sloobyjr

[sloobyjr]

dissolve

waves lap against me

fill my veins and flood my lungs

i wish to be you

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

icarus

oh, to be human

heaven resides in the sky

but my wings are clipped

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

home

to let another

crawl inside of my ribcage

feels self-forsaken

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

The absence of

windows in this room

makes it impossible

for circulation

of this stagnant

air. Faces frame the walls

with their indomitable expressions.

They look down upon me, though

I long to be one

of them. On the road to nowhere,

they taunt me as I toil

endlessly, clawing

at cracks in the

walls. The faces twist and

contort until they meld

into one,

tormenting

complexion. There, on the

walls staring back at me,

is a crystalline

reflection of

myself.

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

the music in my head

—contentment?

red wine notes and amber whiskey

whisper in my ear, my dear

singing sweet melodies of—

melancholy

nicotine and novocain

pulse with natural rhythm

sounding, compounding like—

apathy

an oxy plus a benzo

explicating harmonies low

strumming and thrumming—

desperation

methylphenidate, methamphetamine

ticking, tocking

singily songing—

obsession

resentment.

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

somewhere else

ocean water fills my vessels

saturating my existence

with tides

i have no room for

it pushes me out of that place

i have presided too long

enveloping my withered body

with promises of apathy —

finally.

my blood dilutes — it dwindles

losing its grip on me

it lurches and grasps for my throat

and i cannot breathe

i do not want to drown in

everything i am

yet i do not want to become —

what i am not

i open my mouth to breathe

and draw brine deeply

into my lungs —

i am not welcome there

these limbs refuse to listen

when i try to keep composed

even my own heart

begins to flow back on itself

i am drowning.

sometimes — there is nothing

you can do at all

except drift — endlessly

a sweet suffocation —

content with overflowing

cascades sweep me off my feet

carrying me —

somewhere else entirely.

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

Sancta Sanctorum

I am not afraid of body writhing,

of eyes bulging, of ink pooling,

of cold face expressionless,

but of an interminable

expanse of silence;

an incompressible

non-existence;

an unbinding

tapering of

the chaos

of me

and

I.

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

paroxysm

a dense, grey

cumulonimbus mass torments

the inside of my skull, pitching and rolling,

releasing convulsions of searing white flame

which discriminately fracture any remnants

   of coherency, leaving nothing

     but my listless body

   writhing

and

the

wi

nd

ho

w

li

n

g

.

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

wilting—growing

a sprout am i

and all but growth i shun

these tender leaves of green i've spun

so truly of the ground am i

my hands clasped tight

on what is yet to come

what may simply appear to some

as melting—in oppressive light

i am melting—

mixing with this puddle

tapping into greatness subtle

newness i must always letting

furls some wilting

some still higher scuttle

reaching up to blueness muddled

loftiest intentions setting

this is the truest me

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

With Patience, My Love

I want to love you with patience

To nurture our serenity

Causing ever-blooming carnations

To spring forth from eternity

Your laugh, an invitation

To share a moment blissfully

And join in adoration

of nature's verdant simplicity

Freckled constellations

I stare into your infinity

Your holy inclination

Reflecting His divinity

Boundless imagination

Awestruck by your artistry

The breadth of your creation

Like crashing waves and endless sea

In everything that's yet to be

I cherish thoughts of you and me

When the moon no longer pulls the tide

I pray that I'll be by your side

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

evisceration

You made a home

inside my empty chest.

I peeled back layers

of epithelial tissue,

slicing through fragile nets

of capillaries

until I found a

            hollow

            space

I chiseled away at ribs II, III, and IV.

Splinters of bone fell on dry earth,

giving way to bushes of thorns,

and I wrenched you from the place

my heart used to beat.

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

999 999 999

i dream i could disappear

behind the soft blanket of fog

so subtly draped

atop leaves of grass.

i dream of blurred lines

a smudge of tan

quite indiscernible

a fading memory.

yet wherever i go,

sharp rifts,

indelible marks,

haunt my step.

how do i contend

with the permanence i create?

-q.s.

[sloobyjr]

gonna be posting some old and new o.c. poetry here!maybe some art and music as well.