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not going to lie i am kind of obsessed with annabeth at 12 years old watching one of those "is megalodon still out there?" bullshit ass documentaries and she wholeheartedly buys into it because she's 12 and still thinks that if it airs on animal planet or the history channel it must be accurate, so she tells percy all about the totally real facts and figures and percy's like "that's bullshit. if we had giant sharks we'd know. that's such bullshit" and there's like..... you know how they canonically email each other when they're not at camp? there's like half the email dedicated to "here's what i did this week" and then 15 paragraphs about their megalodon argument. neither of them do any research about it because annabeth thinks she's done the research by watching the documentary, and percy is a) dyslexic, and as much as he wants to stick it to annabeth he will not be reading anything he does not have to, and b) why would he READ he can just ASK THE FUCKING SHARKS. but he's stuck in NYC so he can't ask any sharks until the summer, and the fact that percy is disagreeing with her means that annabeth is digging her heels into this argument and refusing to budge, so it's a completely inane back and forth argument because both these 12 year olds are just making up their own arguments to try and own the other, and eventually percy defaults to going i am a SON of POSEIDON i think i KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT SHARKS i am BASICALLY KIND OF RELATED TO ALL SHARKS EVERYWHERE BECAUSE MY DAD MADE ALL OF THEM TOO SO SUCK IT. and then he hits send on that particular email and has an existential crisis because, if his dad is the ocean, and made all the things in the ocean, and also horses, are they all his siblings? or were the first ones of each species his siblings, and now it's kind of questionable? how many genetic steps away is he from a fucking manta ray? he can't ponder for long because sally reads his email to annabeth over his shoulder and grounds him for telling annabeth to suck it, and makes him write an apology email.

and then they get to camp and naturally the megalodon argument falls to the wayside because of the fact that percy and annabeth's lives are a mcdonald's playplace for gods and titans to do what they want. but i'd like to think during the downtime in sea of monsters, annabeth resurrects the argument and percy's like I'M ASKING THE FUCKING SHARKS and marches to the bay and patiently waits for a shark to answer his I'm The Son Of Poseidon And I Have A Question call, and it does happen to be a traveling great white that answers. percy's like "i've gotta win this argument please tell me megalodon is extinct" and after crossing the language barrier, the shark explains that yes, megalodon is extinct. they don't call their ancestor sharks megalodon, sharks have their own words for their ancestor sharks, and because percy as tiny lord of the ocean is technically partially their god he gets to understand special shark language. but nobody else does, so when percy is explaining this interaction to annabeth and tries to repeat the shark-word for megalodon, he opens his mouth and makes a rumbling-clicking-bad-ear sound, and annabeth calls him a liar and swears he's making up this entire shark interaction and he can't prove anything. percy is so mad. he goes back to the ocean and talks to another shark because he's like I'M RIGHT AND SHE WON'T LISTEN and this shark, a bull shark, helpfully suggests that cannibalism might be the answer, because he's a shark. the conversation kind of devolved into percy nervously asking if all ocean life everywhere is technically related to him, and the bull shark is like no, no, no, that's not how it works, son of poseidon. you're not related to US. you're related to the WATER. and the bull shark sounds so happy that he could help that percy just beams at him and goes "thanks!" even though internally he's more confused than ever, and he has to sit at the bottom of the ocean having an existential crisis

cut to many years and near-death situations later, after percy's gap..... years, in which he just did not care for the prospect of college, and annabeth kicking her own ass during undergrad and now moving on to graduate school (shhh the chases can afford it), percy's wandered into a marine biology track. the megalodon argument has been buried by less fun arguments, like percy arguing that annabeth should help do his laundry because she pretty much only wears his clothes anyway. percy has made College Friends, and he's really excited to introduce his beautiful, wonderful, best friend-girlfriend to his College Friends. annabeth starts the conversation by going "i think megalodon is still out there" and percy's Marine Biology College Friends all turn to stare at percy while percy chokes on his own spit and tries (read: fails) to breathe

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occasionally I am struck dumb by the sublime beauty of the world in the small moments, you know?

egg

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Her Grandfathers Burial Clothing

When my friend Erin went to go work at the National Museum of the American Indian, the Navajo/Dine woman whom gave the tour told her that the reason why she had choosen to work there was because when she went on a tour of the museum, they had pulled out the garment that she had helped make to bury her grandfather in.

