#/ im so sorry for the eternal wait omfg \

[distortsverity]

@gogogobarry​ whispered : "Um, Hika...I think I lost you! Hello? Can you hear me? Can anyone hear me? Where did everyone go...go...go..." Barry's brave front is breaking, his voice echoing bizarrely in this nightmarish realm, nervous tones twisted by the hellish ambiance. The blond walks, floats just ahead of Hikari, yet he seems completely unaware of her presence. Suddenly, he whirls abruptly to stare daggers at his friend with eyes of glazed hazel (as if just noticing her), and the angry, warped voice that hisses from between clenched teeth is not his own. "You. Your fault. Why did you leave me here? Why did you leave me behind?!" Despite his accusatory tone, Barry doesn't move after snarling his queries, as if frozen in place with an unnatural scowl fixed on his lips. Why? Because none of this is real--it's just another one of Hikari's nightmares, courtesy of the Distortion World. And--thank Arceus--it's almost time to wake up.

                      "Um, Hika...I think I lost you!“

❝ C’mon Barry, I’m literally standing right here! ❞ Lost her? Lost his eyes and ears, more like it.

Besides . . . where exactly is “ here ”? And how did they end up “ here ”?

There are so many telltale signs of a world that isn’t quite right --- how both teens move across sheer black nothingness, how this alien space distorts the boy’s tone and pitch into something half-recognizable at best, how the atmosphere feels dreadfully sterile, how insidious vibrations ripple around Hikari’s body with every stride she takes --- yet there are no blaring sirens in her head to jolt her awake. She never realizes she is dreaming, never even pauses to gauge her surroundings.

After all, she’s too busy running, straining to catch up to him. Her legs are getting tired. Barry’s getting anxious --- frightened, even. 

                      “Hello? Can you hear me? Can anyone hear me?“ 

❝ Yes I can hear you, I’m right here!! ❞ 

Why is he always just a couple arm’s lengths in front of her?

Has he always been this fast? She’s running and she’s pretty sure he is not so why can’t she overtake him? 

                      “Where did everyone go...go...go...”

❝ OH FOR ARCEUS’S SAKE, ❞ Hikari snaps with a scream, ❝ BEHIND YOU, IDIOT!!! JUST TURN AROUND!!! TURN --- ❞ 

And turn he does, as if on command, taking her aback ( surprise quickly morphs into fear great uneasiness, for his face --- that condemning glare --- is not the face she’d grown so fond of after more than a decade of knowing him ).  

How odd. He never looked at her like that. Where’s Barry’s brand of zestful joy? Shouldn’t he be happy to see her? Wasn’t he scared just now, frantically calling out --- 

                      "You. Your fault.” 

. . . . . . What? 

❝ . . . What? Barry, what in the hell are you --- ❞ 

                      “Why did you leave me here? Why did you leave me behind?!"

If he were just about anyone else, Hikari would already be scrambling to defend herself. Hah, she’d probably even send herself into a swiftly-climbing rage in the process ( oh the nerves it must take to attack her out of goddamn nowhere ). 

But he is Barry. She knows for a fact that Barry wouldn’t glare such sharp daggers at anyone --- not like this, not without solid justification. Although his accusations are terribly vague and curt, Hikari foolishly reads into them, perceives meanings where there ought to be none, pronounces herself guilty for crimes the real Barry never confronted her about until now.

. . . So whatever she’s done, she did end up leaving her lifelong best friend behind. How dare she. 

❝ I . . . . . . I’m sorry, Barry. ❞ If only she’d stopped there and let him go ( who knows why she thought it was a good idea to continue ). 

The first apology slips out a feeble whisper, but with each iteration, her voice crescendos until she is borderline shouting at him ( shut your mouth, Hikari! saying it over and over again means nothing, proves nothing, changes nothing so can’t you accept there’s no returning to “ Before ”? ).

❝ I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry please forgive me you know I didn’t mean to --- !!! ❞ Didn’t mean to leave him behind ( not your fault, it is the Heavens’ Will ). Didn’t mean to soar past the clouds and into the stars while he was still earthbound ( millions want and need you up there, embrace it ). Didn’t mean to accept a pedestal that’d prompt a hasty metamorphosis, a kind of withdrawal, closing parts of herself off from even those who’d known her for a lifetime ( that is for the best, you are not just a girl anymore ). On and on and on she rambles and pleads in a woeful attempt to salvage their friendship, but in its futility, all it accomplishes is to humiliate and degrade --- ❝ I’ll make it up to you just tell me how I can make it up I won’t leave you again I promise --- ❞ Poor Barry. He must be tuning her out at this point ( as he should ). Pay no mind to this overly emotional display, lest you succumb to fatal second-hand embarrassment.

Hikari moves her hands to conceal her face, as much of it as physically possible, childishly praying that if she can’t see him he can’t see her. No use. He isn’t moving away, he’s still glaring at her like she had stabbed him in the back and she still feels the full brunt of a hatred that she never ever thought would be crushing her of all people. To her dismay, the first drops of water start trailing down her cheeks. One after the other after the other, they build into a cascade she can’t screw her eyes tight enough to stop ( oh for Arceus’s sake why is there a flood, who turned on the waterworks, where has the dam gone, how were so few words capable of ruining her composure? ). 

Don’t look at her, oh please don’t look at her when her dignity has scattered with the ( nonexistent ) winds! Cast those damning eyes elsewhere, they’re burning her alive! ❛ Hold strong! ❜ her mind demands of the rest of her body. ❛ Hold strong! ❜ . . . yet in defiance, her knees choose to give out from beneath her ( she is sent falling falling falling to the cold dead invisible earth ).

Those hateful, hazel eyes follow. Nowhere to run.

Stupid pathetic child, why do you demean yourself by groveling on your knees? Why do you avert that stone-hearted gaze by turning your face to the emptiness below? Why do you grieve so violently that your sobs wrack your body and reduce every sentence you try stringing together into incoherent blubbering? Shame shame shame on you. Get a grip! Stand back up! Look your old friend right in the eyes and bid him a solemn farewell!

Because where you’re headed, there should not be a single person whose support and company are a necessity.

. . .  . . .  . . . 

She ultimately accomplishes none of that --- doesn’t even begin to try --- because she stays right where she is, doubled over on the ground, hands muffling her cries, writhing in agony like some accursed disgrace ( a meek, final ❝ I’m sorry ❞, but this one is not so much for Barry as it is for some unseen, unknown audience ).

. . . 

All is growing deathly still. If she wasn’t so deep in mourning, she’d realize just how reminiscent it is of an unearthly domain. 

. . .  

. . . Thank Arceus, it’s almost time to wake up. 

She fails to notice how her former BFF’s neither made a peep nor budged a millimeter this entire time. She fails to notice that the scowl he wears is half his own and half that of □ □ □ □ □ ( this nightmare, this place wouldn’t be complete without □ □ □ □ □ , and coming from □ □ □ □ □ , those claims of “ leaving me behind ” are suddenly very true ). She fails to notice when Barry’s figure begins to dissipate into the blackness that engulfs them both, as though he is being steadily consumed, piece by piece, head to toe --- 

And when he leaves, so too does Hikari. 

. . .  . . .  . . . 

Reality is kind in how it welcomes her back. 

Her eyes flutter open to the picturesque scene of a winter night, familiar and comforting like home. Gentle snowfall. The sprawling, starry canvas of the Milky Way. Twisting, snow-laden branches overhead that bend under the mounting weight. So beautiful, so quiet, so serene --- but for perhaps the first time in her life, she finds little solace in the Sinnohan winter environment.  Her distress follows her here, lingering even long after the nightmare’s end ( through her body trembling with heart-aching repentance for a betrayal she had only imagined, through her hands reaching up and clawing deep into her hair in a frankly baffling effort to either recompose or punish herself ). A strange sight it must be, the breakdown of the unbreakable. She knows that too. She hates it so much.

❝ What’s WRONG WITH ME!! WHY WHY WHY WHYWHYWHYWHY --- !!! ❞

There’s the unexpected click and flashing white light of a Pokeball opening by itself, then another, and another, and another --- until her entire team is wide-awake and surrounding her on all sides. She’s barely registered the sheer panic and concern on their faces when she is suddenly enveloped by a Togekiss’s wings, her cries now melting into his chest feathers rather than ringing out across the otherwise silent landscape. 

