or tariff wars; as a reprisal, the latter state may also increase the tariffs.

Last year's ship wars poll can be found here.

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Ship names used to be creative and fun, not just the boring portmanteaus you see nowadays littering @fandom. Let's bring that energy back for Valentine's Day 2025 and consider once again the most popular pairing from Tolkien's legendarium.

Extra credit: Gandalf says, "Long I fell, and he fell with me." Would you therefore consider their relationship a "slow burn"?

For additional context, excerpts from The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers are below the cut.

From The Fellowship of the Ring: Chapter 5: The Bridge of Khazad-dûm

Legolas turned and set an arrow to the string, though it was a long shot for his small bow. He drew, but his hand fell, and the arrow slipped to the ground. He gave a cry of dismay and fear. Two great trolls appeared; they bore great slabs of stone, and flung them down to serve as gangways over the fire. But it was not the trolls that had filled the Elf with terror. The ranks of the orcs had opened, and they crowded away, as if they themselves were afraid. Something was coming up behind them. What it was could not be seen: it was like a great shadow, in the middle of which was a dark form, of man-shape maybe, yet greater; and a power and terror seemed to be in it and to go before it. It came to the edge of the fire and the light faded as if a cloud had bent over it. Then with a rush it leaped across the fissure. The flames roared up to greet it, and wreathed about it; and a black smoke swirled in the air. Its streaming mane kindled, and blazed behind it. In its right hand was a blade like a stabbing tongue of fire; in its left it held a whip of many thongs. 'Ai! ai! ' wailed Legolas. 'A Balrog! A Balrog is come!' Gimli stared with wide eyes. Durin's Bane!' he cried, and letting his axe fall he covered his face. 'A Balrog,' muttered Gandalf. Now I understand.' He faltered and leaned heavily on his staff. What an evil fortune! And I am already weary.' The dark figure streaming with fire raced towards them. The orcs yelled and poured over the stone gangways. Then Boromir raised his horn and blew. Loud the challenge rang and bellowed, like the shout of many throats under the cavernous roof. For a moment the orcs quailed and the fiery shadow halted. Then the echoes died as suddenly as a flame blown out by a dark wind, and the enemy advanced again. 'Over the bridge!' cried Gandalf, recalling his strength. Fly! This is a foe beyond any of you. I must hold the narrow way. Fly!' Aragorn and Boromir did not heed the command, but still held their ground, side by side, behind Gandalf at the far end of the bridge. The others halted just within the doorway at the hall's end, and turned, unable to leave their leader to face the enemy alone. The Balrog reached the bridge. Gandalf stood in the middle of the span, leaning on the staff in his left hand, but in his other hand Glamdring gleamed, cold and white. His enemy halted again, facing him, and the shadow about it reached out like two vast wings. It raised the whip, and the thongs whined and cracked. Fire came from its nostrils. But Gandalf stood firm. 'You cannot pass,' he said. The orcs stood still, and a dead silence fell. 'I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn. Go back to the Shadow! You cannot pass.' The Balrog made no answer. The fire in it seemed to die, but the darkness grew. It stepped forward slowly on to the bridge, and suddenly it drew itself up to a great height, and its wings were spread from wall to wall; but still Gandalf could be seen, glimmering in the gloom; he seemed small, and altogether alone: grey and bent, like a wizened tree before the onset of a storm.

From out of the shadow a red sword leaped flaming. Glamdring glittered white in answer. There was a ringing clash and a stab of white fire. The Balrog fell back and its sword flew up in molten fragments. The wizard swayed on the bridge, stepped back a pace, and then again stood still. 'You cannot pass!' he said. With a bound the Balrog leaped full upon the bridge. Its whip whirled and hissed. 'He cannot stand alone!' cried Aragorn suddenly and ran back along the bridge. 'Elendil!' he shouted. 'I am with you, Gandalf!' `Gondor!' cried Boromir and leaped after him. At that moment Gandalf lifted his staff, and crying aloud he smote the bridge before him. The staff broke asunder and fell from his hand. A blinding sheet of white flame sprang up. The bridge cracked. Right at the Balrog's feet it broke, and the stone upon which it stood crashed into the gulf, while the rest remained, poised, quivering like a tongue of rock thrust out into emptiness. With a terrible cry the Balrog fell forward, and its shadow plunged down and vanished. But even as it fell it swung its whip, and the thongs lashed and curled about the wizard's knees, dragging him to the brink. He staggered and fell, grasped vainly at the stone, and slid into the abyss. 'Fly, you fools!' he cried, and was gone.

