sugarwithsarcasm

[sugarwithsarcasm]

haiiiii i don’t have anything to ask i just wanted to say i love ur art especially ur gerita art it’s so good ahhhhhhh

ok i lied i do have an ask, do you have any fanfic recommendations ?

Thank u😭❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Some fanfics i really like are-

Gerita fics-

• I'm glad I got you in the end -SugarwithSarcasm

-its just fluff ngl its really good

• The Angel if Venice -worldwidecupcake

-has a very interesting concept

Prussia focused series I really like is Shallow graves by GhostoftheMotif and qualapec

A fic completely unrelated to hetalia that I absolutely love is Return to Romance by Nenya85 from Yugioh (prideshipping-yami yuugi/seto kaiba)

Ill update the list later

[sugarwithsarcasm]

Even without the influence of nationalistic propaganda that always left a slightly sour yet not wholly unpleasant taste in his mouth, Kuro loved every single bit of Japan; equally loving the dark, shadowy parts of Japan as well as the new, innovative side that the government was all too willing to gleefully showcase. And for the longest time, Kuro told himself his love for his country was enough to keep him sane – in fact, enough to thrive in spite of it all. And for the longest time, it was. But then he had to go and meet you.

---

Kuro Honda often prided himself on his self-discipline and restraint, flaunting his honorable and prideful demeanor in front of his impulsive fellow nations, silently mocking them in a manner only Zao and Luciano ever seemed to pick up on. 

Truthfully, he couldn’t credit the entirety of his restraint to his natural temperament, not unless he was trying to blend in among the mortal humans he served. In truth, restraint was intimately intertwined with his own immortality in a way that not just Kuro, but even his impulsive fellow nations he loved so much to mock, fervently hated. Kuro had never held any particularly strong belief in a specific higher power, but if he did then he would happily waltz into Hell and mock the devil themself, for nothing could compare to the torture of the loss of mortality and with it, the loss of true autonomy over his life, an autonomy that the mortal humans that he so loyally and enviously served couldn’t begin to comprehend. 

He didn’t like to dwell on such dark thoughts however. Viktor and Francois had obsessed over such questions several centuries ago and all it got them was a hollowness in their eyes and a dependency on alcohol. Instead, Kuro simply shuffled along the endless stream of time, allowing himself to believe that he should be grateful as it is a most honorable and important duty to represent one’s motherland. Even without the influence of nationalistic propaganda that always left a slightly sour yet not wholly unpleasant taste in his mouth, Kuro loved every single bit of Japan; equally loving the dark, shadowy parts of Japan as well as the new, innovative side that the government was all too willing to gleefully showcase. And for the longest time, Kuro told himself his love for his country was enough to keep him sane – in fact, enough to thrive in spite of it all. And for the longest time, it was. 

But then he had to go and meet you. 

He had seen many beautiful features on humans throughout his time as an immortal, but after a while he supposed it all seemed the same. There was a certain monotony to humankind physically wise that left Kuro quickly bored with beauty after his first three centuries alive. Yes, occasionally some pretty little thing would come around and catch a bit of his attention, but he hadn’t felt such a raw, carnal attraction since he had been young and naive enough to sacrifice his mortality. He hadn’t even realized just how powerful and addictive the feeling was until he had laid eyes on you on that fateful evening.

Kuro had been enjoying the sunset in a beautiful Japanese garden in Tokyo, his loyal companion’s reincarnate, Mochi, happily observing the Koi fish in the pond. It was a weekly routine the two had shared for half a century at this point, one Kuro was convinced he’d never tire of. The occasional person (or even worse, a couple) would walk past the bench where Kuro sat, sending him pitiful looks, but Kuro rarely even noticed them. Until you nervously cleared your throat Kuro, who’s eyes had been closed in an attempt to meditate, he hadn’t even realized he was in someone else’s presence. His eyes quickly blinked with an irritation that melted away as quickly as it came. It was at that moment upon gazing at your breathtakingly beautiful frame and features, that Kuro was finally convinced that there must be some form of a higher power for there was no way one person could be crafted so perfectly in a godless world.

He straightened his posture, Mochi strutting to sit down next him, his head tilting in confusion for never once in the thousands of lifetimes he spent next to his owner’s side had he allowed his cold facade to drop so quickly. Kuro blinked twice, not wholly trusting that you were truly there and not his eyes and imagination playing a cruel trick on him with the shadows. Just as Kuro adjusted to the initial shock of your beauty, a flush covered your face and you shyly fidgeted with your hands. You had lost your phone earlier, you had told him, and wondered if it was left on the bench. Kuro hesitated in his response to you, not out of disrespect but out of amazement at the sound of your soft, smooth voice that could put a siren to shame. Your phone hadn’t been there, and the defeated look of your face created an internal emotional rollercoaster within Kuro. When you began muttering apologies and thanking him, moving away, panic arose within Kuro. Even then, when he barely knew you, Kuro knew he couldn’t lose you, restraint be damned. 

“Please,” Kuro stood up from the bench, a calm demeanor on his face despite the desperation within him, “Allow me to help you search for your phone. It will be dark soon and it is dangerous to wander the streets alone. I insist.” 

Your beautiful eyes widened in surprise, before happily agreeing to the relief of Kuro. How strange, he remembered thinking as he listened to your list where you might’ve left your phone, I’ve always been happy to protect from the shadows and yet something about you lured him into the light, into taking an active role as opposed to a silent, easily forgotten one. 

When you found your phone, you had luckily been the one to suggest exchanging numbers. Kuro relished your enthusiasm and relief upon discovering your phone at a local sweets shop, your eyes lit up. Oh how he secretly yearned for your eyes to light up like that at the sight of him one day. 

Not only had your physical attributes taken had left him breathless, your personality had him in utter awe. He quickly learned that you communicated better through texts and messages, as you were still a bit shy around him, but through online you felt a sense of excitement at having a new friend. You were bubbly online, happily chattering about your various interests as well as questioning Kuro on his. Your intelligence was also particularly impressive, although you seemed dead set on remaining modest, aggressively denying the sparse compliments Kuro would offer you about your company, often returning with some self-deprecating joke that tugged on Kuro’s heartstrings. 

But Kuro reminded himself that he ought to remain restrained. He tried to bury the thoughts of your kind, gentle reassurances you had instinctively offered him when he offhandedly mentioned how his coworker Luciano was becoming increasingly volatile at work or your polite shyness when you met again in person to walk Mochi together. Why did you have to be a mortal human? Why couldn’t he be lucky like Luciano and Lutz and have the potential love of his immortal life be someone sharing the same fate as him? Had he done something wrong? 

Kuro had initially solemnly swore to merely act as a silent protector for you, you didn’t deserve to be dragged down with Kuro and face the hurdles of a romantic relationship with a never aging immortal after all. But one sake-fueled drunk night with Zao had changed his perspective. Despite Zao’s overall stupidity, he had to admit that his drunken reminiscence of the regret he had for not chasing after similar mortal flames he had in the past made Kuro think twice about dismissing you as a potential romantic partner forever. After all, he could just break up with you after some time right? At least he’d get to experience the fullest, most vulnerable version of you he could get, in the little time he had left. 

So he had organized for the two of you to meet up again at that bench where you had first met, about two years after your first meeting. The same one close to the Koi pond Mochi loved to play with. You looked so beautiful in the sunset, sitting on the bench beside him, a warm smile on your face as you both watched the sunset in a comfortable silence. When the sun was halfway towards dipping under the horizon, he had turned to admire you for a quiet second, before quietly saying your name to get your attention. 

“You have been a wonderful friend to me, I hope you know how much I truly adore simply being in your presence,” Your face reddened as Kuro spoke, causing him to softly smile, “however I am afraid that you’ve unknowingly captured my heart and my mind, leaving me wishing for a more intimate relationship with you.” You gasped, your eyes growing wide. Kuro tried his best to restrain his nerves, however the small stumbles in his vocal tone as well as the slightly faster than normal speed of his voice betrayed him. Nevertheless, he nervously carried on. “If you do not return my feelings, tell me now and I will never bother you with this again. We will go on with our lives and I will be silent in my affections and yearning for you, simply wishing you the best in all that you do and remain content with a platonic friendship should you remain comfortable with that.” 

“Kuro..” You started, your voice trailing off, losing its way. Kuro felt a bit worried at your lack of any obvious signs of mutual interest, yet still froze for a second, not continuing until it was clear you had no intention of speaking again immediately.

“Should you, however, return these feelings, simply utter the word and I will become forever yours. I love you so strongly and so recklessly, that despite whatever uncertainty that may lie ahead, you can be certain that I will love you through it all. I must confess I am selfish in my wants, my desires to not only walk by your side throughout whatever life we may go through, but to hold your hand through it all and to kiss you tenderly in the turbulent patches of our life.” Kuro’s voice became uncharacteristically low and soft, his eyes meeting yours as darkness began to envelop the night sky. 

Your hand covered your mouth, your eyes still wide in shock. Kuro sat waiting for a reaction from you, trying his best to appear patient yet couldn’t help his cool and calm facade crumble into a solemn, devastated look with each silent second that passed. “Kuro,” you whispered. Kuro perked up, trying desperately to decipher any emotions hidden in your eyes. He had given you the power to destroy him, to reduce him to become a man with hollow eyes and an alcohol dependency. Whether you accepted or didn’t, Kuro knew it would all end the same. But at that moment, Kuro didn’t care. Mortality was nothing more than just a word to him. “...I love you too.” 

Kuro’s eye’s lit up, overwhelmed with relief and happiness. A loving yet gentle smile betrayed his feelings, as he quietly thanked whatever higher power there may be for the sweet torture of your reciprocated love. You laughed at his uncharacteristically emotional reaction, a warmth blooming in Kuro’s chest spreading slowly to the rest of his body at the sound of your laughter and your love. 

“I’m sorry,” Kuro mumbled, “I hadn’t anticipated this to be as stressful as it was.” 

You smiled, the two of you both equally as flustered. Kuro was smiling as if he had won the world, not even hearing when you spoke the first time, “Kuro!” He snapped out of his dream state, gazing at you with such tenderness you were worried you might break right there, in front of him. “Can you, uhm,” your face began to burn in embarrassment, “Kiss me?” 

Kuro chuckled, raising hand to cradle your face. “Of course my love. I was worried you’d have me waiting forever.” 

He moved to sit down closer to each other so your knees were touching. You felt your breath hitch as you saw him in front of you. His normally apathetic yet beautiful red eyes fluttered close as he leaned towards you placing one hand firmly on your waist and the other one on your jaw, his thumb gently caressing your cheek as he leaned towards you. He tilted his head slightly and leaned forward, hesitating for a moment in front of your lips. You could feel his ragged breath on your lips and closed your eyes, intending on closing the gap between your lips but being beaten to it by Kuro. 

His lips were delightfully soft and pressed gently against your lips, your heart going from stopped to erratically beating with every careful movement of his lips. The way he kissed you so tenderly and sweetly, as if you were a fragile item that he was greatly fearful of losing made your heart feel dizzy. He began to kiss you deeper, his lips massaging yours, somehow finding the most perfect spot in your mouth. He moved a bit down and kissed your bottom lip before teasingly dragging it across your now quivering bottom lip. Your mouth parted, practically begging him to kiss you deeper, for you to drown in each other. He happily obliged, repositioning himself so he was above you, one hand remaining on your cheek, the other sliding down your waist to your thigh. You heard him hum in what you hoped was pleasure, delighted by the buzzing sensation on your lips. He kept on with his tantalizingly slow pace, drawing out every bite of the lip and roll of the tongue. It made you mad with both love and pleasure, the way he drawled out kissing you, as if you were a delicacy that needed to be savored. You felt a bit let down when he bit your bottom lip one last time and pulled away, but then quickly shook your head, a dopey smile on your face. What was the rush anyways? The two of you had all the time in the world. 

Kuro chuckled at your panting, red, smiling face. You seemed so pleased and happy, he smirked as he thought of how you’d react when he’d show you what real pleasure’s like. He grabbed your hand and interlaced them, happiness overflowing him. All of his restraint had melted away as he kissed you and every part of his body was screaming for him to hold you close. For the first time in a thousand years, he felt his heart beat erratically, his throat buzzing a bit with soreness as he too panted for breath, his mouth turned up in an uncontrollably delighted smile. With your kiss you had brought him back to life, out of his slumberous immortality. You had shown him what it was like to be human with even the smallest acts of your love and he was absolutely addicted. The rational side of his brain tried to argue against his recklessness, reminding him that you wouldn’t last forever and would soon wither away at the blink of an eye, maybe even killed by enemies when they learned of your affiliation with a man like Kuro, however that side had been uncharacteristically drowned out, his mind instead racing with fantasies of a pure, loving romance, the kind filled with affection and love he didn’t know he so desperately craved. Fantasies of living together, marriage and even children overflowed Kuro, blinding him from reality. 

If only he had never met you. 

Kuro sighed as he ran a hand through his greasy hair. His bloodshot, hollow eyes scanning the photo album you two had once shared, his hand shaking over the last one; a newspaper clipping. Brutal Murder of an innocent bystander to a Yakuza robbery; a robbery of wealth and dignity. 

Anger built up on him. Yakuza his ass, he seethed. Zao, fucking Zao of all people had the audacity to think ‘your whore knew too much anyways’ and tortured you to death while high because he wanted to ‘feel in control again’ after being the best man at your fucking wedding six years ago. He wanted to laugh, you had been right at that at least, Luciano would’ve been a better fit. He didn’t care for the stupid excuses he gave of being on drugs way stronger than he anticipated or that he hadn’t even shot her, one of his dumbass ‘friends’ was the one. He’d hunt him down and kill him over and over again for the rest of eternity. 

Kuro rested his head on the half empty bed, his arms sprawled out where you used to lay. He missed your warmth, your laugh and your love. It left him broken when he learned of your death, it devastated him. How could the world be so cruel to him yet so forgiving to people like Lutz and Luciano? He hoped that Oliver would be able to find those ingredients for necromancy and would be able to bring you back home to him. He didn’t care for whatever the price would be, if he had to set the world on fire to get you back he would smile for the first time as it all burned. 

“Kuro….” your voice rang out, starling him. He shot up, desperately calling out your name. He thought he saw you in his peripheral vision and shot out of bed, jumping towards the corner of his room only to find nothing there. Just a trick of the shadow damnit, the cruelest trick known to man. 

[sugarwithsarcasm]

Ludwig never really considered himself socially inept, sure, but this, this was just embarrassing. He knows he should be more focused on when did Feliciano consider themselves a married couple, but right now, he's arguing with Feliciano about cars.    And he kind of doesn't hate that.

---

“Ludwig, can I ask you something?” Feliciano sipped his espresso, smiling at Ludwig who hummed as he reviewed hastily typed work documents Alfred had sent him at 2 am. 

“I’m not lending you any more money.” Ludwig deadpanned, his eyes never leaving the astonishing amount of grammatical errors written in comic sans on his computer.  

Feliciano laughed, shaking his head. Ludwig shifted to look over at the bubbly Italian briefly, smiling to himself as Feliciano calmed down.

“Let’s do something stupid.” Ludwig sighed, powering off his computer. “Something dumb and mortal and fun and not work related-“ 

“Feliciano get to the point! We don’t have all day, we both have better things to do then listen to you ramble.” Ludwig side-eyed Feliciano, who giggled and took a bite out of his pastry.   

“Let’s go on a date!” Ludwig’s face turned a bright red as Feliciano rambled on. “We can both get all dressed up and I can pick you up and we can go to a fancy dinner and get gelato and then maybe walk around a garden or something with some coffee and then we can go to this lovely little bakery-“ 

“A date? Like a romantic kind?” Ludwig’s mouth went dry as he struggled to make up a coherent sentence. “ALSO WHY DO ALL YOUR DATES INVOLVE FOOD?”

“Yes, like a romantic kind! Luddy, I didn’t think I’d have to explain this all to you, really,” Feliciano paused, “I really should start listening to your brother but it’s just so much fun to disassociate whenever I see him!” 

Ludwig tried to ignore the butterflies that were violently attacking his stomach as he looked at Feliciano’s smile. “What makes you think we should go on a date romantically? Are our nations requiring an alliance? Did I miss an email-“ 

“LUDDY NO!” Feliciano reached over the table and smacked Ludwig who had been reaching for his phone. “I mean it in a romantic way! Not! Because! Of! Work!” Feliciano took one last bite out of his pastry and a swig of his espresso as Ludwig stared at him in confusion. “Plus, come on! We’re practically a married couple at this point!” 

Ludwig clutched his chest as he felt himself have his third heart attack of the day. “WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?” 

