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I’m in post-flare-up jail of plain cream cheese bagels, soda crackers, and buttered noodles :(

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this flare up is literally kicking my ass rn send help

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I am no longer explaining my chronic illnesses. I'm only ominously referencing them like I'm a fantasy realm NPC dropping plot hooks:

I am besieged by the affliction

The ritual was successful, but it has drained me. I need time to recuperate.

I can't do that, because of The Curse

Dark forces are conspiring within me. I must conserve my strength to battle them.

Unseen foes assault me. I cannot strike back with blows, but I can lessen their influence by consuming certain alchemical rites.

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People with low spoons, someone just recommended this cookbook to me, so I thought I'd pass it on.

I always look at cookbooks for people who have no energy/time to do elaborate meal preparations, and roll my eyes. Like, you want me to stay on my feet for long enough to prepare 15 different ingredients from scratch, and use 5 different pots and pans, when I have chronic fatigue and no dishwasher?

These people seem to get it, though. It's very simple in places. It's basically the cookbook for people who think, 'I'm really bored of those same five low-spoons meals I eat, but I can't think of anything else to cook that won't exhaust me'.

And it's free!

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so uyour telling me the thing thats known to cause flare ups caused my flare up? existence is a fucking prison.

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It’s so crazy that suicide prevention is just people going awwww don’t!! Awwww come on noooooooooo stopppppp

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suicidal thoughts so bad i had to reconnect with nature

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The real thing with ADHD is not "I forgot", but that forgetting is this ongoing process. I remembered! And then I forgot.

At ten this (hypothetical) morning I remembered that I have a meeting at six. And then from 11 through 3 I worked on other stuff and had zero thoughts about that meeting. Maybe even thought about what I was gonna do with my evening at home. Got attached to the idea of taking the time to make a good dinner, maybe play some video games.

And then at three I said, "Oh! Fuck!" and remembered again, hopefully long enough to set an alarm. And then I went to the bathroom and remembered that I need to clean the counter and spent twenty minutes cleaning the bathroom and went to get a snack and then at five I said, "OH! FUCK!" and had to scramble to dress like a real adult and get out the door.

It isn't one clean forgetting. It's a constant process of forgetting and then, with an exhausting adrenaline spike, remembering. And then forgetting. Baby, I can forget the same thing more times in a day than you ever forgot your parents' anniversary.

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i realize replacing suicide jokes with increasingly looney-toons-esque deaths is still not that great for my mental health, but i refuse to stop on account of the bit

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I hate when a tiny stupid thing pushes you over the edge and makes you freak the fuck out because it makes you look like a completely irrational tar pit of a human being. Like no I promise this is warranted just maybe not about that specifically I swear I'm well adjusted. Come closer stick your fingers in my cage

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Being like. Post-suicidal is so strange. Like hiiiii everybody im new I spent a good chunk of my life languishing and have like 3 or 4 lived experiences. But now I'm ready to fuck and party or whatever. Can we be friends. Im so happy to be here. Can we be friends

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“adhd is so cute! like a distractible dog 🥺”

my friend didn’t sit with me at dinner after i waved at her and i went into a 3 day spiral thinking my entire friend group hated me.

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my ankles are so swollen from walking that looking at them makes me nauseous

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as a woman with elevated testosterone (pcos) who uses steroids (asthma inhalers) i must say i am feeling very cheated in the athletic prowess department. when is my dangerous masculine olympic level strength and speed supposed to kick in. do i need to go to professor x

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TheNib.com

@thenib

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the worst part about ocd and ocd-like tendencies is that you think hyper-analyzing your thoughts and constantly psychoanalyzing yourself will fix you but that's actually part of the disorder. it's the disorder. disordering.

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