From The Two Towers: Chapter 5: The White Rider

'Yes, together we will follow you,' said Legolas. 'But first, it would ease my heart, Gandalf, to hear what befell you in Moria. Will you not tell us? Can you not stay even to tell your friends how you were delivered?' 'I have stayed already too long,' answered Gandalf. 'Time is short. But if there were a year to spend, I would not tell you all.' 'Then tell us what you will, and time allows!' said Gimli. 'Come, Gandalf, tell us how you fared with the Balrog!' 'Name him not!' said Gandalf, and for a moment it seemed that a cloud of pain passed over his face, and he sat silent, looking old as death. 'Long time I fell,' he said at last, slowly, as if thinking back with difficulty. 'Long I fell, and he fell with me. His fire was about me. I was burned. Then we plunged into the deep water and all was dark. Cold it was as the tide of death: almost it froze my heart.' 'Deep is the abyss that is spanned by Durin's Bridge, and none has measured it,' said Gimli. 'Yet it has a bottom, beyond light and knowledge,' said Gandalf. 'Thither I came at last, to the uttermost foundations of stone. He was with me still. His fire was quenched, but now he was a thing of slime, stronger than a strangling snake. 'We fought far under the living earth, where time is not counted. Ever he clutched me, and ever I hewed him, till at last he fled into dark tunnels. They were not made by Durin's folk, Gimli son of Glóin. Far, far below the deepest delving of the Dwarves, the world is gnawed by nameless things. Even Sauron knows them not. They are older than he. Now I have walked there, but I will bring no report to darken the light of day. In that despair my enemy was my only hope, and I pursued him, clutching at his heel. Thus he brought me back at last to the secret ways of Khazad-dûm: too well he knew them all. Ever up now we went, until we came to the Endless Stair.' 'Long has that been lost,' said Gimli. 'Many have said that it was never made save in legend, but others say that it was destroyed.' 'It was made, and it had not been destroyed,' said Gandalf. 'From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak it climbed. ascending in unbroken spiral in many thousand steps, until it issued at last in Durin's Tower carved in the living rock of Zirak-zigil, the pinnacle of the Silvertine. 'There upon Celebdil was a lonely window in the snow, and before it lay a narrow space, a dizzy eyrie above the mists of the world. The sun shone fiercely there, but all below was wrapped in cloud. Out he sprang, and even as I came behind, he burst into new flame. There was none to see, or perhaps in after ages songs would still be sung of the Battle of the Peak.' Suddenly Gandalf laughed. 'But what would they say in song? Those that looked up from afar thought that the mountain was crowned with storm. Thunder they heard, and lightning, they said, smote upon Celebdil, and leaped back broken into tongues of fire. Is not that enough? A great smoke rose about us, vapour and steam. Ice fell like rain. I threw down my enemy, and he fell from the high place and broke the mountain-side where he smote it in his ruin. Then darkness took me; and I strayed out of thought and time, and I wandered far on roads that I will not tell. 'Naked I was sent back – for a brief time, until my task is done. And naked I lay upon the mountain-top. The tower behind was crumbled into dust, the window gone; the ruined stair was choked with burned and broken stone. I was alone, forgotten, without escape upon the hard horn of the world. There I lay staring upward, while the stars wheeled over, and each day was as long as a life-age of the earth. Faint to my ears came the gathered rumour of all lands: the springing and the dying, the song and the weeping, and the slow everlasting groan of overburdened stone. And so at the last Gwaihir the Windlord found me again, and he took me up and bore me away.

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This has actually happened to the dwarves three times already, but no one noticed because while elves are all different, dwarves are all the same.

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Valentine's Day approaches and hearts and polls turn once again to that age-old conflict: shipping wars.

*Better known as trade wars when one is not making a joke.

Tariffs are a tax collected when goods are shipped from one country/taxable region to another, paid by the importer. If you aren't shipping anything, you don't need to pay any tariffs, but the "wars" will still affect you as long as you consume any goods that you didn't make from materials harvested entirely by yourself.