Had to go ruin their nights too, huh? Get a hold of yourself. 

There, in the safety and comfort of Bubosca’s hug, the world stops, spacetime freezes, and Hikari, Savior of Sinnoh, is just a girl again.

[hqrbinger]

"𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒".

summary; fluffvember day 1: playful kisses ! pairings; xiao, scaramouche, hu tao x reader (no pronouns used) warnings; no beta, fluff, blatant xiao favoritism /hj, not proofread im lazy notes; uhhhhh xiao's got like twice as long as the rest HAJHSD IM SORRY the prompt was j too cute omfg anyway AHHH THIS EVENT IS FUCKING SO CUTE IM IN LOVE ??? i am SO happy i got to participate in this one omfg thank you for hosting quill! u are amazing mwuah mwuah ily <33 @starglitterz | fluffvember ! song; toothpaste kisses- the maccabees

⊹𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎.

quiet mornings with xiao were always a blessing. your boyfriend didn't always sleep, in fact, he almost never did, electing to lay by your side and hold you through the night instead.

however, on nights that he did end up getting in a night's rest without being woken by nightmares, you would have the pleasure of waking up to his positively peaceful face. his brows freed from his eternal scowl, golden eyes closed gently, pink lips just barely parted, breathing in soft and serene breaths.

you loved seeing him so calm like this, sleeping safe and sound and far from danger. but, you knew he would be irritated if he were to sleep in too late.

"xiao," you whispered, leaning up on your elbow, reaching down to cup his cheek with your hand. "good morning, my love."

his long eyelashes fluttered as he stirred awake, groggy, honeyed gaze meeting yours as he woke up slowly.

"good morning," he rasped, leaning slightly into your hold.

"sleep well?" you ask softly, gently rubbing his cheek with your thumb, eyes never leaving his.

"i guess," he murmurs, looking away. you lean down to kiss him, pulling away with a slight grin.

"well, all that matters is that you're awake and you're rested! now i can kiss you without disturbing that peaceful, pretty face of yours."

his cheeks flush a deep red at your words, a scowl and an averted gaze telling you all you needed to know.

without warning, you grabbed his cheeks and began peppering his face with feather-soft kisses. eyes, eyebrows, forehead, nose, cheeks- none of his features were safe from your loving assault. you finished with a longer press to his lips, pulling away with a little pop.

xiao blinked up at you, blushing profusely, both hands holding your wrists against his face. you thought he was going to chastise you for your excessive affection so early in the morning, but in just the blink of an eye and the gentle brush of anemo against your skin, the roles were reversed.

xiao's hands cradled your face perfectly, deep, amber eyes staring straight through yours as he hovered over you.

"my turn."

⊹𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄.

"move, i'm working," scaramouche grumbled, back stiffening at your new presence behind him.

"aw, c'mon scara," you whined, hands mindlessly rubbing his shoulders. "spend some time with me!"

he ignored you this time, feather pen scratching along the paper as if he hadn't heard you at all. your fingers stilled against his back, a pout forming across your lips. his writing paused at your lack of contact in disappointment, but it was so brief you barely even noticed.

you waited a few moments before allowing your hands to creep back over his shoulders, running up and down his arms, planting little kisses all over his back. he tensed beneath your hold, still trying to ignore you as best he could, but as you kissed your way up to the base of his neck, his resolve was slowly breaking. once your chaste pecks made their way all the way to just below his ear, he stood up, whirling on his heel and grabbing your face.

"alright, fine. you win," he glared at you, but his tone betrayed his affection.

you beamed, leaning in to press three quick kisses against your lover's lips, the fourth lingering for just a moment longer. "i knew you'd come around."

⊹𝐇𝐔 𝐓𝐀𝐎.

hu tao's fingers were mindlessly fiddling with yours as you both relaxed in the shade of a sandbearer tree. it was a gorgeous afternoon, the sun hung low in the sky, reflecting of the gentle ripples of the pond in front of you, just warm enough that you didn't require a coat. little containers of snacks were littered across the blanket, remnants of the picnic you and your girlfriend had earlier that day.

she sighed suddenly, breaking the silence, turning over on her side so she was facing you. "pumpkin?"

you turned over, meeting hu tao's pretty eyes. "yes, flower?"

she reached up to your cheek, thumb brushing against your cheekbone lovingly before planting a sweet kiss against your lips.

"i. love. you. so. much," she punctuated each word with a peck against your mouth, smiling sweetly at your flustered reaction. "that's all."

you blinked up at her, at a loss for words as she settled back down beside you, resuming her fascination with the fingers on your right hand.

a smile worked its way across your lips as you layed back down, snuggling closer into hu tao's side and giving a quick kiss to her shoulder.

© hqrbinger. all writing and works belong to me and me only, do not repost, translate, or copy any of my works under any circumstances.

[laurieelaurel]

How he shows he cares

Mammon edition!

Warnings: Fluff & kinda long bad writing at the bottom? omfg im so sorry it was written in like 30 different sittings

Gn Mc x Mammon

Mammon is such a simp for you as much as he tries to hide it

Kind of reminds me of a cat

Tries very hard to pretend to not care but the second you start getting even the slightest bit upset at him, he's suddenly tripping over himself to apologize

Jealousy! Jealous of everything and everyone that takes up any of the time that HE should be spending with you

But unfortunately for Mammon, it's impossible for him to show off your closeness to the entire devildom by being at your side at all times

Like the second he has decided that you are the one, his pettiness and possessiveness go into overdrive

Frequents your room often which means lots of his belongings end up in your room eventually

It started off small with things he left on accident, like a charger, earbuds, maybe his glasses?

But eventually your room becomes his room as well and bam now his toothbrush and nail polish have a spot at your sink, one of your chairs is basically reserved for him now and your couch is suddenly free real estate for him to crash on

It's okay though, since anything of his that enters your room is yours now too (whether he likes it or not)

One time, he accidentally left his jacket in your room and spent the entire morning freaking out, only for you to casually stroll by with it draped over your shoulders

Complained at first but then realized the glares the brothers were shooting him at lunch because the jacket you're wearing was clearly his

"Accidentally" leaves behind a lot more clothes now

Won't admit it but he tries his hardest to make you smell like him because A. it lets any other demons know that this human is off! limits! and B. he likes to mark what's his

Will rub his head against you when he's tired (literally a cat smh)

Treasures anything you might gift him for all eternity because the more of you he can have the better!

Most of these "gifts" are stolen stationaries from school

Might have at one point or another stolen things with a lot more value from you, but quickly learned that seeing you upset would never be worth any quick cash

It's hard to see past his obvious flaws but you gotta remember that Mammon is still the second oldest of the 7 demon lords of hell. He's also an attractive model

I think it's safe to say that he can turn his charm on when he needs to and yet, he turns into a bumbling mess around you

Despite his idiocy, he's trying his best

“Whaddya lookin’ at?” Leave it to Mammon to notice your gaze being on anything other than him for 2 seconds. “Huh? Oh it’s just a doll,” you pointed out the little sheep plushie behind the display, a little embarrassed he caught you staring at a stuffed animal of all things. “What’s so special bout it?” he leaned in for a better look “it’s just a doll!” you stifled a laugh “Well it kinda reminds me of you,”

At that he straightened up, putting his hand to his chin in dramatic fashion. “Well in that case, it makes sense ya couldn’t help but feel drawn to it! It clearly reminded you of my greatness!” You rolled your eyes playfully as you tug at his sleeve before intertwining your hands. “C’mon, Oh great Mammon, we have to get back in time for dinner!” “W-wait, yer not gonna buy it?” You couldn’t help but let out a laugh at that. “Just because it reminds me of you doesn’t mean that I’m gonna buy it,” you tease, “Some of us don’t have money on hand to buy anything we want y’know. Let’s get going for real now.”

Mammon opened his mouth for a second as if to protest but allowed himself to be dragged along by the hand. You only just made it a few dozen steps out of the mall when he stopped, awkwardly slipping his hand out of yours. You whip your head around to shoot him a quizzical look but his eyes are already focused elsewhere. “Mammon…?”

