spahhzy - Tumblr blog

[spahhzy]

Weiss: Hey sweetie, can I help you with something?

The little girl pointed to Jaune, her boyfriend.

Lil-girl: Who's that next to you?

Weiss smiles warmly at Jaune.

Weiss: That's my boyfriend.

Lil-girl: He's really cute...

That warm smile on Weiss face turned into a cold frown, and Jaune just inwardly grimaced.

Jaune: Weiss, babe, she just gave me a compliment.

Weiss held up a finger to him silencing him.

Weiss: Kotzbrocken...

Jaune: Oh no, she is speaking in Atlesian..

Jaune: Babe, calm down she just a kid...

Weiss: I'm afraid, although I respect your bravery, I can not take this offense lightly and shall give you full capital punishment under the schnee domain!

Jaune: Weiss, hun, you're not gonna battle a child!

Weiss: THIS IS A MILITARY AGED AGENT!

Lil-girl: uhm, miss, I'm seven years old...

Weiss: Seven years to train, clearly a worthy opponent, miss assassin! Draw thy sword! I challenge you to a duel to the death!

Jaune: Put down the stuffed animal, babe! What are you, Darth Vader, killing younglings? You're not about to do this.

Weiss: as they say, "If they can crawl, they can brawl!"

Jaune: N-no one says that...

Weiss: Silence! I draw upon the laws of chilvary where I defend your honor! Your dignity...

Lil girl: I'm sorry ma'am, I didn't mean to make you mad...

Weiss: hmph I expect a two hundred thousand word apology too, and it shall be due no less than by the end of the week. Come Jaune, I demand Uppies on the Jackalope ride!

Weiss with a Jaune in tow left but not before Jaune gave her some tokens for the games and a stuffed bear before leaving.

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How I Failed To Save The World #1

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Jaune slashed back at his possessed otherself the action cause CatJaune to slide back clutching at a now healing sword wound.

CatJaune: Excellent Jaune, yes, you can hurt me as much as you want the pain will only make me stronger!

Jaune: Okay, that's a pretty creepy thing to say...

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Jaune: In order to criticize Huntsmen, I became a huntsman myself.

Ruby: That is some Proffessor Zoom type hatred, Jaune... Tell me more~

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Neo: I see we're playing hard to get~

Jaune: We're playing 'Get the fuck away from me'. You're losing.

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Weiss: You're sick, parading around in Jaune as a flesh suit!

CatJaune: Oh, I'm not sick, I'm twisted with curiosity. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure... but then again...Jaune is my cure!

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Neo looked at her boyfriends chat stream, looking at all the chats' questions, finding amusement in some of them as her dorky night almost stammered at some of the more...personal questions.

Jaune: Knightlight warrior, thanks for the 20 gifted, asked: Hey Jaune, are you currently single right now?

Jaune once again blushed and gave a nervous chuckle as all the chat began spamming.

'Is Arc daddy single?'

He had hidden his hands in his face, which was red from all the blushing, as he tried to formulate a sentence.

Neo silently giggled. She had taken to wanting to keep their life a bit private, not liking being pestered by people, but it would seem she would need to make sure people all around Remnant knew that the blonde golden retriever himbo knight...was hers.

Walking into their room, Jaune caught her on the view of his second monitor, which meant that chat saw her too.

'OMG!'

'NO WAY!'

'NOOOO, NOT MY ARC DADDY!'

Neo smirked before sitting comfortably on Jaune's lap before she spun the chair round so that they were both in a Sideview pov.

Jaune looked at her with blush before signing.

Jaune: What are you doing?

Neo winked: Staking my claim.

Before she attacked Jaune's lips like a hungry wolf.

Jaune could do nothing but close his eyes in bliss as he let his hands sit upon Neo's waist as she ravaged his lips.

'IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!'

'DAMN HER!'

'ARC DADDY NOOOOO'

It wasn't long before the need for air forced the two to stop kissing, leaving a thin trail of saliva between them.

