soliloquysx

[soliloquysx]

do you guys also ruin every good thing in your life or is that just me

[soliloquysx]

if you actually cared about me maybe you'd talk to me? i'm tired of waiting for you. you're my everything. my whole world. am i just nothing to you? i might be more to you but it doesn't fucking feel like it.

[soliloquysx]

tell me if it's cool if i chase you for the rest of my life, you make me feel weird

(weird - Elliot Lee)

[soliloquysx]

stop saying i should smile when you know smiling is not my thing. if you want me to smile, give me a reason to smile. you're just making me not want to even more.

[soliloquysx]

hey sorry if i was offputting and strange and bizarre and weird as fuck last night i was just being myself

[soliloquysx]

i can't live without you

[soliloquysx]

I hate how obsessive I get. It isn’t normal, it isn’t healthy. And it does me more harm than good. You’d think though, really, that being obsessed would make someone flattered. Apparently not.

[soliloquysx]

why can't you need me like how i need you?

[soliloquysx]

all i can think about is you and how i want you to be mine forever, yet here i am breaking down in the harsh cold at the thought of having you, since in the end all I could ever do is break you

[soliloquysx]

sometimes i yearn for when it felt like i was rotting alive

[soliloquysx]

bpd culture is splitting on your fp and after that being like “thatll show them, maybe theyll learn for next time” but the moment they start questioning why you even stay with them you burst into tears and sobs telling them how much you love them because you really DO love them youre just scared to get hurt again

.

[soliloquysx]

god, you’re always on my mind . i feel like im going fucking insane. its an itch i cant scratch. i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you. you’re driving me fuckin crazy. just be mine already! tell me what i need to fucking do!!

[soliloquysx]

bpd culture is my fp mentions playing with other friends and suddenly im losing them and im not important to them and im panicking and desperately praying they'll get bored of them and stay with me and actually no i hate them i hate them i should have expected this and it keeps going and going

.

[soliloquysx]

it was fine to respond like that but i am still hurting, you are allowed to have those thoughts and feelings but i am still allowed to feel hurt.

[soliloquysx]

i cant stand it anymore i don’t want this brain i dont want this life i want to live but not like this not with those constant feelings and thoughts and self destructive behaviors and all of that i cant do it anymore i cant

[soliloquysx]

are you catching on that i may be insane? is that why you did it?

[soliloquysx]

hypocritical is i.