“Oh come on!” Feliciano threw his hands up dramatically. “We are having breakfast together for the third time this week! I made you coffee! I’m literally petting your dog in your pajamas! We slept in the same bed last night!”  

“You broke into my house! If I could, I would have you banned from the entire nation of Germany centuries ago!” Ludwig swatted Feliciano with a nearby notepad, causing the bubbly man to squeak, muttering apologies in rapid (incomprehensible) Italian. Ludwig’s German shepard Aster, let out a soft yelp as Feliciano took his hands off his silky, shedding fur. 

Felicino vigorously shook his head, his auburn bedhead hair flopping around his head like his arms had when Ludwig had first tried to introduce him to weights years ago, a childish pout gracing his soft, tan face. Just as Ludwig began to apologize for being rude (Just as Ivan’s therapist had told Ivan to do, and Ivan had eagerly told just about every other nation in the Northern Hemisphere.), Feliciano began to shake his head and laugh.   

“Oh Ludwig,” he started, his laugh dying down into a soft smile, “you don’t mean that. You know you,” Ludwig watched Feliciano bite his bottom lip and fiddle with his hands that were now both placed in his lap,“you know you like me!”  

“No I do not.” 

“Yes you do.” Feliciano hummed as he got out of his chair, taking his dishes to the sink. Aster lay down at Feliciano’s feet as water began to flow from the faucet as Feliciano washed his dishes singing, “Luddy’s got it bad for me, Luddy’s got a crush on me”, to himself. 

Ludwig paused for a moment and smiled as he watched Feliciano dance and sing to himself as he washed the dishes, the sunlight streaming through the sheer, gaudy floral curtains Feliciano forced Ludwig to put up. He found himself standing up and taking a few steps over to Feliciano who stopped singing and dancing, looking over at Ludwig with a kind of teasing confusion, a daring look in his eye unique to Feliciano. 

Well, Ludwig reasoned to himself, maybe he did feel a little less lonely, a little less hopeless when he was with Feliciano. Maybe he slept a little better near him and wouldn’t push Feliciano off of him immediately when he would find the smaller man clinging to Ludwig and nuzzling into his chest. “Maybe if I have a few hours of undisturbed work ,” he swatted Feliciano’s mischievous smirk with the back of his hand, hiding a playful smile, “then we can have dinner at home and, um-” 

“kiss!” Feliciano dramatically cradled his cheeks in his hands making a kissy face while closing his eyes. 

“NO!” Ludwig yelled, his face burning and his voice cracking. He muttered indignantly to himself and attempted to regain control over Feliciano’s hysterical laughter, “I WILL NOT HESITATE TO STOP EXPORTING YOU YOUR STUPID LITTLE ITALIAN GERMAN CARS.”  

Feli gasped before grabbing a clean, metal spoon and shaking it in Ludwig’s face, “NO PLEASE NO, LUDWIG THAT'S OUR CHILDREN YOU CAN’T-” 

“IT'S A BUNCH OF CARS FELICIANO, ALL IT IS IS A METAL AND ENGINE AND-” 

“YEAH WELL HOW DO AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT YOUR NOT A TOTAL HUNK OF METAL AND I’M ACTUALLY AN ENGINE-” 

Against his better judgment, Ludwig let out a warm laugh, Feliciano quickly joining him in laughter. They stood for a few quiet moments, stupidly laughing together, smiling together, happy together. 

“Feliciano?” 

“Yeah Luddy?” 

His heart skipped a beat, “Make dinner tonight, we’ll clean the kitchen together and walk the dogs in the evening.” 

Feliciano’s eyes lit up, “Can we watch a movie together afterwards?” 

Ludwig smiled, “Deal.”

[sugarwithsarcasm]

"Stop being so difficult Bakugo," Mina flicked the side of his head, "Listen to Denki here, just....be nice for once."

"Yeah bro," Denki gave him a smug smile, "Just use the method and poof! You got yourself a boyfriend!"

OR

Katsuki Bakugo is whipped so bad that he somehow resorts to actually half-listening to Denki's advice. With his own charm, of course. (Read: He kind of fucked it up)

---

Katsuki Bakugo was, often to his detriment, a very passionate person. He’d yell at his video game screen whenever Denki or Kirishima would find a way to shoot themselves in battle. He would get overly invested in English presentations and try to find a way to make them the most pretentious sounding in the class. One thanksgiving, he almost set his house on fire after he realized the pie dough he had spent four hours trying to perfect came out a sticky and goopy mess. 

Point being, he had a tendency to be dramatic at times, and being a fifteen year old boy in the beginning stages of a crush, even he was starting to find himself fucking insufferable. 

Izuku Midoriya. That was his kryptonite. Freaking Deku. He wasn’t exactly sure when or even how he started looking at Deku and the stupid little chemicals in his brain started going feral, but, well, that’s what was happening. 

Like any fifteen year old boy with a crush, Bakugo acted like he knew everything. And, also like most fifteen year old boys, his arrogance was starting to get in the way of acting on said crush.

Bakugo tried to take a deep breath, but ended up inhaling so sharply he made himself cough a bit on his own saliva. The fact that it was only then that his lab partner briefly looked away from her absolute trash tik tok for you page and not during any of the fucking labs made him want to scream. 

“Oh my god this is the third time this period Katsushit” she tapped her annoying as fuck pink acrylic nails on the counter for the thirteenth time that period, “please, I’m begging you, read a wiki how article on breathing or something.” 

“Why don’t you shove your phone up a flamingo’s ass and go be quiet in the corner, Go eat some shrimp or something, pink raccoon.”

“That wasn’t very nice”, Mina pouted, shutting off her phone and putting it in the pocket of her pink metallic bomber that for some reason kept getting on Bakugo’s nerves, “did Kirishima text you about tonight by the way? You are gonna come, right?”  

“No.” Bakugo began stuffing his pencil in a random pocket of his backpack. 

“No as in Kiri didn’t text you or no as in your being a little bitch?” Mina bit her lip and glanced over at the teacher who was making fun of one of the players on the basketball team. 

Bakugo grunted in response, slinging his backpack over one arm and then the other. 

“Midoriya’s gonna come.” Mina sang, nudging him in the shoulder. 

He paused for a moment, poorly hiding the light blush that began to creep its way on to his face. “Fine. I’ll come along but for the record it’s only because Deku‘s mom never lets him get out.”  

Luckily, whatever the raccoon was planning on saying was cut off by the bell, which due to the speakers being blown were chaotically distorted, blared throughout the classroom. He began walking out without her. He rolled his eyes but was secretly a little relieved when she started walking after her. 

“Hey guys!“ an evil, annoying shrill startled Bakugo.. 

“Denki!“ Mina ran over to hug him, like the extra she was, “How was your second period?” 

“I don’t know, I slept through it all,” Denki pulled his hand out from his hoodie pocket and shot Mina with some finger guns as they began walking towards the cafeteria, “did you guys check the group chat by the way? Kiri and I were having our morning anxiety attack.”  

Bakugo pulled out his phone and opened 192 notifications for the group chat he had been forced into, named ‘Denki’s funeral’. 

“Not your I heart hot mom's hoodie!” Mina gasped. 

“Yeah! I was like, sweating bro,”Denki turned over to Bakugo who was silently listening to their conversation, waiting for the perfect moment to insult the pair, “Since I know you won’t actually read all the messages I’ll catch you up; yesterday when I was doing my laundry-“. 

“For once.” Bakugo grumbled as they got in line. 

“-my mom came in and saw my I heart hot mom's hoodie! She asked me where I had found it, was it mine, did I ever wear it, blah blah blah. And I was all; ‘mom I’d never wear anything degrading to women like that! It’s my friend Kirishima’s! He forgot it and I decided to wash it for him, like the holy child I am.” Denki clasped his hands in the air, trying to emphasize his point.

“Only your dumbass would get in trouble for having a hot moms hoodie by your own fucking mom.”  Bakugo chided, trying his very best to contain his laughter. Mina was already losing it. 

Denki laughed, “I know man! But get this, Kiri came over this morning and my mom told him that if she ever caught him with that hoodie again, he’d call his mom!”

Bakugo couldn’t help it and began to cackle. The three of them tried their best to contain themselves as they got to the front of the line. 

Since November that year, Denki had found a hoodie that had written ‘I heart hot moms’ and had worn it almost every day since, it was so stupid it was funny.  

“Can I have the double chocolate chip muffin?” Denki chirped, smiling at the lunch lady. 

“Diabetes.” Bakugo whispered in his ear before walking away with his bagel.  

“Bakubro!!” Kirishima’s voice echoed throughout the cafeteria.  

“Did you finish your English essay?” Bakugo deadpanned. 

“Stop being so annoying Bakugo!” Mina swatted his arm as if he was a fucking fly. “Sorry, he’s just grumpy, his little Deku didn’t talk to him before school today.”  

“Shut up.” Bakugo actually saw Deku running to class late, he probably had overslept. That dumbass was lucky he was cute. 

“Okay so to answer your question, lots of things were done in English,” Kirishima sipped his chocolate milk as Bakugo sighed, “no, I l did not finish the essay. Instead, I wrote a book.” 

And sure enough, at 9:40 in the fucking morning, Kirishima pulled out a stack of lined paper that had been stapled and drawn and written in Crayola with such sloppy writing it looked like a kindergarten assignment . 

“Ooooo” Mina, being the simp she is for Kirishima, grabbed it. 

“I call it; Kirishima has an anxiety attack and a frowny face. But not like a frowny face as in the words, but like, an actual frowny face.” Kirishima said, pointing to the title and the frowny face which had been written in red crayon. “It even has its first review! I showed it to Mr. Aizawa and he wrote ‘get some help’ and gave it five stars!” Mina and Kirishima cheered. “He didn’t cancel the essay though…”

“He just didn’t understand it. No one understands masterpieces until 30 years after they’ve died anyways.” Mina said, awkwardly patting Kirishima’s hand. 

“Kaachan!” Bakugo felt his soul momentarily jump out of his body and tried to jump out the nearest window like that one brown cat that tried jumping out of the window once it saw Denki last week when he went to volunteer at an Animal Shelter. Deku seemed to notice this and laughed. “Sorry Kaachan!”  

“Go away” Bakugo  mumbled, staring at Deku’s tattered shoe laces. 

“Deku wanted to ask you something.” Bakugo glanced up, noticing Todoroki’s emo ass hovering over Deku, who was playfully swatting his elbow. 

“No.” Bakugo tried his best to sound tough as he angrily sipped his chocolate milk. Tasted chunky. The school must’ve invested into the football team again. 

“Kaachan! I was wondering if you were going to go to karaoke tonight!” Deku buzzed with excitement. 

Kirishima and Mina began winking at Bakugo from behind Deku, god Bakugo wanted to beat them up sometimes. 

“Yeah whatever. Don’t expect me to sing though.” Bakugo sighed, trying (and failing) to pretend he wasn’t paying attention to Deku's reaction. 

Kirishima, Mina and Denki (who appeared out of fucking thin air) began cheering loud enough so that the weird upperclassmen’s table began looking at them funny. Bakugo was too distracted throwing plastic utensils at them to hear Deku’s mumbling. 

“Bro, you should totally listen to what Midobro is saying. Stop being so rude.” Kirishima walked close to Bakugo, flicking his forehead. Bakugo made a mental note to steal his beloved cookies later to piss him off. 

“What is it now Deku?” Bakugo said a little louder than he intended. 

“Um well, my mom’s kinda worried y’know? I was uh,” Deku but his lip, his face growing a little red, “..she trusts you and she was wondering if you could um, walk with me to the karaoke place?” 

Mina, Kirishima and Denki started silently screaming, jumping up and down celebrating. Bakugo wanted to drown all of them. 

“What, Deku you're like, a 5 minute walk from uptown, don’t tell me you can’t handle yourself alone for 5 minutes.” Bakugo rolled his eyes, trying to ignore Kirishima crossing his arms, Denki mouthing no and Mina pretending to throttle him, “Why doesn’t your boyfriend over here walk you over?” Katsuki nudged his head towards Deku’s emo ass friend Todoroki, who let out a deep sigh slowly shaking his head. 

“What?! Todoroki- I’m- He’s not-” Deku’s face went red. 

“Really Bakugo?” Mina deadpanned, giving him a rather judgy look for someone who expected to be showered with love for just aggressively complimenting stupidity. Bakugo mumbled for her to shut up, her response being a frustratingly disappointed look. 

“I have a history exam tomorrow. Momo, Jirrou, Tsuyu, Sero, Tokoyami and I already have plans to study so I will unfortunately not be able to accompany my friend Midoriya.” Todoroki gave him a cold glance. It was always so frustrating how nerdy and emo he was, Bakugo would sometimes like to daydream of him absolutely losing it like a normal person (Bakugo) goddamnit. 

“If you don't, that's fine-” Deku began rambling, staring at the floor. Bakugo sighed, and held up his hand, trying to gesture to Deku to breathe and let him speak. 

“Whatever. I’ll pick you up at 6.” Bakugo rolled his eyes, trying to play the flush on his face as anger through his aggressive tone, “Now get outta my way, I have to walk myself to class.”  

“Thanks so much Kaachan! You're awesome!” Deku chirped from behind Bakugo, who had been speed walking, hoping to end the conversation sounding…cool? 

Denki, Mina and Kirishima quickly ran after him, speed walking behind him. 

“Well,” Mina popped the pink bubbles she had been blowing with some pink bubblegum she would give out to just about any girl that batted their eyelashes at her and ask, “That was a disaster.” 

“I know man! I was really hoping Jirrou would come, I was gonna totally serenade her with my awesome singing voice.” Denki’s voice screeched from behind them. 

“Not that bro!” Kirishima playfully shoved the side of Denki’s face. “Bakubro totally lost his groove.” 

“When does he not?” Mina remarked, annoyance laced in her voice. 

“Whatever, I’m gonna walk with him alone, at night. You guys talk big game for a bunch of losers who would combust if they were alone with their crushes for five seconds.” Katsuki finally stopped walking and turned around to face the three of them, rolling his eyes at how Kirishima and Mina were both aggressively trying to not make eye contact. 

Denki beamed, “Guys don’t freak! Look at it this way, we have like 8 hours to teach Baku here the method. ” He waggled his eyebrows, clearly being vague just for the attention. 

“Is the method preying on self-insecure people?” Mina questioned.

Kirishima snickered, panicking and disguising his laughter as a cough when he saw the glare Bakugo was giving him.  

“Hot mom’s over here is right, come one guys we gotta scheme up a method for a bro in need.” Kirishima pumped a fist in the air.

“First, compliment how he looks when you pick him up. Swoon him.” Denki talked in between the final few bites of his chocolate muffin. “Then, do them indirect touches. Brush up against him and stuff. You know the drill.” Denki winked at him, causing him to shudder. 

“No.” Bakugo smirked, “I’m going to flirt with him like I always do.” 

“Bakugo…we’ve been over this. Just because you like insulting him doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt his feelings.” Kirishima scolded. 

“Shut up! My method works more than your aggressively calling people dude and bro type of flirting method.” Bakugo snapped, Kirishima’s face going a bit red. 

“Oh shut it twink!” Mina swatted his shoulder. 

“ Excuse you-” 

“For the love of everything, we just want to see you two happy ‘kay?” Mina cut him off. “Take it from someone who sat next to your little boo for an entire semester– he doesn’t really react to your insults that much, but praise? That’ll light that boy up! Don’t be a blockhead and just…be polite.” 

Bakugo sighed, feeling strangely guilty at the puppy eyes they all seemed to be giving him. 

“Whatever, I’ll try but when it backfires you all owe me boba.” He mumbled, Denki, Kirishima and Mina erupting in cheers as the bell rang. 

---

Bakugo began to dread having to go to Deku’s house that day, struggling to ease his mind and focus on his studies during the rest of his classes, instead opting to sketch a boy with messy green curls and bright emerald eyes. 

“Who is it!” Deku’s mom yelled from somewhere inside the Deku’s small cozy little house. The white metal door swung open. “Oh! Bakugo! Right on time too, my, my haven’t you grown up?” She cooed, Bakugo shoving his sweaty hands in his hoodie pocket. 

“Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled, not making eye contact with her. “My mom says thank you for the lemons by the way.

“Hm, oh well tell her anytime! Well, I’ll go call Midoriya. He’s in his room doing his homework.” She disappeared from the doorway, allowing Bakugo to panic alone by himself.  

“Kaachan!” Deku slid towards the doorway, Bakugo quickly putting on a scowl out of instinct. “Kaachan, you actually came!” 

