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[stay-true-wellness]

TRUST YOURSELF.

Our intuition guides us to make choices that are best.

Typically, our intuitive guidance shows up as the first thought. It’s natural and automatic. When we question our first thoughts or instincts, we invite potential for confusion and doubt.

Have you experienced moments when you’ve went against your first intuitive thought, and wound up in a sticky situation?

Trust your gut. Trust yourself.

If you’re having difficulty developing a trusting relationship with your intuition or higher self, let’s talk and make a plan to assist you in building trust within yourself. 💗

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A post shared by Peggy O’Neill, CHT (@stay_true_wellness)

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A post shared by Peggy O’Neill, CHT (@stay_true_wellness)

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Grief-

As defined by Wikipedia “Grief is the response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or some living thing that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed.”

Grief is not something that we only experience when someone we love/care for leaves this life. We can grieve someone who is still living, who no longer may be a part of our lives. There are many ways that grief is expressed. At times it isn’t as obvious as sorrow or depressive slump. It can be disguised as anger or aggression too.

Grief is a feeling that cuts deep, can feel like our heart is being torn from our chest, and can gouge at our soul. 

It is a feeling that can last days, months..even years. 

Grief can be a passing feeling that hits like a ton of bricks from nowhere like a microburst thunderstorm; bringing a flood of tears and hyperventilation for mere moments giving way to exhaustive relief.

Grief is a feeling we can choose to release or suppress.

Suppression can lead to unexplained aggressive outbursts, depressiveness, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, indulging and overindulging in abusive behaviors (drugs, self-harm, etc.)  By suppressing our grief (and emotions) we are hiding from and avoiding our emotions.

Releasing grief can be uncomfortable and messy (queue tears and snot pouring from the face, red puffy eyes). 

A significant difference between the two is that releasing our grief (no matter how ugly it may be) is just that. It’s an emotional release. 

Each time we release our grief, we are allowing ourselves to feel and express what is going on inside ourselves. 

I chose to suppress experiencing grief from the sudden passing of my brother and father for eleven years before I was able to allow myself to process their absence. I stuffed my emotional pain inside and spent a great deal of that time numbing myself and prohibiting myself from processing the losses themselves through using (and at times abusing alcohol.)  

The pain I felt was tremendous. I could not express my sorrow to my mother or my sister, as they were hurting too. I felt that my support group were the friends I made during happy hour at the bar.  While some lasting friendships developed from that time, drowning my sorrows didn’t get rid of them. In times when I wasn’t at the bar, I found that my grief would rear its head in uncomfortable ways. I found that my reactivity and defensiveness only grew over time. I was snapping at people I cared about, taking out my bad feelings on others, and often didn’t feel like I could control it.

By choosing to eat my feelings and suppressing them gave way to them eating at me.

It is through working with a wonderful Healing Arts Practitioner from 2018-2019 that I was able to permit myself to feel and to grieve. I was able to have many tear-filled sessions around expressing emotions, allowing feelings to flow, addressing loss, celebrating the relationships and the time we had together, and choosing to let them go.  I am happy to report that I no longer needed the “emotional crutch” that alcohol seemed to provide, and made the choice to end my relationship with alcohol in the spring of 2019.

Early summer 2020, my mother passed due to an aggressive and seemingly short battle with cancer. The way that I handled her passing was a great contrast to that of my brother and father 13 years prior. I had done much work on healing the relationship that I had with my mother very intensely shortly before her passing, that transformed our relationship in her remaining weeks to that of the mother-daughter relationship that we both always wanted and needed, yet had trouble achieving.  When she passed, I was able to give my feelings space and express them. If I felt like crying, I let the tears flow. 

This ability to allow myself to express my feelings does not mean that there were no dark days, or pain felt. When there is loss, there is pain. 

By allowing ourselves to express and release our pain, we open ourselves back up to experience love, appreciation, and joy.

Some healthy suggestions to help cope with grief-

Join a support group; if you’re comfortable sharing your story with others, support groups can help provide a sense of community during a time of loss. There may be a specific group that specializes in the type of loss that you’re enduring depending on your situation. Try searching Facebook for an online or local group, Eventbrite may have a local event/group meeting in your area. Google may yield some support group options as well.

