spoonsandtunes

[spoonsandtunes]

To dream is to bleed

Parings: Jasper Hale x Human! Reader

A/N: Hey so i actually hate this! but I have started reading Dracula, and have been heavily influenced with this new stalker type vampire. so you will just have to settle for this while i try to rack my brain and see if i can make a part two of The Ache of Almost!

Warnings: Yandere vibes, lots of gore, graphic gore, stalking, fear, all that stuff

Word count: 4.8K

The thump in your ear never died down, not for a second as you sat still as a statue on your white bed spread. At least, it was white a moment ago; but you supposed somehow within the flurry of things, you must not have noticed the crimson red colour seep out from unknown wounds and stain the cotton of your sheets.

The blood was thicker than you had ever seen, and it rolled down your legs in large droplets, pooling by your feet on the hard laminate floor. Your eyes rolled back in your head slowly, as you felt a dull ache erupt through your body, everything around you was foggy and unclear. Your head and body felt heavy, as if you were in a drugged state, and you wondered in the back of your mind if this was a dream. No- not a dream, but a nightmare. Though this felt too real, too vivid, to be just a nightmare that typically came after watching a horror movie. 

Where had you been before this? Your mind was too clouded to recall. Where were you now? Same answer applied. Why couldn't you get up? You didn't want too. 

Your head lulled side to side, like a slow moving pendulum, and you groaned in pain softly as you felt more blood emit from your body and soak your previously periwinkle coloured night gown. Your throat itched from how dry it was, and no matter how warm the blood felt staining your feet, the room was cold and you could see your breath in the air. 

Forcing your head to look down at your lap, you noticed that the blood that had seeped down onto the sheet at the edge of your bed came from the large gash that presented itself on your right side. You blinked, and something in you said you should feel scared, but no matter how hard you tried you were just too tired. 

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The thumping that was once only in your ear, started to seem to come from around you more then in you. You dragged your eyes up off the bloody mess in your lap, and from your immense dehydration it felt as if your eyes were going to pop out of their sockets at any moment. 

You were in your room, that much was true, but something about it was off. Maybe it was because of how cold it was, or because it seemed to have switched it self around - your bookshelf now on the far left side instead of the right, and your mirror that once was bolted to the back of your door was flat against the ceiling right at the entrance of your bedroom- or maybe it was the ominously dark corner diagonal from you, darker then any other corner in the room. 

The darkness seemed to morph and swirl within the cold air, and your dry throat allowed a breathy gasp to escape past your lips as the darkness shapeshifted into what seemed like a tall man. You barely had time to blink again, before the man was in front of you, one hand clasped over your bloody wound and the other up your night dress and gripping your bare thigh with an iron grip you were sure was going to bruise. 

His touchy was icy, and you didn't understand if it was because of the already odd temperature of the room or if his pale complexion had something to do with his evilly cold hands. The man hid his face within your hair, his nose brushing against your cheek, and even if you wanted to run or push away, you just couldn't. Too tired, too weak, too unbothered to even think of fighting. 

His fingers danced across the bloody wound, and even though you couldn't see his face- for he purposely hid it from your view- you knew a cat like grin grew on his lips as you let out a sob of pain when, slowly, he inserted one finger deep within the gash. The temperature  seemed to have dropped so much that your tears fell but froze into icicles  half way down your cheek, and your body shivered violently against the crouching stranger. "Sh sh sh," The strange man sung out, and something in your throat caught at the familiar southern accent that filled the eerie silent room. You were going to speak- scream, but in a flash the cold of the room was replaced by an eruption of heat so hot you though you had just entered the pits of hell. 

The feeling of two large stinging needles digging into the nape of your neck, like a kiss gone utterly wrong, made a heat of fire spread from the tips of your toes to your head. Fogging your brain even more then it already had been previously. Your eyelids drooped closed, as the heat consumed you, and your bloody body went limp within the strangers arms, inviting the horrific kiss in. 

"Wake up." A distance voice called out, and it took all your strength to try to keep your head up. Again the angry voice repeated itself, this time closer, but you knew the stranger holding you was not the one talking "Wake up miss Y/L/N. Wake up." 

By the third call, it was as if your head had been pulled out of an icy river and you gasped as your brain adjusted to the new surroundings that presented themselves.

Mr. Banner, your old and grumpy biology teacher stood in front of your desk, tapping his foot loudly on the plastic linoleum flooring. The bright florescent lighting within the biology room surrounded him as if he had an aura of an angel, but you knew that was far from the truth. Your eyes just needed a moment to adjust. 

"Am I boring you with my lecture, miss Y/N?" Your teacher sneered, and now as the class snickered did it set in that you really were dreaming before. As odd as the dream was, you knew all the eyes on you in your cramped biology classroom were reality and it was not whatever hell you had just escaped. You swallowed, your throat was still dry. 

You cleared your throat and sat up, "No, I-" Your voice strained and cracked a bit from the dryness and you instantly grabbed your water bottle from your table and opened it "I'm sorry," You said quickly before taking a long gulp of your water. 

Mr. Banner only grumbled as he moved back to the front of classroom and continued on his lecture of mitosis within plankton. 

You swallowed and sighed, looking down at your paper that sat in front of you. Your stomach churned and knotted in ways that you had never felt, that dream- if it even was one; for it felt too real to shake off- made you sick to your stomach. You wondered if you should excuse your self to throw up, but you doubted Mr. Banner would even let you go. 

Your right hand moved down off the desk and ghosted the area were your dream gash was, and your heart hammered so hard in your chest you imagined it hopping out from your throat and rolling around on the floor; Staining the white linoleum the same crimson red that you wondered if your bed at home looked like- thumping erratically in front of all your classmates. 

Pressing your hand into your side you couldn't help but sigh, feeling no bleeding wound or strange deformed scar. But your heart race didn't decrease, not when you looked up and swept your eyes around your classmates. 

Most had forgotten you within seconds after Mr. Banner stopped his scolding, all except two who sat on the opposite side of the room as you.

Alice Cullen watched you with wide wild eyes, her brows were knitted together so hard you wondered if they were stuck like that. All traces of her whimsical fairy bubblyness was gone, and instead a mixture of pity and fear were etched in her oddly coloured eyes. 

Jasper Hale sat one seat behind her, and he watched your every move. His face was as hard as stone, as it usually was, and his eyes mirrored the same frenzied look Alice's had. 

'What an odd pair' was all you could think as you forced yourself to cut off your eye contact with them and look back up to the front. But as you tried to take notes, your mind was plagued with replaying the awful scene that had consumed you before you were awaken in biology. 

Particularly, you couldn't get over how the strange man sounded just like the boy who had not taken his eyes off of you for the past 10 minutes. Not even when you would look over and hold eye contact with him, hoping it would give him the hint to at least pretend he wasn't staring-like his sister. 

But he seemed to be inept to social cues, and so you decided to try to shake away the feeling of his eyes and focus solely on the lecture. No more thinking of dreams. Your focus on the large white board up ahead seemed to help, and finally as the last bell for the day rang you seemed to be completely back in sorts. All traces of fear that you had when you woke up were gone, and you cold barely remember the feeling of your thumping heart. Though, the sight of Alice grabbing Jaspers arm and hissing at him made you frown. They threw you one last glance then Alice practically dragged a ridged pained Jasper out of the classroom.

Unfortunately, the fear struck back up in your heart when you were at home. 

You had walked up your old squeaky stairs to your room, finding the door shut- which was already strange considering you never close your bedroom door. And upon entering, you held back a shiver that crawled up your bony spine. You left your window open last night, which wasn't as weird as the closed door - you loved sleeping with the breeze surrounding you- but the iciness of the floor and dark room brought you right back to your previous dream. 

That night, you dreamed the same way you had done in class. This time, you lay flat on your back, pinned down on the bed by a heavy weight you couldn't make out in the dark. It was just as cold as you remembered it, and you shivered against the anchor. You were covered in blood once again, only this time the gash was not on your right side but across your neck. You felt the blood gush and spew as you tried to scream and gasp for air. You hands shot up to grab at your neck in desperation, but whatever held you down was stronger. A cold icy hand, you were sure belonging to the man from before, forced your hands by your side. 

As much as you tried to convince yourself this was not real, the fear that ate at your heart felt too frantic and too loud to ignore. The man, you assumed, dragged his hand up off your wrists and up towards your neck. He caressed your sides, and curves and murmured in a deep dark language you couldn't understand. The words were soft, and a wave of calmness washed over you as his hands faltered on your breast, almost as if they were praises slipping past his lips. As much as you tried to struggle with the new emotions that clouded your judgement, you found your self arching your back to welcome his touches. A dark twisted laugh slipped past his lips, and his hand worked up towards your slit throat.  

In an instant, the fire you knew all too well from the last night, engulfed your body and a scream- more of a gurgled struggle- crept up your torn up throat. One of the mans large icy hands clamped down on your mouth, and through the dark, he drew his face closer to yours. 

You could see nothing but two dark amber eyes, wide and frenzied looking, and the sight made your heart leap and tears tumble down your cheeks. The eyes didn't look away from yours- not even for a moment-as the heat you felt grew to scolding temperatures, as once again, the man inserted one long bony finger deep in the slit of your throat. 

If you hadn't been dreaming, you were sure you would have passed out by now, but instead you sat tied down to your bedspread as the man twisted and turned his slender fingers inside your bloody wound. You could feel his finger nails scratch the back of your throat as he punctured any intact film of skin that hadn't already been slashed. You convulsed, and your eyes rolled far back in your head, the pain unbearable. Only chocked gurgles could be heard, the sounds were that of an animal and you really doubted they came from you- but who else would be making them? 