“Of course I did,” Bakugo was about to curse Deku for being stupid, but instead bit his lip, noticing Deku’s mom silently observing the two boys. 

“Well, um.” Deku’s mom shuffled forward, planting a kiss on her son’s forehead, “Stay safe you two boys, and Bakugo, bring him back before 9.”  

“Yes ma’am.” Bakugo played with his fingers inside of his hoodie, Deku’s mom chuckling before whispering goodbye and quietly closing the door. 

“Thanks so much for coming again Kaachan!” Deku smiled, the two of them walking towards the sidewalk. 

“Whatev-” Bakugo remembered Denki’s advice from earlier, “No problem.” (How desperate was he?)

They walked for a bit in silence, with the exception of when Deku commented on the stars that night and Bakugo grunted in response, clueless to how he could respond to that . Bakugo tried to keep himself cool and collected while simultaneously trying to hype himself to try and actually interact with Deku instead of awkwardly walking together in the quiet darkness.

“I like your stupid fucking eyes.” Bakugo blurted out as they were passing the park. 

Deku’s eyes widened in surprise, “wait, like actually?” His face went red (Bakugo’s face was redder, wishing there were cars driving in the street next to them that he could run into.) 

“Forget it, Deku.” Bakugo tried walking ahead of him, but Deku’s stubborn ass just sped up to keep up pace with him. 

“Kaachan? Can I tell you a secret and can you promise not to be mad?” Deku squeaked from beside him. 

“No,” he said, slowing down his pace so that Deku didn’t have to practically run to keep up with him. 

“My mom said she trusted me to walk by myself. She didn’t say I had to walk with you, I lied.” Deku’s face reddened.  

“What?” Bakugo stopped walking, the two of them standing on the bridge in the park that overlooked the koi pond. “Then why the hell am I even here?” 

“Kaachan don’t be mad, but,” Deku whimpered, his voice shaking. He looked like he was about to cry, his face red, his hands sweaty. 

And it was on that stupid bridge over the stupid koi pond in the extra stupid fucking moonlight that it hit Bakugo, that he was the dumbest most dense person in the world. 

“Kaachan, I um, I kind of um-” Deku bit his lip. “ Ikindoflikeyou.”  

“I’m sorry?” Bakugo stepped closer to Deku, his eyes widening in disbelief.  

“Don’t be mean, Kaachan.” Deku softly mumbled, a defeated look crossing his face as he stared at his shoes. “I know you heard me.” 

“Deku, stupid, fucking Deku,” Bakugo grinned, probably looking like a serial killer to any onlookers, “I kind of like you too.” 

Deku looked up, his beautiful emerald eyes lighting up with joy, “Really! I thought you hated me!” 

“What? No! I was flirting with you dumbass!” Bakugo laughed, feeling giddy with excitement, still he tried to look smug. 

“You told me I looked like I ate paste in Kindergarten!” Deku laughed, walking beside him. 

“That’s because you did Deku.” He taunted, bumping the green-haired teen to the side a bit as they strolled through the park. “Wait..am I supposed to like, kiss you or something?” 

Deku smiled, his face flushing a bit. “Why don’t we just start with holding each other’s hands?” Terrified, yet happy nonetheless, Bakugo slowly reached down to hold Deku’s soft, sweaty hand. He grinned like an idiot over at Deku, who laughed, caressing Bakugo’s equally sweaty hand with his dumb. “Who’s the dumbass now Kaachan?”

“It’s still you, you dense asparagus, It’ll always be you Deku.” He looked over at Deku, running his free hand through Deku’s fluffy green hair, something he had always daydreamed about doing.  

“Always?” 

Bakugo squeezed Deku’s hand, “Always dumbass.” 

(Mina screeched at the both of them when they walked in hand in hand at the Karaoke bar)

[sugarwithsarcasm]

Darius and Hunter spend time at an amusement park, and its all fun and games until Hunter expects Darius to just drink this nasty looking drink, just because he asked him to? What, he thought he was going soft for him? He still had his dignity intact, he was not going to drink what looked like vomit in a cup. (He totally drank it)

---

“Hunter, I thought you told me that you were going to get us some tea.” Darius shook his head at exasperation, glaring at the two bright green slush in identical plastic cups. “ This isn’t tea.” 

Hunter gave Darius a toothy, mischievous grin that had Darius regretting having ever trusted Hunter to get them both something to drink while he held both of their spots in line at some corny roller coaster he hadn’t bothered to remember the name of. “But it is!” He smirked, not noticing the only semi-playful glare Darius was trying his best to give him (it was hard to be mad at the kid, okay?). “According to the cashier, it's a human specialty! Apparently it's all the rage with human kids my age.” He smirked, leaning against the gray railings. 

“Yes well, in case you haven’t noticed, we are both not human teenagers. Titan, I’m not even either of them.” Darius sighed. He was probably being dramatic but in his defense he was really looking forward to some Seawater extract tea. 

“Aw ‘come on! We need to get in the spirit, we’re human today! Everyone here is!” Darius rolled his eyes, a small smile betraying his face. He had taken Hunter to a new Human themed amusement park and although he had initially been worried that Hunter would be a bit too old to enjoy going on rides with Darius for the day, he was pleasantly surprised by how happy Hunter seemed to be, beaming and quickly obsessing over the atmosphere of the park. 

“Yes, I must admit that attitude is fun to an extent, but tea is where I draw the line, the human world is filled with absolute tea filth.” Hunter pouted, his hands clutching on to the two cups. 

“Aw come on Darius, don’t be so stubborn! I bet you’ll like it if you give it a shot. It’s tea, kind of hard to screw up.” Hunter tried shoving a cup into Darius’s arms, who simply crossed them, refusing to look at the mucus colored goop. 

“It’s not tea, it's a milkshake.” He swatted the cup as they began to move forward, “an ugly one too.” 

Hunter stomped behind Darius, still holding onto his two cups. “It is not a milkshake, it's a blended ice tea. A Green Tea Frappuccino with Oat Milk to be specific.” Hunter smiled smugly, Darius almost smiled at how proud he seemed to be with himself. Almost. 

“Oat milk? What strange sorcery exists that allows for oats to be milked?” Darius raised an eyebrow at Hunter who merely sighed and shook his head. “Just drink both, little prince.”

“Noooo,” Hunter whined as they climbed halfway up the stairs following the line and ignoring the strange demonic sounds coming from the strange, mythical human creatures such as a panda and a giraffe. “I wanted us to try something together! You know, adventure together!” 

Darius looks over at Hunter, who is staring down at his tattered shoelaces biting his lip. His expression softened, bending down to reach eye level with Hunter who looked at him with a confused expression. “Fine then little prince, if you wish to go on an adventure, then I will follow eagerly.” 

He relished in the way Hunter’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Really?” He broke out in a wide grin – it saddened Darius when he later realized it was the happiest he had ever seen the poor boy – and jumped up and down. “Oh this is going to be so cool!” 

Darius chuckled as he watched Hunter carefully inspect each cup. “Well? Don’t make me wait too long, I’m becoming more and more convinced against this idea each second that follows.” 

“Hold up, I'm checking which one has more.” Hunter smiled, squinting at both of the cups. 

“Oh give me that,” Darius grabbed a cup out of his hand, playfully shoving him in the process. 

Hunter snickered, “you seem awfully eager.” Darius rolled his eyes, and with a smile, brought the straw to his lips. “Wait!” Hunter poked his arm, “Let’s take a photo of us drinking it for the first time together!” He leaned his scroll against the railing on the floor. Just as he was about to scold Hunter for setting his dirty scroll on the dirty floor, he looked over and saw Hunter beam, yelling out, “Chug it Darius!” 

They both took a sip on cue together, an eager slurping noise coming from Hunter. Darius tensed, expecting a bitter flavor but was surprised by the sweetness of the tea? If he was being honest, although he did enjoy it, it tasted much more like a milkshake than an actual tea. He decided against bringing this up as he saw Hunter’s excited expression, his cup already a quarter of the way down. 

“Take it easy little prince, I don’t want you getting sick on me. This cape is new, if you vomit all over it don’t think I am above making you pay for it to be cleaned.” Darius said, lightly laughing. 

“ISN’T IT SO GOOD DARIUS?????” Hunter chirped, slightly louder than what was socially acceptable. 

“Yes, yes it us little prince, I should’ve never doubted you.” He smiled at him, the two of them walking to a cupboard where they were instructed to set their bags (and drinks, much to the annoyance of Hunter) before getting on the ride. Just as he was about to follow Hunter to their seat, he received a notification from Hunter’s Penstagram account. There he was, a small smile on his face sipping on the icy drink with Hunter who was slurping it excitedly. Captioned underneath the photo read, “Adventurous eats with my dad!!” 

Darius was absolutely beaming on that stupid photo they took of them on the stupid roller coaster, making sure to frame that photo on the wall, making it the first of many family photos. 

[sugarwithsarcasm]

“He’d uh, he’d tell me that the Titan doesn’t favor those who are gluttonous. And that well, basically eating outside of the small portions of food that he permitted me to eat, maybe twice a week, was a way of not only showing devotion to Titan, but…also to him.” Darius grabbed his tea so hard he was surprised when the porcelain handle didn’t crack, “Good Titan, only twice a week?! I remember you always looking a bit malnourished but, well, to be quite frank with the amount of energy your job demanded, I’m surprised you didn’t pass out after an hour running on such little food, let alone…” He trailed off, exasperated.

Vomit had a sour taste to it, regardless of what was being regurgitated, Hunter thought, hunched over the toilet, trying to distract himself from the now routine uncomfortability of throwing up. He tried not to focus on the world spinning around him, the dark shadows of the bathroom crevices taunting him, the harsh cold air scraping against his cold skin. A small stream of sunlight snuck past the purple bathroom curtain, dancing over the left side of Hunter’s face. He was convinced that it was that small sliver of sunlight that tethered him to the realm of consciousness despite his mind drifting farther and farther away from the comfortable, safe reality he had been ever so slowly adjusted to and instead into the terrifying, traumatic memory of Emperor Belos and the castle. 

Just as abruptly as the stream of vomit had started, it ended. The bitter, unpleasant aftertaste of dessert lingering in Hunter’s mouth. As he began brushing his teeth, his body froze. The sound of creaking floorboards, the all too familiar confident yet careful footsteps. Hunter rolled his dark, tired looking eyes, scoffing at his sickly looking reflection in the mirror. It isn’t Emperor Belos, you boneheaded gnat, he chastised to himself, it’s Darius. 

A firm knock came from the other side of the door, “Little Prince? Is everything alright? You’ve been in there for quite some time– wait, please don’t tell me I have influenced you into picking an extensive skincare routine, we only have one bathroom.” 

“Out in a minute.” Hunter slurred, pulling his limp body off the freezing tile floor, wincing at the exuberantly minty toothpaste flavor in his mouth. He groaned as he held his head with one hand, his other hand shaking, clutching the much too cold doorknob.  

Darius was leaning against the beige and royal purple wallpaper in the hallway, inspecting his nails carefully, muttering something as Hunter walked out, his head whipping up when he heard the soft click of the door being pushed into the door frame, letting out a surprised and soft “ oh.” 

Hunter sharply inhaled the frigid, spring air. “I uh, I threw up again.” He squirmed under the pitiful gaze of Darius, sincerely regretting everything that had come in and out of his mouth that day. 

Darius walked close to Hunter and placed a warm hand on his forehead, Hunter closed his eyes and tried to ignore the mumblings and mutterings of Darius and the cold, disappointed gaze he could feel prickling at his frigid skin.

“You feel warm.” Darius sighed, Hunter opened his eyes, peering curiously at Darius’s worried, confused demeanor. “Hunter, this is the third time this week, is there anything you can think of that might be causing these,” He gagged, his eyes darting over to the clay colored chunks in the toilet, “illnesses?” 

Hunter wanted to laugh. There wasn't any food he thought was causing it, only his gluttony. He grimaced as he remembered how he had been stuffing his face with food, his stomach screaming at him to stop but his wounded heart demanding more. The way he ate and ate, shoving the fairy cake he had made in hopes to surprise Darius down his throat, thick tears mixing with crumbs and jams as he ate, hating how he relished in temporary happiness and relief it gave him.    

“No.” Hunter bit his lip, feeling guilty for lying as he saw Darius’s face deflate. 

“Well, no need to fuss about that now I suppose. We’ll figure it out soon enough, I’ll clean the bathroom, get ready for a shower.” Darius gave Hunter a weak smile, clearly disgusted at the thought of having to clean the rancid smelling toilet.  

Hunter paused for a moment, debating if he should confess to being the ‘wild gnome who had eaten all the produce’ last week and ‘the Ashwinder who dropped his lunch in a pond’ the day prior. Instead, the fear of losing the loving, caring safety of Darius and the pure exhaustion that weighed down on him propelled him to grunt and turn towards his room.

His heavy feet dragged across the clean, wooden floors. His body slumped forward, the soldier’s posture he had been conditioned to maintain by Emperor Belos long forgotten. There seemed to be a particularly cruel breeze following Hunter, practically rubbing ice against his shivering frame. Hunter didn’t mind though, it distracted him from the cries and screams coming from his stomach.

---

“Hunter,” Hunter’s eyes darted up from his broth, looking up at Darius who took as deep sighed, guilt knotting in his stomach as he noticed the dark, deep circles etched under his clearly frightened eyes, “I know.” Darius took a sip from a cup of his tea. 

Hunter sighed, wrapping himself in the warm, purple blanket Darius had given him after he showered. (and quickly thereafter, Darius, pretending to have benefited from having to shower after rinsing out the vomit stained towels by hand, telling Hunter, “Now I can lounge around all day just like you little prince. This is a great excuse to do an all day intensive skincare routine!”, his eyes twitching as he tried desperately to not make it obvious that he was trying to avoid the growing mountain of paperwork in the table corner.) 

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that.” Hunter replied dryly, staring down at the brown broth, spinning it with his spoon. 

Darius bit his lip, before making a gagging noise as the acidic tasting face mask he was wearing dripped into his mouth. He was grateful for the distraction from the implications Hunter’s response had. “I got off the phone with the Owl Lady while you were in the shower,” Darius used a napkin, meticulously wiping off the purple goop from his lips, “she…mentioned some similarities between you and an eating behavior of Luz’s.” He set down the napkin, hesitating to speak as he stared at Hunter’s tired, pale face. “There is no food allergy, you’ve been making yourself throw up haven’t you?” 

Hunter sighed, slouching further down, staring at the beige, tile floors. “Yeah,” he bitterly laughed, tightening the blanket around his shoulders, “I was starting to think you’d never catch on.” 

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Darius started cautiously, not continuing until he noticed Hunter jerk his chin up, a mannerism that Darius knew was Hunter’s nonverbal way of communicating that he could go on, he was alright, “is it a body image thing or a he who shall not be named thing?” 

Hunter squirmed in his seat, a pounding feeling in his head making him dizzy. He reached for a cup of water, relishing in how refreshing it felt going down his dry throat. “Belos.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Darius asked, already expecting a certain answer. 

Hunter furrowed his brow, pausing to think for a moment, “Yeah actually.” 

Darius tried his best not to look surprised, masking a smile at evidence of Hunter’s progress by sipping on his tea. “Whenever you're ready, little prince. Don’t worry, there is nothing you can say to me that will make me stop caring for you.” Darius said, attempting to quell one of the biggest anxieties that he knew often held Hunter from communicating his problems with him. 

“The Golden Guard had to be disciplined, and maintain a certain strong physique and well, he thought one of the ways to achieve this was through..well, not letting me eat for most of the time.” Hunter spoke, swirling the vegetable in his broth around with his spoon. “He’d uh, he’d tell me that the Titan doesn’t favor those who are gluttonous. And that well, basically eating outside of the small portions of food that he permitted me to eat, maybe twice a week, was a way of not only showing devotion to Titan, but…also to him.” 

Darius grabbed his tea so hard he was surprised when the porcelain handle didn’t crack, “Good Titan, only twice a week?! I remember you always looking a bit malnourished but, well, to be quite frank with the amount of energy your job demanded, I’m surprised you didn’t pass out after an hour running on such little food, let alone…” He trailed off, exasperated. 

“Well, I uh, I didn’t run on just that.” Hunter smiled, though Darius could immediately tell it was forced, “The kitchen, it was down stairs from my room in the castle, and in the dead of night, when I thought I was going to die of starvation after going such long days without food,” Hunter reasoned as if Darius would’ve been disappointed with him if he didn’t stress his hunger, “I used to sneak down there and…feast. I used to eat. And eat. And eat. The food was so good . The sweet stuff, the salty stuff, the oily stuff, when I was stuffing myself with them I used to feel so– I don’t even know how to describe it uh, in control? Strong? It was just this sense of…comfort, even if it only lasted when I was stuffing my face.” 