Grief Podcasts; There are many podcasts available on Spotify.  The Grief Coach is one of many to choose from.

Go for a walk; A short walk around the block or a visit to a local park can do wonders for your body, mind, and soul. Spending time outside can help you to feel connected to nature and bring some peace to your day.

Gratitude; Celebrate and appreciate the relationship that you were blessed to have. Perhaps on their birthday, or parting anniversary date, partake in an activity that you may have enjoyed together in their honor. 

Be kind to yourself; It’s ok to not want to do anything but lay on the couch, listen to what your body needs. Sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is to rest. 

Maintain a schedule; Designate time in your day when you’ll eat, exercise, or go outside. Having a structure to your day will help give a feeling of normalcy during a time of many mixed feelings and emotions.

Reach out to friends; Your friends want to be there for you in your time of need, but may not know-how. Take someone up on their “if you need anything, I’m here” offer, and give them a call. Sharing your sorrow will help relieve some pain from you and allow your friend to offer their love and support.

Keep a journal; Write down how you’re feeling on any given day. Write down memories of you and your departed that may help bring you some smiles and laughter in your time of missing them.

Anniversaries

Anniversary dates of passing and birthdays of the person we cared about that's no longer part of our day-to-day life can have a bit of a sting to them. Let’s be real, “sting” may be putting the feeling very mildly. There are times when those days can resemble a gaping wound that you can’t seem to stop the bleed on. Admittedly, the first few years of these dates are the most difficult to get through. We may feel particularly reminiscent of our relationship with the person, perhaps sprinkled feelings of lament, sorrow, and ache of their absence.  Something you should know, we have the power to choose how these days affect us. 

Suggestions for anniversaries and birthdays-

What can you do to honor that person’s memory?

Was there an activity you enjoyed doing together? If not together, can you participate in their favorite activity?

Was there a special place where you had a wonderful time together that you could visit?

Can you make yourself their favorite meal in their honor?  

Hosting a dinner party with close friends to celebrate their memory might be nice. Sharing memories, love and laughter will help fill your hearts with joy, and your faces with smiles. 

Was there a cause that was special to them? 

Making time to volunteer for that cause or make a donation in their honor can help honor their memory, and bring you a warm feeling knowing that you’ve helped contribute to making someone’s life better. By choosing to spend the day doing things that they enjoyed, or that you enjoyed with them, you’re allowing yourself to appreciate the time that you spent together, and bringing yourself (and possibly others) joy. 

How does it feel to do any of the above? 

Are you able to notice the contrast of feelings when you’re stuck in sadness, as opposed to actively tapping into joy?

There is no timeline for grieving, no rules or steps to follow to “make the pain stop”. Grief is something we will all experience in our lifetime, some more than others, some less than others.  

It is our choice how we decide to approach and address these feelings; 

Will you keep them inside, or allow them to flow?

What feelings will you choose to reflect on?

Resources-

https://www.opentohope.com/radio/

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/38SfR0MWn0wXStq7sG1p5B?si=e8f978d8d1c44d5f

​​https://health.clevelandclinic.org/grief-whats-normal-whats-not-and-13-tips-to-get-through-it/

[stay-true-wellness]

What brings you joy?

Can you make a list of at least three things that bring you pure absolute joy? 

Joy is something we can lose or forget about in times of stress, anguish and anxiety. Getting through those times can be mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting.

What if there was a way to take a bit of the sting from those trying times?

What would it feel like to take control, flip the script on the negative/oppressive thoughts and feelings and turn them around?

There is a way!

It is possible to flip this and reverse it!

BY TAPPING INTO YOUR SOURCES OF  JOY.

Keeping a list of joy that is easy to access (perhaps on the notes on your phone) to reflect on in those times when you feel as if you’re stuck in a vice or void will help you dig yourself out, and bring a smile to your face.

Personal share-

This past week, it was (what would have been) my brother’s 39th birthday.

He passed when he was 24 years young. Each year on his birthday, I choose to honor his memory by getting a funfetti flavored baked good (funfetti was his favorite cake flavor) and I head to the mountains to snowboard for the day.

Snowboarding was an activity my brother enjoyed, and is my #1 source of joy. To be able to celebrate his memory by tapping into pure joy, I’m able to turn around what could be a day of reflection and tears into that of pure love and happiness.