The eyes sparkled, and hovered closer to your face, seeming to inspect your face and tears and hair. And even though you could not see any other feature of his, you heard his voice clearly when he spoke: "You are so beautiful. More beautiful then any creature I have ever seen in my centuries of living," His voice was husky and dark and the southern accent could not have been mistaken for anything else. "Oh, I think I'll really enjoy this." He said, and you could hear the smirk in his voice. 

The eyes disappeared and again you felt two long needles sink deep within the nook of your shoulder, making your body completely paralyzed, at the strangers mercy as he twisted his fingers deep within your wound. 

Your own scream woke you up, and you tied too press your face hard into your pillow. Except it wasn't there, and you breathed heavy as you looked around. You were on the floor of your room, the sheets of your bed had been torn off with you when you fell from it in the middle of the night. 

Your hands instantly grabbed at your throat, and a flood of relief came over you at the feeling of your perfectly unwounded skin. 

What was going on? You were never prone to nightmares or night terrors before, and nothing in your life had changed recently to indicate triggering a flood of them. Especially not as gruesome and realistic as the ones you were having now. 

You had hoped that school was going to keep your mind at ease from your night terrors, but the REM sleep you were having made dark eye bags appear and every class made you want to pass out- of course the fear coursing through your veins at the thought of sleep kept that from happening. 

Biology was just as strange as it had been yesterday, this time Alice kept her gaze on you firm and unwavering. Her features were all turned downwards, and her eyes- which made you shudder involuntary- showed frenzied fear and skepticism. Like she was surprised to see you in class. Did you look that bad today? 

Jasper on the other hand didn't spare you a glance. In fact, he sat back in his seat with his eyes up towards the board. You had never seen him look so relaxed in your life, his normal pained expression was gone and instead was replaced by something you couldn't put your finger on. The only way you could describe it was as if a new flame had been ignited in him. He seemed more smug, more cocky, more...southern, then you had ever seen him before. 

Lunch had come faster then it did the other day, which you were grateful for, deciding that you were going to eat lunch in your truck, alone, hoping to clear your mind and understand what was going on with this terrible reoccurring nightmare. 

Just like yesterday, Alice made the same move of pulling Jasper away from class once the bell rang. You noticed though, this time Jasper grinned and chuckled at Alices aggressive tugs on his arm. 

You saw them again in the parking lot, with the rest of their siblings, loitering outside their silver jeep. An unease crept up your spine as you glanced at them, seeing every single one of the Cullen siblings eyes on you. Once again the pity and fear was etched in all their faces- expect Jasper, who watched you with some what of a sinister smile that made you shudder. 

Upon approaching your car, your steps briefly faltered as you spotted a thick black book laying on your trucks hood. Coming closer, you picked it up and saw that the ragged thing with a broken, torn spine, was a battered copy of 'Dracula'. In the book, it had been scribbled with pen, and words and phrases were circled and underlined, chicken scratch written in the margins of every page. 

Frowning you looked around, wondering who left the book. Across the lot, the Cullen's were lost in what seemed like a heated conversation, all except one. Jasper stood, starring daggers at you and the book, with his hands stuffed deep within his jean pockets. 

Catching his eye was like a puzzle piece falling into place, his look told you that he was the one who left the book for you. But why? what could possibly be the reason he left his annotated copy of a vampire horror story for you?

Dragging your eyes away, you climbed in your truck and shut the door, making sure to lock it. Slouching in the drivers seat to make Jasper leave your line of sight, you frowned as you looked down at the leather covered book. Opening it slowly to a page that had a sticky note sticking out from the top, you began to read the words underlined in red ink.

'There are vampires. They are real, they are of our time, and they are here, close by, stalking us as we sleep.'

The frown on your face slowly grew deeper and deeper, and before you knew it it had morphed into an expression of horror when you flipped the chalky page to find a sketch of a young girl in pen on top of the hundreds of small printed words. 

There was no mistaking the girl in the sketch was you. Same body, same bed frame and almost the exact position you were in the night before. With a man, who you could only identify as Jasper, sitting on top of your waist, crouched with his head tilted by your neck, and a small line drew in red glitter ink was scribbled over your nightgown.

 Blood. 

A long phrase at the bottom of the page was circled many times over that whatever pen he used left a dent on the previous page. 

'Even if she be not harmed, her heart may fail her in so much and so many horrors; and hereafter she may suffer–both in waking, from her nerves, and in sleep, from her dreams.'

You did not need to be told twice to close the book, throwing it in your passenger seat and starting up your trucks engine. Tears sprang up slowly in your eyes, as you sat up and Jasper and his siblings came back into view. 

Jasper was doubled over laughing, hands on his knees to stabilize himself- His siblings looked furious as they looked towards your truck and back to him, but none of them made any move to scold their brother or come over to soothe you. 

You floored it all the way back to your house, thankful it was empty as you entered practically shaking and sobbing. 

There was no denying it, Jasper was the man who plagued the hellish nightmares you were having. You didn't understand how, or what he really was, but whatever him and his strange family were up to- you knew you wanted no part in it. Quickly, you shut and locked all your windows, and made your way over to your bed, collapsing in it. 

The room which once made you feel at ease, comfortable and safe- was now exactly the opposite. Your nightmares had completely plagued your sleep and waking hours, just as that wretched book had said. Now, even being in the room made you quiver with fear, your eyes leaked tears so heavy they rolled down and collected on the bottom of your chin, dripping and wetting your jeans. You curled up into a ball on your bed, and rested your head between your knees, hoping that whatever waking nightmare you were in now would disappear. 

You guessed you fell asleep, because when you finally looked up your room was dark and you could hear the rain outside. You panicked for a moment, your sleep was too quiet and dreamless compared to the past two nights. So, was what you were experiencing now your dream? 

But it wasn't the same set you were use too. No blood, no dark shadows that morphed into men, no long fingers jabbing their way into unknown wounds. Everything was still, silent, and calm. 

A wave of relief and hope washed over you as you stood up and stretched. Maybe the pass two days had all been one long vivid strange dream, and now you were finally back in reality. No more nightmares that kept you awake, no weird books on your truck hood. Everything was going to be okay. 

Unfortunately, you hoped too soon, because a gust of wind came in and wrapped itself around your body like a bony hug. Your eyes snapped toward your now open window, and then towards your bedroom door, where Jasper stood in all his sinister glory. 

A scream erupted from your throat, but was silenced in a moment as Jasper appeared in front of you and his bony fingers clamped down over your mouth. "Shhh sh sh sh," The all too familiar southern accent sang out, and tears sprang from your eyes as you struggled. Jasper frowned at your flailing  arms and tsked, "No...this wont work," he muttered, as his face came closer to your own. Just like every other dream you had, a feeling of calmness washed over you. It felt wrong, not your own, but no matter how your brain wondered why your body stopped fighting, you couldn't help but welcome it in. 

"That's better," Jasper practically cooed, and his icy grip tightened around your mouth, his other hand holding your waist so hard you though that maybe he was going to break your hip bone. Whatever strange ability he had, you didn't know what it was, but his strength was stronger then any other man you had been held by, and his ability to make you feel calmer when he practically suffocated you made your brain foggy and incoherent. 

"You're such a pretty, pretty thing," He said, and he pressed his nose deep in your cheek. He inhaled deeply. "All these years...I've perfected the routine of any, vegetarian," He pulled back and grinned at your tear soaked skin as if he just cracked a cheesy joke. "I had my control. All of it, in the palm on my hands-A perfect coven, a way to live amongst you- you humans," He ranted out and once against stuck his nose within your hair, dragging it up and down through your scent. The sweet almost sickly smell of sugar and blood filling his head and almost erasing the dark twisted thoughts that churned through his mind. "But, only one whiff of you, and I was gone." He frowned and his grip grew tighter, making you whimper against his hand. No mind trick of emotion could fade away the pain his death grip had on you. He pressed himself closer as if he wanted to merge your two bodies as one. The feeling of your own body against his and your lips on his hand was almost overwhelming for him. "Not only were you beautiful, more beautiful then any human I have seen in centuries...but oh how...good you smell." He shook against you, almost as if he was laughing, but no sound escaped his throat. Not even a hint of murmur came from him, as  he took one step and you were back on your bed, sitting at the edge and gazing up at him. Jasper lulled his head side to side, as if something had possessed his very being.

He avoided looking at you directly in the face, but soon gave up, and let you gaze upon his twisted features and blood red eyes. "I-I hadn't tasted human blood in so long, but I just couldn't help myself. Nothing in my right mind could keep me away- not even Carlisle, which to whom I made very clear when.." He trailed off and grinned ear to ear, his fingers brushed against the spot where your dream gash had been "Well, when I learnt how to manipulate your subconscious." 

Jasper dropped to his knees in front of you, his hands frantically moved down and grasped yours. Everything was happening so fast, your brain and emotions- which were yet to be your own- had no time to catch up, so you sat in a trance of calmness, but your eyes showed immense fear to the horror of a boy in front of you. "You aren't scared of me are you?" He asked earnestly, and looked up at you with crazed eyes. "See-see I planned on just killing you, draining your blood and leaving you for dead in some ditch. I mean- I promised Carlisle It would only be that-" He swallowed and his voice turned strained and husky "Oh but, after seeing how theatrical you were when I ripped you apart, doll- well I just can't leave you now. No..no," He muttered more to himself then to you. 

