#& as ‚ cordelia goode.

[parlapina]

I love middle age gays

[pxmlx]

“Fucking idiots” I mutter to myself while reading (for the millionth time) about two dumbasses clearly in love with each other CONVINCED that their feelings are one sided

[almondcroissantsandink]

Lovers come and lovers go / Lovers fight and sing fortissimo

[rosiexweil]

To the writers out there who makes x oc fanfics please stop putting them in the “character x reader” or the “character x y/n” tags

Thank you 🫶🏻

[jelonkan]

When they are heads of schools...

I feel very attacked in my sensitive spots...

[thepunkmuppet]

↳ cordelia chase + comfy / casual

[tatelangdonsweater]

Happy 10 years to one of the most iconic AHS seasons

[stayevildarling]

wait?!?! you‘re considering writing for wandanat??😩 omg!! can you please write them with reader x cordelia goode!! maybe something angsty where reader gets hurt on a mission or something and tries to play it down

Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff x Cordelia Goode x Reader- One too many secrets

A/N: I have honestly been captured by marvel and wandanat. I couldn't help writing for them but I wanted to keep some of my ,,normal'' writing in there so I added Cordelia. This is my first time obviously writing Natasha and Wanda so I have no clue whether this is accurate or makes a lot of sense. Let me know what you think though as I quite enjoyed this 🫶🏻

tags/warnings: female reader, established relationship, quad polyamorous relationship, mention of violence, mention of gunshot, mention of blood, cursing, angst, fluff

translation: detka= baby, malishka= baby girl , zlatko= sweetheart

word count: 4.5k

taglist: (if you want to be added just sent me an ask/dm or comment)

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay , @whitelotus00 , @ninaahs , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @paulsonsratched , @stepintomyworld , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometime , @ohrwurm26 , @wastdstime

Todays mission had started out like any other mission, a quick briefing first, Tony talking you through most of the details and that you and the others had got this. Gathering your things before walking towards one of the quinjets and getting going. The last time you had both seen Wanda and Cordelia was two days ago now, travelling back and forth to the avengers compound and getting some training and exercise in, as well as greeting and chatting to some old friends.

They hated it, well Wanda only really did when she wasn't able to come along, however she had been stuck on another mission for the past few days and pretty much only got back when the two of you had to leave. Cordelia hated it altogether, she had met the avengers briefly and the three of you tried to be as open and communicative as possible, knowing the blonde wouldn't be able to cope with her crippling anxiety and worry otherwise. So, you had taken her to the compound a few times, getting to meet Tony and some of the others there. And despite the man even offering her to join them all, she refused, too busy with her own responsibilities of leading Miss Robichaux's Academy as their headmistress but also their supreme.

Cordelia was also your supreme, teaching you the basics years ago when you were dropped at the academy and didn't understand your powers and why no one wanted you. Somehow you stumbled upon the avengers, Wanda first before meeting everyone else and somehow getting caught in between it all. This was for sure never the life you had imagined, thinking you would grow old in the academy alongside Cordelia. However, a certain ginger and redhead somehow didn't only sweep you off your feet but equally the blonde sunshine that had been in your life for years. And so, the four of you slowly and with a few ups and downs along the way, built your life together, both away from the avengers compound and the academy, enjoying a more quiet and private space, rather than constantly being around people. Natasha's flying skills allowed her to easily move between places and Cordelia and Wanda's magic, as well as yours allowed the three of you to get wherever you wanted quickly.

As the quinjet prepares for landing, you glance at Natasha, who sits in the cockpit with Clint and you can't help but the small smile escaping you as you see her in her element. She loved this and you knew she did, however she especially enjoyed when her detka came along on missions. She had seen Wanda's magic on missions of course and her eyes always widened in that exact same way, disbelief, admiration and the slight shock. However your magic was different, so much lighter and beautiful and she enjoyed whenever she got to watch you or the supreme. It took a while to get you to where you are, Natasha training you to be her own little assassin and teaching you everything she had ever known and learned over the span of her life. She wanted to make sure you could protect yourself, hating the thought of anything ever happening to you and her not teaching you properly beforehand.

Your two girlfriends were utterly different. Sometimes when missions allowed it, the three of you would join in together. Wanda always fussed over you, often checking in with her magic to feel you close by when she couldn't see you. Not necessarily liking the thought of you doing all of these big adult things before Natasha had talked her out of those concern. Natasha let you do your own thing, trusting your abilities, magic and what she had taught you enough. However, her green eyes always lingered nearby, making sure someone wasn't getting a little too close to you, that the avengers didn't push you too much and didn't expect too much of you. She thought of you as a privilege to have around and help out and she made sure to treat you like that.