“Wait here a sec,” he mumbled as he took off back into the direction you both came from. You can only look around bewildered as you see him pass through a throng of demons and pass around the corner. Left standing around for a few minutes you could only conclude that considering the speed in which he disappeared, he must’ve seen another witch looking to get paid back - or maybe even lucifer! He really left suddenly enough for that to be an option. You kicked at the floor dejectedly, reaching into your pocket for your DDD; maybe Beel was close enough to walk you back to the HOL after being abandoned in the DEVILDOM at nIGHT. With a huff, you opened your contacts as you turned around to make your way to an area that was better lit by the streetlamps. Just as you took a step back you spotted a familiar white dash of hair in the corner of your eye. You slowly lowered your DDD from your ear as you watched him run closer.

“I told ya not to move!” he gasped between pants, “It was…. It was only a few seconds, and...” You only raised an eyebrow at him before pocketing your phone. Mammon took note of your annoyance and quickly changed his approach “W-wait! I-” he gulped as his eyes finally met yours “I jus’ thought… you wanted this,” You watched in disbelief as he pulled out the doll you had pointed out to him out of the bag he had tucked under his arm. He held out the doll for you to accept but you could only continue to stare.

"Mammon?" "Yeah?" "Did you seriously leave me to go buy the stuffed animal I looked at for like 10 seconds?" "Huh? I-" "And by leave I mean abandon, leaving a human. alone. in the devildom?"

Mammon's eyes focused anywhere but your face, scratching the back of his neck as his ears started to heat up in embarrassment. "m' sorry," he mumbled, "just wanted ta do somethin' for ya..."

You could only sigh in exasperation, taking the plushie in one hand and grabbing the flustered demon's hand in the other. The both of you were silent on the way back until he finally broke it to ask "Are... are ya mad?"

You paused for a second, giving Mammon another reason to fear for his life as he prepared for you to righteously nag him into oblivion but you only glanced at him with an unreadable expression. "No, just tired."

You continue walking for a while longer before you add "I appreciate it, I really do. But you... Mammon can only look away in shame. "...you really are an idiot sometimes." "...'m sorry Mc. I really am," he said quickly with a small pout, "I won't do it again, promise."

"You're lucky you're such a cute idiot."

Well, at least your outing ended without any major complications. And you got yourself a free plushie?

[memorys-skyscraper]

Endwalker day twoooooo

AYMERIC im love youuuuuu, omg papa Gaius too? everybody’s showing up all of a sudden

LOOK at this fucking crew omg, BRD, WHM, SCH, WAR, BLM, MNK, DRG and MCH job tutors??? the pirate dudes???? Lyse & Pipin???? LUCIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the BEST

I fuckin LOVE this pirate guy and his voice, omfg not Emmanellain lmaoooooooo he’s too much

OH MY GOD LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOO THE STEPPE CREW FUCK YESSSS SADU AND MAGNAI omg poor Cirina “Sadu pls don’t kill them”

LMAO YSHTOLA “not to put too fine a point on it, but I wouldn’t be caught dead in that” queen

TATARUUUUUU YESSSSSS COME HANG OUT IN SHARLAYAN, also omg “while I’m confident you won’t go collapsing again (because a certain someone who shall remain nameless isn’t in a position to transport your souls to another world)” drag him Tataru

“several cutscenes will play in sequence” this is what I like to HEAR let’s go

oh my god of course they put Graha in the fucking rebel coat, I literally almost put it on too, thank god I didn’t, also love that Urianger gets his post-HW outfit again. wait hold up where do I get that jacket Thancred has on, gimme, I want it

(also why does Thancred talk so quietly this expansion, is this like a consequence of covid where his VA was recording from home so he had to be quiet or is this just a choice)

ah shit here we go again, playing as Thancred, god I wish I could move his skills around, also I love these little portraits next to the dialogue in this, also also where do I get Yshtola’s coat too

oh hey there’s a new animation for drawing your weapon in a cutscene, for DRK at least (I tend to do these solo duties on DRK bc I look dumb as hell running around with my SMN book lmao)

also since when is Pipin a DRK???? is it literally bc Raubahn gave him his sword but Raubahn is so fucking big that Pipin has to use it as a greatsword LMAO

also love that Sadu and Cirina are dating now

Emet really gassing himself up in this little narration for entering Garlemald, we get it bud, you’re super fucking smart, why are you even still talking you’re fucking dead

boy it’s fuckin grim in Garlemald, huh. real fuckin bummer here. this lil moment with the twins is too much

LOL the WHM kid being like “jesus CHRIST get over yourselves” and aero’ing everybody

fucking hell, under the chin?? they really cranked up the blood on this one

pirate boy and Emmanellain new brotp

since when can Ascians just snatch people up?? why don’t they do that more often??

FUCKING LMAOOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK IS THISSSSSSSSSSSSS KIDNAPPED TO DINNER WITH ZENOS WITH FANDANIEL BUTER????? I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE I AM LOSING IT

“Ah. Exposition is in order.” wonderful thank you fandango please exposit

Zenos just fuckin munchin away down there, minding his own business. LMAO FANDANGO “finish your dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

oh my FUCKING god no we aren’t. NO WE AREN’T!!!! NO WE ARE NOT SWAPPING BODIES AND DUKING IT OUT!!!!!!!

this solo duty is fucking NUTS, I cannot believe this shit is happening. GRAHA NO, ALISAIE NO, PLEASE, STOP, ITS NOT ME, YSHTOLA CANT YOU SEE THATS NOT MY SOUL!!!!! YES QUEEN HELP!!!!!!!!!! ITS NOT ME!!!!!!!!!! TRUST YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

fucking SHIT if they had me ME kill Graha and/or Alisaie I would have lost my fucking mind

well, we made it. the fuckin moon. here we are. loving all the nice piano music this expansion

im sorry? excuse me? sparkling dog?

I FOUND THE MOON CACTUARS, they are horrifying, I both hate and love them

Hythlodaeus!!!!!!!!!! my new old friend!!!!!!!! I love him sm

“a slave to sentiment, even after an eternity” yeah that’s Emet “In you I choose to believe, as Emet-Selch did” not this...................

FLYING DOG FLYING DOG FLYING DOG, ZENOS LOOK AT MY FLYING DOG

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe we shouldn’t’ve killed Elidibus, maybe Zodiark like, needed a brain. can we just pop back over to the first and get him out of the crystal tower real quick?

LMAOOO FANDANIEL “hold on ONE sec, can I just become Zodiark rq? thanks bye!!!!!!!!”

now hold up who was that? me? pre-sundering me? idfk, anyway this fight is happening way earlier than I thought which is GREAT news bc it means utterly wild shit is going to happen to keep this plot rolling, bc just based on this being lv 83 there’s 70% of the expansion left (at least I hope so)

GOD that trial was so FUCKING fun omg, I’m so excited for EX, it’s genuinely so fun to go into these trials with nobody knowing shit but all of us hyped as fuck and wiping and all being like “holy shit this kicks ass!!!! we all just died!!!! fuck yeah!!!!!”

anyway uhhhhhhhhhhh I done goofed??????? LMAO Zenos what the FUCK do you want, this is becoming ridiculous, my catboy looks so fucking over his bullshit lmao

this man is so fucking single-minded, he literally thinks of nothing else but figuring out how to fight me. like. just come with me. come hang out. it’s fine. we can be, like, actual friends. let’s go get dinner without Fandaniel. tbh I just want Zenos as a trust

THE BUNS!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY’RE SO CUTE!!!!! thancred looks like he’s gonna have a fucking stroke lmao, you okay my guy

oh im serving looks in these outfits from the bunnies, eorzea’s next top model has arrived. just kidding Urianger is the top model, yes king strike that pose

alright calling it there, I’ve slept about 4 of the past 42 hours lmao

[lesyah]

Guardian stream of consciousness watchthrough ep. 39

Ok guys

Two episodes left

Recap: shen wei freaking jumped in front of zhao yunlan and looks to be very much hurt if not straight up dead so.

This is where I’m at rn

Ok here we go

Uggghhhh nervous

Ye zun you’re dead to me

Omg no

Noooo

OH. TMCOENCKENK

omg zhao yunlan’s face

Omg

Whatsbciwncikwje

“Wait to be in my body”

Ye zun I will LIT RALLY fight you

Name a time and place you clown lookin punk scum toe jam BUTTHEAD

oh my gosh what ejxiwjkdkwkxkwmew

Dude

I really have no words rn

I have faith that it’ll end ok because otherwise I will sink into a pit of despair

The way shen wei flopped into his ginormous stomach 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

Lin jing: 👁👄👁

Omg he told ye zun to kill him..........uggghhhhhhh honey bun I’m so sorry

My heart is aching rn

Honestly how is he alive we stan an iconic KING!!!!!!!!