Jasper stopped for a moment, looking down at his own lap as his hands desperately clung on to yours. "Say, doll," He started slowly, and you could see the wheels turning in his head, as he slowly grew closer to you, rising up on his knees and pushing his face closer to yours. "Y/n," He started as he drew closer and closer to your face, his lips practically brushing yours as he spoke. "Now that I have you I can't just let you go, can I?" He wondered aloud, and whatever new wave of emotion he made tumble towards you, coaxing you, made you slowly shake your head. He moved his face back towards your ear, and he whispered so softly you barely heard him "Y/N, can I keep you?" 

At this point, the shape needles- which you now regarded as two long ivory fangs-pierced their way deep within your skin for a fraction of a second before pulling away to show an ecstatic Jasper and his bloodied mouth. Finally, from all the previous nights of silent screams, did tonight prevail. A blood curdling scream escaped your mouth at its top dial, and Jasper cringed softly. 

He was astonished that he was able to stop feeding so quickly, he thought it would have been more trouble to pull away than it had really been. Alice had seemed to skip over that detail.

Though, that didn't matter any more, non of it mattered. He just needed the venom to do it's job, and then he would take you back to the Cullen house with him. He would help you in the next few days of the immense pain you would feel, but he was prepared for that. 

The past couple nights were fun, making your unconscious  brain squirm and quiver at his touch with hellish scenes played out in front of you- but he new that it wouldn't even come close to how amazing it would be to torture you first hand. In real time. 

You collapsed on your bedroom floor, writhing as you felt the venom course through your veins. Your brain felt as if it was slowly turning to mush, and your vision was black. All you could feel was two icy hands scoop you up, and you had to admit to yourself whilst you screamed for your life, that they felt good compared to the hell fire blazing under your skin. 

"I know I know," You heard Jasper murmur in your ear as a gust of wind whipped your hair around your face. You gasped for air again and again as you felt him maneuver your body around- and every fiber of your being told you he was not taking you to bed, but far far away from your home. He began to scold you, "But what can I say? It's not my fault. You did this to yourself. I am a vampire after all."

[spoonsandtunes]

Double Date

Pairings: Jacob Black x Reader

A/N: Love confessions are the best thing to ever enter the literary scene. I'm only about half way through reading New Moon, which is very Jacob oriented, so i tried my hand at some Jacob fluff. Unfortunately, i can't write actual yearning for the life of me, and nothing i ever write is as poetic as i want to convey or give off without like 30 years of festering and thinking. But, i just know that once i read Midnight Sun i'll be writing the most horrifically heart wrenching Edward fic known to human existence. But that will take a hot minute- probably a couple months. So, in the mean time, enjoy my attempt at a shitty love confession with Jake.

Word count: 3.4K

It wasn't often that the small town of Forks, Washington got something as big as a travelling carnival to stop in town for the weekend. But, the state was on the west coast and that meant that the town was lucky enough to be included in the new West Coast Fair that made its way along the coast line.

It was big news, every day of the weekend the fair was set up, it was just as crowded as the last. Family's with small children and tiny pets flooded the gates during the sun light hours, and as the sun began to set and the moon replaced it, the fair would turn on their blue and purple fairy lights strung from lamp post to lamp post and cater their attractions to the more mature audience, thus making the teenagers and troublesome youth appear.

You and your friends were no different, and you were so happy something fun was happening in your usual boring town. At least to everyone else it was boring, for you it was the most thrilling place on the planet, filled with werewolf's and vampires battling to the death.

Jacob had been busy with god knows what when the fair first set up, so you went with your friends instead. But even before, he showed no real interest in the fair. He was too occupied with patrolling the boundaries of Quileute land and whatever the Cullen family had done that week. 

So, when he brought up the idea of going on the last day the carnival was in Forks, you were surprised. Of course that surprise soon replaced itself with a hollow ache and disappointment when you realized the real reason for Jacobs sudden interest in the fair.

That interest walked in the form of a petite pale girl and her tall muscular vampire boyfriend a few meters ahead of you.

You had never had a boyfriend before, and, if someone were to ask you if it was because of the lack of male attention you got growing up or because you were such a hopeless romantic that was waiting out for "the one", you really didn't know. But for peace of mind, you tried not to think about how your face was a bit rounder then the next, or how your legs were too short and fingers too stubby. 

Nevertheless, you did feel that the waiting and the yearning paid off in the end. Because now not only did you have a 6'7 superhuman shapeshifter boyfriend, but you were his imprint, and you knew that in the long run - you were always going to mean more to him then an old fling. 

You shared a lot with Jacob, at least on your part. First love, first kiss, first time. It meant a lot to you, even if he experienced things before you. He never rushed you, at least he tried not to. but just like you, Jake was only human - shapeshifter or not.

  As someone who was never asked to prom, or been approached at a bar or on the street, you spent most of your days thinking of the things that were yet to come. Amazing first dates you wanted to experience, and matching outfits you would buy with your future boyfriend. Out of everything ever imagined, double dates had always seemed like a dream so out of reach. When Jacob and you finally got together, your friends were either not in relationships or Jake never wanted to go. All in all, the timing just never seemed to a line. 

But you use to dream about them. Dream about having a boyfriend who was so madly in love with you, someone who practically had their fingers in the folds of your brain, who understood every movement and every word you said. This would be the person who would break bread with your family and show you off to their friends, it would be right out of a fairy tail. 

Of course though, Hollywood makes love seem so magical compared to what it really was. A real juxtaposition. And unfortunately for you, you found that out sooner than later. 

But you really couldn't complain, because Jacob treated you so well. Like you were a planet that he revolved around like a mesmerized moon. Never once harming you. And, he gave you what you always wanted the most, a double date. Even if it was with someone who made you feel just like an insecure middle school girl. 

When Jake and you got together, you didn't expect to feel so insecure about his past relationship with Bella. But for every first you were having with him, he already his-with her. 

That was the strange thing about imprints. If you looked at the big picture, Jacob didn't choose you. 

The elders in the council described it more like, Jacob was gifted you. The words were suppose to be meaningful, and bring comfort to the terror that imprinting on another has. Instead, they brough nothing but cold and hollowness to your situation. 

You wondered, if Jacob had not been practically forced to imprint on you by some greater force no one could really explain, would he still feel the way he does now? 

Maybe it was a stupid thought, but it was what plagued your mind whenever Jacob dragged you along to do some painfully stupid double date stuff with his best friend and her own off-putting boyfriend. And even if a part of you knew it was because he loved you - the thought of bringing you along being primarily out of guilt never failed to cross your mind.

He felt guilty for still being so unraveled and intertwined with a girl he once loved, guilty for not being able to let her go even when he had you right under his arm. Guilty for things that he said before he met you. Words that practically haunted you in your sleep. 

"I'm exactly right for you Bella. It would be as easy as breathing with me."

The words were said when he was practically on his death bed, saving Bella from yet another angered vampire clan, so you tried not to hold it against him. Even if every fiber in your being wanted too.

You had to admit, the situation was embarrassing. It ate at your core. The whole pack knew how infatuated Jacob was with Bella, and so when he had imprinted on someone other then her it was talk of the town.

Jacob would never admit it, but he was just as surprised as well.

So, here you were, tucked under Jakes arm, walking leisurely through the crowded grounds of the dimly light carnival. Even though you were pressed up against him, his large warm body enveloping you, his eye were trained ahead.

Following his gaze, you saw that he was practically staring daggers at the back of Edwards head. You sighed. "You didn't tell me Bella was going to be here," You tried to get the brooding hatred that rolled of of him like a wave in a tsunami to stop, but he barley spared you a glance when he responded. 

"Oh," he murmured, his eyes still trained ahead, shifting from Edward to Bella who mimicked the position you and Jacob were in. You didn't miss the way his eyes soften slightly. "Must have slipped my mind" Is all he said before going back to glare at Edward. 

The hatred between the two boys was absolutely ridiculous in your mind, but you refrained from saying anything. You knew that it would just be a fight waiting to happen, it usually was. When it came to vampires, no werewolf held any common sense. And besides, you supposed that Edward hated Jacob just as much, so maybe it was okay for him to stoop just as low as Edward did. 

Edward was someone who you just couldn't quiet put your finger on. He was an odd fellow, that's for sure, even if you took away the whole blood-sucking aspect. You wondered how he was able to act so content towards the fact that Jacob and Bella were still friends - you admired it honestly. 

That being said, Edward still treated Jacob like crap, but it came more from the werewolf hatred he fostered then from jealousy of his and Bella's friendship. And you assumed that by extension the hatred was directed towards you as well, but every time you were face to face with him, he seemed to look at you with pity etched deep within his amber eyes.

A reoccurring thought crossed your mind that maybe Edward was able to see your deep insecurity towards your own relationship that came from Jacobs past lover. 

Your steps faltered a bit, not enough for any normal person to notice, but of course  for Jacob it was easy. For the first time since you got to the carnival and met Edward and Bella at the doors, did he fully look down at you. His face was etched with a new found worry, and all traces of what distracted him before were washed away. "What's wrong?" he was quick to jump the gun, stopping your walk all together.

One thing that kept you grounded in your relationship was that no matter how much Jake let himself get distracted by things that were not you, when the mate bond tugged at his heart and told him something was wrong, he would drop everything and be so consumed in your being. As selfish as it made you out to be, these were the moments you craved. Where he let everything crumble around him and worry about nothing but your soul. 

These were the moments you wanted to rub in Bella's face.

But you couldn't, because she didn't do anything wrong. She had been Edwards since day one. No could get between them, and your insecurities were nothing but your own problem. 