,,Ready Malishka?'' you hear her whisper as she brushes past, turning to smile at you before she follows the others. ,,Ready'' you assure with a smile, slightly taken back by her outfit and how badass she looked, especially with the flaming red hair, her smell lingering as she walks past and reminding you of home.

It really was supposed to be a quick in and out, Clint, Natasha and some others clearing the way for you, getting rid of some guards lingering nearby before getting to the big guys. Once inside, it was your job to finish the interrogation part, assuming they wouldn't talk and the avengers relying on you to use your Telepathy, read their minds and making them spill all the secrets, they would surely die for to protect. And it almost seemed a little too easy, as the three of you, including some backup cleared the way and eventually had the guys exactly where you wanted them. Bucky and Natasha tying them to some chairs before asking their questions, you eventually joining in and making them spill all their secrets. You had gotten what you wanted, Natasha filling in Tony who stayed behind, content with what you had gathered.

Yet, somehow you had missed something. Maybe it was due to the fact that you thought danger was averted, maybe you had been too taken back by your girlfriend and how both badass and beautiful she was or maybe it was the thought of relief and thinking you could return to your other two girlfriends waiting at home after finishing your mission reports once returned. It must have either been the cameras or the guys somehow alerting backup and almost as the four of you made it back, more guards appeared in front of you, heavily armed and ready to fight. Natasha was the first to notice, quickly tackling the first two running around the corner, Clint shooting some of his arrows, making some more fly across the floor. And you equally used your magic, making the new wave of them fly across the hallway and knocking them unconscious, Natasha watching and smirking in adoration.

As Natasha winks at you, she watches as your face turns serious, the three of them expecting danger to be averted as it had been deadly silent. However, your magic was quick to alert you that you had missed something, sending an all too familiar shiver down your spine and the feeling of doom that was nearby. You were no supreme, and usually this was a power that only Cordelia and Wanda managed to use. ,,Incoming'' you quickly alert them, their faces growing serious with concern. As you look around you, trying to find the obvious sign of what was going on, you glance around only to find another flood of them coming basically out of nowhere. ,,Fucking hell'' Natasha curses before the four of you get back into action, fighting to get out of there as really your mission was done and successful. Again you use your magic to send most of them shooting across the hallway and into the nearest wall.

However as you glance at Natasha, you watch her surrounded by some big guys, and despite the Russian definitely not needing your assistance, you can't help the overwhelming feeling of wanting to keep her safe. In a swift motion, you send half of them flying across the floor, quickly teleporting near her. ,,Nice one'' she praises as she chuckles. The room fills with the sound of more grunting and gunshots as the last wave of guards attempt to stop you from exiting with all the informations you had gathered. It doesn't take too long before the four of you manage to send them to the floor as well. Caught in the heat of it all, you had missed the excruciating pain you felt on your back, swallowing the lump in your throat and ignoring the obvious signs of pain and shock your body was alerting you of.

,,Detka, you okay?'' Natasha reassures as you exit the building and make your way towards the quinjet. ,,All good'' you smile, before she buckles you into your seat and begins taking you all back home. You should have said something, the pain increasing by the minute and causing your vision to blur slightly as you feel the throbbing pain in your shoulder. You had always been a little stubborn, not wanting to show weakness in front of them as especially your girlfriends lifes so far had been filled with nothing but pain and grief. And you never wanted to add to it, always making sure to help them out in whatever way you could, whether it was helping Nat with training, Cordelia with the academy or Wanda with things she was doing around the house.

Before your eyes feel heavier by the minute, you manage to linger your hand over the source of the pain, your magic slowly easing it a little before you allow your eyes to close. Your healing magic for sure was nothing compared to Wanda or Delia's and so the only thing it managed to do is ease the pain, lulling you to sleep a little, however the bullet remaining inside your shoulder, as well as blood dripping slowly down the inside of your clothing. It doesn't take long before you make it back, the quinjet allowing you to travel through the sky in no time before making it back to headquarters. As Natasha gets ready to follow the others, her eyes land on your sleeping form, still strapped into your seat and she can't help but frown, knowing how tiring and exhausting missions could be. ,,Detka, wake up'' she tries softly, nudging your shoulder moments later in an attempt to wake you.

