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[sundaymomma-ing]

Loss Still

If we’re friends in real life maybe you saw the baking I’ve done this week in my Facebook story. If you did, it’s possible that you’d assume things are great and that I’m busy doing allofthethings to the very best of my ability and maybe you’d feel like you should be doing more and I do not want you to feel that way. Truth of it is I’ve started my days shocked awake before 3 AM, certain that the…

[sundaymomma-ing]

The fog was heavy this morning. I went out early to feel the weight of it. It lay in the pasture and on every blade of grass. It seemed to be holding the land in place. I felt God’s presence all around me. I stood in it, quietly. Feeling solid and strong in His care. The mornings don’t often feel this way for me, but I’m working toward a closer relationship with God and on seeking Him more.…

[sundaymomma-ing]

Fences

Over the past few weeks I built some fences. Yep, Me. All by myself (well, the children helped a little and my sweet husband figured out how to make a 70×50 garden a square instead of some wonky rhombus). I feel very thankful for the ability and determination God has given me. I also feel effing achy and sore because that’s a lot of posts to drive and holes to dig and…it’s just a lot, okay? It…

[sundaymomma-ing]

God's Healing Grace

God’s Healing Grace

I feel like the devil might be attacking me. Can I write that sentence? Will my people think I am crazy? I’m worried that most of you will think just that, but after yesterday, I feel the attacks getting stronger and I’m unsure what else it could be. I’ve heard it before, that the devil doesn’t worry about you when you’re not doing kindom work. He doesn’t throw all he has at you if you’re not on…

[sundaymomma-ing]

Rest: A Refrain

I’ve read a lot of words discussing God’s silence in our lives. I’ve sat in the darkness and wondered over why He wouldn’t answer me, why He isn’t present or visible in any number of seasons. I’ll be honest, I’ve felt the accute loss of not hearing His voice. I’ve asked a lot of questions of God over the years and I have cried out my “why God??” moments in the darkness. A number of years ago I…

[sundaymomma-ing]

A Writing Ramble

I went back and read something I had written recently. I was sort of dumbstruck by how it was all laid out and tied together and perfect for where I’m at right now…sometimes I am amazed that God has given me the ability to string sentences together. I will occasionally reread something and forget that I wrote it. I mean, I know that I’m not changing anyone’s life, save my own, with these thoughts…

[sundaymomma-ing]

Recently

Last I mentioned, things were hard out here. I was so sure that this move was the right thing for our family and that God would use it to help ease a few of the struggles we were having as a family. In a way I was right, He has had His hand in this placement, I so easily forget that God bringing about what is good is not always smooth or easy or pleasant for me. Often these changes are hard.…

[sundaymomma-ing]

Grief 2019

Grief. It’s individual to each one of us, yet it is a shared emotion. We try to walk the path it leads us down with strength I suppose. Never really knowing what will be waiting around the next bend, what will knock us back on our ass or who might help us up. I am no expert on grief, but I have walked in it’s darkness. I have fallen back and prayed for someone to come along to help me take even…

[sundaymomma-ing]

Provision

I had thought I would chronicle our move and the early days in our new home. I planned to scratch out all of the excitement and adventure of getting out of town, into the country. I had good intentions to share with my people this new path we are on…but life, man. In late October we decided that we really did want to move out of town. There was just so much. Dogs barking, sirens wailing, the…

[sundaymomma-ing]

A Quiet, End-of-Day Ramble

The words come slower as the world spins fast. Even as I work and plan to not be overwhelmed by all that Advent has to offer, even in this season where so much has been taken from us, somehow even now…I find myself breathing deep to slow the minutes from rushing by. Consciously choosing to slow down and just do this next thing with grace and love. It is not easy for me. Well, I am not fast, I…

[sundaymomma-ing]

I used to sit here each morning scratching out thoughts on a page. Not looking for acceptance, but seeking to hear my own soul more clearly. I haven’t come to this place in quite some time, not that I don’t still have questions to wonder aloud over. Rather, the being simply still was too much amidst the global pandemic and fear mongering. I had thought that the writing was good for me, enabled me…

[sundaymomma-ing]

Most of you thought I'd disappeared

Most of you thought I’d disappeared

Let’s be honest please. Most of you didn’t even realize that I was gone. I like to pretend that I told each of you that I was turning it off, shutting down my world to fewer than seven people. Or I did pretend that. It’s got to a point that it doesn’t matter anymore how few people have checked in or touched base. I’m at peace with this small world I’m occupying.

It is hard to be the one who…

[sundaymomma-ing]

Late Digging

I dug in the dirt on November 28th, 2020. That makes this a good year in my book. Yep, that’s really all it takes for me to see the good. Warm days late in November where the soil is not yet a block if ice, where I can peek under the fallen leaves and still find green herbs. I moved some raspberry plants and dug some peony roots in anticipation, took down some chicken wire fence to be used again…

[sundaymomma-ing]

The Third of the Series

Last night my teensy asked her daddy for the big box in the garage. She’s been waiting for it for quite awhile, but this was the day of his “yes”. She was ready. She had a plan. She was making a boat.

I was emotional and feeling very weighed down as I tried to turn leftover rice and veggies into something my people would eat without complaint. You know part of it; the govenor in my state just…

[sundaymomma-ing]

Second in the Series of Feelings

Climbing days are simply better than book-school days. We kinda forgot this close to us place was here, but now have been back and forth to enjoy it several times in the last couple weeks of hanging on fall. I’ve trusted in the benefits of risky play for my kids for a lot of years now, but sometimes my breath still catches as they climb, the shout to be cautious falling silent just as it is about…

[sundaymomma-ing]

A Series of Feelings This may be the last mudpie...and not only for this season. A second Summer in November and an injured ankle gave me the pause and grace to notice this moment for what it is.

[sundaymomma-ing]

A Sunrise of Sorts

A Sunrise of Sorts

Lake Superior was kind enough to remind me this morning. We’ve been vacationing for nearly two weeks now, every morning my children have allowed later and later sleeping. It has been so wonderful. Even though I’ve still been up in the night with the teensy I have felt much more rested. Probably more so than I’ve been in years.

But I needed the sunrise.

Even though I get a very small piece…