stalefruitlooops

[stalefruitlooops]

so my dogs LOVE medicine, to the point that when my dog wouldnt come downstairs she shook a bottle of benadryl to get him

and youd think that that would make it easier to medicate them, but in reality they enjoy my mum prying their jaws open, cooing "say aaah!" shoving a pill down their throat and rubbing until they swallow. they LOVE this

[stalefruitlooops]

I survived my anger, but you didn’t. And now I fear no one ever will.

- Daria Synn

[stalefruitlooops]

i think a lot of people want to go back to their childhood.

not me, though. im afraid of return

[stalefruitlooops]

why are the ads for mens hygiene products so much more enticing like im a very femme woman but what if i want to smell like the spoils of war? the regret of a first kill? the concept of individuality?

[stalefruitlooops]

who the fuck thought of cpr like what dude went "shit hes dying? lemme break some ribs intermittently"

[stalefruitlooops]

[stalefruitlooops]

do you think i am deserving of forgiveness?

[stalefruitlooops]

i want to be better.

i want to be warm and quiet and kind. i want to lose my tongue, lose my will, and be good. its so, so hard to be good.

i want my burdens to be mine alone. i want to feel my own pains in my head and my spine and i want to bear it without being a problem.

why am i such a fucking problem?

[stalefruitlooops]

it is so hard, when you are so bad, so lost,

and you dont know how to be good.

i dont know how to stop this spiral, im not sure how i started. i never meant to be an awful daughter, or combative. i never meant any of it. i dont know why im worthless.

[stalefruitlooops]

for they would never understand, her power coming from angers unknown to their mortal confines, her rage akin to that of the gods

[stalefruitlooops]

my lores so extensive we need matpat to unpack that shit

[stalefruitlooops]

possessive obsession

a shadow and a ghost

the thoughts i claim as my own affect me the most

possessive obsession

intrusive thoughts all mine

i could tell you what i did but i couldnt tell you why

possessive obsession

moth to a flame

burn brightest in the night when i go insane

[stalefruitlooops]

why does jealousy overtake me

is it because i am of man

i fear that which i dont understand

instinctually ran

my claim to what isn't mine

like the concept of "my time"

twisted turning sky above

possessive intensive overwhelming love

[stalefruitlooops]

the lull of the night

electricity tracing up my spine

i am kept awake

stealing my quiet time

hoarding what isn't mine

marinating in the sadness that i've made

[stalefruitlooops]

when all that keeps me company is those glow in the dark stars

and distant memories of monkey bars

when i still could take things slow

pralines and ferries wheels

monsters under the bed

before i met the monsters in my head

my god, why do i feel so alone?

its cold.

i feel so alone.

[stalefruitlooops]

you only call me love

when im leaving

darling when you say dont go

bare minimum to keep me around

falling apart so slow

[stalefruitlooops]

its really sad,

being an object of infatuation

the inhalation of your very word

the realization its all surface level

the idealization of your every marvel

the analyzation of your minor moves

all for the illusion that they know you