As the pain shoots through your body again, your eyes widen, your mouth slightly agape but quickly composing yourself as you see the concerned green eyes from your girlfriend in front of you. She had noticed of course, ever the perceptive one, how your face was much paler, eyes filled with pain and the slight wincing when she had woken you moments ago. ,,Are you okay?'' she tries again, before you quickly nod, unbuckling your seatbelt and quick on your feet. Despite the dizzy spell, you take your girlfriends hand and lead her outside, following the others as you wanted nothing more than to get home. The redhead knew you to be stubborn, even secretive at times and she could tell something was up, assuming that maybe you indeed were simply tired and worn out after today, unbeknownst of the wound and the blood that continued dripping down the inside of your uniform.

The meeting following after, as well as the mission report feel like an eternity and you can't help but seek the comfort of your girlfriend. Mid meeting you had subconsciously reached for her hand underneath the table and she squeezed it tight, you not usually the affectionate type, especially when it was outside of your home and sacred, safe walls. After another hour, Natasha is quick to guide the two of you outside and back home, noticing how with each minute passing you seem more tired and practically falling asleep on her shoulder. She couldn't help but admire how comfortable you seem, resting your head on her and how her presence noticeably made you feel safe. She had taken a mental note to get either Wanda or Cordelia to check on you after this mission, making sure that you didn't get hurt, whether that was physically or something bothering you else wise.

,,Malishka, we're home'' the voice of your girlfriend softly awakens you, your eyes quickly falling shut again as the pain continued to pierce through you and almost take your breath away.

,,Come on sleepyhead'' she tries again, chuckling a little before you follow her inside, your heart beating a little faster as you think about getting to see your girlfriends in a moment.

As soon as the two of you step inside, the air is filled with both Cordelia and Wanda's cooking. You can't help but smile, assuming that Delia had cooked dinner and Wanda probably baked something, the two of them enjoying greeting you like that after a long mission. ,,Hi there'' Cordelia beams, greeting Natasha with a kiss on the cheek, before opening her arms to you. ,,Hi sweetheart'' Cordelia coos, as you practically fall into her arms, the exhausting heavy on your features and tired body. ,,There are my two favourite girls'' Wanda chuckles softly upon laying eyes on you both.

,,How did it go?'' Wanda asks curiously, not really having been able to think about much other than the two of you and the mission, despite Cordelia trying to distract her. ,,All good, our detka kicked ass'' Natasha chuckles, causing Wanda to smirk a little and Cordelia to smile proudly.

The supreme could tell there was something bothering you, her senses and the love she feels for you, instantly alerting her of something. However she wasn't quite sure what but the way you had held onto her for a second longer than your usual greeting hug, the way your eyes looked a little different and missed the usual sparkle and just your overall form. ,,Are you two hungry?'' Wanda tries, watching as Natasha is quick to toss her jacket away, having already showered at the compound but you insisting on showering at home. ,,Shower first please'' you manage to mumble out, before the three of them share a knowing glance. ,,Of course sweetheart'' Cordelia softly assures before you walk towards the bedroom. ,,Need any help zlatko?'' Wanda tries but you simply shake your head, thankfully declining her offer.

As soon as the shower is to be heard, Wanda and Cordelia simultaneously glance at Natasha, who stands by the kitchen counter, already stuffing some of the cookies that Wanda had made into her mouth. ,,What?'' she shrugs, her two girlfriends not being able to hide the smirk at her adorable antics. ,,How did that mission go Nat? really?'' Wanda tries, her and the blonde sharing the same concern over you. ,,It was good'' Natasha begins speaking, trying to swallow the cookies before getting scolded for speaking with her mouth full. ,,Y/N was great- as always'' she reassures before she meets their concerned glances. ,,I think she's tired, she fell asleep pretty much as we headed back and she's been a bit clingy since'' the redhead announces, before taking another mouthful of cookies and Wanda raises an eyebrow in return.

A set of green eyes meet Cordelia's brown ones, Wanda sharing the concern over you and knowing it had always been important to you to keep this professional, especially when around the others. Meanwhile you had somehow managed to get inside the shower, washing most of the blood and dirt away from the day, despite the soaring pain that was hard to ignore by now. It took you a while to wash yourself, really only having one arm available to do so. Before you know it, you find yourself half dressed, in front of the bathroom mirror, on your tip toes, trying hard to get a good look on your wound and trying to determine what you needed to do in order to heal it with your magic abilities. However as you try to turn a little, another wave of dizziness washes over you, causing you to stumble forwards and grip towards the sink, causing the several shampoo, conditioner and soap bottles to fall to the ground with an alarming noise.