“Zhao yunlan will be so happy to know you’re alive. I’m not. But he will be” lmaoooooo Li jing is like “what about you Professor shen.”

The mind control girl is back!!!!!!!!!!! And her bro!

He’s eating zhao yunlan on live tv?????????? The AUDACITY

everyone watching right now

The way he’s stopping and starting wtf I hate u

Ugh he’s so sad IM SO SAD

ye zun.......no words to describe how much you suck butt

Jeez oh Pete zhao yunlan relax a lil on the alcohol 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I’m worried for u

Yes call ye zun OUT

why would he want to cooperate with you

You’re so scummy

“I want you to die” I’m very happy with the energy we’ve created in the studio today

Honestly why is he zun keeping him alive?????

Lin jing and shen wei just straight vibing in ye zun’s stomach

“Are you coming up with freak ideas again?” Omfg

Lol at her just opening her mouth and annihilating everyone

YESS TRIBE CHIEF ZHU HONG

WE STAN

“There’s only eternal betrayal and schemings between siblings” LMAO WHAT?????

YE ZUN YOU ARE LITERALLY A TODDLER IN A GROWN PERSONS BODY

Shen Wei your power will be released completely????????? Much to think about

Bro everything really sucks rn lol

I laugh as a coping mechanism

Whoever kicked da qing.......it’s on sight

How many times has da ji died. Dang.

She’s like “it’s been nine times” how the heck did she die so many times in such a short period of time 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oop she died

Poor da qing 😭😭😭 first old li, now this

I hate it here

The monarch still just writing documents hahahahahaha

Oop

The regent really plays both sides like a fiddle dang.

Zhu Hong saying she’s been rejected all these years from zhao yunlan and she can’t be left behind this time and they all laugh omg

😬🤣

Mmmmmm it’s confusion time again

Black robe envoy just walked in

I mean it’s ye zun obviously right

They wouldn’t just do that power releasing stuff of screen lol

That’s so mean to zhao yunlan

Ye zun I hate u

It’s really fortunate for ye zun that he looks exactly like shen wei

Why did he dress like shen wei when he had no intention of pretending to be shen wei

Omg he just launched the bartender

Why’s he coughing ????????????

What is zyl holding

Oh a microphone lol

That’s iconic

ICONIC

“Justice is like my customers. Although it might be late, it will come eventually” LMAO

You don’t have the wick though you little punk

Guo changcheng is so strong yes

Ew what’s on his head

Ye zun really admitted that he planned on living on the planet completely by himself

I hate the regent

Hold the phone that’s a bullet hole? Omfg

Omg he’s making guo changcheng the wick

THIS GUY REALLY DOESNT QUIT

I hate it here

Guo changcheng is so strong I love him

Zhao yunlan’s wheeze!!!

“Zhao yunlan you’ll die!!!!”

“I stayed single for 20 years for this” HAHAHAHA WHAT??!!!!!!

Oh it ended. Wtf. Alright then.

[bienmoreau]

The Dork Reads The Lightning-Struck Heart: chapters 13-18

@lio-zehel​ & @glitterghost​

(13)

Does Gary have such an obsession with wanking because he can’t?

Aayyy Ryan has a Darcy MomentTM

Hi my names Sam and I NEVER FUKING LEARNT HOW TO FILTER MY FUKING SPEACH.

“That was erotic.. ENLIGHTENING!”

Whispers “I’m a foxy lady” LMAO

Fukin lmao. Ryan fukin fell into the river ‘cause of the innuendo Gary set up for sam. They both idiots. When can we have them being idiots together

Ohh this back story is written so nicely. Sams narrative voice is such a mess. But TJs writing is really nice when he wants it to be.

“Who knew the forest was infested with twinks”

“No tiggy, no smashing, we don’t smash little twinks. We let them grow up so they can provide a valuable service by having sex with men.”

“Honey-bear you are the gayest thing I’ve seen since I last saw my own reflection”

OMG! OMG! OMG! Ryan = Nox! That’s hilarious and fantastic and I love it! I thought it might be something like this when he mentioned being from the slums. But OMG! I love it.

Aww time for all the honesty (well most likely not ALL the honesty but some! And it’s good stuff.)

Look at these boys from humble gutter origins working hard and striving for better and becoming the best versions of themselves.

What a great duo.

“Name one thing I have ever done to you- wait don’t answer that I just thought of 40”

xD xD xD poor poor Ryan.  Sam has so many extremely sexually active acquaintances

Yes Sammy! Lay down those rules.

“Thank you for having me to you whore house. I mean your home. Eh, Where people pay to have sex”

“Is he broken”

“Please let it be known that from this day forward my working title for the business is ‘Queen of the Fuck Palace’”

“I like him”

“What? Why? You don’t like anyone”

“I’m standing right here.”

“Still standing right here. And I don’t know what proletariats are but I feel like someone is insulting me, somehow”

“Feeeeling a little objectified now.”

Lmao poor Ryan. He is so very very out of his depth.

DAMN! What!? What kinda backstory teaser drop was that!?

“You’re being interviewed for a job” LMAO. oh ryan. You fool.

DAAAMMNN RYAN! DAAAMMNN!  LOVE IT 😂😆

And now Sams the idiot again.

(Like he ever stopped)

“Won’t his one true love know when he breaks the engagement?”

“Are you really that stupid”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that!?”

“Ryan would you care to-“

“Nope. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

PHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

“You’re fired. Pack up your shit and get out”

“YOU CANT FIRE HIM! HES THE BEST WHORE YOU’VE-wait”

I feel like half the time the way sam says ‘no’ is like John Mulaney’s “NOOoooooO!”

Awww Ryan’s so bitter abt how much Sam likes Todd’s ears.

“Everyone has ears”

Also Sams an idiot and just completely missed a very relevant conversation

Ryan is so jealous of the almost fairy wedding

I love that Ryan knows to ground Sam without even knowing what he is to him.

Baby wizard xD

“And by lookers i mean, you looked at them and said ‘eh, why not’”

xD xD

Omfg Sam. Why. Why did you just strip in front of your crush because a damn unicorn taunted you.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat” 👀👀👀

Ooooh my goood! Ryan is talking very clearly abt the fan club shipping him and Sam and is just STARING AT SAM the whole time and sam is mass and an idiot and he’s totally making a massive fool of himself and YET! Ryan is totally still completely smitten.

Oh good! A bard.

Omfg. The guy doing live pre-show advertising 😂😂😂

“Yaaaaaay rystin!” “whooo rystin”

Cheesy dicks and candle sticks.

What. What?  What???

Why?

Omfg

“If I was a unicorn glitter would be pouring off me right now”

Back at it again with the 5 star one-liners!

Also yay for the lil pep talk (interspersed with the logistics of an 12-way)

Things I’ve actually literally been called by real people i know before and have now just read as describing Sam and so don’t know how to feel abt that: “you’re a conundrum wrapped in an enigma” (thanks dude on my course at uni)

“Okay?”

“Fine! Uugghh sorry”

“It’s okay. Who do I need to kill?”

(Gotta get me a freak like that!)

“YOU LIE WITH ALL YOUR LIES”

“Can we please talk about ‘knight delicious face’. what the hell does that mean?” Bruh im thinking you could probably work that one out yourself. they have not been being subtle 

“Sounds weak. I bet I could take him in a fight. Probably doesn’t even work out or anything. I work out. A lot”

Ryan. Dude. Chill.

“How is this your life?”

Ryan out here asking Sam the eternal question.

“It’s not little”

“I’ve seen bigger”

“That’s not what you were saying when it was poking you in the middle of your date. You know, with Todd. Who has ears.”

CHILL IT WITH THE EARS THING ALREADY RYAN. my gods!

Also like lmao @ this whole extended innuendo abt Ryan’s sword.. and the dark wizards reactions.

ALSO HOLY SHIT LMAO THEY HAVE A VERSION OF FRIENDS!! And liken them to ‘Russ’ and ‘Rochelle’

“Ooh You mean Companions? I love that story. It’s always will they or won’t they.  I just want to push their faces together and scream at them to kiss”

“I just don’t like chewing in the morning”

Oh hey. Lightning.