Jaune's face was crimson, and Neo just looked to the camera and gave a smug smile and a wave before getting off Jaune and caressing his cheek before going back to what she was doing as Jaune looked back at the camera.

Jaune: ...ehe-Surprise?

[spahhzy]

ArcFall Kid 2 walks casually into the room with a smirk, seeing her sister chase down her little brother before looking back to her reward. The Nintendo that now became free from Eldest sisters hands.

And all it took was promising her younger brother to clean up the dishes since it was his turn this week.

ArcFall Kid 3: Eldest Sister, your time on the Nintendo has expired...

ArcFall Kid 1: That's Hogwash, brother... your ambition is greater than a virgin in a brothel... find your entertainment elsewhere.

ArcFall Kid 3: You will allow me time on the Nintendo... or I will report your transgressions to mother.

ArcFall Kid 1: Over a silly game you would bring mother into this? You mad dog!

ArcFall Kid 3: The sweetest of dogs can turn to wolves when cornered! Don't make me bite.

ArcFall Kid 1: Very well, we can play together. uhm, here's your controller. *hands him a ps5 controller*

ArcFall Kid 3: My character will not follow my orders, sister...

ArcFall Kid 1: No, no, no! See, you're playing, you're playing, you're right there. *points to NPC*

ArcFall Kid 3 looks at his controller and at his sister's controller.

ArcFall Kid 3: Why is my controller a different color than yours? Is it a bastard?

ArcFall Kid 1: No, No! It's a very special handpicked from the gods, and it's better than mine!

ArcFall Kid 3: Sister, do you take me for a fool?

ArcFall Kid 1 realized she got caught.

ArcFall Kid 3: It's not even turned on!

ArcFall Kid 1: Brother-

ArcFall Kid 3: I have been hoodwinked...bamboozled...HORNSWOGGLED...RUN AMOK!

ArcFall Kid 1: Brother! I swear this was not of my knowledge!

ArcFall Kid 3 glares at his oldest sister before walking over to the outlet, where the switch was plugged to the TV.

ArcFall Kid 3: Then I have no choice.

ArcFall Kid 1: Brother....what are you conspiring?

ArcFall Kid 3: You're Tyranny has gone on far enough!

ArcFall Kid 1: What of my progress!?

ArcFall Kid 1: I have not saved this game! All of my work will be gone in the name of petty revenge!

ArcFall Kid 3: You call it petty, I call it justice. *unplugs game*

ArcFall Kid 1 stares darkly at ArcFall Kid 3.

ArcFall Kid 1: Brother, you've lost your head...*balls hand into a fist* But I can help you find it.

ArcFall Kid 3 inches to the door, ready to run.

ArcFall Kid 1: You have three seconds.

She holds up her hand.

ArcFall Kid 1: One...Two...Three

ArcFall Kid 3 was out the door as his eldest sister gave chase.

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ArcFall Kid 3: Eldest Sister, your time on the Nintendo has expired...

ArcFall Kid 1: That's Hogwash, brother... your ambition is greater than a virgin in a brothel... find your entertainment elsewhere.

ArcFall Kid 3: You will allow me time on the Nintendo... or I will report your transgressions to mother.

ArcFall Kid 1: Over a silly game you would bring mother into this? You mad dog!

ArcFall Kid 3: The sweetest of dogs can turn to wolves when cornered! Don't make me bite.

ArcFall Kid 1: Very well, we can play together. uhm, here's your controller. *hands him a ps5 controller*

ArcFall Kid 3: My character will not follow my orders, sister...

ArcFall Kid 1: No, no, no! See, you're playing, you're playing, you're right there. *points to NPC*

ArcFall Kid 3 looks at his controller and at his sister's controller.

ArcFall Kid 3: Why is my controller a different color than yours? Is it a bastard?

ArcFall Kid 1: No, No! It's a very special handpicked from the gods, and it's better than mine!