,,Sweetheart, are you alright?'' you hear the voice of your blonde girlfriend moments later, internally cursing yourself for being so stupid and knowing they would be furious if they found out like this now. ,,Darling?'' Wanda tries next, and despite wanting nothing more than to answer, to reassure that you are fine and make the worry very evident in their voices, go away, you couldn't. The dizziness held a tight grip around you, making it impossible to open your eyes, the bright light only adding to your state. The pain causing the lump in your throat to get bigger, tears beginning to spill almost if your eyes had been open. It takes mere seconds before the door bursts open and you are unsure in your state whether you had locked it to begin with, unsure whether Natasha had simply kicked in the door, or whether your other two girlfriends had used their magic to open the door.

,,Y/N'' Cordelia calls out, watching your frame as you grip harder around the sink, Wanda's eyes immediately landing on your shoulder and seeing the blood and wound. They are quick to rush over, Wanda also calling for Natasha and the redhead quick to equally jolt towards the bathroom. ,,What happened?'' the redhead speaks with concern, before her eyes lay upon you. ,,Dammit detka'' she curses, finally understanding what had happened and why you had been so quiet. ,,Alright, sweetheart, let's sit you down'' Cordelia tries softly, despite the panic very evident in her voice and features. Wanda and Natasha are quick to get you to sit down, careful of your injury. ,,Looks like it's still in there'' the redhead remarks, having seen her fair share of gunshots in her line of work. ,,You can fix this right?'' she asks, her voice betraying the hint of worry as the color continues draining from your face.

Wanda and Cordelia's gazes meet, certain they can fix this but determining how. Their magics worked quite differently and while it would take healing potions and swamp mud for Cordelia to fix it, it pretty much only takes a flick of Wanda's wrist to fix your injury and so she is quick to light her hands in a red color before the blood and bullet slowly fade, making the wound disappear altogether. Cordelia watches in awe, Natasha watching in relief as your shoulder is back to normal due to Wanda's magical abilities. ,,Darling, are you alright?'' the scarlet witch questions softly, noticing your face still a little pale and face scrunched up in pain. In reality, you felt more guilty than anything, knowing they would be upset with you now, the pain still lingering on your shoulder due to the impact and how long it had been there. ,,Fine, thank you'' you manage to mumble, before Cordelia is quick to help you on your feet and finish getting you dressed.

As the supreme leads you back towards the bedroom, offering you some rest after the shock from today, you can already hear your other girlfriends voices raising from the room next door. ,,Nat, calm down'' Wanda tries softly, noticing how the redhead was visibly upset, pacing back and forth the living room, her fists clenched. ,,No- she should have talked to me for gods sake''. Cordelia frowns watching your guilty eyes and the tears threatening to spill any moment, despite the fatigue and sleepiness very visible in your features and tired eyes. ,,You get some rest darling and we'll be right here'' the supreme reassures, tugging you in a little and pressing a soft, comforting kiss on your forehead.

,,Enough'' the blonde scolds as she makes her way back towards the living room. Natasha simply rolls her eyes, Wanda's concerned eyes following the redhead as she continues pacing. ,,She could have jeopardised the whole mission'' the redhead sighs before she continues speaking ,,If one of us gets hurt, we tell the other one'' she sighs now, the anger slowly subsiding from her features before it turns into hurt, her eyes glistening with tears. ,,Hey hey'' Wanda tries, moving towards her girlfriend before taking her shaky hands into her steady ones. ,,Our little one certainly is good at keeping secrets'' Wanda begins, Cordelia nodding in agreement. ,,But I'm sure she just wanted to keep everyone safe'' Wanda tries reasoning with her girlfriends, despite feeling furious herself, given what could have happened.

,,I didn't see it, I thought she was tired'' Natasha sighs again, almost mumbling the words as a tear falls down her cheek. ,,Honey-'' Cordelia coos, quick to wipe the tear from her girlfriends features. ,,Like Wands here said, she's stubborn but you couldn't have known'' they reassure, slowly coaxing the avenger out of her shell and state. ,,I'm sure you must be hungry darling'' the blonde tries softly, before some guilty puppy eyes meet her brown ones. ,,Come on'' Wanda chuckles, taking Natasha's hand and leading her towards the dining room.

By the time you finally awaken from your slumber, your eyes eventually closing as dark shades of orange and red flooded your bedroom from the sunset, it's now replaced by a darkness. The only light source, a little lamp in the corner of your bedroom. When you turn a little, you notice both the absence of your girlfriends but also of the pain. Wanda's magic really did wonders to your state, as you can move freely without the slightest pain, despite a headache lingering. Slowly, you move the blanket from your tired body, despite feeling sleepy, wanting to be close to your girls and knowing you owed them an apology. As you walk past the dresser, you reach for a cardigan, feeling a little chilly and instantly noticing how it must be Wanda's as her scent and perfume lingers around you, instantly making you feel calm and at home.