Jacob treated you well, and Bella had been nothing but respectful of you and Jakes boundaries. Any issue you had was internal. 

Though this didn't stop you from just shrugging at Jacobs question, and stepping back unconsciously to create some distance between you two, so you could look up at his face. He looked unconvinced. "Are you hungry? Do you wanna get something to eat?" He asked, and your heart melted more when he spoke with no hint of annoyance or impatientness. 

"Everything's so expensive here," You mumbled and looked around at the never ending amount of over priced food trucks. 

Jacob smiled slightly and puffed out his chest, "You don't have to worry about that," He grab you by your shoulders and spun you towards a food truck that had large green cursive writing on its side and blown out pictures of authentic Mexican street food. "Come on." He ushed you over to the line, claiming a spot. 

You couldn't help but look over your shoulder to the shadows of the couple you were with that seemed to continuously  shrink as they walked on, unaware that you and Jacob took a pit stop. "They'll be fine" Jacob claimed confidently, as he noticed your lingering gaze. He instinctively put a hand on the small of you back and stepped up in line. 

The line for the taco truck moved quicker then expected, and soon you and Jacob were tucked away from prying eyes. He led you behind the row of vans and into a small grassy patch where only a lone picnic bench stood surrounded by dark brooding teenage boys who wore too much eyeliner and had electric coloured hair. 

They didn't seem much younger then and you and Jake, and from the smells that radiated off of them it was evident that they were smoking pot. But neither you or Jacob cared, too in your own world to pay mind to the baked teens across the lot. 

Jacob had leaned you against the cool aluminum of one of the closed food trucks, and he stood so close that his towering body cast a shadow over you that engulfed your figure. The moon was high in the sky now, and the only light that allowed for you to make out Jacobs soft features was the dimly light street lamp that sat not too far away from you.

You stood with both your feet in-between his wide stance, as he grinned down at you, watching you chew the taco "Good?" His voice was huskily, and he watched you with udder admiration in his eyes. He could feel the mate bond twist his gut into a tangled knot. Being this close to you made him want to vomit in pure excitement. He wasn't sure if that analogy was correct, but it was the only thing that seemed right. 

You just nodded, and swallowed down the heavy food. It stuck to the back of your throat for a moment, and you didn't know if it was because of how big of a bite you took or because of the ache that settled in your heart. Your lack of response made Jacob's own heart lurch forward, as if it was trying to escape from his chest cavity and jump into your hands. "Come on, what's wrong?" He pleaded.

You wondered if you should say anything. Edward and Bella where long gone, in their own world; forgotten. But that still didn't dull the feelings swirling in your gut. "I just-" You started then sighed. "I was surprised when you said you wanted to go to the fair. I just- I didn't know Bella and Edward were going to be here." You avoided eye contact at all costs. The smell of weed was starting to become suffocating. 

Jacob's shoulder tensed for a moment before slumping, but even then he was still looming over you. "I'm sorry," He began, and you knew he meant it. "She said she wanted to go and...I knew you had also wanted too" He whispered out. 

"You didn't want to go before." You deadpanned. 

The thing about Jacob was that he knew he hit the jackpot when he imprinted on you. A kind, beautiful soul, with no urge to harm anything. But Jacob was a spiteful man, cocky and more often then not hotheaded. This consist pursuit for Bella never died down, he vowed to himself to have her at least once, and when he met you- well sure he didn't like Bella that way anymore, but he was stubborn. And he knew that the on going pursuit, even after imprinting, was to get under a vampires skin more then anything else. 

Sometimes though, he himself wished that he could just let things go as easily as they come.

Maybe this time he could though. 

If it was going to affect his mate, to where he felt the tension and pull of the mate bond, then he knew it was time for him to let go of his pride and ego. "I'm sorry Y/N," He straightening his shoulders again. "look at me." You dragged your eyes up off your taco and met his burning gaze. "No more Bella. okay? I'm serious. I'm done." He brought his hand down and placed them high up on your hips by the waist band of your pants.

"Jake-" You said, almost embarrassed that he was able to detect what was eating away at your core all night.

"No I'm serious," He said huskily, and he brought down his head to rest on yours. "You are actually my everything. When-" He swallowed thickly. "When we are together- I feel sick to my stomach with how in love with you I am. No one has had that kind of control over me-" His breathing was heavy, and his eyes were widened slightly, the words tumbled from his mouth before he could even process them. "Its terrifying. when were part...it's like I'm floating outside of my body looking down on myself. Nothing-Nothing makes sense, until I'm," He stuttered, as his hands moved up underneath your shirt. Jacob rested his hot hands on your waist, drawing small circles with this thumbs on your bare skin. "Until I'm with you. You ground me in ways i actually....." He trailed off, and you felt his hands start to shake under your shirt. Goose bumps erupted on your skin as you practically felt Jacob hold back a transformation.  A thought crossed your mind that maybe he was angry with the confession, but you supposed that any intense emotion could bring out his wolf side. He lifted his head off of yours and looked down, right into your eyes. Jakes eyes seemed to be a shade darker then usual, and you didn't know if it was actually that or just a trick of the light; or lack there of. 

"There is not a soul in this world I would not destroy for you." He hissed out.

The food in your hands were long forgotten, and every now and then during his speech did you need to consciously remind your fingers to tighten there grip so it didn't fall all over you and Jacobs shoes.

This was practically the one and only love confession Jacob had ever given you. 

In an instant the hollow feeling in your heart filled, and you could swallow your food without it feeling like a million shards of glass. You reached up with one hand and cupped his face, his eyes instantly closing and his breathe evening out. "Jake, Jake, Jake..." You sighed out, and couldn't help but grin. "You could treat me like a fool, and I'd be okay with it. I am a fool for you Jacob Black. You could stab me in the back, and I'd still follow you around" Tears surfaced in your eyes, but they were gone in an instant when Jacob spotted them with his superhuman sight. 

He bent down and placed a heavy kiss on each of your eyes, drinking up the tears. "You can't be my fool if I'm yours" He grinned, and in an instant the brooding energy from earlier vanished into the pitch black sky. The speakers that blasted popular tunes scattered around the carnival seemed to be louder now, and you finally looked around your surroundings. 

The pot smoking teens were still loitering by the picnic table, some of them muttering things like 'get a room' while eyeing you and your boyfriend, but majority of them were too high to even notice your existence. The sky was pitch black, and you wondered what time it was. 

Jacob looked down at the now soggy taco in your hand. "You gonna eat that?" He asked, and you held it out to him, which he gladly accepted and took down in one ridiculously large bite. "Come on, lets go home" Jacob took a step back and held his handout, which you took eagerly and intertwined your fingers with his. 

He pulled you back out from behind the secluded grass patches and back into the bustling lanes of carnival games and live entertainment. Swinging your hands you both laughed and clung on to each other, Jacob once again consumed into every fiber of your being.

This time you didn't miss the way that Jacob didn't even glance at the pale couple that both seemed to be waiting for you at the exit of the fair. He couldn't pull his eyes away from you, he didn't want too. You were right in front of him, ranting and giggling and teasing him like you did every day- what more could he ever want?

Bella seemed to gawk, but neither of you cared, because it had finally clicked, Jacob was your imprint. No one else's, no matter how distracted he got, he always came home to you at the end of the day. A new found sense of self and confidence grew in you, pride radiating off your chest and a large smile on your face as Jacob tucked you under his arm and kissed the top of your head. 

And you knew, as you past by and caught Edwards eye, that he knew too. The pity that he once looked upon you with was replaced with admiration and pure happiness that everything seemed to work out. You smiled at him, as he took Bella's hand. She seemed to want to speak up, to call out to you both and merge back into one big group, but Edward whispered something in her ear that made her look surprised as he pulled her in the opposite direction of you and your boyfriend. Edward threw you a one last glance over his shoulder as Bella stumbled by his side, and you gave him a thankful smile.

The rest night was peaceful, your mind or steps or heart didn't falter once as Jacob took you back to his house. To you, Jacob made a promise, and you knew he was going to keep it. You were going to hold him too it.

[spoonsandtunes]

omg will there be a part 2 of The Ache of Almost i just reread it and it’s so good omg i’ve been on a twilight rampage 😭😩

AHHH first off i’m so happy you guys all like it! honestly, i don’t know. i’d be down to do a part 2, but i kind of feel like i left it in a dead end and have no idea which direction to take the story. so if anyone has any ideas please lmk!

but i am working on a Jacob Black fic rn soo stay tuned!

[spoonsandtunes]

The Ache of Almost

Pairings: Jasper Hale x Human! reader

A/N: so, ive entered back into my Twilight era. ive been reading the books this time around and have fallen in love with Jasper unfortunately so here is some really long shitty angst i wrote about him. also, i was watching this show Northern Exposure and got the inspired by it for the whole river fiasco.

Warnings: non? implied smut though, nothing gruesome. also not proof read, sorry.

word count: 5.2K (insane i know hang on for me please)

You sat, legs tucked into your chest, in front of your brightly lit computer screen. Your fingers moving furiously over the keyboard of your laptop, as your tried to distract your brain from the chatter downstairs. Your school assignment for History was long over due, sitting in a discarded pile to the right, and no matter how much you had urged yourself to do it, you just couldn't. The paper was on the civil war, a logistical over view of it and the people who played major factors, and as much as you hated to admit it this would be easier to write if Jasper was still around.

Downstairs, you could hear Edwards laugh ring out, louder then it usually did, and you sighed, finally pulling your attention away from your screen. Annoyance crawled slowly under your skin, as you heard Edward and what sounded like Charlie chatter amongst each other.