Can you even think about what that must have been like for that woman? To know that you are seeing the exact garment that you yourself and your family members had made by hand to put your relative whom you loved very much to rest, and there in front of you lies that garment? And all the while you know, YOU KNOW, that the fact that it’s there infront of you means that someone had gone and dug up your relative just to steal that, and you don’t even know what kind of condition they are in. You don’t know if they were reburied, or whether their remains were taken, perhaps even separated out, to be put on display or to be studied for “science” and “anthropology”.

And it’s not like this is uncommon. The fact is there are many many people who’s ancestor’s remains and personal items are locked up in museums and they either have a long hefty fight to get it out of there and back to the family or they have no hope… particularly if the museum is a privately owned one.

This is the respect that is given to natives.

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Love the dresses!

you think you’re going to have a normal field trip and she shows up wyd (cw *slight* flashing images)

✦ find me on instagram @the.flightless.artist ✦

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“Humans are inherently selfish--" Then why do so many cultures value hospitality, to the point of dictating it in their religions? Why is it so common for hosts to offer their visitors their best food, and as much of it as they can? At some point, multiple cultures decided that they knew what it felt like to be alone and vulnerable, and promised each other to never let those who stay with them feel that way. That doesn't sound very "inherently selfish" to me.

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A Kate Beaton classic for Ida B. Wells birthday.

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Cannot describe how much I love the image of a magical protective teddy bear being added too over years.

I am positively feral of the idea that John Constantine is an ex of both Maddie and Jack Fenton. Imagine the possibilities. They’re endless.

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I'm delighted by the puns.

If ghosts are declared legally neither sentient nor sapient >.>

Then? LEGALLY? Anything they do? They can't be held responsible for. After all, they don't know any better.

Danny should start a harrassment campaign. Clear Activist actions. Publicly. Loudly. And with the world watching. Wear it on a tee-shirt. Keep repeating it.

"I'm not legally sentient or sapient. Not MY decision, this is what YOU decided."

Openly steal from the rich. Like, OPENLY and on a petty level. Sweep wall street. Hit major companies for food and water and give it too people. Kick presidential candidates in the balls. Cause expensive but not life treating inconvenience to the world.

You can't be a criminal, after all.

It's literally the Jesus approach. "Turn the other cheek". If you strike me AGAIN, you are acknowledging me as an equal. So which is it, oppressors? Am I less then you and free to rebel, or am I equal and capable of being held accountable?

Charm campaign with his enemies money. End world hunger. Take their wealth. Chaos and Discord. No, sorry, you CAN NOT negotiate with me! I'm INCAPABLE remember?

Neither sentient nor sapient!

Shame. Better fix that! Hey? Who's yacht was this? YEET! Guess it doesn't matter now! It's in ORBIT! Have a GREAT daaaay~☆

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If ghosts are declared legally neither sentient nor sapient >.>

Then? LEGALLY? Anything they do? They can't be held responsible for. After all, they don't know any better.

Danny should start a harrassment campaign. Clear Activist actions. Publicly. Loudly. And with the world watching. Wear it on a tee-shirt. Keep repeating it.

"I'm not legally sentient or sapient. Not MY decision, this is what YOU decided."

Openly steal from the rich. Like, OPENLY and on a petty level. Sweep wall street. Hit major companies for food and water and give it too people. Kick presidential candidates in the balls. Cause expensive but not life treating inconvenience to the world.

You can't be a criminal, after all.

It's literally the Jesus approach. "Turn the other cheek". If you strike me AGAIN, you are acknowledging me as an equal. So which is it, oppressors? Am I less then you and free to rebel, or am I equal and capable of being held accountable?

Charm campaign with his enemies money. End world hunger. Take their wealth. Chaos and Discord. No, sorry, you CAN NOT negotiate with me! I'm INCAPABLE remember?

Neither sentient nor sapient!

Shame. Better fix that! Hey? Who's yacht was this? YEET! Guess it doesn't matter now! It's in ORBIT! Have a GREAT daaaay~☆

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You know what we don't see enough of?

Dramatic Ancient Of Space Summonings(TM).

Like? Full on, SHOCK AND AWE Dramatic. Behold for it is a GOD that you have called upon you, Dramatic. Swelling music and camera panning out, the works.

Like, it SHOULD? Be this panicked race against time. All terror and counting down the clock, like a nuke is about to blow under down town New York. Primal fear as... oh god... oh god they're too late. The Ritual(tm)! It's complete!

Green and starlight SURGING. Bursting up and up and UP. Like a pillar into the heavens. The earth rumbling. Things crashing to the floor. Ozone in the air. A grand display that just... seems to stop?

Ends in nothing more then a softly glowing circle, meant to supposedly contain the spirit.

It... failed?