As you step through the hallway, glancing at the countless artwork on the walls, as well as the photo wall that Wanda had added a while ago, both dorky selfies and official photos from either of you at events, you smile a little, recalling each day as if it had been yesterday. Your sleep didn't last too long, as by the time your eyes meet them, the three of them are still sitting by the dining table, having finished their meals not too long ago. With a smile, you watch Wanda bringing over the tray of cookies, Cordelia already getting a head start on the dishes. ,,Hi detka'' Wanda greets you softly as she notices you hovering by the doorframe.

,,Hi'' you mumble, the guilt very evident in your voice as your eyes fall upon both Cordelia and Wanda, still avoiding Natasha's gaze as you knew she was furious with you. ,,Are you hungry baby girl?'' the witch questions, causing you to simply nod a little shily before Cordelia reaches for your plate that she had kept warm for you. Hesitantly, you sit beside your girlfriend, Wanda joining the blonde with doing the dishes, knowing you and the redhead could use some quiet to talk this through, knowing you both to be stubborn. You gaze is dropped onto your plate, as you take slow and hesitant bites, despite feeling like starving, suddenly feeling like not eating under Natasha's gaze, the guilt consuming you and nagging at your insides. ,,Detka?'' she tries softly, seeing the genuine remorse in your eyes and feeling bad for her earlier outburst after the two had managed to calm her down.

,,Yeah?'' you whisper softly, your eyes already filling with tears. ,,Can you look at me?'' she tries, hating to see you like this and not having you meet her gaze. As soon as your eyes land upon the redhead, your vision fills with tears and she is quick to move her chair back, allowing you access to settle on her lap. ,,Come here'' she ushers and you comply, quickly getting comfortable on her lap, before holding onto her, as her strong arms wrap around yours. ,,It's okay malishka'' she reassures as she notices you sniffling in her embrace. ,,I'm sorry'' you choke on a sob, pathetically holding onto the hem of her shirt as your guilty eyes meet hers, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with todays events, despite usually being able to stay strong for your girlfriends. However, the thought of upsetting, displeasing your partners killed you inside as all you ever wanted was to make them happy, proud and content.

,,Why didn't you tell me?'' she asks softly after your cries eventually quieten down, listening to her steady heartbeat. Her tone is soft, the question sounding more curious and concerned than stern or angry and you could tell. ,,I just hate letting anyone down'' you sigh, not necessarily knowing how to put your feelings into words. ,,Detka, you didn't let anyone down, you made sure we got out of there'' she reassures, recalling your badass actions. A moment of silent follows, Cordelia and Wanda watching the exchange and a sad smile forming on their lips, seeing you two so closely, despite your pain. ,,What is it, really?'' she tries again, knowing you long enough by now to know that this wasn't the whole truth.

As you glance around, you watch as Cordelia gives you an encouraging smile, still cleaning the kitchen but obviously following the exchange between you two. ,,I just never want to burden you three'' you finally sigh, some more tears streaming from your features. Natasha's eyebrows furrow in confusion, not understanding your statement, considering the four of you had always been so loyal, so honest with each other. And you pick it up, her hesitation, the confusion washing over her face. And you knew if you had told the same to Wanda or your Delia they would have understood, knowing what it feels like to be a burden due to their past. But Natasha was tougher, fierce, being able to work out her demons on her own and having worked through her past mostly on herself.

,,I-'' you hesitate but feel Natasha's hand reaching for yours and squeezing it in a reassuring manner. ,,The three of you have been through enough and I thought I could fix it on my own'' you admit and you watch as her face almost crumbles, finally understanding your actions. And Natasha hated your statement, she hated how you put them first, their pain and grief and past before your own. She wanted to simply hold you and never let you go, tell you that they and she always want to know, always want to take care of you and never having you hide these things. ,,Detka'' she begins, taking a deep breath and hooking her finger underneath your chin so you can look into her green eyes.

,,Detka, you mean the world to us and we never want you to hide from us, we want to be there for you, just like you are always there for us three'' she reassures, watching your eyes and wanting to make sure you understand her statement. ,,Besides darling, you are a witch, not some super soldier'' she chuckles a little ,,Did you really think you could fix this without us noticing'' and your guilty puppy eyes meet her own yet again. ,,I'm just glad you're okay'' she reassures before holding you a little tighter and you finally manage to relax in her touch.