 Realistically, you had no issue with Edward Cullen, no issue with any of the Cullen's actually. You couldn't find it in your heart to hold animosity towards the clan just because  Bella was able to handle a life that you yourself could not.

This "matureness" in the words of Esme Cullen was what kept your heart soft, and you found that the ladder, as well as the fact that you knew Edward was here to see your sister first and foremost kept your annoyance at bay.

You tried so hard to keep the awkwardness from you and Jaspers break up from seeping into the cracks of your sister Bella and Edward's relationship, still being friendly and polite as you had always been when, and even before, you and Jasper had gotten together. But, you couldn't say the same for Edward. 

You knew he was just looking out for his non-blood brother, and even if he was friendly to you just as you were with him, it seemed as if he couldn't stop himself from slipping in a few comments abouts Jaspers well doing that were suppose to evoke guilt into you. And for that very reason, for the past 3 weeks of you dumping Jasper, you went into hiding whenever Edward would come around for Bella. 

There where many things wrong with you and Jaspers relationship. The most obvious being you were human and he was not. You loved it at first, the thrill of a forbidden love, and if Bella could do it, why couldn't you? 

You melted in his soft touch, loved how his southern drawl pulled you in. His kisses tender and sweet as if he was scared to break you, which he was, kept you clinging for more. You loved how intimate you two could be without touch, just soft looks across a room and how your days consisted of being deep within the shadows, private and sacred. 

Jasper was crazy for you, in love like never before. Your voice had him wrapped around his finger since day one, and your touch would send him on his knees begging for more. His love for you was just as strong as Edwards for Bella, he would even argue that it was stronger. 

The issue was, that when you had first met Jasper he was still trying to control his urge to kill everyone around him. Though, when you two started to get closer, he was more in control then when he first met your sister. But things do not change as easily as they come, and even through out your 4 month relationship, there was a very evident reason why you and Jasper had not gone to the next level. 

At first, you were okay with it. Sex was never a priority for you. You, like Jasper, shared a very old school outlook on the topic. But what you didn't enjoy, was that even with kissing, or smelling, or sudden movements, Jasper was on the other side of the room, trying to swallow his desire to bite down on your delicate skin. 

He would disappear for weeks on end every month or so. He would never tell you where he was going, or when he was going, you would just wake up one morning and he would be gone. A couple days in you would hear from Bella or one of the Cullen family members that he went to "blow off some steam" but never from Jasper himself. 

You use to wait around, over at his house constantly to talk with Esme or Alice, in hopes he would appear. Worried sick to your stomach that something had happened to him. Or you would send him a multitude of text messages that went unresponded, you would loiter around  certain classes he had in school, and walk home extra late on some days in hopes that you would see him. Of course, you never did, and his family, as well your own, watched from the side lines in pity. 

Though, he would always come back, appearing at your doorstep, or in your room later within the twilight air. He would be soft, and apologize, explain he went away to keep you safe and to protect you. He would get on his knees, literally, and hold your torso into his face, breathing in your scent as if he was addicted to it. This very ritual was the part of the reason you stayed so long, he always came back. 

Though the anger and worry soon faded, as time past and his disappearing act become a common occurrence. His apologies fell on deaf ears as you shrugged him off and went on your way after he would appear out of the blue. 

This was not the only thing that put a strain on your relationship. You had only lived in forks for a short time, obviously moving back here when Bella did, but you had always loved the summers that came before the move. 

Unlike Bella, your summers were filled with amazing memories of swimming down at La Push and helping your dad grill up food as Billy Black and his son would come over. You would spent endless nights running and biking through town, Jacob by your side, playing make-believe through the dense forests and much more. 

When you had moved over to Forks permanently, you were a bit sad at first for leaving your mother, but you knew Charlie needed this the most. Your extraverted nature did not diminish in the gloomy town, in fact day one you reunited with Jacob and went down to the Clearwater's home, where you befriended one of your now best friends, Leah Clearwater. 

At first, things weren't so hostile, the two opposing sides ignored each other like they always had. But when you and Jasper had made it official, it was obvious tensions started to rise. Jasper hated all your friends, calling them names you don't even want to repeat, and vice versa. At one point it become so bad that you just stopped telling Jasper, or Leah, who you were hanging out with all together as when you did, it felt as if the insults towards the other group and lectures where never ending. 

The issues with your relationship, the obvious differences between you and Jasper seemed to start pilling up. And so, you decided maybe it would be best to end it, or at least take a break. You had pulled him aside one night, when you two where at his home, after dinner. He took your actions as a flirty invitation, and pulled you upstairs, kissing your lips. But you pushed him away, and broke the news to him. You wanted to end it. 

From all the ways you imagined that Jasper would react, it did not prepare you for the immense turmoil that swept over his features. The man dropped to his knees, almost as if you had stabbed him with a stake through the heart, you had never seen him cry before- and now you saw him groveling at your feet, tears glistening in his eyes. He begged, and pleaded, apologizing for things that he himself could not control. It was almost enough to make you take your words back. almost.

You cried as well, and begged him to stand up, but he refused too. You knew breaking up with him was going to be hard, but you didn't know it was going to be this terrible. You still loved him, you didn't know if you were very not going to love him, but you wanted a normal life. A normal boyfriend, a normal relationship. One where your boyfriend could stand being in the same room as you, where he didn't have to disappear for weeks on end so he didn't do anything unspeakable. You wanted a boyfriend who liked your friends, and vice versa, who you didn't only get to hang out with on rainy days. Where you didn't need to tip toe around whenever you wanted to touch him. 

Staying in the shadows was nice while it lasted, but soon your heart yearned and ached to reach out for something more. 

In an instant, the ache of the situation washed away, and anger replaced it. Jasper was hurt, you knew it, and you knew how unfair it was to have to leave because of things that he could not control. So, you stood there and let him take out his anger, obviously holding back immensely. you let him yell and curse, only interrupting a few times to put in your input. His accent grew stronger with every word that tumbled out of his mouth, and at one point you didn't even understand him. But when he asked you to leave his house, and to never come back, you understood that plenty. 

The tears didn't stop when you left his room, still hearing his swears flying out of his mouth even when you weren't in view anymore. Retreating back downstairs, you felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over you as his whole family, and Bella, sat in the living room, as rigid as a rock. You knew they had heard the whole thing, there was no way they didn't-not with the level of volume that Jasper had yelled at. You swallowed hard, and wiped your face as you turned to look at everyone "I-I'm sorry, i think i have to go now...my dad-" An immense thunderous crash coming from Jaspers room interrupted your string of excuses, and only you and Bella flinched at it, every one else staying perfectly still. Esme just nodded and knowingly she smiled at you, allowing you to leave with no other explanation. 

This was about 3 weeks ago, and Jasper had not tried to contact you or swarm you since, which you were surprised about actually, you did assume he was going to track your every move. 

Your stomach growled for the 3rd time within the hour and you sighed, looking at the time on the bottom of your computer. The glow read 7pm, and you were starving. 

You pushed your chair back and stood up, the chatter downstairs was still evident but you couldn't hide any longer, you just hoped that Edward would leave it be. 

You left your room and skipped downstairs, Charlie, Edward and Bella coming into view from the bottom steps. They all looked up as you walked into the room, going straight to the kitchen of the open floor plan. "Hey guys," You said smiling, your dad nodding at you, and Bella and Edward waving.

"Are you getting food?" Charlie asked, as he rose from the reclining chair he was lounging in and walked in behind you. You just hummed, and put some food in the microwave, but before you could turn it on, Bella and Edward where already in the kitchen speaking to you. 

"Actually, a few of us were going to go out for food," Edward said casually "why don't you join us? it'll be fun." You turned and eyed him and Bella warily, you did not like where this was going.

Charlie nodded at the idea to show his approval, as he maneuvered around you to put his empty beer bottle in the sink. "Who is 'a few of us'?" You asked suspiciously.

"Us, Rosalie, Emmet, jasper, Alice" Bella said, and you didn't miss how she casually said your ex- boyfriends name. You just shook your head, and looked to your food to start the microwave. 

"I don't think so, thanks though" You tried to keep your voice light, but you knew Edward could hear the strain in it with his vampire powers. You're an ass Edward  you though, and you knew by Edwards smirk that he could read what you were thinking.

 "Are you sure," Bella said "Come on, it'll be fun." You just sighed, and didn't say anything - knowing if you did, something harsh would come out that you didn't really mean. 

"I still have to work on my paper, I barley have it started" You say after a long pause, and it wasn't a lie. Charlie looked over and nodded at your words, silently telling you that he approved of you staying home for your school work. 

"It's Saturday" Edward commented, in which you just gave him a look and went back to glaring at the whirling microwave.

The minute your food came out, you slipped back upstairs into your room, and went into the solitude of the 4 walls. 

For the next 4 hours, you pushed as hard as you could, truly diving into your paper like never before, finally completing it. But, you stilled sighed knowing that even with all the effort you put into the paper, it was going to one of your lowly graded ones. Jasper usually helped you with your history assignments.

Looking at the time, you sighed and spun around in your chair. You doubted Bella was back, in fact you wouldn't be surprised if she spent the night with Edward. 

You rose from you seat, thinking that Charlie may be still be awake, hearing the low buzz from the television from downstairs. Old house, thin walls. You can practically hear someone breathe on the other side of the house. 

