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Haven’t been on here in a while… hey..

Might try uploading more in the future idk. How’s everyone?

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Season 15 will be the final season of Supernatural. 

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me: *constantly making jokes about how ridiculous it is that supernatural is still running after so many years* 

also me: *sobbing like a baby over the fact that season 15 is gonna be the last season* 

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saving people, hunting things. the family business.

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Supernatural

I don’t really have any words. I’m gonna miss this show like crazy. I’ve been a fan long enough to see it become a guilty pleasure of mine. Six years ago my heart broke because my favourite band at the time announced they broke up, but this hurts me so much more for some reason. Maybe it’s because I grew up with it. Got out of my depression with it. Met new people with it. I don’t know.

I’m gonna miss Dean Winchester.

I’m gonna miss Sam Winchester.

I’m gonna miss Castiel.

I’m going to miss each and every person who made this show so damn special to me.

I can’t really articulate how I’m feeling right now, but I’ll leave you with the knowledge that endings are hard.

Love you guys so much!

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Me: *shows up like 5 months late without a Starbucks because I’m not a fan of hot drinks*

Me:

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Fool Me Once (Brendon Urie Fanfiction) - Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first Panic!/Brendon fic on this blog, and even though it’s up on my Wattpad with perhaps a more tailored audience, I want to upload it here and perhaps bring in some new people to the wonderful world of Panic! At The Disco. So, without further ado; enjoy!

About: "It's always been annoying to me whenever people ask me who my dad is, because - well how the hell should I know? I've never been told a blessed thing about him..." Ali never knew about her dad. All she had was a faded photograph of him from god-knows-when. When she moves to LA with her mum and stepfather, things are bound to change.

Trigger Warnings: Long Lost Father (what else is new in my fics though?) - That’s pretty much it.

Word Count: 2331

Tag List: (If you want to be added, just ask!) Because this is new and a P!ATD fic I decided not to tag my usual SPN blogs, but if you want to still be added, just let me know! :)

It’s always been annoying to me whenever people ask me who my dad is, because – well how the hell should I know? I’ve never been told a blessed thing about him, and I’ve learned from a young age not to ask. All I know is that him and my mum met at school, he was a year older than her, and that’s pretty much it.

“Are you all packed, Zalika?” Mum asked. I rolled my eyes.

“I didn’t even do anything wrong.” I said. She looked at me quizzically.

“Yeah, I know.” She said. Now it was my turn to be confused.

“Then why didn’t you call me Ali?” I asked. She only ever calls me by my full first name when I’m in trouble. She smiled slightly.

“I just worry about you sometimes. I mean, we’re moving to a whole other continent. You didn’t even seem to bat an eyelid when I shared the news.” She said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Mum, we’ve been over this. There’s nothing left for me here. Not since-“ I began, but I couldn’t finish my sentence. The memory was just too fresh. “Besides, I’ve always wanted to visit America, and now we’re going to live in LA. I can’t wait.” I finished.

“Okay sweetie. So, have you?” She asked. I looked up at her in confusion. She scoffed in humour. “Have you finished packing?”

“Oh. Yeah. Just one thing.” I said.

“Okay princess. We’ll wait in the car.” She said referring to my step-dad, Keith. I can’t stand Keith. But, it’s best for me not to even think or acknowledge him. Instead, I went to my secret space, and pulled out the photograph I’ve had with me my whole life. A secret photograph my mum had no clue even existed.

“Granny, who’s my daddy?” I asked.

“You know we can’t talk about that.” She said. I ignored what she said and sat down on the counter.

“What does he look like?” I asked. She sighed and handed me a photo from the top of her cupboard.

“If your mother ever finds it, just say you found it exploring in my attic.” She said.

I smiled slightly at the memory. Gran was always so nice to me. She had me wrapped around her finger. I can’t believe I was so young and managed to keep that secret to this day. And, in her memory, I would never reveal what my grandmother gave me.

I put the picture carefully in my purse, which I then put in my handbag. I then walked out the house. The only house that could withstand me for 16 years. It was bittersweet. This is something I’ve always wanted, but at the same time, it would be hard to see that part of my life go.

Soon enough, we were on the plane on our way to LA. Keith and my mum were luckily sat somewhere away from me. Mum said she’d find me when we landed. So it was pretty much just me and my music for 11 hours. Not that I was complaining. To me, I don’t listen to enough music – and I listen to it all the time.

True to her word, once we landed, mum found me. We got off the plane and made our way to baggage claim. Once we got everything – which were just suitcases full of the bare essentials at the moment – we went to get the car.