It doesn't take long, before Wanda and Cordelia join the two of you again, the supreme giving you a reassuring and proud smile for opening up, knowing it wasn't your strong suit. Wanda doing the same towards Natasha, glad the redhead had managed to calm down and talk this through with their detka. ,,Can I have a cookie now?'' you frown, before Cordelia and Wanda chuckle passing you the tray. ,,You didn't even touch your dinner darling'' Cordelia scolds softly, raising an eyebrow. ,,I'm an avenger, I can have dessert before dinner'' you protest, the three of them chuckling before Natasha presses a kiss to your forehead while still holding you in her arms. ,,Are you now?'' Wanda chuckles, finding your antics and the sight in front of her adorable. ,,Our badass avenger'' Natasha confirms, glancing at her other two lovers with a proud and satisfied smirk.

[classydior]

American Horror Story : COVEN!

[iamnotoriginalphil]

Not Jealous (Cordelia Goode x f!Reader)

Synopsis: Clearly Cordelia does not feel the same way you feel about her.

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: jealousy, assumptions of unrequited love

You knew there was no reason to be jealous. Of course not. Cordelia wasn’t yours. It didn’t matter how you felt about her. There was no point denying your feelings for the Supreme, but that wasn’t the same as having them reciprocated. So you had no right to feel the churning of jealousy in your gut.

Until…

You looked up from the book you were reading, zeroing in on the two woman standing just outside the door. Cordelia’s hand was resting on Misty’s arm, leaning towards her as they talked softly. Your fingers clenched on your book. Taking a deep breath in, you paused, counting to ten in your head before letting it go again.

There was no reason to be jealous.

Misty said something, too quiet for you to hear. Cordelia tipped her head back, her laughter ringing through the room. You stilled, watching her, your eyes slipping over her body, taking in the long column of her neck, the shine of her hair, the curve of her lips. That was your laugh, the one you received when you amused her.

You inhaled sharply, closing your book and slipping out of the room. You couldn’t watch anymore. You couldn’t

There was no reason to be jealous.

Yeah right. Ever since Misty had come back it was like you had to fight for Cordelia’s attention. She’d stopped noticing you. Where once she sought your company, you’d been replaced. She didn’t have time for you. The shared smiles had stop, transferred to another. She’d stopped having time for you, all taken up by the returning witch. You noticed all the ways you were being pushed out, replaced without so much as a word.

What you didn’t notice was the way her eyes followed you out of the room.

You found a quiet spot in the garden to curl up with your book, doing your best to slip back into the words. It was hard, the image of the woman you’d stupidly fallen for as she fell for another kept playing on repeat in your head.

Every touch, every smile, every glance. You’d seen it over and over again. She was slipping further from you with every breath, every brush of fingers over arms, every cupped cheek. The distance was growing and you didn’t know how to stop it. You didn’t even know if it was worth trying.

Clouds were gathering overhead, blotting out the sun. You shivered as the air turned chilly, curling up further on the bench you were sitting on. You tipped your head back, leaving the pretence of reading behind. Closing your eyes, you basked in the memory of how it had been.

You missed the touch of her skin against yours, the way her eyes sparkled whenever you spoke to her, the soft laugh in the middle of the night when she caught you still up reading. You wanted her soft sigh as she directed you to bed, a hand on the small of your back, making sure you climbed into bed and turned the light off. You missed the way she’d pass you a cup of tea in the morning, knowing glint in her eye, fingers brushing against the back of your hand.

A cold drop of rain landed on your forehead. You sighed, picking up your book as another drop fell. You tipped your head back for one last moment, letting the water fall over you, sprinkling on your skin. Shivering, you took a deep breath in, trying to let the rain wash away the jealousy and the pain and the hurt.

It didn’t work.

Wandering back into the house, you didn’t care at the way the rain began to fall harder, only aiming to shield the book. You shivered, uncaring of the puddle of water you were tracking inside. You left the book on the table, stroking over the still dry cover, before leaving it behind. You trailed water through the house as you trudged up to your room.

Sitting in the bath with your arms curled around your knees, you watched the steam curl in the air. On a long exhalation you shaped it into hearts before they broke apart in a shattered kaleidoscope of painful shards. You don’t know how long you sat there, trying to warm the chill that had settled deep in your bones. Maybe you needed something more than a hot bath.

On bare feet, you padded into your room only to freeze as the door closed behind you.

“There you are,” Cordelia said, her voice soft enough to make you groan.

You didn’t know what to say. It had been a while since you’d seen her there, in your room, looking as if she belonged. You pressed your lips together, backing up until your spine was pressed against the door. In nothing but your robe, you felt exposed, vulnerable, like you’d left your armour behind.

“I was worried you’d melted in the rain,” she said, giving you a half small.

“No,” you said, “just having a bath.”