From Wikipedia:

A trade war is an economic conflict often resulting from extreme protectionism in which states raise or create tariffs or other trade barriers against each other in response to trade barriers created by the other party. If tariffs are the exclusive mechanism, then such conflicts are known as customs wars, toll wars, or tariff wars; as a reprisal, the latter state may also increase the tariffs.

Last year's ship wars poll can be found here.

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Y'all really impressed on that one scene from Shrek 2, didn't you?

Not much to analyze here, but some relevant videos showing how these songs could have been seamlessly integrated into Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh's movies are below the cut.

There are So. Many. AMVS on youtube for The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings set to "I Need a Hero. After watching way too many versions, this is the one I liked best:

For "Tubthumping," there wasn't much for The Hobbit specifically, but we do have this video devoted to Frodo's many pratfalls:

And while "TiK ToK" is really more of a Star Trek song, I think you'll all agree this LotR take is quite excellent:

ETA: The Hobbit. That trilogy. The one with Legolas's dad and the BBC Sherlock actors.

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Didn't expect this one to have such a clear winner that wasn't "Gandalf is Pippin's granddad" (12.7%), but apparently the power of pipeweed is just that strong. Even if you add the votes for all three "non-hobbit ancestor" options it's still only 23%; not within even a statistical margin of error of "pipeweed's" 28.3%. (As a reminder, perfectly even distribution would result in 8.33% for each option.)

I was also surprised that "his name means 'old man'" placed third (10.8%), but then again, Tolkien fans do love their linguistics. And interestingly, "he borrowed the One Ring" and "he had a lesser magic ring" had very distant 11th- and 12th-place finishes, with only 0.9% and 0.7% of the vote respectively.

Other than that, not much to say beyond that I hope we see more fanfiction plumbing this clearly deep well of ideas.

(Credit and a truly absurd amount of context below the poll in case you don't know who the Old Took is.)

Today's poll looks at a question posed by @sindar-princeling:

Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

In the notes on that post, the most popular theory by far was espoused by @mitsuhachiinthehive, who posited that Gandalf hooked up with a hobbit at some point and [some of] the Tooks are his descendants. This idea was further spread thanks to @the-haiku-bot.

Additional theories which I cribbed for poll options:

The diamond cufflinks were magical in more ways than one @elodieunderglass

He drank an ent-draught courtesy of the missing ent wives @betterofflost

He got hold of a random magic elven ring @morgulscribe

If you would like some a lot of context from canon so you can decide for yourself, more information about the Old Took is beneath the cut.

First off, it's established multiple times in the books what a big deal it was for Bilbo to beat Old Took's record. From The Return of the King:

He opened his eyes and looked up as they came in. 'Hullo, hullo!' he said. 'So you've come back? And tomorrow's my birthday, too. How clever of you! Do you know, I shall be one hundred and twenty-nine? And in one year more, if I am spared, I shall equal the Old Took. I should like to beat him; but we shall see.' [...] Little Elanor was nearly six months old, and 1421 had passed to its autumn, when Frodo called Sam into the study. 'It will be Bilbo's Birthday on Thursday, Sam,' he said. 'And he will pass the Old Took. He will be a hundred and thirty-one!' 'So he will!' said Sam. 'He's a marvel!'

Here's a biography on the old hobbit from Tolkien Gateway:

After the death of his father in 1248, Gerontius became the twenty-sixth Thain of the Shire. He was a friend of Gandalf, who gave him a pair of magic diamond studs and performed firework tricks during Gerontius' midsummer-eve parties. Gerontius Took reached the impressive age of 130, which made him the oldest Hobbit until his grandson Bilbo Baggins celebrated his 131st Birthday. He also held the record of most offspring, until Samwise Gamgee bested him with Tom's birth in S.R. 1442.

And from Tolkien Gateway's page on the Took Family:

Tooks were mainly of Fallohide Hobbit stock, and had quite a reputation for unusual behavior (among other things being more adventurous than the other Hobbits), a quality not valued in the Shire. For this they would be seen as less respectable, but those traits were "tolerated" thanks to their large numbers and wealth. An absurd legend among other families, was that one of the Took ancestors married a fairy. The Wizard Gandalf was a known, if disreputable, associate.

Here we have Gandalf introducing himself to Bilbo in The Hobbit. Note that Belladonna Took is one of the Old Took's 12 (!!) children.