“Ah, I see.” Darius muttered to himself, after a moment of awkward silence, “Bingeing.”  

Hunter waited for a moment and against his wishes for the emotional control and discipline that he had from all those years in the castles to stop them, tears dripped down Hunter’s face. “And purging.” Darius’s mouth formed a little ‘oh’. “When I’d come up, I don’t know I was so paranoid that he’d find out. I’d feel so guilty, and disgusted with myself for not being disciplined enough to stop myself. It was so frustrating. This guilt and shame kind of would bubble up in me and make me sick to the point of throwing everything up. And, y’know I know, I know I’m not in the castle anymore and I’m supposed to be safe-” 

“-you are safe.” 

“..right.” Hunter shook his head, “but, I just- I just can’t take my stupid brain off of survival mode. Like, logically, I know! It’s been a long enough time and enough people have told me that Belos, he was wrong about a lot of things! And that I don’t need to starve myself, and then force myself to eat, and then throw it all up! Logically I know, you aren’t Belos, and I don’t need to be so paranoid anymore! And I know all this but…but,” Sobs began overcoming him, snot forming in his nose, “I just can’t. I know, I know it all, I know I’m safe but I just can’t, no matter how hard I try. It’s just- sometimes this whole ‘work on yourself and surround yourself with loved ones to make yourself better’ shtick is just, so hopeless, so worthless. And- and you're trying. I know you are! You’re trying so hard, I- I- know it! Everyone’s trying to help me, but- but I can’t! It’s not you, it’s not anything anyone else did, it’s me.” Hunter sniffled, staring guiltily at Darius' shocked expression, “Maybe I’m not ready to be okay yet. Maybe..maybe I’ll never be.” 

Darius walked around the table, close to Hunter so he could hold him in his arms, “Oh Hunter,” Hunter leaned into his soft shirt, sobbing into it, his shivering frame melting in Darius’s firm one, “first and foremost, I am so proud of you for talking to me. It’s a good step, let’s focus on the good steps okay? You say you can’t, but look at you Hunter, one year ago if I were to ask you if anything was wrong you would either A, get defensive or B, downplay your feelings. But look at you know, you're admitting your feelings, and I know it isn’t easy, but you did it, you can, and I am so proud of you!” Darius cradled the side of Hunter’s face, making sure he could make eye contact with him, “I must be honest with you,” Darius laughed, although Hunter noted it seemed almost unhinged, “I’m- I’m not a therapist, I-  I don’t know the right words to say that could inspire you and- and help you realize that you are an incredibly strong, kind, courageous, perfectly imperfect kid who’s gone through some horrible things, and you didn’t deserve any of it, I don’t know if there are any words. Sometimes, I worry if I’m not, a good enough parent, if- if maybe you’d be better off with Camila or, or the Owl Lady as a parent.” Hunter’s eyes widened in fear. Darius, whose own eyes were starting to spill with tears, quickly rambled on “No! I’m not going to abandon you, nothing could tear you from me little prince, not my own insecurities, not yours, not even death itself. I just, you were open with me and I wanted to be open with you. Little Prince, I love you, with more strength and conviction than the Titan.” 

Hunter seemed to smile at Darius’s rambling, “Yeesh don’t wear yourself out old man,” he gave Darius a toothy grin, his eyes, red rimmed due to crying softening, “I get it, sorry, don’t let my abandonment issues intercept you, it’s just a reflex I swear. You’re a great parent,” He raised a finger and pointed at himself, “it’s me, that’s the problem.” 

“We’re going in circles here now,” Hunter let out a small laugh, Darius chuckling along with him, his purple, gloopy, face stained with tears, “Little prince, what I was meaning to get at, is that I don’t know how to turn off your ‘survival mode’. Some of the scars that Belo- sorry, he left on you will stay for months, years, Titan, there might be some that will be with you on your deathbed, but together, maybe with a bit of communication, maybe I can get some professional help for you and maybe with some more, I don’t know transparency? We can find a way to tend to them, so I can see you happy and living your best life. Will it be easy? No. But hey, I will always try my best to do what’s best to help support you, but I need you to be there with me on this, can you do that?” 

Hunter paused for a moment, thinking. “Yeah, yeah I think I can.”

“That’s the spirit kid,” Darius squeezed him tightly, “Words cannot convey how proud I am of you right now.”

“Yeah yeah, get off of me, your weird face mask stuff is getting all over me.” Hunter swatted Darius’s arm. 

Darius rolled his eyes, “Please, I’ve seen the way you get around that Willow child when I drop you off at school, you’ll be thanking you for having such a beauty savvy guardian in like, a week.” 

Hunter’s face reddened, “Shut up! You're so embarrassing.” 

“Yes well, as much as I would love to be reminded of the painful embarrassment of adolescent love, I’d rather we not discuss it, thank you very much.” Darius smiled playfully at Hunter, getting up and walking back over to grab his cup of tea. His expression softened as he took a sip, “How are you feeling? Do you want medicine? Is the broth too much right now?” 

Hunter’s flustered expression fell to a more solemn one. “I mean, you're a really good chef! Like, it tastes good in general.”

Darius raised an eyebrow, “But?” 

“Well, to me, right now? He shifted in his seat. “It kind of tastes like bile.” 

Darius furrowed his eyebrows, trying to think of the right words to say as he took a sip of his tea, which kind of tasted like bile too. 

[sugarwithsarcasm]

Was it so much for Dipper to ask to get to explore Gravity Falls without the forest throwing a complete wrench at him and ruining his plans? It was always either a) a massive threat that would harm him and trap him in the woods or b) a minor inconvenience that took way more time to solve than it should have.

But even Mabel didn't have being forced to marry a Gnome king (?) in front of his boyfriend who would just laugh at him on her "Reasons why Dipper STILL isn't back yet" bingo card.

Dipper cursed under his breath at the tiny gang of gnomes who cackled as they led him to the tallest building in their gnome village, (about the height of the absolutely ancient speaker set that Grunkle Stan refused to give away because “it still works, if you want one of those fancy bluetooth speakers either steal it or buy it yourself kid!”) pulling him along a loose vine near his hip, forcing him to walk past the gnome village, bound tightly by a bunch of vines after accidentally falling into their “wife trap” while trying to inspect velociraptor prints he had found in the edge of the forest.

“Wooo eee, boss yer not gonna BELIEVE THIS!!!” The white-bearded gnome who sounded eerily like Mcgucket knocked on the door. The door opened, the king gnome (?) walking out of his tiny castle, luckily saving Dipper the humiliation of having to crawl on his belly to enter.

“My WIFE TRAP!!!” The man cried out, doing a little dance, clicking his heels together in the air. “It’s finally gone and trapped me a wife!!” He leered at Dipper, smirking.

“But sir!” A weirdly buff gnome who he assumed was this gnome king’s (??) the bodyguard interrupted his happy dance. “This human appears to be a male!”

The gnome king (???) frowned at him, causing the buff gnome to cower. “You ain’t think I got eyeballs Jerry?! Of course I know he’s male, but look at ‘em, he’s feminine enough for me to consider him my wife!”

“ Excuse you.” Dipper scowled at the brown-bearded gnome, exasperated with himself for having screwed up on enough life decisions to lead him to being in a situation where his masculinity was being insulted by an elderly gnome. “Anyways, there seems to be a misunderstanding, I am not getting married to some elderly garden gnome, I just lost my step in the forest so if you could please just let me go-”

“Silence!” The gnome king (????) gestured for Jerry the buff gnome to kick Dipper’s ankles. “You will be my wife, I have wasted enough of my vines catching stupid phoenix’s and unicorn, I will not be passing on such a wonderful opportunity.”

Before Dipper had a chance to use rather colorful language to curse this gnome out, the Mcgucket gnome interjected, “Now, now, as the town lawyer, I must remind ya sir that there is a rule against forcing the victim of your wife trap to marry yer without the consent of the wife.”

Dipper was about to celebrate, but instead noticed the smug grin of the gnome king (?????), killing any remaining hope he had. “Well, well, well. You think I didn’t know that? My ex-wife’s failed attempts to murder me is the reason that their law was put in place!”

Dipper sighed heavily, thoroughly regretting his life decisions, “I wonder if I just fall forward if the impact of this castle would be enough to give me a concussion?”

The gnome king (??????) ignored him and continued, “So I decided to make sure that any new wife caught in my wife trap would consent to being my wife beforehand! Look closely at the vine he got caught in gentlemen.”

Jerry the buff gnome snatched the loose vine from McGucket the gnomes hand, squinting his eyes as he examined it, “By stepping on this here vine and getting stuck like a dinosaur in amber, you consent to be Jeff Geoff Goffrey’s wife.”

“Well bury me in the ground and call me a groundhog,” McGucket gnome snapped his fingers, “I’ll be darn tooting, looks like you’ve got yourself a wife who finally consents to being your wife!”

“What?! No!!!” Dipper yelped, “I couldn’t have possibly had read that, the writings to tiny! Plus it’s a VINE in a FOREST! I can’t be expected to examine every single vine I come across for an agreement to marriage!”

“Jerry,” The gnome king dismissed him again (no wonder he couldn’t find a wife naturally) “go send the Wedding Invitations to the Mystery Shack and stop by to get a cake on your way back, the wedding will be at sunset!” Jerry the buff gnome nodded and quickly began awkwardly jogging out into the forest. “Jason, go and invite the boys from the neighboring gnome villages – you know who I like and who I don’t – and tell them about my wedding and keep an eye on my bride, I need to start preparing for my big day!” And before Dipper could get out another word, the tiny gnome door was slammed shut on him.

“Ugh, this is not fair! That contract has got to be breaking some kind of laws or, or something!” Dipper sputtered, glancing at Jason, the gnome who gave him a blank looking smile.

“I don’t really agree either if it helps!” He beamed, as if expecting validation and praise from Dipper who merely rolled his eyes.

“Well you're a lawyer! Raise a complaint, find a judge to review the situation or something!”

“I would kid, but cases take ages to get reviewed by a judge around here,” he began leading Dipper into the woods, “I’m the town’s only judge, and I got a nasty habit of putting things off until the last minute.”

Yeah, Dipper was screwed.

---

Bill cackled as he ran up from Ford’s basement after the boring old elderly man had thrown him out for messing with his experiment. Much to this amusement, at the exact moment he entered, he saw Mabel speeding towards the front door and flinging it open, excitedly struggling to open an envelope.

“What’cha got there shooting star? Anyone died recently making you expect a big inheritance?” Bill casually walked over to Mabel, peering over her shoulder at the envelope.

“Nope! Even better!!!” She clawed at the sticky envelope, “I ordered a raffle ticket into the Bad Boyz 4 eva ultimate fan experience concert! My tickets should be getting here any day now, since Waddles already told me I’d win and that oinker of mine is totally psychic.” She began biting at the letter and finally ripped it open.

Her look of excitement quickly dropped to a frown. “Well? What’s it say?”

She sighed, mumbling how she was “too old to deal with this shit.” After a moment she cleared her throat and read in her best impression of a gnome, “Dear residents of the Mystery Shack, you are passive-aggressively invited to attend the totally not forced union of Jeff Geoff Goffrey and Dipper Pines. I still don’t like you, but I want to rub in your faces that I’ve moved on from Mabel Pines. Gifts are mandatory if you want to attend. The wedding is at sunset tonight, the same place as last time. P.S I attached a lock of my future wife’s hair as proof this is totally not a trap. Stay jealous haters.”

Bill cackled, “Man, what did he do now to get him all caught up by a bunch of gnomes? I swear, your brother sometimes even surprises ME.”

Mabel sighed and shook her head, shrieking as a lock of soft looking brown hair fell out of the envelope. “Oooo, do you think that’s actually Dipper’s hair and not like a Grizzly or something?”

Bill took one glance at it and could immediately recognize it as Dipper’s, “Nah, it's totally Pine Tree’s. I know for sure. It’s his hair color and has the same texture.”

Mabel gave him a blank expression, “That’s a little weird Bill.”

He laughed, “If you want to hear weird than–”

“Lalalalala, going to my happy place, pushing Waddles around in a baby stroller at Disneyland!” She singed, plugging her ears with her fingers. “Anyways, tell Dipper I can’t make it because I have a totally hot date with Pacifica today.” Mabel waltzed out of the room hallway and into her bedroom, still singing.

Bill grinned, he couldn’t wait to crash the wedding.

---

“Now I know ya might be nervous,” Jason the gnome lectured Dipper as he tugged him along (he had really hoped they would’ve untied him by now, his arms and legs were sore and his feet hurt from having to hop everywhere.) “But when yer on the verge of a panic attack cause yer so overcome with excitement, just do what I do to calm down, breathe, acclimate, relax and focus, or BARF for short!!!”

Dipper sighed as he turned to walk down the aisle, dressed in some makeshift white cloth they had draped over him that they called a wedding gown and a flower crown. He noticed a horde of gnomes, the only person he recognized was his boyfriend Bill who was grinning at him evilly.

“You look absolutely stunning sapling, I must say, for such a rushed wedding-” Bill started as he passed him.

“Oh shut it and get me out of here already!” Dipper barked at him, earning a tug from Jason and a snicker from Bill.

“Nah, I think I’ll just watch the show. It’s about time you suffer the consequences from barking up the wrong tree, Pine Tree.” Bill smirked and sat back down with the rest of the gnomes on the floor when Dipper reached the front of the altar, where the gnome king (????????) was beaming at him.

Jason the gnome held onto Dipper with the vine, but moved in the middle of him and Jeff. “Gentle-gnomes! We are gathered here today to celebrate the wife trapping of Jeff Geoff Goffrey!” The gnomes in the crowd cheered, Bill, who Dipper was staring at out of the corner of his eyes, simply raised an eyebrow at Dipper and then winked, clearly very amused. “To begin, Jeff, you may now kiss your bride!”

“ What .” Dipper felt his face fluster as he came face to face with Jeff the gnome, who had his lips puckered, making obnoxious kissing noises. He hoped that Bill would see this as the time to interject, knowing his boyfriend’s jealous streak, but much to his surprise Bill seemed to be trying his best not to burst out into laughter. “No! Isn’t this part supposed to come at the very end of the wedding?!?”

“Well urm,” Jason the gnome scratched his head with his free hand, “that’s a very good point. But as per the request of Jeff Geoff Goffrey, I decided to shorten up the wedding a bit, I got a surgery to perform tomorrow morning y'know?”

“Enough with the chitter chatter,” Jeff barked, before leaning in and cupping Dipper’s face with his grubby hands, pulling him close to his face…and then closer… and then bam! Dipper felt the taste of maple syrup as Jeff’s much too chapped lip met with his, he felt like he was going to barf, so tried to take a moment to follow Jason’s instructions to barf, but recoiled in disgust as Jeff attempted to bite his bottom lip.

The forest erupted in the cheers of gnomes, continuing even after Dipper had squirmed out of Jeff’s grasp. The second he broke the kiss, he sent a worried glance over at Bill, fearing that the his dream demon boyfriend would somehow be mad at him for practically cheating on him, but was instead very annoyed as he looked over at Bill who was practically dying of genuine laughter, to the point where he was wheezing and grabbing the attention of the very annoyed gnomes surrounding him.

“Gentle-gnomes!” Jason the Gnome announced once the applause (and hysterical hyena laughs) had begun dying out. “Before we concede and make this official, are there any of you who wish to oppose this union and agree to a duel against Jeff.”

Dipper smiled to himself as he watched Bill slowly get up, still chuckling to himself. “I have an opposition to this union!”

The room gasped, gnomes moving out of Bill’s way staring at him in shock as he sauntered over to Dipper, grinning. Jeff huffed and crossed his arms, “And what might that be?”

“You see, it just so happens that your so-called wife is madly in love with me, like, to the point of obsession.” He looked over at Dipper, mischief in his eyes, “Like, it’s very concerning Dipper.”

“Oh shut up,” Dipper rolled his eyes, trying his best to hide the wide smile on his face, “it’s about time you do something. I was starting to reconsider cuddling.”

Bill pouted at him, before breaking out into an even bigger grin, “and after having to watch your lame attempt at a kiss,” Jeff’s face began to grow red with anger or embarrassment, probably both, “I thought I’d finally entertain my poor little sapling and give you a lesson on what a real kiss is like.”

And with that he leaned over to Dipper, the vines binding him together disintegrating as he touched them. Dipper couldn’t hide the smile on his face any longer, and smiled wider when he noticed a similar beaming look on Bill’s face. Bill wrapped his arms around Dipper’s mid-back and pressed their foreheads together for a moment, before unexpectedly dipping him kissing him, the flower crown he was wearing slipping off and falling to the ground with a silent thud.