ArcFall Kid 3: Sister, do you take me for a fool?

ArcFall Kid 1 realized she got caught.

ArcFall Kid 3: It's not even turned on!

ArcFall Kid 1: Brother-

ArcFall Kid 3: I have been hoodwinked...bamboozled...HORNSWOGGLED...RUN AMOK!

ArcFall Kid 1: Brother! I swear this was not of my knowledge!

ArcFall Kid 3 glares at his oldest sister before walking over to the outlet, where the switch was plugged to the TV.

ArcFall Kid 3: Then I have no choice.

ArcFall Kid 1: Brother....what are you conspiring?

ArcFall Kid 3: You're Tyranny has gone on far enough!

ArcFall Kid 1: What of my progress!?

ArcFall Kid 1: I have not saved this game! All of my work will be gone in the name of petty revenge!

ArcFall Kid 3: You call it petty, I call it justice. *unplugs game*

ArcFall Kid 1 stares darkly at ArcFall Kid 3.

ArcFall Kid 1: Brother, you've lost your head...*balls hand into a fist* But I can help you find it.

ArcFall Kid 3 inches to the door, ready to run.

ArcFall Kid 1: You have three seconds.

She holds up her hand.

ArcFall Kid 1: One...Two...Three

ArcFall Kid 3 was out the door as his eldest sister gave chase.

[spahhzy]

I still love this video whenever I see it pop up on my feed somewhere.

Why?

Jaune: ...why are you giving this too me?

Ah yes, one Jaune Arc looked at the leader of Team RWBY from JNPR's doorway, One Ruby Rose whomst was currently holding a box. Smiling, while wearing a red santa hat.

The way Ruby was carrying said box it looked like it was a bit heavy for her, with how her posture looked. Normal knees slightly bent and holding the rather mid sized box slightly below her midsection.

Ruby: It's a present for you!

Jaune just raised an eyebrow.

Jaune: you...do know it's like...summer right?

Ruby: Yeah!

Jaune: ...did Nora show you the 'Dick in the box' video?

Ruby: Yeah!

Jaune:...now as strange as this is to ask...and I'm certain I'll ask more stranger things down the line...is your dick or something resembling a dick in the box.

Ruby: Nooo!

Still not convinced, seven sisters and their pranks have trained him over the years.

Jaune: Could you extend your arms and give me the box?

Ruby, clutching the box: Just open the box Jaune!

Jaune sighed as he just decided to get it over with at least it wasn't a Yang prank.

He reached into the box as Ruby just stayed smiling and clutching onto the box. Surprisingly it wasn't a dick or any of the sort...in the box. It was.

Jaune: aww a new pumpkin pete shirt thanks Rube's

Jaune held it up to his face admiring it a bit before lowering it and to his shock their was Ruby...naked as the day she was born. Smiling still and holding the box all the same.

Jaune: what the fu-

He could get no more words in because Ruby started running towards him.

Ruby: Swigity Swoogty I'm coming for that Arc Booty!

Jaune could only scream as he ran past Nora and Ren, and not far behind was Ruby chasing after her noodle.

Ren: ....

Nora: and you said I can't give good advice! Ha!

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Jaune laid on the concrete, exhausted, as Ruby looked down with concern.

"You going to be okay, Jaune?" She asked, and all Jaune could do was give her a thumbs up.

"Go to your team, Ruby. I'll be fine...imma just lay here for a moment...soak in the moonlight, " He told her, giving her his best smile.

Ruby giggled, the concern still their but if Jaune said he was okay, then she believed him. Off she went to go reunite with her team and speak with Blake about what happened.

Jaune watched her leave as he sighed as the pain from getting throttled began to fade away.

'Bleep'

Jaune pulled out his scroll.

'Sherbert': Sorry for all that, Kid. Thanks for the heads up, I owe you one.

Jaune rolled his eyes.

Jaune: Yeah, sure, I'll hold you to it. How's the Gremlin?

Sherbet: Upset, you know she detest hurting you.