“Yes, yes, my dear sir—and I do know your name, Mr. Bilbo Baggins. And you do know my name, though you don’t remember that I belong to it. I am Gandalf, and Gandalf means me! To think that I should have lived to be good-morninged by Belladonna Took’s son, as if I was selling buttons at the door!” “Gandalf, Gandalf! Good gracious me! Not the wandering wizard that gave Old Took a pair of magic diamond studs that fastened themselves and never came undone till ordered? Not the fellow who used to tell such wonderful tales at parties, about dragons and goblins and giants and the rescue of princesses and the unexpected luck of widows’ sons? Not the man that used to make such particularly excellent fireworks! I remember those! Old Took used to have them on Midsummer’s Eve. Splendid! They used to go up like great lilies and snapdragons and laburnums of fire and hang in the twilight all evening!” You will notice already that Mr. Baggins was not quite so prosy as he liked to believe, also that he was very fond of flowers. “Dear me!” he went on. “Not the Gandalf who was responsible for so many quiet lads and lasses going off into the Blue for mad adventures? Anything from climbing trees to visiting elves—or sailing in ships, sailing to other shores! Bless me, life used to be quite inter—I mean, you used to upset things badly in these parts once upon a time. I beg your pardon, but I had no idea you were still in business.” “Where else should I be?” said the wizard. “All the same I am pleased to find you remember something about me. You seem to remember my fireworks kindly, at any rate, and that is not without hope. Indeed for your old grandfather Took’s sake, and for the sake of poor Belladonna, I will give you what you asked for.”

And for context, Sam was 102 when he sailed West, Merry was at least 103 and almost certainly older when he died, and Pippin at least 95. The uncertainty is because Tolkien describes their last years thus in the Appendices:

1484 In the spring of the year a message came from Rohan to Buckland that King Éomer wished to see Master Holdwine once again. Meriadoc was then old (102) but still hale. He took counsel with his friend the Thain [Pippin], and soon after they handed over their goods and offices to their sons and rode away over the Sam Ford, and they were not seen again in the Shire. It was heard after that Master Meriadoc came to Edoras and was with King Éomer before he died in that autumn. Then he and Thain Peregrin went to Gondor and passed what short years were left to them in that realm, until they died and were laid in Rath Dínen among the great of Gondor. 1541 In this year on March 1st came at last the Passing of King Elessar. It is said that the beds of Meriadoc and Peregrin were set beside the bed of the great king. Then Legolas built a grey ship in Ithilien, and sailed down Anduin and so over Sea; and with him, it is said, went Gimli the Dwarf. And when that ship passed an end was come in the Middle-earth of the Fellowship of the Ring.

[sillylotrpolls]

(Context/credit below poll)

Today's poll comes from a very serious question asked by Gail Simone on Bluesky. All options taken from replies to her question with only light paraphrasing to fit the format. I'll put links to the original... ::checks notes:: "skeets"? That can't be right... in the eventual results post.

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Results

Someone let Tolkien know his instincts were right on: when he was debating names for the second installment of his trilogy, he considered "The Treason of Isengard" before ultimately deciding that it wasn't relevant to Sam and Frodo's journey and so shouldn't be the full title. It did, however, get used as the title for the first half of the book.

I'm not sure how many people voting for it picked it because they knew it was Tolkien's second choice vs because they simply liked it out of the available options. However, the fact that it got all the way up to ~35% of the vote before falling back down to 26.7% strongly suggests that a good portion of the early votes were indeed from book readers. (My polls usually reach the hardcore fans first, then gradually spread to the casuals.)

Most of the other options were pretty close to the expected average for a poll with 12 options (8.33%). Much to my surprise, however, the least popular option was Frodo and the Mountain of Doom (1.4%), which I personally thought was a quite clever take on Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Not sure why that didn't catch on.

Additional context

For those of you too young to remember or who simply weren't paying attention at the time, when 9/11 happened and the Twin Towers were destroyed in a terrorist attack several movies that were then in production made last-minute changes in response.

Most famously, Spider-man (the first one) removed all references to the towers after having featured them prominently in promotional materials. And animation fans are probably familiar with the story that Stitch originally hijacked a plane which he flew perilously close to buildings in Lilo and Stitch.

Obviously, The Two Towers was released with its original name intact, but there was a small movement to rename it at the time. Or more accurately, people pointed out the obvious "problem" with the title and wondered on the internet if it was going to "have" to be changed. This being 2002 and not 2022, the powers that be thankfully did not particularly care what some people on the internet said.