Dipper enjoyed kissing Bill, more than he’d ever admit to the already overly arrogant dream demon. This kiss wasn’t as emotional as their first one, as fiery as their occasional late night ones or as desperate and relieved as his heartbreaking ones, instead, it was comfortable, almost routine. The way Bill grabbed Dipper firmly, yet kissed him so gently and caringly, as if Bill was scared of breaking him, made his head dizzy. The feeling of Bill’s soft lips pressing against his slightly chapped lips, without any of the extra add ons and bells and whistles of kissing was bliss and Dipper was certain he could’ve happily melted right there in Bill’s arms.

That is, if they weren’t kissing in front of about 45 horrified looking gnomes.

The sound of Jeff clearing his throat broke the kiss between the two of them, Bill holding firmly onto Dipper and bringing him close to his chest, now in an upright position. “And that, my dear short gardening decoration, is how you woo a Pine Tree.” He said smugly, resting his chin on Dipper’s embarrassingly dirty hair.

“This-” Jeff stumbled on his words, yelling something in a language Dipper didn’t recognize (that Bill would later tell him was Finnish, because hey, why the heck not?) and then jumping off his little make-shift podium and attacking Bill’s leg.

Bill cackled at the gnome. “Oh you wanna fight? Well, my next move I guess HUH? Hold onto your cap kid!” He shook his leg, dropping Jeff to the ground, and then promptly kicking him so hard he flew above the trees and into the horizon, screams of revenge echoing throughout the forest.

The gnomes screeched as they saw their gnome king (?????????) fly off into the now starry night sky, with the exception of one gnome that just yelled “Shmebulock!” in a victorious tone.

“Come on kid, let’s go home.” Bill grinned, grabbing one arm around Dipper’s waist and snapping his other hand. In one quick, dizzying moment, they returned to their room in the shack, still entangled in each other’s arms.

“You’re such an asshole. ” Dipper tried to scowl and push Bill away. “Making me go through all of that. How I have the patience to deal with you astounds me.”

Bill laughed, “Ah, but kid, you should have seen the look of horror and disgust on your face! In my defense I’m a demon, these things are hilarious to me.” Bill pulled Dipper closer to him, nudging Dipper to look him eye to eye, their noses brushing against each other. “You knew this and yet look at you, voluntarily exchanging passionate kisses with a dream demon in public.” He pressed a soft, quick kiss against Dipper’s lips.

“Yeah yeah, I didn’t agree with the public meaning in front of an entire village of gnomes though.” Dipper swatted Bill’s chest, secretly relishing in his warm laughter.

“Aw come on kid, be honest with yourself, you’d get yourself in situations like these all the time if I wasn’t here! Don’t give me all the credit,” he kissed Dipper’s cheek, “your the train wreck in this relationship.”

“Excuse you.” Dipper frowned. “Anyways, I’m gonna go take a quick shower, feel dirty after being abandoned for a whole day from my asshole boyfriend-”

Bill snapped his fingers, and suddenly Dipper felt refreshed and clean. “Done,” Bill smiled, flopping down into their shared bed, “come cuddle with meeee.”

Dipper gave him a strange look, “someone’s extra affectionate today?”

“Don’t be difficult Pine Tree, I can still easily snap you out of this plane’s existence.”

“Alright, alright,” Dipper raised his hands, before climbing under the blankets with Bill, “there. Happy?”

Bill hummed in response, hugging Dipper from his back, leaving a small trail of kisses from his neck to his jaw. Dipper relaxed in the affectionate and comfortable gesture, the exhaustion of the day slowly wearing him down.

Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, he heard Bill whisper in his ear, “Sapling? This whole marriage stuff…the whole human societal convention where you brag about love and commitment and all of that other fake jazz done to make partner’s feel more guilty about breaking up..what do you think about it?”

“Hmm? Marriage? I think it’s pretty sweet actually. Getting to exchange vows and tell each other how much you love and are devoted to each other in front of close friends. I guess I always imagined myself having one and kind of got attached to the romantics of it all.” Dipper mumbled, half asleep.

Bill flipped Dipper over so they were facing each other. He could see Bill with a soft smile, a special smile he knew was reserved just for him, through his half-lidded eyes. “Sapling, my little Pine Tree, I have given you my demon form, my mind, my black hole of a heart and if I still had it I wouldn’t think twice before giving you my soul. It scares me how much I’d sacrifice for you and how much you make me feel…undemon to say the least kid.” He squeezed Dipper, “Maybe I haven’t shoved cake in your face in front of your sister, but make no mistake my little sapling, I’ve been devoted since day one.”

“I know, Bill. Don’t worry. I love you too, asshole.” Dipper mumbled, beaming as he began to doze off.

“I love you too sapling,” he pressed a kiss to the stars on Dipper’s forehead, before drifting off to sleep himself, “more than you may ever realize.”

Dipper dreamed of weddings that day, not a disastrous one, but a happy, romantic one, the kind he’d envisioned for himself when he was twelve and watching say yes to the dress reruns with Mabel. He knew though, that wouldn’t happen. Bill mocked human conventions constantly, and the concept of marriage itself was not free from Bill’s wrath. But, it didn’t really matter to Dipper if he was being honest, he was content where he was with Bill at that moment in time, he was happy with it all.

Little did he know, Bill had gone ring shopping with Mabel that very next day.

[sugarwithsarcasm]

“Oh my beloved Pine Tree, my sweetest little sapling, my darling little incredibly stubborn, annoying in a cute way lovebug-”

“No.” Dipper deadpanned, taking a slow sip of his coffee, refusing to look up from his physics textbook because he had 10 homework pages on impulse and momentum left for him to finish in about three hours that he would’ve done had Bill not insisted on barging in with a very pissed fae stuck in a mason jar that needed to be returned and compensated for the trauma of being with Bill so honestly fuck him.

“You didn’t even hear what I asked for.” Bill pouted, dramatically throwing himself over Dipper’s desk causing Dipper’s paper to slide.

“The fae you kidnapped didn’t hear what you asked for either I bet.” Dipper remarked, attempting to push Bill off of his textbook, cursing himself for not investing more in a gym membership, “go away, I have stuff to do.”

“Aw come on! That’s not fair, I was trying to be romantic and surprise you, what doesn’t scream romance more than your very own source of faerie dust! You know that bratty little magical mosquito would’ve opened a lot of doors for you Pine Tree!” Bill chirped, ignoring Dipper’s various protests to his affection.

Dipper sighed, slamming his pencil down on the table, letting himself fall into Bill’s trap. “First off, Bill, we’ve been over this! I don’t like magical creatures who were terrorized by you as a gift. It’s called moral’s, we’ve been over this multiple times.”

“Ah yes, you and your human morals, so finicky. I know your morals, I know a lot of things about you sapling!” Bill casually mentioned, sipping on some water (for the first time in his 4 years as a human, Dipper dully noted.) “I know your deepest darkest secrets, fears, worst memories,” Bill made a point of moving so he was standing over Dipper, his hands gently massaging into his shoulder — Dipper could practically see the obnoxious waggle of his eyebrows, god that idiot — and bent over to whisper in his ears, “ desires. ”

“My deepest desire right now is a world where you can leave me alone for some quiet and peace. And maybe 20 bucks, raunchy, I know.” Dipper grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Aww, someone’s extra grouchy today, woke up with moss on the wrong side of your tree trunk Pine Tree?” Bill pinched Dipper’s cheeks, who let out an annoyed hum in protest, “Well, according to those magazines Shooting Star sent me for research,” Dipper’s physics grade (as well as his mental sanity) was screwed , “as your perfect boyfriend, you are no longer allowed to be stressed! We are going on a — what was it called again uhh,” he summoned a magazine with a half naked blonde dude in sunglasses titled ‘Girls Confidential! The ultimate guide to make a summer fling into a for-eva thing!’, “mental health break!”

“I took a mental health break 5 days ago, not time for another one yet.” Dipper mumbled to himself, remembering how nice it was to watch that movie with Bill, cuddling.

“Too bad! When I’m done with you, you're going to mentally break more times than you actually work!” Bill booped his nose, smiling brightly.

Dipper wasn’t sure if he was screwing with him or being genuine at this point. Just that, once again, Bill was probably going to win his argument, and honestly? He had been staring blankly at his physics homework for the past twenty minutes, a break wouldn’t kill him. “You have an hour.”

Bill did a fist pump in the air with one hand and used the other to drag Dipper so hard he started to experience vertigo towards the door. “Yes! Point trillion, Bill. Three points for Dipper.”

“How’d I get three points? Should have more honestly, for having to deal with your chaos. I’ve saved the world like ten times at this point convincing you not to speed up the universe’s natural heat death.”

Bill grinned, looking up at Dipper as he practically shoved him out the door, “Bagging me of course! A point for each of my delicious angles.”

Dipper groaned, it was going to be a long day.

“The grocery store, really Bill?” Dipper rolled his eyes, trudging along slowly behind his rather energetic boyfriend.

“Would you have preferred a Deer torturing chamber?” Dipper sighed at his boyfriends sarcasm, mentally preparing him for the frustrations of entering a Dipper torture chamber.

He hated grocery shopping with Bill, with a fiery passion, for three simple reasons. One, someone always went up to try to flirt with him, and Dipper would always awkwardly stand to the side, staring at his shoelaces. Lo and behold, two giggling college aged girls approached Bill while Dipper stood by the cart as Bill was trying to juggle the tomatoes in the produce section. He watched them coo, and laugh, one particularly brazen one trying to wrap her arm around Bill’s arm, commenting on the size of his muscles and abs. Dipper tried to ignore the pang of insecurity he felt, reminding himself that he had a lot of issues in his relationship with Bill, but infidelity was luckily not one of them.

Bill had swatted the two girls away and came running back to Dipper with his tail between his legs, clearly startled, which was always funny. “Sometimes I forget how much you humans are ruled by your reproductive organs kid!”

Second reason he hated grocery shopping with Bill was because guess who found it funny to be a complete inconvenience to the poor, underpaid grocery workers? Bill. Not even two seconds after he dropped the girls, Dipper caught him trying to fill empty soy sauce bottles with maple syrup and promptly yelled at him, contemplating traveling through Ford’s portal to escape the embarrassment of being stared at by a middle aged mom and her family.

Third reason he hated grocery shopping with Bill was because Bill wanted everything, and guess who always ended up paying? Dipper’s bleeding wallet. They had reached Dipper’s personal least favorite aisle, the cookie aisle. He tried to avoid it, due to the mere sight of the cookies made Bill want to steal every Oreo in the store and hole up in a corner eating oreos with milk.

"SAPLING THEY HAVE DOUBLE STUFFED OREOS TODAY!" Bill announced, much louder than socially acceptable and to Dipper's horror, was shoving multiple cases of Oreo's into their cart.

"I'm not made of money y'know."

“True, true,” Bill grinned, “you think they accept gold bars?”

“I swear, you better not do that to me again.”

Bill threw back his head and started cackling again, “Of course not, I could never abandon my little sapling.” Bill teased, wrapping his arms around Dipper and pressing him to his chest. “Glad you came by the way, you’ve been so busy I can barely get you out of the house, let alone a proper date.”

Dipper felt guilt churn in his stomach. He had been so consumed with passing his classes and finals, he had put his relationship with Bill on the back burner. “Hey, soon. We can go to some fancy Italian restaurant where they give free bread and butter and be that obnoxious couple that makes out every five seconds,” he joked, his face going pink.

“Really?” Bill smiled wider at Dipper’s quick nod, kissing the top of his head, “Yeesh kid, you aren’t ready for the date I’m going to take you on, spoiler alert, there’s aliens involved!”

It was going to be a long few weeks, Dipper noted. But at least now he had something to look forward to, even if it might end up being more stressful than his actual college work.

At least he would have Bill.

[sugarwithsarcasm]

Violent nighttime encounters with strange, powerful mystical creatures were practically routine to Dipper. It always went the same way anyways, didn't it? Dipper went out and did something stupid, Bill drags him back and is an unbearable arrogant asshole about it. They give each other the cold shoulder for the night until they wake up in each other's arms and begrudgingly ignore Dipper's lack of communication. Yeah, maybe they could handle it in a healthier way but Bill seemed to be doing fine.

But then one night after Bill drags Dipper's bloodied body back to the shack Dipper looks over his shoulder as he's sulking and realizes maybe Bill wasn't handling this as well as he initially thought he was.

“You’re a bastard.” Bill’s amber eyes narrowed, his jaw clenching as he rubbed flecks of Dipper’s dried blood between his fingers while searching for a rag in the closet.

Dipper shifted, standing at the doorway of their shared room. “That’s funny coming from you of all people.” He had attempted to lighten the mood, but even with his blurred vision in the dark room, he could see the death glare Bill gave at him. Not the best time, he blamed the damn pressure in the back of his skull for his lack of social awareness (not that he was any better at it when in good health.

“Shut it with the smart ass attitude kid and sit down on the floor.” Bill had his back turned to Dipper now as he began to more aggressively rummage through the closet, the coldness and apathy of Bill’s normally hyper-emotional voice frightened Dipper.

Swallowing his pride, Dipper slowly dropped himself on the cold, wooden floor, obeying Bill’s command as if Dipper was some lost wolf with droopy ears and his tail between his legs. His limp body hit the floor with a resounding thud as the world began spinning around him. Get a grip Dipper, focus on something, he could hear his voice telling himself. The floor was cold. Dipper furrowed his eyebrows, was his body cold or hot? Did his bare, bloodied legs feel good on the cold mahogany floors or were they tortured by it? It was as if his body couldn’t make up its damn mind.

Dipper’s eyes darted towards Bill, who was clutching onto a rag with one hand and a water bottle with the other. His cold expression frightened Dipper, his survival instincts yelling at him to run, as if Bill was just another forest monster lurking in the shadows, preparing to eat Dipper alive. To call Bill a monster would be a vast understatement, but then again, most demons didn’t save Dipper out in the middle of the forest in the dead of night, dragging his half dead body a mile and a half. And certainly no monsters ever did so. But the frustrated glint in Bill’s eyes didn’t exactly calm him down.

“Close your eyes.” Bill hissed, grabbing Dipper’s face and bringing it close to his. Dipper obliged.

“Now’s not the time for a make out session you know.” Dipper whispered jokingly, but the growl from Bill shut him up. Funny how the normal roles were reversed, he wished that it was Bill’s warm voice making stupid jokes trying to put him in a happy mood and not Dipper’s own strained voice.

And so they sat in silence for an eternity, with Bill’s quiet curses stringing Dipper from passing out, foolishly hoping every time he heard Bill’s voice that it would be something, anything of substance hidden beneath an arrogant monologue. But he never did, instead, Dipper pressed his eyes closed, feeling the blood on his face smear as Bill attempted to clean his excessive evidence of his recent failure.

When he felt the rag leave his face for a substantial amount of time, Dipper lazily fluttered his eyes open and stared at Bill, who was grimacing at the bloodied towel and the fresh blood that coated his fingertips. Bill looked up at Dipper, licking his lips before opening his mouth, then quickly closing it, inhaling deeply. “Why?” Dipper tilted his head in confusion. “Why the hell are you always doing this kid?!” Bill’s voice shook as the volume rose, his face fuming. Dipper squirmed, trying to make himself look smaller as he mentally thanked whatever higher power was out there for making his Grunkles and Mabel spend the night at Pacifica’s after a long day of helping her move into a new mansion. “You selfish brat! Always have to go out and play hero huh?! You can’t have anyone help you, you don’t even have the decency to let me know that your running out in the middle of the night for who knows what reason-”

“I already told you! ” It was Dipper’s turn to raise his voice now and glare back at Bill to the best of his ability. “That werewolf has my nightshade vial and it can track Mabel’s scent! You can’t just expect me to sleep here and do nothing! That thing could have already made it passed the wards and-”

“And we already had that situation settled six hours ago!” Bill’s voice cut through Dipper’s own weak voice, “Ford and Stan were gonna have shifts standing guard and Mabel bathed in amaranth elixir for added protection and to scrub off her said scent! We had a plan, you agreed to the plan, but no! Apparently that’s not enough for you, you just had to go play hero huh?!” Dipper opened his mouth to defend himself but Bill’s death glare shut him up again. “Don’t even! I can already hear you, I know, you’ve regurgitated the same bullshit excuse so many times now I’m over it !”