The Cultists argue. Rage. The are too busy bickering to look around them. But you? You notice the breeze. Cool. Cooler then it had been just a moment before. And the quality of the light has changed. As... as though...

The stars...

Have...

Gotten?

Bri..ght..er?

The sky is full. And staring back.

He sees you. Eyes like moons. Glowing vast and an impossible green. An aurora borealis of white drifts around him. Stars, freckles upon his face. He is at once both transparent and perfectly solid. There and not there. Galaxies and nebula. Things beyond your comprehension.

Contained?

How could ANY man made circle EVER contain THAT? Something so VAST? So POWERFUL? Greater then planets and possibly older then time? You... you feel so small.

And it can see you.

Why have you called? Those eyes ask. For what reason did you disturb them? You are terrified. These idiots have dragged a God from their work for petty things, and unless you can talk and talk FAST? All of humanity might pay for that.

Just? Enough mortal sized Gods! Let them be LARGE you cowards! Make a magic user CRY today! A few world leaders soil themselves! Let Danny just Be Vibin in Space!

(Let Constantine Smash.)

(JOHN!)

(WHAT?! He's an ambitious man! Get of his back will you? A man can dream!)

@hypewinter @nerdpoe @hdgnj @the-witchhunter @dcxdpdabbles @lolottes @mutable-manifestation

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lmfao at these updates

Cujo

"Cujo where in the world do you keep finding all these things?"

Danny looked down at a very proud looking Cujo who had recently returned from his trip.

On each trip he brought back things that he liked, lately Cujo was bringing back the most curious things.

From pillows and toys to weapons and weird clothing.

One time even bringing a golden lasso.

This time it seemed to be a sword and a jar filled with liquid with what he was pretty sure was a human organ.

"Cujo please don't take peoples organs, I don't want to get in trouble"

A sentence he never thought he would be saying,

What a day.

~

Alfred: "I seem to be missing my favourite pair of socks?"

~

Wonder Woman is questioning who was brave/stupid enough to steal her lasso from practically under her nose.

~

Damian: Father! Who took my weapons away, I haven't even been grounded!"

~

Lex Luthor: "Where's all the kryptonite I just bought?!"

~

Ra's: *squinting* "Something just happened."

~

Sorry this one is shorter than usual I'm in the middle of class.

Bye!

~

Just an Idea

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I woke up to this thought? And it made me smile~

Wrong way Au?

It's EASY to fly from point A to point B. Linear. Just on long, no traffic, straight line. And if you get lost? Go higher! There you are! But "normal" reporter families with Totally Human genetics can't exactly DO that.

Plus? It's part of the whole Americana thing!

Childhood.

Gotta do a road trip, see weird road side attractions, camp and hike a bit. Go somewhere other then the farm for once. Soooo~ everyone into the car! Yes, you too, Kon.

And don't look at Lois, kids. She hates this idea as much as you do. But it's for Dad. So we're doing it. Get in the car. Some times loving people means "suuuure, honey! I TOTALLY want to sit in an uncomfortable car for hours for your nostalgic dream trip!", so get comfy.

Problem is? He either can't navigate for SHIT (unlikely) or this patch of nowhere? Possibly haunted? Cursed? Fuckey. Very, very Reality Fuckey. Far more likely, honestly. They THINK that was the a same barn the passed four times now... but it looks... wrong? Off. Worse each time, in ways that are hard to place.

Where the FUCK are they Clark?

According to the GPS?

Here.

(You are Here. You are Here. You are He-)

Oh, THAT'S not cursed! She fucking KNEW they shouldn't have left the city. FUCK the countryside. She likes ONE(1) small town and it's where her in-laws live, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! If they die, she swear to GOD-!!!

Then Jon points to colorful tents up the road. A mix of the kind you buy at big box stores and Ren fairs. Balloons. What the fuuuuuck? "Fenton Family Reunion"?

Was... was that THERE a second ago?

Clark's very deliberate Not Too Tight Grip Of Panic ™ on the steering wheel? Confirms that No Honey, it was not. Kon points out? That eventually they ARE going to run out of gas. They should stop.

Words can not express how little the Kents want to do that. They have KIDS to protect. This feels "magical fuckery" to them. AKA? One of the few things Kryptonians very much CAN NOT handle.

And luck getting ahold of anybody back there kids? No? Emergency lines too?

Fuck ™.

Okay! Guess we're stopping! Stay behind us.

They park.

There are campers and trucks, modified tanks and trackers. A few horses grazing side by side with an honest to God moose and two mules. A Llama. Someone's anchored a dirigible. A boat with spindly chicken footed legs, like it's the house of baba yaga's sea faring love child. The name Fenton is slapped on everything. Peoples faces.