You quietly made your way down the hallway and half way down the stairs, crouching on the step and looking through the railings towards the living room. The room was dark, and the low blue light from the TV illuminated the figure of your sleeping dad, who was sprawled out on his reclining chair. 

You sighed, and made your way fully down the stairs and into the living room, turning off the TV and putting a blanket on your dad, who did not stir even a little bit. Seeing him sleep made you decide it was time for bed  yourself, with how late it was getting. Quickly getting ready for bed and under your covers, you sighed and closed your eyes, praying you would have a good night sleep. 

Your sleep was restless, like it was the past 3 weeks, and you woke up at 5:30 am. You tossed and turned, trying to force yourself to sleep again, but your mind was wide awake and your body was restless, filled with energy. 

Rolling out of bed, you shivered as your feet touched your cold laminate flooring. You padded over to your window and peeked behind the curtains.

You were surprised to see that the sky was clear, the ground was not as wet as it was the past couple days, and you wondered if the the sun was going to show its face today. It had just started to slowly rise, the twilight sky turning over to the blue hour. Maybe summer was finally arriving, it was late May after all.

But Forks summers where never as hot as you liked, and the lakes had seaweed bottoms that created muddy puddles around the shore. So even if summer was around the corner, you knew not to get too excited.

Turning your attention away from the weather, you looked towards the front of the house. Charlies cruiser was not in the drive way, you guessed he had already left for work. A bit earlier then usual, but nothing to be alarmed about. 

For the next 30 minutes, you went about doing your morning routine. For the past 3 weeks, your morning schedules would consist of you making your bed, eating a good breakfast and trying to get some work in. Whether it be school work, or waiting around for your shift at the diner to start, you always tried to keep yourself occupied, because when you didn't you mind would wander to the uneasy feeling in your core you had since the day you ended things with Jasper. 

You knew that the love between you and Jasper was different, you could see the way he looked at you, admiration and infatuation deep in his core. You were so much more then just a girlfriend to him, you knew that and so did everyone around you too. Even if he himself never let the words come out of his mouth, he knew you were what he had been waiting for his whole life. from humanhood to vampire, he was seeking for his mate, and you were finally that. 

Of course though, he had yet to tell you this but the rest of the Cullen's knew how easy it was for vampires, like werewolves, to imprint on their loved ones. 

Once you had finished your usual routine, you glanced at the clock. It had only been 30 minutes, and the sky outside was still a dusty blue. 

Your eyes swept around you room, it was still cold but it reminded you of Jaspers icy skin so you didn't mind much. Hanging on the back of your closet door was your rain coat, and you decided that getting in some movement was not the worst idea. 

So, you changed in well fitted jeans, and pulled your coat over your thin PJ Shirt before heading out into the street. 

The air was cool and crisp, and burnt your lungs. The lawn still had a thin layer of dew on it and the starting's of shrubs at the edge of the forest trail by the house was also no different. 

You didn't walk this trail often, unlike Bella and Edward, only a few times with Jacob or Charlie.

The trail went deep, and winded around trees and fallen trunks. You let your thoughts run wild, hoping that soon they would run out. 

Though, they seemed to grow stronger every waking minute and for the first time since the day you left Jaspers house, you felt soft tears prick your eyes. This was a lot harder then you though it would be, but it was the only thing that made sense. You couldn't live your life hiding your loved one from the word, and unlike your sister, the desire to become a vampire yourself was non existent. You loved being human, you loved the fragileness of it, the realness of it, and the beauty of it. 

Jasper admired this, but even though you knew he would never want to condemn you to what he believed to be his own personal hell, the thought of you growing old and dying shook him to the core. 

This was another issue with your relationship. Talk of the future, kids and homes and white picket fences where truly not something that ever came up. When they did, they were soft and sad and the topic would be hung heavy in the air between you too. 

Without knowing it, you had walked so deep in the woods, that the trail had come to an end as the gravel beneath your feet started to thin out. You contemplated turning back and ending your walk, but up ahead a deer stood stunned in its spot, looking at you. 

"Oh," You breathed and stopped walking, as the deer stood so still you almost mistook it for a fake "Hello sweetheart" you cooed so softly, and took a very soft, cautious step forward. 

The deer's ears perked and you stopped moving, staying in your spot, you sighed and looked around your surroundings. A fallen mossy tree trunk was in between you and the deer, acting as a wall that you knew the deer regarded as a shield. Before you could speak to it again, the deer looked out into the distance of the dense forest before it jumped in it spot and bounded away.

You stood there, a bit stunned at the random event, but paid no mind to it and moved forward to step over the trunk and continue your walk. Deer's were already such jumpy creatures, so you didn't feel an uneasiness from its skittishness and you had to admit the encounter gave you a new sense of calmness that washed over you. 

Walking a few feet deeper in the woods, the dirt beneath your feet morphed into wet pebble stone, and looking up you noticed you had come across a small river. It was beautiful, the rocks all different shades of brown and grey covering the bottom. 

You sighed, and squatted at the shore carefully so you didn't fall in, and picked up a small twig. You tried to poke a few rocks around, but the river was a lot deeper then you expected, so the stick barely reached. You noted that one day you could come here and swim, it seemed peaceful.

 Rising up again, you turned around to leave and almost screamed in surprised. 

Jasper was standing father back, still covered by the trees and moss, staring out at you almost sheepishly. 

"Jasper- you scared me," You said not really thinking, and Jasper frowned a bit automatically making you feel bad. "What are you doing here" you said softly, and swallowed heavily.

"I'm sorry, i didn't mean to scare you" he started and stepped out into the clearing. He looked the same, just a bit more tired, if that was possible. His hair was disheveled and he wore a pair of jeans and his red flannel with his sleeves rolled up showcasing his lean muscles and battle scars. "You didn't come to dinner last night, and well...i just-" He swallowed his tongue, and his accent sent shivers down your body. 

You knew vampires didn't eat, not human food at least, so you didn't know why Jasper tried to keep up the charade of the excuse Edward and Bella made last night for Charlies sake. But you supposed that Carslie or Esme did make some thing for Bella to munch on. So maybe it wasn't much of a charade after all.

"Were you following me?" You didn't know if you wanted him to say yes or no, your stomach felt anxious just being in Jaspers presence. 

Jasper sighed, and ran his hand through his hair "I just..." The fact that he felt your emotions made it harder for him to think, and he wondered if you would mind if he used his powers to calm you down, but he knew that would most likely not end very well. "I miss you." He spoke softly, and came closer. 

"Jasper," you went to protest, pushing down the fact that you missed him too, but as you looked down at you feet you felt a small splash "Oh! My keys!" You groaned as your house keys fell from your coats shallow pocket and into the deep river. 

Jasper stepped forward. "I'm sorry." he began like he had threw them in and started to push up his already rolled sleeves higher "Here let me get them" 

You looked at him, and shook your head "No, no" You sighed, you could feel a mild headache coming on. "No. I'll get them." 

Jasper stood as still as stone, and eyed you, "Are you sure, i don't mind" He said and watched you intently. "This river is glacier fed. It'll be cold." He warned worriedly. 

"No it's fine. Its my keys" You huffed, you really did not want help from your ex-boyfriend. That small action would make life so much more complicated then it already was, you just knew it. 

You stepped a bit off to the side of the rocks, finding a drier patch before glancing at your ex-boyfriend. He watched you intently, a look you couldn't quite read in his eyes. You took a shaky breath, and slipped off our shoes, then slowly took off your coat.

The keys had fallen deep in the river, and you were so tempted to leave them, but you knew if you didn't get them Jasper would. So you took a shaky breath and bite your lip, slowly taking your first step in the water. 

You hissed, not expecting it to be as cold as it was, and you felt the water seep through your socks and the fabric around your ankles, making you feel heavy. The shock send a shiver up your spine, and your breathing become a big rigid. 

Your eyes looked down through the clear water and spotted your keys logged between two large rocks, you glanced at Jasper who had not moved a muscle. He stood still, his breath shallow as he watched every move you made. His eyes hade turned dark, a coal black colour. Something about his interaction was strangely intimate and you didn't know if that was the cold water fogging your brain or if it was just the fact that you stood in front of Jasper in a thin white PJ shirt, breathing heavy and practically half of you drenched in water. 

Silently, you bent down to put your arm in the water, trying to keep majority of your self dry, straining your neck so your hair wouldn't get wet. Jasper shuffled, and he looked like he wanted to say something, but he held his mouth shut. His jaw was tense, and his fists were balled at his sides. 

You fully looked at him, and made eye contact, taking another shaky breath due to the glacier fed river, and tried to get your fingers to grab the keys. Though, they were logged tight, and your fingers only grazed the metal rings the keys sat on. There was no other choice but to go fully in.

Determined, you closed your eyes, and dunked your head into the water. Your fingers wrapped around the keys and tugged hard, pulling them from out between the rocks. Rising up, you gasped for air, and took a moment to reign your senses. 

You evened out your breathing, and turned to look at Jasper, who in his shocked stance cracked a small smirk. You pushed your hair from your face as he spoke "who knew you could be so cool" his southern draw made you weak in the knees, and you pulled at your shirt so it wouldn't be as see through. 

You couldn't help but smile though, and step out from the water to grab your shoes. You sat on a drier rock, sniffling and wrapping your coat around you to stop any shivering. Jasper watched you, and his heart ached that he couldn't warm you up with his icy cold body. 

"I'm sorry..." You spoke after a pause, and Jasper slowly sat down next to you, your thighs touching. The feeling made you sigh, and your head ache seemed to be gone. You couldn't tell if it Jasper was using his powers, or if the icy cold water put you in some type of shock. You decided that his presence was just a comfort, anything else would have been a lie. "I-I hope we can still be friends." You turned your head to look at the stunning man next to you, who was already looking at you with udder admiration.