“-No you don’t-”

“ Oh but there’s too many risks in that plan! Someone had to throw the werewolf off, it was an impulse, a forced bad habit I can’t control, you know how I get when I’m paranoid, how could I just sit there?” Dipper bit his tongue, “You seem to think about everyone else all the time, but you never about how much your screwing up with me by running out and getting yourself beat up in the middle of the night."

“Bill, you know I’m sorry if that thing hurt you and–”

“You think this is about that mutt!? Are you even fucking listening!? ” Dipper nodded his head, flinching backwards, “I’m a demon kid, I wouldn’t care if I had to kill some dumbass hellhound every day for you– hell, I’d be delighted ! It’s how you don’t even give me the chance to help and instead I have to hope I get lucky enough to wake up and see your not lying next to me on bed, – fucking panic because I have enemies kid that the second they find out about you, would do worse than kill you – and then race to find you bloodied, practically dead on the floor by something I could’ve wiped out easily if you’d just waited a couple more hours or at the very least woken me up too!! All this about you not being able to fucking rest– you selfish hypocrite you expect me to just rest with all of this? To get over it every! Fucking! Time!? Until I don’t get lucky and the one thing that I psychotically love and adore is murdered while I’m fucking sleeping , thinking the pillow you slipped under my arm is you? How dare you have the audacity to assume, me, Bill Cipher, King of the literal Nightmare Realm would just happily accept that the only thing that's keeping me grounded could be out getting killed by a fucking over glorified dog!”

Bill was practically screaming in Dipper’s face at this point, flecks of spit getting on Dipper’s face. Dipper stared wide-eyed at Bill, his usual beautiful amber eyes turning blood red as he tried to calm himself down, looking at Dipper who just sat there dumbly, in shock. Bill had never been the type to emotionally snap, and Dipper wasn’t sure if he was terrified or humiliated with himself.

After a few moments of silence, Bill sighed, raking his bloodied hand through his blonde hair. “You know, you made me hate Gravity Falls. This dimension. All of it. Because every time I enter it after being gone I have to physically brace myself, dreading that I’m going to enter this dimension and……you're gonna be dead, killed by some creature thing. Sometimes I want to just steal you away to some pocket dimension where you’ll be safe for eternity.” Bill’s eyes softened as he cupped Dipper’s cheek, “Listen, sapling, I shouldn’t have screamed or cussed you out but the message still stands. You need to change. I can’t just be watching you 24/7 anymore, your wards make that impossible now. It’s,” Bill winced, licking his lips, “I swear, if you don’t start telling me when you’re feeling antsy kid this isn’t gonna work.”

Dipper’s breath hitched as panic swelled over him, “Bill! No, no of course I’ll start telling you don’t leave me I-,” Dipper shakily breathed out, “I’m stupid okay!! But I- damn okay I mean, yeah, I have a paranoia problem, should probably go see someone about that but I- I- never meant to cause you harm! It’s just, I get, ugh. I’m so used to doing these things on my own, I don’t want to lose you, I’m sorry, you know I love you, I’d die for you-”

“Pine Tree nO.” Bill grabbed his face with both hands, rubbing his soft cheeks in circles with his thumbs. “I’d die for you, but I don’t need you to die for me. Kid, I need you alive. Please, just..don’t be an idiot anymore, I- I get worried to dammit.”

“Alright, okay.” Dipper leaned forward, relishing on the feeling of Bill’s hot breath on his cold lips, “If it means I’ll have you, it’s a deal.” He whispered.

“Thank Axolotl, now let me show me how relieved I am dumb ass.” Bill whispered, his voice lowering as he hungrily eyed Dipper.

Bill practically leapt onto Dipper’s face, cradling Dipper’s face delicately, caressing it as he pressed his lips onto Dipper’s. Bill’s lips were delightfully soft. There was an urgency in his kiss that was rare whenever they kissed, the desperation clear through the immediate roll of his tongue over his lip and light nibble on his bottom lip, rather than the long, drawn out process Bill loved to tease Dipper with. Dipper’s often pointless immediate attempt at deepening their kiss was immediately reciprocated with a hungry desperation that made Dipper’s heart go into a frenzy. A pleasurable buzzing on his lips overwhelmed his brain, immediately leaning back into Bill every time he broke the kiss to take a breath, the other kissing him again with an even greater fervor. Insanity, Dipper concluded, was this sensation, of Bill’s relief massaging into his lips, biting his lip and dragging his tongue against Dipper’s lips. And he’d happily be mad for the rest of his life if this is what it entailed.

As for his own inner demons? He had a demon he could fight them with now he supposed. (A hot demon too.)

[sugarwithsarcasm]

Was Dipper being a bit melodramatic? Maybe. But his ability to perform well in a classroom setting was his thing damn it! It felt wrong to look down at his graded paper and see a big angry F, and then just waltz away to go spend the night with his boyfriend like he deserved any of it. At least the bread sticks were pretty damn tasty. Or, Bill comforts his boyfriend after he gets his first F on an exam in college.

Dipper glanced around the restaurant with an empty expression, feeling claustrophobic, stuck in a room full of bright eyed happy couples with snippets of their soft, lively chatter stomping on his poor, exhausted heart. He attempted to eat his bitterness and pessimism away as he chewed impatiently on a piece of warm bread, glancing around the restaurant for his late, asshole boyfriend.

“Pine Tree!” Bill’s overly enthusiastic sharp voice cut through Dipper’s train of self-pity, however he quickly readjusted as was, making sure to give Bill the most aggressive glare he could muster. “Hey, c’mon kid, don’t go giving me that cute face already! I have so many annoying remarks rehearsed! It takes away from the fun when you're already mad at me from the start.” Bill pouted.

“You're ten minutes late,” Dipper whispered in a low voice after taking a long sip of his water, his hollow, red, puffy eyes flickering up to Bill’s soft amber eyes as he spoke, a low fire burning within them, “even though you’re the one who was so adamant about dragging me away from my studies, you couldn’t even be bothered to show up on time.”

“Woah, woah, woah now kid, let’s calm down now, no need to get your pine needles in a twist! C’mon, you of all people should know that this stupid concept of time this universe has is just some random crapshoot out of your ancestors ass that you’ve all become waaay too attached to as a society! Why would some god-adjacent powerful immortal being such as myself waste my precious existence memorizing those stupid rules?!” Bill’s warm laughter did nothing to comfort Dipper, who continued to glare at the demon as he stuffed his face with a breadstick.“ Really sapling, you should be proud I didn’t miss you by ten million light years.” Bill grinned expectantly at Dipper, gleefully waiting for him to try and retort with some witty comment, however he frowned when he realized that a deep sigh of exhaustion was all he was going to get from the kid. “Also Waddles stole the shoes I was going to wear and Mabel made me chase him around the shack to get it. But it was mainly the first reason that caused my excessive tardiness!!”

Bill watched closely as Dipper shook his head and muttered something to himself. Clearly, the kid had taken some sort of superficial emotional beating and Bill had kinda felt like doing something nice for his sapling but it was kind of difficult to be flirty to an unresponsive depressed (attractive) twenty year old college student.

Bill took a sip of his water, wiggling his eyebrows. “So how’s hell been treating you kid? Anything you’ve been conditioned to learn that you feel like learning the truth about?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Dipper grumbled, Bill could practically hear his teeth grinding together as he chomped down one of the last breadsticks on the table.

“That’s such a lie kid– college is the only thing you ever want to talk about.” Bill laughed brightly at the red flush that dusted Dipper’s nose and cheeks. “Don’t worry kid, it’s really refreshing after a long day of drugs, lust and power to come home to my cute sapling panicking over their grades.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, I'm obsessed with academic validation from some meatsack prison.” Dipper rolled his eyes, “you kind of signed up for this really when you started dating me. If it annoys you so damn much why don’t you just kill me then?”

“I’ve looked into that kid, you're a lot more fun when you fight back though. Bet you can imagine that’s kind of hard to do when you're a disembodied corpse.” Bill frowned as he more closely inspected Dipper. “Also what the hell is wrong with you kid? I’ve seen you disappear into the Gravity Falls woods for three days and come out less beat up. Someone making trouble for you at your fleshbag propaganda prison? Cause I’ve been looking for a new puppet to experiment on!”

Dipper ran a hand through his hair, grimacing when he noticed how greasy his scalp was. “No it’s not that it’s just..ugh never mind you wouldn’t get it.”

“I’m an omnipotent dream demon that manipulates people using their greatest desires, kid, try me.” Bill scoffed when Dipper rolled his eyes, “Hey don’t make me go all hereditary on your uncommunicative ass.”

“Fine, fine, fine.” Dipper took a pump of hand sanitizer from the table and cleaned his hands, wincing at the feeling of the gel burning the various paper cuts on his hand. “It’s embarrassing um, I uhm,” Dipper shrank back in his seat, his voice softening, “I failed my biology exam.”

“and what? Did the professor try to dissect you like a frog or something?” Bill grinned, speaking in between bites of the last breadstick.

“I- no! Of course not Bill! For the love of all things….demonic, not everything is about torture and blood.” Dipper scowled at Bill. “It’s just…I don’t fail these kinds of things! Bill lifted up an eyebrow as Dipper huffed to himself, “Listen I just, I don’t fail school! I fail a lot of things but this one of the one things I have going for me; I can follow directions really well! It’s like school’s a cult and I’m the blind follower drinking the kool-aid!”

“Sounds about right, kid.” Bill cackled while Dipper flicked a breadcrumb at his eye.

“It’s just, being smart is kind of my thing. I was never funny or hot or strong but I was always the intelligent one, the one teachers would look at and go ‘oh what a smart kid, he’ll go places’. Plus this school shit is so ridiculously expensive, poor Grunkle Ford and Grunkle Stan are probably breaking their backs trying to support me and look at me failing exams! It’s like I’m failing them too. I wish I was actually smart like Grunkle Ford and then maybe I could-”

“Did Sixer ever tell you he failed chemistry three times?” Bill cut in, taking a long dramatic sip of his water, thoroughly enjoying the theatrically confused and annoyed expression on Dipper’s face. “Or is he a manipulative little lab rat about that too?”

“….no, he never mentioned anything about failure.” Dipper tilted his head to the side, his dark brown hair bouncing as he moved.

“Yeesh, listen kid, your old man and I were working on this totally-not-evil-or-torturous-thing that basically required he learn a shit ton about chemicals pretty quick and since Fordsie never had anything better to do he enrolled himself in chemistry classes at some wack college, did pretty good in the general classes, but once he got to the not top-tier but like, ‘I wanna cut up people’s body for a living’ chemistry he failed it hard.” Bill cackled, remembering the absolute agony the man had been in at the time, “man that was funny.”

“A PHD in Astrophysics, physics, cryptology and parapsychology but he couldn’t pass the lower division requirements for chemistry?” Dipper shook his head, “no way.”

“Listen, kid cause I’m only gonna say this sappy shit once,” Bill grinned, “ for the record, I think you’re a pretty nice looking meatsack to stare at, which is a huge compliment considering your species is usually pretty ugly looking. You’re funny too, like kid, the faces you make when you see monsters are hilarious. you can also be a sharp-tongued witty bastard Pine Tree. You’re right about the weak thing though.” Bill laughed to himself at Dipper’s frustration. “Failure is really funny to me! You meatsacks act like one failure is going to kill you or whatever, like you’re supposed to be perfect. Kid if you were perfect, you probably wouldn’t be chilling in an Italian restaurant on a date with the super hot dream demon that tried to kill you like five times. But because you kinda failed a couple times along the way boom! You got this unholy piece of ass.” Bill winked.

“Yeah, but school’s my thing Bill. It’s the one thing I don’t really fail at. I can suck at everything that I do but at least I can usually pull a 90 out of my ass on a relatively straightforward exam.” Dipper let out a sharp laugh as he sipped the last bits of water in his cup, “Man, I must sound like a pretentious asshole right now.”

“Oh a massive asshole sapling, you horrible fleshbag who thinks you can’t fail at anything. Aww am I rubbing off on ya kid?” Bill cooed at Dipper, batting his eyelashes as a waiter dropped off a fresh new basket of breadsticks. “Anyways, yes Dipper, you failed an exam. You now have three options. Option A, drop out of school and run away with me to commit inter-dimensional war crimes, Option B, cry yourself to sleep tonight, be miserable and fail the entire class because your so scared of studying for it or Option C, take advantage of the super hot, smart dream demon right in front of you and develop a study plan that's way less shitty than your current caffeine induced cram sessions that your so arrogant to believe will work out, but don’t start that until after you enjoy a super romantic dinner and then dessert at your place.” Bill winked suggestively to Dipper who flushed a bright red, toying with the red gingham tablecloth. “So which one will it be sapling? Come on, don’t keep me waiting here.”

Dipper rolled his eyes, “…Option C.” He groaned, failing miserably at hiding the small tired smile on his face.

Bill’s eyes lit up, “Well I’ll be damned, the second best option. Come on kid, let's shake on it to make it a deal.” He grinned, outstretching his hand toward Dipper.

“You’re an asshole.” Dipper laughed as he playfully swatted away Bill’s hand, before grabbing it and holding it, enjoying the feeling of Bill rubbing his thumb in circles on Dipper’s calloused hand. “But fine, whatever, just this one time I’ll humor you.”

“Love you too sapling.” Bill’s grin softened, “Anyways stop hogging the damn breadsticks, I get your sad but back off!”

Dipper felt a wave of relief wash over him as he laughed for the first time in too long.

[sugarwithsarcasm]

It was in the coldness and darkness of space where Dipper felt most at peace. He didn't have to focus on the constant paranoia that wrecked him in the bright fluorescent light of the ship, the feeling that something was wrong. Out in space it was just him and the quiet tranquility that followed the darkness and the coolness which eased his thoughts. Until one day he meets a bright, warm, eccentric asshole who forces him to face the root of his reservations of the light and bright.

“Stimulating oxygen flow, please hold from opening the hatch.” Ford’s voice grumbled from the speaker installed into the mast of the small boat. Dipper twitched in discomfort at the electric shocks on his neck and on his chest. “Watch those oxygen saturation levels, kid. I’ll activate the light beam in about an hour, that should attract the receptors on your ship and pull you back to us. If you’re in the middle of a big one, activate your microphone and I’ll tell Stanley to tell you to suck it.”

Dipper rolled his eyes, forgetting that Ford couldn’t see him. “I know Grunkle Ford, no hesitating. This isn’t my first time.” He could hear Grunkle Ford chuckle, which annoyed him. Distracting himself from his irritation, Dipper began to adjust the placement of the oars and tightened the safety ropes tied around his waist, connecting him to the boat.

“Initiating anti-gravity adjustment sequence.” The blueprints that Grunkle Stan had forgotten to bring into the observation quarters floated from the floor where it had been lazily left at, while Dipper and the boat only experienced a slight bump before remaining attached to the white linoleum ground.

“Positive Response. Automatic control systems are all clear.” Dipper reported through the microphone attached to the clunky headset that was a pain to remove due to how much his tangled, brown hair would wrap around the thin metal. “Initiating Manual control systems.” Dipper began to fiddle with various switches and buttons lined on the inside of the boat, not entirely focused on what he was doing, but he trusted his experience enough to know that he would be fine. As he tugged on the smooth oars, he felt the boat gently rock forward, creaking as it did. ΅Manual control systems are all clear. Safety systems are up to code, requesting clearance for departure.”

A heavy sigh came from the speaker, “The S.S. Mystery has been cleared for departure, opening hatch now.” The white, metal door slowly slid into the wall, revealing the beautiful vastness of the cosmos. Dipper smiled as he eagerly leaned forward, putting all his strength in using the oars to propel him out of the stuffy, white spacecraft and into the beautiful mystery that he longed so harshly for. “Be careful out there kid.”

Even though Dipper had been showered in protective chemicals prior to entering space and wasn’t technically breathing anything other than the oxygen being pumped to him through the needles in his neck and chest, the (lack of an) atmosphere in space felt a polar opposite than that of the one in the ship. The aircraft was comforting but confining, although he had all the oxygen he needed, he felt like he was suffocating.

The galaxy, however? It was filled to the brim with fresh air. The deep dark pools of darkness, decorated with a splattering of light and colors. Planets and asteroids floating above and below him, each with a unique mysterious topography that he could spend hours analyzing and running through. To be so closely connected to the heavens, to the divine mysterious celestial bodies that carefully watched over him and beckoned for him to explore every secret they held, was an overwhelmingly beautiful concept that was the only thing that kept Dipper from not going mad with the confines of their Spaceship. Grunkle Ford’s ancient texts would write of a terrifying, lifeless, cold, silent space and were a true example of the naivety of mankind back then. Space was as beautiful as it was alive. The gentle ripple of the rare Axolotl swimming through the space matter, the gentle, quick movements of young stars in the space pools and the occasional creature poking its head out with a friendly smile as it skipped past, rushing towards whatever trading center it was headed to.