“Okay, off we go.” Keith said. I rolled my eyes at his optimism. He was always so nice. But he got on my nerves so much I could hardly stand it.

“Okay, Ali. When we get there, you get to pick your room. You can have whatever one you want apart from the master on the top floor.” Mum said. Damn. How many floors are there?

“You’re gonna love Encino, Ali. It’s a lovely neighbourhood. You’re gonna go to one of the top schools-“ Keith droned on.

“Okay.” I said, interrupting him so he didn’t have to talk more.

“Ali!” Mum warned. I put my headphones in, even though my battery had died. I just wanted them to think I was listening to music so I didn’t have to talk to them.

Once we got to the house my mouth went slightly agape. It was friggin’ huge! How the hell were they able to afford this place? Even on Keith’s salary it still seemed steep.

I got out of the car as soon as we parked to find which room I should have. It was like this huge maze I had to zig zag through, but eventually I found the perfect room.

“Oh hell yes!” I confidently claimed. It was a huge room that even had sofas in it. It had dark wooden flooring, light cream walls, and different shades of blue on all the furnishings. It was gorgeous.

“Have you seen your bathroom yet?” She asked.

“I have my own bathroom?” I asked excitedly. She pointed towards a door that I thought was just a wardrobe, but when I walked in I was so deliriously happy. It had a bathtub with jets as well as a completely separate shower. Everything was amazing.

“Okay. Get an early night. I can’t believe you want to start school so soon after moving.” She said, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Best to start sooner rather than later.” I said. She kissed me on the forehead than left my room. I can’t believe how amazing this is. I had a door that lead right to the patio, and the pool was literally 2 seconds away from me. I’m more than excited to start my new life here.

My alarm clock jolted me out of a dreamless sleep. The sun beamed in through the glass door, and it was then I remembered where I was. I got up, showered in my incredible shower, dried my hair, did some light makeup, then got dressed. I didn’t want to make too much of a statement as I was only gonna be the new girl once. I just wanted to be easily approachable but at the same time I wanted to show my personality a bit.

Because it was so hot, hotter than I’m used to in England this time of the year, I wore a Joan Jett vest top, some light blue denim shorts, some colourful pumps with no tall heel, and some jewellery. Including the necklace I had since I was born. I don’t know why, but whenever I wear it, I feel some sort of connection to my father. Like he was there. Maybe he was, I don’t know. But it makes me feel safe and protected. I picked up my backpack with a sprinkles pattern on it, and packed what I needed for the day. I then remembered I had my dad’s photograph in my handbag. I quickly tried to find a place to hide it. I decided on this box with a key on the top shelf of my wardrobe. I just hoped mum didn’t have a spare key for it.

I left a note for mum who was still sleeping. Not that I could blame her. I was pretty exhausted from the flight. Nonetheless, I told her I went to school and that I had my phone on me so she could check in. It was an easy school to find anyway. A big building with a white and blue colour scheme. Plus it was only a block or two away.

The receptionist smiled at me as I walked in.

“Hello there.” She said. I’m gonna have to get used to this American accent thing.

“Hi. I’m a new student starting today.” I said.

“Of course! You must be Zalika!” She smiled, shaking my hand.

“Please, call me Ali.” I said with a smile on my face. She’s so cheerful it was infectious.

“Okay Ali, well, I’ll get the principal to come straight away. If you want, you can take a seat right there.” She pointed to this row of blue chairs at the other side of the room. It was busy already. Lots of admin staff were photocopying, shredding, making phone calls. Okay – I didn’t know exactly what they were doing, but that’s what it seemed like.

After watching the staff hard at work for the best part of 5 minutes, my name was called. I looked up to see Principal Redd smiling at me. I smiled back and stood up.

“Come to my office.” He said, gesturing for me to follow him. Which I did. There were tonnes of students walking around, getting to their next class, and just catching up with their friends. Once we reached Principal Redd’s office, I sat down opposite him.

“So, Zalika-“ He began.

“Ali, please.” I said.

“Of course, Ali. I want to make sure you do well here. Your mother and I spoke only briefly on the phone. But I want to hear from you personally. What subjects are you into?” He asked.

“I like creative writing, like making my own stories. But mainly I love performing arts. I want to be an actress some day.” I answered.

“An artist some may say. Okay. You’re a creative type I can see.” He said. Is everyone in the states this cheerful and kind? I hope not. Not because I don’t like being cheerful myself. But because it might get slightly grating.