Also, although not strictly relevant to this poll, please appreciate this graphic someone on Wikipedia went to the trouble of making showing possible pairs of towers Tolkien considered having the title refer to.

In case you missed it

@rohirric-hunter shared a touching story about ordering the audio book of The Two Towers as a Barnes & Noble employee.

The movie references

If you wanted to know what movies were being referenced, a complete list is below the cut.

2 Lords 2 Rings (10.3%) 2 Fast 2 Furious - This was the title that made the least sense if you thought about it, but the format is a relatively common meme so I'm assuming that's why it overperformed the expected average.

Frodo and the Mountain of Doom (1.4%) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - Well, I thought it was clever.

The Ents Strike Back (5.4%) Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back - Honestly, I was pretty proud of this one too.

Look Who's Walking Too (3.2%) Look Who's Talking Too - This got my own vote. It's so broadly applicable to the story!

Rohan Family Values (2.8%) Addam's Family Values - I didn't expect this one to do well, and it didn't.

Frodo & Sam's Bogus Journey (8.2%) Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey - Looking at the notes, I'm not sure how many people voting for this one actually knew about the Bill & Ted sequel versus just liking the word "bogus."

The Desolation of Saruman (7.9%) The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug - I didn't expect this one to do well either, but it held its own well enough.

The One With Helm's Deep (8.8%) Friends episode names reference - All Friends episodes are titled something like "The One With..." or "The One Where...", to the point that titles often use the abbreviation "TOW."

The Treason of Isengard (26.7%) As discussed above, this came directly from Tolkien himself. The Treason of Isengard is Book III (aka part 1 of The Two Towers), and The Ring Goes East is Book IV (aka part 2).

Lord of the Rings 2: Electric Boogaloo (9.7%) Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo - At this point, the sequel's title is better known than anything else about Breakin. Know Your Meme has a nice article on the topic.

Lord of the Rings 2: The Search For More Money (3%) Spaceballs reference - I was sad this one didn't do very well either (10 of 12), but I think people were aiming for more "serious" answers so they laughed but didn't actually vote for it.

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: Part 2 (12.5%) Reference to the glut of movies titled this way nowadays - Honestly a little disappointed this one placed second, actually, since to me it's the most boring of all. But I guess that's also what made it funny?

[sillylotrpolls]

I should really stop polling questions that have answers I don't actually like. XD What does it matter if X% of people agree with me if some percentage don't?

...That was meant as a joke, but actually, if you think about it, it's kinda deep, isn't it? Like, if you're running a poll, don't you need to prepare yourself for the possibility of any of the available options getting more votes than you'd expect/like? And even if you try to leave out an option you don't like, tumblr will come together to inundate your activity feed with tags and comments asking about the missing choice.

But if we only ask questions where we're okay with any of the answers, are those questions actually meaningful? I don't know; I only got a B in philosophy in college.

....On the bright side, I did get to read this excellent sentence by @captainkirkscleavage in the replies:

I forgot to apply the Harkness test - if we replace "bestiality" with "monsterfucking" in my previous comment, I would say the potential for messy (in terms of in-world context) questions stands

And amusingly, there were these tags by @even-the-sparrow:

#i feel like arwen/aragorn and legolas/gimli are in a different classification than gandalf/balrog#maybe because they're humanoids?#gandalf/balrog would be interspecies no matter what

Which are best contrasted with these tags by @thedaughterofkings:

#I guess the least convincing case for different species is actually gandalf and the balrog#because they are both from beyond Middle Earth's concepts of species

Sometimes I remember that time I was intensely weirded out by seeing a Gimleaf fanfic tagged "interspecies," and when that sort of thing happens I wonder if it bothers other people too or if it's just me.