Jaune: I know, tell her I love her and that we'll go on a nice date when all this is over.

Sherbert: Tell her yourself, I am no cupid.

Jaune: You suck.

Sherbet: Love you too, get some rest, school in the morning, Do-Gooder.

Jaune sighed and put his scroll back in his pocket before getting up, winicng at the pain he felt, Jaune looked over to Team RWBY, happy to see things getting resolved, it made him feel good.

"Jaune Arc!" eyes widening as their stamping towards him with hell on her heels was his partner Pyrrha, accompanied by Nora and Ren.

Oh boy, he did not like the look in those green eyes.

Maybe lying to your partner and saying you're going to the library to study only for you to end up on local news television ensuring your best friend, and love of your life make a clean get away.. wasn't really the smartest thing to do, huh Jaune?

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I gave a silent giggle as I stood back to back with the blonde knight.

"Are you tired, my Knight-or are you still stunned to be working with me rather than against me~" The Knight could only blush at my expression as he stammered for a response.

"S-stop with the signing a-and focus!" The smile I had widened even more as I plunged hush into one of the White-Fang's chest and kicking him off.

"Oh my dearest Knight, I can do nothing but focus here~" as I watched him stand in front of me and block an incoming attack, I bent down right next to his ear, giving it a little nibble, the action causing him to shudder.

"The question is: why can I only focus on your handosme face?"

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JauneCat 🤝 The Batman Who Laughs.

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Rusted Knight.

Tarnished Spartan.

Frosted Empress.

Withered Rose.

Lich Dragon.

Frayed Ninja.

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Neo: 'Have you been talking to my boyfriend?'

Jaune waves in the background.

Yang: I haven't been talking to your boyfriend...

Neo: ...

Yang: Your boyfriend been talking to me!

Neo: 'Excuse me!? Why would he be talking to you? You look like a mess! '

Yang: And you look like you're balding with that missing hairline!

Jaune looks on nervously.

Jaune stares blankly out into space.

Jaune: All i did was ask Yang for a pencil...

Neo: The only thing missing is 'your mom', and that is why you're such a homewrecker!

Jaune: Well, that will do it.

Yang: *enraged* hiyah!

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Jaune: Yellow slash! *hits Cinder*

Cinder: Okay, you learned one new move, no big deal...

Jaune: Yellow slash! *hits Cinder again*

Cinder: Ow! What the fuck is going on!?

Jaune: Yellow slash! *hits Cinder again*

Cinder: Ow! Jaune, stop!

Jaune: Yellow slash! *hits Cinder again*

Cinder: Ow! What the fuck!?

Jaune: Yellow slash! *hits Cinder again*

Cinder: This actually makes no fucking sense...

Jaune: *hits Cinder again*

Cinder: *holds hands up* Jauney, please!

-looking on-

Neo: ...

Ruby: ...

Weiss: ...

Ruby/Weiss: DIBS!

Weiss and Ruby look at each other.

Weiss: Share?

Ruby nods: Share.

Both Ruby and Weiss look to let Neo know that Jaune is theirs, but only saw an empty spot.

-on the battlefield-

A crumpled Cinder laid defeated as Jaune breathed heavily, raising Crocea Mors in victory.

Jaune: Yeah, gonna fall now...

And he was about to when he felt someone hold him up. He looked down at his savior and saw a familiar dual color hair.

Jaune: ...hey Neo..

Neo: 👋

Jaune: Thanks for catching me. uhm, you can let me down, I just need to rest a bit...

Neo: 🫡

Neo sits down on the ground and gently drags Jaune down so he can lay down, and to his surprise, Neo leads his head into her lap, Jaune wanted to protest but the feeling of Neo's hand running through his hair felt really good and the want to protest vanished as Jaune fell into a peaceful sleep just in time for Ruby and Weiss to see.

Neo: 😁😈🖕

Weiss/Ruby: You win this round...

[spahhzy]

this made my day