“That’s okay, right?” I asked.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” He asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t know. It’s just at my old school it was kind of discouraged. And my mum wants me to be able to have a proper career. A job that makes money or something.” I said.

“Well, here we encourage every student’s passion – whatever that may be. I see you’ve passed your latest exams in math, English, science. The core subjects. That’s fantastic!” He said, sticking his thumbs up. I smiled slightly. It wasn’t that easy.

“Yeah.” I said with a convincing smirk on my face.

“Okay. Well, seeing as you passed those exams, I’d be fine letting you do the subjects you choose. But you have to do at least four. So, I’m gonna give you a list, and I hope to see in five minutes you’ve circled the subjects you want to take this year.” He said. I nodded my head. I thought it was gonna be easy.

It wasn’t.

Creative writing was on there, which was great. So was drama and music – my main passions in performing arts. That was good too. But then I had a hard time picking the last. There were a lot to choose from, but none I particularly liked. Gym? No. I’m not exactly a sporty person. Math? Never again. Art? I hate the feeling of pencil on paper. So what should I choose?

“Wait. Is singing separate from music?” I asked, checking over the list.

“Yes, that’s right. Music in the performing arts section is all music, instruments, singing, keeping a beat. Singing is what it says on the tin.” He said. I smiled, circling it.

“Okay. Finished.” I said.

“Fantastic!” He said, sticking his thumbs up again. That’s already getting slightly too peppy for me. I smiled anyway.

“So, I’m gonna ask you to go back to reception where the lovely Mae will print off your timetable. If you have any questions, just ask her. I hope you have a lovely time here.” He said, opening his door again.

“Thank you sir!”

“My pleasure. Be good.” He said. I left to go to the reception, and Mae, the woman who I met before, printed off a brand-new timetable. Singing was first.

“Okay. That’s at the auditorium. You can’t miss it. The big building across campus. Oh, and here!” She said, passing me a note. “It’ll explain who you are and why you’re late to the teacher.” She said.

“Thank you Mae.” I said. I strolled towards the auditorium. It was huge. When I opened the door, a load of faces turned towards me.

“Hi.” I said awkwardly. The teacher walked towards me and I handed her the note. She smiled at me.

“Class, listen up! We have a new student starting today. I want everyone to give her a warm welcome.” She said to the class, who all ended up cheering for me. I giggled.

“What’s your name?” A girl at the back asked.

“Ali Lawson.” I answered.

“Cool. Come sit down.” She said, gesturing towards the seat next to her. I smiled and gladly sat. They seemed nice, but crazy like a bucket of frogs. I think I may fit in well here. “I’m Gen.” She said.

“Okay class settle down!” The teacher said. “I know it’s still the beginning of the year, but we’re all here to learn, right? Now, in case you didn’t know, I’m Miss Markham. I’ve been here for 4 years, and one thing I can’t stand is wasting time.” She said.

“What are we gonna perform this semester?” The guy next to Gen asked.

“Well, I know you guys were begging last year, so we’ll be performing Mad as Rabbits by Panic! At the Disco.” She answered. I turned to Gen.

“Why do I recognise them?” I asked.

“Panic! At the Disco. They’re a band, pretty famous around here because the lead singer lives in this town.” She whispered back. I nodded my head in acknowledgement.

“And were all doing solos!” You can pick a song from the list I hand out. Ali, since you’re new, I’m gonna let you pick first.” Miss Markham said. She handed me quite an extensive list.

“Last Hope by Paramore.” I claimed. I heard a couple of groans, but apart from that, everyone seemed fine with my choice. They must’ve wanted different songs.

“Okay. We’re all looking forward to hearing you sing that.” Miss Markham said. Honestly, I was bricking it.

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Here’s the deal...

So, I haven’t been on in a while because I was hit by a bad case of depression (tm) and I always have to be in the right mindset to write. Now I’m travelling up the country to see my sister this week, but if I find any time before then to upload something I will. If not, you’ll get some new content when I come back. I plan to upload my Brendon/Panic! fic part one first, then I’ll try and write a part two to When We Were Young. I have PLANS people!

In the meantime, I want to thank so many of you who’ve commented, liked, and asked about my writing. I’ll answer and reply to each and every one of you soon. I swear! (And if you’ve asked to be tagged, the answer is of course you can!)

Anyway, thank you for being awesome as always! Love ya’ll!

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I’m gonna try and upload something a little later on...

It’s not SPN related. In fact, it’s Brendon Urie related. I’ve already uploaded like 4? Chapters on my Wattpad so unless you guys have any serious objections, I’m gonna upload the first one here when I wake up!