“Sooo. That was a thing that happened.”

[sassiperere]

Sex Tape

Title: Sex Tape Pairing: Akira Kurusu/Ryuji Sakamoto Rating: M (implied sexual content) Word Count: 3712 Summary: futaba gets a hold of some compromising information and it all goes downhill from there (chatfic)

Fucking i dont even REMEMBER how we got to this conversation in the pegoryu discord server BUT WE DID and we semi rpd this whole thing at 11pm all the way through midnight and i was writing this thing based on that conversation at like 2 am so im actually very embarrassed but anyway enjoy this fucking chaos of a fanfic

READ IT ON AO3

GROUP NAME: ✨ PHANTOM THIEVES ✨

MEMBERS: Capable Leader™, -` RYUJI ´-, ANN~, Yusuke K., Makoto, [hacker voice].

TODAY 00:47 AM

[hacker voice]: Gee, futaba, what do you do with all your amazing hacking skills?

[hacker voice]: I leak government secrets, destroy anonymous organizations and hack into my old neopets account because I forgot the password and I wanted to feel nostalgic

Makoto: What’s that?

[hacker voice]: children’s website. You had to adopt a “neopet” and raise it kinda like a Tamagotchi. It had some really fun features like games and events and shit. It really kept me entertained when I was younger

[hacker voice]: comfort site, if you will.

Makoto: Sounds nice!

Capable Leader™: you played that? I thought it was really boring when I tried

[hacker voice]: with all due respect wtf is wrong with you?

Capable Leader™: I dunno, all the neopets looked kinda ugly…

[hacker voice]: you have a dick with tentacles as a persona and you’re calling neopets ugly????

Capable Leader™: I never said Mara was pretty

[hacker voice]: point taken

[hacker voice]: but like my point is

[hacker voice]: kacheeks

Capable Leader™: They were kinda cute but I abandoned one for a soy sauce or whatever was that dragon one

[hacker voice]: that’s it

[hacker voice]: that’s where I draw the line

[hacker voice]: you’re dead to me

[hacker voice]: I’m leaking your nudes

Capable Leader™: WTF?? HOW DO YOU HAVE THEM?? I DON’T EVEN HIDE THEM IN MY PHONE ANYMORE??

[hacker voice]: oh my god you actually have nudes?

Capable Leader™: oh…

Capable Leader™: woops…

ANN~: knew it

ANN~: @ -` RYUJI ´- pay the fuck up

-` RYUJI ´-: wtf? WTF??? WTF AKIRA???

-` RYUJI ´-: WHY DO YOU HAVE NUDES??

-` RYUJI ´-: ARE THEY YOURS OR LIKE NUDES YOU RECEIVED?

Capable Leader™: Listen

[hacker voice]: update I got them

Capable Leader™: do you really?

[hacker voice]: four of them were taken on the same day cause your nails were painted black and the other two are from a different angle and your underwear has paw prints on it

Capable Leader™: fuck.

-` RYUJI ´-: FOR REAL??

Makoto: Excuse me what kind of nonsense is going on right now?

[hacker voice]: I hacked into Akira’s PC and got his super secret dick pix

Makoto: I expected better from both of you

ANN~: Guys I’m heer im just slaughging so hard I cant se

-` RYUJI ´-: WHY DO YOU HAVE THESE?? WHO ARE YOU SENDING THEM TO??

Capable Leader™: does it matter who I send my genitals to?

-` RYUJI ´-: UH YEAH?? I CAN’T BE THE ONLY ONE WORRIED ABOUT THIS CAN I??

Yusuke K.: What seems to be the matter?

-` RYUJI ´-: AKIRAS BEEN SENDING NUDES TO STRANGERS AND FUTABA GOT THEM

Yusuke K.: Akira I did not know you had nude portraits of yourself

Yusuke K.: You should have informed me. I would gladly appraise them.

Yusuke K.: I would love to paint you too, if you so desire. I’m sure your form is marvelous to capture on canvas.

-` RYUJI ´-: dude…

ANN~: I FEEL BAD THAT IM LAUGHING

Makoto: @Yusuke K. it’s really not what you think…

[hacker voice]: ryuji are you

[hacker voice]: jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeealous?

 PRIVATE MESSAGE: the blonde fuckboy one

the blonde fuckboy one: yo futaba

the blonde fuckboy one: do you actually for real have akiras dick there?

You: YOU ARE I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

the blonde fuckboy one: stfu

You: yeah I do have akira’s nudes for real, here I’ll send you a sneaky preview as proof

You sent AKIRA_NUDE_1_CENSOR.jpeg

the blonde fuckboy one: oh my god

You: interested in the full, uncensored ver? For a mere fee of 400y you can have it

the blonde fuckboy one: no wtf im not gonna do that to my bro akira

the blonde fuckboy one: but how big is he

You: im speechless

the blonde fuckboy one: is he bigger than me?

You: dunno need material to compare

the blonde fuckboy one: ok

the blonde fuckboy one: wait

the blonde fuckboy one: youre gonna threaten to leak mine too fuck you

You: worth a shot

 PRIVATE MESSAGE: Emo Bob Ross

Emo Bob Ross: Hello, Futaba, I am interested in Akira’s nude portraits. Are you perhaps offering them?

Emo Bob Ross: Ryuji did say Akira was sending them off to strangers so I would imagine he has no quarrel with me evaluating it.

Emo Bob Ross: Should I pick them up at Leblanc?

You: I don’t even know where to start

Emo Bob Ross: Any of them would be fine. It would be difficult to take multiple ones to the dorms regardless.

You: I feel bad now

Emo Bob Ross: ?

You: yusuke… you should go to bed…

You: you’re typing a lot please don’t make this into an art rant thing

Emo Bob Ross: Futaba must I explain once again that nude portraits have no perverted undertones and are about the portrayal of the human being stripped of all it’s factors back down to it’s core, thus revealing it’s innermost self? The true self. The self an artist so desperately seeks to represent and very few up to this date have been successful. My eternal search for the perfect and realest form has me in need of diverse- both physically and spiritually – models that are willing to bare their very souls to me. I am not looking at this experience as a lustful, carnal desire. I would never dare take advantage of someone who has been brave enough to let me gaze upon their being so intimately for the sake of art. We have been through this. I have been through this with several people, in actuality, I’m starting to get a little tired of explaining this over and over again but for the sake of deconstruction of societal standards that block my advancement in the unexplored road to artistic perfection I will gladly do so.

You: holy shit

You: im sorry yusuke but its 1 am im just skimming through this

You: the thing is not that I doubt your passion to your study of the arts

You: the thing is that what I have… is not art…

Emo Bob Ross: I’ll be the judge of that

Emo Bob Ross: Not to offend you but I have a trained eye

You: you know what

You: do you have 400y? For that much you can have the digital copy. Physical copy is gonna be at least 600 depending on the material

Emo Bob Ross: I’m low on cash but I’ll keep you in mind if I manage to rake in the money.

 GROUP NAME: ✨ PHANTOM THIEVES ✨

[hacker voice]: @Capable Leader™ lets make a deal

[hacker voice]: give me a copy of every nude you make willingly and I wont leak these

Capable Leader™: why tf would I do that

[hacker voice]: cause your dick is magical and I’ll split the spoils 20/80

Makoto: Stop this at once. There’s no way this deal is good news. Akira knows this.

Capable Leader™: I demand at LEAST 50/50

Makoto: AKIRA

[hacker voice]: I deserve more?? I’m doing ALL the work?

Capable Leader™: It’s MY dick??

-` RYUJI ´-: he’s right tho… the dick is like 90% of a man’s identity…

ANN~: Whats the other 10%?

-` RYUJI ´-: the balls

ANN~: I’m sorry I asked

[hacker voice] 40/60 is the MAX im willing to go and that’s me being GENEROUS because I recognize you have magic juju dick pix that already fished in two possible buyers

[hacker voice]: and also youre my friend and I love you

-` RYUJI ´-: I never said I’d buy it???