We all deserve to experience the most joy we can from life. 

In times of sadness, by tapping into joy and adding a dash of gratitude, we can turn those frowns upside down.

Are you willing to give tapping into joy a try?

You can do it!

[stay-true-wellness]

We are quickly approaching the year anniversary of dramatic changes to our everyday lives brought on by #covid. In light of this anniversary, I challenge all who read this to spend the month of March participating in at least one act of kindness each day. Kind acts can be for ourselves as well as others. It can be a simple as a thought of appreciation a masked smile to a passerby, or text to an out of touch friend. We can begin to build a kinder world around us by starting with ourselves. Kindness is contagious, let’s spread it! If you’re inspired by this challenge, PLEASE REPOST!

[stay-true-wellness]

As part of my training to become an Energy Channeling Healing Instructor, I am proudly hosting an ECH Level I class on 2/21 and 2/28.

If you’re curious about connecting to your higher self and beginning your journey to healing, please visit the @energychannelinghealing IG, follow the link and sign up for this free class. 💗

[stay-true-wellness]

The Greatest Gift-

The ability to love ourselves and others free from conditions, stipulations or judgement.

To love without fear.

To love wholeheartedly regardless of possible outcome.

Love is the source of truth, our true north and hearts compass.

Love is the greatest gift that you can give yourself and extend to others.

It is through love that endless possibilities and true freedom can be found.

_____________________

The above is often easier said than done, as we have been brought up to place conditions on nearly every aspect of our lives. 

By addressing the walls built around our hearts, understanding why they were built, then taking action to remove them we can initiate the healing process and begin opening ourselves to give and receive this wonderful gift. 

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Service Offerings

Koposodo Wellness Offerings:

Trauma Identification 

Removing Emotional and Traumatic Blockages to help facilitate giving and receiving 

Open ended discussions on current and past situations that may have led to emotional blockages

Discussing the importance of (and how to practice):

Self-Love

Self-Awareness

Self-Acceptance

Self-Care

Expressing Gratitude

Discuss and develop an action plan on how embrace a positive mindset and harness it moving forward via:

Heart Opening Exercises

Breathing Exercises

Quieting the Mind/Ego

Letting Go/Releasing “Control”

Recommended Reading (Exercises to Correspond with Chapters) 

If you’re interested in beginning your healing journey or would like more information, please email: koposodowellness@gmail.com

[stay-true-wellness]

How important of a role does acceptance play in your life?

Do you find yourself to be more accepting or resistant to changes/unpleasantness?

When you fight against them do you notice that they seem to create a more turbulent environment and cause a bigger problem than if you slowed your thoughts and went on your way?

Do you find that life continues to flow a bit easier when you’re accepting of the bumps in the road, and proceed over them slowly with care when they show up?

Life tosses curve balls and lays down surprise speed bumps in front of us all too often. 

It is our choice how we respond to them when they present themselves. 

Do you immediately respond to external stressors by stressing yourself? 

Do you clench up, hold your breath and brace yourself for a hit?

Or

Do you pause, take a deep breath and see what will come of the sudden change/surprise?

Do you find yourself remaining calm to figure out how to navigate around the change in turn giving the aggravating force less power?

By pausing for a moment before responding to a potential aggravator or stressor we are giving ourselves the opportunity to assess the situation and handle it with a clearer mind. By taking just a few deep breaths we can bring a more centeredness to our bodies that help enable us to respond thoughtfully as opposed to react out of survival mode.

When we react in survival mode more often than not we do not give ourselves the opportunity to fully process what is going on around us. We react quickly without thought and are left to deal with the potential consequence of our hasty reaction at a later time. 

How often have you had a knee jerk reaction to something that has happened only to later find that particular choice was a gross over reaction, and may have made a bigger mess than the initial stressor had threatened to cause?

We can only control how we respond or react to situations when they occur. 

The difference between the two can create new pathways that can lead to growth, further opportunity, a scenic journey or lead to a road deemed impassable full of ruts, or eventually a dead end.

Let’s take a look at the Serenity Prayer:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.Living one day at a time,enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.”  Amen.

Religious affiliations/belief aside, this prayer has a powerful message from which we can take from.

Are you willing to take steps towards welcoming acceptance into your life?