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i-wish-everything-would-be-okay replied to your post: Question

Yessssss!!!!! Please upload them on here!!!

That’s one vote for more fics other than SPN on here. Anyone else? :)

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Question

Hey guys! I know I’ve been MIA for like a week, but I recently got into P!ATD big time. So I’ve been writing fics about that on Wattpad. Question is, would you guys want me to upload them here too? Like, any fics I write. Then I’d be on this blog a lot more and be more likely to update. Or would you rather it was solely an SPN blog?

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Question

Hey guys! I know I’ve been MIA for like a week, but I recently got into P!ATD big time. So I’ve been writing fics about that on Wattpad. Question is, would you guys want me to upload them here too? Like, any fics I write. Then I’d be on this blog a lot more and be more likely to update. Or would you rather it was solely an SPN blog?

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I don’t upload a lot of selfies, or personal pictures in general. But this is my fave picture of me that’s been taken in years! Okay, sorry for interrupting your usual blogging! You may continue! :)

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Describe my blog in terms of "came for the _____, stayed for the _____"

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I don't know how I never read anything from you before, because it's awesome! ❤

You’re sure sending a lotta love my way. I really appreciate it! :D Thank you so much. I’m so happy you’re enjoying what I write! And thank you for the feedback. This fandom sure loves their angst, it’s the most popular genre of what I write. :P Anyway, here’s to many more stories and stuff! :D

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When We Were Young

A/N: I think this could be the beginning of a series if enough people are interested; but for now, it’s just my part in @waywardnewcomer‘s challenge. Hope it fits the bill my lovely!

TW’s: Angst, Abandonment, Foster System

Word Count: 1416

Tag List:  @winchesters-favorite-girl @winchester-writes @storyofawinchester @rosie-winchester @bea789

I can never escape him. Every time I turn a corner, his show is getting advertised. Or someone somewhere has reposted his face and it’s spread all over my timeline. The whole world loves him for Christ’s sake. And here I am. The daughter he left behind. I was making my way back to my foster home when I saw a billboard with his face plastered on it. Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki star in a brand-new series of Supernatural this October. As if I didn’t already know. And every so often, when I look into his eyes, I remember when Jensen – my dad – would raise me up in his arms and give me a hug.

Just taken Holly to the shops to get her school uniform for after summer. Dinner’s in the microwave. X

My foster mother, Jodie, always loves to write me notes. Anything she expects to be out of the ordinary, or even if it is ordinary, she’d write me a note to confirm. I gotta admit. I got pretty lucky with her. Even though I could be difficult. But this is the one thing we didn’t expect. The one thing she couldn’t leave a note out for.

A simple ring on the doorbell that knocked my whole life out of kilter.

I sauntered towards the door, expecting it to be my boyfriend. Because who else would it be?

“Hey, Alexis.” My father, Jensen Ackles, greeted. It had been almost five years to the day that I would’ve received even a card. I can barely remember when I last saw the man outside of the telly. And I dreamt about this moment. I really had. And never, in all the time I imagined it, did I take the glass of water I held in my hand and throw it in his face. Funny how reality can differ from dreams so much.

“Yeah. I guess I deserve that.” He added.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I cried. I never expected I would get so emotional.

“I, uh… can I come in? Actually, where’s Jodie?” He asked.

“Taking care of her kid.” I said maliciously.

“Come on, Alexis. Please don’t be like that.” He begged.

“Don’t be like what, exactly? They never give you a dictionary for words to use when you abandon your daughter?” I asked.

“Where’s Jodie?” He repeated, seemingly getting sick of my attitude. Well, I don’t care. I don’t think I do anyway.

“Out.” I said, walking into the house. I left the door open, not really caring whether he stayed or left. He’s left before. I wouldn’t be surprised if he did it again. I sat down on my couch and turned on the tv.

Instead of saying anything, he just sat down next to me. I tried my best to ignore him. But every so often I would hear him breath heavily, or he would scratch his stubble. And I would get increasingly more agitated. I got up and went to the kitchen. I didn’t think I could stomach whatever was in the microwave today. I just looked out the window and into the front garden.

“Remember, Alexis. I love you. Forever and ever, okay?” Daddy said. Why is he being so scary.

“I love you too.” I said. I did mean it, but I felt like I kind of had to say it.

“Come on Alexis. I baked you a cake.” Jodie said. I smiled and scurried inside to see it.