[sillylotrpolls]

As you might guess, I love Fandometrics and the annual Year In Review. And hey, what's this? It's a list of Lord of the Rings characters (and others) in an order! Let's look at that, shall we? :D

1 - 27. Bilbo Baggins | the Lord of the Rings franchise 2 - 33. Thorin Oakenshield | the Lord of the Rings franchise 3 - 39. Frodo Baggins | the Lord of the Rings franchise 4 - 40. Aragorn | the Lord of the Rings franchise 5 - 50. Gandalf | the Lord of the Rings franchise 6 - 56. Samwise Gamgee | the Lord of the Rings franchise 7 - 58. Legolas | the Lord of the Rings franchise 8 - 71. Boromir | the Lord of the Rings franchise 9 - 81. Éowyn | the Lord of the Rings franchise 10 - 91. Gimli | the Lord of the Rings franchise 11 - 100. Arwen | the Lord of the Rings franchise

So, first off, Lord of the Rings (and The Hobbit) scored 11 of the top 100 characters! And none of these characters are in Rings of Power (yet), either, so none of them have a project this year influencing the rankings. something something Tolkien endures something

The top two are Bilbo and Thorin, which squares with what I see when browsing fics on Ao3. The Hobbit movies and Bagginshield are still "new" to the fandom, so it makes sense that they're getting more attention when you strictly look at what people talked about on tumblr this year. But, if you check the movies list, Lord of the Rings is at 3 and The Hobbit down at 17. Huh.

What really surprised me, though, is that Sam placed 6th, or 4th if you don't count Bagginshield. 4th! And Bill the Pony wasn't even on the list!! As any long-time reader of this blog knows, Sam never loses a popularity contest unless Bill the Pony is involved. So why did Frodo, Aragorn, and Gandalf all place higher?

::pause to check tumblr search::

Okay, so when Sam is tagged in something, Frodo usually is as well. But there are also a lot of posts enjoyed by "casuals" of memes or art or whatever, and those are more likely to tag just Frodo (and Gandalf, and Aragorn).

My audience has a much higher proportion of people who have not only read the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but the Silmarillion as well (as they will be happy to explain to you in great detail). It's probably safe to say that "hardcore" lotr fans are bigger Sam stans than the average tumblr user who reblogs things they generally like but who can't distinguish between Merry and Pippin (incidentally, also the only two Felloship members who didn't place on this list).

Also, the data for this list doesn't contain the boom in Tolkien inspirational quotes after the US presidential election. We might see Sam place higher next year on the strength of that alone. (Though Gandalf will be getting the same boost, so then again, maybe not.)

I would venture that Boromir placed as high as he did thanks to @eternal-vambraces and @emilybeemartin's beloved "Boromir Lives" fic and art. I don't think I see much content about him outside of it? But it's damn good content, so good for him.

I don't have much to say about the girls, but I will end this by pointing out that no one should point out to Gimli the difference between his ranking (91) and Legolas' (58). It's basically Helm's Deep all over again.

ETA: It belatedly occurs to me that "Sam" is a pretty common "real" name while all of the other lotr names that placed are unique to Tolkien. Not knowing how Fandometrics captures its data, could some significant portion of #sam posts be getting missed? Or is it generally the case that if you're tagging Sam you also add #lotr, which presumbly Fandometrics can spot and use to identify which Sam is meant? Or that even if you tag "sam," as long as someone else tags a reblog of the post as "samwise" then Fandometrics can assume all instances of the post mean lotr!Sam?

I could probably use the fancy new search features to do at least a rudimentary investigation, but.... maybe later. XD

Movies Fictional Characters

There's a clear winner in *this* battle of Godzilla versus Mothra.

Logan Howlett | the Marvel universe

Wade Wilson | the Marvel universe

Anakin Skywalker | the Star Wars universe

Bucky Barnes | the Marvel universe

Mike Schmidt | Five Nights at Freddy's

Godzilla | the Godzilla franchise

Coriolanus Snow | The Hunger Games

Peter Parker | the Marvel universe

Natasha Romanoff | the Marvel universe

Steve Rogers | the Marvel universe

Wanda Maximoff | the Marvel universe

Luke Skywalker | the Star Wars universe

Vanessa | Five Nights at Freddy's

Katniss Everdeen | The Hunger Games

Branch | Trolls

Art Donaldson | Challengers

Alex Claremont-Diaz | Red, White & Royal Blue

Peeta Mellark | The Hunger Games

Tony Stark | the Marvel universe

Leonard McCoy | the Star Trek universe

Amanda Young | Saw

Miles Morales | Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Lucy Gray Baird | The Hunger Games