[hacker voice]: sigh

Capable Leader™: Ryuji…

-` RYUJI ´-: UH

Capable Leader™: Bro…

-` RYUJI ´-: I MEAN

Capable Leader™: If you wanted my nudes…

-` RYUJI ´-: I ALSO ENVER SAID I ASKED FUTABA FOR THEM DON’T GET THE WRONG IDEA

Capable Leader™: You just had to ask…

-` RYUJI ´-: LISTEN I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU WERE BIGGER THAN ME THAT’S A MAN THING

-` RYUJI ´-: wait really

ANN~: omfg

Makoto: I feel like this conversation is about to get very intimate

Yusuke K.: I would like to request permission to ask for your nudes as well, Akira

Capable Leader™: oh

Capable Leader™: well that’s a surprising turn of events

Yusuke K.: I fail to see how that surprises you considering you know how I am a fan of the erotica genre and it’s artistic disposition to strip a human bare to it’s very core.

-` RYUJI ´-: no dude…

-` RYUJI ´-: like this is not the nude art thing you keep talking about...

-` RYUJI ´-: this is like

Capable Leader™: (implying I’m not art)

[hacker voice]: touché

-` RYUJI ´-: a dick pic

-` RYUJI ´-: like its just a picture of his dick taken with his phone camera that’s it

Yusuke K.: Well, anything can be art! Art is subjective! I would like to evaluate the photograph!

-` RYUJI ´-: LISTEN MAN, AKIRA DIDN’T TAKE THAT PICTURE TO BE ARTSY, TRUST ME.

Makoto: Yusuke I strongly advise against this

Makoto: If anyone online offers to send you “a nude” please do not accept it…

Yusuke K.: It does intrigue me why anyone would simply want a picture of someone else’s genitalia when you could get the full view…

Makoto: remain intrigued

Makoto: not everything in life needs to be understood

Capable Leader™: Hey Futaba, I accept payment in Ryuji’s nudes as well

[hacker voice]: the contract has been sealed

-` RYUJI ´-: WTF AKIRA

-` RYUJI ´-: I DIDN’T CONSENT TO THIS

Capable Leader™: Come on, Ryuji… my bro…

Capable Leader™: This is just a bro thing…

Capable Leader™: Whomst amongst us never seen their best bro’s dick?

Capable Leader™: You’re my best bro, Ryuji… I wanna get to know every part of you…

Makoto: this is a public chat

[hacker voice]: gross

Capable Leader™: The very deep and intimate connection between two bros is nothing to hide, Makoto…

ANN~: You should hang out and deepen your bond

[hacker voice]: don’t think I don’t know what youre doing ann, that’s cheating

ANN~: ;)

-` RYUJI ´-: bro…

-` RYUJI ´-: If you wanted MY nudes bro…

-` RYUJI ´-: you could have just asked, bro….

Makoto: I can’t believe this is a thing that is happening right now

ANN~: ive turned off the TV this group chat is too lit for me to take my eyes off it

Makoto: it’s 2 am we should prepare to bed

Capable Leader™: [MESSAGE DELETED]

[hacker voice]: FUCK

ANN~: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS IM RAKING IT IN TONIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

ANN~: WAIT WHAT

Capable Leader™: what? I didn’t delete that?

ANN~: FUTABA THATS CHEATING!!

[hacker voice]: YOU CHEATED FIRST! YOU INSTIGATED HIM!

ANN~: I INSTIGATED THE IDEA BUT NOT WHO WOULD BE SAYING IT???

[hacker voice]: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ANN~: SAY IT AGAIN AKIRA

Capable Leader™: @ -` RYUJI ´- come over

[hacker voice]: I hate that im partially to blame for this

-` RYUJI ´-: woah akira

ANN~: no bitch no matter how this conversation went it would end the same way cause im ALWAYS RIGHT

ANN~: I’m making it rain Monday morning. I’m taking Shiho to that fancy cake place she wanted to go.

-` RYUJI ´-: isn’t it kinda late for that??

Capable Leader™: I’m alone and Boss doesn’t open shop tomorrow

Capable Leader™: I can show you the goods myself

Capable Leader™: You know?

-` RYUJI ´-: SDSDMX,X CM SALÇ DAÇSD

-` RYUJI ´-: DID YOUJUST BOOTY CALL ME??

Capable Leader™ sent MAYBESO.gif

-` RYUJI ´-: BRO

Makoto: Gross innuendos publicly aside: finally

Makoto: It was getting frustrating seeing you two obviously pinning on each other

[hacker voice]: and don’t even talk about the baton passes…

Capable Leader™: I mean he hasn’t accepted yet…

ANN~: oh he will

ANN~: he better

-` RYUJI ´-: why should you decide

ANN~: cause as your best friend I know whats best for you and I know for a damn fact you will not get a better score than akira

-` RYUJI ´-: thanks I love you too

ANN~: FUCKING LOOK AT HIM! HE’S OFFERING HIMSELF ON A SILVER PLATTER!

-` RYUJI ´-: THIS IS REALLY AWKWARD FOR ME MAN…

ANN~: don’t embarrass yourself in front of your crush like that

Capable Leader™: I like when they get shy

ANN~: oh my god youre such a slut

Capable Leader™: ;)

-` RYUJI ´-: bro…

ANN~: WHAT ARE YOU DOING STILL IN THE CHATROOM GO ANSWER THE GOD DAMNED BOOTY CALL ALREADY

-` RYUJI ´-: IM REALLY NERVOUS OK

ANN~: RYUJI YOU USELESS BISEXUAL

-` RYUJI ´-: GDI

Capable Leader™: you don’t have to come for real it was just a joke

ANN~:  wait really?

Capable Leader™: @ -` RYUJI ´-

Capable Leader™: wait is he actually coming??

[hacker voice]: yeah he left 5 mins I traced his phone rn

Capable Leader™: oh fuck…..

ANN~: was it actually a joke??

Capable Leader™: No I just didn’t think I’d actually get this far??

ANN~: YOURE BOTH USELESS BISEXUALS AND I HATE YOU

Yusuke K.: Akira may I join you both? If you’re willing to model for me I will certainly not pass on this opportunity

Makoto: Please don’t.

Capable Leader™: oh my god yusuke

Capable Leader™: not today

Capable Leader™: maybe some other day

Capable Leader™: wink wink

Yusuke K.: I understand. Take all the time you need but please consider my request.

[hacker voice]: I can’t believe Ryuji’s about to get the succ

[hacker voice]: according to my gps ryuji should already be at leblanc??

Capable Leader™: oh he’s here alright. Just nervously prancing in front of my front door.

Capable Leader™: I haven’t called to him yet, let a man be ready

Capable Leader™: (I also don’t know if im fully ready so…)

ANN~: oh grl you got this

ANN~: you’ve been training all your life for this

ANN~: besides its not like hes gonna know the difference between a good bj and a bad bj lol

Capable Leader™: youre right

Capable Leader™: but I also you know, care about him a lot

Capable Leader™: I wanna make this a good experience cause I care about ryuji a lot… like in a very gay way…

ANN~: Aww!! :)

Makoto: I want to take no part in this conversation but that was adorable

ANN~: srsly im talking to ryuji rn on private and hes freaking out cause of the same thing

ANN~: wants it to be really good to you bc he loves you sm and youre so hot and hes already semi just thinking abt you

Capable Leader™: I’m flattered

ANN~: he’s super overwhelmed cause its his first time and with a boy he loves so like admsadsa damn ryuji youre so cute

ANN~: almost makes my cold blooded bitch heart feel something

Capable Leader™: I’ll give him all the time he needs!

ANN~: you should really open the door for him and at least put him inside cause its cold and there was a robbery in your street earlier this week

ANN~: and you know ryuji hell stubbornly stand in front of that store until the sun comes up if hes wallowing in nerves

Capable Leader™: youre right…

Capable Leader™: im gonna go do that…

Capable Leader™: @[hacker voice] if you have any cameras in my room turn them off!

[hacker voice]: for how much?

Capable Leader™: FUTABA, PLEASE.

[hacker voice]: calm down theyre already off. Havent been on since we became friends.

[hacker voice]: just thought youd like to have your fond memories engraved on tape for your enjoyment…

Capable Leader™: …

Capable Leader™: that’s… tempting

Makoto: are you out of your mind??

ANN~: YOU’RE SUCH A SLUT, AKIRA

Makoto: God, you’re hopeless. At least talk it over with Ryuji first.

Capable Leader™: I just did. He’s cool with it.