I cried at the memory of seeing him last. It was just outside my house. I’ve been here for as long as I could do simple maths sums, and here he is all of a sudden. He must’ve heard me sniffling, because he came and hugged me.

“I’m sorry.” He said. I shrugged him off me.

“You didn’t even say why!” I shouted. “You didn’t say why, and you didn’t speak to me since. I was fucking six years old!”

“Let me explain-“

“No! I had friends in the playground read an article to me. About how you left me in England because you had a new project and you and mum couldn’t look after me. Do you know how hard that was? Not just thinking the worst was true, but having people you know confirm it for you?”

“No, I don’t…” He said disappointedly.

“And the worst part is that you still look the same. You have the same hair, the same eyes. You smell like you did and your voice is still deep, and it kills me.” I sobbed. At this point I had sunk to the laminate floor. “You’re exactly the same as you used to be.”

He had tears in his eyes too.

“What do you want me to say, Lexi? Sorry? That’s not enough.” He said.

“It would at least be a start. But I wouldn’t want to hear hollow words from the likes of yourself.”

“I did my best to get back to you when I could-“ He started. I scoffed.

“I know you did your best. But it just wasn’t enough.”

The keys jingled in the lock, signifying that Jodie and Holly had come home.

“Hiya, are you in, Alexis?” Jodie called for me.

“In the kitchen.” I said as loud as I could. She must’ve just heard me. I was struggling to breathe on the kitchen floor as she came in.

“What’s going… oh.” She said dejectedly.

“Mum, can I have some ice cream?” Holly asked as she walked in.

“Um, just two scoops. It’s in the garage.” Jodie answered, steering her away.

“Hi Jodie.” Jensen said.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve.” She said, pointing at him.

“I’m here to make amends. Please, just give me a chance?” He asked Jodie, then he turned to face me. “Look, I was a dick of a father. I know that. I can’t change the past, but I’m hoping I can be there for you now.” He said.

“How could you possibly be there for me?” I asked angrily. He looked like he was getting ready for what he was about to say. Like he was expecting a lot of shouting to commence.

“I have two tickets back to Texas. The offer will always stand. Whenever you’re ready.” He said. I cried even more. Why is he doing this to me.

“That’s enough. Can’t you see what you’re putting her through?” Jodie yelled.

“You can’t do that. You can’t just take me back when you’re ready.” I mumbled through my suffocating tears.

“What do you want me to do? I can’t say anything right now to make you feel better, but I can try to make things right for as long as I’m alive. That’s all I ask.” He said.

“You can go.” Jodie said.

“Can I have just five minutes with him?” I asked, through sobs. Jodie sighed, but nodded her head and went to find Holly.

“Why didn’t you even send a card?” I asked. He looked down at the floor, seemingly disgusted with himself.

“Because JJ was born by then. I was too focussed on her, and then as the years went on and the twins were born I didn’t want them to start asking questions.” He answered, with tears dripping down his face. And for some reason, I turned calm. Calmer than I ever had been. I didn’t want to hear anymore.

“Well, maybe when I’m older. Maybe when you prove yourself to be committed to me. I’ll think about visiting. But right now, the answer’s a definite no, Jensen.” I said. He winced at that. I don’t think I’d ever called him anything other than Dad.

“Okay, sweetheart. Whenever you’re ready. I’ll be sending you texts, videos, cards, flowers, you name it. I want you in my life. You don’t know how hard it’s been without you.” He said. I stray tear rolled down my cheek. “Remember Alexis,” He said, as he wiped my tear away. “I love you. Forever and ever, okay?”

This time I didn’t say anything. I got up, took the photograph from the top of the counter. The last photo of us together. I didn’t think I needed it anymore.

“To remember me by.” I said. He looked down sadly, nodded his head, then left. I looked out the window and saw him walk away. He looked lost even though I knew he knew where he was going.

My god, this reminds me of when we were young.

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Stay Beautiful - Chapter 5

A/N: SORRY IT’S TAKEN THIS LONG TO UPLOAD ANOTHER CHAPTER!! Seriously. I have an addiction to beginning stories and the tendency to not finish them so much. But I never abandon them, I swear! Anyway, ENJOY!

Trigger Warnings: Kidnap, Missing child

Word Count: 1720

Tag List:  @winchesters-favorite-girl @winchester-writes @storyofawinchester @rosie-winchester @bea789  @inkedinpastel @alicat-life @wayward-marvel-sommer1196 @straightasdeanwinchester @unicorndreamer1622 @internationalmusicteacher@xdsockmonkey @lolawinchesterr @super100012 @daughterleftbehind

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