“You were drenched out there,” She took a step towards you, her hands clasped in front of her body, “you left something behind.”

Your book, the one you’d left in the kitchen as you’d rushed upstairs, was clutched in her hand. You opened your mouth to say something, then closed it again. The thought of her noticing you enough to know you’d been out in the rain sent an ache through your chest. She took another step towards you, holding the book out to you. You shook your head, pressing harder against the door.

“What’s wrong?” She seemed to wilt under your gaze.

“Nothing,” you said, voice so small you were surprised it still existed, “thank you for returning the book but I think I’m done with it.”

“You’ve read it?” she asked.

You shook your head. A love story wasn’t really what you were looking for. If you really wanted that you just had to watch Cordelia with Misty. Which only made you want to throw up.

“Darling, talk to me,” she said, taking one more step towards you.

“I’m just tired,” you said, not able to meet her eyes, “maybe you should go.”

Fingers tilted your chin up and you had to hold back tears. The touch of her skin against yours was what you’d been yearning for, wishing for, praying for. You tried to pull back but she held on, her grip tightening to keep you from moving away. You wanted it but not like this.

“If you really want me to go, I will,” she said, “but I’d rather stay and talk to you.”

“I’m sure you have other people you can talk to.” You hadn’t meant to sound so bitter about it.

Something in her face shifted. You held your breath, not wanting her to see the real reason, the embarrassment of it more than you’d be able to handle. She let you go, turning to walk to the bed, placing the book down on the bedside table. You could feel yourself trembling, still pressed against the door.

“You’ve been distant lately,” she said, fingertips running over your comforter.

“I…” You didn’t have a proper answer for her.

“I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve done something wrong. If I have I wish you’d tell me. I don’t like the thought of upsetting you,” she said. The way she looked at you with barely contained regret was not an expression you ever wanted to see on her face.

“You haven’t,” you said.

“Then why have you been avoiding me?”

That wide eyed stare swimming in sadness was not one that made you feel any better. Your heart clenched and you would have done anything to make her feel better.

But the accusation was ridiculous. You hadn’t been avoiding her. She’d been spending all her time with Misty, choosing someone else’s presence over yours. You’d thought… Well, what you’d thought wasn’t important anymore.

“I haven’t,” you said, “you’ve just been busy.”

“I’m never too busy for you,” she said, voice so soft it could break you in half.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. Just because she believed it didn’t mean it was true. Hands cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look at her and all those old feelings came swooping back in. Your heart skipped a beat and it didn’t matter that resentment had been building in your chest for weeks now. You’d always fall at her feet, even if she didn’t love you the way you loved her.

“Please. I’ve missed you,” she said.

You bit down on your lower lip, trying to keep all of the ugly thoughts inside. Her eyes flicked down to it, a thumb gently pulling it free. Your breath stuttered and you had no idea how to function with her so close, touching you in ways you could only dream of.

“Darling…” she breathed.

“I know how you feel about Misty,” you blurted out before it could go any further than it already had.

She blinked, drawing back far enough for you to be able to breath properly again. Her hands were still on your face but the look she was giving you was baffled, as if your words hadn’t made sense.

“What?” she asked.

“I know you’re in love with her,” you said, “so you probably shouldn’t be touching me like this.”

“You think I’m in love with Misty? Our Misty?” She sounded so confused.

“I don’t think. I know you are. I’ve seen you with her and I’m not an idiot. It’s obvious,” you said, wondering if you should be pushing her away as she wasn’t moving on her own.

“I’m not in love with Misty,” she said with a small shake of her head.

“You don’t have to lie to me just to spare my feelings,” you said, “seriously, it’s fine.”

“And while that’s good to know, it’s not a lie. She’s not who I’m in love with,” she said.

Your mouth slammed shut as words failed you. She moved forward again, her palms practically burning the skin of your face. You didn’t know what to do, frozen beneath her hands and her gaze, heart thundering loud in your ears.

“Darling?” she prompted.

“So you are in love with someone?” you asked.

You didn’t know whether to feel sick or hopeful. Maybe sick from being so hopeful.

“I am,” she confirmed, “but it’s not Misty.”

“Who is it?” Your voice didn’t feel your own.

“I thought it was obvious,” she said.

“It’s not,” you replied, shaking your head.

“It’s you, my darling girl,” she said, “you’re the one I’m in love with.”

You didn’t have words. She was smiling at you, the soft one that always made your stomach somersault and your heart flutter. You swallowed past a lump in your throat, not quite able to believe the words she was saying. All your hopes hung on her and it scared you.

“I am?” you asked.