He just shook his head "I can't just be friends with you."

You sighed, fearing this response. "Why?" Both your voices where low, the sound of the river and other wildlife being the only thing to cause a ruckus. 

"I love you too much to...let you go on with your life without me in it," He paused, and you could tell he seemed to hesitate on what he wanted to say. You urged him to go on, slowly nodding and placing your wet hand on top of his knee. "You're my mate. I need you, I can't do-" He gestured around him, but his eyes didn't look away from yours for a second. "This- without you."

A shaky breathe exited your lips. You had heard about mates before when learning about werewolves and vampires from those around you, but you never expected to have one yourself. You guessed though that Edward and Bella- or Rosalie and Emmet where prime examples. But all the examples of mates around you were all one being. Rosalie and Esme with Carslie and Emmet where vampires. Bella wanted to be a vampire. Non of the examples in your life showcased how mates worked with two different species. 

"I like being human," You whispered, and let your fingers start to draw circles on Jaspers knee subconsciously. "I can't be who you want me to be." 

"I would never ask you to change that." Jasper deadpanned, and he looked eager to show you he wouldn't. You smiled at him, knowing no matter how much he believed that, he would ask you one day. Maybe not tomorrow but 30 years down the line the conversation would come up.

"But you will," You admitted and Jasper shook his head furiously, tears starting to surface in his eyes. He looked desperate to reach out for you. You repeated yourself "But you will- Jasper-" You called his name sternly as a string of 'no's came tumbling from his mouth. "You will." He took a shaky breath and you bit your lip, he couldn't argue with that. 

He knew himself, deep down he would bring the idea up once in your life. The thought of you growing old and dying shook him to his core, it was a paralyzing fear. He would beg you to let someone turn you when things started to look a bit to serious with your future. "Then- I..." He struggled to speak, this conversation was not going the way he hoped it would and if he still had a beating heart it would have stopped by now. "I don't know what to do." He said shakily.

You brough your hand off his knee and slowly intertwined your fingers with his, his icy coldness brining some type of comfort to yourself. Jasper sighed, and closed his eye for a brief minute feeling your warm fingers, and you gazed upon your intertwined hands. His thumb drew circles on the back of your hand, and you sighed, leaning your head on his shoulder. The sun had fully rose now, and the rays peaked through the trees, falling on Jasper. He didn't care though, there was much more important things on his mind then his sparkling skin. 

Your eyes roamed his diamond complexation, watching as a string of rainbows practically bounced off of him. It finally set in then, you two really were different, and you had no idea what you should do. "I don't know either.." You admitted, a comfortable silence falling between the two lovers.

[spoonsandtunes]

My little Mermaid

⚠️ Warning ⚠️

Draco Malfoy! X Mermaid! Reader

Nudity, mentions of sex

that’s all I think :/ also so shittly written and probably my one and only post. yippie!

You sigh as you stretch in your bed. The soft yellow Hufflepuff blankets tangle around your legs, trapping your body's heat inside.

"Get up Y/N, or you'll be late for breakfast." Your roommate, and best friend, Molly Fiddle exclaims. You turn your head to the side, eyeing her up and down. She was dressed in your house seeker uniform. It was the start of a second term and Molly was lucky enough to be able to join the Quidditch team so late, especially after the death of your dear friend, Cedric Diggory.

You and Cedric had known each other since your first year at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and Wizardry. You both did grow a bit distance when he entered his sixth year, you being in forth but it was understandable. He had entered the tri-wizard tournament and needed to focus on the game. That was a year ago, and now, after sometime, you are able to think about him without feeling sad. Yes, his death was tragic, but you were so grateful for all the magnificent times you spent together.

“I’m heading to the Quidditch pitch, practice is early today. You’ll have to eat alone, bye!” Molly smiled sweetly at you, and left the dorms.

As you threw the covers off, you groaned, the familiar itchy sensation hitting you. You bent forward and pulled your pajamas pants up, examining the dry flaky scales that clustered around your ankle.

Going against your better judgement, you let yourself reach down scratch at the shiny scales. Only stopping when you felt a sharp sting and noticed one of your scales had gotten pulled off and was now bleeding.

You pulled out your trunk from under your bed taking out a mirror, some bandages, and the hydration potion your mother made you. Applying some quickly to the scaly area, and to other areas prone to dryness, you quickly wrapped your legs and the back of your hands. You really needed to go for a swim. Before people started to notice.

You supposed the sneaking around was a default for being a mermaid.

A royal, you might add.

Your father was the king of the Atlantic ocean. Your mother on the other hand was a half blood. Your grandfather was a wizard and your grandmother a mermaid. Making you also a half blood. Your mother attended Hogwarts as well, without letting her secret out. The only people who knew it was Dumbledore, as well as Professor McGonagall and some of the other professors. This went for you as well, not even Cedric knew your secret.

Your father was a little sceptical at first, about letting you go to Hogwarts. But your mother convinced him, of course not before making you follow a strict set up rules. One, was to never reveal your self to anyone, or you would have to go straight home.

Two, try to stay away from all bodies of water, which is why your mother made you a potion to get rid of your dry skin. Flaky dry patches of skin that seemed too grey and shiny for any normal human, would occur if you didn’t go in the water for long periods of time, a down side of being half mermaid you supposed.

And three, you were only allowed to shower in the middle of the night, so no one would walk in on you and witness the half fish being in the bath. Your father and mother had even come to Hogwarts to discuss the conditions. Dumbledore was generous enough to let you use the room of requirements for your baths though you only had a limit of 15 minutes. Not even close enough to kill your dried skin.

Recently you’ve been so busy these past months. Professor Snape has been piling up your assignments and you’ve been spending hours every day studying for care of magical creatures. You’ve been failing utterly at that class, (as ironic as that sounds, it’s true) and you never seem to be able to get a moment alone.

To add to the never ending list of things piling up and suffocating you, it seemed that for some odd reason, the golden trio took a liking to you. Hermione insisting you accompany her to the library to study, the Weasley twins always wanting your opinion on their latest pranks and you it seemed as if Harry had taken a liking to you more than a friend. Which you’re not complaining about, Harry was a nice boy, but you did have your eyes set on a certain blonde Slytherin prince.

Draco Malfoy, the beautiful blonde bully. Of course, you never considered him a bully. He was just misunderstood. At first, you hated him. But after running into his father and seeing how he was treated , it all clicked.

You then started to notice all the good things he did. And deep down you could see he really was a good person. People just needed to take a good look at him. To see how he stood up for the first year‘s and helped the third years study.

You saw him call out his friends for disrespecting a Ravenclaw girl one time, and It wasn’t until third year , when both of you had hit puberty and you started to take interest in boys, that your massive crush started. But Draco never even glanced at you, he didn’t even pick on you! He didn’t know you existed, or so you thought.

When you got to the Great Hall, your eyes immediately landed on Draco. Who to your great surprise, was staring right back at you. Your cheeks flushed as you made your way to the Hufflepuff table.

You made it to the end of the table to eat alone, when you heard someone call your name “Y/N, sit with us!” You looked up and saw Hermione waving at you.

You gave her a smile and headed over. “Hey everyone, how are you?” you sat across Harry, next to Ron.

“Terrible! Snape has really been piling on the homework.” Complained Ron . You giggled and pat his back, but were stopped short when Harry gasped clasping your hands.

“ Y/N, what happened?” He asked examining your bandaged hands. You chuckled nervously and pulled away.

“Oh nothing. Mr. fluffy scratched me when I accidentally stepped on his tail last night” you lied to them. You felt bad for blaming your cat, he was nothing but sweet, but what was a girl to do?

“Bloody hell! Again?” Ron asked, looking up from his food. You smiled sheepishly.

“I’m a bit clumsy these days.” You explained.

“Why, is something wrong?” Hermione asked, you shook your head.

“oh no, just like Ron said. Snape is driving us crazy with all the homework.”

They all nodded and Harry squeezed your hand, giving you a reassuring smile before glaring at something over your shoulder. “What is Malfoy staring at?” he hissed.

You looked over your shoulder and gazed towards the Slytherin table, when you made eye contact with Draco. He smirked and looked away, turning towards Pansy who seemed to be talking his ear off.

“Just ignore him,” Hermione said , making you turn back around. “Come on, or we’ll be late for class.”

The four of you walked out together, Harry’s hand lingering on your lower back.

That night you woke up from your deep slumber by a burning sensation. You sat up, trying to suppress a whimper, as you saw Molly snore in her sleep. You took a look at the time. 3 am. You looked down at your bare legs, and groaned quietly as you saw the patch of dried scales bleed profusely .

You pressed your palm against your calf, trying to stop the bleeding, but whimpered softly as it just bled more. ‘That’s it,’ you though to yourself as you stood up, making sure not to wake Molly. ‘I need to swim. If dad gets mad I’ll just explain I had to.’

without putting on your shoes or your robe over your silk short nightgown you made your way down to the common room. You first made sure no one was in the common room before carefully moving out of the portrait hole and down to the docks.

The air was cold, and you regretted not putting anything warmer over top of your gown. The cool air did not calm your bloody caves at all, instead it made them tingle and sting more.

Once you were down at the docks, you looked towards the black lake, before taking a deep breath.

During first year and second year you used to always swim in the black lake. Of course, in secret. Your father would not be happy.