The serenity of the universe would also occasionally gift Dipper bits of reflections of himself, the twinkle of the stars beneath and above him mapping out thoughts and feelings that would quiet his own anxieties and insecurities, if only temporarily. He may not have been as intelligent as his Grunkle Ford or as feared and respected as his Grunkle Ford but Dipper did have one thing going for him – his obsession with the feeling that something was lost within the stars manifested itself within Dipper as a raw, carnal need to sift through the universe, only feeling his mind at rest when he was doing so. And hey, if he could be useful and find some valuable star fragments and other miscellaneous parts of the universe that the crew could sell for a fortune, then everyone else was mostly fine with his occasional solitary trysts with various galaxy star pools.

Dipper carefully maneuvered himself over a large star nest, rowing out towards the center, staring in awe at the bright glow of stars swimming in the black and silver swirls of the almost oceanic protective layer of dark matter covering him. He felt a small pang of guilt as he lowered his net into the matter, before quickly telling himself how there was an endless supply of stars in the universe, catching and selling a few wouldn’t hurt anyone, it would be meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

A particularly gorgeous star fragment stood out from the rest. It was a small bright white ball of flames, slightly cracked on its top, with a white liquid dripping out of it, feeding the matter around it. Usually, the protocol for seeing a damaged star was to run to a distant galaxy as fast as humanly possible, but groundbreaking research done by his Grunkle Ford had proved that the young stars that were damaged, when in contact with the darkness of space, would slowly heal over time, becoming brighter through the process. Dipper moved closer towards the star to get a better look at the rare interaction, feeling a strange pull towards it, when he felt the boat sharply jerk backwards.

“Woah there kid!” The two-toned voice of a man from behind Dipper caused him to fall backwards onto the boat floor. “Take as many souvenirs as you want but that shiny thing over there is off limits!”

Dipper raised his head slowly, his body shaking along with the boat. As he gripped the side of the boat to hoist himself upwards, he felt a buzzing warmth near his hands and was taken aback at the sight of a pair of clear amber eyes. The man leaned over the edge of Dipper’s boat, his eyes wide with mischief and curiosity, emotions Dipper knew all too well. Only his waist and up was visible to Dipper, the rest somehow completely hidden under the soft blanket of darkness. Heat rose to his cheeks as Dipper couldn’t help from noticing how attractive the mysterious (and possibly dangerous) strange man was. He had wide shoulders and a muscular physique that Dipper was having a bit of trouble not staring at due to the man’s lack of a shirt. His bronze skin was covered in a faint smattering of freckles that was reminiscent of the drawings he had seen of how the distant stars from Grunkle Ford’s home planet looked in their sky, with his almost golden blond hair being the sun. He had bright golden eyes that held the same mischief and mystery as the countless stars that were buzzing around underneath them.

“Who are you?”

“Aw, finally done checking out the view?” The strange man smirked, tilting his head to the side as he eyed an increasingly self-conscious Dipper.

“I-“ Dipper stammered, his face flushing a deep red. The unhinged cackles of the man roughly shook him out of the trance he had momentarily fallen under. The man had an air of chaos surrounding him that had Dipper regretting pushing Ford to the side when he had insisted on him bringing weapons for self-defense.

“No need for the scared expression yet kid! Don’t touch what’s mine and I won’t touch those groggy intestines that you call yours.” The man grinned, flashing a blinding row of white teeth. “Unless you beg for it of course.” He winked.

“What the-?” Dipper’s eyes widened in confusion, his brow furrowed as he tried to understand what was going on, “again, who are you? How are you swimming in dark matter with zero protection? Why are you protecting that star specifically?”

The man grinned once again, but Dipper noticed it was slightly less maniacal and more amused, before dipping his head back in the water and slowly disappearing. Dipper groaned in a bout of frustration. Had he simply been imagining things? Was he truly that lonely?

“Yeesh aren’t you a curious one!” The man’s upper body leaned over the opposite side of Dippers rowboat, the boat tipping ever so slightly. “If anything, I should be interrogating you! What are you doing on this side of the milky way, trying to steal some stars for illegal trade?”

“N-No!”

The man’s head fell back as he let out a maniac cackle, the darkness rippling around him. “Relax kid, I’m not exactly the most law-abiding celestial being out there anyways! I won’t let the Axolotls know some space pirate put his filthy fleshy fingers on a baby star and you don’t touch,” the man pointed down towards the star fragment that Dipper had been eyeing at earlier, “what I called dibs on kid! That one is actually pretty important to me, can’t have you ruining any plans of mine now can I?” The man outstretched his hand, flashing a set of perfectly straight white teeth in a slightly too large smile, “We got a deal? Heck kid, I’ll even let you talk to me, maybe I’ll even answer a few of your dumb questions! All you gotta do is shake-my-hand and obey-my-command!”

“You seem to be doing plenty of talking without any deal.” The man raised an eyebrow, grinning at Dipper as if daring him to turn his deal down and find out what happened. A memory of Grunkle Stan flashed in his mind, one that began with a similar grin and ended with the intestines of one particularly bold alien hanging around the mast of a burning mothership. Dipper let out a deep sigh as he extended his hand out to shake the other man’s, ignoring how his heart skipped a beat when he felt the other man’s firm, rough grip. He had always wished he had always been a bit braver.

“GREAT decision kid, possibly the best of your life!” The man’s grin only widened, making Dipper’s reason for shaking the man’s hand a moot point and suddenly, drowning to his death in dark matter that would freeze his organs didn’t sound too bad. “I am known by a whole hell of a lot of names throughout the universe, most common being ‘god’, ‘the devil’ and ‘king of chaos’. But y’know what kid? You clearly got some spunk; can’t imagine some timid meatsack agreeing to agree to a very vague deal with a stranger without having a bit of moxie. And lucky for you that’s a trait I love to see! I’ll let you call me Bill, last name Cipher, an added detail for your fantasies of me later.” He winked.

Dread began piling higher and higher on Dipper, the realization that he had made a very stupid mistake setting in. “Captain Stan’s going to kill me when he finds out about this.”

“Wait a second, you mean THE CAPTAIN STAN?!” Bill’s eyes lit up with amazement, “The one that massacred an entire force of Axolotl’s by himself, stranded on a remote gaseous planet’s moon?! Yeesh kid, if the rumors the space amphibians say about your boss is true then your ass is dead!”

“Try not to sound too excited.” Dipper mumbled to himself, the maniacal cackle from beside him reminding him of his failures. He turned away from the man and began to rearrange his netting to a different position, away from the star fragment that called out his name, “It’s what I deserve really, for talking to a very arrogant unidentified alien species. How the hell are you just swimming in that stuff anyways? You should be exploding at the amount of toxic chemicals in that stuff. The hell are you, some sort of space siren?”

“Aw, you think the only logical explanation to my attractiveness is that I’m a hot part-starfish? You're so innocent sounding for a pirate, I expected more swords and less poor attempts at sultry. Can’t say I’m not into it though.”

“Answer the question asshole.” Dipper rolled his eyes, the mystique surrounding Bill quickly fading away.

“Space siren, hmm, I like the ring of it kid! Let’s just go with that for now. As for the lack of my organs exploding, why don’t we just chalk it up to biology, we can’t all be as fragile as your species anyways.” Bill grinned, clearly proud of his response before turning his attention toward Dipper. “What about you kid? Got a name? A reason for spending this lovely evening with me over a star nest with a very scary looking net?”

“My name’s Dipper, I work for the Shooting Star and am the only living relative of Captain Stanley, except for his brother I guess.” Dipper fiddled with his hands – was he truly so lonely as to feel comfortable opening up to some conceited asshole?

“Dipppeerrrr” Bill drew out his name in a dramatically long fashion, “Gotta say, I like it kid! Suits you. But I mean, how���d some soft looking thing like you end up on one of the most notoriously violent ships in the multiverse? You don’t have any brothers or sisters or other non swashbuckling relatives?”

“First off I am a very good fighter thank you very much,” Dipper pouted, though based on the sharp cackle from Bill, he didn’t quite believe him, “and um, no. It’s just me really,” Dipper glanced away from Bill, whose expression changed to a strangely quiet one, staring deep into the darkness that surrounded him and the fragments of stars beneath him, far, far apart, ignoring the light beam calling him back to the ship. “It’s always been just me I guess.”

---

He wasn’t alone. There were eyes on him. A pair of bright, happy eyes. Were they his? They sure looked like his. They were probably his. Except they were softer and shone with a happiness and fulfillment that he had never felt before in his life. So they couldn’t have been his. But they looked exactly like his! It didn’t make any sense – it was all just an endless loop of madness, staring into those happy eyes. But then those eyes became confused, and then sad, and then scared, and finally filled with agony. And suddenly it didn’t matter who’s eyes they were. Just that he’d do anything to keep them bright and happy. He’d tear apart the very seams of reality if he had to. All for a pair of eyes.

---

“All I’m saying is that those little freaks legs taste excellent when battered up and deep fried.” Dipper stared down at his net in horror as he tried to drown out Bill’s voice.

“Why torture the poor things? Listen, I don't like the Axolotl force any more than the average intergalactic citizen, but that doesn’t mean they deserve to be harmed so….brutally.”

“Oh well look here I might’ve found the only pacifist pirate in the entire multiverse! Dipper I knew you were special the moment I laid my eyes on you. But yeesh kid, give a guy a break! If not please, allow me to call up your best amphibian friends so you can go party with them.” Bill retorted, rolling his eyes as he helped Dipper untangle his net.

Dipper and Bill had, since their initial meeting, built a strange friendship. The man was brash, chaotic, arrogant yet the same part of Dipper that felt as if something had been ripped from him screamed at him that Bill was, for Axolotl knows what reason, important. It had kept Dipper up all night after he returned back to the ship, and had possessed Dipper to convince Grunkle Stan that there was an abundance of valuables near that particular location so they should probably just stay put for a few more weeks. What surprised him most was that the elder man had believed him. And also that Bill had also appeared to have been waiting for Dipper, instantly easing the two into a conversation on his various illegal escapades and how he fought off the Axolotl force, leading Dipper’s boat along to the star nest they had been at the previous day.

“It’s just a bit much, you know? I don’t know, something about torture makes me uncomfortable, which is kinda weird considering my line of work. Still, people being tortured fills me with a hollow, numb kind of anger y’know? It’s weird.” Dipper found a pressure building up in his forehead, as if someone was pounding on it like a drum.

Bill didn’t answer with some sarcastic quip, surprisingly. Instead, he quietly helped Dipper untangle the star fragments from the net and place them in a special cooler, staring off at that same damaged star that had caught Dipper’s eye the day prior with an uncharacteristically solemn expression.

“Have you ever been tortured, kid?” Bill eventually cut through the quiet humming of the stars around them. “Anyone you’ve been close to been tortured, like some kind of a sister figure?”

Dipper frowned, “Define torture.” He retorted sarcastically, but felt something sour on his tongue. “No, nothing has ever happened to me. Captain Stan has made it his mission to protect me from that kind of stuff, he can be pretty overbearing with it though.”

Bill paused for a moment, softly smiling to himself as he hummed, tracing out stars on the wooden edge of the boat. “That’s good kid. Torture wouldn’t look too good on you.” It wasn’t until Dipper felt warm fingers rub circles in his knuckles that he noticed the sadness in Bill’s smile. For heaven knows what reason, Dipper felt the need to comfort the man, grab his hand back and try to cheer him up. Luckily, the light beam from the ship off in the distance interrupted his foolishness, the mysterious space siren slinking away into the darkness, leaving him with cold hands and a strange emptiness.

---

Light. A blindingly white light. Heat. A violent, burning heat. Dipper thrashed, crying in pain. A white light enveloping him, a red hot heat overwhelming all of his senses. He was too late, the light was too bright and the heat was too strong; it was only his stubbornness, his refusal to die yet, that tugged him back from letting himself be burned in the light. Why was he holding out? Why not just die? It’s not like they’d blame him for his death, if anything they’d have viewed it as inevitable. The light was moving now – oh god it was running straight at him, as if some sort of divine being had fired a cosmic gun and sent a beacon of angry white light shooting straight at him. Why fight it? Why not let his body die before the light hit him and the pain and brightness just got worse? He needed to be alive, he needed to protect them. Dipper let himself be confused. Who were they? Reluctantly, he outstretched his hand, tugging against the heat that chained him in place. Would they reach out their hand? Just the faintest touch he could tell, that’s all his mind needed to remember. He’d protect them just please, would they touch his hand? The heat intensified, as if angered by his audacity, the light speeding up as if it had too been offended by his lack of attention to them in his final moments.

Darkness. A deep, dark, endless pool of darkness only briefly interrupted by the splattering of beautiful, yet always distant and out of reach stars. Chill. A cold, soft hand touching his.

---

Bill laughed as he played with some starfish which were migrating through the star nest. They were various bright colors, bright purples, pinks and blue glowing in the darkness.

Dipper had, at first, tried his best to keep the nerdier side of him that often got teased by the rest of the crew away from Bill.

“Hey starboy! Look at this cool green looking shit I caught! It's a Chroococcidiopsis Cynoasto ! You can tell based on their disgusting looking green sludge, wanna touch the sludge kid? Touch it!” Bill cackled.

It hadn’t been until today that Dipper realized that Bill, although definitely much more eccentric and ‘cool’ about his way of handling it, was just as much of a nerd as he was. He had to admit, the lack of loneliness he felt around the man was beginning to become dangerously exciting.

“Gross Bill, drop it in the cooler.” Dipper scrunched up his nose, leaning away from the man and the flopping fluorescent blob in his hands.

“Fun fact! Evolution from living for eons in space means that they lack any sort of skeletal structure! Instead, they have really strong muscle fibers that connect the body together but can bend at will to any shape that space dictates they mold too! Might wanna write that one up for your old man, and get me some more of those gushy worm things as a gift for basically telling you all the secrets of the universe.” Bill grinned as he plopped a couple of fish down into the cooler.

“You’re nasty.” Dipper rolled his eyes as he tossed out some of the leftover slop the ship’s cook, Lazy Susan made.

Bill quickly munched the food down, Dipper smiling at the man’s childlike behavior. The eagerness, overly excited characteristics of the man reminded him of something. It reminded him of someone. Not any of the crew, he didn’t know them that well. Not his Grunkle Stan, who although lively, was a feared Captain. Not his serious Grunkle Ford. Someone though.

“How’d you get stuck with the worst pirate job ever by the way? Scourging all alone must suck! You’d have probably gone insane with how tedious and uncomfortable it all was if it wasn’t for some hot piece of starfish ass coming to entertain you.” Dipper tried to ignore the heat in his face in response to Bill’s playful suggestive demeanor and instead on the question.

“I like it, the stars feel like home. Plus I like scourging through the universe, finding stuff, collecting stuff. Being alone helps me look for things better anyways, since the rest of the crew are better at maintaining the ship or fighting Axolotl’s they aren’t much use anyways.” Bill lifted the top half of his body out of the dark matter, leaning towards Dipper. “I-I mean you’re good though since you can help me look better I guess uh-”

Bill laughed,“Ah kid you crack me up, you make it too easy. Of course I know I’m a better companion than all those little meaty flesh bags!” He leaned forward, closer to Dipper’s face with a more serious form of curiosity on his face, “But why not just stay all balled up in the cabin and research these things? Why go out and explore the mundane?”

“I’m looking for something.” Dipper replied instantaneously.

He was looking for something? The phrase felt so right when said out loud but so wrong in his mind. What was he looking for? He already had everything that he needed. Well, okay that was a lie. He felt an emptiness in him, a void that he knew needed to be filled before it overcame him and was the death of him one day. But what was it? What was he looking for? Could he even look for something if he didn’t even know who it was? Who? No, he was supposed to think of what it could be, not who it could be. Then why did it feel so right, thinking he was looking for someone?

Oh god he was looking for someone, where were they? Were they still alive? Were they okay? Would they ever forgive him? What was he doing he was wasting time?

“Don’t worry kid,” Bill grinned, beaming brighter than the sun, “I’ll help you find them.”

---

The sun. It was so beautiful, so bright. What would he do without it? It lit up his day, guided him through even the most gruesome of horrors, squeezing his hand and sharing its warmth with him when he felt the cold overwhelm him.

He liked the sun. He liked the heat. That’s why he had ran after her. Into the light. Into the heat.

He didn’t like the darkness. He didn’t like the cold. Why was he there? Where was she?