“Of course you are.” Her fingers pushed your hair behind your ear, lingering on your jaw, “you’re the one I want.”

You were hesitant as you brought your hands to her waist. She was so warm under your skin, so soft. Her head dipped, breath ghosting over your lips.

“I want you,” she murmured, lips brushing yours, “only you.”

You kissed her, surging up, pressing yourself to her. You couldn’t stop yourself, needing her with every fibre of your being. She pushed you against the door, pinning you to it, her tongue slipping into your mouth. The taste of her had you moaning, head turning fuzzy.

Her fingers pushed into your hair, tilting your head up as she kissed you deeper. You whimpered, arms curling around her body, holding her against you. She mumbled your name into your mouth, slowing the kiss down, taking her time to explore. You melted under her touch.

“My sweet girl,” she murmured, “my darling girl.”

Her nose brushed against yours, skimming the length of your jaw, lips ghosting over your skin. You were practically vibrating under her, strung so tight, wanting every part of her.

“I’m hoping this means you return my feelings,” she said.

“Yes,” you gasped, “yes, so much. Oh god, so much, Delia.”

“That’s a relief,” she chuckled, drawing back far enough to be able to look at you. Her thumb traced over your bottom lip, smile deepening when you pressed a kiss to it, “so there’s no reason to be jealous.”

“I wasn’t jealous,” you muttered.

“Darling.” She threaded her fingers through yours, tugging you away from the door, “you left every room both Misty and I were in. You sat as far away from me as you could. You stopped showing up for our late night tea.”

“I thought you had someone else you’d prefer to be with,” you said.

“You were jealous,” she said.

“I… was jealous,” you admitted.

Her hands cupped your cheeks, pulling you in for another kiss, shorter than you would have liked. You whined when she drew back, her chuckle making your cheeks heat.

“You have nothing to be jealous of,” she told you.

“It just looked like… I mean you were always with her,” you tried to explain, “and you touched her like you touch me. You didn’t have time for me anymore.”

“I’m sorry for making you feel that way, darling,” she said, pulling you closer until she could wrap you in her arms, “I always have time for you. It was never my intention to make you feel like I didn’t.”

“Are you saying you’ll make it up to me?” you asked, muffled against her shoulder.

“And what might you want, my darling girl?” You could hear the amusement in her voice.

Your lips found her neck and her breathy laugh had heat curling in your stomach. She was gentle as she pushed you back, a flush high on her cheeks and bright eyes looking down on you. You pouted but with her hands on your shoulders she kept you back.

“There’ll be plenty of time for that,” she said, “but dinner will be soon and I’d rather not be interrupted.”

“But-“

She placed her finger over your lips, silencing you more effectively than you could have thought possible. Her smile softened and she stepped closer again, encasing you in a cocoon of her warmth and the scent of her perfume.

“Later, darling. You get dressed. I’ll see you downstairs,” she said.

You nodded. She let you go, stepping around you. She turned at your door, hand on the handle, eyes scanning over you again. You looked back at her, warmth flooding through your veins.

“Oh, and I love you,” she said.

“I love you too,” you whispered.

She gave you a radiant smile and slipped from your room, leaving you alone once again. You stared at the door for a moment, not able to believe your luck.

As it turned out, there really was no reason to be jealous.

[john-ts-sh-ai]

♫ ♫ ♫

[bloomfish]

It's so weird that in angel s5e2 they do a little flashback to Spike's blaze of glory moment in the last episode of Buffy... but they leave out Buffy saying "I love you". It's such a blatant omission, the ONLY omission from that scene, that it feels totally deliberate and kind of dishonest. Considering a lot of the Spike and Angel moments in S5 revolve around their jealousy and rivalry towards each other, and a LOT of that is to do with Buffy like... Why would you leave it out? It's a pretty big moment for Spike's character in general.

As far as I recall they don't even mention it, they just mention the fact that Spike and Buffy have had a lot of sex compared to bangel's ONE disastrous time (that they remember) but it does kind of cheapen it for Spike. A big motivation for him not leaving LA could have been him not wanting to hold Buffy to her words, since he clearly doesn't believe that she loves him (even though she does, as per Whedon). He presumably thinks she only said that to make him feel better in his final moments, because she wouldn't have to actually follow through on her words. Which is sad. But it makes much more sense as a motivation than the weird 'it cheapens my moment of glory' excuse like since when does spike give a shit about that

[breeze-blocks]

[lilyflowerhere]

Teachers, am I right?

[call-me-rucy]

Small Vorkosigang

(I have probably messed up someone's uniform's colours but shhhhh)

[sudomanic]

babe wake up new falsettos production just dropped