Makoto: Somehow I feel like this is an oversimplification of the conversation.

Capable Leader™ changed his username to Tapable Leader <3

Tapable Leader <3 changed the group name to AKIRA & RYUJI’S SEX TAPE

Makoto: I’m leaving.

Makoto: Only talk to me when you want to group up from now on.

-` RYUJI ´-: I ONLY AGREED WITH IT IF ONLY ME AND AKIRA GET A COPY!!

-` RYUJI ´-: ITS ONLY FAIR CONSIDERING YOU’RE ALREADY SELLING AKIRA’S NUDES!!

[hacker voice]: I’ll make three copies of the sex tape

[hacker voice]: 600y each

[hacker voice]: first come first serve

[hacker voice]: no reservations

[hacker voice]: you show me the money the tape is yours

[hacker voice]: those are my terms

Tapable Leader <3: even if Ryuji and I get copies there’ll still be one in the wild for someone to buy?

ANN~: isn’t that thrilling tho

ANN~: one other stranger youll never know about can be watching you

ANN~: and if futaba agrees to take down any reuploads of the tape its like your very own secret but like… shared with a stranger… that’s a kink isn’t it??

[hacker voice]: yure right…

Tapable Leader <3: holy shit

Makoto: This is so irresponsible…

[hacker voice]: thought you wanted no part in this?

Makoto: I can’t simply not take part. You guys are worse unsupervised…

Tapable Leader <3: Futaba, it’s a deal if mine and Ryuji’s copies are free of charge

[hacker voice]: fair enough

Tapable Leader <3: nice. We’re going upstairs now.

[hacker voice]: camera’s ready!

ANN~: lmao I cant believe this is actually happening

Makoto: so much for reputable thieves…

Makoto: I swear if this sex tape leaks and we get found out because of it…

Makoto: What’s worse! Akira’s on probation! That will most definitely spell trouble for him depending on who gets their hands on this tape!

ANN~: Guess we have no choice but to buy it ourselves!

Makoto: Or don’t do the sex tape?! At all?!

ANN~: Nothing’s gonna happen, Makoto! Chillax!

ANN~: How can they possibly trace a video of Akira sucking Ryuji off back to the phantom thieves?

ANN~: What kind of evidence even is this?

[hacker voice]: Akira’s jacked??? I didn’t know he worked out that much??

ANN~: he looks really skinny right?

ANN~: did ryuji come with his stupid neon pink and green watermelon bullshit panties?

[hacker voice]: they stopped to talk rn

[hacker voice]: ryujis like flipping

[hacker voice]: asking if akira had done this before

[hacker voice]: apparently akira has sucked “some dicks”

[hacker voice]: AT LEAST TWO ARE FROM HIS CLASS

Makoto: Do you really need to keep us updated?

ANN~: yes

Makoto: sigh

[hacker voice]: @ANN~ ryuji’s wearing the pink underwear

ANN~: god I hate those

ANN~: @Tapable Leader <3 burn them when youre done

[hacker voice]: I hate doing this. This is just like when you’re watching a movie and there’s a unnecessary kissing scene and the entire scene is like 3 minutes of uncomfortable schlepping kissing noises.

ANN~: yeah that must be pretty awkward

[hacker voice]: it is super awkward. Akira owes me one

[hacker voice]: oh my god

[hacker voice]: ryuji scared the crap outta me he legit screamed right now

[hacker voice]: I don’t even need mics for this ryuji’s so loud

ANN~: whaaat? Ryuji? Loud?? Who would have thought…

-` RYUJI ´-: IM SORRY OK IM REALLY LIVID HERE

ANN~: WTF???? WHAT AR EYOU DOING TEXTING US???

-` RYUJI ´-: IDK WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS!!

ANN~: YOURE USELESS. I CANT BELIEVE YOU.

Tapable Leader <3: you can pull my hair, its fine

ANN~: HOW ARE YOU TEXTING EVEN??

Makoto: It’s been a while since we got an update.

[hacker voice]: do you want em?

Makoto: No, I simply worry how long this is lasting.

[hacker voice]: it’s gotten to a really graphic point. I’m not even watching anymore, its really really awkward… if you want the full juice you’ll have to buy the tape!

[hacker voice]: oh theyre done

[hacker voice]: they just threw the dirty clothes on the floor and went straight to sleep

[hacker voice]: orgasming must be really tiring…

ANN~: @Tapable Leader <3 @-` RYUJI ´- CONGRATS ON THE SECS!! We’re all really happy for you!! You guys deserve each other, really! If anyone says otherwise I’ll punch them!

Makoto: @Tapable Leader <3 @-` RYUJI ´- regardless of how reckless and utterly stupid this whole thing was, I’m genuinely glad you guys worked it out and are finally being honest with each other. It was awfully unhealthy for the team dynamic to watch you two dance around the issue of your attraction so, congratulations!

[hacker voice]: @Tapable Leader <3 @-` RYUJI ´- im not as good with expressing things as the other girls but im also happy I somehow brought you two together. Don’t worry I wont actually sell the sex tapes to anyone btw

[hacker voice]: (or will i)

ANN~: omfg

[hacker voice]: Yusuke’s typing a lot im concerned

Yusuke K.: I did not fully grasp the concept of what was truly going on in this chat tonight but after extensive research and questioning Ann on certain topics I now understand. Futaba’s attempts at prostituting Akira have somehow led into a nuptial encounter between Akira and Ryuji, the kind of which both parties have been secretly interested in for a long time. I also congratulate you both in your achievement for the act of intimacy born from fondness and admiration is one of the truest forms of adoration our kind have come across. I only wish for more of these enjoyable moments and if any of you would be so kind as to model for me the most beautiful sensation of your endless love I would be very thankful.

[hacker voice]: holy shit

[hacker voice]: just looking at this is making my eyes heavy

[hacker voice]: im going to sleep folks

ANN~: same

ANN~: we have to wake up before ryuji and akira to surprise them at leblanc

ANN~: we’ll bring a congrats on the sex cake

[hacker voice]: I’m in

Makoto: guess it won’t hurt to check on them

Yusuke K.: I would love to discuss this over some cake!

ANN~: deal, then! Good night, thieves <3

-` RYUJI ´-: you fuckers are gonna see some dicks

ANN~: that’s the plan dapper dan

ANN~: now go to bed!

thx for your time i hope you enjoyed it ideas that we did in the rp and i couldnt find a way to put here: > futaba leaks the nudes on the phan site > mishima warns akira of the thing and says he has a nice package > akira gets arrested for publicly posting pornography and akechi recognized him by the dick > "whats wrong with a little dick pic" "its not little" > makoto buys a copy of the akira/ryuji sex tape and resells it at school > mishima buys a copy

[survivornavarino]

Episode #9: I’m A Fighter -Jake

*loud screeching noise* AHHHHHHHHHH omfg i cant believe we just did that #beam 4 life ok so like i feel horrible because i love drew but he was trying to make an alliance and it didnt include me and i had to take him out before it was too late because while it wouldnt be me this vote it probably would next time so like sorry drew i love u im sure this doesnt help my case for like why u should b my friend but like i rlly am sorry.  also i feel bad for lying to jake but it just wouldve gotten back to drew and i didnt want to risk that.  im hoping he doesnt hate me too much for blindsiding his ally but like again, they were trying to have a majority alliance that i wasnt a part of and i just didn't want to deal with it tbh.  maybe jake and i are just doomed to eternally be on separate sides in games idk (sad music plays) umm trixie idk we dont really talk we just kind of coexist UM HOLDUP JESUS CHRIST WE JUST FUCKING MERGED WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WIG ON PLUTO WHAT TO HECK ????? im off to plot heathers demise xoxo gossip beckka

Woot Woot its merge loves. Time to be a complete mess and be first merge boot. Hehehe

I MADE IT, MY SECOND ATHENA GAME AND I MADE IT TO MERGE AGAIN IM INCREDIBLEY HAPPY. Let’s hope I don’t get eighth place again, and if I’m gonna be honest I need Drew gone if I’m gonna win. He’s so fucking good at challenges. So eliminating him would mainly be out of fear.

Remember how I’m a dumbass? Me too ok so Drew was eliminated already.

Excuse me I am stupid and don't get letters are better as numbers... and also reversed. I would like an explanation plzz

words tried in number form and reversed so far that have not worked. Emily-Amanda-Abbey-Francie, Navarino, Survivor, Athena. Im gonna cry I cant find it yet.