Patiently, he waited for the light to reach him. It should have reached him by now, she should’ve reached him by now. Maybe she got lost.

He had to find her. What if she was gone? He’d go mad stuck in the darkness for all of eternity. She had to come save him – quickly, too. And he had to save her, some part of him knew that would be a daunting task.

---

“Darkness is just safe to me I guess.” Dipper shrugged off memories of the visions that plagued him and the voices screaming in his head to race towards the nearest light, nearest sun.

“Pretty convenient to hide stuff! Man you do not want to see what I got buried in the red nebula in galaxy 408! Hey, maybe tell you’re old man there's some buried treasure in there, just sharpen your sword skills a bit before.” Bill grinned.

Dipper, despite the sassy way he’d roll his eyes, liked it when Bill grinned, clearly proud of himself for a particularly (un)clever joke. “Hey, my sword fighting skills are great, screw you.” Dipper spat back, “Maybe I will just tell him, give orders for the pillaging and plundering of a colony of space slugs and a bounty for one particularly bitchy half man half space slug asshole.”

“Hey! I thought I was a hot space siren! No take-backsies on compliments!” Bill pouted, swimming over closer to Dipper, “And I’ll have you know that it's a vibrant ecosystem filled with various astro-flora and astro-fauna, just cause your sweaty little ship is filled with just one species of meatsacks, doesn’t mean the rest of the universe exists as little pockets of single species environments.”

“Whatever, my point still stands. I could totally take on some wild patch of starflowers in a swordfight.” Dipper smiled, doing a (purposefully) poor imitation of his sword fighting skills, his arms not wavering until he heard Bill’s warm laughter.

“Ah kid they’d photosynthesize you alive, you're lucky I like you though. I’d cut ‘em down with some real fighting skills.” Bill grinned as he flexed his arms.

Dipper laughed and for a few minutes afterwards the two stayed in silence, basking in the other’s presence, the slight swaying of Dipper’s boat ad the creaking noises of the rope net as it collected more star fragments being the only thing tethering Dipper to the real world and keeping him from floating off to the heavens,

“Bill,” Dipper said smoothly, enjoying how the other man’s name felt when spoken and the almost adoring tone he’d unintentionally say it in, “..where do you come from? Who even are you?”

Bill flashed Dipper a smile before resting his arms on the side of the boat, leaning his chin on his two clasped hands. “Finally! I was wondering how eccentric and mysterious I was going to have to be before I got you intrigued! I have to admit, you’ve got a pretty high tolerance for crazy.”

Dipper let out a light laugh, “That’s just the life of a pirate I guess.”

“Well, the least pirate-like pirate in the multiverse but we’re talking about me right now so that’s an argument for another day.” Dipper made an offended noise. “Yeah, yeah, deal with it starboy. Now back to me! It all started 100 billion to the power of another billion years ago. A young triangle is born, he kind of fucks some shit up, but it ends up giving him unlimited power so who cares. blah blah blah most powerful thing in the universe blah blah blah gets high one day and scams some random white dude for thirty years blah blah blah grand nephew and niece almost trick him blah blah blah they do some dumb thing when he was taking a cosmic nap and suddenly the forest is on fire aaaahhhh! Then he was like, ‘wait I don’t have to be here I’m god’ and was all, y’know what sounds nice? Becoming a half starfish and slinking around in some random space pool, flirting with whatever hot pirate passes his way.”

Dipper blinked, giving Bill a look of confusion. “…what?”

“Basically I’m on break right now kid.”

“… what?”

Bill slammed his head on his hands and let out an exaggerated sigh, “What, what kid? I think I did a pretty damn good job of explaining things, it's not my fault your species doesn’t have the brain functioning skills to understand complex explanations.”

Dipper scowled at him, but chose not to verbally acknowledge Bill’s arrogance.“I have a few questions. One, when did you stop being a triangle and somehow shapeshift into a completely different species, two what’s a forest, three-”

Bill let out a sharp laugh, “What’s a forest? Kid I- The hell ? I guessed from looking at you that you probably aren’t the outdoorsy type but what’s a forest ? Are you not human? Have you never stepped foot on any multi-terrestrial planet?”

Dipper let out an indignant noise of displeasure, “Excuse you asshole, I’ll have you know I’m as human as you are a total douche, jerk.”

“A forest-” Bill wheezed, tears forming at his eyes, “Is like a big patch of trees, pine trees for the one I was referring to specifically. It should be pretty much growing back now, a bunch of saplings. I’ll go check up on it later.” Bill laughed, gesturing with one hand to the now almost nearly fixed bright star fragment, the same one that had caught Dipper’s eye the day he had first met Bill.

“Is that really it?” Dipper asked. “Why go through the trouble of saving the star and protecting it? Nothing lasts forever, even the brightest suns eventually die.”

The joy and playfulness on his face slowly drained itself from Bill, leaving Dipper regretting ever asking. Just before Dipper was about to apologize for asking, Bill responded, “Some dumb idiot on there is important to me, sapling. I’d wait for the rest of eternity for some glorified bunch of photons to piece itself back together again if I had to for just a chance for things to go back to normal again.”

Bill looked up at Dipper briefly, before looking down at the floor of the boat with a soft, sad smile, the light redness dusting the man’s face not going unseen by Dipper. He felt his heart twist ever so slightly at the realization that Bill had clearly given his heart to someone else, his own growing feelings that had been gently burning him, going unrequited. Dipper shook his head, he had time on the ship to feel bad for himself, his friend was sad, the most he could do was comfort him. Yes comfort his friend, Dipper thought as he gently stroked the man’s blonde hair, cursing the rubber gloves on his hand, anything to comfort his friend, and to quietly admire the way his eyes widened initially before softening, looking up at him with care and an almost domestic smile that almost tricked Dipper into thinking he was his.

“Sapling,” Bill breathed, “look, a shooting star” Bill grinned, pointing toward the west.

A beam of light quickly flashed across the sky, tainting the normally black parts of the sky with a white streak. Dipper felt something possess himself upon seeing the star fly across the sky, something that made him immediately gasp, crying out,“It’s her.”

---

“You requested my presence Captain Stan?” Dipper asked hesitantly, bowing his head ever so slightly before the most feared man in the multiverse, his Grunkle Stan.

“Eh, don’t be so uptight kid, I’m proud of you! You’ve caught us so many damn stars in such a short amount of time, we’ll be able to buy enough rum for the next thirty light years.” Captain Stan laughed, his laugh more scratchy and less inviting than Bill’s.

“Your progress in star scourging has been very impressive. Fantastic work my boy!” Captain Stan’s first mate, his Grunkle Ford, affectionately patted him on the back.

“It’s not really my work, there’s just a goldmine of stars. I’ve just gotten lucky, really. The availability of stars seems to be never ending.” Dipper smiled.

“Don’t be so modest! Anyways, I’m glad you’ve really found your rhythm at this spot, we’re marking it for later, but tomorrow I’m going to need you to clean up your tracts – apparently that little child captain brat keeps trying to burn down my associates loot! I’ve been dreaming of ripping that rat’s brain apart and can’t wait any longer!”

Dipper’s heart dropped to his stomach. They were leaving. He’d probably never see Bill again after tomorrow. He’d lose Bill forever. He’d go back to just complete darkness, only interrupted by faint stars too far away to touch. He couldn’t just….just leave. Leave when, when he was so damn close to finding the void within him, to finding the light inside of him once again.

“Am I understood?” Captain Stan asked, raising an eyebrow at Dipper’s silence.

Dipper felt bile rise in his throat, “Yes Captain.”

---

Despite what he had told himself the night prior, Dipper couldn’t help but let sobs overtake him as he saw Bill appear for the last time.

“Sapling? What the hell– are you hurt? Did something happen, cause I swear I’ll-” Bill’s voice became dark as he grinded his teeth, rushing over to the side of Dipper’s boat.

“This is goodbye Bill.” Dipper croaked out after calming himself down, giving Bill a half-hearted smile.

“The hell are you talking about kid? Did your dumbass drop a cannon on your head or something? I’m not going anywhere kid, we made a deal.”

Dipper let out a bitter laugh, “But I am. Captain’s orders. I’m leaving for a different corner of the universe tomorrow, with the rest of the ship.”

Bill’s eyes widened, before flashing a violent red. “Hell no you aren’t! Not when you’re so damn close Dipper I swear! Of course Fez and Sixer would screw shit up again, ugh they’re always ruining my plans, those two.”

“Fez? Sixer?” Dipper tilted his head.

“Nevermind them kid. C’mon kid please . It’s all ready, I’ve fixed everything up for you, Mabel is safe and sound, hell, even Sixer and Fez are kicking my physical ass as we speak. I just need you to wake up . Please Dipper please, wake up. You’re so close, Pine Tree, my sweet little sapling, I’ve done everything I can, why won’t you just come home?!” Bill begged, his nails gripping into the rubber suit so hard Dipper was fearing it would rip.

“What do you mean? I…I am awake, I don't, I don’t know…” Dipper felt his head pound, yelling for him to stop lying.

In the distance, a light beam flashed from the ship, beckoning him to return.

“Hell, no, I- fuck. Kid don’t look at them, you’ll die if you go back listen just come with me okay? Come with me please kid, please. I can’t lose you again dammit!” Bill pleaded with Dipper, shaking as he clasped onto Dipper’s hands, his eyes and voice laced with desperation.

Bill was warm. Bill reminded him of the sun. Bill was full of light. The ship was darkness. Space was cold. Bill was warm.

Mabel was warm.

Dipper’s puffy red rimmed eyes widened in realization. He desperately leaned closer towards Bill who was beginning to slink into the darkness of the water, his mouth moving with urgency yet the sound not reaching Dipper.

Captain Stan looked on in the distance with a solemn expression, as yet another pirate fell victim to the dirty hands of a siren and let themselves be drowned, before, along with the rest of the crew, finally being put to rest.

---

Mabel. Mabel. Mabel. Mabel, who had always been the one to warn him before he’d go off to explore the forest. Mabel, who had been the first he told when he had first found the space pool – a special lake that had glowing crystals that looked like stars and a dark black liquid to thick to be water. Mabel, who had been the first person he had given a star fragment too. Mabel, who had worn that crystal star fragment that according to Bill and Grunkle Ford, would protect her from dark, demonic magic. Mabel, who Axolotl’s rage had reached first, who resisted burning and instead had turned to a white light, flying off into the night sky.

Dipper didn’t know at the time. Thank god he didn’t, if he had then he didn’t think he would’ve survived the intense agony and torture the Axolotl put him through, angry that Bill had outwitted him and seeing the boy as a powerful pawn. He would’ve most certainly succumbed to death had it not been his wish for protecting Mabel who he believed was in grave danger.

That being said, he didn’t remember falling asleep. He didn’t remember if it was a trick Axolotl had played on Bill or if it was a last ditch effort to preserve Dipper’s soul from the destruction of his home galaxy by banishing him to the dream world.

What he did remember was the scent of Pine Trees, The green of the forest and the autumn chill. The smell of pancakes that had too much sugar in it. And the warmth of Mabel’s hugs and the light in her smile.

“DIPPER!!” Mabel threw himself on top of Dipper the second he walked in the kitchen, both of them falling to the kitchen tile with a thud. “I was so scared you were gone forever, Bill- he made it sound like you were really stuck.” Mabel sobbed into his shoulder, shaking. Dipper sobbed into her warm fuzzy sweater, unable to say anything, and hugged her even tighter. “Oh Dipper, I love you okay? It’s alright we’re all together now – well, Grunkle Stan and Ford are at the market right now but you get the point. It’s good, we’re safe now. I’m safe now. You’re safe now.”

“Mabel I love you,” Dipper choked out, burying his head further into her shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey don’t apologize you dork, that evil space frog messed with your brain, it’s not your fault I know. I was never mad in the first place.” Dipper pulled away from her shoulder and almost nearly became unconsolable again at the sight of her bright smile. “Oh wait!” She covered her mouth with her hands, “Bill! He’s upstairs, asleep! He told me to go wake him up when you're safe, but I think he’d rather it be you waking him up,” Mabel winked, “man I’ve never seen that demon so freaked out. You really scared all of us Dipper.”

“You should’ve seen how much of a nervous wreck I was when I lost you, even though I didn’t remember you. Weird stuff.” They both laughed, before hugging each other tightly one last time.

Dipper ran up the stairs, the same wooden steps and floors. The same old wallpaper in the halls. His and Bill’s same door on the end of the hallway on the right. The same creaky noise made when the door swung open. The same frantic mess the room was always in, with miscellaneous papers on the floors and pinned to the wall. The same blue sheets in a perpetual state of chaos and disorder.

The same soft, peaceful expression Bill made as he slept. The same warmth of his skin. The same way his eyelids fluttered open when woken lazily, stretching his limbs in an exaggerated manner. The same soft glow in his eyes as he slowly readjusted to the world.

“Bill.” Dipper whispered.

“Dipper,” Bill replied, stubbornly shutting his eyes again. “Wait,” His eyes fluttered open filled with relief, “Pine Tree”

Dipper ungracefully flopped on top of the man, who immediately wrapped his hands around his waist and flipped him under him.

Dipper wasn’t sure who was the first to kiss the other, he supposed it didn’t matter. All that mattered was Bill’s hand running through his tangled hair and the other on his jaw. And how roughly and desperately Bill was kissing him, biting his lip and dragging his tongue across his lip, deepening the kiss so quickly that Dipper thought he would drown in the other man, and would honestly not resist. Dipper had been the one to break the kiss, his head hurting from tears that had been shed earlier. Bill immediately began to kiss the rest of his face. First his birthmark, then the side of his eye, then his cheek, then a trail going from his jaw to the collar of his shirt. He kissed him with such sloppiness and incoordination that Dipper knew that it would have him laughing later, but now? It was nothing short of saccharine.

“Bill” Dipper laughed as he gently tugged on his hair, “It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.”

Bill laughed, planting a soft chaste kiss on Dipper’s lips, “Hell no you’re not, never pull that shit again. I swear I was going crazy.”

“Mhm” Dipper kissed the top of Bill’s head, relishing in the familiar burnt caramel scent of his lover. “Hey, I do have some questions though. How long was I out? How long did it take you to find me?”

Bill flopped down beside Dipper and wrapped his hands around the others waist, bringing Dipper’s head to his chest. “6 very long and dramatic months. Mm, as much as I love you sapling, I kind of had to prioritize sewing your dimension back together and you’ve seen me do arts and crafts kid man did I screw fixing up this place like a MIllION TIMES. Took me three months to finally have everything strung together. Mabel was easy to find, but you..yeesh kid. You really crafted every little detail, I could’ve sworn you were hiding from me in that dreamscape of yours. By the time I found you, you were half faded away! I nearly lost you,” Bill tightened his grip on Dipper, “but somehow I didn’t. Still don’t really understand what snapped you back in place at the last second, but who cares?”

Dipper buried himself deeper into Bill’s chest. “Who cares.” He repeated.

“Listen kid, I don’t really…know exactly how you got saved in the end. Just, listen when I tell you I was panicking when I began to lose you, I’m making a massive understatement. You’re what’s keeping me sane right now sapling, the universe is fucked if something ever happens to you. And I solemnly swear I’ll do whatever I need to do to keep you safe and make sure nothing like whatever the hell just happened happens again. Y’know, I always used to think the flesh bags who would summon me, desperate to just give me anything just to save their loved ones were stupid but you’ve shown me their fears. I love you Dipper, for the rest of eternity. I loved you before I met you and felt something was missing. And now that I have you I don’t think I can ever lose you again. You could do anything and I’ll still love you, ask me anything and I’d do it without hesitating. I’ve given you the power to destroy me kid and it’s scary cause you almost did.” Bill whispered in Dipper’s ear, kissing just above it as he finished.

“I love you too Bill, you asshole.” Dipper laughed, tears flowing down his face. Bill laughed at him and kissed him once again on the top of his head. They laid there for a few minutes, admiring how beautiful the other looked as the sunlight shone on their features, and the warmth of the other’s figure pressed against their own.

After all, for Dipper at least, the light and warmth of another person was wonderful, much preferred over the cold darkness of solitude, wasn’t it?

[sugarwithsarcasm]

Introduction

Hi!!! I'm Mina/Mimi (She/Her) and I like to write fanfic as a hobby. Some of my main ships I are BillDip, GerIta, Narumitsu, Lumity and SidLink but I do like to occasionally try out new ships/fandoms and write things fics about family dynamics (like Dadrius and Hunter), x Reader fics and more!! Asks are always open for ideas and little dribbles, though I don't write NSFW. Let's have some fun! :3