100 or so years ago, when your great grandfather was ruling, the mer-people who inhabited the black lake, and the mermaids and merman went to war. Over the years they had decided to live together, of course only after no one won the war.

Unfortunately, recently, your father had said to stay out of the black lake. Apparently, the mer-people have been a bit more salty than usual. Of course, you figured if you stay near the surface and away from the Seaweed jungle where they settled, all should be fine.

So you slipped off your clothing, the cold air nipping at your sensitive dry skin and dived in.

Draco’s POV

I laid in my bed, facing the ceiling, wide awake. Today has been exhausting. Pansy wouldn't shut up about how she wanted me to meet her parents, Snape hadn't got off my back about my three over due essays, Blaise had been sent to the hospital wing with the stomach flu last week, and I had been appointed with taking notes for him. Of course, he complained about how he was dying and not being able to do his assignments. So, I got roped into doing double the work.

But even though today was one of the most hectic days of my week, I couldn’t seem to fall asleep.

I sat up and looked over at my clock. 3 AM. I stood and changed in to my gray sweatpants putting my Slytherin sweatshirt over my vest. I quickly put on a pair of socks and shoes, then head out for a walk.

As I walked further away from the school and closer to the Black Lake, I saw a glimpse of lilac purple turn around the corner hastily. I squint my eyes and jogged forward.

I turned the corner and saw the blur of colour making its way down to the docks. “Y/L/N?” I say under my breath, as the blob of colour morphed into a person. I took a step forward to follow them but stopped.

“What are you doing?” I asked my self. “Why do you even care? It’s not like you’ve had a massive crush on her since fourth year…” I rambled to myself like a crazy person and trailed off, gulping. Who was like kidding? I was totally head over heels for the small, quiet, adorable Hufflepuff.

She was my little puff.

The lack of sleep was getting to me, and I knew this for certain as I made my way down the hill, and hid behind a tree. I wasn’t sure why I was hiding, she was the one out after curfew.

I was about to step out, but stopped in my tracks as my breath hitched in my throat. I couldn't seem to look away from the girl who was actively stepping out of her black silk panties and pushing them to the side. I felt my pants tighten slightly around my crotch as the girl in front of me lowered the straps of her purple night dress and let it drop to the floor, pooling around her ankles.

“Damn…” I croaked out, my eyes scaling her bare backside. It is no secret she was beautiful. Every guy in their right mind at Hogwarts had let their eyes linger a minute longer than they should at least once. I was no exception, neither was that Saint Potter.

I rolled my eyes just thinking about him, but I quickly refocused my mind back on Y/N as she jumped into the lake.

“Y/N!” I cried out. Just now stepping out from behind the tree and making my way quickly down to the edge of the dock. I dropped to my knees, and frantically searched the water with my eyes. is she stupid? Not being able to find her I decide to sit back and wait for her.

I rubbed my face with my hands and groaned as I looked over to my right and spotted her clothes laying in the pile. I reached over and picked up her night dress and neatly folding it.

I never really noticed Y/N until the end of fourth year. I knew her before, just as a girl in a couple of my classes, but never paid any mind to her. I was too busy messing with Potter. But after seeing her outside of school (she had been hanging out at Diagon alley with Cedric while I and my father were attending some business at Borgin and Berks) I started to notice her at school, and in my classes and even tried to get to know her at one point, but she seemed to always follow Diggory around like a lost puppy. It enraged me, for a reason I couldn’t quite understand, and when Blaise pointed out I would always stare at her, the possibility that I might like her crossed my mind. Of course, I denied the fact in an instant.

But when I had a dream about her on me, a crying, moaning mess as she used my chest to support her small weak body as she road me into cloud nine did It finally hit me. I liked her.

I then noticed how amazing she was. How kind and loveable she was. How she could stand up for herself and others around her, but of course she also would have moments when her Hufflepuff side shown through. When she would get embarrassed, then start to flush and become a shy blubbering mess.

Oh, how I wanted to be the one to have that effect on her. She really drove me crazy.

I got pulled out of my day dream as a ripple of water and multiple bubbles surfaced.

I quickly scrambled on my knees and peered into the water. I jumped back as a head popped up, smiling brightly. Y/N's smile faded as she spotted me, her cheeks growing red as she saw me swallow and gaze at her bare chest.

“D-Draco?” She stuttered lowering herself deeper into the black water hiding her exposed chest. I can’t help it smirk as her Hufflepuff side surfaced. Her cheeks crimson as she tried to hide her face with her gorgeous long hair.

I sat back and crossed my legs, placing my head in my hands and tilting sideways. Seeing her Hufflepuff side shine through gave me back on my confidence, and I straightened my posture, which she seemed to pick up on.

I guess i did have that affect on her.

I raised my eyebrows at her when she shyly looked up at me through your eyelashes, waiting for my response.

“What were you doing?” I asked, trying to get another peek at a bare chest.

Noticing my antics she started to grow even more nervous. “Just out for a midnight swim, that’s all” She spoke softly, almost as if she was analyzing every word that came out of her mouth.

“Don’t lie to me, darling,” The nickname slipped past my lips without a second thought, and as I was about to apologize, I stopped when I saw her grow a darker shade of red, and a small smile settle on her lips. “No one skinny dips in the black lake.” I informed her.

“I was not skinny dipping!” She protested, making me chuckle.

“Then what were you doing? I highly doubt you were swimming, I mean, don’t the mer people try to kill you?” I asked, and peered suspiciously into the water from my spot.

She shook her head. “Well… Not exactly” she said looking around. “I’m well, connected to them in a way.” She trailed off hesitantly.

I raised an eyebrow and motioned for her to elaborate. She sighed, hesitantly, before gazing into my eyes.

In and instant, her whole demeanor changed. The softness from before vanished and the serious look on her face made a nervous feeling settle in the pit of my stomach.

I sat up straighter, preparing myself, as a newfound tension settled in the air. She took a deep breath, “I’m a mermaid.” she said in all seriousness.

I blinked. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but this was definitely not it. A worried expression, almost if she was about to cry, settled on her face due to my silence. I wanted to speak, make her smile. Seeing this worried look made me want to punch someone, unfortunately, all that came out of my mouth wad a breathy “what?”

“I’m a mermaid,” she repeated herself and it was obvious she was trying to stand her ground. I could tell she was scared, by the look in her eyes, as if she regretted saying anything to begin with. “Well- half actually.” She corrected her self.

“Really?” I asked, a new feeling of amazement settling in my stomach, “so you have – you know – a…?” I trailed off motioning to the other half of herself hidden in the water. I must have sounded like an idiot because she giggled.

“A tail?” I nodded. “Yep!” She fell back, flashing her expose chest, but I was too preoccupied to care as a 6 foot, grey-green, scaly tail, made an appearance. She swished it side to side, splashing me a little.

She swam, hesitantly, closer to me. She looked up towards me with hope in her eyes, and put her hand out. I knew what she meant. If I took her hand, I was making an unspoken promise. To stay by her side and help her keep her secret.

I had two options, one, to take her hand and walk through life with her. In whatever form she wanted, a friend, brother figure, or, hopefully, a lover.

Two, I could walk away and not look back. Forget what I had seen and go back to loving her from a far. Leaving her broken.

Before I could process my actions I accepted her hand, using all my strength to pull her massive tail onto the dock. Just the tip of the fin continued to stay emerged in the surface of the water as she sat next to me. “It’s nice day, don’t you think?” She asked me softly, her gaze looked out to the mountains on the far side of the lake.

I mimicked her actions, dangling my feet from the edge of the dock. The sharp tips of my dress shoes just kissing the surface. I didn’t mind though, I could always buy another pair.

Looking up at how the sun was just starting to rise, high enough to reflect in the black water, made me realize how long I waited for Y/N. The birds were just starting to rise, high pitched tweets coming from up the hill.

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes, before I couldn't take it anymore. “Are you dating Potter?” I blurted out. I felt my heart stopped as she looked at me calmly. My heart fluttered if she shook her head.

“No. Don’t get me wrong, Harry is a nice boy, but I have my eyes on someone else” she spoke softly, biting her lip and looking into my eyes.

I licked my lips and leaned forward. I was hoping, with all my heart, that I was reading her signs right. I had to use all my strength not to cringe physically, as a picture her with Weasel-bee. “Is that so?” I asked, not breaking eye contact with her. She nodded, leaning closer to me.

Her lips tasted like strawberry and sea salt. They were soft, and fit with mine like a puzzle piece. The texture was strange, I couldn't tell if it was wet or dry, and if you paid close attention the faint feeling of chapped skin scratched my brain. My eyes fluttered close, as she further leaned into my touch. My hand came up and tangled within her soft hair. It ran through my fingers like pure silk, tickling my fingertips. I had brushed the hair she'd so carefully placed on her breast to hide her buds, over her shoulder. She gasped as the cold air nipped at her hardened nipples. This kiss wasn't lustful, no sexual intentions was hidden behind my soft touches. It was filled with an energy of some kind that sparked brightly between us, connecting us.

As we pulled apart, I smiled at her flustered state. She hid her buds under her hair, once again, and I just sat there. I extended my hand to her, which she accepted. She smiled and nodded as I spoke “let’s get you inside,” she giggled.

“My little mermaid”

[spoonsandtunes]

Yk what I just realized? Bc of technology and shit our generations kids won’t have any old photo albums to look back on where the Polaroid photos are all faded and blurred out and you can’t make out peoples faces. And you won’t be reminisce about the past memories that were captured and remembered by whitewashed glossy film. Just like how we did with our families. This makes me sad.