Grinning.

Everything grinning.

As they get closer, the racket gets louder. Crashes and smashes. Roaring laughter. Explosions. The screech of metal failing and the whine of energy overclocked. Fatty meats cooking. Spices from around the globe. Radios and instruments, at least one of which violently cuts off in a smash.

They pass an almost violently balloon choked arch, into chaos.

Grinning giants, everywhere. Every color, every shade, every race imaginable. The spectrum of humanity laid bare. Made large. Grinning, Grinning, Grinning. Crashing into each other, against, through. Smashing and laughing, as everything breaks around them. Titans.

Darting underfoot, children. Fast with wild eyes. Mad grins and fae laughs. Wives and husband's, partners and friends, dancing in and out of the chaos. Just as destructive. Perhaps MORE so. Grabbing meals from grills, laughing and joking, tossing children into the fray, all as they effortless hold conversations of their own.

Like a Dionysian revelry, all madness and joy.

Then they are noticed.

"Cousin!"

One of them booms. Locking eyes on Clark. He doesn't even have time to move, doesn't realize until too late, in all the chaos, that the man meant HIM. A running start is followed by a brutal, full body, flying tackle. Clark is taken skidding to the ground and into a headlock.

"LETS WRASTLE~!!"

He watches in helpless confusion as, with high-pitched war cries, a pair of twins jump Jon. They are wearing war paint. Krypto already taken out by a glowing green dog, now confused and wrestling off to the side. Lois has whipped out her tazer. Kon between her and who ever comes next.

By the time he wrestle his "cousin" off of him, he's lost sight of them both.

Dives into the fray.

Magic be damned, that's his FAMILY!

It... It's the most fun he's had in years. That any of them have. He finds Lois in a breathless, screaming, debate/fistfight with her new best friend. Samantha "call me Sam Or ELSE" Manson-Fouley-Fenton. Kon is in the mud pit, wrestling other teenagers in some sort of battle Royale. Jon? Has become king of the ferals. The other parents are impressed.

His years of Damian wrangling finally paying dividends, apparently.

By the time Clark FINALLY tracks down Krypto, there is already crowd and it apparently six heel turns deep into the WWE Grand Saga of the Fenton Pet's League. Krypto, what the hell. No. No you may NOT "form one last alliance against my sworn wrestling enemy, to prove the true meaning of Christmas!" It's the middle of SUMMER!

Clark... Clark is so tired.

He's also a Fenton now. Yes, he KNOWS that's not how anything works. YOU try explaining that! He's on the call list and card list. It's like the Addams family out here! They just... just DECIDED him and his family were related! They've apparently DONE THAT BEFORE!

They leave with directions, fudge, more leftovers then anyone could possibly eat, and a massive new extended family. One that honestly? The Justice League SHOULD have known about. The sheer destructive chaos they get up too? EVERYONE should be aware of them. It seems impossible NOT to be! But? According to THEM, it's a "family thing". Reality tries to ignore them for "it's own sanity"? What???

So yeah.... no more road trips.

How was YOUR weekend?

@hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @lolottes @babbling-babull @dcxdpdabbles @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation

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If I'm understanding this right? He's also the guy who spends a lot of time going "why did you try to PICK UP THE RACOON? Of course you got bit what did you think you were Snow White?"

Like, people would call him to deal with racoons because they KNOW they don't know how to handle this, or they call him because they THINK they know and are in the find out stage.

It's just that the racoons in question can do a lot worse than bite.

I still maintain that people who only know Constantine through DPxDC tend to

a) overestimate how intimidating Danny is

and

b) under estimate how little of a shit John gives about supernatural entities that could potentially kill him

John is not a coward, he opts to not get involved if he doesn't have to, not because he's afraid, but because if he isn't needed why would he put in the extra work?

Him seeing Danny and walking immediately out would not be because he's afraid

it would be like strategically walking away from a conversation when someone starts talking about needing help moving. You're not afraid of helping someone move, you just don't want to carry a sofa up three flights of stairs while your buddy fails to understand what you mean when you tell him to fucking pivot the couch

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Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

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really glad i didn't grow up with AI essay writing scandals because i just saw a teacher say that "em dashes give away who's using AI. high schoolers don't know em dashes." lady i knew em dashes carnally in high school. if your student came in wearing a tardis hoodie then that em dash came straight from the heart. the only artificial intelligence there is the worldliness she believes she gained from watching perks of being a wallflower.

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I leave them alone for ONE DAY.