Oh yeah tea, I ended up finding a secret advantage called the deja vote which means I can steal someone’s vote from a tribal and re-use it at a later tribal 

This was originally going to me a vlog of me screaming after tribal but I busy last night and fell asleep before doing it so now I'm more calm and just gonna type out. Okay so looking back at my last confessional, bitch I'm boo boo the fool. I seriously thought Eddie and Autumn were being honest with me because I trust(ed) them sooo much, but it turns out they were playing me and orchestrating a Drew blindside behind my back. So before I went out last night, EVERYONE told me they were voting Matt. Then two minutes before the vote, Eddie and Autumn message me like "JAKE! Are you here??? SOMETHING is happening" like bitch shut the fuck up something is not happening don't act like this shit just happened last minute. Then they say "Drew is getting voted out tonight!" So...I went to Drew and told him to play the idol if he had it. Because I didn't want Matt staying if I was voting for him. But Drew said he didn't have an idol, and Eddie found out that I told Drew and told Autumn. So after I got home I messaged the group chat with Eddie and Autumn and told them that I was upset by them lying to me bc I did trust them the most. Then Autumn decided to get ballsy and reply "I don't buy that at all since you told Drew to play his idol, you were more loyal to him than me." GIRL STFU yes the fuck I did tell Drew because you told me TWO MINS BEFORE TRIBAL - MEANING YOU KEPT THE VOTE HIDDEN FROM ME ALL DAY. DON'T SAY IM DISLOYAL WHEN YOU WERE THE BIGGEST MFING SNAKE THIS ROUND! ...Anyways. Autumn then tries to come for me by saying "So tell, what's with this alliance between you, Eddie, Drew, and Trixie." And this is when I got more mad. BC Drew proposed this alliance to me, but it was never made, hell I didn't even tell Trixie about it. And when I told Eddie about it I told him I think we should tell Autumn about the alliance (Since he wanted to as well) So it became clear that Autumn was spreading to rebecka and matt that I was in an actual alliance with them to get them all to turn on us. So um Autumn, I wanted to trust you and go far with you in this game, but you're dead to me in this game now and I want you GONE. Autumn has the most connections here. She has Eddie, Rebecka, Matt, Ben, and I've heard that she has Mitch as well. She is a huge threat and if I can find a way to take her out, I will. But right now I need to focus on surviving. After the vote, Trixie added me to a call with Julia. Julia told us all of the alliances she's in (and she's in a damn lot) and said she basically likes Trixie more so she's working with us. Umm okay that's cool. I hope she's being serious because my life in this game is in Julia's hands now. She has all these connections and I need to get her to gun for someone that isn't me, Trixie, or Shoib. I've decided that my ideal final 3 would be with Trixie and Shoib because I trust them the most now, we've been together since day one, and we're all fans. It would be perfect. Sooo yeah. I also talked to Heather and basically blamed Tyler for all the animosity between us. I am trying to repair relationships and hopefully push the target off my back because I am worried about being targeted for 12th. IDK WHAT ELSE TO DO! I am in SUCH a bad position right now and it's so annoying. At the start of this game I had a lot of allies and the two people who trusted me the most (Tyler and Drew) are gone. But I'm a FIGHTER. I will NOT give up! I was in the minority at merge in crossroads and turned it around and made it to FTC so I just have to keep pushing and hopefully I'll get the same results! Woo wig! This was originally going to me a vlog of me screaming after tribal but I busy last night and fell asleep before doing it so now I'm more calm and just gonna type out.

https://youtu.be/iUDlOxxgtz0 my face in the thumbnail for this video is so funny cause it's when i found out of another to do the idol search. Obviously we know it didn't work adhshjks

I am pumped for this merge, I feel like I am playing a really under the radar game and it will make people come to me and ask me to vote with them if the game does break down into two sides, which I think it will. I trust Julia and Trixie the most right now and Trixie has two FREAKING idols omg. I also trust Mitch and Autumn but they are my secondary alliance which I will fall back on if I lose Trixie and Julia

Ok so no one is really messaging me about the vote, which is scary. I don't want to be first merge boot. The only people who have spoke to me are Matt, which he is confused, and Jake, which says no one really spoke to him about the vote yet. I did hear that people thought Ben and I were close, which like we have voted together, but aren't to close. I know now that Trixie has an idol and someone found the merge idol so FUN. I CAN'T WAIT TO BE FIRST MERGE BOOT.

Me starting a grassroots movement of Ben vs Heather cause I'm not aligned with either? Yep. Me forcing people to show their hands and make choices? Absolutely https://68.media.tumblr.com/41399c7dcc99b69388de05d609f7323c/tumblr_inline_o6ola1oDhw1sso1z7_500.gif Look none of these votes will be easy cause I like everyone and I'm aligned with almost everyone but it's Survivor I ain't scurd. I neeevvveerrr talk to Ben or Heather so I'm just gonna be a swing vote in the mess I created. Also feel free to give me the villain edit that's the one thing I haven't accomplished in Athena, besides winning or beating my placement. If not that's cool too I'll just continue to be my messy antihero self. Ok bye! Time to disappear and let the drama fester while I'm at work

You know what would be great, if more people would know who the vote is gonna be. Won't be surprised if that is me to be quite honest. Right now I hear Ben and if that is the only name I hear, I'll do it.

i never thought i'd say this but I WANNA HEX JULIA THE WITCH. okay not really bc i dont want her to read this and think im actually mad. but im wary of what i say to her now considering she told heather about my idol hehe

The votes for me cuz Beckka is bitter over another game. At least in that game I didn't isolate her. I'm prob just gonna cry in a corner.

This is a mess

this round has been a fucking mess and a half and im too busy rn trying to save my ass to make it all sophisticated i have a lot to say so if i stay ill explain everything later but basically autumn came to me today saying she wants to flip on ben so im trying to rally eddie trixie shoib julia and heather to get 7 on ben but apparently ben is throwing my name out bc he doesnt want to vote heathwr and immm fucking nervous idek if heather will wanna vote ben now if hes trying to save her what if she flips like this is bad help

The first merge vote is stressful as fuck cus there’s 12 people. I’m fine as long as it’s not me.

Don't know what's going on. Voting heather and hoping it works!!!!!

Good god am I glad I'm immune for this bullshit Let's start with merge. Woo merge! The idol system is announced. I actually make progress on the advantage hunt! Then I finish it. And someone already has it. GREAT So then I try the idol hunt and someone ALSO has it! GREATER. So now I have to worry about that shit. So I won immunity somehow because I guess preparing was a good idea since I blew through the second round. I won't be first merge boot in Athena woo!!! But now the vote is fucking crazy. I want to vote out Heather because, as sweet as she is, she's got a lot of ears listening for info for her and it's better to get someone like that out early before it's too late. But people don't want to because they're the ears! Big surprise. People are between Jake and Ben and Heather and honestly? I want to keep Ben around a little more. My plan for now is to not have one big alliance, but rather to be a part of small trio alliances so people can have my back without the worry of a huge alliance fracturing. I just have to keep the trio members safe. My planned trios are as follows: Ben, Mo, myself Shoib, Autumn, myself Rebecka, Julia, myself (WIP) That's 7 people who have my back in varying circumstances, as long as they're being truthful. I've also been alerted to a greater alliance of Matt, Ben, Julia, Mo, and Rebecka. Hopefully this trio plan will help me get in with those people more, and perhaps in the close future I can take out Matt and get rid of that variable.

i made merge!! its lit!! there hasnt been a lot going on so far. nobodys really reached out to me and ive been so busy so im just going with what rebecka wants, which is heather. i’m not sure voting heather is a good move for me, in fact i know its not, but unfortunatelt i dont have the time to make another move and im just tryin to survive

What is going on here on this day? This is a mess and i'm just on the train a long for the ride. I'm hearing Ben, Jake, and Heather, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's me tonight. Like I'm sure they're afraid of Jake having an idol, so why not throw their votes on someone who's irrelevant at the moment and who probably wouldn't see it coming? Anyway, I HIGHLY doubt Ben is leaving tonight, and I don't really believe that the votes are going on Heather or Jake, idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk idk. I really hope Jake stays, and I really hope Ben goes or I am probably screwed af.