Paul Atreides | Dune

Patrick Zweig | Challengers

Willy Wonka | Wonka

Bilbo Baggins | the Lord of the Rings franchise

Floyd | Trolls

Leia Organa | the Star Wars universe

Optimus Prime | Transformers

Padmé Amidala | the Star Wars universe

Miguel O'Hara | the Marvel universe

Thorin Oakenshield | the Lord of the Rings franchise

Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor | Red, White & Royal Blue

Hobie Brown | Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Anxiety | Inside Out 2

John Dory | Trolls

Felix Catton | Saltburn

Frodo Baggins | the Lord of the Rings franchise

Aragorn | the Lord of the Rings franchise

Shockwave | Transformers

Oliver Quick | Saltburn

Bradley Uppercrust III | An Extremely Goofy Movie

Gwen Stacy | Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Kenji Sato | Ultraman: Rising

Tashi Duncan | Challengers

Clay | Trolls

Dogpool | the Marvel universe

Xenomorph | the Alien franchise

Gandalf | the Lord of the Rings franchise

Carol Danvers | the Marvel universe

Bruce | Trolls

Megatron | Transformers

Eddie Brock | the Marvel universe

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen | Dune

Samwise Gamgee | the Lord of the Rings franchise

Thor Odinson | the Marvel universe

Legolas | the Lord of the Rings franchise

Yelena Belova | the Marvel universe

Darth Maul | the Star Wars universe

Regina George | Mean Girls

Ballister Boldheart | Nimona

Jake "Hangman" Seresin | Top Gun: Maverick

Han Solo | the Star Wars universe

Tyler Owens | Twisters

Lydia Deetz | Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Mothra | the Godzilla franchise

Pete "Maverick" Mitchell | Top Gun: Maverick

Finnick Odair | The Hunger Games

Toothless | How to Train Your Dragon

Boromir | the Lord of the Rings franchise

Sadako | The Ring

Joy | Inside Out 2

Michael Myers | the Halloween franchise

Sam Wilson | the Marvel universe

Stu Macher | Scream

Morticia Addams | The Addams Family

Ambrosius Goldenloin | Nimona

Kylo Ren | the Star Wars universe

Ennui | Inside Out 2

Éowyn | the Lord of the Rings franchise

Elita One | Transformers

Fear | Inside Out 2

Jason Voorhees | the Friday the 13th franchise

Venom (Symbiote) | the Marvel universe

Hiccup Haddock | How to Train Your Dragon

Sentinel Prime | Transformers

Elsa | Frozen

Pavitr Prabhakar | Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Yoda | the Star Wars universe

Gimli | the Lord of the Rings franchise

Kamala Khan | the Marvel universe

Furiosa | Mad Max: Fury Road

Once-ler | The Lorax

Cassian Andor | the Star Wars universe

Snow White | Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Haymitch Abernathy | The Hunger Games

Jedediah | Night at the Museum

Octavius | Night at the Museum

Arwen | the Lord of the Rings franchise

This is a returning list! Yay!

Marvel sweep! Come chat about your faves in a Community made for that very purpose.

[sillylotrpolls]

I really like where this went, but must admit that it never did come anywhere close to even somewhat resembling a "poll." If I repeat this in the future, I'll have a tag like #discussion and put a round-up of comments in the eventual #results post.

A potential problem, though, is that I currently use #polls (from the pinned post) to quickly find each poll so I can go back and write said results posts in order, and I don't really want to go back and add a whole 'nother tag to every post. Hmmm. 🤔 Well, I'll think about it!

Thank you very much to everyone who participated in this experiment. ♥

What would the Elvish word for "blorbo" be?

Rather than having a set list of options, today's poll is open-ended! If you have a suggestion, post it in the comments or a reply.

I know we've got some serious Tolkien scholars here on tumblr, and I'd love to hear a breakdown of what exactly Jirt might have chosen to mean "favorite or beloved character" (definition courtesy Urban Dictionary).

Extra credit:

Is the word different in Sindarin/Quenya?

How would Tolkien use the word in a sentence?

If used as a name, would "Blorbo" be a dwarf or a hobbit?

If Tolkien were alive today, would he describe Lúthien as his "blorbo"?

What about Elvish words for "glup shitto," "skrunkly," and "woobie"?

If you don't know Elvish (and why would you?), an Elvish dictionary is available at www.elfdict.com.

Or, you can straight-up use Finnish and Welsh. Or, just make up something that sounds like a word Legolas might say. Open-ended means there's no limit to your choices. :)